Tag: Yeshua

Moving From Materialism to ‘Motherialism’- Mission To Me Journal With Wayne And Yeshua: Day Five

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missiontomewayne

By Wayne Vriend

Fully feel every fear contraction. Let the fear be felt, held and loved, and thereby transmuted into true courage that can choose new love.

Wayne – Hey, Yeshua. Jillian just asked me if all the typing noise was me talking to you. I told her it wasn’t and then I realized how much I miss our connection.

Yeshua – Interesting how women can ask questions that are more than curiosity, huh?

W – Sometimes maddening, but only to the part of me stuck on staying small.

Y – What’s rocking your world?

W – You mean my cradle?

Y – What do I mean?…you tell me.

W – Well, it feels like a lot going through the pipe right now as we plan to leave in October to Mexico with a busy spell of painting contracts this past few weeks as we gather resources. Last night, I had this lucid dream about falling in love, and in it I was explaining the difference between falling in love and choosing real love, still based on deep desire, of course. I think the dream has something to do with Mexico.

Y – Now, there’s a great picture. People talk about the magic of falling in love, as if it is an unexpected accident; something they don’t choose. If they get a bit more meta-physical about it, then they suppose that love chose them. But, in both scenarios, their picture is that they were not the ones taking action. The only problem is that to follow the ‘I had nothing to do with falling in love’ picture is that a whole bunch of choices are coming straight at them. They are going to need to have a whole lot to do with the love for it to flourish or to die.

W – But, I still like the feeling of surprise that new love brings, like something that came out of nowhere.

Y – Being in life is being in love. Love moves every cell in the universe, and love moves every universe in the cell. It’s all love through and through. The feeling of surprise is just part of the juice of the game of renewed trust that invites us and encourages us to let in another big gulp of that love.

W – But then, for most people, the magic of romance seems to wear off.

Y – ‘Wears off’ is again a victim’s picture. The victim says, ‘Love surprised me by its entry and then surprised me again by its exit.’ No! You were too afraid to really let yourself consciously dream of your next phase of letting in love and how that might look and how you might cooperate responsibly to begin preparing for that. You needed to moderate love’s flow into a toned down picture of leaving yourself out of it. The same goes for seeing love’s ebb as something outside of yourself.

W – So, what does your picture look like in contrast?

Y – As you get more and more in shape heart-wise, you begin to accept more and more that you are love’s experiment.

W – Experiment?

Y – I know what you’re thinking. That ‘experiment’ is a bad word because many experiments fail. But love never fails. Love keeps its heart open in any circumstance. It is only in this way that love can come to know itself. The cool thing is that love is fixated on knowing itself in and through you. It wants to keep bringing you new love deals that feel like falling in love. It’s always up to the individual if they want it or not.

W – Usually it’s not a question of if they want it or not. It’s a question of if they want what comes with it or not.

Y – Exactly. Good point.

W – Thank you. Talking with you, for instance, comes with a bunch of challenges.

Y – Whadda you mean, man?!

W – Love always leads to choice. Choices always test the limits of our courage, challenge our identity, and challenge our current cradle.

Y – You saying that I do that?

W – I’m saying that you always advocate for letting in my next piece as courageously as I can.

Y – Okay, that I do do.

W – That you do do.

Y – do-do.

W – do-do.

Y – This is the essential do-do of life. Life begets life. Life moves.

W – And then we try to arrest it somehow, make it more stationary and predictable.

Y – And that’s all because we cannot accept that life is not afraid of death, but instead embraces death as love’s and life’s never ending opening to love.

W – But that takes some serious being in heart shape to dance with.

Y – Yes it does. The divine doesn’t want you to self destruct or suffer but at the same time, the divine won’t fret too much over your choices to stay stuck. It knows that love never fails.

W – It just has a longer term picture than we do.

Y – It takes the time it takes.

W – And we have nothing but time.

Y – Time to experiment and be in love.

W – I want more love.

Y – But that requires leaving the cradle of security that you currently know.

W – And choosing that… as in planning to give up my geography, my language, my livelihood, and this paradise of living beside the ocean and a forest and a creek definitely has its ebbs and flows of excitement and desire and, then, contractions.

Y – And all you are asked to do is fully feel every contraction. Let the fear be felt and held and loved. It is only as a fear is felt that it can be transmuted into true courage that can choose new love and all that it asks you to choose.

W – So then, it’s natural for me to give up something really good for something that isn’t a sure deal.

Y – It’s natural for what was a sure deal to lose its luster as it invites you to choose again. The luster fades as part of the invitation. You staying in a geography that has been a heaven to you can turn it into a hell. All the moralizing about ‘blooming where you are planted’ won’t change that.

W – And this is what leaves me inside of love’s essence…choosing what life is bringing me next.

Y – It really is that simple. Life always changes. It’s up to you to go along or not.

W – And if we don’t go along……

Y – You suffer, but love doesn’t really. Love moves. Suffering is a static state that doesn’t move. Suffering is chosen by the soul as a way to remain in stasis while more courage is cultivated to reenter the flow.

W – And whole new heavens await if we move with love.

Y – They so do.

W – From do do to so do.

Y – That’s what’s rocking your cradle, a newer and better cradle.

W – Why would we ever substitute materialism for this?

Y – This is the real ‘mater’ of materialism. Mother is derived from the word Mater. Mother realism.

W – Whoa. So I am moving from what we call materialism to ‘Motherialism.’

Y – And Mother wants to meet (realize) your ‘material’ needs.

W – I just need to let that in some more.

Y – Let your current cradle tip over into the next one.

W – And become very ‘Motherialistic.’

Y – Let Mother be your reality.

W – Okay, I’ll be a few days digesting that.

Y – Yes, you will.

In this blog series, Mission To Me Journal, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversations with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer Wayne’s process and digestions with Yeshua as he undergoes internal and external preparation to hit the road with his wife Jillian and Christopher Tydeman to explore and eventually settle in Mexico and/or Central America in October 2014 to offer service and be in eco-conscious community. Read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher and Ending The Money Madness With Wayne And Yeshua for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Learning Wants To Possess You With Childlike Wonder – Mission To Me Journal With Wayne And Yeshua: Day Four

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

 

missiontomewayne

By Wayne Vriend

The wonder of being a small child has been crowded out by what we learned (posessed) and replaced with duty, obligation and entitlement.

Wayne – Yeshua, Good Morning? Are your ears on?

Yeshua – Always on, my man.

W – I like it when you call me that…:)

Y – Good! What’s up, my man?

W – I’d like to ask you about learning.

Y – You never get enough do you? We talked about that already, didn’t we?

W – Yeah, but I forgot it all.

Y – Well, how am I supposed to learn you anything if you can’t remember?

W – The fun was in learning, and going ‘wow,’ so I figured if I forgot it all, then I could have fun relearning it. I got that from you actually. Forgetting shit is what leads to being re-membered.

Y – See that, you are learning.

W – Learning to know how to be in not knowing.

Y – And THAT is what tickets you into the theatre of real learning which is always and ever beholding wonder. Wonder by definition is not knowing. Canned knowledge, the kind that most peddle in schools, is learning stripped of wonder.

W – How do I get back to being in wonder, then? I know I suffer from the deadness you are referring to.

Y – Like any other learning, you hold the quest of the question, and see that you can never own or be entitled to any knowing, you can only and ever humbly be a partaker of the wonder, and temporarily at that.

W – Whoa…

Y – And realize that all knowledge is born of not knowing and eventually returns to being forgotten, which is to renunciate (for-get) ownership of the knowledge that was gotten.

W – Knowledge will cease…

Y – Yes, in order to let die what is dying and make way for new wonder.

W – So how do I apply that to say, my spanish studies, is what I’d like to know? By the way, Yeshua, I can so feel the part of me invested in this conversation who feels like a late teenager but is so wanting to learn and grow and make his life count.

Y – Hello to that part of you, Wayne. I recall him as Marvin, yes?

W – Yes, Marvin says ‘Hey Yeshua.’ I think I’ll just let him in on this conversation.

Y – Hey Marvin, I’m liking your desire to be in wonder.

Marvin – Thanks, Yeshua.

Y – What would you say about what we are talking about?

M – I’m feeling how the wonder of being a small child has been forgotten and crowded out by what we learned in school and how getting back to aliveness is about unlearning, not more learning, at least in the way we’ve related to learning.

