By Raphael Awen
What would it take for you to come out and play again?
I know deep down, you really want to. But something has you to itself right now.
Is it a sadness that the joys you once had so much fun with are gone now?… And you don’t know how you could ever have that much fun again?
Or is it that you can’t see who would want to be with you and have your kind of fun?
I’m not trying to figure you out. You’re way too big of a being to be figured out. I just want you to come out to play again when you are ready to.
I do feel something for you, if you’d let me share it with you?
I can feel that life as you once knew it changed somehow, and you knew some really cool joys in that old life, but that life dried up and went away. You found something really, really cool, and now it’s gone. Now, you’re sad, and that’s okay.
I think I know something else too that I’d like to share with you if you’d let me. And that is that when people lose things like you lost, they don’t actually let themselves feel what they lost and how sad they actually are. They keep their tears inside. I did that for a long time. It’s like we don’t arrange and attend the funeral. I think I know something too about why we tend to do that, that it is about how we are afraid the tears will swallow us somehow, and we will be no more.
If that’s true, then it means people do actually want to come out and play again, I mean, if they are afraid of being no more, right? Because being no more, would mean never to ever play again.
What if life is trying to bring you your next kind of play that really is your kind of funnest fun, but you aren’t sure you are ready to risk losing again?,…because you haven’t seen how losing isn’t as sad as it seems, if you let yourself be sad, then the sadness moves, and you get to come out and play again…
You didn’t have to find the play that you once loved so much. It found you, and fun is trying to find you again.
I think that’s just the way it is. People are afraid to be sad because they aren’t sure they are ready just yet for their next fun, their next play.
It’s okay if you don’t think so. That’s just the way I do. I can be sad with you, if you’d like me to…., to feel what you lost and then maybe we can share tears together, which is one kind of play I like to have whenever I need to.
I’ve lost lots of things, but I always find that new things are wanting and ready to come in.
(From the beloved younger part of me called Marvin)
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Pics below are from Jelelle and I’s recent trip to Nazaré on Portugal’s silver coast.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.
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