Addiction As A Portal Into The Heart And Soul

“What is gripping you as an addiction is actually a profound invitation and portal into what your heart and soul came here to learn.” – words from my teacher and partner Raphael Awen this morning.

Addiction is something anyone can be struggling with regardless of spiritual awareness. It is actually a portal INTO your spirituality that addiction can take you. At the root of this painful loop, is a feeling, an experience, a part of you that is in deep need to be felt. They can range from an inner protector/punisher, inner mother/father, teenager, child, or multidimensional self that is struggling to be and resonate in this dimension of existence.

For men, these addictions can range from alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, pornography, over-working, sex, unhealthy relationship, politics, news, depression, anxiety and even things that are intended to be positive such as spirituality itself. For women it can be closely related yet with differences. It is not the thing one is addicted to that is at question, but rather the relationship we have to it.

What is it that lies under the need for the thing itself? What is it that it is so very much wanting us to steer clear of? By accessing the inner world of parts can you then feel the one that is using the addiction as a safety net, or in many cases an blowhorn for your attention.

YOU are not the addiction. When one can find space between himself and the part that is addicted a whole consciousness comes into view that can lead to a healing relationship that is internally generated and held with support along the way. This part can begin the journey of receiving its needs through YOU, the centered heart, and not the object of the addiction. It can receive Love from the Divine and other spirits through this channel of You.

It is an ongoing and sometimes difficult journey that can only start with one question that leads to feeling. What is it that you need that you are not getting from the inside?

Raphael and I will be discussing this topic in our next sacred masculine live stream this Wednesday. Time to be announced, but it will be in the afternoon Pacific Time. The recording will be shared on our feeds and on our SoulFullHeart Experience channel. We are looking forward to hearing from many of you who are moving, or have moved through difficult addictions.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

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The Inevitability Of Rebirth

Rebirth has a way of finding you.

No matter the life circumstances or situations, as we choose ascension we chose death and rebirth. It is purely unavoidable. The things that once seemed so true become untrue until they are meant to be true again, but in a whole new way.

The habits, geopgraphies, relationships, and livliehoods all come a moment of sacred rumble. It is the permanence of impermanence that guides this path of growth and authentic alignment. What you continue to hold onto that doesn’t fully align with where you are heading as an individual, will always be highlighted by the Divine time and again until you get that it is finally time to take a deep hard feel into what is real and aligned…and what is not.

Rebirth isn’t always about letting go. It is also about going INto. Into the fire of passion and purpose. Into the sacred dance of romance and service. Into the shadow and into the light. Into fear and into Love.

The emotional and spiritual bodies hold the keys to unlock these ‘heart spots’. The ones that have been hard to see or just not wanting to be addressed due to the understandable fear of death…OR is it the rebirth that parts of you fear more?

What does rebirth mean? What does it look like and feel like? Who with be there to keep it all afloat? It is an empty canvass and YOU are the artist. YOU are the one that responds to love instead of fear. What would life be like to no longer respond in the old way?


These are the voices that come from within. Your Protector, your inner child, your teenager, your Metasoul timelines. The network of parts that make up the network you call You. These are the parts to hold and feel that help midwife this scary yet alive New.

The solar activations and geomagnetic storms are sending these canaries out of your heartmine. Hear them. Feel them. Hold them. Love them into this new birthing one courageous day at a time. Support is here and now.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Painting by Delawer Omar



Responding To ‘Negative/Evil/Dark’ Energies As An Ambassador Of Love

Seeing energies as ‘dark demons’ or ‘attacking you’ or as ‘evil’ is the old paradigm, 3D/lower 4D way of relating to them.

It can be a polarized reaction that comes from the roots of undigested fear/trauma in your Inner Child/Inner Teenager parts. These parts are often STILL in various states of terror and PTSD from undigested traumas. They are STILL usually stuck in these traumas, living them out over and over again.

It is challenging NOT to fuse to this fear and for part of you, your Inner Protector, to then want to fight/battle in response to it. Especially if you are experiencing a repeating pattern of intense experiences and interactions with these kinds of fear-polarized energies and have been most of your life.

These kind of experiences are also heightened right now because collective consciousness is moving from 3D to lower 4D…flushing up these energies to be felt and seen. Those souls who have chosen to assist their birth family lines in healing are also experiencing a heightened sense of the fear that has been ‘passed down’ to them for healing, as I am seeing more in sessions lately.

As you draw more light into your BEing, open your heart more, experience yourself more as Divine essence….these ‘darker’ energies are drawn to you. Like moths to a flame…yet not to attack, but rather to receive LOVE from and with you. They are trying to get your attention as they can see that you have something to offer them that may finally put an end to their suffering. Seeing these energies through the eyes of compassion, you can feel then how much pain they are in and operating from.