Y – That says it in a really cool way. And it says how even the essence of childlike wonder is forgotten, but its imprint remains and calls to us.

M – Which is what I want to get back to.

Y- Why?

M – Because it’s boring and dead to be removed from wonder.

Y – Here’s a secret, you don’t need to go back to anything. Nature doesn’t work that way.

M – Huh?

Y – You can get to where you want to be by going forward.

M – That sounds good, but how do I do that?

Y – The childlike wonder gave rise to canned knowledge and to adultlike duty and obligation and entitlement that crowded out the wonder, right?

M – Exactly.

Y – So duty,obligation, and entitlement killed the wonder. Feel the deadness of what you once treasured, how it feels so hopeless to ever return to wonder. That is being in the deadness, which is never dead as we think of it. Death is always alchemical and transmutational. The compost heap of yesterday’s knowledge wants to transmute into the rich and vital organic soil of new wonder.

M – Forgetting in order to be re-membered…

Y – …into never ending wonder

M – How does that relate to our spanish lessons then?

Y – Know that as you learn to speak any word or phrase in spanish, it is being given to you, entrusted, you cannot own it. You don’t actually own english. Owning is the entitled sense that you have english conquered, and thereby you killed the wonder of the experience. Instead feel how language is a collective energy of flowing, not static knowledge, that is given to those who will steward this energy. Get that down pat and you should be able to learn Spanish just fine.

M – But I need to let go of trying to capture the knowledge…

Y – Yes, that’s it. Instead seek to be the grandest host you can be for the knowledge, be a temporary steward of it in its never ending cycle of death and rebirth into more and more wonder. Knowing and not knowing.

M – But I still feel a lot of energy to possess the learning, nail it down, get ahead and all that stuff.

Y – Feel instead how learning wants to possess you. It wants to be hosted in you, animated by you. Learning and wonder can’t have its fun without you.

M – So sign up for letting wonder be reborn in me?

Y – Totally.

M – Thanks, Yeshua

Y – You’re so welcome. I so wait for the day that more folks get onto this phase of real learning. There’s so much more wonder aching to be born.

Wayne – Whoa, Marvin’s an energy all of his own. We were up late last night eating vegan chocolate ice cream and studying spanish, and then we got onto what is real learning and he wanted to talk this out with you. Between the chocolate and the excitement, it was hard getting to sleep. My head still hurts.

Y – I love that feeling of new desire leading and aching out what feels like birth contractions.

W – My aching head needs some more life space to integrate all this Yesh. I think I’ll break here.

Y – Yeah, learning is never ending and it needs life to be in it healthily.

W – Now you can’t stop.

Y – No I can’t. Wonder is so very cool. Thank you Wayne and Marvin for your desire to learn. Learning is all just desire, you know?

W – No, I don’t know, but I’ll save that for another day.

Y – Desire, set free from possessing.

W – Next day Yeshua, Okay.

Y – This is why we have cycles of days you know, to let in more wonder.

W – No I don’t know.

Y – Good!

In this blog series, Mission To Me Journal, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversations with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer Wayne’s process and digestions with Yeshua as he undergoes internal and external preparation to hit the road with his wife Jillian and Christopher Tydeman to explore and eventually settle in Mexico and/or Central America in October 2014 to offer service and conscious community. Read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher and Ending The Money Madness With Wayne And Yeshua for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

All Learning Is Actually Heart-Based Learning – Mission To Me Journal With Wayne And Yeshua: Day Three

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

 

 

 

missiontomewayneBy Wayne Vriend

Feeling based on simple real needs and desires is what’s leading, not the complexity of conformity or inauthenticity.

When learning denies simplicity, it wonders for years in the desert of complexity.

Wayne – Good morning again, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Hey Wayne, what is moving in you?

W – Jillian and I are oceanside, up on a ridge, plenty of view through tall evergreens, great sun, finally warm and the oxygen is amazing.

Y – You noticed the oxygen?

W – I take a deep breath of it when I step outside. It’s pure and alive.

Y – So you’re breathing deeper?

W – Yeah, that’s true physically and metaphorically.

Y – Things that are true physically are true metaphorically.

W – As in?

Y – One day at a time is true physically, right?

W – Uh-huh.

Y – and it’s true metaphorically.

W – We’re getting too simple, part of me says…

Y – You can never get too simple. It’s in the simplicity that complexity is both born as well as sustained.

W – Are you taking us on a mental trip this morning?

Y – We’re only using the mental as a vehicle to probe the heart and open the heart. All learning is actually heart-based learning. All learning begins with feeling and is even sustained by feeling.

W – Wouldn’t some math students beg to differ?

Y – The math student that labors dutifully with learning and doesn’t seem to engage his heart actually has his heart deeply engaged in the process. He just isn’t aware of it. Somewhere in his heart, he has agreed that to get ahead, or to get acceptance, he must sacrifice himself to the most heartless and boring form of learning. It may look like a bunch of mental learning, but it is a human heart first that is the agency of the mind. In this case, it is a wounded heart, on life support that’s leading.

W – Whoa, you’re opening my heart right now.

Y – And what do you feel as that happens?

W – I feel desire, like a deeper breathing, a resonance with an abundant universe, like no shortage of oxygen.

Y – Simplify that a bit for me.

W – I feel good.

Y – You-feel-good. Good. You were created to feel good.

W – A feel good religion?

Y – Totally. I never claimed anything more or less.

W – You didn’t balk at the word, ‘religion’?

Y – I never challenged people’s religions, I challenged their inauthenticity with themselves. Many people are originally drawn to a religion because it made them feel really good. I just want to revive their feel good mechanism, by getting them in touch with how bad they are actually feeling.

W – That’s almost too basic, Yeshua. It’s like offensive to the sophisticated self.

Y – Real learning is soo childlike. Children are natural and complete learners.

W – I love that line of yours – ‘Allow the little children to come unto me, for such is the kingdom of heaven’.

Y – Yeah, and don’t forget the back story. It was a bunch of adults clamoring around me, and they were shushing the noisy children from interrupting their order. I had to make them feel that those childrens interruptions were actually far more in line with learning than their clamoring energy.

W – I can so feel in me a desire to de-adultize myself right now.

Y – I feel that in you and it feels good.

W – Any advice on how to bolster that?

Y – Yes, feel the difference between the pursuit of knowledge or learning or ability from this tainted adult mindset of sophisticated learning and then feel the raw curiosity that the young child has before he or she ‘learned’ to feel superior because of what they learned, which was actually their first damper on learning. Ok, that was a long sentence. What I meant to say is, feel the difference between what is meant and felt by the popular usage of the word ‘learning’, feel the bullshit in it, and then feel the young child’s curiosity, wonder. Ok, that was another long sentence. The short answer is….’feel.’

W – It’s like I can feel the feel good reality like a small child knows it and compare that with the heavily dampened adult feel good reality that is mostly a medicative mechanism.

Y – Yes, you were meant to feel good, and when you don’t feel good, that feeling is the feeling you are given to be with.

W – Like a child doesn’t always feel good?

Y – True, but don’t mistake happiness and contentment or the lack thereof with an absence of feeling.

W – Huh?

Y – The child cries when its needs are not met. It is in feeling touch with its needs, and it makes noise and scrunches up to signal that it wants something. It wants to return to feeling good, but it is still in feeling reality. Feeling based on simple real needs and desires is what’s leading, not the complexity of conformity or inauthenticity.

W – It’s like the child is in touch and so is current with their feelings. Loss or need is expressing in the present, so there isn’t pain or baggage being carried from previous undigested losses.

Y – And that, my friend, is the big dilemma that you are wrestling with in the ache to return to essence. How does one process pain so as to make it digestible?

W – Please go on…

Y – I’d like to learn for a moment here. You give me your best childlike feeling-based answer to that question. Don’t worry if your adult language gets a bit wordy.

W – Hmm, it starts with an awareness that something is limiting and enclosing me off from the quality of the oxygen I was once used to. I don’t expect that I should feel good all the time, but now I recognize that I have become OK with feeling bad. I no longer scream or scrunch up or cry. The only way through the backlog of the baggage of pain, that is the pain I chose to carry along with me, rather than feel it in the moment.

Y – I love that. Simple as that.

W – But there are entire doctorates of learning on this subject in the mental health world.

Y – When learning denies simplicity, it wonders for years in the desert of complexity.

W – Why does learning deny simplicity?

