The Vulnerability Of The Masculine Relating To The Feminine

by Raphael Awen

The masculine in its ability and desire to provide is a great thing in and of itself, which we all have inside of ourselves regardless of gender.

Where the masculine gets into conflict is when it needs to find, maintain and suppress a dependent feminine in order to keep his gig working. Eventually this comes to a demise and both the masculine and the feminine are afforded an opportunity to restructure – vulnerably admit their fears, needs and desires to find a new way, or at least a completion of the old to eventually allow a new way to arise.
The masculine has a particular challenge in that it was born of a feminine womb and yoni from which it wants and needs to separate, to define itself, to be different enough to create attraction in order to be afforded a partaking of that exquisite feminine while it is trying at the same time to differentiate itself from and pretend to not need.

The more the masculine leads in the world with his power, attainments and capabilities, the more he is trying and still needing/seeking feminine love, as it is only the feminine than can give all that power and attainment meaning, yet he is not quite ready, or sufficiently aware to transparently and open heartedly admit the true nature of that need.

This dynamic takes a quantum leap forward when the masculine is ready to feel, ready to vulnerably admit need and desire to himself, his innerverse, his inner feminine, and then energetically and emotionally to the feminine in his outerverse, his universe – yoniverse.

When you get that sorted a bit, all lovemaking and love getting strategies take care of themselves, effortlessly as you have it aced inside, which is a very cool feeling for the masculine – doing something really stunningly well!

***

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Your Discernment, Truth, & Sovereignty: A Poem

by Kasha Rokshana

Choose the rational and careful path
if you wish.
Yet vulnerability isn’t packaged
or planned
And your realness
can’t be smudged out
By an eraser made of sage.

Grease those wheels of thought
if you desire
Yet discernment
is of the heart
and not up to the mind.

Download others’ truths and read-outs
if you will
Yet remember that all remembering
of who you truly are
is yours and only yours
and the claiming of that authority
by another
is only ever authorized
by your discernment
and reclaimed,
integrated by you
through the vulnerable feeling
of your own sovereign heart.

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about FREE consultation calls, space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

The Challenge To Feel (VIDEO): Conversations With Men

“Feeling is really hard! It is really challenging!”

These were words I spoke in the third video of the Conversations With Men series with Raphael Awen. In it we talk about the challenges for many of us, especially men, to get down to deep and vulnerable feeling. To actually feel our feelings.

Raphael mentions in the beginning that we are all emotive beings in constant feeling. The question is are we really feeling the feelings and being honest and vulnerable with them? What is feeling as opposed to reactions and/or states of being?

As boys (and girls, too!) we are conditioned to suppress our more sensitive emotions, our true heart reality. This suppression tends to result in anger or depression (numbness), or both! Rage becomes an emotion that is normalized in men rather than hurt.

The inner boy’s feelings are not welcome and sequestered to the shadow where hurt foments into rage. A protection forms that pushes away or shuts down in a myriad of ways. For the more spiritually inclined man, the activation of the upper chakras in cahoots with the lower chakras can create a bypassing of the most human heart chakra.

This may form as an abusive teacher/healer/mate. A narcissism is formed as a protection against feeling the pain of the inner boy’s trauma. There may be a self-destructive path that leads to addictions, self/other-harm, or possible suicide (one of the leading causes of death among younger men).

If we could create an environment where it is safe for men to feel what they are feeling as they are feeling it, with the ability to process those feelings as parts of themselves rather than being fused to them, I believe we would see a new calvary of men that have the wear-with-all to co-create a new world with the feminine in sacred collaboration.

A tall order? Maybe. A deep desire and need? Yes. I feel the challenges, I am challenged, yet with the support of like-hearted men and women in community, I am finding my way. I believe that other men too could find their way when the desire to truly heal the heart becomes the single most important thing they feel they can offer the world.

Please check out our video for more conversation and please share with other men that you feel would be interested in this mission of deep soul and heart transformation. Comments and questions are deeply invited.

Thank you for being on this journey with us. 🙂

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Sacred Wound Of Intimacy And Vulnerability

Intimacy and vulnerability are the benchmarks of our sacred humanity. Without them we are avoiding our whole being, shadow and light alike. These are by far the most difficult parts of the healing process in my personal experience. Parts of us feel more comfortable on their own, with animals, or connecting to the stars than they do with other human beings. Given our vast soul stories, it is easy to understand why.

