The Sacred ‘Mess’ Of Your Healing Path

by Kalayna Colibri

follow me, find your mess

“Come follow me, and you will find your mess” – a biblical quote reframe, as offered to me by Yeshua

~

There’s a light up ahead, held by someone who has done much work. Someone who beams a beacon of hope and love and possibility. Their energy invites you in and also invites you to follow them. They don’t energize being ‘better’ or ‘holier’ than you, they only seem to energize that they are somehow ‘ahead’ and want to vulnerably lead you into more possibilities, healing and growth for yourself.

Maybe you choose to follow because the warmth of the heart cord between you is incredible and familiar and not like anything you’ve ever felt before in this life. You want to be near this person, relate closely with them, and yet you can’t quite relate to them yet. They feel ‘close’ to you in a sweet sense, yet they almost feel like something that isn’t from this world. How could that be? They certainly seem human enough. You conclude that somehow they ARE human, just living in a different sort of dimension than you’re used to. Wow. THAT’S interesting because the dimension you’ve been living in feels old, stale, essentially loveless to you more and more these days as you continue to awaken to the universe within and outside of you.

As you continue to follow this person up ahead, you feel the infusions of light and love that they offer. You feel too, the realness they hold about their personal reality – how they or parts of them feel or are reacting in given moments. You can feel them holding this reality as sacred, though sometimes the energy feels intense to parts of you that you haven’t fully felt yet. What they offer to themselves and to you seems like ‘love’, but it’s a different love than you’ve experienced, as most of the time those around you refuse to be ‘real’ or current with what they’re feeling or experiencing. Or, on the other hand, they dump energy and emotion on you and in the space they hold with you, feeling like a victim and playing a victim’s role, effectively and skillfully drawing up a case that backs up their claim to perpetual victimhood. You’ve never had this contrast be illuminated for you before and it stirs something inside of you. Parts of you may start to feel victimized to this new frequency of love that is so illuminating, as it shows you too the ways in which you have been and held this same energy of co-dependently being in relationship with others and not deeply maturing emotionally, though you may ‘seem’ mature to most others in your life. You are experiencing how this love is holding up a mirror for you, and wow, there’s actually quite a bit of shadow there to feel!

This being you chose to follow encourages you to keep feeling it all. WHAT?! I have to FEEL it all?! You begin to feel a part of you is getting overwhelmed by the volume of what there is to feel, and you feel a bit surprised by what is still there that you thought you had healed by now. You feel the weight and the mess of it all… the entanglements within your relationships, past and present, the knots living inside of your heart and soul, the shadow pieces and parts of you popping up now to be witnessed, felt, held, healed. It’s a lot. Sometimes it feels like ‘too much’… and your new leader invites you to just ‘hold on tight!’ while the winds whip by and through you, inviting you to step into them despite the swirling chaos inside of you.

This is what it means to be on a path where you find that ‘mess’ within. That ‘mess’ that you learn to love as you trust that it’s leading you somewhere NEW. Amidst the mess, you get to decide whether or not you want to continue walking into it. You get to decide in every single moment, what you want next. And you get to decide whether or not you really trust this process and are ready for it.

~

In SoulFullHeart, we don’t hold a grandiose or lofty picture of who we are as spiritual and emotional teachers, leaders and facilitators. The work we’ve done and continue to do is challengings and sometimes downright hard to be in, though the payoff is incredible, as the growth and consciousness expansion is exponential. If anything we are here to guide you if you can lean into what we offer and embody.

Choosing to be around us in any way or form offers some sort of challenge to your being, just because of this way of life we embody. Choosing to be with us here in community, well, that pushes up even more… yet your readiness is something you get to gauge in every moment, even as ‘mess’ comes up from within and seems to be playing out outside of you too.

Following any sort of spiritual and/or emotional healing path should push up quite a bit inside of you. Even if you are not drawn to SoulFullHeart, whatever path you may choose will very likely give you a lot to feel and heal. There is no way, in my experience, to avoid or fully transcend what we signed up to heal in this life. Embracing our messes, no matter where we are in our path or what teacher(s) or leader(s) we may choose to follow or learn from, gives us this gift of finding our way to deeper and deeper decisions about the playout of our lives and how and who we most want to be.

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

You Are Arising From The Ashes: Poem For Easter

By Jelelle Awen with Christ Consciousness/Yeshua/Christiel/Jesus

Man rising from the ashes, energy, aura, power,reincarnation

You are arising from the ashes of your purposefully burnt up life, choosing the match, the heat, the way in which your now feeling false world will burn

You are BEing reborn from that which has been cast off, birthing out from that which is true as the only REAL thing that can remain

You are resurrecting your form out of a dying and collapsing reality, claiming a new way of BEing as your sacred humanity

You are serving love as your greatest purpose, feeling in every moment how you can BE THIS MORE

You are moving beyond fears of an unenLIGHTened soul, accessing your awakening soul’s courage and desire for UNION

You are co-creating a NEW golden earth possibility, feeling in every moment how you can BE THIS NOW

You are opening and healing your higher heart through PURE love, connecting with the energy of your star BEing and angelic origins

You are awakening from the deep sleep of the forgetful soul, remembering the LOVE from which you came and already ARE ~

 

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, love ambassador, way-shower, and co-creator and teacher of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Be IN the world, not OF the world…..yet care FOR the world

By Jelelle Awen with Yeshua

Be in the world, not of the world…..yet care for the world. ~

You are in the world, bring your heart with you, feel your surroundings and those who call you into connection. You are in a human body, bring your health to it, feel your embodiment as sacred and the desires that flow from it. You are in a culture, bring your celebration of it, feel how it impacts you and forms you.

