Tag: conversations with Jesus

The fear of the flow ending is real. The money madness we want to speak to is where we offer that the fear of being out of the flow, inherent in simply being alive, has created a false world. A world that doesn’t appear very false at all, yet is designed to remove us from feeling the inherent vulnerabilty of being human.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua. Wow, where to start today?

Yeshua – Start with what you are feeling. Feeling is current, as in flow. So is money, as in currency.

W – I’m feeling a mixed bunch of feelings actually this morning, more digestions and anxiety around RV living, moving more and more towards community with SoulFullHeart as compared to a more sterile ‘healing offering,’ then I’m feeling some press towards a number of ‘to dos’ for today. I’m also digesting the awkward talk I had with a man over tea yesterday bringing my truth in the face of his unfeeling, brilliant, mental genius…

Y – A ton of content for sure, can you feel a container of any kind to hold it all this morning?

W – Well, yes, I feel my own vulnerability underlying all the change, parts of me seeking reassurance that this all isn’t heading to an undesirable place. That leads me to reach out to the Divine Mother simply asking for that holding and love and care and guidance and energy to respond.

Y – And what response have you felt?

W – So far, I felt a sense of that ‘yes, I am being held.’ And I felt guided to open up our dialogue, to make finding and seeking my way something I do out loud as a gift to others who resonate.

Y – So why care about others when you are feeling admittedly close to the edge?

W – Because all of us are actually very vulnerable to changes. Most of us are too medicated to feel that though. A big medication of choice in my past has been a watertight relationship with money that was about ‘getting ahead’ at all costs, and we’ll give attention to other things when we are elusively somehow ‘ahead’. Living free of this unhealthy relationship with money for me involves a process of being transparent with where I am really at, inviting others to feel with me their changing reality, and giving what I have to give now, instead of waiting for some right time.

Y – And why do it through talking with me?

W – You get right down to business, don’t you?

Y – …No time to waste and all the time in the world. Though I’m leaning towards no time to waste at the moment…

W – I get that me authoring a ‘well written’ book, with a well crafted scope and table of contents, and great arguments, as if the guidance and knowledge I would share somehow came from my superior learned humanity, would be the only way that many people could take in what I have to offer. Me the brilliant author and them the brilliant student/resourcer. But dialoguing with you, Yeshua, instead as a means of giving seems way more interesting to me. Of course, for so many, the very idea that I am talking with Yeshua is a leap that they can’t take……at least, not yet. I’m looking for those who are ready to take this leap. Into themselves. Into new relationality, with themselves, with others, and with the Divine.

Y – Okay, long answer. Where to you put me in the relationality list you just gave – yourself, others or the divine?

W – Hmmm’ 🙂 Where would you like to be?

Y – I asked first…

W – Sometimes you feel like this really cool part of me that has laid dormant for most of my life, that when I get the self permission to just connect with you, I can obtain all the guidance and energy and resource that I need to find my way. In Soulfullheart, we call this part of us our Gatekeeper. But then, at other times, you feel like an Ascended Teacher. One who has returned to source from several earth journeys who at present makes yourself available to help whoever is ready and willing. Then I feel that it is my Gatekeeper, my inspirational muse is the one who likes to connect with you, as the Ascended Teacher. That’s as sure as I can be at the moment, which isn’t mentally that sure, much more so a feeling-based surety.

Y – ‘Feeling-based surety’…you’re feeling a little backed up with all the ideas your throwing around so quickly here. It’s a bit hard to keep on track.

W – It’s meant to be. Feeling-based cognition is meant to interrupt the mind through chaos.

Y – Yes, teacher…continue…

W – What did I get myself into?…okay, I’ll try. The mind seeks line upon line solid answers to afford a sense of security and dependability. The heart which is more an expression of our Divinity needs no such surety to feel safe. The heart feels safe and secure in chaos, for it knows that chaos is never only a death, but always a death and a rebirth. As humans, we are huge expressions of this re-creative force in the earth. How did that sound?

Y – Like major enlightened shit, man. How does it feel?

W – Like I have a lit rocket strapped to my ass sometimes and scary as hell.

Y – Sounds like currency flow to me.

W – Huh?

Y – Being in need, which was your essence since the chromosome and the egg came together, and getting your needs met has been the underlying vulnerability to all of your life. The fear of the flow ending is real. The money madness we want to speak to is where we offer that the fear of being out of the flow, inherent in simply being alive, has created a false world. A world that doesn’t appear very false at all, yet is designed to remove us from feeling the inherent vulnerabilty of being human.

W – Which is another way of saying that all too often the more money one has, the deader they are…

Y – Mostly true, no doubt. The reason though that any soul chooses to come into any given life is to work this fear of death. It’s the underlayer that underlies all the activity of life. It’s even written in the Divine’s essence as well. The divine itself doesn’t believe it has a guarantee of never facing a complete demise, a ceasing to be. Being is such a great opportunity, so it naturally fears loss of the privilege. The Divine lives in the unknown, feeling its own vulnerability, and when we are up for tuning in that frequency, we can get on with some really exciting living.

W – Wow, you just like rewrote the whole cosmos thing.

Y – If we’re going to end the money madness, we’re gonna need to get to the root of some things.

W – Just between you and me, Yeshua, I can definitely feel a part of me who is not so sure we are going to uncover anything.

Y – And I like that part of you, because it’s way more real than a false-self bravado claiming to have some answer. It’s not the one with the biggest answers who wins this race, it’s the one with the biggest questions.

W – Like the child who annoys his dad by asking ‘why’ to every answer he gets…

Y – Except here, you won’t get annoyance. You will get childlike wonder and awe and transparency, and in that, you get trans-parented into a new reality.

W – Okay, there’s the second word created: ‘transparented.’ Are we going to keep a dictionary on these?

