Incoming July Energies Support Change Choices & Integration

by Kalayna Colibri

It doesn’t feel like we’re in a phase of much being activated at the moment, though it depends very much on the phase that you find yourself in. If you’ve recently been navigating some significant life changes, you may find that you’re actually in a phase of integrating them… and if you’re trying to figure out your next step at the moment, or taking some sort of action in order to exit one phase and enter another, you may find that you’re being asked to find some stillness amid challenges that are springing up. It feels like whatever side of “change” you’re on right now, whether in the INcubation or INtegration phase of it, you may be feeling the birth canal of the rebirth these energies coming in are inviting you into. And what’s more is that these changes are a direct result of your awakening journey so far… they are all a graduation point, even the difficult ones, and they all want to lead you to your next places on your journey.

You may be starting to realize that parts of you have been over-focused on ‘making change happen’ in one particular area of your life, whether it’s trying to lose some physical weight, moving to a new home, looking for work, or completing/beginning a relationship. This over-focus feels two-fold to me: first, I feel there is an invitation here to feel how the work to ‘make something happen’ is a part trying to force something that perhaps has its own timing and probably out of a fear of missing out on an opportunity or to bring someone or something closer to you in your life for fear of losing them, or losing your next chance, whatever that may mean; and second, I feel too the invitation to begin seeing the bigger picture of the changes, that they connect to all areas of your life and not just one. It’s like trying to work out by only targeting one muscle group when really it’s your whole body that needs your attention and love. Plus, compartmentalizing is probably losing its ground for you in general, so the focus on only one thing/area or even person in your life is something you won’t actually be able to maintain for long as it all wants and needs to connect and integrate together.

It feels like July is a ‘hot’ month for bringing in and settling into changes too. I get a ‘coming and going’ sort of feeling around it. You may be experiencing a push-pull inside of you around change too, as parts of you want it and others don’t, and this polarization becomes harder and harder to ignore. You can choose to feel the parts and the ways in which they’re attached to what you’re taking steps to let go of and the ways they feel about what/who you’re trying to let in too. Your Inner Protector especially will have opinions and observations to offer, as will other parts of you.

As always with the incoming energy waves, there’s much to feel and awaken to within. You’re always invited to find expanded consciousness and a brighter view of the bigger picture of Ascension, the Cosmos, etc, yet this expanded consciousness landing within you is the one that truly lights up your path, your action steps, your stillness needs, and the parts that need your love as you choose, inhabit, and integrate the changes you most need in this Now. The Divine Mother/Feminine and Her many different expressions are here to be with you and hold space with you too as you explore all of these elements of your being… I feel Her honouring all of your choice points and everything you’re feeling or even ‘not’ feeling along the way, while also encouraging you to keep going, flowing, finding ways to BE with all of the challenges and desires, both.

Love to you as you feel all there is to feel on this next stratum of your ever-deepening healing and ever-increasing desire for everything you’ve ever wanted to have or happen in your life. ❤


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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at


Eighteen Months In (Raphael’s Version): Life At SoulFullHeart Sanctuary


By Raphael Awen

As my wife, Jelayan said in her blog yesterday of the same title, it has been 18 months living here in a remote sanctuary. Four of us along with three dogs and a bag of cash set out in two vehicles packed with everything we owned, to leave Canada, drive south through the United States to find sanctuary in Mexico.

The decision to leave behind home, country and career was strangely both difficult and easy.

It was difficult in that I was choosing to let go of the security of a 30-year long career as a painting contractor that had gotten easy and comfortable over time. In our last 2 years in Canada, we had relocated from busy Vancouver to the quiet of a ferry access only community on the Sunshine Coast. We had simplified life considerably, went through personal bankruptcy as part of that, and at every juncture, asked ourselves ‘What are we doing and why?’

What made the decision easy was the conviction that my calling in life was not to maintain a standard of living, and then see if there was any leftover time, money or energy to pursue what really mattered to me. I knew, with ever increasing awareness, that to hang on to a career whose time was winding down, even though it was more rewarding than it ever had been in many ways, was to miss a window of purpose and calling.

