Inviting Your 3D Self Into Healing

by Kalayna Solais

In order to be in, live in, navigate 3D, parts of you have had to form. They’ve also formed in reaction to traumas you’ve experienced in the density of 3D. These traumas sometimes have slipped under the radar, actually, and not necessarily been experiences of overt abuse. Sometimes even just not being heard or seen is traumatic. Not feeling loved is traumatic. Not feeling like you belong on this planet is traumatic.

The 3D Self is pretty complex yet when you meet your own with love and open-hearted curiosity, the parts that make it up respond to that, come forward, and a bond with them is created. This is not about ‘eliminating the ego’ as some other offerings may teach, yet rather, loving the ‘3D ego’, if you want to call it that, and appreciating WHY it’s had to form. This helps you find your way through the pain and into the harvest of deep inner gifts and soul bigness that have been buried underneath it out of necessity.

Without loving the 3D Self deeply, your life cannot shift on deeper levels. What needs to be let go of in order to let in MORE love in Divine/multi-dimensional ways becomes more challenging to walk out than it necessarily has to be. There’s a necessary burning away of the masks that have kept you in fused states to your 3D Self and its many ways of expressing in your relationship to others and yourself in general, and your relationship to the Divine, to love, to spirituality.

If this resonates and sparks some interest in you to go deeper, Raphael and Jelelle Awen offered a by-donation group call yesterday about this very topic that you can still donate to receive the recording of. It’s part of the 6-week Free To Be 5D Series so your donation will get you access to all recordings from this series so far and the Zoom link for the other 4 calls coming up. You’ll hear teachings from them on and also engage in a powerful guided meditation. Gabriel Heartman and I also share a bit about our own experiences with this process.

More info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe5dgroupseries

Much love to you and your precious 3D Self! ❤
Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about FREE consultation calls, space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Loving The Spiritual Warrior Into The Spiritual Ambassador

Since the Solstice/Eclipse I found myself flying high in the sky to then falling toward the ocean like Icarus in the Greek myth. An outer trigger that constellated another layer of my wounded masculine and feminine.

It illuminated the ways in which they are both still working out their relationship to each other. As my own ascension and maturation process continues, I reach more subtle areas of my wounded and shadow selves. Then the subtle becomes more obvious and like an elephant in the room.

The awareness I felt was that parts of me still look outbound for validation rather than inbound and from me and the Divine. Before this SoulFullHeart work, I would respond to this awareness by trying to ‘improve’ myself or take care of my ‘shit’. This only brought in more frequencies of self-judgement rather than self-compassion.

Through connecting to my inner world of parts and Metasoul aspects, I have become more clear about who I, Gabriel, is as the ‘eye of the storm’ sort of speak. I am becoming more clear of my Essential self, that Me that is the spark of the Divine.

As I connect to that energy more, I can start to see the architecture of my wounding more and be able to hold the parts of me in vibration and pain. I am the Ambassador of my own ascension. My trailing edge wounds are a part of who I am. I cannot go very far without them. Their ascension is my ascension.

So in I go. Feeling. Reflecting. Compassionating. Loving. Owning and Growing. This is the path of Spiritual Ambassador, not the Spiritual Warrior. Even the warrior is held in Love and not in spite. It has enumerable gifts that are the fuel of our devotion to Love for all humankind and for ourselves as human souls.

For more on this topic of 4D Warrior to 5D Ambassador I highly recommend today’s call with Raphael and Jelelle Awen. They will be bridging these energies through teaching and a guided meditation to bring in more compassion, forgiveness, and self-love. It will be available as a recording as well. To get the details go to soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Remembering Our Starseed Essence

By Deya Shekinah

Every week the parts and themes we are feeling and connecting with through the ‘Free To Be Two’ group calls seem to be naturally interconnected, offering me a much bigger picture of myself, the world, and the Universe. 

My Inner Teenager, Yasmin, feels so connected to the collapse of the 3D Matrix. Feeling her is helping me collapse the matrices inside at the same time as I’m witnessing them collapse on the outside. Feeling where she was ‘plugged in’ through the school systems and birth family templating is helping me unravel all the beliefs and ideas she holds about who she is meant to be. 

