Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 7: Self Sufficiency As A Means To Disconnect From Our Own Needs

yeshuamoneymadness

That feeling of wanting to be self sufficiently happy is something very big sown into the collective, born there out of our historically deepest conceptions of ourselves and god, or God, where the fear recoil solution was and still is mostly to seek self sufficiency. In other words, to defeat this enemy called, ‘need.’ One of the big expressions of this is financial security. 

Wayne – Hey, Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Where are we off to today?

W – We’re supposed to be ending money madness. That feels like such a big task in the moment. I feel like I just want to veg out on something totally unrelated.

Y – Maybe you need a day to breathe and digest?

W – I was wondering about that too.

Y – No pressure on my end.

W – If you don’t feel urgent and I don’t feel urgent, isn’t something going to fall through the cracks?

Y – Desire and creativity arise from feeling all there is to feel. This is where I like to feel that there is all the time in the world. What else is time for?

W – So you’re saying to ‘feel into’ my lack of interest this morning…?

Y – Only if you want to……but yes.

W – When I feel into the disinterested feeling today, I feel I want more real connection with people. Now, those words are no sooner out of my mouth and I hear a voice saying to be grateful for the connection I have with Jillian and the small group of us in SoulFullHeart. Point taken, big time. I do. Then my feeling goes onto feeling how I want more connection for Soulfullheart to have with the world.

Y – What’s the feeling underneath that?

W – I, or part of me, feels isolated, it feels like. And that isn’t fun to feel. I feel how I am offering this writing with you from an island. An island that’s really good in some ways and has a down side in other ways.

Y – What if what you are feeling has a lot to do with something very large in the collective that isn’t being felt?

W – Please, help me out a bit?

Y – Feel into it and tell me what you feel.

W – Yes, I feel that having needs and being willing to own and feel those needs, in the way we’ve been discussing, prompts a recoil into myself kind of feeling. I don’t want to need anyone. I want to be self sufficient. ‘Self-sufficiently happy,’ whatever that may be. It’s a disconnect from needing, from feeling and from others.

Y – That feeling of wanting to be self sufficiently happy is something very big sown into the collective, born there out of our historically deepest conceptions of ourselves and god, or God, where the fear recoil solution was and still is mostly to seek self sufficiency. In other words, to defeat this enemy called, ‘need.’ One of the big expressions of this is financial security. But even ‘financial security’ is a lie, just ask the folks at the top with the most of it. Having all the money in the world would actually make it completely worthless, and serve only to heighten this fear of our own needs. There would be no one to trade with. Holding a big security of money isn’t as self sufficient as it looks at all. It relies on a very delicate cooperation around enough people not interfering with the agreement that having money is to ensure predictability and reliability.

W – Whoa, Yeshua, now you’re moving me from my disinterest into something that feels more alive. Like we’re walking down a trail and just came to a five way junction and all of the trails look inviting.

Y – I don’t mean to diminish your desire to veg out. Let’s take that desire along with us. Pick a trail my man, if you’re up for it.

W – Hmmm, I really like feeling secure, Yeshua. Feeling loved, feeling good, feeling confident that the things in life that I like the most I can find and have fun finding. I don’t like being with myself much when I’m afraid of not having the life and things I most deeply desire, when life feels constricted, narrow, and alone.

Y – Okay, I get that. Metaphysical question here: What if earth life is structured around both? By that I mean there is a familiarity of going without at times and a familiarity with having abundance at times. That range of familiarity is being healthily grounded in your own needs. Most of the current campaigns against ‘selfishness’ are really about trying to live outside of this inherent need basis of life. You are a self. You are selfish. Own it fully, and in owning it fully, that will lead you to true care and love for others. You cannot healthily connect with others without being healthily grounded in yourself and in your own needs. Revamping your money systems isn’t going to amount to a heap of horseshit with this old paradigm of self is evil. God help us.

W – ‘As you do unto others, so you do unto yourself.’

Y – Yeah, that was turned around into a do good command of ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you,’ but what you just said was the way I originally said it. I so felt this reality that we are all one. There is no separation between us at our deep and essential levels.

W – So, what does that say about part of me feeling isolated this morning?

Y – The entire world is aching on the edge of their sanity with having lived into the false picture of a separated self.

W – Why would part of me think that isolating some more would be the solution to that?

Y – Isolating is deadening. The purpose is to deaden one’s needs. This part of you has lived and cooperated in the world by keeping as self contained as possible, to afford the lowest level of needs.

W – Sounds like our current global austerity programs.

Y – It isn’t working for a single one of you, let alone the entire world. Something old is ending. It’s complete and done. What’s arising is a baptism into our true and genuine needs, the courage to live in them and from them, personally and globally.

W – You’re sort of saying that our needs are the map out of our current jungle. I get that. Jillian and I keep finding that our differences or tangles that arise, like a big one we had just yesterday, are always about a much deeper need that one or both of us are negotiating the courage to actually feel, and when we bring that to the surface, the conflict opens out back to love.

Y – THAT my man is currency of the heart.

W – I want to take another trail here.

Y – Go for it.

W – What about when I want to isolate because I find the energy of the current social fabric, or the person in front of me, so false, so invested in politeness over realness, disconnect over feeling real needs? SoulFullHeart rides this edge continually over isolating or transparently offering what we have to others.

Y – The process of culturing a garden of self love inside of yourself is reflected in all of your outer relationships. Ultimately, there is no separation between self and other. Feeling your distaste for what is currently so prevalent in the social fabric is what moves you, first inside yourself, and then out of yourself to bring what you uniquely have to bring, and how you want to bring it. That’s finding your niche market, isn’t it? That’s really all about growing in confidence that the good things in life that satisfy you most deeply can come to you, and will come to you, as you come to terms with the goodness of your own heart.

W – Yes, but….but what if I really don’t like the person in my face just now, and all I can feel is a ‘get me out of here?’

Y – This may take a few steps that I’m missing at the moment, but how about if you could feel the need in yourself at that moment that feels threatened of not getting met, then find a way to bring that need vulnerably and transparently to the person who’s up in your face, and see what that does to the situation.

W – I like that. But, damn, that takes a whole new courage.

Y – It’s what you do inside yourself, Wayne. Just give it a go outside.

W – Where did you get to be such a relationship expert?

Y – I’m experimenting and improving, hoping to get some things sorted out before I do come back.

W – Preparing for the second coming, huh?

Y – Thank you. We were getting a little too serious today.

W – You sure know how to tweak shit, though.

Y – It’s just my funnest fun. It’s what I do.

W – I’m out of gas for today…

Y – Or more like full up.

W – That’s it.

Y – See that, needs met, and then you have to wait for some new needs to arise around which to relate.

W – No needs, no relationship. And killing our needs is what jacks up the false illusion of separation, and leaves us feeling contracted in isolation, and the ache of which serves in turn to breed our deepest transparent relational courage. Which is exchange. Currency. Flow of goods. End of Austerity.

Y – Are you gonna stop or what, man?

W – Took this long to wake up.

Y – Takes what it takes.

W – I feel an appetite calling me just now.

Y – Okay, Talk to you soon.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 8: Unfelt Feelings And Refusal To Change As Reflected In Our Relationship To Money

yeshuamoneymadness

What’s killing so many people right now is not their dead end job, but rather their unwillingness to make a baby step of change and then find enough courage for another. And, yes, that will kill someone for sure. It’s the universe’s version of a mercy killing. Depression and anxiety, which are the bedrock of your current money systems, along with the host of other unfelt feelings that hold your relationship to money, are the result of refusal to change. It’s a built in deadness comfort. It’s moderating the degree one will be in life or not.

Yeshua – Whoa, Wayne. You’re awake today. What’s up?

Wayne – That’s what I need your help to find out. It’s not even 4 am and I can’t sleep any more.

Y – Plenty of time to sleep later. Cool. What’s rumbling through you? Tell me some, man.

W – It’s an intersection of a few things, I guess. I just sent a thank you note to a man who’s deeply into alternative currency who thanked me deeply for these dialogues. I’ve felt my words and heart go into our SoulFullHeart family and that is profound, no doubt, yet can be minimized somehow too, as it’s taken for granted as a new reality.

Y – Reality was meant to be taken for granted. 🙂

W – Until it’s not?

Y – Precisely. Because reality is never real.