Jelayan and I had been intensely together for the past six years before we left Canada. Our love and connection seemed to burn up setting after setting in our life together. Just putting in time in some collectively idealized lifestyle of ‘getting ahead’ we both knew would be the end of us. Every spirituality or healing modality we checked into did not draw us. The one we were offering in Canada wasn’t drawing people’s attention beyond a very select few. Life was calling us and asking us to take a big step into the unknown. My attention had been given also to a growing awareness of the unfolding collapse of industrial civilization. Expecting life to continue as it had I knew to be a child’s demand.

We ended up here at what we named Soulfullheart Sanctuary, a place to ‘be’ what we are about and offer to others who feel drawn to what we offer. The external changes were rapid fire. Living without an income meant that every purchase had a feeling to digest connected to our dwindling nest egg. We began by living in tents out of suitcases and plastic tubs. The tent zippers and poles soon gave out and keeping up with some sort of jerry rigged repair regimen soon fell apart. A feeling of powerlessness came up often related to not being able to just haul off and buy new stuff, or go out and get the tools and materials to perform a skookum repair. Our two wheel drive vehicles had to be parked on the other side of a river a kilometer from home. That meant doing more things on foot, like carrying groceries and hauling dirt. Our single panel solar system was a god-send, but was soon tested by lightning and our 2000 watt inverter had to be replaced with our 250 watt standby. Holes in shoes and shirts, and straps falling off sandals were and are a daily part of the commentary here. I’ve never seen what a pair of shoes could come to look like if I simply kept wearing them.

The nest egg of money pooled together has since run out, and we have found new ways to draw modest income, after learning to live on less than 10 percent of what we used to. I was shocked after a year in doing some budget arithmetic to learn that the four of us were living off less than what I used to spend on a daily trip to Starbucks habit.

The transformation of lifestyle change is almost too difficult to describe to someone deeply embedded in a western culture and lifestyle. I couldn’t have imagined how this would have looked and felt before choosing it. I knew we would survive. I knew life would help us find a way. I knew that I needed to choose a lifestyle that was about giving back to life the deepest gifts I had to give and that only then could I ask life to support me and help me live into the transformation that would follow. I didn’t know what it would come to look like.

As Jelayan wrote, the experience of rarely hearing a sound of industrial noise, being with plants and animals, being with constructing homes from natural materials (our first cob structure has all of 100 dollars invested) has expanded us to feeling and tracking inner guidance and reflection. My personal sense of being a human being continues to expand and grow. My sense of connection with love, with god, with parts of myself, with guides, with nature opens out more and more.

The quiet here and the natural beauty here has also been a challenge to let in and be with. After 50 plus years in cities and towns along with the industrial trappings, one doesn’t let go of that without a reaction. Many could easily project onto the picture of our setting and choice an idealism that doesn’t square with the reality. No, we don’t need an alarm clock; we don’t commute to work. I am in a vehicle for less than a couple hours a week, instead a few hours a day. All of that could look quite appealing to people who are feeling stuck in a dead-end lifestyle. There are deep challenges to come to terms with that come with these changes.

The dead-end lifestyle, as difficult as it is to bear and be with, has for most one thing that makes it nearly impossible to part with. That something is a feeling of predictability and security. It’s not that I no longer have these needs. I am more in touch with those needs than I ever have been. Because I feel my need for feeling provided for and cared for, rather than suppressing it, I have chosen a lifestyle that allows me to feel that for myself. Above all, there is time, space and permission to feel everything.

I have a few feelings bubbling up right now. A big one is gratitude. I actually ‘get’ to do this. I get to be in this adventure. Another feeling is anticipation of things to come. Life never stays the same unless we are employing some big resistance mechanism trying to keep it that way. I get to live into that unknown and that anticipation. Even if that means something fearful like running out of money and facing hunger, (something that hasn’t come up yet) I get to be all of me; I get to experience that from my heart in touch with all of life; I get to experience that and navigate that in deep and profound connection with my mate, with myself, with others and with the divine.

