Current Energies Activating Your “Not You” True You


The You that is Not You is getting lit up. Highlighted. Sparked by deep, layered activations in the recess of your True You. The holes in the Whole are gurgling, pulsing, calling. This can come out in so many significant ways that may be interpreted as a simple “this” or “that”. There is nothing insignificant about anything anymore. Never was. The physical symptoms, the sensitivities, the frustrations, the questions, or the sudden collapse of relationship and livelihood.

It grows deep within you. The connection of your Highest Self back to essence. Not to merge back into forgetfulness, but to experience the Dual Consciousness of I As All and All As I. These seemingly random occurrences are Remembrance pains. When these bubbles make their way to the surface, they off-gas into your waking consciousness causing shifts and movements. They can create havoc if you don’t have a means to hold them in a greater context.

Breathing through them is one way to let the energies find their ground within you. Self-loving acts of rest and pleasure can aid in this. They can be beyond mind and our current available consciousness. The work is being done on a much grander scale. There is also much to be felt within our capable and readied hearts. There are messages coming to us that are meant to shake things up that kick up emotional triggers in our 3D and 4D self. Our 5D nature is making its way into the fold and that creates a tension within.

It is not a press, mind you. But an offering that is hard to ignore. With each step Gaia makes, with each opening and integration the collective experiences, the more we are coming closer to what we have always been and yet have forgotten. In that forgetting there is a pain and a fear. There is a lot for our inner parts and soul aspects to feel and release. For those that have signed up for this, it can be quite a crucible to navigate all the energies coming up. The feeling that what life used to be like is not what is meant to continue.

There is a way to be with all these rumblings. This arising awareness. The pain that it may be causing. It is a process of feeling the parts of you that are these bubbling pockets of Not You (Anymore). It is a guided path of “selves discovery” that is meant to bring you back into Wholeness. Into the space of deep feeling and healing. Into a sacred relationship to yourself as Essence and to another as Union. Traversing a subconscious terrain to integrate and express all that is wanting to come into and out of you.

SoulFullHeart offers this very unique and powerful way of being with all that is arising inside and manifesting outside. It is a portal to a deeper version of You that the universe is conspiring in your favor even in the uncertainty.  If it just doesn’t seem to make any sense and you need to feel a set of heartrails to see where it may take you we offer a free 30-minute session to see if it may be a fit for you and your journey.

You can get more of our energy by participating in this Saturday’s group call on Zoom. It will be led by the co-creators of SoulFullHeart, Raphael and Jelelle Awen. This is a great way to take in more teachings and perspectives as well as a guided meditation and time to share and ask questions. You can get more information by visiting


Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

The Buried Treasures Of Our 3D Self


Sitting. Meditating. Thoughts swirling all around. Analyzing, comparing, judging, questioning, doubting, wondering, and hiding. I can feel the density of it all and yet my highest heart and soul is holding it all with care and compassion. I am on a path. A journey. One that has chosen to come to terms with these 3rd Dimensional polarities and woundings inside me as beloved parts of my Highest Self.

I can remember the days before beginning this process.  The days where I would be looking for any form of relief I could find to make all the intense inner energies just go away.  Not be felt anymore. This ranged from self-help to spirituality to substance abuse. Using movies, food, exercise, sex and socializing as ways to cover over what was so front and center in my emotional body. Yet I just couldn’t find the courage to really go IN and deal with it all, for I could intuitively feel that if I did, a part of me would have to let go of all the suffering it had been used to as Life itself.  It was an existential identification with the pain in a way.  Who would I be without it?

It almost seems odd to feel that a part of us would be addicted to something so painful. But when you make the choice to finally go into the hard-to-feel places, you realize how much of this part of you has been invested in it.  That it has become its world. It has substituted something much smaller in place of what is much bigger, yet it hasn’t quite picked up on that until it has been given the time and space to feel and see it.

This is where the 3D self begins to recognize all that it has done to make life navigable and bearable. Even using higher frequencies to by-pass the lower ones. It is a tricky circumstance because it all feels right until what remains unfelt comes back again and again.  The oil of our wounding continues its ascension just as much as our consciousness. I can feel that in meditation.

As we have been developing the SoulFullHeart process more clearly, with an emphasis on the 3D Self in the beginning, I can feel all those nooks and crannies that still hold court inside my emotional body.  They don’t hold the same power as they once did but they are there nevertheless. It has been generally referred to as our Ego, and it is something that has gotten some negative publicity.  Something to transcend rather than heal and transform. This aspect of us is a very important part of our ascension as it holds so many traumas and fears. It is seeking love and integration, not annihilation.