You are not of the world, it is not a reflection of that which you are really made and ARE. Participate in the world even while remembering that you are not just it…not your name, your occupation, your body, your income, your home, your history, your culture. Remain with some separation from it so that you can retain the essence of what you ARE as Infinite Love.

You are care for the world, bring your compassion with you, feel the tears of the world and those cries that call you to respond. Serve love as the greatest gift for yourself, others, and with the Divine God in all Its glorious forms, including YOU. Remember to respond to fear with love, not more fear, and you offer a new possibility to each moment. ~

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about awakening and healing sessions with her. 

Letting Go Of Cultural Assumptions : Mission To Me Journal With Wayne and Yeshua

missiontomewayne

By Wayne Vriend

Wayne – Whoa, Yeshua. Can’t guess where to begin just now. So much changing…Are you up for dialogue?

Yeshua – You know me, I miss interaction of heart and feeling. Nothing satisfies like it.

W – I know. I’ve always hungered for that my whole life it seems. What is it that makes way for that and what is it that shuts that down between people?

Y – It has so much to do with your assumptions about life, how you deeply and especially subconsciously feel about your life, your relationships to everything, the planet, others, divinity.

W – Somehow, though knowing you, I don’t think you have a ‘change your belief system’ prescription answer to this though.

Y – That has been a popular prescription, but it is now being realized that this is such an outside-in approach, trying to deal with the unwanted symptoms of the much deeper held felt reality of someone’s life. When something is truly addressed and moved on this deep heart level, there isn’t any need for belief system adjustments to tidy up the mess.

W – This whole realm feels so alive for me personally right now as we’ve just left Canada permanently, embraced Mexico, and are being introduced to a brand new, to us at least, culture. Then, on top of that, preparing to live even more remotely and deeply off the grids of western civilization at the ranch.

Y – That will wake you up for sure.

W – It so does. It wakes up a lot of stuff. Desire, passion, joy, for sure, but that’s not all. I’ve also felt some pretty deep fear places that I didn’t know were still there to the level they were.

Y – Which brings us to one of humanity’s biggest and longest surviving assumptions about life itself……

W – Here comes the heart and soul interaction, please go on, seatbelt’s fastened.

Y – One the single largest and lasting false assumptions about life is that fear is an enemy. Fear is not an enemy, but a very natural part of life. People don’t go crazy because of their fears, but because of their resistance to feeling their fears. Being human is being in fluent contact with whatever fears come up. Most people structure everything about their lives to spare them this sovereign responsibility. Keeping life the same as much as possible, (which is such a rinky-dink achievement at best; because life itself will always undermine the best of these change-less fortresses) is an attempt literally against your true human and divine nature.

W – I know I could use some more kindergarten around this one because I surprised myself lately with what fears are still lurking, and don’t feel very far away from me even right now.

Y – That’s nice and humble of you to make the beginner kindergarten reference, but really that’s another thing rooted in the fear picture.

W – I was feeling that as I said it.

Y – Well, what was the fearful part of you trying to cover over?

W – Fearing not being seen as relevant and relatable.

Y – Being real is the very definition of being relatable. Hiding a fear is the very essence of withdrawing yourself from the human experience. Can you tell me the texture of this fear of not being relatable?

W – The texture is something like being estranged or excluded from a source of love, which then manifests in a shrinking-to-fit the people I’m relating to.

Y – Being more than or less than you truly are, are both equally an expression of an unfelt fear. And this unfelt fear that is disowned and unacknowledged in this way, goes on to remove the heart and soul from your sacred grounding in your real sacred human experience and sovereign territory.

W – Which gets us back to the assumptions you were talking about.

Y – How so…teacher?

W – When I’ve subscribed to the lie that a successful or meaningful or powerful life is about having less fear or anxiety, I structure everything in my life, my relationships, my spiritual, emotional, and physical health right down to the very cells in my body in an attempt to live inside of this assumption about life…..which given enough time, only eventually proves the falseness and uselessness of the assumption.

Y – Which ties into what?

W – Which ties into that one of our deepest soul fears is being in life without a clutching grasp on what reality is, what really matters…why I’m here and all of that…along with what really is ‘here’ for that matter. Honestly, I don’t know. Admitting that I don’t know enters me into true learning which isn’t about decoding the universe, but rather being caught up continuously in its unfolding wonder. Observer vs. knower and all of that good stuff.

Y – And what about all of the God shit religious people peddle……what’s that about?

