Trusting The ‘Fall’ Into Feeling

by Kalayna Solais

“To fall,
patiently to trust our heaviness.
Even a bird has to do that
before he can fly.” – Rilke

To fall… a tall order for some, a tip over the next edge for others. To trust the weight of it ALL… to be in the surrender of, ‘okay, I guess this is my next place to go’, without any denial of the clues from Love itself and the invitation into the next layer that needs healing. There are many of these next and next and next places, and it doesn’t really have an end to it, just deeper and deeper to go. Trusting in each process is the key and the challenge. Trusting that no matter what it feels like in these moments of letting in feeling, there is a shore we will wash up on, renewed, letting in so much more than we once could – wow, this can be the hardest piece to trust, can’t it?

Falling, willingly, is for the maniac in you. The maniac that is so curious about yourself, your soul, your parts, that living into each layer that needs love and taking in the mirrors that show you these layers is something you look for and look forward to.

There are so many layers of letting go, of letting in more trust, of being in more Love, of flying higher and higher still as you let in all that you are, but sometimes…. sometimes there’s a crash landing. Sometimes there are those phases of saying ‘no’ to that which parts of you have clung to in order to keep life ‘just so’ and somehow known, even though you also ache to experience the unknown! The crash though is a crash into YOU and into LOVE. Your parts fall into the arising you that gets to hold them and the Metasoul Aspects too reacting to the ‘no’ experiences, the life changes, the rekindled desire for MORE coming from your strengthening, growing and opening heart.

Feeling the full weight of how your parts have experienced each ‘fall’ in life, is what brings you and them to more and more experiences of leaving gravity, as you’ve known it, behind. ❤️

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Making Space For Healing Instead Of ‘Figuring It Out’

By Kalayna Solais

Intentions for your healing arise, often with a target or specific goal in mind, something that has been painful for a long time that parts of you so wish they could unseat and heal FINALLY. It could be something in your physical body, or a certain trigger in your emotional body, or depression, anxiety, or any sort of trauma.

I have a personal desire list or even ‘wish list’ you could say, that parts of me are attached to moving on from and deeply healing. Or rather, I feel how my Inner Masculine especially has this list that he’s holding, sometimes saying,

“OK, THAT came up again today… what is THAT reaction about and how do we get underneath it finally?”

It becomes a mining effort, a drill-down, instead of a gradual staircase that you can’t take all at once.

Does that feel familiar? 🙂

It’s so important to breathe. It’s so important to connect in with Divine love and support during these times when it feels like your healing process is more about intense effort and mental ‘figuring it out’ than about BEing with what’s coming up, even the turmoil of that part of you that wants the healing to just be done now. Why does this part of you want to just get there by now? Is there a fear that comes up about the consequences of not being there yet?

The journey of healing CAN be beautiful though it has to also be messy in moments. Often parts of you probably wish they could avoid the messes altogether… the reflections from life, from relationships, from your spiritual path and process, that don’t always feel good and are often super humbling. I have moved through so much over the years because of taking in reflections and plugging into Divine love and support in deeper and deeper ways and the journey ever continues, as does the deeper healing of the fears of life’s messes and the need sometimes to descend and feel the shadow in order to continue ascending.

The layers of healing that we all experience are worth the intensity of the deep-dive within. Every time you come back up to the surface, the air is purer and sweeter. And just when you think it can’t get any better… it does.

Trusting the journey IS actually the journey in many ways, at the end of the day. And with each step, you’re saying ‘yes’ to revealing the next layer that needs your love, that needs to remember Divine love, that you ARE love, AND… that none of this can come overnight but is actually more like watching a flower grow, unfold, and bloom. And that flower is You. ❤️

~

Sometimes it’s incredibly difficult to deepen your process, healing, and connection with Divine love and support without guidance… my beloveds and I offer 1:1 sessions that you can lean into for encouragement, empowerment, and reflections. For more info, visit: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Loving UP And Integrating Your ‘3D Self’

By Kalayna Solais

It’s a very real process, integrating and loving UP the ‘3D Self’… even if you feel like don’t have one anymore, sometimes the triggers are still there, the anchors back into defensive, charged, or even diffusive 3D frequencies sometimes still become activated, and all that means is that there is understandably still something there, some part(s) of you inside of you that need the love you’ve been downloading to reach them and help them ascend WITH you.

