The Amassador’s Journey And The Lover’s Quest

Lately I have been going over some prior work we all did around 3D, 4D, and 5D consciousness and how they relate to different areas of life. I felt like I was seeing it with new eyes and a renewed interest and passion to bring it back into my own personal awareness as well as use it as a map for those that I work with. 

As with all maps, they don’t represent the territory but they do offer a context for understanding and a check for resonance. My mental body and more masculine parts love maps, yet it is my heart and my feminine that love the story and the experience that the journey provides. With a new global backdrop in place since this was created, I find it valuable to address as a way through these volatile times. 

Our 3D consciousness is more rooted in the machine of the Matrix itself. It has its values and its levers and pulleys to make it ‘work’ in a certain way. It has its own boundaries and rules that it lives by. It is dependent on the basic senses and on reason and logic. It is not sentimental yet has function. It is what we were born into as the overall collective agreement. 

However, we were not just born into a heartless machine. There has always been a 4D consciousness that pervades the fabric of 3D. It has shown up in religion, spirituality, political movements, art, music, and philosophy. It seeks to question and even undermine the 3D machine. It has its prophets and its warriors, as well as its light and its dark. 

To me 4D has been a bit of a quagmire and a catalyst for change. I have felt it has a bridge between worlds. A purgatory in a way. In this sea of quest and questioning, there can be the experience of profound awakening as well as suffering when caught in its swirl. It is where I feel the bulk of the world finds itself, struggling to find a sense of peace and clarity. 

This is the territory where you hear about the ‘bifurcation’. It is where one feels themselves, along with others, in a dimension that is different from those they have been around for years. There is a lot of pain and reaction here. The pandemic and its Matrix response has illuminated a lot in the relationships between people, friends, and family. 

This is where the ‘warriors’ and the ‘logicians’ find their niche. Spirituality is divided into camps as well. It can feel as if there is a ‘Balkanization’ happening in this dimension. Tribes searching for like-minds, like-hearts, and like-souls. It is where confusion comes to look for clarity and gets stuck in its web. 

I have spent much time in this dimension and have learned many lessons and found many gifts. The same holds for 3D as well. There is nothing inherently ‘bad’ about them. It is how parts of us have related to them that has created the suffering. They are experiential learning grounds that we can choose to learn from and apply into something new. 

This next frontier of 5D is one that I am looking to embody and inhabit in a more consistent way. This may be judged as bypassing, and that is okay. I have been dedicated to going into my shadow and my emotional body for some time. I know what I have been through and what I have yet to learn. It is not about ignoring the ills and pains of the world, but rather embodying the Light and the Love that exists in the Universe and beaconing and serving it to those that are drawn to it. Not just to make a dollar but to make a difference. 

It is about being an ambassador to the very Matrix we are all trying to be free of. By being in battle with it we continue to be entangled in it. I fully believe it wants out of this dance just as much as we do. It seeks to be seen and felt just as we do. It has had a role and a reason. From a more 5D place we may see that more clearly with more compassion and understanding. This to me is what shifts our waking reality. Our choice to stay anchored in Love and to give fear its rightful place as a guide and not a dictator. 

This is the Ambassador’s Journey. The Lover’s Quest. The need to embody grace and courage is on high for each of us. It is a process and an initiation. I am being invited to become that more and more each day. I believe the world needs more of us. The map is easy. The territory is the hard part but doable with support. I will continue to write more about this to serve and to call to those that it aligns with. 

May your heart and soul guide you to the shores of what is most real and desired to help illuminate the Golden Earth within.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

The Process Of Shifting Dimensions And Transitioning Into The New

Moving into The New can feel like trying to breathe underwater to a part of us. The Old is conditioned and even comfortable to these parts. To truly move into a new dimension of Being takes courage, trust, and faith.
Conscious shifts are empowering as well as frightening to the part of us so identified with what has always been ‘true’. We have to work to allow the New True to take root and bloom.

I feel my consciousness on the verge of more expansion and my heart on the precipice of more vulnerability. These go hand in hand. There is a continuing journey of unplugging from the False Matrix and leaning into the womb and bosom of the Mother and the inspiration and guidance of the true Father.

As I connect more to Inner Earth Lemurian consciousness and support, I feel the difficulty it is for our more 3D/4D aspects to let go of all they have known in their worlds. It is like telling them to just breathe underwater without learning how to do so.