W – All made up as we go.

Y – Just checking, you are awake. 🙂

W – I love that so much, Yeshua. Making up shit as we go. That’s my greatest answer to the folks who wonder if this conversation is real.

Y – Just ask them how they came to believe the conversation they are having with anyone is real.

W – I’m sure that would work with some folks and not with others.

Y – As it’s meant too. But none of it is less sacred. All of us doing journeys at different frequencies of density, deliberately forgetting so we can be re-membered into heart family, over and over again.

W – For a guy who has so much heart to share and give, you can sure be what folks would call ‘crude’ or ‘crass’ at times.

Y – That was a bit sudden to where we were just now.

W – Oh sorry, I was feeling the folks who would be tripping on what we have to offer them because it isn’t in a polite container.

Y – Now, just for the record. I don’t give a flying fuck.

W – Really?

Y – No, that’s not true. I was lying. Well, maybe not. What if both are true?

W – How so?

Y – When we conform to others’ expectations of us, we diminish our essence. Inhabiting a role though, instead of our essence is always less risky. There’s always plenty more roles to be had, but only one essence. We’re at ‘peak roles’ though now you could say, where they just don’t spend like they used to. The market is all dried up. Major death and rebirth for humanity. Where are we going with this, Wayne?

W – Not sure, sometimes I like to just let you wander and wonder and see where we end up.

Y – Oh, yeah, we were on offending some and delighting others. That’s built into the system. That’s relationality. And it happens whether you are more into your essence or a role play version of you. Roles are a deep thing actually and we never stop shedding them is my truth. And it’s only as deep heartfelt worth; worth that you know and feel comes in, that you can ever safely negotiate letting go of a role in the world. The real cool thing though is learning how to bring your delight or your offense in real time, with a real other, to find what’s real. If there’s only a pretentious ground of no conflict, all love and light shit, (fuck that makes me puke) then how the hell are we ever to get to the heaven on earth that our hearts tell us is true?

W – You’re bringing your offense right now.

Y – Totally, and if it pisses someone off royally, enough for them to confront me, then I’ve picked a really good fight. And if they will stay in the ring with me, I will open my heart humbly to the gift that they bring me. If not, I’m gonna try and pick another fight. We are dying for lack of a fight.

W – And this today is about money too?

Y – Money never lies. It tells our story. We inhabit a role for the money. That’s what commonly is called a ‘job’. Unemployment is a crisis of change whose time has simply come. Reality is meant to be a never ending ‘realization’ that what you figured was real, is opening out to new reality, throwing in complete question how you relate to both the old one and new arising one. Another security crisis.

W – Sometimes you get so metaphysical, I can’t quite track it all.

Y – Is that a compliment or a judgment?

W – Looking for a fight again, aren’t you?

Y – Wanna go a round?

W – No, I want you to say more if you will about getting out of our dead money tracks. That’s what’s killing so many people right now stuck in a dead end job.

Y – What’s killing so many people right now is not their dead end job, but rather their unwillingness to make a baby step of change and then find enough courage for another. And, yes, that will kill someone for sure. It’s the universe’s version of a mercy killing. Depression and anxiety, which are the bedrock of your current money systems, along with the host of other unfelt feelings that hold your relationship to money are the result of refusal to change. It’s a built in deadness comfort. It’s moderating the degree one will be in life or not. Being in life is change from the second you win the sperm race, man. Never ending change.

W – Crisis is only change trying to happen, I recall hearing a long ways back.

Y – Isn’t that cool when you stop and feel it? You win the sperm race and the prize is an egg that you get to penetrate, and all the rest of your sperm buddies cheer you on and then give their life for the moment, as you enter never ending change.

W – Yeah, okay, when you put it that way……

Y – Life is graphic, Wayne. It’s wet and slippery. It moves all of us. We are moving together. Money always follows the movements.

W – And I don’t need the whole outside world to change for my money reality to change. I really only need my internal money reality to change. Is that true?

Y – Because there is, at our core, no separation between any of us. When one changes, we all change. This is evidenced by our fear reaction when someone leaves the fold of normalcy. They’ve affected us at a deep level. The entire universe moves with you as you change.

W – That is so freakin’ amazing to me, Yeshua. I’m off to paint and drywall again today, something that has been around for a long time this life, but when I feel it, it’s constantly changing, and taking me somewhere new.

Y – Your days in everything are numbered.

W – ‘So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.’

Y – I still dig those Psalms too. Sometimes.

W – Yeah, I hear you. Kind of a push-pull isn’t it.

Y – Yeah, you gotta share your Jesus journey sometime soon. What was that all about?

W – I’m still figuring that out.

Y – Usually, you need to give what you have in order to get some more.

W – Now, there’s a new money concept.

Y – To get into the place where giving really is true having. Owning and possessing is all up for revamp too, you know. The moment you hang onto anything is the moment it begins to die. It’s true of a tomato, a mate, a faith or belief system, or money in the bank. Interest on money just isn’t interesting anymore, is it?

W – Interest on money just isn’t interesting…hmmm, you just don’t stop. I gotta pause you and us again today.

Y  – I wasn’t the only ampy one today.

W – Yeah, that’s true. Thank you for matching me. I needed that.

Y – Go on you, grand sperm race winner, claim your prize, live in change, live in your heart…

W – I’m gonna give it my best ‘shot!’

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 9: Shedding Money’s Cocoon Of Normalcy

yeshuamoneymadness

 You don’t need money to live. You need currency; you need flow; you need exchange. However, when you, from inside of your cocoon, create the felt reality that all of your currency, flow and exchange possibilities are centered around money, money will literally be a false god.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Hey, good morning, Wayne. It was a busy few days for you and a pause for us.

W – Yes, it was. Jillian, Christopher, Kathleen, and I dove into a 5 day drywall, paint and carpentry marathon to barter with our mechanic for vehicle repairs. It was demanding, but we did it, and did it well. We also managed to fit in the gym and sauna at the end of each day too.

Y – So what are you feeling today?

W – That’s where I need your help again, Yeshua. I was feeling when I woke up how I feel my own ‘normal.’ I feel some need for rest, some digesting too of the people’s energy and home that we worked for. I feel some money anxiety, not too intense at the moment, but it’s there. I feel some ‘to do’s’ that I want to get onto, and then I’m feeling into our 2 day group that starts tomorrow.

Y – Anything you are feeling underneath all of that?

W – Thanks for asking. I feel how my own ‘normal’ can hold me in a stasis. It becomes a feeling lens through which I look upon and interpret and feel my world. It seems to mute desire and magic and possibility to significant degree. And it’s hard to detect because it’s so, well…normal.

Y – So you’re wanting me to bail you out of your normal?

W – Basically. 🙂

Y – Well, you’ve come to the right man, Man.

W – Good.

Y – Humans are expert at one thing, if anything, and that’s using feeling and circumstance to create a cocoon of normalcy around themselves. The windows are tinted with feelings designed to mute the vast color array that is too much to take in. People say they seek happiness and want more of the good life, but what they are really doing is negotiating for a little ice cream treat that fits inside their cocoon. All that is a medication to keep the cocoon intact.

W – So you’re saying that I woke up into my constructed normal place…

Y – That’s what you said.

W – I did. Why do I do that?

Y – Because naked life is so potent and powerful that you can only take it in as you are ready and willing for more. Life respects these needs in some ways and totally pays them no mind in others. Life gives time to feel and let your wanter arise into choice, but when you are unable or unwilling to choose, life moves on. It’s the nature of life.

W – Which can either serve to form a thicker cocoon and fog around life being mean and unsafe, so I’ll reconstruct my numbness or it can, if I’m ready for it, invite me out into a deeper trust of change.

Y – Yes, like your resting and digesting today. That’s natural to cycle through a full range of emotions including needing to ‘veg out’, as they say. But the question is where does that take someone?

W – How does all this tie into money or currency?

Y – Money is one of the biggest constructs of this cocoon we’re talking about. That along with our relationships, which really amps up the money piece. Having currency is all about maintaining a normal. But currency and normalcy are opposites actually, and so it sets up crisis points as it was meant to.

W – Not sure if I’m tracking where you are going, but I like the smell of it.

Y – I’m not sure where I’m going either, but you and I are taking a walk into this forest that we’ve been unable to see for the trees, to see what we can see.