It’s become ‘normal’ for me to feel waves of activations and higher timeline shifts bring up what still needs to be felt and integrated. Sometimes a deeper reaction from a part of me stays hidden for a while beneath the bliss, yet eventually these parts have to surface. I find sometimes that a part of me has buried itself out of shame for still feeling the way it does about certain things, wanting to transmute itself without asking for me directly or asking to land its uncertainties and lingering pain in my heart. Yet my parts can’t actually stay in this place for too long. They leak out or jump out sometimes and if I don’t catch what’s going on, usually someone else who is close to me will and the mirror that I need will be offered.

Specifically for me, I’m talking about my latest process with a part that I’m feeling is the embodiment of my 3D Self right now. She goes by the name I went by for the majority of my life. I realized that she still holds so much pain about my/our physical body, our image, wanting to look a certain way and never feeling happy about it and actually very often feeling disempowered. She has held this energy for so many years. There’s an acute self-consciousness in her that I have to deeply feel and hold right now, especially as I embrace being a leader and a vulnerable one at that, and move forward with serving love. She needs the love I want to serve to land in her. There’s a cost if it doesn’t… if I don’t embrace and feel her, I’m incomplete in a way, and serving from a place of vacant self love in at least the physical regard, though I also suspect she holds pain about spiritual access, whether or not we truly have the skills needed to serve, etc.

I can only keep holding and honouring her deeply as I’ve been practicing with all of my parts for many years now. There’s no room in me to vilify or shame her for still being ‘here’ and not having completely integrated yet, though I get that another part of me has done this in moments or at least tried to help her stay buried instead of healed.

It feels like it’s so often the 3D Self that gets neglected when anyone pursues being a leader of any kind… especially when we’re talking about leading the way through Ascension and deep healing. But nothing has ever deeply transmuted or healed without love. Neglect begets more trauma and often some form of sabotage of the higher timeline too.

I feel this part’s edges and curves… I feel her loves and her strong dislikes…. I feel her reactions and together we are realizing where they’re coming from. Now we get to find our way through the forest together and help her move into something brand new that she has never deeply believed was possible.

The pathway to true Ascension is through the heart. The humility of the inner process that brings you home to yourself over and over again. This is what we’re here to remember and live into, honouring all that we are and have been as we live into who and what we are becoming every day. ❤️

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

333: ‘Divine Align’ Higher Timeline Opportunities, Next Steps INvitation

By Kalayna Colibri

It’s 333 Day today! A powerful time to feel where you truly are right now, to acknowledge yourself for where you’ve been, and to see the illumination of where you’ve yet to go… it’s a day for conscious creativity, to see how your creativity has expressed, and to feel your intentions for your creative flow from now on.

‘Divine Align’ comes to mind and heart right now, but of course this can be much easier said than done… the journey into this alignment is truly one of exploring and refining your integrity, feeling parts of you that are afraid of being vulnerable and truly admitting when they are out of integrity, and being courageous enough to take those steps into the deeper truth of this.

We are creative beings. We can’t stop creating. There are new opportunities to create and recreate starting from inside of us in every single moment. We have infinite choices in this world of infinite possibilities. We are choosing, always, whether or not we are ready to take the next step into our higher timeline and if we are truly ready to align with the Divinity within. I feel reassurance today that there are no setbacks and there’s no way to really go ‘backwards’ even when parts of you feel like they have.

Your Inner Protector may especially feel like they’ve ‘failed’ you, failed their ‘mission’ to protect you from hurt, harm, and even love when love is catalytic and feels like a tidal wave coming in to shake up your entire world. Yet, even this very powerful part of you does not have the ultimate say as to what unfolds for your soul and the bigger picture of your life…

If you’re up for meeting your Protector today and feeling their story with them, here’s a powerful video and guided meditation from Jelelle Awen that you can take in:

I have felt many times with an Inner Masculine part of me, which once expressed as an Inner Protector for me too, this fear of ‘failure’ and have felt very tenderly, with many tears, all the ways in which they feel they’ve ‘failed’ or ultimately let you, or (sometimes especially) ‘God’ down. It’s a relief to them when you can let some air into the room and remind them that they haven’t…

Today, with this ‘333’ Divine alignment of numbers, it’s another invitation to let in Divine love in this way and let this love rumble even your most defended parts of you, to help you shift from fear to love on a deeper level, aligning you with clarities about your personal service-of-love expression if it’s truly time for that, and bringing you a sense of empowerment in your life that may show you an array of choices you’re invited to feel into.

