333: ‘Divine Align’ Higher Timeline Opportunities, Next Steps INvitation

By Kalayna Colibri

It’s 333 Day today! A powerful time to feel where you truly are right now, to acknowledge yourself for where you’ve been, and to see the illumination of where you’ve yet to go… it’s a day for conscious creativity, to see how your creativity has expressed, and to feel your intentions for your creative flow from now on.

‘Divine Align’ comes to mind and heart right now, but of course this can be much easier said than done… the journey into this alignment is truly one of exploring and refining your integrity, feeling parts of you that are afraid of being vulnerable and truly admitting when they are out of integrity, and being courageous enough to take those steps into the deeper truth of this.

We are creative beings. We can’t stop creating. There are new opportunities to create and recreate starting from inside of us in every single moment. We have infinite choices in this world of infinite possibilities. We are choosing, always, whether or not we are ready to take the next step into our higher timeline and if we are truly ready to align with the Divinity within. I feel reassurance today that there are no setbacks and there’s no way to really go ‘backwards’ even when parts of you feel like they have.

Your Inner Protector may especially feel like they’ve ‘failed’ you, failed their ‘mission’ to protect you from hurt, harm, and even love when love is catalytic and feels like a tidal wave coming in to shake up your entire world. Yet, even this very powerful part of you does not have the ultimate say as to what unfolds for your soul and the bigger picture of your life…

If you’re up for meeting your Protector today and feeling their story with them, here’s a powerful video and guided meditation from Jelelle Awen that you can take in:

I have felt many times with an Inner Masculine part of me, which once expressed as an Inner Protector for me too, this fear of ‘failure’ and have felt very tenderly, with many tears, all the ways in which they feel they’ve ‘failed’ or ultimately let you, or (sometimes especially) ‘God’ down. It’s a relief to them when you can let some air into the room and remind them that they haven’t…

Today, with this ‘333’ Divine alignment of numbers, it’s another invitation to let in Divine love in this way and let this love rumble even your most defended parts of you, to help you shift from fear to love on a deeper level, aligning you with clarities about your personal service-of-love expression if it’s truly time for that, and bringing you a sense of empowerment in your life that may show you an array of choices you’re invited to feel into.

The Divine truly celebrates YOU today and always… and is inviting you, without a doubt, into your next co-creative steps with It as you become ready to deeply embrace them. ❤️

Much love!


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

SoulFullHeart Millennial Digest: What Is Millennial Spirituality?

by Kalayna Colibri & Raianna Shai


In this video, SoulFullHeart Teacher and Facilitator, Kalayna Colibri, joins with SoulFullHeart Facilitant and ‘Social Media Maven’, Raianna Shai, to digest this idea of ‘Millennial spirituality’. Raianna shares from her personal experience and observations of others around her age. Kalayna shares her experience as well. Together they cover the age range of 23-30 and so they offer much from their different perspectives and what the spiritual world has meant for them and those they’ve known or been friends with.

They talk about the different roles of spirituality, religion and morals in their generation and how this has shown itself in different parts of people, like the Inner Mother and Father, for example, especially if there has been a religious or moralistic upbringing of any kind. Spirituality is something that seems to be being explored from the inside out in the young people of today, whereas in older generations the focus has generally been from the outside in. It really is an invitation for ‘new school’ spirituality to emerge and challenge with love the ‘old school’ spiritual scaffolding and ideas while nurturing a world that is love-focused in a genuine way.

They also talk about some of the challenges of this process for younger generations, as they reach for ideals of ‘tolerance’ and ‘inclusion’ to mend what isn’t feeling tolerable within in the relationship between parts of them, especially as they arise and grow-up in the midst of an older generation with different ideas of how life works and what love IS.  

They hope you join them on this journey and contribute to the conversation with questions and comments if you feel called to!

If you feel moved to ask questions or leave comments, you can do so here on the blog, on Youtube, or on Facebook, or you can email soulfullhearts@gmail.com


About the SoulFullHeart process: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess

Find Kalayna and Raianna on Facebook:




Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Journal To The Demiurge – Day 1

Journal To The Demiurge with Raphael Awen Day 1

By Raphael Awen

I have been guided to undertake a journaling journey of an ambassadorship to connect with the Demiurge. The Demiurge is the Christian male ‘God’, who is also known as Jehovah or Yahweh in the Bible.

The Gnostics, whose writings were discovered in 1945 at a place called Nag Hamadi in upper Egypt, brought to us many new gospels that were not included in the Christian Bible and it was they who, following Platonic philosophy, related to the Christian ‘Yahweh’ as the ‘Demiurge’. This term ‘Demiurge’ is taken from Latin words meaning the ‘artisan, producer, or creator’. This creator of the material world sought to rule with dominance and required duty and obligation as its main offering of how to form a relationship with itself. The 4th century Roman version of Christianity, then crafted Jesus into this need for blood sacrifice required by the Demiurge, leaving Christian followers under a strong dominance of duty and control, aligning quite well with the Roman agenda.

I know the Christian God very well from a Christian perspective, having journeyed through my childhood along with 26 adult years as a devout Christian before I came to finally and openly renounce ‘Jesus as my personal savior’ in 2005, and from there to re-feel my entire relationship with ‘God’ or the Divine.

Please join me now as I feel called to set out through a daily journal journey to create an Ambassadorship from within to meet with and communicate with this Demiurge, Yahweh, or Jehovah.

What will we find? I truly don’t know, but I so want to find out, and I’m being supported to undertake this journey, feeling my trepidation as I go.

Your reading and feeling this journey with me as it unfolds daily will create the vehicle of approach, kind of like signatures on a petition to gain audience with a King. Your participation along with mine, changes the journey, as well as the outcome.

Here is day one, launched on this auspicious solstice day:


Raphael: This is Raphael. I’d like to connect with my highest and most familiar guides, Archangel Metatron and Merlin, my Unicorn, to inquire about guidance to form an Ambassadorship to the Demiurge, or whom the Christians know as Yahweh, or Jehovah. Metatron, and Merlin, will you speak with me?

Metatron: Yes, Raphael. It feels good to connect with you, and with what desires are brewing for you. What are you feeling?

