Tag: God

The fear of the flow ending is real. The money madness we want to speak to is where we offer that the fear of being out of the flow, inherent in simply being alive, has created a false world. A world that doesn’t appear very false at all, yet is designed to remove us from feeling the inherent vulnerabilty of being human.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua. Wow, where to start today?

Yeshua – Start with what you are feeling. Feeling is current, as in flow. So is money, as in currency.

W – I’m feeling a mixed bunch of feelings actually this morning, more digestions and anxiety around RV living, moving more and more towards community with SoulFullHeart as compared to a more sterile ‘healing offering,’ then I’m feeling some press towards a number of ‘to dos’ for today. I’m also digesting the awkward talk I had with a man over tea yesterday bringing my truth in the face of his unfeeling, brilliant, mental genius…

Y – A ton of content for sure, can you feel a container of any kind to hold it all this morning?

W – Well, yes, I feel my own vulnerability underlying all the change, parts of me seeking reassurance that this all isn’t heading to an undesirable place. That leads me to reach out to the Divine Mother simply asking for that holding and love and care and guidance and energy to respond.

Y – And what response have you felt?

W – So far, I felt a sense of that ‘yes, I am being held.’ And I felt guided to open up our dialogue, to make finding and seeking my way something I do out loud as a gift to others who resonate.

Y – So why care about others when you are feeling admittedly close to the edge?

W – Because all of us are actually very vulnerable to changes. Most of us are too medicated to feel that though. A big medication of choice in my past has been a watertight relationship with money that was about ‘getting ahead’ at all costs, and we’ll give attention to other things when we are elusively somehow ‘ahead’. Living free of this unhealthy relationship with money for me involves a process of being transparent with where I am really at, inviting others to feel with me their changing reality, and giving what I have to give now, instead of waiting for some right time.

Y – And why do it through talking with me?

W – You get right down to business, don’t you?

Y – …No time to waste and all the time in the world. Though I’m leaning towards no time to waste at the moment…

W – I get that me authoring a ‘well written’ book, with a well crafted scope and table of contents, and great arguments, as if the guidance and knowledge I would share somehow came from my superior learned humanity, would be the only way that many people could take in what I have to offer. Me the brilliant author and them the brilliant student/resourcer. But dialoguing with you, Yeshua, instead as a means of giving seems way more interesting to me. Of course, for so many, the very idea that I am talking with Yeshua is a leap that they can’t take……at least, not yet. I’m looking for those who are ready to take this leap. Into themselves. Into new relationality, with themselves, with others, and with the Divine.

Y – Okay, long answer. Where to you put me in the relationality list you just gave – yourself, others or the divine?

W – Hmmm’ 🙂 Where would you like to be?

Y – I asked first…

W – Sometimes you feel like this really cool part of me that has laid dormant for most of my life, that when I get the self permission to just connect with you, I can obtain all the guidance and energy and resource that I need to find my way. In Soulfullheart, we call this part of us our Gatekeeper. But then, at other times, you feel like an Ascended Teacher. One who has returned to source from several earth journeys who at present makes yourself available to help whoever is ready and willing. Then I feel that it is my Gatekeeper, my inspirational muse is the one who likes to connect with you, as the Ascended Teacher. That’s as sure as I can be at the moment, which isn’t mentally that sure, much more so a feeling-based surety.

Y – ‘Feeling-based surety’…you’re feeling a little backed up with all the ideas your throwing around so quickly here. It’s a bit hard to keep on track.

W – It’s meant to be. Feeling-based cognition is meant to interrupt the mind through chaos.

Y – Yes, teacher…continue…

W – What did I get myself into?…okay, I’ll try. The mind seeks line upon line solid answers to afford a sense of security and dependability. The heart which is more an expression of our Divinity needs no such surety to feel safe. The heart feels safe and secure in chaos, for it knows that chaos is never only a death, but always a death and a rebirth. As humans, we are huge expressions of this re-creative force in the earth. How did that sound?