Yet, this ‘learning’ is not so much mental as it is emotional for them. There is fear and doubt there that needs tending to. It needs our ongoing attention and holding, not unlike being a death and birth doula. The ultimate doula is the Divine Itself and our Divine Self offshoot. It also includes those aspects of our ‘future’ or Now selves such as Inner Earth and Galactic aspects that we are intimately connected to.

The ‘pandemic’ has highlighted so much for so many of us around the need to keep rising and keep expanding beyond the dystopian novel being written. It has really made the nest prickly for us to find our wings…and our ability to breathe underwater.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

The Big, Bold, Brave Choice To Be Fully Alive In These Times

By Deya Shekinah

The SoulFullHeart process is a wild, epic ride that is constantly blowing my mind and my heart wide open. It is intense, deep, rich and profound and I love it so much. My life is more magical when I am accessing and feeling my parts and creating deeply nourishing relationships inside of myself with them. Life becomes more alive and real in a way I cannot describe as it truly needs to be experienced for yourself. It is such an individual process because it is led by parts of YOU, there is no one outside telling you what is right or how to do it, just support to keep going in and finding your own way through any challenges, tensions or resistances to love that arise. 

It is a process that is helping me to become more human and that is what I love. It is not a spiritual practise but it is deeply spiritual. It is bridging the gap for me on what being a human and being spiritual mean. This process helps me feel and know from inside that those two aspects of who we are, are NOT separate. As I feel what is deeply human inside of me and those parts of me feel seen, met, heard and loved, then the Divine aspects of me are remembered and revealed so naturally and organically.

Our human hearts and emotions are the keys to the doorway home to the Divine essence of who we truly are. The richness in feeling this from inside and through your own experience with your parts is for me the most exquisite feeling ever. It is changing everything in my life and creating a foundation of self love and self trust in a way I have not experienced anywhere else.

This is my experience of course, not everyone will resonate with parts work and that is the beauty of all being so different and unique. This process honors and welcomes our uniqueness though, seeing the gifts that your parts and the ways they experience and feel life as adding to it, rather than taking away, or trying to make us tick boxes that make us spiritual enough to fit in or advance to the next level. There are no rules and the possibilities are endless, how liberating. 

You are endless, your parts are endless and the love that starts to arise within you as you feel parts of you is endless too. It is something to let in, feeling how big, how beautiful and how divine we truly are and have always been, and that being here in a human body is a gift we chose, not a hindrance to our spirituality but rather the doorway into deeper knowing and understanding of it.   

It is a big, bold and brave choice to choose a path of being fully alive and embodied in these times when there is so much to feel and respond to in the world. For me there is no other way through though than IN and I would not want to be going IN in any other way than with my parts, in this way of life and with the support of this beloved community.

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant & Community Member. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Welcoming All The Challenges Of 2021 As a Part Of Our Return To Love

By Deya Shekinah

This time last year I came to Glastonbury and planted a seed, an intention to spend more time here in 2020. Initially that seed was planted with a beloved but as the year unfurled that romance came to an end. The most intimate and loving relationship I have ever experienced coming to an end has been my biggest teacher this year, with the grief of that loss opening my heart to the grief of all of the losses I have ever experienced, which continues to unravel moment to moment.

I feel how we have all, in our own ways this year, experienced doors and chapters of our lives closing and ways of being dissolving. Uncertainty has become a more visible reality that we have to learn to walk with every day in new ways and that has been tough.

Yet as I land here now in Avalon/Glastonbury with a new dawn arising for 2021, full of possibilities and potential for more growth, more love, and more challenges, I feel more held in trust than ever before because of my own personal journey this year to get here. This year has forced us all in many ways to face some of our biggest fears: loneliness, grief, loss, and death. It is my experience, by feeling all of these places inside, that there is a tremendous amount of courage, adaptability and strength inside all of us to keep finding new ways to thrive, to love and to connect, and that however restricted or lost parts of us may feel, that is never the whole truth.

Letting in the beauty of all the challenges and the lockdowns may not be easy, but it is in feeling the empty, lockdowned spaces within that we are being reborn, even when we cannot see it or feel it. 

As much goodness is flowing into my life at this moment, I feel the fruition of listening to this invitation of turning deeply inwards towards myself during these times of lockdown. I will move into my own place on New Year’s Day here in Avalon and it is the first time I will have ever lived alone which I am excited about, and finally, after three years, I am with my beloved SoulFullHeart community in the physical. It feels like my seed from last New Year’s is beginning to sprout, although the beloved is inwards now rather than on the outside. 