Last week I could feel her in the school corridors, overwhelmed and unprepared for the huge transition that it was. I could feel her innocence, as she carried my Inner Child in her arms wearing PJ’s and holding a teddy bear. She quickly learnt to ‘grow up’ and hide her Inner Child and innocence so she could ‘fit in’ and ‘survive’. This created so much depression which I can still feel here now, as hidden with her childhood innocence was also her curiosity, her creativity, her sense of purpose, and her multi-dimensional connections.

Something that feels so rich within my Inner Child is this connection to the magic, to the mysterious, and to the stars. As life got denser through living in 3D, I forgot about the magical essence of my Inner Child as she seemed to get further and further away. I am now remembering her and feeling how she has been there all along as the one who was questioning everything and longing for Home. 

She feels like my Starseed, who is revealing herself organically as Yasmin is deeply digesting her experiences this life. She feels expansive, curious, and open to all the possibilities in this Universe. She restores the magic in this existence and reminds me of the bigger picture of all that is happening in our world right now. 

Connecting with my Starseed brings me into a deep peace within, as she helps me remember I have never been alone and that those who I have longed to go home to were always here with me, inside me, every step of the way.

You can join Raphael & Jelelle Awen today for the fourth call in our Free To Be 2 series, Navigating The Matrix Collapse to New Earth Transition, at 10:00am PDT with teachings and a guided meditation to connect to your Star Seed within, Star Family, and galactic consciousness. You can join live and/or receive the recordings for a donation at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. More info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2

Much Love, 

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

3D Matrix Shaking Up To Wake Us Up

By Deya Shekinah

There is an intensity in the world right now that seems to be in a constant ramping up and amping up. It feels like we are in a pressure cooker set at its highest temperature and cooking speed. I see this reflected in the current events happening in 3D right now, how it can feel to parts like it is ‘one thing after another’.  I am also seeing this in my personal process. It feels like there are so many threads up for healing and completion, other timelines bleeding through, and past relationships coming up for deeper completion. Basically, anything that cannot come with us into the New is calling our attention inwards if we are choosing to go there.

In my own process I am feeling how overwhelming this can get for my parts, especially the Inner Masculine parts like the Inner Protector and the Gatekeeper. They feel like they are wanting to set a self-loving, discerning pace to our process and for us, even as they may use ways of protecting and suppressing us that do not feel that way. I feel them trying to navigate all of what is coming up through a very limited lens created in the 3D way of life, that teaches us to avoid rather than meet what we are feeling.

Inside myself when life sparks things to feel and digest, and with so much anger, injustice, fear, pain and confusion coming up to be felt, I feel an inner struggle at times. I feel a struggle between taking care of myself and my parts, and caring about the world and feeling what is moving within it as the 3D Matrix shakes up, breaks up, and is collapsing. 

For so long my parts approached healing and Awakening as something that needed to be done and quickly because they felt there was ‘something wrong’ and that they needed to ‘be fixed’. This created an intensity to how my parts would approach how they felt, a searching, a seeking which was not discerning or self loving. This has created more to heal and digest with them. I sense that happening for us as a collective now too, with Covid, the things happening in the US now, all that is being revealed to us. As we search for answers, deeper meaning and to fix it all, it feels like our parts can get caught up in it all without any space for digesting how they feel about it too. This creates more for us to digest around how we treat ourselves through this whole unravelling.

Through my own deepening with my parts through the SoulFullHeart process, and as higher frequency Aspects of my Metasoul are coming in as I digest the trauma of my 3D self/parts,I am feeling guided from within to take a more gentle approach, a more self-lovingly paced approach to what information I am letting in and how much my parts can actually feel and digest in one go. I am being offered and it feels like an invitation for us all, to move above these Matrices, to look from an overview perspective, which feels like it can happen more as we digest how we feel and the trauma our parts have experienced in 3D. 