Raphael: This desire has arisen in me in the form of an idea, a mental contemplation, along with a curious desire to explore, and to really change my world and experience, yet further. This idea is expanding to feel like guidance and a calling. Then comes doubts and questions. Do I know what I’m getting myself into? Do I really want to mess with the Demiurge? Then I feel all the lifetimes and time this life I have dedicated to Yahweh, how familiar I am with his temple worship and communities, and it feels quite doable, somehow. Part of me does wonder though what preparations or confirmations I should gather prior to undertaking such a quest.

Metatron: Raphael, this is a worthy quest, and a weighty one. It is worth all the preparation and guidance that you need. It is worth feeling through any and all resistance or fears that come from within, or without. I would be so honored to feel you and guide you every step of the way.

Raphael: Metatron, what can you even tell me about the Demiurge? Are you familiar with it? Do you feel it as a person, as an Archetype, as a collective consciousness? I’d like your take on that?

Metatron: Raphael, if I could answer that, there really would be no need to explore, would there? The short answer to your QUESTion is that even I don’t know. If I did, I could just share with you what I know and voila, problem solved. I am into supporting you and taking this journey with you. I, like you, can feel the Demiurge as a powerful dominating energy that has suppressed humanity and your planet into a sleepy slumber in prolonged forgetfulness. I know that it feeds off of people’s worship and surrender to it, and that it is never satiated, always wanting and needing more like an addict.

Raphael: Like it’s wanting and needing an intervention of some kind?

Metatron: It’s wanting and needing something, that’s for sure. It has been center stage in humanity’s consciousness and subconsciousness seeking immortality. If it is ready to make or entertain change, then that would be so cool to assist it with.

Raphael: It doesn’t sound like you feel afraid of it?

Metatron: I respect it. I know it has power, but I don’t fear it. If I feared it, I could not reach out to it.

Raphael: How is it that you don’t fear this powerful being or energy?

Metatron: I come in service of love, from which all consciousness, even that which polarized to dark or evil energies, gets its authorization. Love is the author of all. My truth is that there is no real evil, only that which hasn’t yet experienced the feeling of love as an energy. If something negative ‘happens’ to me, it happens to me under the authorization and permission of love, for me to learn and feel something that I haven’t felt yet, and need to feel.

Raphael: Is there still stuff you need to feel?

Metatron: Feel and Heal is still the Deal, Raphael. That is the journey back to source. I’m still not sure what happens when and if we are ever done with that, but like you, I’m curious as hell.

Raphael: Hell is curious isn’t it? and so is Heaven. They both want to know and feel more.

Metatron: That’s like the itch of consciousness itself, expressed in every expression of consciousness, including the time and space domains.

Raphael: I’m liking how easy it feels to connect with you.

Metatron: Good, because we’re going to need to get comfortable if we are going to undertake this mission together.

Raphael: Which I haven’t officially declared yet, still baking on the guidance and gathering the energy in my desire body I’d call it, and calling in all favors too from you and Merlin.

Metatron: I’m curious what Merlin has to say?

Raphael: Me too, Merlin, what say you? If that’s enough intro for you?

Merlin: Whoah, a freakin’ journey to the Demiurge with Raphael and Metatron. I’m in!

Raphael: That easy? No concerns or hesitations?

Merlin: What’s there to lose, Raphael?

Raphael: As I feel this QUESTion in your familiar presence and broadcasting energy field, Merlin, I can feel there is a whole lot to lose, here in the earth zone, which we’ve been waiting and wanting to lose for an awful long time, which makes all of the losses gains. I can feel though that life as we’ve known it, personally and collectively, would have huge shifts internally and externally if this were to shift, and this can feel like genuine deep losses for the parts of us attached to life as we’ve known it, regardless of how much suffering there is in what is being given up.

Merlin: Now I’m taking in your broadcast energy field Raphael… I’m sorry for the intense pain you and your fellow humans have felt under the Demiurge’s reign. I don’t get to feel that much as I don’t live in that energy. It feels so sad, now that I feel it….so much time stretched out to magnify this feeling.

Raphael: Maybe, Merlin, what you and I are feeling is being broadcast from the unfelt heart of the Demiurge itself, the emptiness, a universe-sized heart cry expressing in a compensational need to have dominion as a placeholder in love’s absence?

Merlin: THAT,…finding out what is or isn’t true about that would be worth all the worth there is, I’d say.

Raphael: You have a way of making your point.

Merlin: funny, and true!

Raphael: Wow, Merlin and Metatron, as we are connecting about this, I so feel it expanding in me. I so need the journal pieces here, one line and word, one feeling at a time to let this in.

Metatron: What’s going in, Raphael?

Raphael: A desire to undertake this journey…, to gather all the necessary resources and do it. I so feel bored with anything less, truth be told. I’ve lived lifetimes, as well as 26 adult years of life, this life, up until 12 years go, dedicated to the Christian God, and have come to feel suspect of his origins, how he/it co-opted our innate connection to source. All of this moving in me is coming from a recent deepening with my Gatekeeper, named Rhodes, whom I feel to introduce tomorrow, and allow all this intention and desire to bake.

Metatron: This journey is so worth all the time and process it takes. I so want to feel Rhodes take on all this too.

Raphael: How do you feel Metatron about sharing this journey in real time?

Metatron: You are speaking my language now, Raphael. I so feel that it has traction and realness when it is felt and digested in more hearts. This is a big collective piece of wounding and it needs a big collective heart to create an Ambassadorship to it. It’s a collective heartache wounding that can only heal collectively. Without mounting a posse of hearts, there isn’t enough substance to bridge to the dimension where this pain lives. Sharing this with supportive and open hearts will create this.

Raphael: And sharing it publicly also puts it out there for those, human and not, who are invested with the Demiurge to see it too, right?

Metatron: It’s only fair to let them all know we wish audience, to let them acclimate to where we are coming from. Better they see us coming than taking anyone by surprise. We have nothing to hide.

Raphael: I can tell you wish to say something Merlin, you’re broadcasting again…

Merlin: I am?…ah, yeah, that’s what I do, don’t I? The universe is waiting is what I’m feeling. My god! We get to do this…., really. Holeeee! Can you tell, I’ve wanted to do this since my teenage years in earth life. This is going to take me back to where I can’t even know right now. And that’s what makes it so worth it. This has waited till such a time as this, and till such a heart as yours Raphael, could lead the way. We haven’t had the emotional heart porosity that real ambassadorship is about, but we do now, in you.

Raphael: I do have to wade through some 3D senses of myself in order to let in your perspective of me, but I can feel the truth of what you speak to, Merlin. I have journeyed to open my heart out of a conscious hunger for love, and feel called to share this, even enough to self authorize.