The Divine truly celebrates YOU today and always… and is inviting you, without a doubt, into your next co-creative steps with It as you become ready to deeply embrace them. ❤️

Much love!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energy Update: Invitation To Connect With Divine Mother/Father Through Personal Sun Chakra

By Kalayna Colibri

Today I feel a mix of energies coming in via our Personal Sun chakras, an Ascension chakra located about a foot above our heads. When I feel and see this chakra, I feel warmth as if I am laying in the sun’s rays at the beach or in a park. I see it swirl with bright white-golden hues and other colours too. Today, it feels very bright and present, offering us downloads and activations but a way to BE with them too.

The masculine energies from Divine Father are grounding and warming today… they are offering illumination through this chakra and also a feeling of being held and protected, while also offering the wisdom of non-action unless necessary, of taking the time to be with each arising moment. This isn’t something I’ve been very good at personally, yet the desire even in my own masculine aspect named Kaius, is to be in each arising moment fully immersed and fully present in heart.

The feminine energies from Divine Mother are spacious and compassionate today… they are offering space to feel the courage and the fear that comes up too when truly seeing all possibilities for ourselves and our relationships, when truly committing to our next steps as they appear before us. She offers, as always, space to be, to feel, to let in love and let go of what isn’t love, and to begin to know the difference as experienced and expressed by our own hearts. I feel my feminine aspect, Kathleen, letting this in today. Her heart is still raw from experiencing a renewed connection with Kaius and the new possibilities for them both in relationship to each other. She is usually very oriented to my outer relationships, especially romantic ones, and she is learning to pull back inward and look to Kaius for what she would normally want from an outer romantic partner.

On that note of sharing about my inner masculine and feminine aspects, I feel how these frequencies from Divine Mother and Father today are also illuminating next steps for the inner sacred union, the one that is most important in our lives, the one that needs the most attention, compassion, and love as well as undying curiosity to keep feeling what’s happening within it. This is what shifts all outer relationships, which can feel scary but exciting, both. The possibilities for new alchemy too is strong once you feel how these two aspects are relating (or not relating) to one another.

Connecting with your own Personal Sun chakra today feels like the invitation… to feel what wants to download to you, what next steps you may need illuminated for your own inner healing process, and to just plain feel how loved you ARE, right here, right now. ❤️

Much love!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Dive Into Feeling To Experience More Love

By Kalayna Colibri

When I think back to even my childhood this life, I have always found aliveness in feeling. In having emotions. In experiencing the container of life holding my ups and downs, ins and outs, waves of despair and waves of bliss. I have always been emotional.

What a gift it is, to have tools that help you go inward and support from Divine love to continue to do so. It’s in times of deep process yet also times of profound bliss (that truly come on the other side of deep process), when I most feel love and loved. Even with sobbing tears complete with wailing cries and runny nose, I feel loved. I feel held. I feel the growing container of me, held by the ever-expanding container of pure love, always accessible though not always easy to let in.

I’m sharing this today because there continues to be a need for an advocacy for feeling. Even if you end up feeling so much that you need a day in bed. Or a week on the couch. Or an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Love wants to move mountains in your life and simply can’t help you heal and change and flow aligned WITH it if the parts of you that most need you continue to be suppressed.

The machinations of this suppression come from other parts of you and these parts learned to live this way because of the company you keep and have kept, the culture you were born into, the choices you have made in all areas of your life. None of it is ‘wrong’… but all of it can be looked at and felt through with an open and curious heart.

The thrum of the message to ‘keep feeling’ runs wildly through our collective and the collective within you. Every Rubicon has another side to it. Every bridge can be built, even over vast feeling flows that have an intense momentum and feel as if you’re going to drown inside of them. Every single moment of feeling has value… and being in the moment today, actually means being willing to feel in every single moment, the uniqueness of your feelings, your parts, your soul aspects, and how they are processing or filtering life.

To actually begin deeply feeling, means to sign up for falling in love… with your own heart, soul, and parts. It means your life as you know it cannot stay the same (for long). It means you will be moved to higher heights and deeper depths than you’ve been able to imagine and a life you truly love living and ascending through!