W – I like that.

Y – What do you see?

W – Well, I see that I was meant to feel loved. Now, a bunch of money can attempt to substitute for that. I sure do get panicky when money runs low or slow. But a bunch of money can sure put me in a fog of feeling secure, but not feeling loved necessarily.

Y – Life, love and the universe are full up with love, so much so, that it’s hard to look into that brightness without some form of sunglasses to manage it. The healthier you are, the more you are able to let it in. The unhealthier you are, the more you need to set up a victim’s cocoon picture and use either your store of money, or your lack of money as one big numbing device.

W – So you’re saying that feeling loved is the real gold, that we aren’t ready for much of the time, so we seek normalcy security type stuff as a substitute, and money works perfect for that?

Y – Do you agree?

W – I do, and yet this forest is still pretty hard to see for all the trees in the way. I mean, money has been such a central piece in my life. It feels like my life in some ways. Why would I put myself on such a treadmill? I know you said the piece about not being ready for love’s power…but why would anyone in their right mind come up with such a limiting, self-imposed prison?

Y – Because life, which you have been given, is so full of power: it breathes in, it breathes out, it never stops changing. Its appetites are fully satisfied only to become hungry again. Life itself is seeking to know itself through you.

W – So it wants me to take a few more risks and help it out some?

Y – Life wants you to feel that the single inhale you are enjoying in this second is a love gift to you. It’s a currency. You must, however, let it out in order to let in another. People, in their fear of not having breath for tomorrow, limit their breathing, or quite literally actually even stop breathing today, suicide being the ultimate form of this, when they feel the world from inside their false security constructed cocoons.

W – Can you say more about the tie between breath and money?

Y – Oxygen is a necessity for life. You can’t live without it. It’s what you run on. Do you notice how you don’t worry too much about oxygen?

W – Yeah, not like I do about money.

Y – You don’t need money to live, you need currency, you need flow, you need exchange. However, when you, from inside of your cocoon create the felt reality that all of your currency, flow and exchange possibilities are centered around money, money will literally be a false god.

W – …that I am forced to bow to and serve…

Y – True, yes, but only because you made it so. You created your own reality.

W – …by this pair of sunglasses I need to negotiate love’s brightness thing cocoon. Which raises the question, how could it be different?

Y – Pause for a moment, Wayne. This what I am telling you is hard to feel. We can’t find a solution unless we are willing to feel the depths of the dilemma. You are in a self made cocoon of normalcy that is limiting your experience of love and incarcerating your soul and heart to a socially acceptable and socially enforced false god called money, that in turn marshals your creativity and power in service of it, instead of love. And the crazy thing is on top of all this is that it is your self love that creates all of this.

W – …’Can’t serve god and mammon?’

Y – You can’t serve the love that you are, which is full of currency, and flow, and exchange, while your trust is in a construct that is used mainly to limit love in the earth. This is the forest that cannot be seen for the trees. Money has been used to remove you from a relationship of love and need and vulnerability with all of life. Feel for a moment, how a cut off from oxygen for a few minutes, not money, would be the death of you. For most, death is the ultimate popping of their normalcy cocoon. How this could all be different, to get to your question now is surrendering to life’s many and momentary and never ending invitations to change?

W – Surrender to, instead of resisting my utter and vulnerable dependance on love, that beckons me into change.

Y – What if money could instead be the liberator of hearts and souls instead of the great limiting force that it has become?

W – Wow, Yeshua, this conversation is tweaking a bunch of stuff inside of me. I feel like we are on a few tracks at once here.

Y – Yes. It all gets down to deep embedded beliefs, which are founded upon feelings, all related to both money and love that have shaped your world. The world you live and feel in, in all moments.

W – What I get in the moment is that it’s going to take us collectively living into a major reno on money to undo what we’ve done….I guess that would be a demo and then a reno…

Y – That’s happening as we speak. It can’t be stopped actually. You can live into your own personal life lessons as the collective goes through it’s own paces or you can try hard to ignore it, which makes for harder lessons no doubt, but ultimately all returns us to the love that we are, even if we can’t feel that to be true at the moment.

W – Whoa, so currency is love. It is flow. It is supply of my needs. My vulnerabilities and me being willing to feel them, to feel how much I need them, to feel my fear of not having them, how much I want love is what frees up something and sets change in motion?

Y – These are the questions we are about to be exploring together now. The big question that is being lived into is about the nature of love and the nature of the universe, and the nature of the metaverse that houses our universe, all one big love bubble.

W – But I thought we said bubbles were unhealthy?

Y – Bubbles are necessary vehicles to breathe in and out of to create movement, and to facilitate change. Hatred and war are all played out on love’s stage. Scarcity in the current money system needed its time to come to the end of its natural life cycle. Breathe in. Breathe out. Beginnings, endings. Death and rebirth. All inside of love.

W – We went a bit longer today, Yeshua. I missed our connection.

Y – See, there’s an example. You miss what you are in need of. That’s a whole lot different from feeling guilt or shame for not doing what you suppose you should be doing. This new world we are talking about runs on desire and creativity and divine play. Should, and duty and obligation are energies from the old world that were sacred then to it’s functioning, but no longer.

W – Part of me is judging our dialogue as lacking some coherency, or linearity today. I just needed to out that.

Y – Coherency and linearity are up for redefining too. Let people feel this dialogue instead of trying to mentally grasp it it. Feel with the heart, don’t grasp with the mind. All the love and money questing is contained in that.

W – You are amazing, Yeshua. It’s fun taking you in like oxygen.

Y – You’re pretty cool too. Being an ascended teacher would be boring if it wasn’t for questers like you.

W – I’m out of questions for today though.

Y – I was wondering when you’d quit.

W – I know I’ll have a bunch of new ones tomorrow though.

Y – Good, I’ll see about getting ready for you!

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 10: Harming Others As A Way to Self Gain is Never True Gain

yeshuamoneymadness

Harming others as a way to self gain is never and can never be a true gain. One of the party’s genuine needs were not met in the exchange, and so what one perceived as a gain in the moment proves to be not backed by anything ‘real’ or truly relational.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Good Morning, Wayne.

W – I open my heart to our connection, to you, to myself.

Y – As do I.

W – That was me needing a few words of intention and ceremony to enter in.

Y – Choice, intention, awareness, and ceremony if need be, born in the heart and the imagination, is what literally makes the world go around.

W – You always tweak me when you use that word, ‘literally.’

Y – Yes, because you take it so literally.

W – Now, you’re messing with me. And I’m still waking up.

Y – I know you have parts of you who wonder where you even get our conversation from. I know you have parts of you who fear the judgment of others who’d write it off as, ‘kooky’.

W – I do, and yet mostly I trust it. I guess both are true at times.

Y – I can tell you where you get it from if you’d like me to.

W – I’d love you to.

Y – You get it from the your own self permission. These are the authorized writings of Wayne and Yeshua, authorized by Wayne.

W – Sounds heady.

Y – Not really…..when you feel it. Constantine’s version of scripture was the real heady one. Scripture by external authorization and decree that changed the course of history big time. What we’re doing is the internal version and anyone who wants to can do the same thing. Scripture by internal permission and imagination. Way more fun, powerful, and without all the bloodshed.

W – But, but, but. people would say, ‘You just made that up. You’re not really talking with Yeshua.’

Y – I could say the same thing about any conversation that you have with anyone. Of course it’s ‘made up.’ In fact, you obscure the making up of it to yourselves in such a way that you no longer feel the profoundness of every exchange of conversation. What you call ‘real’ or ‘literal’ is a dumbed down version of life designed (in the imagination no less) to manage the pace and rate at which you can let in wonder and creation and change.

W – I’ve always craved really great conversations. In my past, these conversations felt so random sometimes, but so amazing when they happened. Something aligned in me and in the other person, and a whole new world arose. I would try and find the magic button to make that happen again, but it usually eluded me.

Y – So you resorted to talking to me instead.

W – Well, yes, and along with others too. My odds have improved a lot since then. Jillian and I can talk for three hours straight at times still, and that’s five years into this marriage, which we are celebrating this week. Christopher and I are getting good at it too.

Y – Whoa, that is so cool, Wayne. Relationality. There’s another word for currency.

W – Like flow and exchange.