ALL energies, ALL BEings, want to return back to love again ultimately. When responded to with love and not fear, with compassion not judgement, with curiosity not knowing…..ANY energy can transmute to love again as that is what it actually IS.

Defusing from the parts of you that are scared and the Protective parts that are trying to guard them (a ‘fight or flight’ impulse reaction) helps to open up your heart space to move into your ambassador of love essence in any situation. The new heroes and heroines of New Gaia will just BE this energy of love ambassador. This will be a crucial energy to assist with the grand awakening that is coming and the process of disclosure of more lower 4D realities that will be difficult for many souls previously anchored to 3D consciousness to digest.

This becoming of a love ambassador starts from within…seeing and feeling how these energies that you are drawing are parts and aspect of yourself or fragments from your Metasoul/Higher Self in shadow…wanting to move into the light of love again.

Here is a guided meditation to meet your Inner Protector, a good place to start in getting some space from the reaction of fighting that is an ingrained impulse in 3D and helping it to transform to loving guide:

Divine Mother energies (esp. Mother Mary) help you to embody these compassionate and forgiving energies in your heart. Here is a guided meditation with me and Kalayna Colibri to connect with faces of the Divine Mother:

In 1:1 session space, we can help you to separate from the scared and fearful parts of you that loop in patterns of fear and the ones that protect them, so that you can connect to the courage of your soul and the openheartedness of your heart. These Divine self frequencies are the energies that will support you to face with love anything that comes into your experience to learn from and embrace into your heart.

More information here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator of SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions and group sessions (virtual and in person), events, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

The Valentine’s Gateway To The Heart

In the past, prior to my healing journey, Valentine’s Day would give a part of me a little cringe. There was an energy of duty and obligation that swelled up inside whenever I was in a relationship. A feeling that this part of me had to “show up” in a way and be romantic even if he wasn’t totally feeling that.

Of course, there were the Valentines when I would go all out because I was in a new relationship and would get swept up in the collective swell of romanticism. When I wasn’t, another part of me would feel an angst and a bitterness that would demean the day as commercial exploitation. Many other times I could feel an ambivalence inside me as the day would just come and go

As I reflect on that and compare it to where I am now in a conscious sacred union with Kalayna, I can feel how those reactions were portals into my relationship to love, romance, and intimacy. Since it is a collective experience, at least in Western consciousness, a lot can get kicked up in the emotional body for both men and women.

Memories of recent relationships, the status of current relationships, or the longing of future romance amplifies as we experience this as a Whole. The parts of us that were wounded and hurt are triggered at this time. What a great opportunity to feel them in this!

I feel that this is true for both men and women, yet women feel closer to it than many men as we have more of a mechanism to bury or ignore these feelings than women. But I know that men feel a great deal during this time, regardless of what a part of them may say outwardly.

We all have parts of us that relate to this day differently. The inner child exuberance of joy, gifts, and candy, the inner teenager and its tragic romantic conflict and angst, the inner prince that gets to court and woo the inner princess, or the inner matriarch and patriarch that can throw the whole damn thing out the window for that matter!

What do love, romance, and intimacy represent to these different aspects of you? What are the hurt, trauma, yearning, or ambivalence wanting you to feel? To express? Writing a letter to Love is a great way to access this relationship regardless of where you are at. It is a key that can open up doors to the tender parts of you that are awaiting your entry and open heart to feel them in it.

For parts of men, this may feel a bit too feminine, but I encourage you to take a moment to give it a try. If there is a feeling of resistance then maybe writing to that resistance can help grease the wheels.

What does Love mean to you, even if what comes out seems to counter and oppose? Digesting that with another open heart can offer a deeper reflection and pathway to where you ultimately want to go in the arena of romance even if it is just from you to you, as that is where it all begins.

For more on inner and outer sacred union and intimacy check out these videos from Jelelle and Raphael Awen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPVo1iZTYng&feature=share

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diPaOZFiPBM&feature=share

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations

Bridging Polarity In Service Of Love

We exist in a polarized dimension. It is not our essence to be fragmented into this and that, yet here we are. It was Divine choice and will to do so. To be so. When we lost the remembrance of that, it was like a babe being lost in the woods coming out of a dream. We saw and felt separateness in our most primal state. So we constructed, suppressed, and experimented with power in order to shore up the fear of that existential and sacred wound.

Timelines and worlds have been created and destroyed in this grand game of hide-and-seek. Seems almost a cruel joke on some level, yet the pain and suffering were the risks inherent in this desire to truly know and experience Love. The Divine has never been complacent to that fact in my heartfelt opinion.