Merlin: Which is the only true authority there is, that which flows from the universe and rings true in one’s own heart. No one can certify you in this. It’s either true for you, or it’s not. After all, it’s you that needs to walk it out, not an organization or a governing hierarchy. That’s the way of the Demiurge that we need to gain audience with.

Raphael: Okay, I’m feeling to take this up again tomorrow, to allow this to digest, and to let in more confirmation and guidance. Standby all, and deepest gratitude for this cocreation.

~ Join me tomorrow for this continuing journey! ~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Premise 5: God Is Everything And Everyone


godsurrenderBy Raphael Awen

Welcome to Day 5 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour’ for the awakening heart and soul.

This is a tour of the 21 Premises that make up the emotional and spiritual consciousness expansion work called SoulFullHeart. It’s an opportunity to find out what’s at core of this work, and to feel how that resonates with what’s at your core, or doesn’t. You can read all of my writing on our premises here.

If this is your first day, jump in, and again, welcome. Pick a seat that looks like it has your name on it. I see several that you might like. 🙂
In the four days we’ve already toured, we’ve covered some really important stuff, but you can jump in here, and you’ll know if your drawn or not to go back and read those days.

Today’s premise is called the God Premise. And it goes like this:

“God/The Divine is everything and everyone; each of us is an expression of It with no being any higher than any other. Realization of our God self expression is the ultimate goal of our life and incarnational cycles.”

Possibly nothing is as life shaping as ones’ God picture. We all have one, and no one has any absolute truth on it. Claiming absolute truth only makes you an absolute fool in my view as only a fool can’t see his own lens with which he looks at all of life, thereby rendering any absolute truth he may be looking at, subjective.

This is my current God-picture. It may well change and when it does, I’ll be the first to admit that. I feel this picture more than I believe it. Like everything else I’m saying in this tour, none of it is more than ‘near as I can tell.’ It feels real to me. It is what is moving through me currently as in an electrical energy current.
Let’s take a look at it.

Like we said the other day, everything is energy, and here we’re saying it a little differently. Everything is energy, and all this energy is God. There is nothing outside of God. Even the so-called arch-enemies of the Divine are all within the Divine. All energy is also love’s energy.

This God energy lives in every cell of your being, in every thought, desire, joy, and sorrow. You cannot become any more ‘God’ than you already are in the sense of your essence. Essentially, you are as ‘God as it gets.’ Experientially, however, you and I have a long road ahead of us, as this God-love energy is Infinite. It doesn’t have a beginning or ending, so actually the word ‘long’ in this case is a silly word, so forget I said, that if you can.

I’m liking the idea though of a never ending love journey without a destination. It’s admittedly a bit hard to grasp, but plenty of fun trying.

How about this next piece? No one or no thing is any higher than the other. Whether Hitler or Mother Theresa, all are equal expressions of God in some way that I don’t care much to explain as much as I care to feel it. God (good) and Devil (evil) are all part of God. Both provide contrast and duality as part of God out seeking to explore its Infinity. A never-ending task, but one with many both joyous and painful discoveries.

Much like you actually. Shadow and light both. Joy and sorrow both. Love and hatred both. Until we come to terms with our God picture, we cannot come to terms with a self picture that does us any good.
Leaning on seeing yourself as only a love and light being makes for a really tiring and ungrounded spirituality, as well as making you essentially non-human, uninteresting actually, and without a way to grow. It takes light and darkness to grow.

God is both.

Realization then is this manifesting in awareness what you are. This awareness shift then real-izes one step further shifting and changing its expression in matter. As what you actually are in essence remains unrealized in your day-to-day expression, it is just that, not yet real on your experiential level, even though it is true on your essential level.

This awareness expansion that births essence into experience is the underlying everything in the universe, continually redefining what even the universe actually is.

It’s a vast unknown picture, and our attempts to describe and define it must continually return back to a reverence for Its unknowableness.

I’ve enjoyed a relationship with my beloved Jelelle for eight years and I feel how much, on one level, I have no clue what I’m doing or what I’m in.

That feeling is the awareness expansion. It’s knowing you don’t know that leads to more knowing that leads to more reverence of not knowing. Voila, never ending. (Want a boost in your sex life, try that on for size.)

Whatever is real underneath the often debated idea of incarnational cycles, I see it as simply your soul essence in this never ending God realization. Our ideas of past, present, and future seem to have infiltrated our ideas of past, present, and future lives. Some feel we may in reality be living all of our lives simultaneously in parallel universes. I suspect something like that to be more accurate than our time-illusion-based picture that comes from our current collective consciousness. All I can say about that is get ready for sudden changes here because we are in epic times of consciousness expansion, both collectively and personally.

As you shift in consciousness, you shift unmistakably in the energy frequency you broadcast at and receive at. You become unrecognizable to yourself as you see yourself as ultimately part of the unknowable. You are so NOT John Doe who lives here and does such and such for a living. My God, what pathetic attempts at self description we’ve come up with in the face of our infinite unknowableness!

All of this is a process. I feel that there isn’t a single moment when you ‘pop’ into some place of full enlightenment. Scratch the surface on any community espousing those instantaneous enlightenment pictures and you’ll find all manner of abuse underneath the lie.

You’ll have many pops as you go. I hope you’re having one now. Many manageable and self-loving nervous breakdowns as you leave and enter new virgin territory.

That is my picture of an alive human. And all of nature resounds with it. You don’t need to believe it. Believing is mental. You can feel it with your heart.

Well, how did this tour land in you today? I invite your commenting and connecting.

Jelelle’s Comment: I didn’t grow up with God…in a religious sense, no sunday trips to church, or prayers over the dinner table. Yet, the Divine was always in my heart and in my soul…I found It in nature, I found It in expanded consciousness experiences in my 20s, I found It eventually in the form of a beloved Divine Mother and also Divine Father energy…..and eventually I found It in Oneness and All That Is in tastes of experiences.

My connection with the Divine has deepened over the years and been quite personal in certain phases when I needed that and more universal when that was what I needed. I feel god forms to what we need in the ways that we need It. I have long felt that each of us a spark from the heart of the Divine or a fragment of the Divine expressing as a human being with none of us being any ‘higher’ than any other, even if we are in different phases of our soul consciousness evolution.