Y – Great childlike question. Why do you think it does that?

W – Well, what comes first for me is the self image grab that folks are looking for in sophistication.

Y – And why would anyone be out looking to grab onto self image?

W – Because they lack a feeling good self, as they are, that needs no image at all.

Y – And why do they lack a feeling good self?

W – Because they stopped feeling good somewhere along the way.

Y – And how did that come about?

W – I think it’s because they were threatened with conformity and fear of loss by a caregiver telling them and training them to be different than they were being.

Y – And why would a tragedy such as that occur under the pretense of care, no less?

W – Because the adult was no longer comfortable with the raw feelings of the child and misery wants company.

Y – And why would misery need company to such degree to sacrifice one’s own child for the cause?

W – Because adults are fucked. Mostly.

Y – What are you feeling as you say that?

W – I’m feeling pissed at how I was duped into giving up my reality for theirs.

Y – There’s a true learning feeling-need that wants to scream and scrunch up. Give it the oxygen that it once knew, but has ‘learned’ to do without.

W – Screaming and oxygen go together.

Y – Yes, good one. You find the scream by tracing back to where you left off the path feeling truly good, and then scream like hell every time you feel tempted to sacrifice your own truth under the barbaric guise of care.

W – Without getting hauled off to the looney bin?

Y – There’s no way to do that actually. If it’s not the literal looney bin, it’s the figurative one being excommunicated by your social world.

W – Where belonging means shutting up just like at 2 years old.

Y – What are you taking from all of this today, Wayne?

W – I so want to re-authorize, even so much more than I already have, my felt reality.

Y – And what is that?

W – My felt reality is self permission to feel and to desire.

Y – Say more.

W – Well, part of me actually is very native still to this feeling desiring world like the one I was born into, but a part of me that has regulated down this reality and judged it as unsafe. I still need to apply for permits to it to have feeling ‘events,’ rather than being simply in full time feeling reality.

Y – And why are you bringing this up on this journey blog series with me?

W – You brought this up?

Y – But you’re talking with yourself.

W – No, you’re talking with yourself.

Y – Good one. You guys are all trying to get spiritual by seeking to know and feel your divinity, while divinity is trying to get in touch with its humanity.

W – That’s kind of a mindblower.

Y – Yeah, thought so. It’s not, ‘what would Jesus do?’ It’s, ‘what would Wayne do?’ What would Wayne do if he was really in his truest human expression where no undigested pain of conformity and compliance were setting the sails?

W – Whoa, now there’s a reality I’d like to find. A back to essence journey. I don’t know the answer to that.

Y – And you know, the divine doesn’t either. It’s reading the book hoping for its money’s worth in an engaging, moving, and learning story. Stories that have stopped learning are complete. They die and return to essence and get back to their beginnings of curiosity and wonder. That’s why you are drawn to journey, Wayne. It’s renewing your lease on learning, not from a place of the power of knowing, but from a place of the wonder and magic of not knowing.

W – So what now?

Y – Breathe deep and feel.

W – But I’ve got a ton of stuff that I feel need guidance, effort, attention and decisions around this adventure that seems to be possessing me more and more.

Y – And the first order of business is deep breathing and feeling like a child does and getting back to essence because that is the entire journey in a nutshell. Everything you learn and grow in in this discovery is nothing more than that. You just need lots of varied life freed from what you’ve learned to get back to learning and to being alive.

W – Okay, there’s a good pause point, because I actually have all the time in the world.

Y – All the time in the world has you.

W – : ) Thanks, Yeshua, Not sure what that means, but I’ll let it in.

Y – Breathe in, Breathe out.

In this blog series, Mission To Me Journal, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversations with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer Wayne’s process and digestions with Yeshua as he undergoes internal and external preparation to hit the road with his wife Jillian and Christopher Tydeman to explore and eventually settle in Mexico and/or Central America in October 2014 to offer service and conscious community. Read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher and Ending The Money Madness With Wayne And Yeshua for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

You Can’t Take A Journey And Stay Where You Are – Mission To Me Journal With Wayne And Yeshua: Day Two

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

 

missiontomewayne

By Wayne Vriend

Staying where you are is a settler’s picture, and it is all right and good when the stars are aligned for that. Settling follows journey though, and is a reward and a natural sequence of rest following a great undertaking. People in your culture find no joy or depth of meaning in their settling and instead get jacked up on religion, materialism, and pop culture because their settling wasn’t preceded by any journey of heart and passion. They’re just doing time in the culture they were born into.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Hey Wayne, Good Morning.

W – Summers definitely here, a bit on the early side of it, but it’s here. The morning birdsong is really sweet.

Y – Cool. What’s cooking now?

W – Well, this is a daily ride already, daily ups and downs. Yesterday was an opened out feeling after our talk and then a contraction of mourning and what felt like a fear, even some tears, but I think the word ‘contraction’ better describes it than a fear, though there is definitely concern for how we will be around food and shelter and safety.

Y – What was the contraction over?

W – It felt like some sadness over letting go of the place we’ve made home, our attachment to it, the comfort in it. Jillian and I have been in the Motorhome RV we call Terra for 5 months now, and it’s just been getting to a place where part of me really likes the ease and simplicity of it, the easy budget, the reduced efforts around chasing fiat currency, the trees, the creek, the ocean.

Y – I love how you guys are so current with your feelings. You wouldn’t be able to walk this out with a bunch of unfelt and unhealed reactions clogging your heart.

W – Thank you, Yeshua. I’ve had that very same feeling. It feels good to let in that we have come a long ways, that we have achieved something, that we reached for something that mattered in pursuing our own emotional healing and especially the letting go of what stood in the way of that. It’s hurt like hell at times, but the rewards have been present tense.

Y – It doesn’t get talked about because it has been so off radar. Hell, it was off my radar. Being in shape emotionally takes work and choice and a way of life to support that. It’s what’s next for humanity.

W – You said a moment ago ‘being able to walk this out?’ Can you tell me more about what this is?

Y – You don’t know?

W – I know what I don’t know.

Y – I like that answer. 🙂 THIS is a growth in discovery, beginning from where you are right now, where desire and choice are emerging into your consciousness, precipitating more desire and the contractions you refer to. It’s a process that you surrender to, that changes you as you go. You can’t linearly and literally know what this is, but you can feel it and respond to it in real and grounded ways where the heart is leading and clarity is following and trailing close behind. It’s like we talked about before…….you can’t steer a parked car. It begins with motion.

W – I like what you said yesterday, or was it me? That you can’t embark on a journey and stay where you are.

Y – I said that.

W – I thought it was me.

Y – Well, we’re wrapped up in this pretty closely. Maybe we both downloaded it and one of us spoke it. Speaking prophetically is as easy as falling off a log when you open your heart and let out your desire.

W – I’m learning that and liking that. Somehow though that simple statement about staying or leaving hits me deeply. Can you say more in that prophetic energy of yours?

Y – Staying where you are is a settler’s picture, and it is all right and good when the stars are aligned for that. Settling follows journey though, and is a reward and a natural sequence of rest following a great undertaking. People in your culture find no joy or depth of meaning in their settling and instead get jacked up on religion, materialism, and pop culture because their settling wasn’t preceded by any journey of heart and passion. They’re just doing time in the culture they were born into.

W – I feel that in myself with all the journeying I’ve done this life. I heard it said years ago that all of life is essentially about entering and leaving. I like that because it makes sacred in our awareness all the stages and phases of life, even how we enter and hopefully leave times of darkness, or being asleep to deeper reality, both personally and collectively.

Y – It’s really coded deep into human life. Every human life is a journey, starting with a cell or two. Desire leads it on. Contractions are not intended to arrest the journey, but to open it out to deeper meaning and fulfillment. The divine is seeking its own fulfillment through you. The fullness that fills all in all and all that.

W – For me personally, I feel I’m approaching a ceiling in my growth where to remain too much longer in this culture and country of my birth seems to be grating against my next growth edge. And it’s getting really boring and uninteresting as well.

Y – So what’s your sense of what’s at stake?

W – Well, that’s emerging more than it is here for me in stark clarity, but what I can feel right now is I know I am meant to inhabit a deeper passion, a deeper leadership, a deeper soul energetic that people around can feel that compels them to drop their own facades and false gods. I’m having trouble doing that where I am also invested in the settler’s making ends meet picture, and fitting into some charismatic leader picture that draws a following.