Authentic and conscious feeling is something that we have been conditioned and protected from doing. In feeling and owning what is real, there is a fear of being seen, of losing everything we have built up around us, or of getting swallowed up in the pain, and maybe even ecstacy! Being vulnerable is bringing to the surface that which is uncomfortable and/or sensitive.

At the core of this fear is a sacred wound that many of us are being drawn to heal. At the soul, or Higher Self level, we may find ourselves drawing situations that are meant to bring us to the precipice of this wound for in order to truly grown and evolve we are meant to face these wounds/fears once and for all. For me this is what has brought me into deep community with SoulFullHeart.

As I have moved back into closer proximity and soon heading off to Glastonbury with everyone, I am reminded that this is not just spiritual tourism. It is an opportunity to heal my intimacy wound as well as the Metasoul lives that are still in play in the 4D geography of the UK. What other lifetimes exist within me that struggle with intimacy? Being ‘on location’ brings me closer, more intimate, with these lifetimes and Metasoul brothers and sisters.

This becomes a prime example of how each moment is a portal into our sacred humanity if we chose it to be. We have access to so much inside of us yet we chose to acknowledge just a thin slice. Again, for very good reason. The true courage is not in the solving or the fighting, but in the feeling. The human heart is the first and final frontier. It is the doorway to our soul. The thing is, it has been through a lot of shit. A lot of fucked up experiences. It may still be. Yet, its healing IS our salvation, not the ignorance of it.

*****

Over the next two weeks in the last of the Free To Be 5D group call series, we will be addressing the Sacred Wound. The very thing that brings us around and around until we gain the courage and will to finally meet it where it is at. If this resonates with you, I encourage you to join us by offering a donation at soulfullheart.org/shop to get the link to the call if you have not done so already. I also offer a free 45 minute consultation call to see how and if the SoulFullHeart process is right for you to support you in this sacred wound exploration and healing. You can go to soulfullheart.org/sessions for more information.

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Welcoming Everything In Closer, Sacred Union Within

By Deya Shekinah

This past month has been a deep dive with my Inner Teenager, Yasmin. We have been digesting so much together and navigating many timelines collapsing and arising. 

It has been a very tender time of feeling the reality of her experiences in this life, especially how she has been in relationship with others. Yasmin has always been such an open book, I have felt in this time of less sharing how her openness hasn’t always come from a place of self love. I’ve been feeling how she has shared such deeply intimate details of her life with others, with anyone really, because she so deeply longed to be felt, seen and heard… something she didn’t receive much of.

As we digested together, I have been writing but when it has come to sharing publicly, I am becoming more sensitive to her vulnerability. I am learning that instead of sharing, I can let her land more inside of me, letting her feelings be felt and validated by me, by Jelelle Awen and by those closest to me, who I feel safe with. Rather than trying to understand, I am learning to listen. To listen to her stories, the ones she has buried deep down and disconnected from. Feeling all the things she could not feel in other times of her life because she wasn’t safe to.

I am realizing all she has ever truly wanted was to be welcomed in all that she is and all that she feels, rather than only being desired, wanted or welcomed in certain energies of who she is. Her tears were so close this morning. I feel how other parts of me have learnt to try to fix her or push aspects of her emotional reality away. I feel how she also experienced this in all of her relationships to varying degrees.

As I moved and danced, I welcomed all of her in closer than ever before, all her tears, all her longing. She felt unsure at first, as tears have always been hard for her to feel without someone else holding space. As her tears were always hidden and not welcomed, it has taken me a long time to realize that they can be. As I grow through this process as a space holder, I am able to offer her a new narrative around tears and sadness, as I see more and  more how her longings and tears are the doorway to our desires for life.

She cried. She let go into me, resting more into the pain in her heart. It felt beautiful. It feels like the beginning of a new relationship, except this one is just with me. I want all of her because I know how much she has held alone, how much wisdom she holds because of that. I feel how deeply she loves when she is welcomed in all of who she is, and how the pain of not being welcomed has broken her heart open to life.

I sense some deeper layers of heartbreak arising, feeling the pain of relationships that didn’t work out and the times it has felt to her that people wanted her but only certain parts of her. The feeling of not being wanted in her fullness touches these tender tears. There is a growing sense of gratitude to those people who weren’t ready for all of her. I am a stronger woman because of it, who feels love for and loved by every aspect that makes up this expression of me. I no longer have to be more than or less than. I can be me, this beautiful bliss mess embodied as a woman. Trusting that as I love myself and see myself more and more, I will attract others who can only show up for the same.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

On Masculine Vulnerability…

By Raphael Awen

I thought to ruminate out loud about what we might call the reticent masculine, where the masculine (both in men and women) is absent from settings where vulnerability is called for (like the whole global situation right now for instance, or a romance for that matter, or emotional/spiritual community). 