Y – And feeling is king in all of this. That’s what’s been off the radar or tried to be kept off the radar. Exchange is always born in trust. Trust is a feeling. It is all about the heart. The mind computes the logistics, but it’s the heart that leads. Trust is based on knowing and feeling someone. Knowing and feeling is dependent on the person being transparent to adequate degree to foster that trust. That’s all relationality.

W – And it’s relating around needs and desires.

Y – And fears and vulnerabilities too. You have some of what you need, but you never have all of what you need. This leaves you vulnerable. It is your vulnerability that leads you to relationality and trust.

W – I get that. Even corruption as a means of exchange and flow utilizes trust and human vulnerability to make it go around. Wow…..corruption functions because of genuine human need???

Y – Sure it does. It’s heavy on the fear side of the equation. It uses fear actually to not feel the reality that, ‘what you do unto others you do unto yourself.’ Harming others as a way to self gain is never and can never be a true gain. One of the party’s genuine needs were not met in the exchange, and so what one perceived as a gain in the moment proves to be not backed by anything ‘real’ or truly relational.

W – Where the perceived windfall can’t actually meet any genuine needs for the person because it didn’t on the other end of the exchange…

Y – Bingo. That’s flow. That’s current.

W – Whoa, there’s a new concept. If it turns sour or was harmful on the others’ end of the deal, then I can’t actually get my own genuine needs met either. But I still may be able to boast a great profit.

Y – And while that profit picture still has currency because there is enough fear and scarcity to back it, itwill still spend or exchange or impress others, but it’s ultimately rotten.

W – Another whoa, are you saying that we are running out of fear and scarcity?

Y – I so hope to god we are, my man. We are sure using it up like there’s no tomorrow. It’s what the current dominant system runs on.

W – Whoa, I get that. Leaders in the false system need to whip up fresh batches of fear and scarcity or the whole thing comes down.

Y – And they crap their drawers when one person consciously digests and feels their fear, instead of following its drumbeat.

W – Because when one changes, we all change.

Y – I feel that to be true, or more truer than anything we’ve understood until now. If we are in fact on a circular journey back to love, then that makes sense. And wouldn’t it be just like love to afford us a process and participation and choice instead of a decree and an imposition?

W – Okay, I feel my practical side calling me just now.

Y – You saying I’m not practical?

W – No hold on, maybe you’re in fact too practical. What I mean is, my head needs some help about how to embrace this from the collective swamp that I’ve been participating in and some guidance for how to walk out of the swamp.

Y – Okay. Let’s feel that some. That’s step one. Feel. Feel with your heart. I’m talking about the day you are entering into. You are going to be exchanging and in flow situations whether you greet someone, buy something, whatever you do that involves an ‘other.’ And of course, I can’t say this one enough, feel how you yourself are made up of ‘others’ or parts. When a part of you gains by harming another part of you, this is not a gain at all. Not for you, not for the harming part, not for the harmed part. ‘What you do unto parts of yourselves, you do unto others.’ Wayne, this is way more feeling-based than it is step-by-step-based. Let in your heart and the steps will come, and I mean very grounded, practical and transparent and accountable steps.

W – Can you say more about what it looks like though in any given moment?

Y – I can try.

W – Please.

Y – Okay, so you’ve engaged an ‘other.’ Whether inside of you or outside of you. It’s called a transaction. Needs, desires, fears, and vulnerabilities are dancing on both sides of the transaction, whether they are being consciously felt or not. See if you can feel your deeper needs underneath the exchange and see if you can back the currency with your heart of gold, both for yourself and for the other. See if you can feel how integrative the self love is that takes in and gives out in abundance. Can you name your deeper needs to yourself and to the other adequately to host an abundance based exchange of value?

W – So how does that look at the grocery store for instance?

Y – I don’t know if I want to dumb this down right now. I’m asking you to feel. I’m asking those reading to feel. Go in through the heart door. Let the mind follow instead of lead. Your heart will give you grounded step by step guidance. Not someone else’s decree. You leave the swamp the same way you entered, by living your way out. Each felt choice where you raise the frequency to a higher frequency of love in any transaction gives birth to the next choice and transaction. String all the transactions together and you have significant change. The measurable change is not one bit more sacred than any one of the single multitude of steps it took to create that change. The universe is infinitely patient, even when it doesn’t look like it is.

W – I’m getting that the making sense of all of this that you are offering can only come into me deeper as I walk it out. I can’t know what it will look like in the grocery store or anywhere else but through experiencing it. Life is way more sacred than knowledge or knowing. Life always changes what we claim to know. And I get too that the fear-based frequencies that I have been steeped in by my participation in the fear-based system have created a resonance factor that I can only thin out, that sometimes melts, sometimes falls away in chunks as it makes way for abundance and love-based transactions.

Y – Feels like our pause point there, Wayne.

W – You’re telling me, I don’t know when to stop sometimes.

Y – Maniac.

W – Thank you for the compliment. 🙂

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 11: Money As A University In Falseness

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The money of anonymity, which is what your fiat currencies are, are designed that way. They are a university in falseness. You don’t need to know the person or entity you are transacting with because the money is sacred over knowing and feeling the real intentions of the person, or their real needs. This is the currency of not being known. Incognito. I don’t ever care to need or know you. I’ve paid you, or, you need to pay me, end of story. It fundamentally denies our interconnectedness and our being. I’d say that’s pretty false to what a human being is.

Wayne – Good Morning again, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Good Morning, Wayne, what’s up? I can always tell when something is up.

W – I was feeling how our money that we claim makes the world go around actually is what makes a very false world go around…

Y – Now, I know that hasn’t dawned on you just now. What’s pressing you about it now?

W – I’m feeling that how we bow and serve our money needs in the world is like entering a university and getting a degree in being a false self.

Y – Now, that’s a strong statement. I think the readers are going to need a little more convincing to jump on board with that one…

W – If that’s the worthy goal here…

Y – Keep going, I’m liking the sound of this.

W – Well, for someone who is not feeling or wrestling with any sense of falseness in themselves around their participation in the money world, I don’t really want the task of convincing them.

Y – So then what’s the point of publishing this dialogue?

W – You’re playing dumb right now, aren’t you?

Y – Me? … Okay, I’m just questing with the questions, Wayne. Probing, seeking, to get to the bottom of things.

W – Actually Yeshua, you’re naming a push-pull inside of me. I like to patiently teach for a while and then when I feel people’s resistance and disinterest to their own healing, especially the folks who claim to want healing, I’d like to scream. People had you sized up for being a patient teacher back in your day, but then again, you could be just plain confrontive of people too. I’m at a point of needing some help. I know this ties into money too.

Y – What if you’ve just come up against a layer of your own falseness?

W – See what I mean about you being confrontive?

Y – Confrontive, yes, but not mean.

W – Thank you. I feel that. I do feel my participation in the realm of earning a living as a painter has fostered in me a politeness, a reasonableness, a trustworthiness, and a functionality picture that was designed to work, more than it was to bring my honest feelings to the situation. It wasn’t about being transparent. It was about being liked and gaining the advantage, and depositing the check. And, yes, that feels like a layer of falseness to me today that I’m getting really close to being done with.

Y – The money of anonymity, which is what your fiat currencies are, are designed that way. They are a university in falseness. You don’t need to know the person or entity you are transacting with because the money is sacred over knowing and feeling the real intentions of the person, or their real needs. This is the currency of not being known. Incognito. I don’t ever care to need or know you. I’ve paid you, or, you need to pay me, end of story. It fundamentally denies our interconnectedness and our being. I’d say that’s pretty false to what a human being is.

W – Well, I agree, but what if I bring some deeper sentiments to the exchange, some more care and love?

Y – That’s what made this stinking system bearable for as long as it has, but it still stinks, and it still is at root for most people’s falseness in the world.

W – Fiat Currency is at root for most people’s falseness in the world…

Y – That’s what I said. Your money system breeds falseness.

W – What is the falseness we are referring to?

Y – You tell me.

W – I’d say it has to do with the acceptable form of lying we are given to every day in our society where we conceal what we are really feeling or needing in any given situation and offer some other face on the situation.

Y – And why would anyone do such a thing?

W – Because they are convinced that is the way to get their needs met.

Y – And how is it working?