Y – I say fuck the charismatic leader picture, Wayne. Charisma, as it’s become known today is almost a hundred percent bullshit. The era of the charismatic leader is over and it’s not selling like it used to. It was a good ride while it lasted, but mostly in the sense that it brought us collectively to a readiness to abandon that ship and seek a much more seaworthy vessel for the journey of our lives. Realness will soon be the only currency that spends in the domains of what actually matters.

W – Okay then. Fuck that picture. I really spent a long time in my life imagining myself as a sought after and famous charismatic leader. My buy-in into Christianity this life and others was mostly about that I can feel now, to be about ‘what really mattered,’ and to be well known for that.

Y – It may well be in your soul path, Wayne, to be well known at some point, but right now, every well known leader is in the middle of a collective bullshit detector shit storm where humanity is growing up and owning their own responsibility to follow their own lead. If you can lead in that, whoever follows, in whatever number, won’t lack for any meaning or fulfillment.

W – So we’re in the midst of these ideological journeys as a species that involve leaving safe shores and letting die things that were really treasured and revered…

Y – …that mirrors the physical journey you guys are feeling called to. The journey you take always manifests itself in real life action and choice. Deadness and boredom are a manifestation of remaining somewhere when you are called to leave. Leaving is the path to re-engagement.

W – Yeshua, what about the folks, though, that relate to travel or leaving as some medication to their unfelt emotional pains?

Y – Yeah, like the Christians who can’t wait for the rapture.

W – Exactly, or the folks who can’t wait for their next package ‘vacation.’

Y – Only people who are stuck see travel as a dream, or a medication for their pain. You’ve dealt to a pretty high degree with your stuckness this life having finished up with Christianity and a marriage that was complete and a self image that was running out of gas in all of that. Leaving a culture behind that you are considering now isn’t a travel package; it’s a next step into life. You’re not vacating something that you plan to return to, your leaving something behind for good, because it gets burned up as you go. There’s nothing to return to. That’s why parts of you, of course, have their necessary contraction reaction. It’s no different really than leaving the womb.

W – You’re a lot to take in, Yeshua.

Y – Did you get that point? – contractions precede birthings.

W – I know you can’t quit…yes, I need to take in that point…thank you. Thank you for your willingness to digest and feel this whole emerging trajectory with me. I feel this whole thing can be so much more lovingly navigated than what part of me imagines it to be at times.

Y – Well, like you said, this is a mission first to every part of yourself. In the end, you’re the only person you can save.

W – Is that true?

Y – Let’s save that for another day.

In this blog series, Mission To Me Journal, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversations with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer Wayne’s process and digestions with Yeshua as he undergoes internal and external preparation to hit the road with his wife Jillian and Christopher Tydeman to explore and eventually settle in Mexico and/or Central America in October 2014 to offer service and conscious community. Read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher and Ending The Money Madness With Wayne And Yeshua for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

The World Of Never Ending Discovery – Mission To Me Journal With Wayne And Yeshua: Day One

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

missiontome

By Wayne Vriend

This discovery is about actually making real inside of you and outside of you a new story, that doesn’t impose anything on anyone, but offers the same heart open invitation to others that you are making to yourself. It’s ready to feel anything and everything that comes up along the way to be felt and re-membered back into your heart.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Good Morning, Wayne.

W – I know that’s kind of a cultural greeting, but it somehow works for us.

Y – It works for us because our hearts are open, and that energy transmutes the words into heartland.

W – Energy really is more than the words or the language, isn’t it?

Y – Way more. The language is born from the energy. The connecting starts first in the energy, then that opens out into shared dialect, which makes for dialogue, or conversation, from and by which you are literally ‘converted.’

W – Whoa, you feel ready to go…

Y – I am.

W – You say, ‘literally converted’…

Y – Yeah, that’s using words to provoke and awaken. It’s a license I give myself. It doesn’t always find its target, but I keep probing till it does.

W – There’s been a lot of ‘conversion’ energy gone on in your name, so I’m curious why you chose such a charged word.

Y – Yeah, that’s the cool thing about charged words; they help crack through the shell of normalcy and return you to wonder and awe with the world around you. The wonder of language works well for both putting to sleep or to awakening. I chose the word convert, to draw awareness to its root of conversation. From there, it’s easy to feel how either a conversation can be imbued with heart, which cannot leave both parties unchanged, or it can be imbued with the mental mechanics of head designed to screen out the heart, which leaves both parties deadened. Conversation of heart brings both to conversion.

W – Conversion to what though?

Y – Conversion to the world of heart. It’s a return to essence. It’s a return to the life force interconnecting all living things and all matter, on all planes, both seen and unseen. Something like that.

W – It’s got me going.

Y – Do you remember I said ‘you need not that any man teach you, for the spirit of truth shall lead you into all truth.’

W – I do recall. King James english and all.

Y – See, thou knowest. 🙂 Here’s the deal though, I was a man teaching that you don’t need a man to teach you. What I meant was your heart is sovereign over the influence of any other. Through the heart, you can feel what feels true and what doesn’t. You can only and ever follow your truth. That mechanism gets messed up though when people are unable to access their own heart and that dimension is blocked and there is no healthy self ‘author’-ity. Then they are left to being converted by an other instead of being mutually changed into more and more heartland expression.

W – I like that.

Y – I like that too, and can get caught up in the theory of it all, but we didn’t come here just to mentally masturbate over metaphysics,…. what brings you here, Wayne?

W – Yeshua, I’ve been having a big flood of desire rumble through for about a week now. It feels a bit like a rising earthquake, and a roller coaster all in one. I feel I really need your help to not let an ounce of this life juice go to waste.

Y – Earthquake rumbling roller coaster of desire…around what?

W – It’s a bit vulnerable to put it into words, publicly. I’d like to digest with you too whether this should be public, but I think I already know,…what has arisen is a deep desire to take a journey and leave my geographical and cultural home and possibly never come back.

Y – Say more.

W – I feel I’ve reached a ceiling, or maybe am approaching a ceiling in my growth this life by living in the culture and way of life afforded me by the country and culture of my birth. Something really basic in my wiring around way of life, livelihood, language even, money and self image stuff that leaves me on a safe shore, but uninitiated to something deeper. It’s the settler vs discoverer thing coming back to haunt me. Jillian’s infected with this too. So is Christopher. We’ve been infecting each other, you might say. It’s already been times of excitement and desire, and then feeling ‘what are we thinking?’

Y – And how do you feel I could help with this?

W – Well, I guess you could say it gets back to what you said earlier. I need to be changed by heart to heart conversation and conversion if I’m going to undertake holding this desire, let alone undertake the choices around it all.

Y – Ok then, we weren’t just mentally masturbating together then.

W – Nope.

Y – Entire worlds of exploration are left closed to us when we cannot access heart, and heart is accessed by heart. You can do this self to self and you can do this self with other. Both are true. Both are alive, and both are largely kept off people’s radar because new world’s long and call to be explored, and most don’t have the coin to make the purchase.

W – You sound like you’re into helping me sort through this one?

Y – Wouldn’t miss it for the world, you could say, but more accurately in my book, this is the world…never ending discovery.

W – And if not discovery for the sake of pillaging and conquering, then what, Yeshua?

Y – Pillaging and conquering is all about the story of separation and scarcity. This discovery is about actually making real inside of you and outside of you a new story. A story that doesn’t impose anything on anyone, but offers the same heart open invitation to others that you are making to yourself. It’s ready to feel anything and everything that comes up along the way to be felt and re-membered back into your heart. It’s a profoundly personal journey and profoundly an interconnected journey with all humanity. It’s subscribing to a new story.

W – A new story that I can’t quite access in the way I’d like to by remaining where I am…

Y – You can’t take a journey and stay where you are…no.

W – This is going to be a ride, Yeshua. I can feel it in you, and what it stirs in us. Any idea what we can name it for the sake of the blog?

Y – Not a clue.

W – No way… I stumped you for words?

Y – What would you name it without killing it?

W – I know what you mean, language is so used to capture and conquer, to help manage our unfelt fears.

Y – Maybe you need to keep renaming it as you go, by letting the name evolve and flow from those together on the journey, as you are changed by the journey.

W – I like that, but I still need something to put at the top of this for now.

Y – As in a ‘title,’ as if you then ‘own’ it.

W – Can I ‘title’ it something without owning it and killing it?

Y – That’s going to take some work actually, and some collaborating to steward this into being rather than owning it into being.