Based on my own experience, I’d say that men are typically busy trying to be powerful, drawn to providing, drawn to making themselves needed, and then asking the feminine (both inside of themselves and outside) to settle for that equation.

If their mate asks for more feeling, or for more heart open presence, he will point to what he so willingly and caringly does provide, and maybe even go on to whine about how she doesn’t see and appreciate that. He leads with defense, covering an unconscious ‘I can’t go there, for fear that I’ll lose myself.’

But I see all of that in the process of change. Men are becoming done with defending these old burdensome ‘paternalistic’ ‘patriarchal’ ‘patterns’ that are turning out to be so much less than what they promised they would provide for us. It’s an idea whose time is done. 

I get the masculine is meant to feel empowered and full of worth. That’s obvious, or we wouldn’t have been so prey to the false promises of power, nor would we have been so vulnerable to pornography (a safe kind of shallow feminine presence that doesn’t ask for any vulnerability – she bares everything and I give nothing, in turn actually leaving me with nothing in terms of actual nourishment)

This need for empowerment has been seen in the various men’s movements that have made a showing in recent decades, where you attend a men’s large group weekend event, give up your familiar patterns and get real with the guys, move some big energy blocks to realness, and commit to getting together on a regular basis in small groups to support this new breakthrough. From what I’ve observed, all of the groups that fit this pattern have this big push away to the feminine, in many cases even outright toxic and abusive, making ‘them’ the problem. When boys become independent men, they do need to find their healthy push away to mom, for a time, especially if Mom was overly invested and invasive to their energetic and emotional masculine space. This healthy need and boundary setting however gets way over projected onto women in general, leaving women wondering what (in the hell) just got into their mate.

I believe all of this has to do with men and the masculine (again in both men and women) exploring the key issue of autonomy and sovereignty. Vulnerability is seen as a threat to their seat of personal power because the last time they were open hearted (vulnerable), they got invaded and taken advantage of, leaving them with the felt reality of powerlessness, that vulnerability equals weakness. The masculine then went off on a long and necessary journey to reconcile itself to itself and to the feminine, especially around this vital need and fear of vulnerability. 

Vulnerability is defined as the willingness to be hurt. Only a man or masculine in possession of some degree of power would possess such a willingness. Romantic relationships, in the dance of the masculine and feminine, without vulnerability are stuck in a very narrow bandwidth, doomed to medicating each other’s pain and estrangement from themselves and others. 

This whole journey may well be reaching its conclusion in our collective. Men are honestly and vulnerably admitting their discontent with the previously seen safe patterns. They’re willing even to admit their unhappiness even before they know much of any alternative. 

Men and the masculine are becoming more and more willing to divest of their investment into the 3D playground structures where they’ve felt some autonomy and power, by obeying the shared playground rules. They’re like, ‘How is this autonomy real if it’s been handed to me on a plate?’ and ‘Why am I playing someone else’s game for a sense of power when no one’s forcing me to play?’

Then that brings us to the yet present noticeable absence of men in more emoto/spiritual settings and communities (like the one I’m a part of). I believe men are understandably asking the sovereignty question that goes something like this: ‘How will surrendering myself to a group and the paradigm of that group be an expression of my power? How will it not be a repeat of the forfeiting of my power that I really need to be done with?’ 

I believe (and this is where it gets possibly interesting and exciting), is that a man (and the masculine in women) can only answer that question of surrender and vulnerability when he or she is in possession of sufficient power. 

In other words:  

‘I’m willing to risk and even to be hurt in connecting with you, because I know it will be to my benefit, rather than my detriment.’ 

‘I can stand to lose, because I know and feel like I’m a winner at heart.’ 

‘I can invest my power and remain in possession of it at the same time – (true contribution)’ 

‘I can hold my own ground. I can enter and I can leave’ 

Men and the masculine then come to realize that they can’t grow into their power or have a playground for their power to play out into, without vulnerable relationship, without shared values, without community. They are not dependent on any one community, AND they can admit their need for one community, both. 

Our retraction from vulnerability (our wounding) occurred in relationship and so does our healing also occur in community. You can’t completely heal or grow in a box away from community. Our need for fulfillment invites us back into community after the necessary going solo phase has completed its course. 