Y – Like major enlightened shit, man. How does it feel?

W – Like I have a lit rocket strapped to my ass sometimes and scary as hell.

Y – Sounds like currency flow to me.

W – Huh?

Y – Being in need, which was your essence since the chromosome and the egg came together, and getting your needs met has been the underlying vulnerability to all of your life. The fear of the flow ending is real. The money madness we want to speak to is where we offer that the fear of being out of the flow, inherent in simply being alive, has created a false world. A world that doesn’t appear very false at all, yet is designed to remove us from feeling the inherent vulnerabilty of being human.

W – Which is another way of saying that all too often the more money one has, the deader they are…

Y – Mostly true, no doubt. The reason though that any soul chooses to come into any given life is to work this fear of death. It’s the underlayer that underlies all the activity of life. It’s even written in the Divine’s essence as well. The divine itself doesn’t believe it has a guarantee of never facing a complete demise, a ceasing to be. Being is such a great opportunity, so it naturally fears loss of the privilege. The Divine lives in the unknown, feeling its own vulnerability, and when we are up for tuning in that frequency, we can get on with some really exciting living.

W – Wow, you just like rewrote the whole cosmos thing.

Y – If we’re going to end the money madness, we’re gonna need to get to the root of some things.

W – Just between you and me, Yeshua, I can definitely feel a part of me who is not so sure we are going to uncover anything.

Y – And I like that part of you, because it’s way more real than a false-self bravado claiming to have some answer. It’s not the one with the biggest answers who wins this race, it’s the one with the biggest questions.

W – Like the child who annoys his dad by asking ‘why’ to every answer he gets…

Y – Except here, you won’t get annoyance. You will get childlike wonder and awe and transparency, and in that, you get trans-parented into a new reality.

W – Okay, there’s the second word created: ‘transparented.’ Are we going to keep a dictionary on these?

Y – I like just launching them instead. Dictionaries are bit boring, to me at least. Words are currency; they are flow. All of them are made up and so is money.

W – Feeling full again, Yeshua. You’re a lot, you know?

Y – I’m a lot? You never stop asking questions.

W – But said you wouldn’t get annoyed…

Y – Unless I do. Conflict isn’t such a bad thing, you know. Way underrated. Conflict is what moves us. Another currency. Feeling-based currency. All currency begins as feeling.

W – For tomorrow?

Y – For the rest of your life.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

 The faster the fixes and the bucks come, the bigger the disillusionment. And rightfully so. This entire epoch of humanity is making a great shift, and money in its current dominant form is a very deep expression of that shift. There’s collisions, chaos, and great destruction coming to the world of money. It needs to come.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua. A clear and warmer morning brewing here.

Yeshua – Hey, Wayne. I like the feeling of that. What’s brewing in you?

W – My mind is definitely wanting to wrap around some of the lifestyle changes that have come as result of shifting from pursuing money to pursuing passion purpose. I’d like to live that, teach that, advocate for that, help others into that. And not just my mind, but my heart as well.

Y – It feels like a wrestling though.

W – It does. There feels like a lot of conditioning to wade through just to find the space to feel this desire, to get beyond the numbness of routine and being in the collective consciousness around it all.

Y – How can I help you with all of that?

W – I’d like to tune in my soul’s purpose right now. I’d like to feel the lessons I came here this life to learn. I’d like to feel the gifts I came here to give. I suspect those two are closely related.

Y – Why is that difficult to do? Why do you need to effort ‘tuning it in’, as you say?

W – I’m going inside looking for an answer to that question,… It feels like I’m afraid of moving too far away from the collective consciousness, that I will somehow become irrelevant and if I don’t relate, then I am in danger of dying and losing out.