W – I thought of calling it ‘Mission to Me.’

Y – I like the feel of that for now. Maybe add in their somehow – ‘the journal of my journey’

W – I feel like we’ve just opened a big can of whoop-ass worms.

Y – It’s gonna take fight, you’re right, and rest too.

W – I want to feel every inch of this with you, and with those that are drawn into the journey.

Y – I’ll show up for that.

W – I waited this week to try and be sure that I would show up for what I knew you would be willing to show up for.

Y – All you have to show up for is your own heart Wayne. The rest takes care of itself.

W – I’ve got some major climatizing to do for this next leg of my journey. I’m looking forward to the learning and the liberation.

Y – I’m into this for the same reasons Wayne. As a teacher of humanity, I only get to my next places by going there with others.

W – Talk again tomorrow?

Y – Totally. One day at a time.

In this blog series, Mission To Me Journal, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversations with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer Wayne’s process and digestions with Yeshua as he undergoes internal and external preparation to hit the road with his wife Jillian and Christopher Tydeman to explore and eventually settle in Mexico and/or Central America in October 2014 to offer service and conscious community. Read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher and Ending The Money Madness With Wayne And Yeshua for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 1: Money Is Energy

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

yeshuamoneymadness

Money never lies. It can’t lie. Want to see the truth? Look at the dashboard of the money. Money is always and forever only energy. Energy that can flow in abundance and be impeded in scarcity.

Wayne – Yeshua, This is Wayne. Are you there?

Yeshua – I am always here. Where have you been? 🙂

W – I’ve been busy, too busy, but I miss you. We talked last about talking about money together and I wanted to see if it’s time.

Y – Time?

W – You know what I mean…

Y – I do, and sorry for being testy right off the bat. I miss you and I miss our connecting.

W – I miss you too. Christopher [Gabriel] tells me he misses my conversations with you. Jillian [Jelelle] and Kathleen [Kalayna] tell me they are waiting. Fran says she took notes from our last conversations.

Y – And you are waiting for the right time?

W – Well, I don’t know what to say about that. I could go off on how busy it’s been or how full it’s felt having adjusted to living for a couple months now in an RV in a campground.

Y – Time is an illusion.

W – Okay…

Y – I’d like to hear the RV stories, I just wanted to dive in.

W – I like that about you. ‘No pissing around,’ we said last time. Partly to offend the offendable, and partly out of a desire to blow shit up…to get on with something that so wants to be gotten on with.

Y – And Money is an illusion too.

W – I know that. I should say I’ve heard that before and even made some sense of it, but inevitably the illusion becomes more of a reality. My time, energy and anxiety seem to default to something like ‘my life revolves around money.’ Part of the reason I’ve waited to have the space for this conversation with you was waiting for a time when the money concerns are looked after in the moment. As In ‘now I’m free to be creative and give what I truly have and want to give.’

Y – And have fun giving?

W – The funnest fun actually.

Y – So you’re saying that it feels like a lot of the time, or most of the time possibly, it feels like you don’t have the time or money to have fun?

W – Pretty much.

Y – Why would you do anything that you don’t have fun doing?

W – You mean ‘fun’ as in gaining reward and pleasure, doing what we most deeply enjoy…

Y – Anything less isn’t fun. I’m not talking about the boring trash that passes as fun for so many people. Most people have no clue what fun is. It’s like anyone who’s had an orgasm thinks they know what it’s about.

W – What is it about?

Y – It’s about not knowing what it’s about, and knowing you don’t know. Which is what allows you entry into real unending learning.

W – I like learning about orgasms.

Y – I know you do.

W – Do you think we’ll be able to stay on track and uncover some really cool shit about money together?

Y – I do. And we’ll kill some sacred cows about sex and time while we’re at it, too.

W – We’re not sounding too smug right now?

Y – Too smug for some for sure, but most of them will never find this writing anyway. To those who do find this writing and find being direct and plain and transparent offensive, I’d say that you need to live some life for the sole purpose of coming to terms with what you really want. Because until you know what you want, what you really want, you are not of much use to life, love, others, or God. You are use-less instead of use-full.

W – I’ve wanted conflicting things for much of my life and I’m sure I still do.

Y – And is it fun?

W – No, it’s conflict.

Y – The only conflict worth having is conflict that brings you back to real fun.

W – And all this has to do with money I’m sure…?

Y – If money IS anything, It’s an agreement. It’s an agreement about how we will exchange energy. We’ll get into that I’m sure, but for now, I want to come to an agreement about we will exchange energy in this dialogue.

W – Okay.

Y – For starters, I definitely don’t want to do all the teaching, more like half teacher, half student.

W – Okay, then we’ll have a half a series on money?

Y – No wise guy. You get to do the other half.

W – I get it only works that way.

Y – And why does it only work that way?

W – When any one of us give over all of our power over to the teacher and see ourselves as students only, we abdicate our sovereignty and our power and that just hurts.

Y – And been there, done that right?

W – Enough lifetimes to be finally done with it.

Y – Good. This is an exchange of energy. At times you bring the questions, at times I will. That’s coquesting.

W – ‘Co-questing?’ You’re just gonna keep making up words aren’t you?

Y – What word do you know that wasn’t made up?

W – If the human race is anything, it’s making itself up as it goes.

Y – Yes, teacher.

W – There’s the ‘Word Of God.’

Y – There’s the word of Wayne.

W – Where’s this going?

Y – You started it.

W – Yes, I did. Maybe all of my former esteem for the bible as the Word Of God was really about a journey of coming to terms with the fear of my own bigness, with the power of my own words? With being a god and a man at the same time?

Y – Maybe?

W – I’m using the power of suggestion here and of being in ‘not-knowing’ as well.

Y – Okay, fair enough as long as it’s not a shrink from hiding your truth. The world is starving for your truth. Men and women have hidden their truth under a bushel of ‘thee truth’ for so long, and that time is now up. That’s why we are in the midst of a great shift, and we need conversations like this one to assist in the birth of what’s coming.

W – And money has been a container for the power of our truth, hasn’t it?

Y – Money never lies. It can’t lie. Want to see the truth? Look at the dashboard of the money. Money is always and forever only energy. Energy that can flow in abundance and be impeded in scarcity. Yes, much of the truth of one’s life can be seen in our relationship to money. Whether you’re stuck in a rat-race, or you’re unfulfilled with all the money in the world, money only and always reflects an internal reality.

W – I think we opened up this question more than we addressed it today.

Y – Insight can only come in response to the quality of the quest. It’s a flow, a current, a currency. No question, no quest.

W – I have lots of questions.

Y – Good. Treasure them. We need them. Guard them.

W – The deadest man is the man who still breathes, but has lost his quest.

Y – Wow, Wayne, looks like we started something.

W – ‘Walking with Jesus,… talking with Jesus,… all along the way…’

Y –  ‘Turn in your hymnals please to the third stanza of hymn number 389.’

W – ‘All together now.’

Y – We’ve so ached for so many centuries to find something. We’ve given our hearts and souls. Our lives, our time, our money.

W – Only to find out that what we thought we knew, we don’t know.

Y – And not knowing is only and always what leads to knowing…

W – Which in turn leads to more not knowing.

Y – Exactly.

W- So this book might turn out to be one big disappointment?

Y – Only for those allergic to fun.

W – I missed you, man

Y – I missed you too.

W – How much of this can we stand?

Y – We’re about to find out, aren’t we?

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.org for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 2: Feeling-Based Currency

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

yeshuamoneymadness

The fear of the flow ending is real. The money madness we want to speak to is where we offer that the fear of being out of the flow, inherent in simply being alive, has created a false world. A world that doesn’t appear very false at all, yet is designed to remove us from feeling the inherent vulnerabilty of being human.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua. Wow, where to start today?

Yeshua – Start with what you are feeling. Feeling is current, as in flow. So is money, as in currency.

W – I’m feeling a mixed bunch of feelings actually this morning, more digestions and anxiety around RV living, moving more and more towards community with SoulFullHeart as compared to a more sterile ‘healing offering,’ then I’m feeling some press towards a number of ‘to dos’ for today. I’m also digesting the awkward talk I had with a man over tea yesterday bringing my truth in the face of his unfeeling, brilliant, mental genius…

Y – A ton of content for sure, can you feel a container of any kind to hold it all this morning?