W – When I feel into the god shit I peddled to myself and others, It’s really about our collective need to feel secure in having others living like we are, which is the very essence of culture, and cults for that matter.

Y – Which brings you back to what?

W – Well, if hiding from fear is a common to man assumption, albeit a hindering one, in this phase of our consciousness, it brings me back to a shared common denominator that I share with all men. None of us are excluded. We are all learning a similar lesson.

Y – But…what?

W – But, even in this common denominator, we are not the same. Each of us is at different places in this journey.

Y – Where are you at in this journey…I mean as near as you can tell?

W – Well, I’ve been doing a lot of letting go of my acquired cults and culture for a long time now it seems, courageously moving on from one life cycle to the next when it no longer felt like me. I just let go of another few big ones, with leaving my country, oh, and my livelihood career security blanket of the past 30 years.

Y – I’d say that’s a whole lot different than where the majority of humanity is at.

W – Yes, that is.

Y – Well then, fuck that kindergarten shit, man!

W – Thank you.

Y – Good answer! 🙂 Thank you!

In this blog series, Mission To Me Journal, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversations with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer Wayne’s process and digestions with Yeshua as he undergoes internal and external process moving to Mexico to be in an eco-conscious community. Read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher and Ending The Money Madness With Wayne And Yeshua for more conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Consciousness Awakening : Mission To Me Journal With Wayne and Yeshua

missiontomewayne

By Wayne Vriend

Wayne – Good Morning Yeshua.

Yeshua – Good Morning Wayne.

W – My last day in this resort, getting ready for the next phase.

Y – Yeah, and what are you feeling?

W – Well, it was a lot to take a bus ride yesterday to another resort town and be in amongst what feels to me, at least, like the masses. What is about all that that feels so taxing is what I’d like to feel into together today.

Y – People when they congregate in anything, be it a bus, or a city, or a village, they are tying into cultural expectations and adaptations about how to be in the presence of others. What drives this is genuine human need. The result however is a long ways away from anything resembling genuine.

W – Now I know why I like talking with you. You know how to get right to something.

Y – And that’s a good as example as anything. We, you and I are bringing are needs into the circle of our togetherness, feeling what we want and need. We call that expressing. The point of our connecting is not to hide our true wants, but rather to feel and express them and negotiate together for the meeting of those needs.

W – That feels like a world away from what I felt yesterday, or what I saw at the breakfast buffet this morning.

Y – It is literally an entire world away. A world is the sum of what any given culture has come up with as a way of being. Many different worlds within the world and all that, for sure. But even the words ‘the world’ have a huge cultural assumption in them, that is that the world as one knows it is in fact the depth of reality, and that is without a doubt, the height of hubris and stupidity.

W – Some of us are just plain stupid?

Y – Well, being stupid in the original sense of the word means to be amazed or stunned. Most are so amazed and stunned that they inhabit a human body and express as a human being, that they are fused to that stunned state. They can’t see beyond it or around it to feel their unique state.

W – Which leaves them little ground to feel self worth.

Y – Exactly. Their own uniqueness and wonder is lost on them. A deep sense of meaningless and existential depression is their lot. W – Which to me, and I hesitate here, because a part of me feels it to be too judgmental, but I might as well say what I’m thinking,… is that their state isn’t much different than being an animal, and much of the time, what we consider a lesser animal at that.

Y – I feel that’s accurate Wayne.

W – Is that Okay? I mean, should it be our mission to raise their consciousness to the level of their actual being, out of the state that their consciousness has fallen into?

Y – Careful on that one. I’d say that the best approach is to see yourself as a cooperator with someone who is sovereignly coming into a deeper consciousness, not as a creator of that state. You can’t awaken anyone who’s choosing to remain where they are. You’re being who you are is plenty of light and invitation to any soul who is ready for your help.

W – That takes the stress out of that one.

Y – Totally. And feel too how when you are unhealthily pressing on someone to wake up, a part of you is actually struggling with it’s own awakening.

W – I think I see that.

Y – What do you see about it?

W – Well, it’s a painful process to leave the familiar, and the deepest level of familiar is not our language, food and surroundings, but our level of consciousness. Waking up on that level is where the existential pain and fear of not finding meaning or connection comes in. Sailing for another shore involves leaving one behind. So when I’m frustrated with someone who is unwilling to awaken, I need to check in to feel if a part of me is resisting my own movement.

Y – Thank you. Yes. And doesn’t this elevate the whole feeling of what it means to be a human. I’m talking about the grace and space to feel yourself. This is more than self-awareness. This self-awareness though is only the beginning on the path to self love. In between and all along the way comes deeper discoveries of meaning and worth. That’s the theory of it, not to be mistaken for the reality of it.

W – And the reality of it feels like is a life long journey. I’m never actually in possession of ‘it’ somehow.

Y – True, in the flow of it, the expansion of it, often the struggle of it, but such a worthwhile way to be human.

W – Because…

Y – Because there’s no greater container for the entire human experience than to be journeying to discover deeper and deeper experiences and the feeling of your own worth and value, which of course is tied to the worth and value of all of your fellow humans. And what else, …my god, your energy around this awakens me man…what else is that, that alive energy in you of feeling who and what you are is what triggers that around you in others without you having to get into efforting that. It’s an effortless achievement when you trigger an awakening in someone by your being. You’re just being you. This is the deepest level of gift expression.

