It stood before me as a defining moment. From the vantage point I was at, the path before me to the top of what is called Angel’s Landing in Zion National Park seemed a bit daunting. That was how my mind was interpreting it anyway. There seemed to be some pretty tricky places to navigate and for a few moments I wondered if it would be worth it to continue. If I became too immobilized by fear I didn’t want to risk going back with my tail between my legs. There was an internal dialogue going inside me that felt a lot of doubt and lack of courage. Something that had really prevented me from experiencing life in its fullest flavor and education. I was on this trip to feel more into me and what it was that inspired me.
At the time, Zion represented what its name implies. A holy place. Its literal translation apparently is ‘marked’ or ‘distinctive’. I was searching for `I` through an externalized experience. This is how it is in 3D. We begin this journey back to ourselves through the physical landscape. Through the trial and error of our choices and responses. What a part of me was searching for was an internal verification that it was powerful, free, and alive. I was looking for my own Zion within.
It was as if the hike I was taking was along the trail of my heart. It started out fairly easily, and then began to become more stimulating and much harder at the same time. With each progress up the view became more impeccable. There was a part that challenged all my physical weaknesses as a steep and traversing section seemed to want to chide me for even starting. It seemed so repetitive and difficult, yet the result was more spectacular. But it was far from over.
Sometimes we make these incredible changes in our lives and there are parts that feel good with the vista that they have landed on. Yet there is still that continuing voice and desire to keep pressing on because you didn’t come here to watch others make the journey. You realized you were guided here for a purpose. You are actually inspiring those who are still staring at the hike to make that first step, just as those ‘ahead’ of you are inspiring you to make your next step.
Before I even began the hike, I saw myself at the top. Looking out into the majesty of what Gaia had created in her infinite bosom. It was a mission and a destiny that represented so much more than climbing a rock. It was a reconfiguring and reshaping of all that I had wired up inside of me. I could not afford to not meet myself at the top. I was already there.
The moments after that midway point were some of the most exhilarating of my life. So much energy passed through me. Climbing chains, rock walls, and narrow foot ways became a part of my consciousness. The path and I were one. Breathing and experiencing each other as if I had already done this a thousand times before. I remember hearing one person behind me say, “That guy is like a mountain goat!”. It validated what was happening inside me. I was just being me in bliss and in joy, even when I had no idea what was around the corner. It didn’t matter. I was already there.
As I crested the top and found myself on Her glorious plateau, the view of the canyon sang to me. It did not disappoint. It only amplified what I felt inside me. This is what I came here to experience and be. This particular moment set in motion a series of events that would lead me to reenact this journey from the other direction. Going into my inner emotional geography and find my Angel’s Landing. My inner Zion. The gateway to the Golden Earth within us all.
In the moment I can see myself there as I did the physical location all those years ago. Feeling free, spreading wings, and shining light. Yet I am still on the path. Walking up the challenging spots, feeling the fear places and healing them into the next step. This is the path of parts work. The inner journey that leads to our greatest expression and brightest light…the place where you already ARE.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
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