Much love to all of you taking this into your heart today! I wish you all the love you can let in… and much more too. ❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Bursting Out Of Your Cocoon: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Dec 3, 2018)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

It’s our 100th Museletter this week! WOW!! This is a BIG celebration and it could not have happened without the support of you, the readers and subscribers, who engage with it and take in our writings, videos, and audio blogs every week. We love sharing from our hearts and souls everything that this rumbling and opening out, in service of love to and with you!

This week’s Museletter is launched by Teacher and Facilitator, Jelelle Awen, who offers from her heart an invitation to feel and honour your own process of emerging from a much-needed cocoon that has held you and your parts for so long, even in difficult times as you have navigated your awakenings:

You have been surrendering to the process of BEing the transforming caterpillar until now. Tucked into the birthing space, sometimes gestating, sometimes thrashing, sometimes searching for a deeper and wider understanding. Sometimes missing your previous forms, shapes, and ways that were in the known. You are becoming more comfortable in the unknown and in the space where Infinite Possibilities pose no obvious limits.

Jelelle goes on to offer that bursting from your cocoon is necessary as you feel, see, and embrace your higher timeline possibilities as they come forward and call to your now awakening wings: “You are BEing created as you are creating the life and timeline that you most want and desire. The timeline shimmers like a mirage in the distance, yet it comes ever closer with every choice of love.

There will be a SoulFullHeart retreat taking place February 15-19, 2019 in Victoria, BC, Canada. If you’re interested in coming, please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events for more information.

Jelelle will be leading another 33-day video series this coming January, similar to her Metamorphosis series from this past year. ‘Deepen’ is a video series featuring daily guided meditations and energy update digestions as well as special guest appearances from SoulFullHeart Facilitators Kalayna and Gabriel, her beloved Sacred Union mate Raphael, and her daughter and SoulFullHeart Facilitant Raianna. Join Jelelle for up to 5 live calls where you are invited to digest your personal process movements and digestions of these videos and their topics for a minimum donation of $11 USD per call. For more info, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

There are a few new writings and audio blogs released this week that feature energy updates and offer ways to feel and let in your highest timeline possibilities and deepening personal healing and Ascension process.

1:1 Galactic Activation Sessions with Jelelle are available for booking. They are a $55 USD minimum donation for 75-90min and will involve checking in with your parts and Metasoul/Galactic Aspects, helping you reunite with your Star Family, activating your Ascension Chakra vortexes, and much more… email soulfullhearts@gmail.com to book. For more information, visit: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/galacticsessions

Raphael, Jelelle, Gabriel, and Kalayna (Kalayna is available to serve women 25 and under) offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $55 USD minimum donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

Intense Energy Waves Lead To Deeper Healing & Change

By Kalayna Colibri

Been in more waves of change personally as we finally transition to a house where roots can be planted in nourishing soil… this isn’t coming through without tension also moving through, making room for the new and all possibilities. It feels like a time for this, a time for stepping into your highest timeline, and feeling the reactions and tensions moving along with that. It’s a time where stepping into your highest timeline may not look and feel like the perfect picture in the moment, yet you can so trust the vision as it’s unfolding and hold onto it as more than a wish, but something you are deciding to fully show up for… even as there are steps, sometimes many steps, to realizing it in its entirety.

There’s still density to move and be with, to acknowledge and to challenge within, especially as you continue to be invited into new and deeper perspectives. These new strata of seeing yourself, of feeling your parts and how they’ve moved in and reacted to the world, are landing in your field and waiting to be let in as you sometimes shake with old rage and deep hurt as parts of you live into their pain and in some cases have a very hard time letting in healing. Actually, this shaking and vibrating with old reactions often IS part of the healing and is just as sacred as the feeling of release and relief as you let in new waves of love into dark corners of your being that have so needed it.

These higher perspectives want you to see yourself and your parts in a more profound way, to see where the pain is and why and to feel compassion for how you’ve been in this world up ‘til now. The debris of the old needs to come loose before it can be lovingly swept up. And, the timing of this sometimes chaotic-feeling shake-up process is sacred and soulfully personal to you. You can’t know the exact timing of WHEN it will be more healed, yet you can hold onto a trust that it’s all in process and there IS an other side.