W – And really the funnest fun, because I get to see more of my emerging self.

Y – Totally Man.

W – My butt’s getting sore Yeshua. I’d like to go feel this by the poolside some more.

Y – I’m not boring you am I?

W – My god, anything but!

Y – Good.

W – I see your sensitive too?

Y – Well of course I am. I’m not a know it all. I’m a feel it all. Being willing to feel it all is being willing to be vulnerable, and that includes being vulnerable to having love with others.

W – I love you.

Y – I love you too.

In this blog series, Mission To Me Journal, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversations with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer Wayne’s process and digestions with Yeshua as he undergoes internal and external process to exodus to Mexico with his wife Jillian and Christopher Tydeman to be in eco-conscious community. Read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher and Ending The Money Madness With Wayne And Yeshua for more conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Your Inner God-Baby And Your Child Heart-Mind: Mission To Me Journal With Wayne And Yeshua

Inner-Child

Wayne – Yeshua, it has been too long.

Yeshua – Time is an elusion, but I get the sentiment.

W – I think you meant ‘illusion.’ Not that I’m any language expert.

Y – Both can work here. Time is an escape mechanism that both hides and deceives.

W – You feel eager to teach.

Y – I do?

W – Yeah, and I feel like I miss your teaching.

Y – You do?

W – Big time. I long for your context, for your deep expansion of consciousness that brings back wonder and gratitude.

Y – There are no higher states actually.

W – Really, are you sure about that?

Y – Wonder is the child heart mind connection that adults have had eroded and stolen from them. It’s the freedom to feel everything with little or no effort to hide. You have to go back to the youngest of children though to feel it in it’s essence as it begins to fade from early on in your world.

W – I was at breakfast this morning and there were little children all around, stuffing their face, fussing, smiling, gazing. I would have given my right arm to babysit for a day I felt like.

Y – These children reflect to you your own inner god-baby that you long to connect with.

W – I feel that Yeshua.

Y – What do you feel?

W – I just arrived at a resort in Mexico, while Jillian, Christopher and Kathleen and the fur-face trio are driving down. I feel like a dependent child in so many ways, I’ve found my way to the food and beer though. I even have a wrist bracelet that totally feels like a hospital bracelet. My caregivers need to positively identify me. It feels daunting at the moment to venture too far away from the resort, though I did take in the ocean and the waves yesterday.

Y – Feel that you do in fact have a baby entrusted to your care that takes priority over anything else. Your budding inner god-baby.

W – Tell me more.

Y – There you go, That’s what baby’s do. Ask questions. The questions arise from simply being with what is, and the absolute wonder of it in any moment.

W – I feel that like a faint memory more than a living reality. I mean, I want it to be more that way in my life no doubt, but it feels idealistic to a part of me.

Y – Labeling something as idealistic is a way to dismiss it and the pain of not being in touch much any more with deep penetrating beauty and wonder. It takes being and power to be willing to let in beauty. It’s not so much a lost art as it is a lost permission.

W – It feels good just now to be in our connection and feeling you and the desire you have to teach.

Y – My desire to teach is a desire to be met.

W – What do you mean?

Y – It’s not that I’m a know it all. In fact, I’m the opposite of a know it all. I know that I don’t even know how much I don’t know. But my desire to continue learning is in a healthy and fired up state. That’s being in the child heart-mind. All learning is sourced and based in simple love. Love connects and shares. I actually have a need to give away what I have in order to make room for more.

W – You tweak me big time Yeshua when you speak of all being being sourced in love and then how you connect that to the child heart-mind.

Y – What tweaks you about it?

W – Well, as I’m presently removed from my own cultural reference points and my previous sense of home, I feel the many cultural constructs around me, both of the locals and the tourists and they feel like they each have a beauty to them, but a beauty that is for the most part no longer felt and connected with.

Y – People go on vacation to vacate the prison of their constructed lives. They give themselves a few moments to feel their wanter, but then even that is greatly moderated by the part of them afraid to feel their own inner god-baby.

W – What would happen if we got a whole lot more admitting of our inner god-baby?

Y – It would change the world, like a tsunami changes a landscape. Love is the source and force that moves every bit of energy in the universe. Even the malevolent and destructive forces are actually seeking love. Meet destruction with love and watch the transformation.

W – My inner god-baby says ‘I want.’ I think that’s something like ‘Yo Quiero’ in Spanish.

Y – Language is the lingua or the tongue. It is the flow from the heart. It in it’s essence is very simple in what it wants and needs. It is only when someone removes from themselves the feeling of their own needs that language is complicated and removed from it’s essence of communicating the ‘Yo Quiero’ that is at root of all life.

W – That’s interesting Yeshua, because it seems every religion is far more comfortable expressing what they have to supposedly give, rather than what they are in need of.