As the new challenges for 2021 are already arising, I feel us all able to hold them and ourselves more lovingly after all we have learnt in 2020. 

2021 feels to me like a year to keep embracing the beauty and the tensions of the duality that we came here to experience, to allow the fullness of the human experience that is always working for us to humble us and re-sensitize us to the simple, subtle joys of being embodied and alive. As another year ends and a new one begins, I am reminded that endings and beginnings co-exist and are a constant in our daily lives not just on New Year’s Eve… and that feels ever more present in where we are in our humanity right now.

As we all continue to move through life’s death and rebirth cycles, from my heart in the Heart Chakra of the Earth, I send you so much love and many New Year’s blessings. May we continue to remember and uncover the goodness, innocence and love that is who we are, and learn to radiate the light that is in our hearts so we can continue to guide each other towards New Earth.

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant & Community Member. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Inviting Your 3D Self Into Healing

by Kalayna Solais

In order to be in, live in, navigate 3D, parts of you have had to form. They’ve also formed in reaction to traumas you’ve experienced in the density of 3D. These traumas sometimes have slipped under the radar, actually, and not necessarily been experiences of overt abuse. Sometimes even just not being heard or seen is traumatic. Not feeling loved is traumatic. Not feeling like you belong on this planet is traumatic.

The 3D Self is pretty complex yet when you meet your own with love and open-hearted curiosity, the parts that make it up respond to that, come forward, and a bond with them is created. This is not about ‘eliminating the ego’ as some other offerings may teach, yet rather, loving the ‘3D ego’, if you want to call it that, and appreciating WHY it’s had to form. This helps you find your way through the pain and into the harvest of deep inner gifts and soul bigness that have been buried underneath it out of necessity.

Without loving the 3D Self deeply, your life cannot shift on deeper levels. What needs to be let go of in order to let in MORE love in Divine/multi-dimensional ways becomes more challenging to walk out than it necessarily has to be. There’s a necessary burning away of the masks that have kept you in fused states to your 3D Self and its many ways of expressing in your relationship to others and yourself in general, and your relationship to the Divine, to love, to spirituality.

If this resonates and sparks some interest in you to go deeper, Raphael and Jelelle Awen offered a by-donation group call yesterday about this very topic that you can still donate to receive the recording of. It’s part of the 6-week Free To Be 5D Series so your donation will get you access to all recordings from this series so far and the Zoom link for the other 4 calls coming up. You’ll hear teachings from them on and also engage in a powerful guided meditation. Gabriel Heartman and I also share a bit about our own experiences with this process.

More info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe5dgroupseries

Much love to you and your precious 3D Self! ❤
Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about FREE consultation calls, space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Loving The Spiritual Warrior Into The Spiritual Ambassador

Since the Solstice/Eclipse I found myself flying high in the sky to then falling toward the ocean like Icarus in the Greek myth. An outer trigger that constellated another layer of my wounded masculine and feminine.

It illuminated the ways in which they are both still working out their relationship to each other. As my own ascension and maturation process continues, I reach more subtle areas of my wounded and shadow selves. Then the subtle becomes more obvious and like an elephant in the room.

The awareness I felt was that parts of me still look outbound for validation rather than inbound and from me and the Divine. Before this SoulFullHeart work, I would respond to this awareness by trying to ‘improve’ myself or take care of my ‘shit’. This only brought in more frequencies of self-judgement rather than self-compassion.

Through connecting to my inner world of parts and Metasoul aspects, I have become more clear about who I, Gabriel, is as the ‘eye of the storm’ sort of speak. I am becoming more clear of my Essential self, that Me that is the spark of the Divine.

As I connect to that energy more, I can start to see the architecture of my wounding more and be able to hold the parts of me in vibration and pain. I am the Ambassador of my own ascension. My trailing edge wounds are a part of who I am. I cannot go very far without them. Their ascension is my ascension.

So in I go. Feeling. Reflecting. Compassionating. Loving. Owning and Growing. This is the path of Spiritual Ambassador, not the Spiritual Warrior. Even the warrior is held in Love and not in spite. It has enumerable gifts that are the fuel of our devotion to Love for all humankind and for ourselves as human souls.