There can be much that blocks our felt sense of ourselves as a God spark and a visceral, personal experience of the Divine. These blocks need love, can be healed and when felt, move. Different teachers, different paths, different phases….same destination of reunion with the Divine.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen are co-creators and facilitators of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

Feeling My Spirit/Matter Split (Part Two): Life As An Initiate At SoulFullHeart Sanctuary Blog Series

This is part two of Feeling My Spirit/Matter Split in the Life As An Initiate At SoulFullHeart Sanctuary Blog Series. Go here to read part one.

recovering faith


By Kathleen Calder

My intention for this writing today is to have you join me in a feeling space around what it means to be “separate”. What comes to you when you think about separation? A recent break-up or completion with a beloved? The day your mother/father/other family member died? The day you left for college or moved out of your childhood home in general?

Each movement and phase of life often involves a death and rebirth cycle that can encompass some sort of separation being necessary. Of course the very first separation we viscerally experience in our lives comes at the very beginning – the moment we emerge from our mother’s womb. The very first tears we cry are often in this moment, feeling the separation from our warm gestation place and mourning the chance to be the closest to our mother that we ever will be. For the first time, we can feel sensations in our bodies of a changing need for our adaptation and therefore survival. We are still dependent, but we have exited from an intense phase of being held by something bigger than us. We now must begin to build our muscle tone, our dexterity, and, beyond the physical, we must also start developing our emotional bodies, for once again we have been born into this dense and often difficult environment which we call life on Earth (as we know it today, anyway).

As each new skill learned and new emotion is discovered and felt for the first time, we start to develop a digestive system within us and a new way of processing data that needs less and less help (ideally) from our caregivers as we go along. With each new chapter of our lives, we let go more and more of (or desperately try to cling to in denial of our need for change) those pieces of our life that once represented who we were and can no longer stay with us as we continue to grow. Like a child constantly outgrowing their clothes, we too are meant to outgrow relationships in which the person can’t or won’t make the choice to come with us or vice versa, and the “clothes” (or, sadly and more commonly, armor) we have tried on in order to reflect, avoid, or defend our emotional realities.

We are meant to gestate over and over again and birth out into a new world just the same. We are meant to have help digesting the “food” others give us to help us grow, both consciously and unconsciously. We are meant to cry out if we feel neglected in any way, or as if there is a lack of love flow in our lives. We are meant to ache out the pain of our separation from the original source of Infinite Love in infinite supply. Only then, in my experience, can we begin to feel that though the fog may feel thick sometimes, we are always connected by a Divine umbilical cord. This is not an ideology. To me, it feels like simple fact. And yes, I and parts of me, are still letting that in.

This, to me, is the core of where our Spirit/Matter split lies. It is certainly the core of mine. I truly feel that my soul has been around and around this world and each time that the original and at times insurmountable feeling of being separate from the Divine must be felt through again with the first breaths of a new life beginning, has been harder and harder. At times parts of me have reacted to this by going so far into Matter that it “matters” more than Spirit possibly could. After all, it is the more relatable place to be in for most human relationships…perhaps because deep in our souls and hearts we are aching out the same pain of the original separation and just want to avoid feeling it as much as we can.

There have also been times in my life where parts of me have tried to lean so far into Spirit that the art of responding to life and at least the Matter that really “matters” got waylaid. This over-leaning into Spirit led me into a sort of constant depression and heaviness inside me as parts of me reluctantly walked through heartbreak, loss, and disappointment, fixating on the pain and not the goodness of life, as if throwing some sort of tantrum and saying, “Look Divine Mom and Dad! Look at how miserable I am! I shouldn’t be here! Take me home, please!”

This sort of stark split isn’t the easiest life theme to work. I am grateful to be awake enough to it that I can feel and begin to understand how my parts formed around it and why they have the reactions they do. There is still some deep pain inside me about living out another life on Earth, especially during this dark time for humanity, but at least now I am equipped to feel it through and ache it out consciously instead of having it play out in the same pattern it has until now. Perhaps it will still need to play out in some ways that are similar to how it has done so in the past, but I can trust that if that comes up, there is something more I need to look at and feel about it.

Spirit and Matter may feel like opposites at times, but really they seem to be meant to work together. We are meant to ground into Matter while opening up to Spirit and engaging in all of this with others in conscious and sacred friendship and community. Sadly, not many of us are raised to feel that both are equally important. We wouldn’t need to be here if Matter didn’t have something to offer the Spirit within and around us.

As I continue to write this, I feel how I am writing in the world of Matter through Matter’s means, while connecting to and channeling Spirit. Spirit can come through because of this conduit of “me”. Right now Spirit is communicating through my heart, my brain, my language of English, the keyboard I am typing with, the computer that is holding and hosting this document, and eventually the World Wide Web where these words will be posted. And this is only one way in which to try and communicate what I am communicating.  There are myriad other ways in which Spirit tries to reach us and show us that Matter is not all there is or all we need. Sometimes that message can only come through severe accidents or diseases or just at the very end of a life…but then again, it also comes to us through orgasm, deep connection with others, deep and prioritized connection with ourselves, and each and every time we find ourselves awed or humbled by nature itself in any form.  There is no difference between any of these experiences, except method and form. Spirit is there. Matter is there also. One cannot be found without the other, just as we ourselves are an embodiment of both.

It feels like Spirit has enjoyed expressing through me today, regardless of how deeply it can actually land its message in you through me. I am but one messenger and one pipeline. And in truth, this sense of a split that needs acknowledge and healing is such a sovereign, personal, and sacred process to be in, that whatever path you are walking right now is your own expression of it. Maybe one day our paths will align, and if they do, I will be there to walk this healing path with you in whatever way we are meant to do so together.


Kathleen Calder is an initiate at the SoulFullHeart Sanctuary and you can read more of her writing here on this blog. Please visit SoulFullHeart Sanctuary for more information about staying with us and virtual sessions


Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 20: Letting Yourself Be Found By Love


You think you are seeking love, which is actually part of your avoidance of love. But, Love is out seeking you. The deal is: can you show up for it? Can you let yourself be found by love?

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Hey, Wayne. I’ve missed you.

W – Really?

Y – Hey man, I don’t get many takers for what I have to offer. Most can’t take in the message even if they feel they want it.

W – So what is your central message, Yeshua? I’ve been focusing on your message about currency lately, but is there something else you feel is more urgent or needed?