So then what is the purpose of this trauma? This seemingly tragic consequence of the human condition. For those that have faced it heart-on, there is an awareness of this power of Love that goes beyond words and takes you into a dimension of reverence, strength, and awe that was unknown in Its singular state.

We are all a part of that Grand Choice if you truly believe we are a part of this Grand Design. The two cannot be separate, paradoxically enough. So in this way, we have a huge part in this experiment of experience. We feel. We ache. We cry. We scream. We choose. We surrender.

We become aware of this polarity inside as aspects and parts and we build bridges between them. We become aware of their stories, their experiences, their beliefs. From the wounded child/teenager to the fallen kings and queens of our multidimensional timelines. You are this kaleidoscopic tapestry of being that is the seed and vessel of the Cosmos. You are the lightship of leadership that can take us into the New.

This comes with a great price to parts of us that are seeking safety and/or control. There is pain to feel and responsibility to assume, but that is what leads to the greatest and deepest gift that lives within each of us. The power to feel and spread Love as far as the Soul can see.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Photo by Victorien Ameline on Unsplash

Meet Your Inner TeenagerGuided Meditation – DAY 18: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE AWEN (VIDEO)

 

DAY EIGHTEEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Meet Your Inner Teenager Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen

This is day eighteen of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, I introduce you to another important part of your inner family formed during this lifetime. Your Inner Teenager is the energy represented by the phase and stage after childhood and pre-adulthood…usually between 12 and 18 years old, although that can vary. Your Inner Teenager is often ‘stuck’ in their teenage bedroom with strong feelings of angst, depression, even suicidal feelings. Your soul was most likely coming through during this phase and there wasn’t a capacity and modeling for how to handle and digest that.

Instead of receiving initiation in all areas of life around relationships, sexuality, spirituality, passion purpose, etc., your inner teenager received most likely invalidation in these areas…and 3D-based conditioning that fed fears, dualities, and polarizations. Instead of a healthy phase of individuating from family, there is often push-pull, over attachment and other unhealthy dynamics experienced by our inner teens. Connecting with your inner teenager allows them to receive the initiation and individuation that they most need in order to mature in all areas of life.

In the meditation today, Yeshua and Magdalene join us to get permission from your Inner Protector to meet your Inner Teenager. You go to your teenage bedroom and meet them there. You feel what their world looks and feel like; what their joys and sorrows are; and begin to establish a relationship that leads to the opening out of much magic and love.

Thank you for joining me on this eighteenth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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Meet Your Dragon Guided Meditation – DAY 17: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE AWEN & KALAYNA COLIBRI (VIDEO)

DAY SEVENTEEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Meet Your Dragon Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen & Kalayna Colibri

This is day seventeen of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Colibri joins me again as we talk about Dragons, Unicorns, and other multidimensional BEings that serve as guides for us. We offer about how it is our Inner Child who opens out access to these BEings through the teleportation portal of the imagination. A wounded Inner Child that is fused to 3D frequencies has ‘shut down’ access to these magical BEings that are here to help with our ascension process.

In the meditation today, Kuan Yin and Archangel Michael go along with your Inner Protector and Inner Child on a journey to connect with these multidimensional BEings. You are invited to meet your Dragon or Unicorn or whatever Elemental BEing comes to you. You then fly around with them and receive whatever guidance and messages they wish to offer you!

Thank you for joining us on this seventeenth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

 

Inner Child Connection Guided Meditation – DAY 16: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE AWEN (VIDEO)

Intense Unsettledness, Unrest, and Uneasiness Feelings Coming UP To Be Felt And Loved

By Jelelle Awen

Intense unsettled feelings….unrest and uneasiness coming up. These are being catalyzed by the 12/12 to 12/22 SOULstice gateway, which feels to be a powerful one. The schumann/Gaia resonance and SOULar winds are spiking right now, along with a comet that came very close to Gaia yesterday. These energies are contributing to the feelings of uneasiness that may already BE in your emotional body. They are often the Inner Protector, who wants to maintain ‘control’ over life in some way and is struggling to trust the Ascension process. Struggling to trust your soul. Struggling to trust YOU as a growing 4D/5D energy.

This can go deeper too….and is for many souls. The deeper feelings that are emerging out of the previous shadow lands of self and soul can be suicidal, crazy making, and deep despair too. These can be SO challenging to hold space for as life itself feels untrustworthy….existence itself, and the Divine and Star Family feel VERY distant or not real.

I feel this SOULstice gateway is also pushing up this deeper layer of feelings as well. Feeling so often like not wanting to be here, in 3D, in this density, stems from your Star Seed child…..who never felt like they belonged here anyway. They feel disconnected from star family with the necessary veil of amnesia coming in so that they cannot remember the visits with them during your lifetime. Or, they ‘remember’ them as traumatic and fearful abduction experiences that remain undigested. Until you can connect with them directly (if your Protector allows it), their feelings of abandonment, loneliness, unworthiness…. can run very deep.

Also, the Protector/Gatekeeper can feel just ‘done’ with the whole process of Awakening….as challenging as it can be in moments to move from SUCH density of 3D polarized reality into the more porous frequencies of soul. Feeling the despairs/frustrations/exhaustion of this parts of you helps them feel supported, starting to collaborate with you, brings in new energy and focus on the ‘mission’ of awakening.

There is more here about parts/Metasoul aspects and how we feel them in our SoulFullHeart process: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

There can be an over focusing on the detoxification of the physical body as connected to these energies….yet I feel them mostly working on the emotional body level (as connected to our soul field too.) The body symptoms are so often manifestations of this deeper trauma that needs to be felt.

So much love is available from the Divine Feminine energies of Mother during this gateway, including a full moon on December 22, to provide a holding and support for all this feeling.

Please do ask for support and receive empowerment during this phase if you feel drawn to what we are offering. We are all available for 1:1 sessions over the holidays too. More information about sessions over zoom and in person in Victoria, BC here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Here is a mediation to connect with your Protector: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ciJIvrn0xA&t=1170s

Photo by Larm Rmah on Unsplash

Jelelle Awen is a Parts Work/Metasoul & Galactic Aspects/Sacred Union Teacher & Facilitator, and Ascension Guide. She is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life awakening/healing process and community. She has written four books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about galactic activation, bridging and ongoing individual/group sessions over zoom with her and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators with men and women, videos, books, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

 

Your Inner Child/Star Seed As The Seat Of Your Merkabah

By Jelelle Awen

Your light body vehicle is waiting for you. It is shining, glimmering, vibrating with energy, and pulsing with life. It is a reflection of YOUR life force and essence at a high frequency. In this now, our light bodies are ‘in the shop’ getting upgraded, getting ready for many multidimensional journeys to come.

The fuel for your Merkabah is LOVE. It is light. It is the joy, magic, and innocence that comes forward and through as you heal the trauma from and with your 3D Inner Child. This Inner Child transforms to your Star Seed through this conscious connection with you, revealing your Star Seed essence, as the experience of abductions (which were actually visits with your Star Family) come up and are healed.

Your Star Seed’s energy is what powers your Merkabah and their freed-up curiosity to FLY and to journey. Healing of your Inner Child and your Star Seed (abduction wounding/abandonment from Star Family) is not just therapy or a psychological practice….it is critical and KEY to the ascension process.

You BEcome your Merkabah as your emotional body unanchors from 3D reality through the healing of the aspects/parts/energies that still live and resonate there. The Inner Protector, Inner Punisher, Inner Mother/Father, Inner Teenager are the 3D parts that we identify as most anchored there. These parts remaining undifferentiated creates a ‘drag down’ on your frequency.

Your light vehicle looks and feels like what is right and best for you. There are no rules about what it looks like, specific forms and shapes that it needs to take. You may see and feel it as the usual sacred geometric form such as in the picture I shared. You may see it as a space ship. You may see it as a many petaled lotus flower.

It is as intimate as your fingernails, your hair, your skin. It is not actually outside of you, yet generated from WITHIN your higher heart especially and projected from there. The higher heart vibrates at this place to generate it with the more love that can be received and let in, the more parts of you can let in love, the faster it can then ‘spin’.

The places you journey….the galaxies, the dimensions, the timelines, all exist from INSIDE of you and originate from this place as well. They are states of consciousness. Your inner space program and process launches from this ground!

Aurora, my Star Seed child, is healing to 5D Crystalline Child essence and likes to take a seat on my lap in my pulsing, rotating Merkabah. There is a symbolic feeling in this of our connection to each other, Aurora and I, and all the healing we have done together over the years of her pains and traumas from abductions and before that my Inner Child and her experiences from my mostly painful 3D childhood-teenagehood.

I am BEcoming my Merkabah. It is becoming constructed and formed as my sacred humanity is arising. One part at a time becoming integrated and unified into the wholeness of my Arising ISness and I Amness. This is a beautiful process.

And, it awaits us ALL at whatever level and ways we can let it in!!

Here is more about connecting with your Star Seed child as a bridge to Star BEing contact: https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/preparing-for-contact-with…/

Here is more about parts/Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

And here is a guided meditation to meet your star family, Inner Child, and Inner Protector: https://youtu.be/ubrPcH09X6s

Jelelle Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
More about Star Seeds and the Inner Child healing and our process offered through sessions at the link above.