For more on this topic of 4D Warrior to 5D Ambassador I highly recommend today’s call with Raphael and Jelelle Awen. They will be bridging these energies through teaching and a guided meditation to bring in more compassion, forgiveness, and self-love. It will be available as a recording as well. To get the details go to soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Remembering Our Starseed Essence

By Deya Shekinah

Every week the parts and themes we are feeling and connecting with through the ‘Free To Be Two’ group calls seem to be naturally interconnected, offering me a much bigger picture of myself, the world, and the Universe. 

My Inner Teenager, Yasmin, feels so connected to the collapse of the 3D Matrix. Feeling her is helping me collapse the matrices inside at the same time as I’m witnessing them collapse on the outside. Feeling where she was ‘plugged in’ through the school systems and birth family templating is helping me unravel all the beliefs and ideas she holds about who she is meant to be. 

Last week I could feel her in the school corridors, overwhelmed and unprepared for the huge transition that it was. I could feel her innocence, as she carried my Inner Child in her arms wearing PJ’s and holding a teddy bear. She quickly learnt to ‘grow up’ and hide her Inner Child and innocence so she could ‘fit in’ and ‘survive’. This created so much depression which I can still feel here now, as hidden with her childhood innocence was also her curiosity, her creativity, her sense of purpose, and her multi-dimensional connections.

Something that feels so rich within my Inner Child is this connection to the magic, to the mysterious, and to the stars. As life got denser through living in 3D, I forgot about the magical essence of my Inner Child as she seemed to get further and further away. I am now remembering her and feeling how she has been there all along as the one who was questioning everything and longing for Home. 

She feels like my Starseed, who is revealing herself organically as Yasmin is deeply digesting her experiences this life. She feels expansive, curious, and open to all the possibilities in this Universe. She restores the magic in this existence and reminds me of the bigger picture of all that is happening in our world right now. 

Connecting with my Starseed brings me into a deep peace within, as she helps me remember I have never been alone and that those who I have longed to go home to were always here with me, inside me, every step of the way.

You can join Raphael & Jelelle Awen today for the fourth call in our Free To Be 2 series, Navigating The Matrix Collapse to New Earth Transition, at 10:00am PDT with teachings and a guided meditation to connect to your Star Seed within, Star Family, and galactic consciousness. You can join live and/or receive the recordings for a donation at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. More info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2

Much Love, 

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

3D Matrix Shaking Up To Wake Us Up

By Deya Shekinah

There is an intensity in the world right now that seems to be in a constant ramping up and amping up. It feels like we are in a pressure cooker set at its highest temperature and cooking speed. I see this reflected in the current events happening in 3D right now, how it can feel to parts like it is ‘one thing after another’.  I am also seeing this in my personal process. It feels like there are so many threads up for healing and completion, other timelines bleeding through, and past relationships coming up for deeper completion. Basically, anything that cannot come with us into the New is calling our attention inwards if we are choosing to go there.

In my own process I am feeling how overwhelming this can get for my parts, especially the Inner Masculine parts like the Inner Protector and the Gatekeeper. They feel like they are wanting to set a self-loving, discerning pace to our process and for us, even as they may use ways of protecting and suppressing us that do not feel that way. I feel them trying to navigate all of what is coming up through a very limited lens created in the 3D way of life, that teaches us to avoid rather than meet what we are feeling.

Inside myself when life sparks things to feel and digest, and with so much anger, injustice, fear, pain and confusion coming up to be felt, I feel an inner struggle at times. I feel a struggle between taking care of myself and my parts, and caring about the world and feeling what is moving within it as the 3D Matrix shakes up, breaks up, and is collapsing. 

For so long my parts approached healing and Awakening as something that needed to be done and quickly because they felt there was ‘something wrong’ and that they needed to ‘be fixed’. This created an intensity to how my parts would approach how they felt, a searching, a seeking which was not discerning or self loving. This has created more to heal and digest with them. I sense that happening for us as a collective now too, with Covid, the things happening in the US now, all that is being revealed to us. As we search for answers, deeper meaning and to fix it all, it feels like our parts can get caught up in it all without any space for digesting how they feel about it too. This creates more for us to digest around how we treat ourselves through this whole unravelling.

Through my own deepening with my parts through the SoulFullHeart process, and as higher frequency Aspects of my Metasoul are coming in as I digest the trauma of my 3D self/parts,I am feeling guided from within to take a more gentle approach, a more self-lovingly paced approach to what information I am letting in and how much my parts can actually feel and digest in one go. I am being offered and it feels like an invitation for us all, to move above these Matrices, to look from an overview perspective, which feels like it can happen more as we digest how we feel and the trauma our parts have experienced in 3D. 