Y – Thanks for naming that huge fear, which is extremely common to all men and women, but so unfelt in how much it shapes and leads culture and relationships. And, let me say, there is validity to it. Your life and its needs, needs to be grounded in the needs of others. Needs, Needs, Needs. Being a soul, being a human is about needs. You need. I need. We all need. Every cell in your body needs. Every fiber in your heart wants and needs. The degree of that need in all men and women is evident by the degree that people suppress it into the unconscious as a way to deal with it.

W –  On that note, I want to say that part of me sometimes honestly wonders if I’ve done myself any favors by opening myself out to such large degree to feel this insecurity. It doesn’t feel good, or fun.

Y – I get that. I do. What’s the option, may I ask?

W – Well, for me, I don’t feel there is much of an option. I keep feeling how false the money security world is. I recall how deep the rumbling for something more went in me when I was given to the collective consciousness around money. I’ve felt plenty how isolated I was from relationships, time starved, stuck in a rat race, and sacrificing my heart and my health too. I think, Yeshua, the feeling is a fear of being half born somehow. I relate to the old and the new, and the old isn’t quite gone and the new isn’t quite here, and I’m in the middle somewhere. Living in a leaking RV I might add, that I’m going to be caulking in today’s sunshine.

Y – Thee most courageous guide, Wayne, is not someone who’s done the journey and is now showing others. The most courageous guide is someone who hasn’t done the journey, and is willing to show others how to be in the unknown, as he or she takes that very journey. That’s the true elite.

W – I get the sentiment of that. It goes into my heart. But I also get a judging voice that says I shouldn’t be focused on being some elite.

Y – Tell me a little more about that voice, where does it originate in you?

W – It has to do with others from my past who might judge me for pulling out of my former life deeply embedded in Christianity, that the motives moving me have something to do with a superiority complex.

Y – Okay, then I agree with you. In your words, you shouldn’t be focused on being some elite, but I would add, you do need to be okay with simply living the elite being that you are. A king who doesn’t know he is king is no king at all. He doesn’t get to inhabit his true domain. This really is about worth. It gets into superiority. There is your worth as a human which cannot be more or less than any other human. But functionally…hello…I’d say, you best make yourself worthy to others in some way shape or form given all those raging needs we just mentioned. You’re going to have to come to terms with that superiority judgment, and get into living the elite that you are.

W – Okay, so then how do I find and offer my deepest worth to others, and get compensated for it?

Y – THAT, the first part of that question is the alive question. The second part of how do you get compensated for it, really takes care of itself. We can talk more about that part later. But the question of how to find your deepest offering and how do you offer it – is one huge QUEST. Being on a quest is to be given to the question; heart, soul and body. Your life blood is living into that quest. It begins with saying ‘no’ to what you know it is not. How could you even begin to make room for this exploration when your life is filled with the collective unconscious world of being under the tyranny of money?

W – I felt a bit bratty just then when I asked the question, as if I could get some secret short convenient answer that just unlocks or fixes my dilemma. I feel the whole false world of money is out seeking fixes and fast bucks.

Y – And the faster the fixes and the bucks come, the bigger the disillusionment. And rightfully so. This entire epoch of humanity is making a great shift, and money in its current dominant form is a very deep expression of that shift. There’s collisions, chaos, and great destruction coming to the world of money. It needs to come.

W – Sometimes that feels exciting, but often it just feels scary too. All of us are so tuned into ‘how will I fare?’ in these great shifts.

Y – That isn’t a bad question at all though. It’s a very human one. There are some very practical and grounded things you can do. The cool thing about it all is finding the thing that you can do that is in your personal best and highest self interest and just so happens to be in the highest and best interest of others. That is your most valuable contribution, that will fulfill your deepest needs. To the degree you can’t negotiate this inside of yourself, you are left with living in the collective consciousness fear ground of money. It’s being shaken up right now, but you can still niggle some ‘You can’t blame me’ for your own unfulfillment if you just hang out there. There won’t be any shortage of being in the company of victims.