Connecting with your Inner Protector might be timely for you, as this part in particular may be quite stirred up right now. Both Raphael and Jelelle Awen have created powerful guided meditations to help connect you with this precious part of you. You can find them and other beautiful guided meditations on our YouTube channel: SoulFullHeart Experience.

Much love!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Being With Post-Holiday Emotional Indigestion

By Kalayna Colibri

I get the sense today that there’s a lot of lingering ‘indigestion’ going on coming off of Thanksgiving weekend in the USA, both in the physical and the emotional…. being with friends and family members who are no longer resonant with who you are and are becoming often creates a strain inside as parts of you shape-shift and adjust to the energies at the dinner table, suppressing how they are really feeling and reacting. Something that is becoming harder and harder to do as truth-telling parts of you like your Inner Protector, who has been observing and managing your relationship with your family and old friends, are becoming less and less tolerant of what isn’t resonant or feels like real love to them.

This suppression leads to intense indigestion in your emotional body, leaving you with physical and emotional pain too. If your body is reacting to the amount of food you’ve taken in, it’s likely also reacting to the energy of its preparation and consumption too. Checking in with your Inner Protector is a great way to feel them in their ongoing rumbles and to connect with the other parts of you they have been protecting as best they can from the sometimes quite invasive energy of those around you on these holidays that can be especially intense and charged with all sorts of unfelt and uncared for emotional realities and reactivity.

There are several guided mediations on our YouTube channel, SoulFullHeart Experience, for you to explore a connection with your Inner Protector.

The invitation is always to feel what you want in your heart and what you need for your soul. The real soul food of resonant relationships and soul family community is a potent energy to lean into for growth and deep nourishment. The reflections offered to you by non-resonant relationships are eventually no longer needed as the care offered from those who are doing the same degree of inner work as you is no comparison and is all you and your parts eventually will want to experience. It’s a sacred journey to arrive here to this place where the comfortably uncomfortable feeling of being around family members and friends who do not nurture your journey nor let you in enough to have you nurture theirs, is no longer desired. And, it’s just as sacred to feel all there is to feel, including the fears and anxieties in parts of you as you begin to let in true soul family connections and embark on the journey of continued growth and expansion in all of your intimate relationships.

Much love as you navigate all of these themes and tones in a way that is most meant for you at this time… ❤️

~

There’s so much deep support my beloveds and I offer through affordable, 1:1 sessions if you feel drawn to ask for help in the digestion of what has been indigestible: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Photo by Cristian Newman via unsplash.com

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Current Emotional Fluctuations And Loving Them UP

By Kalayna Colibri

There’s a deep fluctuation moving through… swinging from one pole to another inside. It’s a ‘mood swing’ on one level, but it’s deeper too. There are waves of change upending and creating tension, or more like evoking tension that has already been there for eons. It can feel almost crazy-making, the way these swings happen. One minute there’s a feeling of bliss, then the next there’s irritation, and maybe even rage. All feelings are alchemical. All feelings are data. All feelings give you a roadmap into you.

I’ve been feeling my own ups and downs this past week, as moving through big life changes tends to bring up a lot for me, especially around trust. I feel a deepening trust happening now. I feel how I am being asked to keep going into it all, to keep feeling it all, as even the feelings of distrust bring opportunities to feel more love…

I feel even in this moment how bringing out some anxiety and distrust in the bigger picture and ultimately the Divine helps bridge me back to my heart and soul. I feel from my heart too, how nothing is actually ever up to us. It’s up to love. That’s kind of a rough answer sometimes, isn’t it? Because… why would love want us to move through suffering of any kind? I don’t have an answer exactly… but what I’ve experienced is that even through the suffering, we are always held. Even in those dark moments where we don’t have a clue as to the WHY of anything… we are always loved… and we are always love finding its way. You, even in your suffering, are love finding its way to health again, in all ways.

In fact… sometimes we’ve needed the suffering in order to feel love again. Without having a process of feeling what isn’t love inside of you and in your life and relationships, it’s much harder to feel the deep love that the universe has for you.

So, even if you’re feeling some intense swings between this way to feel and that way to feel, there’s an opening to more love wanting to happen in your being. These edges of tension and also happiness are part of these birth contractions waiting and working to pop you out into a new you. Your sacred humanity is awakening and evolving, even with all of these feelings going on… that, I feel no doubt about. That, I trust, with my entire being. ❤️

Much love!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.