THAT’s hot stuff people!

Raphael Awen is an author and teacher at SoulFullHeart Sanctuary. Visit SoulFullHeart Sanctuary for more information about staying at the Sanctuary and virtual sessions. Please visit our Patreon Page if you’d like to support SoulFullHeart Sanctuary. 

Entering and Leaving: In The Birth Canal

Photo By Wayne Vriend
Photo By Wayne Vriend

By Wayne Vriend

Mike, whose energy reminded me of a slick Amway promoter, was the recently hired Western Canada Regional Manager for a company boasting to be the largest of its kind in Canada. While driving home, I reluctantly picked up his call after having just pulled up stakes mid way through on a paint job for this company. This is something that I had never even thought of doing in my previous 23 years long subcontracting relationship with the company.

Earlier in the day, I had decided and informed the company that I would not complete a big deadline job unless some reasonable payment was made. I also made this decision after hearing that many other subcontractors and even material suppliers were getting paid very late. Due to this, the job was poorly coordinated, running behind, and contained an energy of chaos, anxiety, and disconnect.

“Hi Wayne, it’s Mike. I also have Darren on the line,” he said, in a voice too loud, too smooth, and too enthusiastic for the situation.  “I said to Darren, let’s get Wayne on the line and see if we can clear this up. I think your invoices just have some dates confused in our system and that should take care of things.”

I sighed inwardly at his assumption. “No, Mike, I checked all of our invoices over carefully with your accounting department months ago. They are correct in your system and they do, in fact, go back over 4 months”

Then, he changed his tack. Softening his voice a little, he said, “Wayne, I’m going to see if I can get you all of this money from our treasury department right away. It may take me a few days though. Would you be willing in the meantime, in good faith in our company, to continue so we can get these people moved back into their home?”

It wasn’t so easy to find my words inside of this barrage of tones and words: a promise to go and get my money from the difficult and elusive treasury department; an appeal to my sense of good faith; and care for others: getting the homeowners moved back into their home.

I managed to find my response after fumbling at first around with my words. “No, MIke, I’m not comfortable with that and it just doesn’t feel self loving to do that. It’s been several broken promises.”

The job was going sideways fast anyway. Material suppliers, subcontractors and employees alike waiting on the sidelines for a corporate nation-wide general contracting company and it’s opaque layers of management and hedge fund ownership to find some heart and soul, and actually lead, or actually care.

When the Titanic hit the iceberg a 101 years ago, there were two precious hours of choice and action time before it finally sunk to the bottom of the ocean. The gravitational pull of denial, and buying into the status quo answer of ‘this ship is unsinkable’, were in fact what caused a much greater loss of life. Those who came to their senses early in the first hour made all the difference, for themselves and for others.

We are in such a time. It is evident wherever you look. My story from this week is not unique.

Our grand capitalist systems; our social systems; our religious and spiritual systems: these that are so dear to our false selves and have enjoyed such huge buy ins from so many, for so long; all these have struck an iceberg. These systems, that once felt so much like home, that animated us, are now in slow motion collapse. Make no mistake, as Captain Smith said so plainly in the movie in response to Rose’s inquiry about their fate; ‘The ship will sink.’

It gets real clear, on a sinking ship, once you’ve accepted what moments ago felt unbelievable even to you, that your first responsibility is to save lives, including your own. What are you choosing today? What are you trusting in today? How do you propose to care for anyone else while denying your first responsibility; to truly care for yourself?

The iceberg is not the problem. The poor design is not the problem. It is all a huge and unexpected gift to us, if we can only surrender to the point of the collapse: being prepared by the circumstance itself to enter our next phase of life.

Our most authentic self is mid stream in the birth canal, between the collapsing story and the rise of a new story, waiting to be born. In order for that to happen, we are being invited to leave the false self systems that we once held so dear and enter into an arising birthing process.  We can’t know what our new self will look like, we can only trust that what we were previously invested in is now complete in it’s purpose to bring us to a deeper choice point and truer reflection of who we were meant to be.

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