This is not a bypassing of what is going on in the world or in our personal processes. I see the image of birds flying high and scanning the waters, which look like the 3D/4D matrix grids. As the bird we can choose where and when we need to go in and fish or be in the waters. I also feel the image of a mermaid, who can dive deep into the depths when she needs or wants to, yet can also enjoy being at the surface, being in/flowing with the ever-changing motion of the ocean with trust in the waves and the ones she is meant to catch. I feel how this picture allows us to go into feeling as and when we and our parts feel strong enough to do so, rather than them having to be led by expectation, guilt or shame. I am feeling these themes coming up at the moment to feel and it is not easy to digest. I feel more and more how much space and tenderness we need around us to feel all we are being called to feel.

A self-loving pace to feeling, healing and digesting feels so important, especially as it feels like the collapse of the 3D matrix will keep getting more intense for us all. I feel us knowing inside when and what we need to go into, to feel for ourselves and in the collective, that what we need in life finds a way to present itself to us. We do not have to keep digging for the healing or the answers anymore. It feels like everything is being revealed to us as needed, and like this is a time of great Illumination for us all now.

I am experiencing through digesting and healing the trauma of my parts and Metasoul how more and more of these higher frequencies aspects are coming in to support me and have always been here supporting me, even as I could not feel them. I feel the energies of Golden Earth, Lemuria, the Pleiades, all wanting to support us and help us through these intense transitions, offering that we do not need to suffer in our suffering if we choose not to. Even though we will be where we need to be until we no longer do, this is a very soothing and accepting perspective that I love in SoulFullHeart. The complete Love and acceptance of where we are at, the trust in our own Soul and its timing, that is validated and encouraged through this process.

I feel we can all bring more Love into the process at any time even if we find ourselves in the deepest, darkest, densest places within ourselves and within the collective, Now. Allowing ourselves to slow down, digest, and feel as we go, feels like it will truly help us all and offers a break for the higher frequencies of Love to come in. To go INside more and more often for our answers and support, rather than look outside as life in 3D has taught us, feels like where we need to go and where we find the torch to guide our way into the New, to illuminate what needs to be met and moved through for each individual. I feel this will be needed more and more as we transition through this 3D collapse and all that is being revealed through the process. 

Yesterday’s Free To Be Two series Group call theme was ‘’3D Matrix/Cabal Collapse and unplugging w/ your 3D Self”’. The call was full of activating, inspiring and full of connection. These are powerful gatherings with Jelelle and& Raphael Awen offering much to feel, that supports the healing within, that does ripple out into the collective through our innate interconnectedness and oneness essence, it feels like. For more info you can head to soulfullheart.org/freetobe2two where you can purchase the recording for a donation.

So Much Love, 

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Deeper Intimacy With Self Through The Explorations With Money

By Deya Shekinah

Wow, what a topic money is. I feel so many layers and parts wrapped into the explorations with money. One of the things that Jelelle Awen offered in the SoulFullHeart Free To Be Two group call about money this week, was how some can relate to money as a false god. This landed straight away as what I experienced within my family, how earning money gave meaning to life and felt like the only meaning to life as there was no spirituality or religion in my upbringing. I feel how my Inner Masculine, David, took this on and how my Inner Child, Yazzy, was stifled by this. Since she was always so multi dimensional, she didn’t believe this to be true, but as there was no one bringing any other meaning, she became capped by that.

I remembered a time when a male family member said to me that ‘money is the only thing that matters in the world’. At the time, I was blown away that anyone could believe that. As I feel it now, I feel so much density in that picture of our world, the lack of joy or spaciousness in it. As I feel David, I sense this energy within him as the conditioning he received from birth family members. 

Right now I am in a transition into a new way of being and earning money, that is bringing light to David’s relationship to money.  I hold and feel a lot of trust around money after years of transitioning and exploring money. This transition has grown into a deeper awareness and understanding of a greater meaning of life, as well as what abundance looks and feels like to me. 

I have learnt that abundance is many things. Not only money, but time, connection, vulnerability with others, space to BE. These all feel like abundance to me. I am coming to know and feel that my inner feeling of abundance is what draws abundance on the outside including financial abundance, even as that is still growing. For David, I feel him seeing this abundance coming in and seeing money coming in for offering my Soul Gifts, but he still does not FEEL abundant.