This is not a bypassing of what is going on in the world or in our personal processes. I see the image of birds flying high and scanning the waters, which look like the 3D/4D matrix grids. As the bird we can choose where and when we need to go in and fish or be in the waters. I also feel the image of a mermaid, who can dive deep into the depths when she needs or wants to, yet can also enjoy being at the surface, being in/flowing with the ever-changing motion of the ocean with trust in the waves and the ones she is meant to catch. I feel how this picture allows us to go into feeling as and when we and our parts feel strong enough to do so, rather than them having to be led by expectation, guilt or shame. I am feeling these themes coming up at the moment to feel and it is not easy to digest. I feel more and more how much space and tenderness we need around us to feel all we are being called to feel.

A self-loving pace to feeling, healing and digesting feels so important, especially as it feels like the collapse of the 3D matrix will keep getting more intense for us all. I feel us knowing inside when and what we need to go into, to feel for ourselves and in the collective, that what we need in life finds a way to present itself to us. We do not have to keep digging for the healing or the answers anymore. It feels like everything is being revealed to us as needed, and like this is a time of great Illumination for us all now.

I am experiencing through digesting and healing the trauma of my parts and Metasoul how more and more of these higher frequencies aspects are coming in to support me and have always been here supporting me, even as I could not feel them. I feel the energies of Golden Earth, Lemuria, the Pleiades, all wanting to support us and help us through these intense transitions, offering that we do not need to suffer in our suffering if we choose not to. Even though we will be where we need to be until we no longer do, this is a very soothing and accepting perspective that I love in SoulFullHeart. The complete Love and acceptance of where we are at, the trust in our own Soul and its timing, that is validated and encouraged through this process.

I feel we can all bring more Love into the process at any time even if we find ourselves in the deepest, darkest, densest places within ourselves and within the collective, Now. Allowing ourselves to slow down, digest, and feel as we go, feels like it will truly help us all and offers a break for the higher frequencies of Love to come in. To go INside more and more often for our answers and support, rather than look outside as life in 3D has taught us, feels like where we need to go and where we find the torch to guide our way into the New, to illuminate what needs to be met and moved through for each individual. I feel this will be needed more and more as we transition through this 3D collapse and all that is being revealed through the process. 

Yesterday’s Free To Be Two series Group call theme was ‘’3D Matrix/Cabal Collapse and unplugging w/ your 3D Self”’. The call was full of activating, inspiring and full of connection. These are powerful gatherings with Jelelle and& Raphael Awen offering much to feel, that supports the healing within, that does ripple out into the collective through our innate interconnectedness and oneness essence, it feels like. For more info you can head to soulfullheart.org/freetobe2two where you can purchase the recording for a donation.

So Much Love, 

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Deeper Intimacy With Self Through The Explorations With Money

By Deya Shekinah

Wow, what a topic money is. I feel so many layers and parts wrapped into the explorations with money. One of the things that Jelelle Awen offered in the SoulFullHeart Free To Be Two group call about money this week, was how some can relate to money as a false god. This landed straight away as what I experienced within my family, how earning money gave meaning to life and felt like the only meaning to life as there was no spirituality or religion in my upbringing. I feel how my Inner Masculine, David, took this on and how my Inner Child, Yazzy, was stifled by this. Since she was always so multi dimensional, she didn’t believe this to be true, but as there was no one bringing any other meaning, she became capped by that.

I remembered a time when a male family member said to me that ‘money is the only thing that matters in the world’. At the time, I was blown away that anyone could believe that. As I feel it now, I feel so much density in that picture of our world, the lack of joy or spaciousness in it. As I feel David, I sense this energy within him as the conditioning he received from birth family members. 

Right now I am in a transition into a new way of being and earning money, that is bringing light to David’s relationship to money.  I hold and feel a lot of trust around money after years of transitioning and exploring money. This transition has grown into a deeper awareness and understanding of a greater meaning of life, as well as what abundance looks and feels like to me. 

I have learnt that abundance is many things. Not only money, but time, connection, vulnerability with others, space to BE. These all feel like abundance to me. I am coming to know and feel that my inner feeling of abundance is what draws abundance on the outside including financial abundance, even as that is still growing. For David, I feel him seeing this abundance coming in and seeing money coming in for offering my Soul Gifts, but he still does not FEEL abundant.