Y – Big time. This utter disconnection from their own susceptibility to being human, posing as spiritual fill up stations, only serves to elude them with illusion of being without need. This is the key to returning to the child heart-mind. How cool would it be for a religion to offer ‘we long to know’ rather ‘we know.’

W – I think I may have a piece at least of an answer to that.

Y – Say on mi amigo.

W – It gets back to that terror of feeling the great loss of our child heart-mind. We put control around it in the form of offering answers without the reverence for the questioner or the quester, that is moved by the love you speak of.

Y – And this control really is a rinky-dink pathetic attempt.

W – Yet it seems so… everywhere.

Y – Because it is so dirt cheap and utterly worthless really. Give me the child heart-mind any minute of any day over that, and we will then discover what every vacationer is actually seeking. True seeking is what leads to finding.

W – Wow, Yesh, Thank you again. I think days were invented to be able to take you in, in stages…I need to hold off till tomorrow.

Y – There is no tomorrow remember, only now.

W – Okay, I will. One more thing, Yeshua, speaking with you is really helping me adjust, helping me feel my own heart, and helping me land in this brave new world. Gracias.

Y – De nada….

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 20: Letting Yourself Be Found By Love

yeshuamoneysmall

You think you are seeking love, which is actually part of your avoidance of love. But, Love is out seeking you. The deal is: can you show up for it? Can you let yourself be found by love?

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Hey, Wayne. I’ve missed you.

W – Really?

Y – Hey man, I don’t get many takers for what I have to offer. Most can’t take in the message even if they feel they want it.

W – So what is your central message, Yeshua? I’ve been focusing on your message about currency lately, but is there something else you feel is more urgent or needed?

Y – My central message has always been that you are sacred. You are inescapably and hopelessly a part of the Divine. People get excited about me, but what gets me excited is them and their potential, their awakening to their divinity. But from here, my message flows to what’s current. That’s my current-see.

W – Tell me your current-see.

Y – The entire world has entered a huge birth canal in the midst of a great dying. If you can locate yourself as a sacred part of this reality, then you can find meaning and value and safety in the midst of the deepest and swiftest changes humanity has ever collectively witnessed.

W – This is so much more than I bargained for, part of me wants to say…

Y – I get that, and it’s your job to hold that part of you, because how you hold that part of you determines if you are part of what’s being born or a part of what is dying.

W – You get so serious, so fast, Yeshua.

Y – I’m not as serious as I sound actually, in the way you tend to hold seriousness. Death is, in the big picture, in my picture, all a part of life, all too often though with unnecessary suffering. But suffering isn’t something to avoid. Suffering is something to go through. Suffering isn’t suffering.

W – Suffering isn’t suffering???

Y – Not in the way you’ve related to it. Suffering is movement, not static, unmoveable pain. People who avoid their suffering are of all men, most miserable.

W – I like that. That really feels like a guiding light piece, Yeshua. Find the courage to feel our suffering and be moved by it, be changed by it, see where it takes us.

Y – Suffering as part of your personal currency, your personal power. To suffer is to surrender to the birth, not to enter immovable pain.

W – So then, why are we afraid of our own power?

Y – Your own power always takes you to new places. It’s natural for you to be unsure of the new place. It is a fearful thing to complete a life or a phase of life and enter a new one.

W – So we try and settle for the appearance of a static world, where things don’t change.

Y – And all of that energy only serves to propel the changes even faster. You are in life. You chose it. You chose change. That’s baked in the cake. Whether you enjoy this cake or not has to do with how you relate to it.

W – I know I sure want to feel more at home in this great change. Parts of me definitely feel anxious about the outcome.

Y – You can’t BE in the outcome though, so you can’t experience love and true security when you are not present in the moment. It’s in the moment, as in right now and in right now only that you can feel loved and held. Then from there, you can feel secure in knowing that whatever the future brings, you will access love when you get there. Does that help?

W – Yeah,…so when I’m out of the moment, where am I?

Y – You have placed yourself temporarily out of the experience of love’s reach, where pain doesn’t have any traction to move or take you somewhere.

W – So then, I’m actually more afraid of having love than I am afraid of not having it.

Y – People will do anything to escape love, tone it down, manage it, control it.

W – I get that. Now you’ve made curious about what embracing love would look like?

Y – And that my friend, can’t be put into words, it can only be felt.

W – Better felt than telt, the preacher used to say.

Y – Feeling is what makes the world go around.

W – But if you were to try to put it into words, what would you say?

Y – I knew that was coming. I’ll give it a try, as long as you don’t substitute it for the real thing.

W – I’m down with that.

Y – Knowing and feeling love is the point of all life. All of life is a seeking to know love. Even love’s seeming absence and vacuum is giving place to love’s arising. Your cells are programmed for love. You ache for love. You fear love’s loss. You are a love creature. Anytime you can let in love, and lessen your restriction of love’s flow in your heart and life, you experience essence.

W – Letting in love. That’s such a big contrast to the picture that we are out seeking love.

Y – You think you are seeking love, which is actually part of your avoidance of love, but Love is out seeking you. The deal is: can you show up for it? Can you let yourself be found by love?

W – I want to let love find me and never stop finding me.