Y – I like just launching them instead. Dictionaries are bit boring, to me at least. Words are currency; they are flow. All of them are made up and so is money.

W – Feeling full again, Yeshua. You’re a lot, you know?

Y – I’m a lot? You never stop asking questions.

W – But said you wouldn’t get annoyed…

Y – Unless I do. Conflict isn’t such a bad thing, you know. Way underrated. Conflict is what moves us. Another currency. Feeling-based currency. All currency begins as feeling.

W – For tomorrow?

Y – For the rest of your life.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

 The faster the fixes and the bucks come, the bigger the disillusionment. And rightfully so. This entire epoch of humanity is making a great shift, and money in its current dominant form is a very deep expression of that shift. There’s collisions, chaos, and great destruction coming to the world of money. It needs to come.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua. A clear and warmer morning brewing here.

Yeshua – Hey, Wayne. I like the feeling of that. What’s brewing in you?

W – My mind is definitely wanting to wrap around some of the lifestyle changes that have come as result of shifting from pursuing money to pursuing passion purpose. I’d like to live that, teach that, advocate for that, help others into that. And not just my mind, but my heart as well.

Y – It feels like a wrestling though.

W – It does. There feels like a lot of conditioning to wade through just to find the space to feel this desire, to get beyond the numbness of routine and being in the collective consciousness around it all.

Y – How can I help you with all of that?

W – I’d like to tune in my soul’s purpose right now. I’d like to feel the lessons I came here this life to learn. I’d like to feel the gifts I came here to give. I suspect those two are closely related.

Y – Why is that difficult to do? Why do you need to effort ‘tuning it in’, as you say?

W – I’m going inside looking for an answer to that question,… It feels like I’m afraid of moving too far away from the collective consciousness, that I will somehow become irrelevant and if I don’t relate, then I am in danger of dying and losing out.

Y – Thanks for naming that huge fear, which is extremely common to all men and women, but so unfelt in how much it shapes and leads culture and relationships. And, let me say, there is validity to it. Your life and its needs, needs to be grounded in the needs of others. Needs, Needs, Needs. Being a soul, being a human is about needs. You need. I need. We all need. Every cell in your body needs. Every fiber in your heart wants and needs. The degree of that need in all men and women is evident by the degree that people suppress it into the unconscious as a way to deal with it.

W –  On that note, I want to say that part of me sometimes honestly wonders if I’ve done myself any favors by opening myself out to such large degree to feel this insecurity. It doesn’t feel good, or fun.

Y – I get that. I do. What’s the option, may I ask?

W – Well, for me, I don’t feel there is much of an option. I keep feeling how false the money security world is. I recall how deep the rumbling for something more went in me when I was given to the collective consciousness around money. I’ve felt plenty how isolated I was from relationships, time starved, stuck in a rat race, and sacrificing my heart and my health too. I think, Yeshua, the feeling is a fear of being half born somehow. I relate to the old and the new, and the old isn’t quite gone and the new isn’t quite here, and I’m in the middle somewhere. Living in a leaking RV I might add, that I’m going to be caulking in today’s sunshine.

Y – Thee most courageous guide, Wayne, is not someone who’s done the journey and is now showing others. The most courageous guide is someone who hasn’t done the journey, and is willing to show others how to be in the unknown, as he or she takes that very journey. That’s the true elite.

W – I get the sentiment of that. It goes into my heart. But I also get a judging voice that says I shouldn’t be focused on being some elite.

Y – Tell me a little more about that voice, where does it originate in you?

W – It has to do with others from my past who might judge me for pulling out of my former life deeply embedded in Christianity, that the motives moving me have something to do with a superiority complex.

Y – Okay, then I agree with you. In your words, you shouldn’t be focused on being some elite, but I would add, you do need to be okay with simply living the elite being that you are. A king who doesn’t know he is king is no king at all. He doesn’t get to inhabit his true domain. This really is about worth. It gets into superiority. There is your worth as a human which cannot be more or less than any other human. But functionally…hello…I’d say, you best make yourself worthy to others in some way shape or form given all those raging needs we just mentioned. You’re going to have to come to terms with that superiority judgment, and get into living the elite that you are.

W – Okay, so then how do I find and offer my deepest worth to others, and get compensated for it?

Y – THAT, the first part of that question is the alive question. The second part of how do you get compensated for it, really takes care of itself. We can talk more about that part later. But the question of how to find your deepest offering and how do you offer it – is one huge QUEST. Being on a quest is to be given to the question; heart, soul and body. Your life blood is living into that quest. It begins with saying ‘no’ to what you know it is not. How could you even begin to make room for this exploration when your life is filled with the collective unconscious world of being under the tyranny of money?

W – I felt a bit bratty just then when I asked the question, as if I could get some secret short convenient answer that just unlocks or fixes my dilemma. I feel the whole false world of money is out seeking fixes and fast bucks.

Y – And the faster the fixes and the bucks come, the bigger the disillusionment. And rightfully so. This entire epoch of humanity is making a great shift, and money in its current dominant form is a very deep expression of that shift. There’s collisions, chaos, and great destruction coming to the world of money. It needs to come.

W – Sometimes that feels exciting, but often it just feels scary too. All of us are so tuned into ‘how will I fare?’ in these great shifts.

Y – That isn’t a bad question at all though. It’s a very human one. There are some very practical and grounded things you can do. The cool thing about it all is finding the thing that you can do that is in your personal best and highest self interest and just so happens to be in the highest and best interest of others. That is your most valuable contribution, that will fulfill your deepest needs. To the degree you can’t negotiate this inside of yourself, you are left with living in the collective consciousness fear ground of money. It’s being shaken up right now, but you can still niggle some ‘You can’t blame me’ for your own unfulfillment if you just hang out there. There won’t be any shortage of being in the company of victims.