The group call has helped me feel this with him, his reality more of distrust and lack that he has been in and learnt throughout this 3D experience, sure that has been the 3D experience. One of the core beliefs I feel held in David is, ‘there is never enough money’., I see how much this creates that reality for us because he is so focused on ‘there is never enough’. He cannot appreciate or acknowledge it as it is coming in. I feel how it is the ability to be grateful for what IS, in the moment, that draws more of that thing to you, which of course is a journey, not something you can create through bypassing feeling the lack of gratitude. 

I feel how this lack of money belief is actually a cover up for lack of love, connection, communication and boundaries, it feels like. Money becomes this huge focal point when there is no other meaning to life. Money has become this huge elephant in the room, where we think about it, worry about it, are anxious about it, but we do not really honestly talk about it, at least in my experience and in this culture of my current geography. The shame, the guilt, the resentment around money is of course going to make it heavy and joyless. This feels like it creates blocks to, and a push/pull within us and our relationship to money, as well as abundance in general. 

I feel the lack of joy the Inner Masculine can hold around life in general, which then seeps into his relationship with/to everything else in life. I feel David feeling joyless, I feel him longing to experience joy as my other parts do, his sadness that he cannot seem to meet them there. Yet I feel how no one has ever asked him what he likes, what the meaning of his life is, and how he has been disempowered throughout this 3D experience too.

So now there is this new ground to walk out with him, where he is included and wanted, where he gets to feel and heal too because he is valued by me through this process. So this is where talking about money leads us, perhaps not straight away to more money, although I feel that coming in but to deeper connection, understanding and intimacy with our parts, and with each other eventually too.

You can purchase the recording of this Free To Be Two group call about money and attendance at/recordings of future group calls in this series by offering a donation of any amount. More information at soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

Love,

Deya & David

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Welcoming Everything In Closer, Sacred Union Within

By Deya Shekinah

This past month has been a deep dive with my Inner Teenager, Yasmin. We have been digesting so much together and navigating many timelines collapsing and arising. 

It has been a very tender time of feeling the reality of her experiences in this life, especially how she has been in relationship with others. Yasmin has always been such an open book, I have felt in this time of less sharing how her openness hasn’t always come from a place of self love. I’ve been feeling how she has shared such deeply intimate details of her life with others, with anyone really, because she so deeply longed to be felt, seen and heard… something she didn’t receive much of.

As we digested together, I have been writing but when it has come to sharing publicly, I am becoming more sensitive to her vulnerability. I am learning that instead of sharing, I can let her land more inside of me, letting her feelings be felt and validated by me, by Jelelle Awen and by those closest to me, who I feel safe with. Rather than trying to understand, I am learning to listen. To listen to her stories, the ones she has buried deep down and disconnected from. Feeling all the things she could not feel in other times of her life because she wasn’t safe to.

I am realizing all she has ever truly wanted was to be welcomed in all that she is and all that she feels, rather than only being desired, wanted or welcomed in certain energies of who she is. Her tears were so close this morning. I feel how other parts of me have learnt to try to fix her or push aspects of her emotional reality away. I feel how she also experienced this in all of her relationships to varying degrees.

As I moved and danced, I welcomed all of her in closer than ever before, all her tears, all her longing. She felt unsure at first, as tears have always been hard for her to feel without someone else holding space. As her tears were always hidden and not welcomed, it has taken me a long time to realize that they can be. As I grow through this process as a space holder, I am able to offer her a new narrative around tears and sadness, as I see more and  more how her longings and tears are the doorway to our desires for life.

She cried. She let go into me, resting more into the pain in her heart. It felt beautiful. It feels like the beginning of a new relationship, except this one is just with me. I want all of her because I know how much she has held alone, how much wisdom she holds because of that. I feel how deeply she loves when she is welcomed in all of who she is, and how the pain of not being welcomed has broken her heart open to life.

I sense some deeper layers of heartbreak arising, feeling the pain of relationships that didn’t work out and the times it has felt to her that people wanted her but only certain parts of her. The feeling of not being wanted in her fullness touches these tender tears. There is a growing sense of gratitude to those people who weren’t ready for all of her. I am a stronger woman because of it, who feels love for and loved by every aspect that makes up this expression of me. I no longer have to be more than or less than. I can be me, this beautiful bliss mess embodied as a woman. Trusting that as I love myself and see myself more and more, I will attract others who can only show up for the same.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc