Tender tears this morning. As I lay in bed after my early morning teaching gig, I felt a sadness in my field. A loss. A longing. I could feel my inner masculine trying to search for where this feeling may be coming from. I felt my mind toggling and gripping. There was a feeling of just wanting to let go of my mind, but what I heard was to let go of the judgement of the mind. It is the inner judgements and expectations of myself that have kept me in a more mental domain for a lot of my life.
As I turned the dial down on those, like a fade button on an image or an audio track, I got to FEEL what was underneath. “I miss my home. My family. The freedom to Be.” As I felt the energy of the words, I felt my inner orphan Auggie. I first felt him during my time away from SoulFullHeart. He is a very sensitive boy. He feels to be on the ‘spectrum’ using 3D terms. But to me he is my little astronaut. He is my connection to the stars as I always feel him in his space suit looking at the stars. Wondering. Curious. Contacting.
I just let him cry. Let him call out. Asking for help to feel okay again. To not feel alone anymore. So I held him. I cried with him. When the tears dried up, we wrote a letter to ‘them’. Whoever ‘they’ are. I feel a host of races that are reaching out to him. Reminding him of where he is from and of his exploring and curious nature. For this is their nature too. He asked them to come and visit him whenever they could, no matter how big or small. To let him know they still remember him.
I felt a warm embrace. A subtle energy that all is well. All in time. Neither he nor I are forsaken or forgotten. They just needed the invitation. Auggie offered that he could help them bridge to the people because they are scared and don’t understand. He could help them bridge to parts of me who feel the same. I saw us out in a field together. A wide open space looking out into wide open space. He had that look again. Of wonder. Of curiosity. Of exploring.
He felt more content. More surrendered. More trusting that we will all find our way back ‘home’ because in the end home is the feeling of being held here and now. The dial was turned another degree to the opening of the veil that has kept us feeling separate. Fear and doubt make up some of this veil and we will keep feeling and bridging to those parts of me that hold it up. But today we got to send a postcard of love and feel the immediate message back.
‘We love and miss you too. We are always here.’
Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator. Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.