So in this moment I hold those fears, judgments, and doubts as sacred beings inside my heart. They are the keys to new worlds inside me and a transformation of the world outside. I can feel some difficult things that still need my attention and that means I am on the right path.  Not that the path is meant to be hard, it is just that we set up some challenges for ourselves to live our way through so we can find out what it is we are truly all about and what we are not.

This new focus has lit up something in my own journey, and when you start to feel these hidden wounds within the context of a larger process, you too will begin to realize how much gold has been buried inside you awaiting your harvest. All held by the love of your Higher 5D Self and your Divine Parents.  They are what brings us to the next going-on place toward our greatest calling in the service of love.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

Premise 2: Mature the ego and experience Oneness

By Raphael Awen


Welcome to day two of our 21 day Magical Mystery Tour of the SoulFullHeart Premises. Today promises to be a big day in premises as we’re exploring our second premise.

‘Why are you offering premises, though?’ you may ask.

Every spiritual or healing practice is premised upon a specific worldview about the nature of things. This worldview dictates what happens and how it happens or doesn’t. It may seem like a mental engagement at first, but for those with a keen eye and heart for what they really want and need, nothing sorts out a choice point like considering the premises of a given healing offering.

When premises are not clearly laid out and available for all participants to consider as they get involved with a group, it all too often leaves them falling prey to conforming to the groups identity out of a codependent and understandable need to belong, rather than choosing to be a part of a community because it lights up your heart and soul growth like no other.

If you’ve been deeply involved in a group or community in the past that failed as a community or simply failed to hold your interest and engagement, I invite you to weigh every single SoulFullHeart premise in these 21 days together and ask yourself, ‘If I ever did join back in with a group again, what would they need to embody for me to get involved?’

SoulFullHeart may not end up being your choice or even what’s right for you, but you will have moved your souls healing path hugely forward by giving your attention to the importance of premises. Premises are what the foundation is to the house.

Ready to go?

Here is the second SoulFullHeart premise:

“SoulFullHeartenment is an awakening state of consciousness involving the paradoxical processes of individuation or ego maturation while healing the illusion of the separate self leading to a deepening sense of union with self, others, and God/The Divine.”

Another mouthful, right? Let’s sort it out and I think you’ll get from this what you are meant to. These are pregnant words carrying a lot of energy and you can have very different experiences of them at different moments. Likewise, me putting more words around them can go in different directions on different days.

Let’s start with the word ‘SoulFullHeartenment.’ We made up this word to carry an energy specific to the result of undergoing the SoulFullHeart healing process. SoulFullHeart is a path of simultaneously healing both soul and heart wounding, or as Jelelle likes to say, ‘healing from our roots and our wings.’ One is not preferred over the other nor is one used to minimize the other.

We feel that where heart wounding is not adequately explored and healed, all of our exploration into soul domains and non-dual states, or simply a healing therapy, are largely a medicative reality for the untouched heart wounding. However, where the personhood ground of the heart is explored and healed, the doorways into soul domains and non-dual awakening are far more natural and effortless portals into our authentic self expression.

‘SoulFullHeart-enment’ then is this place of never ending movement into ever deepening human expressions of our essence as Infinite Love, in both heart and soul frequencies. It’s not a state of attainment, but more likened to living in a parallel universe where it’s your native place of residence from the moment of choosing this inclusive path. All claims of ‘progress’ are surrendered to simply not having any way of measuring anything in an infinite reality. Progress, for what it’s worth, is simply being on the path.

It’s much like trying to describe to others a totally mind blowing sexual experience. It’s obviously new to you, and has you all aglow, but try as you may, there’s no way to quantify what you had. All you can do is claim ‘more than’ in comparison to what you had before. It seems to be one of the few areas that a government bureaucracy hasn’t ever been able to regulate, measure, and tax because it is so immeasurable and so uncontrollable.

Let’s go on now to this piece about ‘an awakening state of consciousness.’ We see that when souls enter a human life, they are largely surrendering to falling asleep and mostly forgetting their true identity and their intentions for their soul healing mission in a given life. It is this ‘having our hands tied behind our back’ in relation to our awakening that calls us from our very depths to forge a deep resolve and choice sufficient to cast off our pre-chosen slumber.