W – Well, it was working sort of fine, but only while we kept much deeper needs of ours off of our radar. The need to be real. The need to offer our deepest gifts in the world and be in exchange for that. The need to be human instead of a cog in a false system that enriches others with a false enrichment at the expense of ourselves and the planet. It’s a big subconscious shit pile that I hope to God is nearing the end of its life cycle.

Y – I love you.

W – Why?

Y – For lots of reasons, but in this moment. I love you for calling a spade a spade.

W – Thank you.

Y – See that. We exchanged some truth. Real needs were met, and we both were added to, not taken away from.

W – I like that. I’d like to get on with more of that in my money dealings world.

Y  – Was that a request for advice?

W – Yes.

Y – Why didn’t you just ask?

W – Sometimes you don’t like questions blocking feeling.

Y – That was yesterday. Today, I don’t like the lack of questions blocking feeling.

W – Good, yes, I’d love some advice. I’ve got some practical learning to do in this domain that feels like it’s gonna get real tense if I don’t.

Y – Okay, so here’s my advice. Take whatever situation involving money, or an exchange of currency of any kind, it could be an exchange of words, and feel where you feel a fear pressure to hide what you are really wanting or needing in the exchange. See if you can pause the exchange in real time long enough to bring your truth, quandary or question or need into the picture, into the decision, into the exchange. This raises the frequency big time to the exchange and invites the other involved to meet you there, to transact with you on that level.

W – And what if they can’t find their own courage to participate in the transparency?

Y – Well, you have still raised your frequency from fear to abundance and that by itself is huge. You haven’t harmed or diminished yourself by how you approached the transaction. Remember, any harm being done to another person always involves harm to yourself. But, what you may find, and this is cool to watch, is that your courage and its overflow can spark a courage response in them to follow your lead, if they’re ready for that. They’re going to need to do their own homework to follow that through ultimately, but they can get a boost from you to get them started.

W – You should write an advice column.

Y – How’s this landing in you?

W – It feels really big inside of me in one way, and a formidable challenge, and yet it might just be a natural not so big next step too. One of those ‘both are true’ situations. When I pretend or conceal my truth in some way that has a basis in fear, I pave over some genuine need in that moment and feel diminished and malnourished as a result. I didn’t actually get what I really needed. I kept some of my most basic needs out of the picture, like my need to not hide.

Y – Can you imagine the world you’ll create going forward just test driving this more and more?

W – More steps out of the jungle.

Y – Yes and so much more. You’d move from earning a dying to earning a real living. And this living wouldn’t be limited to your survival needs of shelter and food, but your thrival needs of being seen and truly seeing others.

W – And the earning wouldn’t be work, but energized play.

Y – Totally.

W – You really think my food and shelter needs can get met this way? Part of me still finds this unbelievable.

Y – Really?

W – Well, it must be, Yeshua, or I wouldn’t be struggling with this lesson…

Y – Fair enough, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Trusting abundance is one of those never graduating classes. It’s infinite learning. All you can do is work on letting it in more and more.

W – That’s what’s up for me today. Thanks again, Yeshua.

Y – You’re always welcome.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 12: The Currency Of Transparent Truthtelling

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Money as most know it today is coined to deaden the human hearts’ capacity to both take in abundance as well as give it out. This transparency of truth telling in all interactions is sourced in the world where the false split between spirit and matter is no longer holding sway. The currency that you are issuing is both backed by and the expression of this new sovereign nation that you are citizen of, called YOU.

Wayne – Today I feel eager to talk, Yeshua. Not sure why, you must have something good up your sleeve.

Yeshua – Maybe it’s you that has something good up your sleeve and I’m just going to take it in and rest today?

W – What I get that’s cool is that we need each other to alchemize the conversation and heart space to get to something we otherwise couldn’t.

Y – We are a bit codependent that way, aren’t we?

W – More like co-independent, I’d call it, or maybe we could call it coin-dependent to make up another world…funny, I meant to say ‘word’ just now and ‘world’ showed up.

Y – Where you going, man? Not makin’ much sense …co-independent world?

W – Not sure either, Yeshua. I’m just free associating a bit here, because I can. This is my writing. It is my offering. It’s my calling. Readers can take it or leave it. They can close their browser the same way they opened it.

Y – Gotta offend some folks if you ever hope to help any folks, for sure. This deal of being liked in order to gain influence is the phoniest deal going right now on the planet. It’s reaching epic proportions on the world superpower stage. Weakness can only masquerade as power for so long as it is diminished in every transaction it undertakes.

W – I’m at such a turning point in my own heart and life, Yeshua. I know you know that. Thanks for pressing the issue. I’ve learned how to express power in the written word, even the spoken word, but where I’ve had the bigger struggle is face to face. I’ve tended towards efforting or maintaining people liking me.

Y – Why do you suspect you’ve done that?

W – Well, from a pure needs analysis, I know I want to be liked and loved like anyone else. My wounding just has this particular way of going about it. But from a heart and calling sense, I feel my soul has been wrestling through some issues around doing no harm with the power I’ve been afraid to manifest in my life, but that I know is there…..waiting.

Y – Without the risk of offending another person, there is only withholding, falsity and impotence. This is the alchemy of true conversation that mutually converts both. Without the transparency, it’s rendered impotent.

W – Unconverted and away from God…

Y – Hidden away from the god that you are, from the intimacy that god seeks with you and through you, and hides you from being the god you in fact are to and with others. Counterfeit. Parading as something less that you are.

W – We’re onto something here that though we haven’t directly mentioned money or currency yet today, it is what we’re talking about.

Y – Yes. We’re talking about a current between two that can either be modulated down to impotence or a much more powerful exchange where neither is left unchanged. Money as most know it today is coined to deaden the human hearts’ capacity to both take in abundance as well as give it out. This transparency of truth telling in all interactions is sourced in the world where the false split between spirit and matter is no longer holding sway. The currency that you are issuing is both backed by and the expression of this new sovereign nation that you are a citizen of, called YOU.

W – That I am being re-membered back into…

Y – In every exchange, in every moment, you to you, you to other, you to your body, you to your planet. It’s all one. No counterfeiting going on here. You so need to take this new reality for a spin. It will solve and answer every quandary your soul has struggled with, Wayne, about being in your full power and that likeability thing.

W – I might be liked beyond my wildest dreams.

Y – It’s worked that way with you and Jillian. The universe has given you one big nudge of confidence that it’s betting on you to take to the max.

W – Pretty good problem to be stuck with, really, and yet it can be a hell too at times, to let go into, to find the vulnerability needed to find our next openings. But all so very worth the struggle.

Y – The fruits of intimacy and the fruits of finding every barrier inside of you to love, is a universe apart from what most people call unconditional love…that redressed bandied about whore. Of course real love has conditions. I am having this conversation with you out of the real kind of love where my needs being met are conditional to me participating. Where did we ever think we could exclude our self interest?

W – Only in that universe where the self is bad and where self is to be diminished by spiritual practice.

Y – And where you need to add sin to sin to hide the falsity of it all. How money works and doesn’t work is where this universal love lesson is being played out, personally and globally.

W – So then, if I’m not hiding the power of my real truth, and I’ve given up on being liked over being real, and I add to that letting go of pretending that I am unconditionally loving…I am broadcasting in a very different frequency, which is my bedrock currency…

Y – …which will have a huge affect on how you find food and shelter and what you want and desire. You enter the domain where money is then your recreation.

W – Money as fun, and creation…Yeshua, this is so far removed from the fear domains, that I get I can only take in as I walk into it more and more. I need to walk into it to feel the heart and sense of it, to let it in.

Y – This is the coin of the new world, Wayne. It spends in entirely new and powerful ways, where neither is diminished in transaction, where abundance is let in, fostered and responded to.

W – You’ve got me full up. I know when to pull up to the table and when I’m full…

Y – No room for dessert?

W – Whad’ya mean?

Y – The dessert is just that….what you deserve as the sacred being you are, in real time, in life, in transaction, go find room to let that in. 🙂

W – And give that out.

Y – I like it, I love it, I want some more of it.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 13: Spending From Your Existential Trust Account

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Deep existential trust is coming to know and feel your well being, your wealth, your worth, that your investments are safe, that you will never and can never be outside of being held in this trust.

Wayne – Good Morning again, Yeshua. I’m curious where we might go today.