Y – My central message has always been that you are sacred. You are inescapably and hopelessly a part of the Divine. People get excited about me, but what gets me excited is them and their potential, their awakening to their divinity. But from here, my message flows to what’s current. That’s my current-see.

W – Tell me your current-see.

Y – The entire world has entered a huge birth canal in the midst of a great dying. If you can locate yourself as a sacred part of this reality, then you can find meaning and value and safety in the midst of the deepest and swiftest changes humanity has ever collectively witnessed.

W – This is so much more than I bargained for, part of me wants to say…

Y – I get that, and it’s your job to hold that part of you, because how you hold that part of you determines if you are part of what’s being born or a part of what is dying.

W – You get so serious, so fast, Yeshua.

Y – I’m not as serious as I sound actually, in the way you tend to hold seriousness. Death is, in the big picture, in my picture, all a part of life, all too often though with unnecessary suffering. But suffering isn’t something to avoid. Suffering is something to go through. Suffering isn’t suffering.

W – Suffering isn’t suffering???

Y – Not in the way you’ve related to it. Suffering is movement, not static, unmoveable pain. People who avoid their suffering are of all men, most miserable.

W – I like that. That really feels like a guiding light piece, Yeshua. Find the courage to feel our suffering and be moved by it, be changed by it, see where it takes us.

Y – Suffering as part of your personal currency, your personal power. To suffer is to surrender to the birth, not to enter immovable pain.

W – So then, why are we afraid of our own power?

Y – Your own power always takes you to new places. It’s natural for you to be unsure of the new place. It is a fearful thing to complete a life or a phase of life and enter a new one.

W – So we try and settle for the appearance of a static world, where things don’t change.

Y – And all of that energy only serves to propel the changes even faster. You are in life. You chose it. You chose change. That’s baked in the cake. Whether you enjoy this cake or not has to do with how you relate to it.

W – I know I sure want to feel more at home in this great change. Parts of me definitely feel anxious about the outcome.

Y – You can’t BE in the outcome though, so you can’t experience love and true security when you are not present in the moment. It’s in the moment, as in right now and in right now only that you can feel loved and held. Then from there, you can feel secure in knowing that whatever the future brings, you will access love when you get there. Does that help?

W – Yeah,…so when I’m out of the moment, where am I?

Y – You have placed yourself temporarily out of the experience of love’s reach, where pain doesn’t have any traction to move or take you somewhere.

W – So then, I’m actually more afraid of having love than I am afraid of not having it.

Y – People will do anything to escape love, tone it down, manage it, control it.

W – I get that. Now you’ve made curious about what embracing love would look like?

Y – And that my friend, can’t be put into words, it can only be felt.

W – Better felt than telt, the preacher used to say.

Y – Feeling is what makes the world go around.

W – But if you were to try to put it into words, what would you say?

Y – I knew that was coming. I’ll give it a try, as long as you don’t substitute it for the real thing.

W – I’m down with that.

Y – Knowing and feeling love is the point of all life. All of life is a seeking to know love. Even love’s seeming absence and vacuum is giving place to love’s arising. Your cells are programmed for love. You ache for love. You fear love’s loss. You are a love creature. Anytime you can let in love, and lessen your restriction of love’s flow in your heart and life, you experience essence.

W – Letting in love. That’s such a big contrast to the picture that we are out seeking love.

Y – You think you are seeking love, which is actually part of your avoidance of love, but Love is out seeking you. The deal is: can you show up for it? Can you let yourself be found by love?

W – I want to let love find me and never stop finding me.

Y – That’s why you chose to be here at this time. Let your life as you know it now be rooted and grounded in the great death and rebirth. Give what needs to die to the death and what needs to be reborn to the birth. This is the greatest moment of opportunity that humanity has ever witnessed.

W – And our money stuff sorts itself out from there.

Y – Totally. Most of the time, people embrace lesser challenges as a way to hide their hiding from love. But when you let yourself be found by love, everything you create and give energy to is transformed by love’s lodging in you.

W – I get now why I need days between our conversations. You’re a lot to take in.

Y – Just lessen up some on hiding from love, and you should be fine.

W – I’m gonna test drive that today.

Y – Give it a whirl, man. Love and feeling is what makes the world go around.

W – Thanks again, Yeshua.

Y – My god! You’re so welcome!

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Conversation With Divine Mother: Creating A Healing God And Goddess Experience


Wounded people create a God who wounds them. Healing people create a God who heals them. Even if I do not exist as a “Divine Mother” presence and you cannot prove that I do actually……I exist as an offering from your healing and joyful heart to others. You have created me out of your desire to experience a very different God and Goddess energy from that which you have known for many lifetimes.

Jillian: Hello, Divine Mother..I’d like to connect with you this morning.

Divine Mother: Jillian! Yes…hello.

Jillian: I haven’t connected with you directly in a little while and not on this blog for awhile either after we completed our 60 days together. It’s not so much that I miss you since I feel you around me all the time…it’s that I just enjoy feeling you in this direct form and way through shared conversation.

DM: I enjoy it as well, my daughter. And, yes, I am with you always….in the trees, in the creek rushing by your home, in the birds you hear outside right now, in your love with Wayne, in your orgasms, in your workouts at the gym.

J: I find the feeling of that comforting, even as I get that could feel really invasive to some people. Parts of them would feel like they had no escape or privacy from you!

DM: I am their mother….their divine mama if you will. They were not meant to have space from me. That doesn’t mean that I want to own or control any of you. I do not have those desires in my heart. Yet, I am invested in you all and I am present to you all.

J: Your investment and presence without need to control or own is a difficult thing to let in. The god of mainstream religions is so punishing and critical…judging if someone is a sinner or not; going to heaven or not; saved or not. It’s hard for me to talk about because I feel so far removed from that kind of god, especially since feeling you the way that I do.

DM: Parts of people, their false self especially, need a god like that because it reflects how they feel about themselves; it reflects what they have known as love and connection. We can’t change people’s experience of God until they start to heal their own heart and soul.

J: It feels like you are emphasizing emotional healing even over connecting with you.

DM: Without emotional healing, people cannot connect with me.

J: At all?

DM: A bit….even through the filter of Catholicism, connection with me comes through the energy and face of Mary. Yet, it is still a packaged and controlled presentation of me managed by the corrupt and irrelevant organization of the Church. A trickle of my love comes through, but it is so much less than what is possible!