Y – That’s why you chose to be here at this time. Let your life as you know it now be rooted and grounded in the great death and rebirth. Give what needs to die to the death and what needs to be reborn to the birth. This is the greatest moment of opportunity that humanity has ever witnessed.

W – And our money stuff sorts itself out from there.

Y – Totally. Most of the time, people embrace lesser challenges as a way to hide their hiding from love. But when you let yourself be found by love, everything you create and give energy to is transformed by love’s lodging in you.

W – I get now why I need days between our conversations. You’re a lot to take in.

Y – Just lessen up some on hiding from love, and you should be fine.

W – I’m gonna test drive that today.

Y – Give it a whirl, man. Love and feeling is what makes the world go around.

W – Thanks again, Yeshua.

Y – My god! You’re so welcome!

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 19: Money Is Actually Chasing You

yeshuamoneymadness

You weren’t born to chase money. You were born to be. From being and rest and stillness was meant to arise your power and trust and true work. Feeling is what returns you to your natural state of being, rest and stillness. Being, rest and stillness moves you naturally towards giving your deepest gifts where gift exchange naturally supports you and your needs in the world. Money is actually seeking you, you were not meant to seek money.

Wayne – Bit of an emergency meeting here, Yeshua, if we can.

Yeshua – Of course we can. What’s up?

W – I know we said we were going to wrap or pause our series on money in order to integrate all that we covered already, and it’s only been a few days, but I miss you….

Y – I miss you too…

W – And I feel a bit of a panic, a small panic, as Jillian and I looked at our money situation yesterday, some new bills came into the picture and it feels tight inside again.

Y – How can I help?

W – I always feel lately how it’s mostly an old conditioning coming from a part of me that is wrestling with what gets kicked up around a money pressure. I’m glad to feel less fusion and more separation between me and that feeling. That helps a lot. But I still want to help this part of me not suffer so much in the journey I’m taking in making choices and changes that directly affect our money flow. I also feel to transparent this too for others who resonate to follow.

Y – Hmmmm…

W – I also want to have more clarity and guidance for any actions that I need to be taking.

Y – What comes to me first is something I’ve learned from you actually.

W – Really, I could use a reminder.

Y – Anything that you encounter in life that triggers a strong feeling reaction simply needs to be felt. Having a feeling felt instead of just having a feeling is the digestion and healing point.

W – Don’t let me stop you…

Y – Let’s go personal instead of mental.

W – Okay.

Y – Tell me what does the money tightness feeling feel like for this part of you?

W – Well, It feels tight, …squeezed, like some of the goodness of life as we know it is seriously threatened to be taken away. The things that I/we like and feel attached too, especially after all the downsizing we’ve recently done. There’s a fear of being forced into difficult or hard circumstances.

Y – Can you just enter the room of this part of you who still feels these reactions and just be in its reality to actually feel this fear, the textures of it, the powerlessness of it, the hurt and pain of the threat of loss? Can you do that right now?

W – As I just let in this parts’ reality to have real time entry into my consciousness and not to be suppressed by any other part of me who would medicate that pain down, I can feel how the powerless feeling is actually connected to my powerful feeling. I can feel a digestion and a moving of the intensity. It’s been moving some overnight, but I needed to be with it consciously and with your input. I can feel this part of me opening out into trust and relaxation and also an arising empowerment.

Y –  This is the real work, Wayne. Chasing money to support a lifestyle that’s been constructed to keep anyone too busy to feel is just that….a medication to not feel. Working for money is a wimp’s way, someone who has been disempowered to navigate their feelings, their choices, and their life.

W – I’m liking the feeling of what you are saying, but I need a contrasting statement to help me fully embrace it. What would an empowered picture look like?

Y – Choosing to be in life where feeling is job number one reconstructs and deconstructs your lifestyle into movement towards your authentic self’s reason and true purpose for being in life. You do the feeling……life and the divine and your authentic self will bring you the choice points and movements that it has been aching for you to take. You weren’t born to chase money. You were born to be. From being and rest and stillness was meant to arise your power and trust and true work. Feeling is what returns you to your natural state of being, rest, and stillness. Being, rest, and stillness moves you naturally towards giving your deepest gifts where gift exchange naturally supports you and your needs in the world. Money is actually seeking you; you were not meant to seek money.

W – Money was meant to find me…

Y – Money was meant to be a means of value exchange. If you are giving your best value to life itself, life is going to keep short accounts and keep them settled. Money is just a handy way of exchanging value. Now money has been so invested with unfelt feelings of scarcity and powerlessness that its utility as a value exchange is being greatly reduced. But all of that is a collective death and rebirth of what having a life really is.

Y – There’s been so much work ethic piled on to the false structures around money that most are simply too busy to feel and be. Life is relentless though in its invitation to feel and be regardless of the stage of anyone’s disconnect.

W – Wow, so being and feeling is what wins out.

Y – You’ve certainly witnessed this time and time again.

W – I know, but old conditioning is done when it’s done I find.

Y – Feel the leading edge of your being holding and feeling the farthest reaches of your trailing edge. Nothing is more rewarding work. Nothing sorts out your relationship to money like it.

W – I think that gives me the Yeshua juice I needed today.

Y – That was easy.

W – You say so much in one way and so little in another, and somehow it all feels held and addressed.

Y – All part of living an earning.

W – Living an earning…?

Y – I live what I’ve earned. I keep doing the heart and feeling work. It rewards me with a consciousness and ability to be in life in surprising ways, and gives me plenty of goodies to trade to get my needs met too.

W – WWYD?

Y – WWWD.

W – 🙂

Y – 🙂

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 18: Pressed Out Of The Nest

yeshuamoneymadness

Pressed, moved, changed. Everyone, bar none, is entering a time of unprecedented pressure and big movement. Kicked or pressed, you decide. You have a lot of say though in where that pressure will take you if your appetite is aligned with the desire of the universe.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Good Morning.

W – Yeshua, I’m wondering if we’ve covered where we needed to go for now, as in pausing soon?

Y – I can definitely feel you digesting a whole bunch and shape-shifting your way into this.

W – I can too. I have an internal experience of a man being between two worlds at times.

Y – How is that for you?

W – Well, it’s a tension for sure. I feel my old orientation and conditioning towards life and money arise, but it’s like an elevator that doesn’t reach the top like it used to. I feel impulses to act in certain directions and then I feel an acknowledgment that I just don’t have the same energy for the particular undertaking,…am I making any sense?

Y – I’m tracking…so what happens next?

W – Well, I rest and breathe some more, which might be busy and active in some ways, but I let the itch bake a while longer. In this new reality, I feel a good kind of rest and peace particularly in the rearview mirror, but looking ahead is where the tension still comes up.

Y – And then there’s what’s actually happening in the present, that you aren’t efforting or orchestrating to your conscious mental knowledge, but YOU are taking the tension of the unknown, insecurities, taking them into your heart where they are transmuted into your soul purpose and calling.

W – I feel that’s true, and yet I feel I want more of that in my conscious reality. Trusting it. Resting in it.

Y – You always want more. I like that about you,… a lot. But I need to remind you of the need to do the outbreath too where you let in the growth you’ve already experienced.

W – An outbreath in order to make room to let in.

Y – Our whole discussion around a new reality in currency and money is one that arises in you and it only grounds into your or anyone else’s life by living their way into it, from the ground of their life as they know it now, including their money circumstances and all of their conditioning around money. It wouldn’t have any traction if it wasn’t being lived into consciousness. That includes feeling the pressure and conflict between an emerging consciousness pressing against an old conditioning. This pressure point, and it living in you, is where the alchemy of change is occurring. It includes then a willingness to feel the part of you who feels powerless as you move towards deeper engagement with your true power. You’ve proven that willingness, Wayne. It’s felt a bit lonely, but that loneliness is the alchemy of leadership that creates the space for others to join in.

W – Okay, that touched me, hearing that last part. Thank you.

Y – Wayne, in your heart, you know you have touched, felt, tried and proven a way of living that is new, alive and aches for its reality to land in others’ hearts. That doesn’t change when you feel an anxiety arise or a pressure point from your older consciousness. Am I right?

W – A hundred percent, …most of the time. 🙂

Y – Being THAT, in real life, however that looks or manifests, but simply letting it continue to manifest in the way that it wants to, by facing all of your choice points, by feeling all there is to feel, and by pausing to appreciate the ground you’ve covered is what takes you to your destiny, which incidentally is figuring itself out too as you go. This is the human experience. This is the real human currency……..the point of being here. The exchanges and transactions inside of you are filled with abundance, appetite, and satisfaction. They then in turn shape and recreate the transactions outside of you, with others. That’s the new economy.

W – I like everything you just said, but I feel an undercurrent of being kicked out of a nest, the nest of our dialogue, and being pressed back into my life.

Y – Kicked?

W – Okay, that came from a more fearful and afraid place. Pressed is more accurate.

Y – Pressed, moved, changed. Everyone, bar none, is entering a time of unprecedented pressure and big movement. Kicked or pressed, you decide. You have a lot of say though in where that pressure will take you if your appetite is aligned with the desire of the universe.

W – Which is…?

Y – What is it to you, Wayne?

W – It is being in a place where I feel myself continually being remembered back into love, feeling and knowing embrace, comfort and peace. Deep self love, deep God love, deep love with others.

Y – That’s a pretty good description of the real energy and need underlying everyone’s relationship with money. The need is so profound that left unsatisfied, it turns up the shit of greed. Both the need and the greed though point us back to our shared essence which is being at home in love.

W – Where we can never be homeless or go without.

Y – Where even if you lacked shelter, or went hungry, you wouldn’t ever doubt that you were and are loved and deeply cared for, and that every experience that came into your life is guiding you to more of your real you.

W – And an experience that I needed, and that my soul chose, and Okayed….

Y – Yup.

W – Feels like a solemn ending, or pause place for us.

Y – All of this includes light and fun for sure, but heart open and solemn choice and guts is required. It feels like a good note to conclude on or pause on for now, because anyone’s embrace of this is a point of deep choice. Life always brings around choice points, It’s up to us to check the bus schedule and show up.