The group call has helped me feel this with him, his reality more of distrust and lack that he has been in and learnt throughout this 3D experience, sure that has been the 3D experience. One of the core beliefs I feel held in David is, ‘there is never enough money’., I see how much this creates that reality for us because he is so focused on ‘there is never enough’. He cannot appreciate or acknowledge it as it is coming in. I feel how it is the ability to be grateful for what IS, in the moment, that draws more of that thing to you, which of course is a journey, not something you can create through bypassing feeling the lack of gratitude. 

I feel how this lack of money belief is actually a cover up for lack of love, connection, communication and boundaries, it feels like. Money becomes this huge focal point when there is no other meaning to life. Money has become this huge elephant in the room, where we think about it, worry about it, are anxious about it, but we do not really honestly talk about it, at least in my experience and in this culture of my current geography. The shame, the guilt, the resentment around money is of course going to make it heavy and joyless. This feels like it creates blocks to, and a push/pull within us and our relationship to money, as well as abundance in general. 

I feel the lack of joy the Inner Masculine can hold around life in general, which then seeps into his relationship with/to everything else in life. I feel David feeling joyless, I feel him longing to experience joy as my other parts do, his sadness that he cannot seem to meet them there. Yet I feel how no one has ever asked him what he likes, what the meaning of his life is, and how he has been disempowered throughout this 3D experience too.

So now there is this new ground to walk out with him, where he is included and wanted, where he gets to feel and heal too because he is valued by me through this process. So this is where talking about money leads us, perhaps not straight away to more money, although I feel that coming in but to deeper connection, understanding and intimacy with our parts, and with each other eventually too.

You can purchase the recording of this Free To Be Two group call about money and attendance at/recordings of future group calls in this series by offering a donation of any amount. More information at soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

Love,

Deya & David

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Welcoming Everything In Closer, Sacred Union Within

By Deya Shekinah

This past month has been a deep dive with my Inner Teenager, Yasmin. We have been digesting so much together and navigating many timelines collapsing and arising. 

It has been a very tender time of feeling the reality of her experiences in this life, especially how she has been in relationship with others. Yasmin has always been such an open book, I have felt in this time of less sharing how her openness hasn’t always come from a place of self love. I’ve been feeling how she has shared such deeply intimate details of her life with others, with anyone really, because she so deeply longed to be felt, seen and heard… something she didn’t receive much of.

As we digested together, I have been writing but when it has come to sharing publicly, I am becoming more sensitive to her vulnerability. I am learning that instead of sharing, I can let her land more inside of me, letting her feelings be felt and validated by me, by Jelelle Awen and by those closest to me, who I feel safe with. Rather than trying to understand, I am learning to listen. To listen to her stories, the ones she has buried deep down and disconnected from. Feeling all the things she could not feel in other times of her life because she wasn’t safe to.

I am realizing all she has ever truly wanted was to be welcomed in all that she is and all that she feels, rather than only being desired, wanted or welcomed in certain energies of who she is. Her tears were so close this morning. I feel how other parts of me have learnt to try to fix her or push aspects of her emotional reality away. I feel how she also experienced this in all of her relationships to varying degrees.

As I moved and danced, I welcomed all of her in closer than ever before, all her tears, all her longing. She felt unsure at first, as tears have always been hard for her to feel without someone else holding space. As her tears were always hidden and not welcomed, it has taken me a long time to realize that they can be. As I grow through this process as a space holder, I am able to offer her a new narrative around tears and sadness, as I see more and  more how her longings and tears are the doorway to our desires for life.

She cried. She let go into me, resting more into the pain in her heart. It felt beautiful. It feels like the beginning of a new relationship, except this one is just with me. I want all of her because I know how much she has held alone, how much wisdom she holds because of that. I feel how deeply she loves when she is welcomed in all of who she is, and how the pain of not being welcomed has broken her heart open to life.