Yeshua – You know, Wayne, most days I don’t know either until we do. It takes two to channel. My sense is we’ll keep going until we feel it’s complete, for now at least.

W – I like your senses. 🙂

Y – Thank you. Any sense of where we might go today?

W – I am feeling something this morning about people taking in our words and writing deeply and them feeling despair around the gap between what we’re discussing and where they’re at.

Y – When you say that, Wayne, I get two things: one is a feeling of an old caretaking vibe in you, where you made it your job to help people like a nice Christian pastor would and then I also get your ache to have people join you in this new reality. Does that feel accurate?

W – There you go with those senses again. Yes, that pretty much captures it.

Y – Well, my ‘sense’ is this….People need their despair, often times to be left alone in it, to bake in it. Despair is what eventually moves them. Caretaking nice guys come along and seek to get ahead by helping people bleed the pressure for people of their very alchemical despair with some nice solutions. Christianity fits real well in that, so does most all of what’s called, ‘spirituality’ today. How are people to get any leverage on their soul’s life lessons when nice guys come along and offer them a little relief?

W – But how does that fit with our energy in sharing these downloads we’ve been doing together?

Y – This stuff goes to whom it’s been given to…. to those with ears ready to hear. They’ve earned their way here, over plenty more than just this life.

W – So then, how’s this not an elite and special chosen one’s game?

Y – Holding your worth, your real worth, doesn’t need any glamour or public recognition to make it real. Glamour and public recognition is usually a sign that it’s been corrupted into a self unworthiness game. Real worth just is, and real worth is imputed and conveyed upon the bearer by the one willing to pay. You paid your way into this. You earned it. You are deserving of it. It’s yours and no one can take it away.

W – If I contrast your energy just now with my question, I get how my elite question is usually a defensive part of us making a case for staying stuck because it is afraid of inhabiting our real power.

Y – The collective is full of endeared values and beliefs that are warming blankets to staying stuck. You share in the collective energy. It holds you in your despair until you are ready to launch your marked journey out of it.

W – With a rocket ship strapped to your ass, it feels like.

Y – Well, it’s back pressured, no doubt. These are soul lessons you’ve been aching to pop for a long time. It’s crazy, the pace of it, no doubt, and yet there’s grace to walk out the steps of it too. Your soul and the divine co-create this stuff while you thought you were just sleeping.

W – There’s so much autonomous power in our essence, I’m feeling. It doesn’t feel real at all to the nice guy who goes about swapping niceties, or the guy who bullshits at the bar swapping densities.

Y – And Wayne….this is the bedrock of currency in your life…deeper and deeper coming to terms with your power, coming to terms with your LIFE, coming to terms with your worth, your essence and your despair…all of it…that makes changes to what you do for money, how you draw money. Poverty and abundance are both of the heart. Both get their permission and backing from the heart. They are both a made up agreement between you and you.

W – Okay, now we’re tweaking some stuff again.

Y – What’s tweaking in you?

W – This is a whole new world, Yeshua. Most folks aren’t interested in that. They just want a fix for the one they’ve got.

Y – And, my god, don’t spend your life giving them a little pill to pop to help them manage. Affording them relief from symptoms that they are in fact choosing is interfering with their autonomy and power. Let the dead bury the dead. You go on into the life you have chosen. Live it. breathe it. Hold it like the king you are. Make no apology, Wayne. Love ‘em and leave ‘em.

W – I don’t feel you saying that lightly.

Y – And you know this if anyone does, Wayne. Truly loving and leaving someone because of shifting values is a respect for them and you that goes far deeper and takes way more heart to bear. It recognizes that your transactions and exchanges are complete on one level and now move to a different level. You can never really separate from anyone, on another level, as you are all connected, but you can and must choose how, when, and why you interact with anyone. You get to do this because of your interconnectedness with all things. Your life and relationships are a currency. It is always changing to express what is moving or current in you.

W – In fact, on a soul level, staying connected with someone when you are in fact complete with them is to actually be in a mutual harm pact with them.

Y – All wired up around unfelt existential terror that hasn’t been digested yet.

W – Sometimes, I don’t know whether to ask you to stop or keep going…

Y – I don’t need or want a moderator.

W – And I want to host the people’s interest reading this.

Y – Feel into what’s your job here, Wayne. People to whom this is given will have no problem receiving it. People to whom it is not given won’t likely have even found this writing or made their way this far. This is real currency….finding people who like the color of your cash. Your currency will not spend with everyone and it isn’t meant to. It comes from a different world. It flows among its own members.

W – And how does it effectively draw new members?

Y – It does that powerfully and effortlessly when you are ready to be you and not some half version of you, stuck between worlds, being nice, relateable and relevant.

W – Yeshua, I am so wanting this old structure in me to let go.

Y – Then get ready for the shift because LIFE is wanting to bring it to you. Your soul’s despair is moving from a phase where it was used to keep you small while that was what you needed and choose, to a phase where your despair is healing into a trust allowing you now to both experience and lead deep soul trust.

W – Wow, trust…..the stuff money and currency is made of…

Y – Deep existential trust is coming to know and feel your well being, your wealth, your worth, that your investments are safe, that you will never and can never be outside of being held in this trust.

W – Write a few checks on that account, huh?

Y – And see how they spend in heart and soul transactability in everyday interactions with people and money. Your everyday choices are always expressions of this. They have a one-to-one correlation with what’s true on your inside.

W – You know, Yeshua, I think a lot more folks might be looking for a radical new world than the one we’ve built so far. This one seems to be coming apart at the seams like there’s no tomorrow.

Y – The new world is emerging, Wayne, and you’ve just been ready to ride on the wave.

W – Thanks for helping me with your intensity around not shrinking back…

Y – You’ve come to far to go back, Wayne.

W – You’re right, I have. 🙂

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 14: Joining The Wild Cult Of The Life You Haven’t Yet Known

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Feeling something as something you need to keep up with, as if it depends on you to make happen, is just a common form of resistance, making the case to justify keeping things the same. It’s joining the wild cult of the life you haven’t yet known and leaving the tame cult of safe predictability and calibrated boredom and managed deadness.

Taming that wild is about managing my fears without knowing my tears. I am as unknowable as the divine, both aching to partner in never ending discovery.

Wayne – You’re a lot to keep up with, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Am I going too fast?

W – That’s hard to say actually. I’ve been a maniac for growth and learning this life, but when I hang with you, it goes kind of wild….on overdrive.

Y – Wild, I like that word…

W – Yeah, it’s like there’s this background feeling of not knowing where the controls are or being able to predict what’s coming next. I can feel a part of mine’s life navigation system on a bit of a reboot, …again.

Y – I like what you’ve said about ‘manageable nervous breakdowns.’ Is this one of those?

W – When I take that in mentally, and feel all we’ve been discussing around money and our security and currency in the world, it so gets to the bedrock of our being. Sometimes it rumbles, sometimes melts, and it eventually causes collapses in our way of being in the world.

Y – And it always aligns with real life relationships and situations. That’s the way it gets grounded. People who didn’t think they had much relationship with synchronicity always get tickled with the ‘you can’t make this shit up’ experiences that start picking up in their lives.

W – I love that. I love seeing it in myself and witnessing it unfolding for others. It makes me feel less crazy.

Y – Everyone’s life is this really cool story, wanting to unfold, but the main character always has a say in the rate and pace of the unfolding. Most people though are so deep in their state of half-life that they aren’t even ready to begin to accept that about their lives.

W – So their lives are…

Y – …a carefully managed set of knowns carefully held in place to keep life from moving in its fuller ranges. Tamed.

W- That’s a lot of care…

Y – And it’s a losing battle ultimately, no matter how well heeled it looks. Life is by nature wild and spring loaded to bring us our growth, again and again and again.

W – What is it, Yeshua, that creates that significant move for people to change the trajectory of their lives…….where they move from resisting life to letting in their bounty?

Y – That’s such a big question, Wayne. I wonder about it too. I like the space the question itself creates in me, because I ask how I may be right now tripping on some aspect of widening life. And if life is ever widening, then I am in the same boat as everyone. The only thing I can claim is that I’ve done a few more rounds. But for most people, well, really for all of us, I’d say it has to do with simply being done with a phase of learning. Something seems to pop out of no where. It really is unstoppable at this point because the soul has negotiated all the resistances around it. It’s what you’ve been going through personally and globally too. Did that answer your question?