W – This Quest, Yeshua, is one I know that at the end of my life, I will be assessing how I embraced it or how I shied away from it. All other achievements won’t stack up to anything in comparison,, except of course sex with Jillian. It is the real soul journey. Did I live my purpose? What legacy am I leaving? What I need and want now though is more guidance and juice on how to walk out the few decades between now and then.

Y – Sex with Jillian comes close, that’s so cool. This is meant to be deeply fulfilling and rewarding. You can’t pack this much fun anywhere else in the universe but in this earth realm. It is waiting to be reinvented, so I say, get on with your superiority and get on with your sex life, and your heart-on, and your hard-on, for all of LIFE. Find what you have to give, never stop finding it, give it away in the most effective way that you can. Let this passion arise in you, let it flow through you. Let it reinvent you. Let it kill you. Let it enliven you.

W – Yeshua, you always seem to open out more questions than you seem to solve, but I get that’s part of the new reality. We need much bigger questions that the teeny ones we have now. Thank you for showing up again.

Y – It’s all in a days work, my friend. Thank you for showing up.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

 I feel that love you were referring to is really self-love. Love can only come from a self and it can only come to a self. We’ve made selfishness an evil thing, when the truth is much closer to what we have called selfishness is the result of not having loved ourselves, and we’re attempting to do human life without our heart connected to our mind. 

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua

Yeshua – Good Morning, Wayne.

W – Yeshua, thank you for this conversation. For your heart open care and love. Top that off with giving the mind some guidance and illumination that it has been wanting for a long time, and it is a royal treat.

Y – Who knew that you could go inside yourself and find that? That is really the big lesson here. Money is only and ever an external reflection of your internal reality. Maybe we’ll get into that more today. But before we do, I want to feel a few things first.

W – Sounds good to me. Whatever may they be?

Y – I wasn’t sure myself, I could just feel a wanting to go into some heart ground first before we go mental. Everyone seems to be jacked up on mental answers for their dilemma. I get that. I understand that, as the mind is the primary moderator of life and solutions to problems are sought out primarily from the mind. I’d like to find a solution from the heart that the mind can get on board with. For that to happen, we need to the mind to admit its fear, its exhaustion and its plain old meanness.

W – Meanness?

Y – Yes, the mind can get really tyrannical. Judgments, chaotic thoughts, complete shutdown. It goes from screaming to sleeping and back to screaming. It doesn’t have the answers it needs, and it’s like a cornered animal.

W – Instinctual, you mean?

Y – Exactly. It is meant to support and help, but not lead. When its support and help structure is threatened with collapse, it gets thrashy. And this is where the heart needs to come in and feel. Feel the underlying anxiety. Actually feel the textures of what the mind is feeling as it is feeling it.

W – You’re calling it ‘the mind’ just now, and I’d call it the mental part of ourselves.

Y – I figured you could say this part better, please go on.

W – 🙂 Thanks. I’d like to stay on our thread just now, but I also want to back up a moment and just feel the people who are reading this. How they happened upon your and my conversation. How they came to their particular life dilemma. How they feel about reading a dialogue between a guy and what he claims is an ascended teacher. I want to say thank you for to every heart that is taking this in. Feeling it together. It’s moving stuff in the grids, and if it only moves a single grain of sand on the beach, but that space is enough for hearts to live in and find their way to freedom from the tyranny of money, then that’s pretty wayyy coool, huh, Yesh?

Y – This is so true. Power structures really do collapse when one person makes their way out of the matrix. The rest is just the mop up operation.

W – Yes, now you were saying the mind. I wanted to make the mind a part of ourselves. Feeling it as a part I mean more than how we hear those words used. I mean talking to the part with patience, respect, with making and efforting and holding a connection. That’s relationality with ourselves. We are made up of many undiscovered parts who each hold different feelings about money. These feelings manifest as all kinds of varied money collisions in our lives. Our money is in crisis and conflict because our energy is in crisis and conflict. And this conflict isn’t something to be conquered, but rather embraced.

Y – Wow, we’re hitting some really big points here. I hope people’s minds can keep up with the heart energy. That takes some getting in shape, no doubt. Yes, conflict, external or internal is often…(I was going to say ‘always’, but I’ll let up a bit on the language of certainty) a manifestation of change that is wanting to make its way. Which raises the really good question for someone to take in: ‘How much of the money dilemma you find yourself in is being impacted by an unwillingness to embrace change?’

W – Good one, Yesh. I know this is elementary stuff, but I so need to hear it again. Then the follow up question to that that comes for me is: ‘What would embracing change rather than resisting it look and feel like to you?’

Y – …Ending the meanness by letting in love and grace that you were previously closed off to. This is the inner manifesting in the outer. Meanness inside. Meanness outside. When people find themselves in and under financial tyranny, they can be sure they have a part of themselves, like you said Wayne, a living breathing sentient part of themselves swimming in that tyranny. Only as they themselves are willing to be a loving and patient ambassador to that part of themselves can they ever make a healthy change in what’s happening externally.

W – And what comes after that?

Y – Love is what comes after that, and love is the answer to all of our money problems.

W – My heart agrees with that no doubt, but my mind needs more data to live that out. Can you help me more on that one?

Y – My mind wants to rest just now. What do you feel about it?

W – Well, when you said that, I feel that love you were referring to is really self-love. Love can only come from a self and it can only come to a self. We’ve made selfishness an evil thing, when the truth is much closer to what we have called selfishness is the result of not having loved ourselves, and we’re attempting to do human life without our heart connected to our mind. Now the mind is kicking up a really good fuss, thank god.

Y – Okay, good one, and what that springs for me is how fundamental this is to money. Money is only and ever an expression of our energy in the world, personally and collectively. If anyone is to change anything regarding money in their lives, it begins with going inside. This is true for healthy changes and unhealthy changes. The deal is now about consciously and healthily cooperating with the changes that are arising in our lives.

W – So can we put something practical in here? I mean, how do we do that? Not that what were saying isn’t practical, but I can so feel parts of me and parts of others saying fine theory, but how does that work in real life?

Y – What they are in fact saying with those words is a resistance to change. Understandably so. You aren’t going to get parts of yourself so invested for so long in old ways of being to embrace a new way without long overdue process. The process is patient and kind self love. Anyone who only is seeking a quick fix answer, a solution that affords them the illusion that there isn’t real and deep conflict going on inside themselves is only advocating for the meanness to be left intact.

W – Money dilemmas will either be the death of folks or the rebirth of them.

Y – …your greatest friend or your greatest enemy. You decide.

W – Wow, if there’s anything part of me would like to change about life is the worrying about money part.

Y – But when you feel that, what you are advocating for is a life without needs, which isn’t life at all. Dead men are the only men without needs. And the most alive man or woman is the man or woman most acutely in touch with their needs. And needs wouldn’t be needs if you didn’t lack something. Needing something is about interacting with an other to get what you have need of. No needs, no interaction, no life. Life is about negotiating what you want and need.

W – Whoa, you’re tweaking me again, Yeshua, which gets into why would I think that giving something less than my deepest and most valuable gifts to the world (ie. others) would be a sane way to go? I mean that’s what we’ve been trained to do.

Y – You’ve been trained in giving the least in hopes of getting the most. But ‘the most’ that you get is always tainted by the scarcity energy you gave out on the giving end. Kind manifests in kind. This is nothing less than learning a new way of life. One day and deal at a time. Asking yourself instead: ‘How can I give more of what I have in order to get what I need?’ is the path into this new life.

W – Thanks, Yeshua, need to pause there again. Need a day at least to digest, feel, and practice.

Y – I need a day to get ready for more too. 🙂 Thanks, Wayne.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

It’s like having ten loaves of really fresh bread on hand when you know you can only consume one. Hoarding them isn’t an option. Giving them away sows the seed of your trust in a providing universe. It’s imperative then to find folks who can use a fresh loaf of bread or two as soon as possible. Hoarding them leaves them to go to waste and serves only to heighten your fears of ever finding a benevolent and caring universe.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Hey, Wayne. Hello, how are you today?

W – I’d say I’m doing pretty well, actually. There’s a bit of morning fog in my field, and I’m sure I’ll be surprised by where we go today.

Y – So you’re hoping that I’m going to help you wake up?

W – Something like that. 🙂 I’m finding these last few days in dialoguing with you and sharing that with others…..doesn’t, on one hand, always feel like the most opportune time, with other stuff calling for my attention or not feeling super inspired like part of me imagined I should feel before I sit down to write. But, on the other hand, it is simply the choice, the heart, and the intention that opens it out for me. Did that make any sense?

Y – Makes a ton of sense to me. Letting your wanter, your heart, and feeling lead over thinking.

W – And I also get something about withholding what we have to give while we wait for a time when it feels better somehow to be giving.

Y – What is it that you get about that?

W – Hmmm, well, I certainly am not advocating for ‘shoulding’ ourselves about what, when, and how we should be giving our gifts. Okay, now the fog is clearing some more. What I felt was that my desire for more – whether it’s for more healing, more love, more resources, more people as in meaningful relationships in my life – is served by giving away some of what I already have. I need an outlet in order to find my inlet.

Y – Well said, Wayne. It’s like having ten loaves of really fresh bread on hand when you know you can only consume one. Hoarding them isn’t an option. Giving them away sows the seed of your trust in a providing universe. It’s imperative then to find folks who can use a fresh loaf of bread or two as soon as possible. Hoarding them leaves them to go to waste and serves only to heighten your fears of ever finding a benevolent and caring universe.

W – I get that. It’s really amazing to feel the freshness and goodness that can come out of my bakery! Part of me is still surprised that it’s actually in there to give, and that I’m not depleted by giving it away, but rather expanded.

Y – What’s the expansion?

W – The whole world, or my whole world recreates itself, gradually for sure…to a world of ‘I can have a lot of fun giving what I have to give and getting what I need in return.’ The fears of going without begin to dissipate. If I do face a deep financial crisis where I’m stuck to afford food or shelter, I hope that I could still be giving what I have to give and trusting in the Divine that I am being held and loved and cared for. I can go through anything with that kind of love it feels like.

Y – We are so talking about currency right now, you know.

W – I so get that.

Y – Amazing, huh?

W – Totally. 🙂

Y – Love is the real currency. Fear is also a real currency. Money is only and ever a reflection of that.

W – Whoa, now you’re going deep on me, Yesh.

Y – Time to wake up, man, we’ve got shit to do.

W – I’m on it. Jillian just handed me some food.

Y – Withholding what you have to give because you fear going without ‘currents’ fear and scarcity. It shapes the world inside of you and outside of you in scarcity.

W – Which really hurts.

Y – Big time hurts. Fear is a contraction of the heart. Whether or not the world is a loving place isn’t even a question, as the closed heart sees and feels only the option of scarcity and pain.

W – I feel some brilliance coming on…just needed to warn you.

Y – Give ‘er.

W – The money system we created where money is hoarded like bread or tomatoes yet doesn’t go stale, but instead increases in value through earned interest in a bank account, was an attempt to baptize our collective fear into a love creation.

Y – When the truth is actually the opposite: the larger their bank account, the farther removed most people get from feeling themselves being held in a loving and providing universe. They were designed to feel loved and held, to not be in worry and scarcity.

W – For the most of us, when we imagine feeling loved and held, having a big whack of money is the deal.

Y – Again, the truth is actually the opposite. Having and hoarding a big whack of money is what insulates people in their fear and scarcity and cuts them off from knowing and feeling love. It’s no different than you sitting on a relationality gold mine with yourself, Jillian and a few others, and the divine and thinking you can keep that alive and to yourself. It doesn’t work that way. It dies that way actually. You have to trade in the currency that you desire more of. Currency isn’t currency until it flows.

W – And our current money system is hitting a wall inside of itself. It’s always said that consumer confidence is what makes the economy be in good shape, but when the system is crafted in fear and scarcity and relies on ‘confidence’ to make it all go, that’s by definition insanity.

Y – …told you we had shit to do.

W – I was just imagining myself with those 9 extra loaves and a desire to find folks who could use them. I wouldn’t get picky of course; I’d just go out and find the first folks I could that would be happy to have them.

Y – All you would need to make that happen is their trust in you and their need.

W – Say more.

Y – They would need to trust that you didn’t have any ulterior motives, that you simply didn’t want to see your extra loaves go to waste, and that you would find joy and relief in seeing them go to someone. And of course they would also need to be able to use the bread. Trust and need makes the currency flow.

W – So then, If I have an abundance of trust and need, then what?

Y – You tell me…

W – I really don’t know in the moment, but I suspect that I would be much closer to having true wealth, that my fear of poverty is based in an actual poverty inside of myself. Somehow, when I am out of touch with my truster and needer, I am out of touch with myself and others. I am truly isolated and unknown, even if I hold a big bank account.

Y – And isolated and unknown is having no currency. Having no currency is death.

W – Whoa, this is a lot to track, Yeshua. It opens a ton of questions.

Y – And it sticks dynamite under the inherent falseness in the current money system. Money as you currently know it is in flow too. It’s flowing though a huge crucible. It’s going through a huge death and rebirth as we speak. It’s a timing that cannot be stopped. Humanity has simply earned and learned its way here.

W – I feel that, Yeshua. Actually, most days, I check the news in the morning and am a bit surprised to see that it hasn’t fallen apart while I was sleeping, and a bit grateful too as it affords me more time to adjust and live into the change. I’m still quite attached to the groceries my money can buy.

Y – This is like a great fuel conversion of your being from running on fear and scarcity to running on trust, need and love. All the interior work you do inside yourself is what you enables you to live out the external changes, with grounded heart and creativity, and even adventure. If life is anything, it is meant to be adventure. The advent of something new. Not even your current money systems could hold this back, though they tried.

W – I’m awake now.

Y – Me too.

W – What now?

Y – Go live your life, Man. Live it from the heart. Go stir up some real trust and need.

W – Thank you, Yeshua. I feel how I need life today to take this in.

Y – Life is the currency and the flow. Life is meant to only and always bring you more of you, more love, more abundance.

W – You’re hot stuff, man.

Y – Me? I better put the fire department on alert about you?

W – Hey, that’s my line.

Y – I know, I like it.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Money is born out of the depths of our self perception. Folks convinced of their need to control and folks convinced of their need to be moderated in control gave rise to the current predominant money systems. No victims here. It was all co-created.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua. I’m feeling more awake today.

Yeshua – Hey, why’s that?

W – Not sure really, some really good chocolate after dinner last night, and some fun squash with Christopher before that. Morning cuddles with Jillian already too.

Y – You’re just a glutton for pleasure. 🙂

W – Sure am, got it from you.

Y – We were talking yesterday about the need for getting in touch with your needs: how that is what makes you fully alive. What comes next is a willingness to get in deeper touch with what truly brings you pleasure. The universe, the divine, and life is not some sadist toying with our supposedly sinful nature. We adopted this view collectively out of our evolution and phases as a species discovering what we are not. You are now on the doorstep and just inside of the phase of healing the split between your humanity and your divinity. And money will be front and central in that healing.

W – There you go putting books in paragraphs again.

Y – You said you were awake.

W – Let’s start with the pleasure piece. Most folks wouldn’t agree that they have any problems with pleasure.

Y – But that is only true inside of the charade of the pleasures they have constructed to tell themselves that their chosen pleasures are enough. All in attempt to moderate their wanter into deadness. They’ve been subscribed to the lie that their problem is the never ending wanter. Is visiting a hooker or getting all jacked up on porn really a pleasurable experience?

W – Not for long really. I’ve certainly tried the porn experience and it can thaw out some frozen sexuality, but from there, the benefits taper off fast.

Y – Exactly. So why do people work so hard to make it enough?

W – You gave me that answer already: to govern their wanter.

Y – What else?

W – Fear of intimacy?

Y – Bingo. Big one, my friend. Look at that so called oldest profession in the world for a moment again. Money in exchange for services. It’s all about anonymity. I’ve paid you, you’ve performed the agreed services. We’re done. Little washing up. Clothes back on. No more obligations. No more ties. And all of that is about the fear of intimacy. Why would that be, Wayne?

W – Because intimacy, we fear will be the death of us…and rightfully so, because no intimacy leaves anyone of us unchanged. Something in us dies and something in us comes to new life in intimacy. Something like that is what comes to mind. Intimacy is a current.

Y – You’re on it, I’d say. Letting out all of your appetites into the world is vulnerable. It takes healing and growth and negotiation with the parts of you who will have nothing to do with it. Getting to the new world with an outed heart-on emotionally and a hard-on sexually is a journey worth taking. And no woman who saw that would ever exchange money for sex again.

W – What’s up with you and all the sexual metaphors, Yesh?

Y – I know, Magdalene and I really opened up some things. Things off the charts really, that I’m still digesting. I may be due for another earth life soon.

W – Sure sounds like it to me.

Y – In fact, earth life is the heaven. Earthlings always dream of heaven, and heavenlings always dream of earth.

W – My ears are wide open.

Y – Earth is so much the true heaven. When you stop to feel it, you can feel why people have been bent on raping it. Whoa, another sexual metaphor. I see what you mean about me coming back to sex a lot today. Okay, point taken. As I was saying, rape is the product of buried longing. You perceive you cannot have what you long for. You take what you fear you will never get, and in the process cut yourself off from knowing the depths of its pleasures.

W – I’ve always felt really sad for the rapist doing life on death row. Society likes to heap scorn on him. But it feels like, again, that that is a product of the split between our humanity and our divinity.

Y – It’s really fucked up in more ways than one. It’s a lot to feel. Most avoid feeling this split and take to raging at the offenders as a way to manage their deadness, and to manage their own offense to life itself. The only way we can live with feeling life at this depth is to feel that it is all on the path to living into and feeling what we are not in order to comes to terms with and take responsibility for what we are.

W – What are we, Yeshua?

Y – You are the divine out divining. Every last one of you. Nothing less. Ever.

W – And till we come to terms with that answer, our money systems will always and forever reflect something else.

Y – Totally. Money is born out of the depths of our self perception. Folks convinced of their need to control and folks convinced of their need to be moderated in control gave rise to the current predominant money systems. No victims here. It was all co-created.

W – Whoa, Yeshua, those are maybe the biggest fight picking words yet. ‘No victims here.’ Most folks are busy pointing the fingers at the greedy one percenters.

Y – Yeah, while they continue with religious, full-on, cult-like devotion giving their money, their time, their intimacy, and their life to them.

W – Phewww…whoa, you can sure come on strong.

Y – So can you, man. There’s some real pleasure for you, huh?

W – Orgasmic, man!

Y – You only walk your way out of a jungle the same way you came in. One sacred step at a time. Each step is powerful and meaningful, and, just so you know, there isn’t really an ‘out’ of the jungle because you, like the Divine, are in a never ending discovery of itself. One vista only calls to the next.

W – We’re back to the funnest fun again.

Y – Don’t forget your fun-o-meter in your backpack, as your inner child part named Marvin would say. I feel him in this. Is he here?

Marvin – Hey, Yeshua, I’m totally here. I miss you, Man.

Y – There you are. I’m so glad you are in this deal. Wayne needs you. And I need you.

M – I’m glad you are that cool with me being a part of Wayne, and I feel a bit self conscious being outed like this. Most folks don’t let their inner child out to play, or sadly even acknowledge that they have one.

Y – I feel both your loneliness and your courage to be outed. I honour both, Marvin. You are certainly one of my heros.

M – Okay, that’s a lot to take in. I’m one of Yeshua’s heroes.

Y – Can I tell you why that’s true?

W – Okay…

Y – You were willing to say out loud what you wanted, what you weren’t getting, and you were willing to live into the consequences of that. A true hero is nothing more and nothing less.

M – Thank you, Yeshua. That touches me as deeply as I‘ve ever felt touched. I’ll see if I can keep letting that in.

Y – You know you’re becoming like this inner grown up kind of child. Bent on having fun in the most meaningful and profound way. I’m waiting for you write a book or two.

M – I had a book title in mind for a long time called ‘Near as I can tell’ about my journey through Christianity.

Y – I get that. Sounds too humble though. I think you should write a book called ‘This is the Way It is!’ and maybe subtitle it in much smaller print ‘near as I can tell.’ :). You’ve earned that.

M – Okay, I’ll brew on that some. It’s funny, Yesh, all that talking with God and here I am now talking with you.

Y – Never ending journey, huh?

M – Totally. Thanks, Yeshua.

Wayne – My appetites are calling, Yesh. Let’s pause here, digest, and come back for more soon.

Y- I’m with Marvin. Totally. 🙂

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

That feeling of wanting to be self sufficiently happy is something very big sown into the collective, born there out of our historically deepest conceptions of ourselves and god, or God, where the fear recoil solution was and still is mostly to seek self sufficiency. In other words, to defeat this enemy called, ‘need.’ One of the big expressions of this is financial security. 

Wayne – Hey, Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Where are we off to today?

W – We’re supposed to be ending money madness. That feels like such a big task in the moment. I feel like I just want to veg out on something totally unrelated.

Y – Maybe you need a day to breathe and digest?

W – I was wondering about that too.

Y – No pressure on my end.

W – If you don’t feel urgent and I don’t feel urgent, isn’t something going to fall through the cracks?

Y – Desire and creativity arise from feeling all there is to feel. This is where I like to feel that there is all the time in the world. What else is time for?

W – So you’re saying to ‘feel into’ my lack of interest this morning…?

Y – Only if you want to……but yes.

W – When I feel into the disinterested feeling today, I feel I want more real connection with people. Now, those words are no sooner out of my mouth and I hear a voice saying to be grateful for the connection I have with Jillian and the small group of us in SoulFullHeart. Point taken, big time. I do. Then my feeling goes onto feeling how I want more connection for Soulfullheart to have with the world.

Y – What’s the feeling underneath that?

W – I, or part of me, feels isolated, it feels like. And that isn’t fun to feel. I feel how I am offering this writing with you from an island. An island that’s really good in some ways and has a down side in other ways.

Y – What if what you are feeling has a lot to do with something very large in the collective that isn’t being felt?

W – Please, help me out a bit?

Y – Feel into it and tell me what you feel.

W – Yes, I feel that having needs and being willing to own and feel those needs, in the way we’ve been discussing, prompts a recoil into myself kind of feeling. I don’t want to need anyone. I want to be self sufficient. ‘Self-sufficiently happy,’ whatever that may be. It’s a disconnect from needing, from feeling and from others.

Y – That feeling of wanting to be self sufficiently happy is something very big sown into the collective, born there out of our historically deepest conceptions of ourselves and god, or God, where the fear recoil solution was and still is mostly to seek self sufficiency. In other words, to defeat this enemy called, ‘need.’ One of the big expressions of this is financial security. But even ‘financial security’ is a lie, just ask the folks at the top with the most of it. Having all the money in the world would actually make it completely worthless, and serve only to heighten this fear of our own needs. There would be no one to trade with. Holding a big security of money isn’t as self sufficient as it looks at all. It relies on a very delicate cooperation around enough people not interfering with the agreement that having money is to ensure predictability and reliability.

W – Whoa, Yeshua, now you’re moving me from my disinterest into something that feels more alive. Like we’re walking down a trail and just came to a five way junction and all of the trails look inviting.

Y – I don’t mean to diminish your desire to veg out. Let’s take that desire along with us. Pick a trail my man, if you’re up for it.

W – Hmmm, I really like feeling secure, Yeshua. Feeling loved, feeling good, feeling confident that the things in life that I like the most I can find and have fun finding. I don’t like being with myself much when I’m afraid of not having the life and things I most deeply desire, when life feels constricted, narrow, and alone.

Y – Okay, I get that. Metaphysical question here: What if earth life is structured around both? By that I mean there is a familiarity of going without at times and a familiarity with having abundance at times. That range of familiarity is being healthily grounded in your own needs. Most of the current campaigns against ‘selfishness’ are really about trying to live outside of this inherent need basis of life. You are a self. You are selfish. Own it fully, and in owning it fully, that will lead you to true care and love for others. You cannot healthily connect with others without being healthily grounded in yourself and in your own needs. Revamping your money systems isn’t going to amount to a heap of horseshit with this old paradigm of self is evil. God help us.

W – ‘As you do unto others, so you do unto yourself.’

Y – Yeah, that was turned around into a do good command of ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you,’ but what you just said was the way I originally said it. I so felt this reality that we are all one. There is no separation between us at our deep and essential levels.

W – So, what does that say about part of me feeling isolated this morning?

Y – The entire world is aching on the edge of their sanity with having lived into the false picture of a separated self.

W – Why would part of me think that isolating some more would be the solution to that?

Y – Isolating is deadening. The purpose is to deaden one’s needs. This part of you has lived and cooperated in the world by keeping as self contained as possible, to afford the lowest level of needs.

W – Sounds like our current global austerity programs.

Y – It isn’t working for a single one of you, let alone the entire world. Something old is ending. It’s complete and done. What’s arising is a baptism into our true and genuine needs, the courage to live in them and from them, personally and globally.

W – You’re sort of saying that our needs are the map out of our current jungle. I get that. Jillian and I keep finding that our differences or tangles that arise, like a big one we had just yesterday, are always about a much deeper need that one or both of us are negotiating the courage to actually feel, and when we bring that to the surface, the conflict opens out back to love.

Y – THAT my man is currency of the heart.

W – I want to take another trail here.

Y – Go for it.

W – What about when I want to isolate because I find the energy of the current social fabric, or the person in front of me, so false, so invested in politeness over realness, disconnect over feeling real needs? SoulFullHeart rides this edge continually over isolating or transparently offering what we have to others.

Y – The process of culturing a garden of self love inside of yourself is reflected in all of your outer relationships. Ultimately, there is no separation between self and other. Feeling your distaste for what is currently so prevalent in the social fabric is what moves you, first inside yourself, and then out of yourself to bring what you uniquely have to bring, and how you want to bring it. That’s finding your niche market, isn’t it? That’s really all about growing in confidence that the good things in life that satisfy you most deeply can come to you, and will come to you, as you come to terms with the goodness of your own heart.

W – Yes, but….but what if I really don’t like the person in my face just now, and all I can feel is a ‘get me out of here?’

Y – This may take a few steps that I’m missing at the moment, but how about if you could feel the need in yourself at that moment that feels threatened of not getting met, then find a way to bring that need vulnerably and transparently to the person who’s up in your face, and see what that does to the situation.

W – I like that. But, damn, that takes a whole new courage.

Y – It’s what you do inside yourself, Wayne. Just give it a go outside.

W – Where did you get to be such a relationship expert?

Y – I’m experimenting and improving, hoping to get some things sorted out before I do come back.

W – Preparing for the second coming, huh?

Y – Thank you. We were getting a little too serious today.

W – You sure know how to tweak shit, though.

Y – It’s just my funnest fun. It’s what I do.

W – I’m out of gas for today…

Y – Or more like full up.

W – That’s it.

Y – See that, needs met, and then you have to wait for some new needs to arise around which to relate.

W – No needs, no relationship. And killing our needs is what jacks up the false illusion of separation, and leaves us feeling contracted in isolation, and the ache of which serves in turn to breed our deepest transparent relational courage. Which is exchange. Currency. Flow of goods. End of Austerity.

Y – Are you gonna stop or what, man?

W – Took this long to wake up.

Y – Takes what it takes.

W – I feel an appetite calling me just now.

Y – Okay, Talk to you soon.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

What’s killing so many people right now is not their dead end job, but rather their unwillingness to make a baby step of change and then find enough courage for another. And, yes, that will kill someone for sure. It’s the universe’s version of a mercy killing. Depression and anxiety, which are the bedrock of your current money systems, along with the host of other unfelt feelings that hold your relationship to money, are the result of refusal to change. It’s a built in deadness comfort. It’s moderating the degree one will be in life or not.

Yeshua – Whoa, Wayne. You’re awake today. What’s up?

Wayne – That’s what I need your help to find out. It’s not even 4 am and I can’t sleep any more.

Y – Plenty of time to sleep later. Cool. What’s rumbling through you? Tell me some, man.

W – It’s an intersection of a few things, I guess. I just sent a thank you note to a man who’s deeply into alternative currency who thanked me deeply for these dialogues. I’ve felt my words and heart go into our SoulFullHeart family and that is profound, no doubt, yet can be minimized somehow too, as it’s taken for granted as a new reality.

Y – Reality was meant to be taken for granted. 🙂

W – Until it’s not?

Y – Precisely. Because reality is never real.

W – All made up as we go.

Y – Just checking, you are awake. 🙂

W – I love that so much, Yeshua. Making up shit as we go. That’s my greatest answer to the folks who wonder if this conversation is real.

Y – Just ask them how they came to believe the conversation they are having with anyone is real.

W – I’m sure that would work with some folks and not with others.

Y – As it’s meant too. But none of it is less sacred. All of us doing journeys at different frequencies of density, deliberately forgetting so we can be re-membered into heart family, over and over again.

W – For a guy who has so much heart to share and give, you can sure be what folks would call ‘crude’ or ‘crass’ at times.

Y – That was a bit sudden to where we were just now.

W – Oh sorry, I was feeling the folks who would be tripping on what we have to offer them because it isn’t in a polite container.

Y – Now, just for the record. I don’t give a flying fuck.

W – Really?

Y – No, that’s not true. I was lying. Well, maybe not. What if both are true?

W – How so?

Y – When we conform to others’ expectations of us, we diminish our essence. Inhabiting a role though, instead of our essence is always less risky. There’s always plenty more roles to be had, but only one essence. We’re at ‘peak roles’ though now you could say, where they just don’t spend like they used to. The market is all dried up. Major death and rebirth for humanity. Where are we going with this, Wayne?

W – Not sure, sometimes I like to just let you wander and wonder and see where we end up.

Y – Oh, yeah, we were on offending some and delighting others. That’s built into the system. That’s relationality. And it happens whether you are more into your essence or a role play version of you. Roles are a deep thing actually and we never stop shedding them is my truth. And it’s only as deep heartfelt worth; worth that you know and feel comes in, that you can ever safely negotiate letting go of a role in the world. The real cool thing though is learning how to bring your delight or your offense in real time, with a real other, to find what’s real. If there’s only a pretentious ground of no conflict, all love and light shit, (fuck that makes me puke) then how the hell are we ever to get to the heaven on earth that our hearts tell us is true?

W – You’re bringing your offense right now.

Y – Totally, and if it pisses someone off royally, enough for them to confront me, then I’ve picked a really good fight. And if they will stay in the ring with me, I will open my heart humbly to the gift that they bring me. If not, I’m gonna try and pick another fight. We are dying for lack of a fight.

W – And this today is about money too?

Y – Money never lies. It tells our story. We inhabit a role for the money. That’s what commonly is called a ‘job’. Unemployment is a crisis of change whose time has simply come. Reality is meant to be a never ending ‘realization’ that what you figured was real, is opening out to new reality, throwing in complete question how you relate to both the old one and new arising one. Another security crisis.

W – Sometimes you get so metaphysical, I can’t quite track it all.

Y – Is that a compliment or a judgment?

W – Looking for a fight again, aren’t you?

Y – Wanna go a round?

W – No, I want you to say more if you will about getting out of our dead money tracks. That’s what’s killing so many people right now stuck in a dead end job.

Y – What’s killing so many people right now is not their dead end job, but rather their unwillingness to make a baby step of change and then find enough courage for another. And, yes, that will kill someone for sure. It’s the universe’s version of a mercy killing. Depression and anxiety, which are the bedrock of your current money systems, along with the host of other unfelt feelings that hold your relationship to money are the result of refusal to change. It’s a built in deadness comfort. It’s moderating the degree one will be in life or not. Being in life is change from the second you win the sperm race, man. Never ending change.

W – Crisis is only change trying to happen, I recall hearing a long ways back.

Y – Isn’t that cool when you stop and feel it? You win the sperm race and the prize is an egg that you get to penetrate, and all the rest of your sperm buddies cheer you on and then give their life for the moment, as you enter never ending change.

W – Yeah, okay, when you put it that way……

Y – Life is graphic, Wayne. It’s wet and slippery. It moves all of us. We are moving together. Money always follows the movements.

W – And I don’t need the whole outside world to change for my money reality to change. I really only need my internal money reality to change. Is that true?

Y – Because there is, at our core, no separation between any of us. When one changes, we all change. This is evidenced by our fear reaction when someone leaves the fold of normalcy. They’ve affected us at a deep level. The entire universe moves with you as you change.

W – That is so freakin’ amazing to me, Yeshua. I’m off to paint and drywall again today, something that has been around for a long time this life, but when I feel it, it’s constantly changing, and taking me somewhere new.

Y – Your days in everything are numbered.

W – ‘So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.’

Y – I still dig those Psalms too. Sometimes.

W – Yeah, I hear you. Kind of a push-pull isn’t it.

Y – Yeah, you gotta share your Jesus journey sometime soon. What was that all about?

W – I’m still figuring that out.

Y – Usually, you need to give what you have in order to get some more.

W – Now, there’s a new money concept.

Y – To get into the place where giving really is true having. Owning and possessing is all up for revamp too, you know. The moment you hang onto anything is the moment it begins to die. It’s true of a tomato, a mate, a faith or belief system, or money in the bank. Interest on money just isn’t interesting anymore, is it?

W – Interest on money just isn’t interesting…hmmm, you just don’t stop. I gotta pause you and us again today.

Y  – I wasn’t the only ampy one today.

W – Yeah, that’s true. Thank you for matching me. I needed that.

Y – Go on you, grand sperm race winner, claim your prize, live in change, live in your heart…

W – I’m gonna give it my best ‘shot!’

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.