W – This Quest, Yeshua, is one I know that at the end of my life, I will be assessing how I embraced it or how I shied away from it. All other achievements won’t stack up to anything in comparison,, except of course sex with Jillian. It is the real soul journey. Did I live my purpose? What legacy am I leaving? What I need and want now though is more guidance and juice on how to walk out the few decades between now and then.

Y – Sex with Jillian comes close, that’s so cool. This is meant to be deeply fulfilling and rewarding. You can’t pack this much fun anywhere else in the universe but in this earth realm. It is waiting to be reinvented, so I say, get on with your superiority and get on with your sex life, and your heart-on, and your hard-on, for all of LIFE. Find what you have to give, never stop finding it, give it away in the most effective way that you can. Let this passion arise in you, let it flow through you. Let it reinvent you. Let it kill you. Let it enliven you.

W – Yeshua, you always seem to open out more questions than you seem to solve, but I get that’s part of the new reality. We need much bigger questions that the teeny ones we have now. Thank you for showing up again.

Y – It’s all in a days work, my friend. Thank you for showing up.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

 I feel that love you were referring to is really self-love. Love can only come from a self and it can only come to a self. We’ve made selfishness an evil thing, when the truth is much closer to what we have called selfishness is the result of not having loved ourselves, and we’re attempting to do human life without our heart connected to our mind. 

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua

Yeshua – Good Morning, Wayne.

W – Yeshua, thank you for this conversation. For your heart open care and love. Top that off with giving the mind some guidance and illumination that it has been wanting for a long time, and it is a royal treat.

Y – Who knew that you could go inside yourself and find that? That is really the big lesson here. Money is only and ever an external reflection of your internal reality. Maybe we’ll get into that more today. But before we do, I want to feel a few things first.

W – Sounds good to me. Whatever may they be?

Y – I wasn’t sure myself, I could just feel a wanting to go into some heart ground first before we go mental. Everyone seems to be jacked up on mental answers for their dilemma. I get that. I understand that, as the mind is the primary moderator of life and solutions to problems are sought out primarily from the mind. I’d like to find a solution from the heart that the mind can get on board with. For that to happen, we need to the mind to admit its fear, its exhaustion and its plain old meanness.

W – Meanness?

Y – Yes, the mind can get really tyrannical. Judgments, chaotic thoughts, complete shutdown. It goes from screaming to sleeping and back to screaming. It doesn’t have the answers it needs, and it’s like a cornered animal.

W – Instinctual, you mean?

Y – Exactly. It is meant to support and help, but not lead. When its support and help structure is threatened with collapse, it gets thrashy. And this is where the heart needs to come in and feel. Feel the underlying anxiety. Actually feel the textures of what the mind is feeling as it is feeling it.

W – You’re calling it ‘the mind’ just now, and I’d call it the mental part of ourselves.

Y – I figured you could say this part better, please go on.

W – 🙂 Thanks. I’d like to stay on our thread just now, but I also want to back up a moment and just feel the people who are reading this. How they happened upon your and my conversation. How they came to their particular life dilemma. How they feel about reading a dialogue between a guy and what he claims is an ascended teacher. I want to say thank you for to every heart that is taking this in. Feeling it together. It’s moving stuff in the grids, and if it only moves a single grain of sand on the beach, but that space is enough for hearts to live in and find their way to freedom from the tyranny of money, then that’s pretty wayyy coool, huh, Yesh?

Y – This is so true. Power structures really do collapse when one person makes their way out of the matrix. The rest is just the mop up operation.

W – Yes, now you were saying the mind. I wanted to make the mind a part of ourselves. Feeling it as a part I mean more than how we hear those words used. I mean talking to the part with patience, respect, with making and efforting and holding a connection. That’s relationality with ourselves. We are made up of many undiscovered parts who each hold different feelings about money. These feelings manifest as all kinds of varied money collisions in our lives. Our money is in crisis and conflict because our energy is in crisis and conflict. And this conflict isn’t something to be conquered, but rather embraced.