W – Well, yes, I feel my own vulnerability underlying all the change, parts of me seeking reassurance that this all isn’t heading to an undesirable place. That leads me to reach out to the Divine Mother simply asking for that holding and love and care and guidance and energy to respond.

Y – And what response have you felt?

W – So far, I felt a sense of that ‘yes, I am being held.’ And I felt guided to open up our dialogue, to make finding and seeking my way something I do out loud as a gift to others who resonate.

Y – So why care about others when you are feeling admittedly close to the edge?

W – Because all of us are actually very vulnerable to changes. Most of us are too medicated to feel that though. A big medication of choice in my past has been a watertight relationship with money that was about ‘getting ahead’ at all costs, and we’ll give attention to other things when we are elusively somehow ‘ahead’. Living free of this unhealthy relationship with money for me involves a process of being transparent with where I am really at, inviting others to feel with me their changing reality, and giving what I have to give now, instead of waiting for some right time.

Y – And why do it through talking with me?

W – You get right down to business, don’t you?

Y – …No time to waste and all the time in the world. Though I’m leaning towards no time to waste at the moment…

W – I get that me authoring a ‘well written’ book, with a well crafted scope and table of contents, and great arguments, as if the guidance and knowledge I would share somehow came from my superior learned humanity, would be the only way that many people could take in what I have to offer. Me the brilliant author and them the brilliant student/resourcer. But dialoguing with you, Yeshua, instead as a means of giving seems way more interesting to me. Of course, for so many, the very idea that I am talking with Yeshua is a leap that they can’t take……at least, not yet. I’m looking for those who are ready to take this leap. Into themselves. Into new relationality, with themselves, with others, and with the Divine.

Y – Okay, long answer. Where to you put me in the relationality list you just gave – yourself, others or the divine?

W – Hmmm’ 🙂 Where would you like to be?

Y – I asked first…

W – Sometimes you feel like this really cool part of me that has laid dormant for most of my life, that when I get the self permission to just connect with you, I can obtain all the guidance and energy and resource that I need to find my way. In Soulfullheart, we call this part of us our Gatekeeper. But then, at other times, you feel like an Ascended Teacher. One who has returned to source from several earth journeys who at present makes yourself available to help whoever is ready and willing. Then I feel that it is my Gatekeeper, my inspirational muse is the one who likes to connect with you, as the Ascended Teacher. That’s as sure as I can be at the moment, which isn’t mentally that sure, much more so a feeling-based surety.

Y – ‘Feeling-based surety’…you’re feeling a little backed up with all the ideas your throwing around so quickly here. It’s a bit hard to keep on track.

W – It’s meant to be. Feeling-based cognition is meant to interrupt the mind through chaos.

Y – Yes, teacher…continue…

W – What did I get myself into?…okay, I’ll try. The mind seeks line upon line solid answers to afford a sense of security and dependability. The heart which is more an expression of our Divinity needs no such surety to feel safe. The heart feels safe and secure in chaos, for it knows that chaos is never only a death, but always a death and a rebirth. As humans, we are huge expressions of this re-creative force in the earth. How did that sound?

Y – Like major enlightened shit, man. How does it feel?

W – Like I have a lit rocket strapped to my ass sometimes and scary as hell.

Y – Sounds like currency flow to me.

W – Huh?

Y – Being in need, which was your essence since the chromosome and the egg came together, and getting your needs met has been the underlying vulnerability to all of your life. The fear of the flow ending is real. The money madness we want to speak to is where we offer that the fear of being out of the flow, inherent in simply being alive, has created a false world. A world that doesn’t appear very false at all, yet is designed to remove us from feeling the inherent vulnerabilty of being human.

W – Which is another way of saying that all too often the more money one has, the deader they are…

Y – Mostly true, no doubt. The reason though that any soul chooses to come into any given life is to work this fear of death. It’s the underlayer that underlies all the activity of life. It’s even written in the Divine’s essence as well. The divine itself doesn’t believe it has a guarantee of never facing a complete demise, a ceasing to be. Being is such a great opportunity, so it naturally fears loss of the privilege. The Divine lives in the unknown, feeling its own vulnerability, and when we are up for tuning in that frequency, we can get on with some really exciting living.

W – Wow, you just like rewrote the whole cosmos thing.

Y – If we’re going to end the money madness, we’re gonna need to get to the root of some things.

W – Just between you and me, Yeshua, I can definitely feel a part of me who is not so sure we are going to uncover anything.

Y – And I like that part of you, because it’s way more real than a false-self bravado claiming to have some answer. It’s not the one with the biggest answers who wins this race, it’s the one with the biggest questions.

W – Like the child who annoys his dad by asking ‘why’ to every answer he gets…

Y – Except here, you won’t get annoyance. You will get childlike wonder and awe and transparency, and in that, you get trans-parented into a new reality.

W – Okay, there’s the second word created: ‘transparented.’ Are we going to keep a dictionary on these?

Y – I like just launching them instead. Dictionaries are bit boring, to me at least. Words are currency; they are flow. All of them are made up and so is money.

W – Feeling full again, Yeshua. You’re a lot, you know?

Y – I’m a lot? You never stop asking questions.

W – But said you wouldn’t get annoyed…

Y – Unless I do. Conflict isn’t such a bad thing, you know. Way underrated. Conflict is what moves us. Another currency. Feeling-based currency. All currency begins as feeling.

W – For tomorrow?

Y – For the rest of your life.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 3: Collisions, Chaos, And Great Destruction

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

yeshuamoneymadness

 The faster the fixes and the bucks come, the bigger the disillusionment. And rightfully so. This entire epoch of humanity is making a great shift, and money in its current dominant form is a very deep expression of that shift. There’s collisions, chaos, and great destruction coming to the world of money. It needs to come.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua. A clear and warmer morning brewing here.

Yeshua – Hey, Wayne. I like the feeling of that. What’s brewing in you?

W – My mind is definitely wanting to wrap around some of the lifestyle changes that have come as result of shifting from pursuing money to pursuing passion purpose. I’d like to live that, teach that, advocate for that, help others into that. And not just my mind, but my heart as well.

Y – It feels like a wrestling though.

W – It does. There feels like a lot of conditioning to wade through just to find the space to feel this desire, to get beyond the numbness of routine and being in the collective consciousness around it all.

Y – How can I help you with all of that?

W – I’d like to tune in my soul’s purpose right now. I’d like to feel the lessons I came here this life to learn. I’d like to feel the gifts I came here to give. I suspect those two are closely related.

Y – Why is that difficult to do? Why do you need to effort ‘tuning it in’, as you say?

W – I’m going inside looking for an answer to that question,… It feels like I’m afraid of moving too far away from the collective consciousness, that I will somehow become irrelevant and if I don’t relate, then I am in danger of dying and losing out.

Y – Thanks for naming that huge fear, which is extremely common to all men and women, but so unfelt in how much it shapes and leads culture and relationships. And, let me say, there is validity to it. Your life and its needs, needs to be grounded in the needs of others. Needs, Needs, Needs. Being a soul, being a human is about needs. You need. I need. We all need. Every cell in your body needs. Every fiber in your heart wants and needs. The degree of that need in all men and women is evident by the degree that people suppress it into the unconscious as a way to deal with it.

W –  On that note, I want to say that part of me sometimes honestly wonders if I’ve done myself any favors by opening myself out to such large degree to feel this insecurity. It doesn’t feel good, or fun.

Y – I get that. I do. What’s the option, may I ask?

W – Well, for me, I don’t feel there is much of an option. I keep feeling how false the money security world is. I recall how deep the rumbling for something more went in me when I was given to the collective consciousness around money. I’ve felt plenty how isolated I was from relationships, time starved, stuck in a rat race, and sacrificing my heart and my health too. I think, Yeshua, the feeling is a fear of being half born somehow. I relate to the old and the new, and the old isn’t quite gone and the new isn’t quite here, and I’m in the middle somewhere. Living in a leaking RV I might add, that I’m going to be caulking in today’s sunshine.

Y – Thee most courageous guide, Wayne, is not someone who’s done the journey and is now showing others. The most courageous guide is someone who hasn’t done the journey, and is willing to show others how to be in the unknown, as he or she takes that very journey. That’s the true elite.

W – I get the sentiment of that. It goes into my heart. But I also get a judging voice that says I shouldn’t be focused on being some elite.

Y – Tell me a little more about that voice, where does it originate in you?