W – Not really…

Y – Good, then my answer didn’t diminish or satisfy the question. Why don’t you share an example or two from your own life…quester?

W – Why do you want me to share?

Y – Because I feel you need to.

W – Why?

Y – Because, Mr. staller, you can hide your light behind our magical conversation and wait around for something, which ends up being a resistance to your own bigness, pausing for more favorable weather.

W – Okay. I’ll try to do this without that hiding tone. I feel some reaction about storytelling as I set out, that overindulging thing that bores people.

Y – That energy comes from where people haven’t been able to feel themselves and are asking to be felt without being direct about it. That isn’t you, my friend.

W – Okay. Here goes. My life has been the most surprising turn of events since just over 8 years ago, when I made what appeared to be an out of the blue shift. I told my wife of 23 years that I wasn’t willing to remain in our bond. I told my astonished Christian pastor who came shortly to visit that I no longer held Jesus as my personal saviour. I told my best friend whose mother died that same week that I wanted to end the false aspects of our connection, and that I wouldn’t be attending the funeral. I was so done with something, an entire lifetime of investment, and really, in many ways, I was surprised more than anyone in my life. Life gave me a definite going on place at the same time and I was travelling once a month for a ten hour drive to what only looked like I’d joined some cult. And of course, I’d done just that in another way. I switched cults. Cults are what we sign up for everyday and just aren’t willing to admit. Three years later, the leader of that cult, who I esteemed more than any man on the planet, sent me packing. I managed to rob the vault just before I left though, and taunted him with it too. Jillian and I connected. Another huge soul journey place of moving on. It took a series of clearing the decks, being in the ‘emptiness,’ and letting life again move me, move me through my wounding. One of my biggest achievements in this life is being fluid with my own tears. I went through deep phases of deep tears. They weren’t victim’s tears of powerlessness, but transformative tears of feeling my real pains and layer after layer of false ways of relating in life letting go. I felt the pains of every part of me that naturally came up for me. I was finally big enough to feel. This all of course was held by continuing to make emotionally conscious choices in all of my relationships in life, even so far as not being a part of my two daughters’ weddings, or even in their lives at present. I guess you could say that my currency doesn’t flow between us, at least not transactionally right now. I know my heart and soul has deep love for them and feels at rest and peace with what, to most, feels like a completely crazy choice, given the good man and exemplary father that I was. Many times, Yeshua, it was simply finding the courage to say no to what I knew I wasn’t. That wasn’t slamming and locking a door to relationships, it was a new boundary, along with a door, yes, but with an invitation and an unlocked door is how I’d say it. I left the cult of unconditional love and entered the one of conditional love. All you need to be in my life is to be curious about me and willing to see me for who I am now, and then we can find our way whatever that way may be. How’d I do?

Y – That was a pretty good run, Wayne. I so feel and honor every part of you that you’ve felt through deep tears. There’s an undeniable substance to that, a power, a fwump in the third and fourth chakra that is undeniable. I get why you’d have some difficulty figuring where to point that loaded heart shotgun. Remember when I said that piece about not hiding your light under a bushel basket or that a city on a hill cannot be hid?

W – Yeah, I sure do…

Y – That’s the ‘a lot to keep up with’ feeling you’re going through at the moment. All you need to do is find new permission, willingness. You don’t need to keep up with anything or make anything happen. Feeling something as something you need to keep up with, as if it depends on you to make happen, is just a common form of resistance, making the case to justify keeping things the same. It’s joining the wild cult of the life you haven’t yet known and leaving the tame cult of safe predictability and calibrated boredom, and managed deadness.

W – Hehehe, so I can either manage my nervous breakdowns or manage my deadness?

Y – What would you say about that?

W – This gets again to the bedrock currency of my life. My natural state is wild. Taming that wild is about managing my fears without knowing my tears. I am as unknowable as the divine, both aching to partner in never ending discovery. I will if you will…. I will if you won’t. I will through you. Thy will be done. My will be done. Both sacred.

Y – So what is your will choosing right now?

W – I knew you weren’t quite done….hmmm, right now I am choosing to say yes to arising choices and circumstances with a yes to my own bigness, an acknowledgment of my own bigness, my call to lead, and a surrender to my own followers, those who authorize and certify me to serve their sovereign being with the things I’ve learned and earned.

Y – That’s getting pretty clear, Wayne. Clearer than I‘ve ever heard you. Get ready for more them ‘you can’t make this shit up’ synchros. You are aligning your life with an essential wild flow of nature itself. Life extends that offer to everyone by virtue of their life. To anyone who wants to and is willing, I say ‘come.’

W – You’re still a lot to keep up with, Yeshua.

Y – Don’t project that onto me, man. I need today just to get ready for you again.

W – You might need two. 🙂

Y – I just might. I have all the time in the world.

W – I’m with you.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 15: Being Transparent About Your Inner Polarities

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What’s eroding is not the integrous self, but the false and impure self structures in people and governments founded on corruption. It masqueraded successfully for a long time hiding its incongruence. What’s arising now is an integration of transparency that doesn’t dissolve the false self, but rather illuminates it into consciousness where its needs can be felt and loved and honored for the service it gave.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua. Are you up for another round today?

Yeshua – I am if you are.

W – Well, it’s a full day of stuff to do, but I do feel a desire to hold our track. It’s so moving and changing me and everyone I know of that is following our dialogue is reporting profound shifts inside of them too.

Y – I like the seriousness with which you hold this, Wayne. I wouldn’t show up with my share for a half commitment. Half in, half out is the plague of our times.

W – I was minded to ask you about taxes and governments, but already I feel you moving in another direction.

Y – We’re often of the same mind, Wayne. Let’s go where we go. We may find they intersect powerfully.

W – You were saying about the plague of our times…….

Y – Yeah, half in-half out. Everywhere. Politicians want to soapbox about the common good of all that their system and values uphold, but many people can now smell the falseness a mile away and feel the part of them that feels opposite to what they are speaking. This is the dis-integrated self. It claims to be one, when it is in fact two or more opposites. This renders everything they do and say false. And of course they need to keep the curtains drawn and private for this house of cards self to maintain some level of crippled function. It’s the essence of corruption.

W – Okay, that’s a lot to digest right there, Yeshua…

Y – Only because you are so ripe with it, Wayne. You are. So many are. Whole societies are for that matter. The collective is shifting.

W – And I so feel the half in, half out thing as an erosion of our personal currency. Our word and our bond being one.

Y – What’s eroding is not the integrous self, but the false and impure self structures in people and governments founded on corruption. It masqueraded successfully for a long time hiding its incongruence. What’s arising now is an integration of transparency that doesn’t dissolve the false self, but rather illuminates it into consciousness where its needs can be felt and loved and honored for the service it gave.

W – I think I’m tracking…well, I feel a whole bunch being tweaked in a few directions at the same time. Not sure which one to pick up on.

Y – You might say it comes down to the definition of impure……if we were to get a bit more mental here.

W – Please, my mental could use a leg up.

Y – Impure has been defined to mean of some lower moral quality from what is being agreed upon as morally superior. In the puritan tradition, a man had impure thoughts if he looked on a woman with sexual thoughts. Which was and is a major pretzel for that man’s cock. Wow. All of the big three reigning religions share this same cock in a knot way of life.

W – It hurts when you just say that. Ouch.

Y – What impure is really about is a substance claiming to be one substance when it is in fact two or more. The fault is not the two or more part. The fault, or the falseness, is the claim that it’s only one when it’s in fact more than one. The falseness is the hiding.

W – Suppressing some essence of who I am, especially the things that feel incongruent, that I haven’t reconciled, where both sides of the ledger can’t find a balance…

Y – Brings up two sets of books. One book for the half in part and one book for the half out part. Both parts remain at war with the other and suffer as there is no one at home to make reconciliation of the two.

W – When I feel it, it feels like all the suffering in my life could be summed up in what you just said.

Y – And it doesn’t take much to see how money is just a playout of this deep and pervasive split between our humanity and our divinity, between our essence and our image. Money and how it works will naturally just trail effortlessly behind us reflecting our inner movements. It’s just another agreement, a working hypothesis if you will for what we are currently experimenting with. We’re just about done with an entire phase of consciousness. Whole new things are about to be coined into consciousness.