Man, there’s a whole universe waiting for you to show up into, there’s a sacred and quite ready feminine patiently waiting for your crossing the space and invitation onto the dance floor. You can find it first inside of you and then let it flow outside of you. You got some hot stuff waiting and wanting to ‘man’ifest! 

Raphael Awen

SoulFullHeart.org/sessions

Please do consider if you haven’t already joining Jelelle and I for tomorrow’s group call on relationships – a really great place to explore your masculine manifestation! Details here: SoulFullHeart.org/freetobe

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@impossible_monster

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our Patreon Page to send love in the form of money: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart 🙂

Lion’s Gate Portal Gathering Momentum For NEW Timeline Activations

By Kalayna Solais

Here I am, at the beginning of one of my busiest weeks in a long, long time.

Yesterday was a digestion of that and anticipation of it too… mingled with more layers of grief and letting go as Gabriel moved on to his new place yesterday after two months of processing through our separation. There is definitely a bittersweetness in the air and in my heart and soul and parts too as I continue to move on from what was to embrace what’s here and what’s emerging this week especially as it’s all NEW timeline and a lot to let in.

This busyness I’m speaking of seems to be not just a busyness on the outside but I feel it too in my soul and heart.

I feel parts of me moving and shaking, quaking a bit at all that there is to show up for in service this week while my soul is SO excited by the evidence of everything I’ve been moving through that is bringing in the opportunities to serve.

There’s a feeling too that my Metasoul Aspects who I call my “sisters” (haven’t met any “brothers” yet, but I’m open to that!) are readying themselves to help out too. Together we are working to get the inner spaces spruced up for the arrival of the new… new souls to serve and hold, new hearts to connect with, even an additional 3D job experience to dive into and see even WHY I’m drawn to it and it has drawn me.

There’s SO much to trust in this ongoing momentum. I feel that not only for me but for the collective too. I feel it for every one of you reading this as you’re likely experiencing something of this in your own way… some momentum brought in by this Lion’s Gate Portal that is shaking things up inside, which can be uncomfortable at times yet it’s all good and there are ways to be with your parts as they feel their reactions to letting in the NEW and letting go of what once was.

You are a beacon lighting UP. You will be finding it more and more difficult to ‘hide’ who you are. Parts of you that are afraid of that, especially your Inner Protector who has worked so diligently to keep your soul purpose and/or parts of you hidden, could be especially up and activated right now. The world needs you even as you continue your healing inside, for it’s your vulnerability and realness that sometimes serves more powerfully than any attainment.

Here is a guided meditation to help you connect with your Inner Protector:

Much love! ❤

~

The photo is of my new altar I’ve just set up! Bringing in and honouring this new wave of service and the support I feel from the Divine as I continue to step into it.

If you’re feeling the desire for a session, my beloveds and I would love to serve you in your explorations of your own NEW timeline possibilities and the continual letting go of the old… soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Vulnerability In Relationship

By Raianna Shai

I wrote this poem after having just the right day to open up my heart. Whenever this happens every space inside of me that feels like a void fills up with gratitude and appreciation of my environment and the people around me. I was reminded of why I tend to feel guarded around others and how good it feels to be intimate in relationship.

I am very good at being alone. I have always been independent and able to entertain myself quite easily. I thought recently that I would be happier and more opened out living on my own. But the fact that living with others is harder and scarier means it’s probably what I’m meant to be working.

I was feeling how it’s so easy to feel misunderstood or judged by others when you have that living inside of yourself. Whenever my insecurity was high, I found that it was harder to let others in and be vulnerable. I also remembered how much I love physical touch and how important it is to increase the intimacy in relationships. A lingering hug here, a friendly cuddle there. I always saved this for when I was in a romantic relationship because that’s where it felt safe and accepted.

But telling someone what they mean to you and showing physical affection are two things that are bound to be scary. It means you are seeing the other and therefore “risk” being seen yourself. This can bring up a lot of fear if a sense of lack or unworthiness lives inside of you.