W – It has to do with others from my past who might judge me for pulling out of my former life deeply embedded in Christianity, that the motives moving me have something to do with a superiority complex.

Y – Okay, then I agree with you. In your words, you shouldn’t be focused on being some elite, but I would add, you do need to be okay with simply living the elite being that you are. A king who doesn’t know he is king is no king at all. He doesn’t get to inhabit his true domain. This really is about worth. It gets into superiority. There is your worth as a human which cannot be more or less than any other human. But functionally…hello…I’d say, you best make yourself worthy to others in some way shape or form given all those raging needs we just mentioned. You’re going to have to come to terms with that superiority judgment, and get into living the elite that you are.

W – Okay, so then how do I find and offer my deepest worth to others, and get compensated for it?

Y – THAT, the first part of that question is the alive question. The second part of how do you get compensated for it, really takes care of itself. We can talk more about that part later. But the question of how to find your deepest offering and how do you offer it – is one huge QUEST. Being on a quest is to be given to the question; heart, soul and body. Your life blood is living into that quest. It begins with saying ‘no’ to what you know it is not. How could you even begin to make room for this exploration when your life is filled with the collective unconscious world of being under the tyranny of money?

W – I felt a bit bratty just then when I asked the question, as if I could get some secret short convenient answer that just unlocks or fixes my dilemma. I feel the whole false world of money is out seeking fixes and fast bucks.

Y – And the faster the fixes and the bucks come, the bigger the disillusionment. And rightfully so. This entire epoch of humanity is making a great shift, and money in its current dominant form is a very deep expression of that shift. There’s collisions, chaos, and great destruction coming to the world of money. It needs to come.

W – Sometimes that feels exciting, but often it just feels scary too. All of us are so tuned into ‘how will I fare?’ in these great shifts.

Y – That isn’t a bad question at all though. It’s a very human one. There are some very practical and grounded things you can do. The cool thing about it all is finding the thing that you can do that is in your personal best and highest self interest and just so happens to be in the highest and best interest of others. That is your most valuable contribution, that will fulfill your deepest needs. To the degree you can’t negotiate this inside of yourself, you are left with living in the collective consciousness fear ground of money. It’s being shaken up right now, but you can still niggle some ‘You can’t blame me’ for your own unfulfillment if you just hang out there. There won’t be any shortage of being in the company of victims.

W – This Quest, Yeshua, is one I know that at the end of my life, I will be assessing how I embraced it or how I shied away from it. All other achievements won’t stack up to anything in comparison,, except of course sex with Jillian. It is the real soul journey. Did I live my purpose? What legacy am I leaving? What I need and want now though is more guidance and juice on how to walk out the few decades between now and then.

Y – Sex with Jillian comes close, that’s so cool. This is meant to be deeply fulfilling and rewarding. You can’t pack this much fun anywhere else in the universe but in this earth realm. It is waiting to be reinvented, so I say, get on with your superiority and get on with your sex life, and your heart-on, and your hard-on, for all of LIFE. Find what you have to give, never stop finding it, give it away in the most effective way that you can. Let this passion arise in you, let it flow through you. Let it reinvent you. Let it kill you. Let it enliven you.

W – Yeshua, you always seem to open out more questions than you seem to solve, but I get that’s part of the new reality. We need much bigger questions that the teeny ones we have now. Thank you for showing up again.

Y – It’s all in a days work, my friend. Thank you for showing up.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 4: Love Is The Answer To All Of Our Money Problems

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

Money-Love-Heart

 I feel that love you were referring to is really self-love. Love can only come from a self and it can only come to a self. We’ve made selfishness an evil thing, when the truth is much closer to what we have called selfishness is the result of not having loved ourselves, and we’re attempting to do human life without our heart connected to our mind. 

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua

Yeshua – Good Morning, Wayne.

W – Yeshua, thank you for this conversation. For your heart open care and love. Top that off with giving the mind some guidance and illumination that it has been wanting for a long time, and it is a royal treat.

Y – Who knew that you could go inside yourself and find that? That is really the big lesson here. Money is only and ever an external reflection of your internal reality. Maybe we’ll get into that more today. But before we do, I want to feel a few things first.

W – Sounds good to me. Whatever may they be?

Y – I wasn’t sure myself, I could just feel a wanting to go into some heart ground first before we go mental. Everyone seems to be jacked up on mental answers for their dilemma. I get that. I understand that, as the mind is the primary moderator of life and solutions to problems are sought out primarily from the mind. I’d like to find a solution from the heart that the mind can get on board with. For that to happen, we need to the mind to admit its fear, its exhaustion and its plain old meanness.

W – Meanness?

Y – Yes, the mind can get really tyrannical. Judgments, chaotic thoughts, complete shutdown. It goes from screaming to sleeping and back to screaming. It doesn’t have the answers it needs, and it’s like a cornered animal.

W – Instinctual, you mean?

Y – Exactly. It is meant to support and help, but not lead. When its support and help structure is threatened with collapse, it gets thrashy. And this is where the heart needs to come in and feel. Feel the underlying anxiety. Actually feel the textures of what the mind is feeling as it is feeling it.

W – You’re calling it ‘the mind’ just now, and I’d call it the mental part of ourselves.

Y – I figured you could say this part better, please go on.

W – 🙂 Thanks. I’d like to stay on our thread just now, but I also want to back up a moment and just feel the people who are reading this. How they happened upon your and my conversation. How they came to their particular life dilemma. How they feel about reading a dialogue between a guy and what he claims is an ascended teacher. I want to say thank you for to every heart that is taking this in. Feeling it together. It’s moving stuff in the grids, and if it only moves a single grain of sand on the beach, but that space is enough for hearts to live in and find their way to freedom from the tyranny of money, then that’s pretty wayyy coool, huh, Yesh?

Y – This is so true. Power structures really do collapse when one person makes their way out of the matrix. The rest is just the mop up operation.

W – Yes, now you were saying the mind. I wanted to make the mind a part of ourselves. Feeling it as a part I mean more than how we hear those words used. I mean talking to the part with patience, respect, with making and efforting and holding a connection. That’s relationality with ourselves. We are made up of many undiscovered parts who each hold different feelings about money. These feelings manifest as all kinds of varied money collisions in our lives. Our money is in crisis and conflict because our energy is in crisis and conflict. And this conflict isn’t something to be conquered, but rather embraced.

Y – Wow, we’re hitting some really big points here. I hope people’s minds can keep up with the heart energy. That takes some getting in shape, no doubt. Yes, conflict, external or internal is often…(I was going to say ‘always’, but I’ll let up a bit on the language of certainty) a manifestation of change that is wanting to make its way. Which raises the really good question for someone to take in: ‘How much of the money dilemma you find yourself in is being impacted by an unwillingness to embrace change?’

W – Good one, Yesh. I know this is elementary stuff, but I so need to hear it again. Then the follow up question to that that comes for me is: ‘What would embracing change rather than resisting it look and feel like to you?’

Y – …Ending the meanness by letting in love and grace that you were previously closed off to. This is the inner manifesting in the outer. Meanness inside. Meanness outside. When people find themselves in and under financial tyranny, they can be sure they have a part of themselves, like you said Wayne, a living breathing sentient part of themselves swimming in that tyranny. Only as they themselves are willing to be a loving and patient ambassador to that part of themselves can they ever make a healthy change in what’s happening externally.

W – And what comes after that?

Y – Love is what comes after that, and love is the answer to all of our money problems.

W – My heart agrees with that no doubt, but my mind needs more data to live that out. Can you help me more on that one?

Y – My mind wants to rest just now. What do you feel about it?

W – Well, when you said that, I feel that love you were referring to is really self-love. Love can only come from a self and it can only come to a self. We’ve made selfishness an evil thing, when the truth is much closer to what we have called selfishness is the result of not having loved ourselves, and we’re attempting to do human life without our heart connected to our mind. Now the mind is kicking up a really good fuss, thank god.

Y – Okay, good one, and what that springs for me is how fundamental this is to money. Money is only and ever an expression of our energy in the world, personally and collectively. If anyone is to change anything regarding money in their lives, it begins with going inside. This is true for healthy changes and unhealthy changes. The deal is now about consciously and healthily cooperating with the changes that are arising in our lives.

W – So can we put something practical in here? I mean, how do we do that? Not that what were saying isn’t practical, but I can so feel parts of me and parts of others saying fine theory, but how does that work in real life?