J: For many people, a trickle of Divine love is more than they can even let in…again, because of what you mentioned around soul and heart wounding. I feel sad when I feel that and a well of compassion in my heart for how the human species is in so much suffering right now, so much of it tied to our heart congestion that blocks your love and our own self love.

DM: Feel your compassion, Jillian, and your sadness….it is important going forward.

J: I’d like to talk about this in our videoblog series today.

DM: Oh, yes, I would like that! I love your videos. It is a more intimate experience of your and Wayne’s energy. And sharing mine with others as well through that medium is nourishing for me.

J: I feel like you have one of your messages for humankind brewing today.

DM: Yes….your heart is happy today and therefore receptive to delivering it without transcending any of your own emotional process.

J: My heart is happy…I’m in joy over my life right now even with the unknowns about money earning, SoulFullHeart providing for us, etc. I’m in joy over the love I experience with Wayne on almost a moment by moment basis. I’m in joy over those I have the honor of serving, feeling their parts, serving them to heal and claim their bigness, becoming who they were meant to be. I’ve earned this joy through the tears I was willing to feel. The things I was willing to give up that were causing unreasonable suffering.

DM: I am in joy to feel your joy, Jillian. And, yes, you earned it through feeling your tears and your pain and giving up anything false that didn’t serve you any longer. It is difficult to have people understand this, isn’t it? They feel your joy and are almost resistant to it? Or they devalue it in some way?

J: I think it’s that their false self is suspicious of it. The false self doesn’t trust joy or goodness or love because they haven’t experienced that it lasts or that they can trust it. Their suspicion is understandable. Also, authentic joy doesn’t hold any value in our culture……it’s an unrecognizable currency.

DM: Yet, this can make for loneliness at times for you and for Wayne?

J: Yes, it has at times. I’m not feeling that now, but I have in the past….especially for parts of me.

DM: Being authentically joyful in a world that is in so much suffering is a beacon, Jillian. Authentic joy that has been earned through feeling the pain in your heart will shine the way for others…provides a light for them to navigate their own tears, their own difficult choices, their own parts.

J: Thank you for offering that, Mother. I don’t want to dim or devalue my joy or any other aspects of my emotional reality.

DM: Being a beacon means that you will draw suspicion and resistance at times…yet you will also draw those who are ready and wanting of what you have to offer.

J: Yes, I have experienced some of both. The resistance doesn’t hurt as much as it once did. I still feel a charge inside of me when I feel it and I want to feel that more with the part or parts of me who feel that. But it doesn’t take up as much energy as it used it.

DM: I can feel that as well inside of you. Perhaps you are not taking it as personally now and feeling more how drawing resistance from someone is not really about you but about their resistance to love that was already inside of them?

J: I do feel that and I understand it because that was true for me in so many ways. For example, part of me held an ideal around romantic love for which I experienced some authentic frequencies with Chris, my first husband. Yet, it was really unknown for me and therefore parts of me resisted experiencing the kind of love that I transact with Wayne….until I had healed enough to be able to be with it.

DM: This is such an important point. I would like to share this more in our vlog today.

J: It’s somehow endearing to hear you say “vlog”….such a modern word!

DM: I am a modern goddess!:) My language matches the times, matches the person who is connecting with me, matches the energy that they most need to feel.

J: This is something I’ve taught about you, but it still amazes me to feel it for myself. Someone could say I was just talking with a part of me and that’s why you feel and sound like me.

DM: So what if I am a part of you? I’m a part of you that offers you real love, guidance, support, investment, and constant presence. That’s a valuable part to feel, no?

J: Yes! Good point!

DM: As we said already, wounded people create a God who wounds them. Healing people create a God who heals them. Even if I do not exist as a “Divine Mother” presence and you cannot prove that I do actually……I exist as an offering from your healing and joyful heart to others. You have created me out of your desire to experience a very different God and Goddess energy from that which you have known for many lifetimes.

J: Feels odd for me to let in that I created you.

DM: Everyone creates their own God experience, Jillian. That’s how personal it is, even though they act like it is not personal at all and is held by someone else or the church or a pastor or a priest.

J: Woah…Mother, this feels big to let in. I feel my heart and soul perk up around it.

DM: People make themselves powerless before a God that they claim they didn’t create and that they let someone else create for them. They also make themselves powerless in relationship to healing themselves because they falsely believe that they are stuck with whatever they emotionally experience about their lives. You are offering a way of life with SoulFullHeart that allows them to find their power again, create and discover their own relationship with God, and their own emotions.

J: Yes, that is exactly what we offer…and without having power over them ourselves.

DM: This is key because it would not work without that being true.

J: Thank you, Mother, for this conversation. I’m not totally tracking mentally right now why it feels so important but I can feel it move through my heart and soul as important.

DM: Good…let it move. And let me move through you today in your vlog.

J: Yes, I will, for sure.

Jillian Vriend is co-creator of SoulFullHeart, parts work facilitator, author of a  book and on this blog, and sacred humanity-Divine Feminine teacher. For more information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, visit soulfullheart.com.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 19: Money Is Actually Chasing You


You weren’t born to chase money. You were born to be. From being and rest and stillness was meant to arise your power and trust and true work. Feeling is what returns you to your natural state of being, rest and stillness. Being, rest and stillness moves you naturally towards giving your deepest gifts where gift exchange naturally supports you and your needs in the world. Money is actually seeking you, you were not meant to seek money.

Wayne – Bit of an emergency meeting here, Yeshua, if we can.

Yeshua – Of course we can. What’s up?

W – I know we said we were going to wrap or pause our series on money in order to integrate all that we covered already, and it’s only been a few days, but I miss you….

Y – I miss you too…

W – And I feel a bit of a panic, a small panic, as Jillian and I looked at our money situation yesterday, some new bills came into the picture and it feels tight inside again.

Y – How can I help?

W – I always feel lately how it’s mostly an old conditioning coming from a part of me that is wrestling with what gets kicked up around a money pressure. I’m glad to feel less fusion and more separation between me and that feeling. That helps a lot. But I still want to help this part of me not suffer so much in the journey I’m taking in making choices and changes that directly affect our money flow. I also feel to transparent this too for others who resonate to follow.

Y – Hmmmm…

W – I also want to have more clarity and guidance for any actions that I need to be taking.

Y – What comes to me first is something I’ve learned from you actually.

W – Really, I could use a reminder.

Y – Anything that you encounter in life that triggers a strong feeling reaction simply needs to be felt. Having a feeling felt instead of just having a feeling is the digestion and healing point.

W – Don’t let me stop you…

Y – Let’s go personal instead of mental.

W – Okay.

Y – Tell me what does the money tightness feeling feel like for this part of you?

W – Well, It feels tight, …squeezed, like some of the goodness of life as we know it is seriously threatened to be taken away. The things that I/we like and feel attached too, especially after all the downsizing we’ve recently done. There’s a fear of being forced into difficult or hard circumstances.

Y – Can you just enter the room of this part of you who still feels these reactions and just be in its reality to actually feel this fear, the textures of it, the powerlessness of it, the hurt and pain of the threat of loss? Can you do that right now?

W – As I just let in this parts’ reality to have real time entry into my consciousness and not to be suppressed by any other part of me who would medicate that pain down, I can feel how the powerless feeling is actually connected to my powerful feeling. I can feel a digestion and a moving of the intensity. It’s been moving some overnight, but I needed to be with it consciously and with your input. I can feel this part of me opening out into trust and relaxation and also an arising empowerment.

Y –  This is the real work, Wayne. Chasing money to support a lifestyle that’s been constructed to keep anyone too busy to feel is just that….a medication to not feel. Working for money is a wimp’s way, someone who has been disempowered to navigate their feelings, their choices, and their life.

W – I’m liking the feeling of what you are saying, but I need a contrasting statement to help me fully embrace it. What would an empowered picture look like?

Y – Choosing to be in life where feeling is job number one reconstructs and deconstructs your lifestyle into movement towards your authentic self’s reason and true purpose for being in life. You do the feeling……life and the divine and your authentic self will bring you the choice points and movements that it has been aching for you to take. You weren’t born to chase money. You were born to be. From being and rest and stillness was meant to arise your power and trust and true work. Feeling is what returns you to your natural state of being, rest, and stillness. Being, rest, and stillness moves you naturally towards giving your deepest gifts where gift exchange naturally supports you and your needs in the world. Money is actually seeking you; you were not meant to seek money.

W – Money was meant to find me…

Y – Money was meant to be a means of value exchange. If you are giving your best value to life itself, life is going to keep short accounts and keep them settled. Money is just a handy way of exchanging value. Now money has been so invested with unfelt feelings of scarcity and powerlessness that its utility as a value exchange is being greatly reduced. But all of that is a collective death and rebirth of what having a life really is.

Y – There’s been so much work ethic piled on to the false structures around money that most are simply too busy to feel and be. Life is relentless though in its invitation to feel and be regardless of the stage of anyone’s disconnect.

W – Wow, so being and feeling is what wins out.

Y – You’ve certainly witnessed this time and time again.

W – I know, but old conditioning is done when it’s done I find.

Y – Feel the leading edge of your being holding and feeling the farthest reaches of your trailing edge. Nothing is more rewarding work. Nothing sorts out your relationship to money like it.

W – I think that gives me the Yeshua juice I needed today.

Y – That was easy.

W – You say so much in one way and so little in another, and somehow it all feels held and addressed.

Y – All part of living an earning.

W – Living an earning…?

Y – I live what I’ve earned. I keep doing the heart and feeling work. It rewards me with a consciousness and ability to be in life in surprising ways, and gives me plenty of goodies to trade to get my needs met too.



W – 🙂

Y – 🙂

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 18: Pressed Out Of The Nest


Pressed, moved, changed. Everyone, bar none, is entering a time of unprecedented pressure and big movement. Kicked or pressed, you decide. You have a lot of say though in where that pressure will take you if your appetite is aligned with the desire of the universe.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Good Morning.

W – Yeshua, I’m wondering if we’ve covered where we needed to go for now, as in pausing soon?

Y – I can definitely feel you digesting a whole bunch and shape-shifting your way into this.

W – I can too. I have an internal experience of a man being between two worlds at times.

Y – How is that for you?

W – Well, it’s a tension for sure. I feel my old orientation and conditioning towards life and money arise, but it’s like an elevator that doesn’t reach the top like it used to. I feel impulses to act in certain directions and then I feel an acknowledgment that I just don’t have the same energy for the particular undertaking,…am I making any sense?

Y – I’m tracking…so what happens next?

W – Well, I rest and breathe some more, which might be busy and active in some ways, but I let the itch bake a while longer. In this new reality, I feel a good kind of rest and peace particularly in the rearview mirror, but looking ahead is where the tension still comes up.

Y – And then there’s what’s actually happening in the present, that you aren’t efforting or orchestrating to your conscious mental knowledge, but YOU are taking the tension of the unknown, insecurities, taking them into your heart where they are transmuted into your soul purpose and calling.

W – I feel that’s true, and yet I feel I want more of that in my conscious reality. Trusting it. Resting in it.

Y – You always want more. I like that about you,… a lot. But I need to remind you of the need to do the outbreath too where you let in the growth you’ve already experienced.

W – An outbreath in order to make room to let in.

Y – Our whole discussion around a new reality in currency and money is one that arises in you and it only grounds into your or anyone else’s life by living their way into it, from the ground of their life as they know it now, including their money circumstances and all of their conditioning around money. It wouldn’t have any traction if it wasn’t being lived into consciousness. That includes feeling the pressure and conflict between an emerging consciousness pressing against an old conditioning. This pressure point, and it living in you, is where the alchemy of change is occurring. It includes then a willingness to feel the part of you who feels powerless as you move towards deeper engagement with your true power. You’ve proven that willingness, Wayne. It’s felt a bit lonely, but that loneliness is the alchemy of leadership that creates the space for others to join in.

W – Okay, that touched me, hearing that last part. Thank you.

Y – Wayne, in your heart, you know you have touched, felt, tried and proven a way of living that is new, alive and aches for its reality to land in others’ hearts. That doesn’t change when you feel an anxiety arise or a pressure point from your older consciousness. Am I right?

W – A hundred percent, …most of the time. 🙂

Y – Being THAT, in real life, however that looks or manifests, but simply letting it continue to manifest in the way that it wants to, by facing all of your choice points, by feeling all there is to feel, and by pausing to appreciate the ground you’ve covered is what takes you to your destiny, which incidentally is figuring itself out too as you go. This is the human experience. This is the real human currency……..the point of being here. The exchanges and transactions inside of you are filled with abundance, appetite, and satisfaction. They then in turn shape and recreate the transactions outside of you, with others. That’s the new economy.

W – I like everything you just said, but I feel an undercurrent of being kicked out of a nest, the nest of our dialogue, and being pressed back into my life.

Y – Kicked?

W – Okay, that came from a more fearful and afraid place. Pressed is more accurate.

Y – Pressed, moved, changed. Everyone, bar none, is entering a time of unprecedented pressure and big movement. Kicked or pressed, you decide. You have a lot of say though in where that pressure will take you if your appetite is aligned with the desire of the universe.

W – Which is…?

Y – What is it to you, Wayne?

W – It is being in a place where I feel myself continually being remembered back into love, feeling and knowing embrace, comfort and peace. Deep self love, deep God love, deep love with others.

Y – That’s a pretty good description of the real energy and need underlying everyone’s relationship with money. The need is so profound that left unsatisfied, it turns up the shit of greed. Both the need and the greed though point us back to our shared essence which is being at home in love.

W – Where we can never be homeless or go without.

Y – Where even if you lacked shelter, or went hungry, you wouldn’t ever doubt that you were and are loved and deeply cared for, and that every experience that came into your life is guiding you to more of your real you.

W – And an experience that I needed, and that my soul chose, and Okayed….

Y – Yup.

W – Feels like a solemn ending, or pause place for us.

Y – All of this includes light and fun for sure, but heart open and solemn choice and guts is required. It feels like a good note to conclude on or pause on for now, because anyone’s embrace of this is a point of deep choice. Life always brings around choice points, It’s up to us to check the bus schedule and show up.

W – Thank you, Yeshua, for showing up so exquisitely for this series together.

Y – Let’s find other shit to talk about soon.

W – Totally!

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 17: You don’t go through money; Money goes through you


Transactions in this currency would not in any way harm or deplete either party, or the environment. The currency itself would be about managing abundance and co-creativity, rather than a currency designed to reinforce the current chosen picture of scarcity. Instead of having your life grounded in deep dissatisfaction and despair, simple hunger and desire would lead to expending our energy for what so deeply rewards and satisfies, moves through you and a natural hunger for more returns.

Wayne – Good Morning again, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Yeah, good morning to you. You seem to like mornings.

W – Always have for some reason.

Y – Are you feeling any better?

W – Yes, I so am. It’s back to the gym today and chasing Jillian.

Y – Sweet, I’m glad for you. Illness may actually be a good thing, but it’s also a good thing to be done with.

W – Not a clue where we might go today, but feeling so juiced from our recent conversations, I thought I’d check in, connect, and see again where we might end up.

Y – I love how we are approaching this, freeform, feeling, following after desire. If you feel your desire today, what does it tell you?

W – I feel its appetite whetted by all that we’ve opened out and I feel an impatience too to embody deeper what we’ve been discussing. There’s a definite impatience created by our dialogue. Part of me looks at my way with my currency and my relationship with money and judges that I am part of the old and part of the new. That part wants to expedite the getting rid of the old.

Y – Yeah, I so get that feeling too. Desire and impatience is prodding and pressing while nature says, I’ll be done when I’m done. All movement in your life is sacred, and movement needs the old as part of the picture. And you need the space to feel how the old held you, was such a deep part of you, what it gave to you. All of that is part of the precipitation of letting go and letting arise what is so powerfully and naturally and unstoppably arising in you by virtue of your desire and permission. This is actually the magic you crave to be in. It’s right now. It doesn’t need a future picture to be valid.

W – Back to that sunglasses thing where we need to dim the power and goodness of the moment because it’s too much to bear…..

Y – If your greatest need is love and there is no shortage of that love, then something else must be at play that creates the picture of your needs not being met, and fear of loss.

W – We choke on abundance. I so get that, Yeshua. We’ve created a money system it seems to reinforce this false reality of scarcity upon ourselves in our every exchange. But why would we do such a thing?

Y – If love really is so vast and fulfillment so infinite, then any deeper level of its experience also lets in a capacity to feel its absence.

W – But you said it’s not absent in reality?

Y – But you only long for what you haven’t yet embodied. You know something more is there, you open yourself to it, you grant it permission to enter your life and then you wait as it at arises more desire and process and movement in you. Its absence is self created and so is its manifesting presence.

W – Wow, Yeshua, I guess I’m just a bit of a change hog. I like change, and I can, of course, feel where I resist it too and fear it actually.

Y – Being in this tension between two is the sweet spot of being in life with desire and love holding you in what can feel like an insanity. You feel the old tugging on you as you enter new territory of your souls’ essence.

W – So what would currency and money look like, Yeshua, that was created in this new arising territory?

Y – Asking for a definitive prophetic picture of what the future will look like can be a resistance to letting the magic of the process simply take you there. Many aspects of that picture will only be known as they are known. It doesn’t begin with knowing where you are going as in having a map to guide you there. You are going somewhere undiscovered and unmapped.

W – We’ll know it when we see it?

Y – You’re knowing it internally, by feeling it and moving with the flow of your life’s calling and purpose. That gives you a signature sense of ‘this is that’ in the moment.

W – Sounds like real adventure.

Y – Totally and now that I’ve made my point of being in the unknown, there are some knowns we can speak of.

W – I’m all ears.

Y – Transactions in this currency would not in any way harm or deplete either party, or the environment. The currency itself would be about managing abundance and co-creativity, rather than a currency designed to reinforce the current chosen picture of scarcity. Instead of having your life grounded in deep dissatisfaction and despair, simple hunger and desire would lead to expending our energy for what so deeply rewards and satisfies, moves through you and a natural hunger for more returns.

W – Complete with really good bowel movements.

Y – Life moving through you instead of you moving through life.

W – Whoa, that thought and feeling keeps expanding and expanding.

Y – Yeah, if you’re looking for a map, that’s probably the best one I could give you.

W – Man, you’re hot.

Y – Life moves through me.

W – Life wants to move through me today.

Y – That should help with the patience conundrum too. Having life move through you is fulfilling regardless of what perceived stage you may be at.

W – Is there a similar statement we could say about money?

Y – Let’s see: …Currency is something that moves through you instead of……..help me out here, Wayne

W – Currency is something that wants to move through me instead of something …currency wants to increase its flow through me….hmmm

Y – How about this: You don’t go through money. Money goes through you.

W – Bingo. That got it.

Y – I’m hot stuff.

W – You’re sexy and you know it.

Y – I know what’s moving through you. Better go find yourself some.

W – Thanks again, Yeshua.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.