I have a big desire to go to the next place in all of my relationships in order to work this push pull inside of me when it comes to intimacy. This poem illustrates the feeling I had of that!

~~~

In the moments that my heart splits open
Gratitude fills every atom of my soul
My body sways with tenderness and care
I want to wrap my arms around every lonely heart
Connecting to oneness and collective love

My fingers trace the edges of my frame
It runs along every crack
Every bump
Every inconsistency
It fills my emptiness with loving energy
It brings out the softness underneath the surface

Soft vulnerability is hard to show
The sweet caress of your own beauty
Uniquely separate from those around you
Yet intertwined in insecurity and fear

I feel overwhelmed by the thought of my loved ones
The way they move through life
The way they see and care for me
When I can’t see myself

You are so brave, dear one
To be a bright green growth
In a grey sidewalk crack
Constantly fearing the underside of passing steps
The shadow side of humanity

I see you, I feel you
I want you, I need you
I feel scared to tell you
That I admire you
And hope you admire me too

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Deep Human Fear Of Intimacy

by Kalayna Solais

One of the deepest fears of humanity seems to be intimacy. Relationships that deepen. These relationships are not just romantic either, though that is one of the most challenging grounds in which to work this fear. This also includes beloved friends, colleagues, the Divine… and yourself.

How intimate are you with yourself or parts of you? How intimate do you feel you are with the Divine and with others around you?

3D conditioning has created a block, a defense against intimacy. It reminds our soul too much of Oneness and our decision to separate in order to experience life here and learn through it, grow because of it, and rejoin into Oneness when it’s time to do so. It brings us back to the love we once trusted that somehow 3D life has taught us either doesn’t exist or it takes too much work to earn it.

To be intimate, starting with ourselves, is our birthright and the journey we came here to inhabit. It is the wellspring of Self Love which overflows the love that then is shared with others.

To be intimate also means being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is also scary for parts of you because of your conditioning that it somehow isn’t ok to not be ok.

And… to be vulnerable means to make space to feel and share love. It doesn’t just mean sharing your pain, it means sharing your tears of joy too, your celebration of others and yourself, your gratitude for the Divine and Its ever-loving support.

To be truly intimate with Self and others really offers us all a deepening journey of feeling every line of defense within and every case made by parts of us to keep guarding those defenses and keep them in place. To actually go inward and feel the fears is the deepest gift to offer these parts as they trust your space-holding more. They and you begin to feel naked to your own truths and bake in these opportunities for rebirth.

To begin to open your heart again after all you’ve walked out in THIS life let alone other lives, is no small feat and uncovers no small fears along the way. Yet with every tear of pain or joy or relief or anguish undoes the lock to another layer of who you’ve been and had to be until now and who parts of you have had to become in order to preserve the precious depths within you and within themselves too.

It is a deep passion of mine and my beloveds to support your unlocking and unfolding of all of these pieces… sessions with any of us are available for you and we would love to serve you:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions ❤️

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

New Personal Service-Of-Love Activations & Embodiment

by Kalayna Solais

Co-led a meditation circle with my beloved mate, Gabriel Solais, last night as our second one that we’ve led in person EVER! ❤️🌞

This is new territory and expression of service for us and it was deeply satisfying. Even if the majority of the people who came do not start having individual sessions (though we would so love to connect with them individually in this powerful way!) we feel like love was served, received, and nourishingly given back to us too.

Plenty of personal process came up for me before leading this too, and it all felt worth it to serve deeper.

About an hour beforehand, I was in deep tears. Made sense that even though I had ALL day to feel through any tensions about serving last night, it couldn’t really crest and break until the heat was on and it was time to really prepare to show up in my personal soul and heart bigness.

The tears were so deep that I could barely breathe for a moment and had to just sit on the floor of my closet sobbing with parts of me that felt unworthy of offering this service and Metasoul aspects that have experienced persecution for offering their gifts. I recovered fairly quickly though, feeling how it was all the Divine love and support flooding into my being that allowed me to feel this, to flush it out and help me get ready to expand and hold the heart cord needed for each person coming to us.

I feel so many gifts came out of the overall experience, from preparation to completion, for us and for those who came. We felt so many layers with each of them, all unique to their experiences of life and spirituality too. Some had deep openings they wanted to share after the meditation and some didn’t, yet it was all GOOD and alive.

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Gabriel and I will be offering more in-person groups like this one in the coming months. If you’re ever in the Victoria, BC area and are interested in joining us, you can tune into our Facebook page: SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, or sign-up for our weekly Museletter on our website: soulfullheartwayoflife.com to get all the latest updates and announcements on these and more events!

Many NEW offerings from all of us at SoulFullHeart are coming your way… I will talk some more about that as it all unfolds! In the meantime, you can always visit our website for more info! 😊

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.