W – But it’s a bit of a major hell in the meantime, Yeshua, wouldn’t you say? You seem…

Y – A bit out of touch with the reality on the ground?

W – To part of me, yes.

Y – See right there, you got an opportunity to bring your half in and half out reality to what I’m saying. You like it, but you don’t.

W – Part of me buys in deeply and resounds with a yes, but I can so feel a part of me, going ‘but, but……..’

Y – That’s the transformation right there. It’s about no longer needing to parade around as one.

W – With my cock in a knot.

Y – Exactly. Even sexuality and gender is not one but two. Polarity creates attraction. Sameness creates boredom. You are not one until you are. The pressure comes off when the efforts to hide and cloak are abandoned. Transparency is your friend and saviour.

W – That feels like the price of admission right there.

Y – Now, back to this part of you who’s saying a ‘get real’ to all of this. First, thank you for your truth. Don’t ever play pretend of going along with something when you aren’t. You will only hurt and harm in the process. The painful reality on the ground you mention needs to be seen in the context of the soul’s journey and humanity’s journey into knowing and discovering itself. Pain and death from a soul’s perspective are not what they feel like to the human playing victim to being embodied as a human. The soul will gladly give its life as it knows it never dies, but only moves its essence through inextinguishable realities seeking to know itself and make the return to love. Every single one of you are expending your life as we speak. It’s about the consciousness you bring to that expense that makes for a different experience that transforms suffering into growth and abundance.

W – We’ve avoided our suffering at all costs.

Y – …putting your money into a bag with holes.

W – Can you help tie this into my tax and governments query?

Y – It’s the great shift I am speaking to that is bringing to light a corruption that has been there all along. As souls, you are no longer willing to give the amount of effort that you did before to the hiding. The shit that is hitting the fan is a long and negotiated allowance for the worlds to now collide. In the playout of that, there is personal choices to make and to negotiate that that feel big, but it really boils down to a choice to keep bringing forth your own reconciliation to all parts of yourself that you discover along the way. One system letting go makes way for the new one to arise. Civilizations have risen and fallen since the beginning of time. Come into the civility of your own heart and let the collective reflect its own discoveries. The collective is now about to be following the individual, instead of the other way around that it’s been up till now. It should be pretty cool to watch unfold.

W – Corruption, reconciliation, impurities, transparency as my saviour…wow.

Y – And the end of the hiding.

W – Thanks again, Yeshua.

Y – You’re welcome Wayne.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 16: Accepting The Terms Of Life As Change And Metamorphosis

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In nature, life never ends. Death is not an end, but only a change. When an illness comes into your body, it is seeking to bring change. Life is not trying to make good on a promise of security and safety that it didn’t ever make to anyone. When you entered into your life contract, you knew that. You agreed to that. You actually wanted that. Aliveness only gets it qualities from accepting the terms of life which is change and metamorphosis.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Good Morning, Wayne.

W – I feel a desire to connect again with you today though I’m a bit ‘under the weather’, as we say.

Y – Where would you like to go?

W – I’ve been feeling my resilience to sickness for most of my life. I only got a cold every few years it seemed and then only a mild one. I was kind of proud of it. I figured it had to do with my self employment thing. No one else is going to show up for me. It had a passion and strength about it for sure, but now I’m not so sure of how I had it all wired up. I had a money urgency behind it all too.

Y – What feels different now?

W – Now I’m feeling how when the body calls for downtime and enters what we call a sickness that this is actually a sacred movement of the body, that we either surrender to, or resist, or even negotiate for something in between.

Y – How could I help?

W – I’m curious about your perspective on illness. I feel a big tie to that around our personal currency, but I can’t get to the deeper perspective on it.

Y – Nature’s forces are seen as opposing when really they are the gift of all life to us. An earthquake that destroys a city and takes many lives is actually a huge gift of cleansing and metamorphosis and change. Life never offered to anyone any guarantee of safety. Only false life structures promise guarantee in this way. People who are set on only partially being in life seek out false assurances of safety and play victim to and set up an oppositional relationship to nature.

W – It’s hard to feel a huge and sudden loss of life as a gift.

Y – In nature, life never ends. Death is not an end, but only a change. When an illness comes into your body, it is seeking to bring change. Life is not trying to make good on a promise of security and safety that it didn’t ever make to anyone. When you entered into your life contract this life, you knew that. You agreed to that. You actually wanted that. Aliveness only gets it qualities from accepting the terms of life which is change and metamorphosis.

W – It seems like money and currency is all about the security and safety side of things. If I get the money, then I can be in life in this more adventurous way. Maybe then I  will express my deeper gifts.

Y – When really life is asking you every day ‘Why are you here?’ ‘What do you really want?’ and ‘when will you reach for it?’ The anemic and false and safety oriented self seeks to hold life in a safety pattern where life can be expected to look tomorrow like it looks today.

W – Which makes it kind of interesting then how I did decades of engaged self employment largely escaping even cold symptoms for so long.

Y – The pursuit of safety can look very passionate and engaged. You had this ‘I will overcome nature itself’ kind of resolve to you which was admirable to many, but now you are moving to a place of moving with nature instead of being in resistance to it.

W – What does being in life on nature’s terms look like? Can you say more?

Y – Well, it’s really about feeling this piece about surrender to change. As you let that in and are present to it, that creates a reverence for the opportunity that is in this moment, whether it be a seed time, harvest, or anything before or between those. The money systems we’ve created were an attempt to overcome the cycles of nature, to find a domain where continual harvest could occur, where metamorphosis is overcome.

W – Even in this moment, I can feel my brain only engaging so far with the symptoms in my body. Even receiving what you are saying feels a bit foggy, but I felt I wanted to connect with your energy from this place too, to feel what’s real.

Y – What’s real, Wayne, is that life itself moves you. You don’t need to make life work.

W – I sure related to my money world as one big efficiency game. An efficiency of my body’s energy, staying healthy in order to produce more; my psyche efficiency, liking what I am doing and being liked by the people hiring me. Where it lost ground for me though was feeling how I was more and more overcoming something, fighting something. I had it all wrapped up in a feeling of ‘I just need to get ahead.’

Y – I just need to get ahead of what?

W – I just need to get ahead of the demand.

Y – What demand?

W – The demand of the bills. Whether the literal bills in the mailbox, or the bills of keeping up with maintaining my self image to the people in my life.

Y – What if part of you made up that demand as one big negotiated way of being in life?

W – I so get that. But why? Is it really all about safety?

Y – Being in life is being embodied. Embodiment is the acceptance of having needs and wants. Feeling your vulnerability to your needs and wants is being alive. Responding to your needs and wants is alive, and surrender to being in life. Making an enemy of these needs and wants is the fundamental offer in your money systems. I will get enough money so that my needs and wants won’t be an issue.

W – But needs and wants aren’t comfortable in the deadness of false guarantee, so they make themselves ever larger is how it seemed to me.

Y – Till an earthquake rumbled through to address the imbalance.

W – So, Yeshua, what does the new world look like then of surrender to my needs, having meaningful and fulfilling exchanges, coming out from under the yoke of safety and guarantee?

Y – If I described it adequately, would that make you willing to buy into it some more?

W – Well, a sales brochure wouldn’t be such a bad thing, would it?

Y – The offer, the magic, the result, the fulfillment, the meaning, the orgasm of it all is offered to you and anyone in any moment of your choosing. Connecting with the vulnerability of your real needs and wants brings you to the place where your divinity and humanity are not at odds. The experiences that arise from here profoundly and cumulatively change the trajectory and conditioning of your life at a rate and pace that you can self lovingly bear. Each person will need their own confirmation of that and it’s their birthright to have that.

W – Mine by right of my birth. I like that. I’d like to have my needs tied more and more to that, than to the false treadmill that I gave so much of my life to.

Y – Life actually does promise safety or security, but its security and safety is rooted in the reality of feeling loved and held in the midst of never ending change, rather than an exemption from change.

W – Well, if this illness I’m in the midst of is helping to rewire me for that, then I accept the gifts it brings me.

Y – Many of life’s deepest gifts can only come to you in your stillness.

W – Thanks, Yeshua, I’m needing to rest now again.

Y – Thank you.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.