Y – What they are in fact saying with those words is a resistance to change. Understandably so. You aren’t going to get parts of yourself so invested for so long in old ways of being to embrace a new way without long overdue process. The process is patient and kind self love. Anyone who only is seeking a quick fix answer, a solution that affords them the illusion that there isn’t real and deep conflict going on inside themselves is only advocating for the meanness to be left intact.

W – Money dilemmas will either be the death of folks or the rebirth of them.

Y – …your greatest friend or your greatest enemy. You decide.

W – Wow, if there’s anything part of me would like to change about life is the worrying about money part.

Y – But when you feel that, what you are advocating for is a life without needs, which isn’t life at all. Dead men are the only men without needs. And the most alive man or woman is the man or woman most acutely in touch with their needs. And needs wouldn’t be needs if you didn’t lack something. Needing something is about interacting with an other to get what you have need of. No needs, no interaction, no life. Life is about negotiating what you want and need.

W – Whoa, you’re tweaking me again, Yeshua, which gets into why would I think that giving something less than my deepest and most valuable gifts to the world (ie. others) would be a sane way to go? I mean that’s what we’ve been trained to do.

Y – You’ve been trained in giving the least in hopes of getting the most. But ‘the most’ that you get is always tainted by the scarcity energy you gave out on the giving end. Kind manifests in kind. This is nothing less than learning a new way of life. One day and deal at a time. Asking yourself instead: ‘How can I give more of what I have in order to get what I need?’ is the path into this new life.

W – Thanks, Yeshua, need to pause there again. Need a day at least to digest, feel, and practice.

Y – I need a day to get ready for more too. 🙂 Thanks, Wayne.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 5: Not Withholding What You Have To Give

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

 arms-open

It’s like having ten loaves of really fresh bread on hand when you know you can only consume one. Hoarding them isn’t an option. Giving them away sows the seed of your trust in a providing universe. It’s imperative then to find folks who can use a fresh loaf of bread or two as soon as possible. Hoarding them leaves them to go to waste and serves only to heighten your fears of ever finding a benevolent and caring universe.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua.

Yeshua – Hey, Wayne. Hello, how are you today?

W – I’d say I’m doing pretty well, actually. There’s a bit of morning fog in my field, and I’m sure I’ll be surprised by where we go today.

Y – So you’re hoping that I’m going to help you wake up?

W – Something like that. 🙂 I’m finding these last few days in dialoguing with you and sharing that with others…..doesn’t, on one hand, always feel like the most opportune time, with other stuff calling for my attention or not feeling super inspired like part of me imagined I should feel before I sit down to write. But, on the other hand, it is simply the choice, the heart, and the intention that opens it out for me. Did that make any sense?

Y – Makes a ton of sense to me. Letting your wanter, your heart, and feeling lead over thinking.

W – And I also get something about withholding what we have to give while we wait for a time when it feels better somehow to be giving.

Y – What is it that you get about that?

W – Hmmm, well, I certainly am not advocating for ‘shoulding’ ourselves about what, when, and how we should be giving our gifts. Okay, now the fog is clearing some more. What I felt was that my desire for more – whether it’s for more healing, more love, more resources, more people as in meaningful relationships in my life – is served by giving away some of what I already have. I need an outlet in order to find my inlet.

Y – Well said, Wayne. It’s like having ten loaves of really fresh bread on hand when you know you can only consume one. Hoarding them isn’t an option. Giving them away sows the seed of your trust in a providing universe. It’s imperative then to find folks who can use a fresh loaf of bread or two as soon as possible. Hoarding them leaves them to go to waste and serves only to heighten your fears of ever finding a benevolent and caring universe.

W – I get that. It’s really amazing to feel the freshness and goodness that can come out of my bakery! Part of me is still surprised that it’s actually in there to give, and that I’m not depleted by giving it away, but rather expanded.

Y – What’s the expansion?

W – The whole world, or my whole world recreates itself, gradually for sure…to a world of ‘I can have a lot of fun giving what I have to give and getting what I need in return.’ The fears of going without begin to dissipate. If I do face a deep financial crisis where I’m stuck to afford food or shelter, I hope that I could still be giving what I have to give and trusting in the Divine that I am being held and loved and cared for. I can go through anything with that kind of love it feels like.

Y – We are so talking about currency right now, you know.

W – I so get that.

Y – Amazing, huh?

W – Totally. 🙂

Y – Love is the real currency. Fear is also a real currency. Money is only and ever a reflection of that.

W – Whoa, now you’re going deep on me, Yesh.

Y – Time to wake up, man, we’ve got shit to do.

W – I’m on it. Jillian just handed me some food.

Y – Withholding what you have to give because you fear going without ‘currents’ fear and scarcity. It shapes the world inside of you and outside of you in scarcity.

W – Which really hurts.

Y – Big time hurts. Fear is a contraction of the heart. Whether or not the world is a loving place isn’t even a question, as the closed heart sees and feels only the option of scarcity and pain.

W – I feel some brilliance coming on…just needed to warn you.

Y – Give ‘er.

W – The money system we created where money is hoarded like bread or tomatoes yet doesn’t go stale, but instead increases in value through earned interest in a bank account, was an attempt to baptize our collective fear into a love creation.

Y – When the truth is actually the opposite: the larger their bank account, the farther removed most people get from feeling themselves being held in a loving and providing universe. They were designed to feel loved and held, to not be in worry and scarcity.

W – For the most of us, when we imagine feeling loved and held, having a big whack of money is the deal.

Y – Again, the truth is actually the opposite. Having and hoarding a big whack of money is what insulates people in their fear and scarcity and cuts them off from knowing and feeling love. It’s no different than you sitting on a relationality gold mine with yourself, Jillian and a few others, and the divine and thinking you can keep that alive and to yourself. It doesn’t work that way. It dies that way actually. You have to trade in the currency that you desire more of. Currency isn’t currency until it flows.

W – And our current money system is hitting a wall inside of itself. It’s always said that consumer confidence is what makes the economy be in good shape, but when the system is crafted in fear and scarcity and relies on ‘confidence’ to make it all go, that’s by definition insanity.

Y – …told you we had shit to do.

W – I was just imagining myself with those 9 extra loaves and a desire to find folks who could use them. I wouldn’t get picky of course; I’d just go out and find the first folks I could that would be happy to have them.

Y – All you would need to make that happen is their trust in you and their need.

W – Say more.

Y – They would need to trust that you didn’t have any ulterior motives, that you simply didn’t want to see your extra loaves go to waste, and that you would find joy and relief in seeing them go to someone. And of course they would also need to be able to use the bread. Trust and need makes the currency flow.

W – So then, If I have an abundance of trust and need, then what?

Y – You tell me…

W – I really don’t know in the moment, but I suspect that I would be much closer to having true wealth, that my fear of poverty is based in an actual poverty inside of myself. Somehow, when I am out of touch with my truster and needer, I am out of touch with myself and others. I am truly isolated and unknown, even if I hold a big bank account.

Y – And isolated and unknown is having no currency. Having no currency is death.

W – Whoa, this is a lot to track, Yeshua. It opens a ton of questions.

Y – And it sticks dynamite under the inherent falseness in the current money system. Money as you currently know it is in flow too. It’s flowing though a huge crucible. It’s going through a huge death and rebirth as we speak. It’s a timing that cannot be stopped. Humanity has simply earned and learned its way here.

W – I feel that, Yeshua. Actually, most days, I check the news in the morning and am a bit surprised to see that it hasn’t fallen apart while I was sleeping, and a bit grateful too as it affords me more time to adjust and live into the change. I’m still quite attached to the groceries my money can buy.

Y – This is like a great fuel conversion of your being from running on fear and scarcity to running on trust, need and love. All the interior work you do inside yourself is what you enables you to live out the external changes, with grounded heart and creativity, and even adventure. If life is anything, it is meant to be adventure. The advent of something new. Not even your current money systems could hold this back, though they tried.

W – I’m awake now.

Y – Me too.

W – What now?

Y – Go live your life, Man. Live it from the heart. Go stir up some real trust and need.

W – Thank you, Yeshua. I feel how I need life today to take this in.

Y – Life is the currency and the flow. Life is meant to only and always bring you more of you, more love, more abundance.

W – You’re hot stuff, man.

Y – Me? I better put the fire department on alert about you?

W – Hey, that’s my line.

Y – I know, I like it.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversation with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.