W – Thank you, Yeshua, for showing up so exquisitely for this series together.

Y – Let’s find other shit to talk about soon.

W – Totally!

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 17: You don’t go through money; Money goes through you

yeshuamoneymadness

Transactions in this currency would not in any way harm or deplete either party, or the environment. The currency itself would be about managing abundance and co-creativity, rather than a currency designed to reinforce the current chosen picture of scarcity. Instead of having your life grounded in deep dissatisfaction and despair, simple hunger and desire would lead to expending our energy for what so deeply rewards and satisfies, moves through you and a natural hunger for more returns.

Wayne – Good Morning again, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Yeah, good morning to you. You seem to like mornings.

W – Always have for some reason.

Y – Are you feeling any better?

W – Yes, I so am. It’s back to the gym today and chasing Jillian.

Y – Sweet, I’m glad for you. Illness may actually be a good thing, but it’s also a good thing to be done with.

W – Not a clue where we might go today, but feeling so juiced from our recent conversations, I thought I’d check in, connect, and see again where we might end up.

Y – I love how we are approaching this, freeform, feeling, following after desire. If you feel your desire today, what does it tell you?

W – I feel its appetite whetted by all that we’ve opened out and I feel an impatience too to embody deeper what we’ve been discussing. There’s a definite impatience created by our dialogue. Part of me looks at my way with my currency and my relationship with money and judges that I am part of the old and part of the new. That part wants to expedite the getting rid of the old.

Y – Yeah, I so get that feeling too. Desire and impatience is prodding and pressing while nature says, I’ll be done when I’m done. All movement in your life is sacred, and movement needs the old as part of the picture. And you need the space to feel how the old held you, was such a deep part of you, what it gave to you. All of that is part of the precipitation of letting go and letting arise what is so powerfully and naturally and unstoppably arising in you by virtue of your desire and permission. This is actually the magic you crave to be in. It’s right now. It doesn’t need a future picture to be valid.

W – Back to that sunglasses thing where we need to dim the power and goodness of the moment because it’s too much to bear…..

Y – If your greatest need is love and there is no shortage of that love, then something else must be at play that creates the picture of your needs not being met, and fear of loss.

W – We choke on abundance. I so get that, Yeshua. We’ve created a money system it seems to reinforce this false reality of scarcity upon ourselves in our every exchange. But why would we do such a thing?

Y – If love really is so vast and fulfillment so infinite, then any deeper level of its experience also lets in a capacity to feel its absence.

W – But you said it’s not absent in reality?

Y – But you only long for what you haven’t yet embodied. You know something more is there, you open yourself to it, you grant it permission to enter your life and then you wait as it at arises more desire and process and movement in you. Its absence is self created and so is its manifesting presence.

W – Wow, Yeshua, I guess I’m just a bit of a change hog. I like change, and I can, of course, feel where I resist it too and fear it actually.

Y – Being in this tension between two is the sweet spot of being in life with desire and love holding you in what can feel like an insanity. You feel the old tugging on you as you enter new territory of your souls’ essence.

W – So what would currency and money look like, Yeshua, that was created in this new arising territory?

Y – Asking for a definitive prophetic picture of what the future will look like can be a resistance to letting the magic of the process simply take you there. Many aspects of that picture will only be known as they are known. It doesn’t begin with knowing where you are going as in having a map to guide you there. You are going somewhere undiscovered and unmapped.

W – We’ll know it when we see it?

Y – You’re knowing it internally, by feeling it and moving with the flow of your life’s calling and purpose. That gives you a signature sense of ‘this is that’ in the moment.

W – Sounds like real adventure.

Y – Totally and now that I’ve made my point of being in the unknown, there are some knowns we can speak of.

W – I’m all ears.

Y – Transactions in this currency would not in any way harm or deplete either party, or the environment. The currency itself would be about managing abundance and co-creativity, rather than a currency designed to reinforce the current chosen picture of scarcity. Instead of having your life grounded in deep dissatisfaction and despair, simple hunger and desire would lead to expending our energy for what so deeply rewards and satisfies, moves through you and a natural hunger for more returns.

W – Complete with really good bowel movements.

Y – Life moving through you instead of you moving through life.

W – Whoa, that thought and feeling keeps expanding and expanding.

Y – Yeah, if you’re looking for a map, that’s probably the best one I could give you.

W – Man, you’re hot.

Y – Life moves through me.

W – Life wants to move through me today.

Y – That should help with the patience conundrum too. Having life move through you is fulfilling regardless of what perceived stage you may be at.

W – Is there a similar statement we could say about money?

Y – Let’s see: …Currency is something that moves through you instead of……..help me out here, Wayne

W – Currency is something that wants to move through me instead of something …currency wants to increase its flow through me….hmmm

Y – How about this: You don’t go through money. Money goes through you.

W – Bingo. That got it.

Y – I’m hot stuff.

W – You’re sexy and you know it.

Y – I know what’s moving through you. Better go find yourself some.

W – Thanks again, Yeshua.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.