Y – Wow, we’re hitting some really big points here. I hope people’s minds can keep up with the heart energy. That takes some getting in shape, no doubt. Yes, conflict, external or internal is often…(I was going to say ‘always’, but I’ll let up a bit on the language of certainty) a manifestation of change that is wanting to make its way. Which raises the really good question for someone to take in: ‘How much of the money dilemma you find yourself in is being impacted by an unwillingness to embrace change?’

W – Good one, Yesh. I know this is elementary stuff, but I so need to hear it again. Then the follow up question to that that comes for me is: ‘What would embracing change rather than resisting it look and feel like to you?’

Y – …Ending the meanness by letting in love and grace that you were previously closed off to. This is the inner manifesting in the outer. Meanness inside. Meanness outside. When people find themselves in and under financial tyranny, they can be sure they have a part of themselves, like you said Wayne, a living breathing sentient part of themselves swimming in that tyranny. Only as they themselves are willing to be a loving and patient ambassador to that part of themselves can they ever make a healthy change in what’s happening externally.

W – And what comes after that?

Y – Love is what comes after that, and love is the answer to all of our money problems.

W – My heart agrees with that no doubt, but my mind needs more data to live that out. Can you help me more on that one?

Y – My mind wants to rest just now. What do you feel about it?

W – Well, when you said that, I feel that love you were referring to is really self-love. Love can only come from a self and it can only come to a self. We’ve made selfishness an evil thing, when the truth is much closer to what we have called selfishness is the result of not having loved ourselves, and we’re attempting to do human life without our heart connected to our mind. Now the mind is kicking up a really good fuss, thank god.

Y – Okay, good one, and what that springs for me is how fundamental this is to money. Money is only and ever an expression of our energy in the world, personally and collectively. If anyone is to change anything regarding money in their lives, it begins with going inside. This is true for healthy changes and unhealthy changes. The deal is now about consciously and healthily cooperating with the changes that are arising in our lives.

W – So can we put something practical in here? I mean, how do we do that? Not that what were saying isn’t practical, but I can so feel parts of me and parts of others saying fine theory, but how does that work in real life?

Y – What they are in fact saying with those words is a resistance to change. Understandably so. You aren’t going to get parts of yourself so invested for so long in old ways of being to embrace a new way without long overdue process. The process is patient and kind self love. Anyone who only is seeking a quick fix answer, a solution that affords them the illusion that there isn’t real and deep conflict going on inside themselves is only advocating for the meanness to be left intact.

W – Money dilemmas will either be the death of folks or the rebirth of them.

Y – …your greatest friend or your greatest enemy. You decide.

W – Wow, if there’s anything part of me would like to change about life is the worrying about money part.

Y – But when you feel that, what you are advocating for is a life without needs, which isn’t life at all. Dead men are the only men without needs. And the most alive man or woman is the man or woman most acutely in touch with their needs. And needs wouldn’t be needs if you didn’t lack something. Needing something is about interacting with an other to get what you have need of. No needs, no interaction, no life. Life is about negotiating what you want and need.

W – Whoa, you’re tweaking me again, Yeshua, which gets into why would I think that giving something less than my deepest and most valuable gifts to the world (ie. others) would be a sane way to go? I mean that’s what we’ve been trained to do.

Y – You’ve been trained in giving the least in hopes of getting the most. But ‘the most’ that you get is always tainted by the scarcity energy you gave out on the giving end. Kind manifests in kind. This is nothing less than learning a new way of life. One day and deal at a time. Asking yourself instead: ‘How can I give more of what I have in order to get what I need?’ is the path into this new life.

W – Thanks, Yeshua, need to pause there again. Need a day at least to digest, feel, and practice.

Y – I need a day to get ready for more too. 🙂 Thanks, Wayne.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.