Many are not meant (from their own sovereignty) to awaken this life and instead are working their healing path through staying asleep. One is of no more intrinsic value than the other, and both are God expressions. If you are a soul that has chosen to awaken this life, you are enabled to do this by way of comparative difference, and choosing amongst options and your personal power to act on those choices. It is in this very real human drama setting that your epic healing story occurs.

This awakening consciousness unfolding has a powerful paradox, however, at its root, and two at first seemingly ‘at odds’ vectors. In SoulFullHeart’s picture, they are powerfully, perfectly and inextricably one.

One is your path of individuation. This is the path of coming to terms with being a distinct and defined self, an embodied sovereign human, with boundaries and power to decide, decree, and declare what goes on and doesn’t go on within your borders. And you can’t do any of that without an ego. Ego is seen simply as your centre of awareness and there are no judgments against the ego as being the source of all suffering and pain as taught in so many spiritual practices and traditions.

We feel rather that it is about what our egos are currently attached to, and the relative health or unhealthy nature of those ego attachments that are at issue. However, to remove the ego is to render a person non existent. The premise that ‘self is bad’ is the underground root conviction of these teachings, stemming from undiscovered and unhealed unworthiness at the core of the personal and collective being. You can’t express or have experience as a human without ego and without a persona to conduct life. Some face has to show up for the party.

Doesn’t that all by itself just take a ton of pressure off in relation to all the bullshit you had heaped on you about trying to rid yourself of ego?

Now, if your ego is currently attached to Nascar, beer and high fives, you and I aren’t going to have much ego resonance, but rest assured, you’ll be able to find plenty of others with all the ego resonance you need to find enough community and work your healing path in the way that you are, regardless of my judgments about the unconscious nature of your journey.

I’ll have to take my judgments, along with my ego and be on my way seeking resonance around what my ego is currently attached to. And when we’re all said and done, there will be plenty of time to debrief and compare notes with one another and, I’m sure, both learn from each other, over a beer even.

But, it’s about maturing the ego, not obliterating the ego.

You are an individual. The definition of that word contains a deep explanation of how we see the self. In-divi-dual translates out to ‘a duality (dual nature or two-ness) that cannot be divided. You are an inseparable expression of both being utterly distinct and indistinct from everyone else around you. Both are true and it’s only when both are seen and held as true that a healthy relationship with life can unfold inside of you.

All the goodies of individuation are yours, like sex and buying shoes and having a personality. So are all the goodies of being all wrapped up in Oneness, utterly inseparable from All That Is. You already are completely non-dual awakened in this way with the only thing you are working on is becoming more and more conscious of this preexisting fact regarding the true nature of your being. And you don’t have to kill the ego to attain anything.

Forget attainment……It’s tiring and the source of a ton of suffering, control, and superiorizing. Instead, if you need work at something, do like Jesus said and ‘labour to enter into rest’….do your own personal healing that will allow you to let in the spring-loaded essence that you already are, but is yet unmanifest in daily expression.

So, where does all of this take you, then? It takes you to ever deepening union with self, others and the Divine. Union with all of self begins in SoulFullHeart as the crucial getting to know, feeling and healing of our subpersonalities, who hold our this life and past life wounding. This leads the way to true and alive relationality with others and the Divine….all of which are paradoxically one and inseparable from the self at the same time. A relationship by definition requires an other to relate with. It’s a bit crazy making to begin to feel into, that we are both ‘other’ and ‘not other’ simultaneously, but ultimately it is the path to true sanity, because it is in alignment with What Is.

Trying to describe this in words is like the difference in sex between genital friction, as in the clinical word ‘coitus’, compared to a heart, soul and total body having a connection that is so deeply a personal and a transpersonal experience at the same time, where the afterglow goes into infinity and words fall hopelessly short of description.

We are wired in our essence to fire on these cylinders in all the dimensions of our being. We use the phrase ‘Self, Others, and The Divine’ a lot to highlight the essential growth tracks of our relationality. Our personal relationality is founded on the interrelationship of self, other and the Divine. We separate what cannot be separated in order to provide a relational space in order to come back to the utter Oneness and inseparability that we are.
Pretty cool, huh?

I know today’s premise discussion opens out a lot of questions about things we touched on today like subpersonalities, the nature of reality, God, dual and nondual, etc., and I wanted to let you know that these are all coming up as separate premises right around the corner.

Thank you for being on day two of this tour. See you tomorrow sometime after sun up for day three.

I’d really like to know you are on board for this journey, so I welcome your comments and questions.

Please visit our website at for a listing of all the premises and more information.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information.