I sense some deeper layers of heartbreak arising, feeling the pain of relationships that didn’t work out and the times it has felt to her that people wanted her but only certain parts of her. The feeling of not being wanted in her fullness touches these tender tears. There is a growing sense of gratitude to those people who weren’t ready for all of her. I am a stronger woman because of it, who feels love for and loved by every aspect that makes up this expression of me. I no longer have to be more than or less than. I can be me, this beautiful bliss mess embodied as a woman. Trusting that as I love myself and see myself more and more, I will attract others who can only show up for the same.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Choosing A Sovereign New Earth Domain

In my last session with my facilitator and mentor, Raphael Awen, I found myself at the gates of what parts of me refer to as ‘The System’. In its basic form it is the Institution of Authority (administered by the captive reptilian race that is inextricably entwined with us). The rules, norms, and programs set in place by alleged ‘experts’ and ‘elected’ officials to manage, manipulate, control, and confine our innate, co-creative God self. 

I realized in the juxtaposition of my God self, my reptilian, and this System, that we have been, and still are, willing participants in this arrangement. If I truly feel myself as a spark of Universal Creation, then I have to be willing to accept that I have been in cahoots with this dynamic. Otherwise, I am just a disempowered victim and my only freedom exists from either joining the System or battling It (and thus, my reptilian self), or choosing to suffer in it. Neither of which feels appealing or at all a reflection of my desire to be truly free, sovereign, and in Love. 

In the process, I realized how much I, and parts of me, have accepted the ‘rules’ as such. What if I choose not to lend my energy to the Institutionalized Consciousness, but to give it thanks for what it did offer me, like a parent who raised me for a certain portion of my life, and now choosing emancipation and sovereignty? Can I do that? 

Well, energetically, why the hell not? I can transport myself and my conditioned parts into a new world where there is no virus, no fiat currency, no taxes, lawyers, licensure, registrations, or documents to be signed, sealed, and delivered. I can freely travel there without a ‘valid form of identification’. I can seed that into my consciousness and let it find its way into this ‘physical’ reality the more I feel the parts of me that are skeptical and in doubt. 

The biggest thing to feel is what the hell would I do without those constraints? Is that the biggest fear? Of actually being so damn free that I could actually live and love in abundance and not just ‘dream’ about it? Fuck yeah, man! I choose to believe in that. Matter of fact, science is proving that to be the very case! So while that world is not staring at me square in the face, it does in my heart and my soul. That energy of feeling free is the seed of BEing free. I am under no illusion it will take time to manifest. But the more I continue to say “thanks, but no thanks” to the outer authority, institution, and systems, then I continue to break those chains that keep me and It locked in this dance. 

So, I face the System within. I look square at it. I give it gratitude and appreciation for all that it offered and taught me about myself. Now it is time to do this thing MY way. One felt, conscious step at a time.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a Facilitant and Collaborator with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Awakening Of The Reptilian Self

Yesterday was a very emotionally heavy and visceral day for me. I have been feeling rumbles within my masculine over the past several days in response to what he was calling The System. We all know what that means, i.e. the particularities of living in a 3rd density world. Laws, social norms, bureaucracy, money, et al. There was this arising desire to fuck it all and just go live in a nearby park and detach himself from it all. It had a ring of freedom in it. I have the capacity in my soul to just live simply and on the land, which I did in Mexico with my SoulFullHeart beloveds, so it wouldn’t be a huge deal in some way.

Yet, in these reactions there is always something deeper. As was offered to me in our SoulFullHeart Facebook group, the desire to be free is an aspect of feeling a freedom of expression, my masculine expression. That landed very deeply and I could feel my inner masculine, Marcus, resonating with that. He was feeling the ways in which his own creativity has been used in a very practical way in order to survive and manage in the world. Not a very sacred use of his power and passion, but also very necessary.

As I woke up yesterday, I felt an anger begin to swell about all of this from within. I let him vent it out to get to a raw place and then deep tears came. A flood that seemed to last off and on for most of the day in between falling asleep several times. A feeling of hopelessness came over me that was hard to get a hold of so I just let it be. Let it take its course. I was offered by Raphael that there is some grid work that I was working on that is connected to the collective rumbles that are going on. I had felt earlier how these types of uncertain reactions are deeper responses to what is moving in the world. Sometimes it just takes me away and is hard to find me in all of it.

As the energy continued to move through me I began to get an awareness of my reptilian self name Gilesh. I have connected with him briefly in the past but it never got to a visceral awareness. Marcus, my wounded masculine, was a doorway to my reptilian aspect. I feel how this may be true for a lot of us. This hierarchical power structure that leads all the way to the Wizard of Oz itself, the AI. Once I was able to see him, so much began to come to the surface. I realized he was awakening into his and my awareness, really, for the first time.

I saw him lying on a kind of hospital bed with cords all around him, having been unplugged and in reaction to what he was experiencing. It was like an enormous detox from the centuries of being imprisoned, conditioned, and controlled. Very similar to the scene in The Matrix where Neo wakes up to his reality. I sat with him and just held the space for him to feel. A lot of rage and despair came from remembering what and who he was before the ‘take over’ he calls it.

This is quite significant for me. I have been really wanting to access this aspect of me because I could feel how much it has played a part in my life in regards to this feeling of acquiescence and rebellion in the same space. I have felt a suffering in space between and all along it was his! I got how much suffering this poor being has been in. How much trauma he has witnessed and been a part of all in the name of supplying the ‘loosh’ for the entities that were in control of the Matrix itself as well as its AI creator.
It is this break away from The System that my reptilian is experiencing. This feeling of ‘what the fuck am I if I am not this’? Trying to piece together the ‘past’ and remember the Garden of Eden from whence he came. Yet, there is something he knows he wants to be a part of. He wants to be a part of putting an end to this once and for all. He wants to help expose and collapse the frequency that has his race in energetic and emotional chains and thus humanity’s. They are inextricably entwined.

This will be a process of moving from angst, to guilt, to forgiveness, to compassion. I feel his power as my power. His masculine as a part of mine. This awakening feels like it will help ambassador something in the collective as we begin to learn more and more of The System and what it has done to humanity and to its children especially. It is a process of seeing how we have always been a part of it in one way or another. Yet there needs to be a space for the process of awakening and of grief. It is personal and quantum and has the potential to change our world forever. But for now, it is all about giving him all the love that is needed to find out who he really is outside of Hell.

*****

Join Raphael and Jelelle Awen for the 5th group call in the Free To Be series titled Unplugging From The 4D AI Matrix this coming Wednesday, April 29th at 10AM PST or get the recording if you can’t make it live. Go to www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe for more info.

If you feel guided to connect with your Reptilian Self I recommend Jelelle’s Deepen series video and meditation on this topic here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA7ZjZj2K8M&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLjwm17eBBTRhE3dbezYJdu&index=5

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a Facilitant and Collaborator with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

What We Heal In Ourselves We Heal In The World

by Monica Devi Bhakti

Today I found myself deep in a spin of the fear control matrix. I was feeling the intensity of my emotions, as well as the emotions of the collective. I reached out and got wise words from this beautiful SoulFullHeart community. Many thanks especially to Gabriel Heartman.

I also remembered back with gratitude to a session with Jelelle Awen, recognizing the need to disconnect from the collective, to find myself and my truth.

I went in and checked in with my parts. I found a Young One deep in fear, and my Inner Punisher running rampant – or so I thought. What I realized then, was that my Punisher was my Inner Masculine, actually trying to help the Young One. He was in a frenzy trying to find what would help this little one’s fear and help her feel safe. He felt so helpless and was lashing out, demanding that I make a plan and take action, even if I don’t know where I am going, or what is next for me. This sent me down endless rabbit holes of possibilities as if just taking just any action would assuage the fear. And I did take some actions and explore some possibilities. This helped for a bit. What helped more was to engage the deep well of the Inner Sacred Feminine – to allow the feelings, to allow that they are not wrong, not something that I need to make go away, but to listen to and honor deeply. These feelings do not need to be forcefully “shifted” into a ”higher consciousness” – that in fact to try to do so, was an act of aggression towards myself and spiritual bypass. Not to mention a judgment of what is good and what is not, what is “light” and what is not. As I have said – What part of All That Is, am I trying to make not a part of All That Is? What part of knowing that everything is the light, am I denying?

I find if we want to “fix” something, it’s because it makes us uncomfortable, and we are judging it. We want it to go away.

I realized that this is also part of what is happening in the collective. Theories and opinions about the actions of others, and who will stay in 3D and who will move into higher planes of consciousness, are so prevalent. I also notice how many are full of spiritual judgment and bypass. I’m speaking here of the conversations that do not include the essential ingredient of compassion. The bridging needed in the world – that this SoulFullHeart work helps do so beautifully within ourselves.

When we see the darkness, the actions that others have taken that seem so heinous, of course we have emotion and recoil. It scares us. It scares us that there is pain out there so deep, that it would turn on others in such awful ways. It shows us that Inner Punishers, unchecked and unloved, can become outer Tyrants and Abusers.

I know the truth that actions such as those only come from deep, unfelt pain and wounding. I know it because I have seen it, over and over. I have experienced it, over and over. One in self-love simply does not take those actions.

Love does not harm.

So what will help that deep wounding? Will ostracizing others and making them wrong – even in subtle spiritual ways – bring healing? If it doesn’t work inside, why would it work outside?

My experience today is that compassion, love will always be the one true answer.

I can so easily allow and witness the shadow in the world and others with non-judgment and compassion. Hold sacred space. My challenge currently is to witness and allow my deep shadow. Hold sacred space, and be, as Jelelle says, ‘the Love Ambassador’ – to myself.

What we heal in ourselves, we heal in the world.

May peace and love be mine, and yours, today and always.


***Monica Devi Bhakti is a SoulFullHeart Facilitatant, Collaborator, holder of sacred space, love generator, healer and writer.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Unraveling And Balancing Of The Inner Masculine

The masculine in us all can be a complex creature even underneath what can appear to be a simplified projection. Its laser pointed directive and ability to navigate so much on the 3D plane has so many benefits and qualities that are so needed in our daily lives.

Yet when that very focus finds itself tied in knots due to overwhelm, judgement, and uncertainty it really needs the feminine to come in and hold space for its unraveling. This is where the masculine gets to feel what he has been truly been holding, and simultaneously not feeling.

Since my induction back into the SoulFullHeart world, as well as the flipping of my previous script due to the feardemic, my masculine has been on a bit of unbalanced ground. While so very grateful for being back in the orbit of soul family and choosing to stay here in Victoria during this time, my inner masculine has been trying to navigate two worlds at once.

One world, the 3D world, is represented by online teaching work and making sense of what the next timeline is going to look and feel like so he can activate the usual levers and pulleys that make it all sail with minimal discomfort and chaos.

The other world, the 4D/5D world, is one that has him on the ropes half the time. It is a world of trust, surrender, and inherent joy and he just doesn’t know how to fit into that sometimes. He says, “Just give me something to do, and I will do it!”. As I connect with myself from this world, I can feel his anxiety and his discombobulation. So I breathe with him.

When we sit in rest together, just being and feeling, the anxiety bubbles and then pops into vulnerability. Into tears. Into the feeling that he is not enough. Into a feeling that he is feeling like he is losing his ability to ‘hold it all together’ in the face of so much change, momentum, and goodness.

The feminine in me comes to his aid and just sits with him. She invites him to lean in when he has felt like he has had to be the lead all the time. She is not looking for a warrior or a soldier, she is looking for his truth. His needs. His real-ity. That is his royalty.

As the tears flowed and the energy of all that he has been holding for the past several months came to the surface, a calm came into his being. Not a cure, but a calm. He knows he still has things to feel. Things to continue to let go and let in. He so much wants to be a King to her Queen.

The first step is admitting when he doesn’t feel this way and that it is okay. This is where she comes in to hold that space for him to arise anew. To be resurrected from an old way of being in the world. For that world is dying, and he is being reborn into his sacred service of heart-centered leadership.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a facilitant, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.