The Heart Stays Alive, Even Through Heartbreak: A Poem

by Kalayna Solais

Even in solemnity
the heart is alive with possibilities.

Even in darkness
the beacon of light that you are
shines through the cracks.

Even when you’ve bottomed out
new seedlings sprout
from the ground burned by life’s wildfires.

Even when your heart is broken
it still beats its melody of surrender
knowing that it cannot know
how the whole story is going to end…
only how this one chapter has seemed to.

The death of what could be, but isn’t
brings your heart to its knees in an instant
yet this is only for a moment
in the grand picture
of your sacred life’s journey.

~ Art by Julia Watkins ~

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Incoming July Energies Support Change Choices & Integration

by Kalayna Colibri

It doesn’t feel like we’re in a phase of much being activated at the moment, though it depends very much on the phase that you find yourself in. If you’ve recently been navigating some significant life changes, you may find that you’re actually in a phase of integrating them… and if you’re trying to figure out your next step at the moment, or taking some sort of action in order to exit one phase and enter another, you may find that you’re being asked to find some stillness amid challenges that are springing up. It feels like whatever side of “change” you’re on right now, whether in the INcubation or INtegration phase of it, you may be feeling the birth canal of the rebirth these energies coming in are inviting you into. And what’s more is that these changes are a direct result of your awakening journey so far… they are all a graduation point, even the difficult ones, and they all want to lead you to your next places on your journey.

You may be starting to realize that parts of you have been over-focused on ‘making change happen’ in one particular area of your life, whether it’s trying to lose some physical weight, moving to a new home, looking for work, or completing/beginning a relationship. This over-focus feels two-fold to me: first, I feel there is an invitation here to feel how the work to ‘make something happen’ is a part trying to force something that perhaps has its own timing and probably out of a fear of missing out on an opportunity or to bring someone or something closer to you in your life for fear of losing them, or losing your next chance, whatever that may mean; and second, I feel too the invitation to begin seeing the bigger picture of the changes, that they connect to all areas of your life and not just one. It’s like trying to work out by only targeting one muscle group when really it’s your whole body that needs your attention and love. Plus, compartmentalizing is probably losing its ground for you in general, so the focus on only one thing/area or even person in your life is something you won’t actually be able to maintain for long as it all wants and needs to connect and integrate together.

It feels like July is a ‘hot’ month for bringing in and settling into changes too. I get a ‘coming and going’ sort of feeling around it. You may be experiencing a push-pull inside of you around change too, as parts of you want it and others don’t, and this polarization becomes harder and harder to ignore. You can choose to feel the parts and the ways in which they’re attached to what you’re taking steps to let go of and the ways they feel about what/who you’re trying to let in too. Your Inner Protector especially will have opinions and observations to offer, as will other parts of you.

As always with the incoming energy waves, there’s much to feel and awaken to within. You’re always invited to find expanded consciousness and a brighter view of the bigger picture of Ascension, the Cosmos, etc, yet this expanded consciousness landing within you is the one that truly lights up your path, your action steps, your stillness needs, and the parts that need your love as you choose, inhabit, and integrate the changes you most need in this Now. The Divine Mother/Feminine and Her many different expressions are here to be with you and hold space with you too as you explore all of these elements of your being… I feel Her honouring all of your choice points and everything you’re feeling or even ‘not’ feeling along the way, while also encouraging you to keep going, flowing, finding ways to BE with all of the challenges and desires, both.

Love to you as you feel all there is to feel on this next stratum of your ever-deepening healing and ever-increasing desire for everything you’ve ever wanted to have or happen in your life. ❤

~

We are here to serve you should you feel the need/desire for more support on your journey and a very illuminating 90min (for $55 usd min. donation) session to help you find your next steps for your healing and Ascension journey: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Seeing Ourselves In The Ascension Process With Gaia

By Jelelle Awen
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Transitioning to more light body, opening through healing our heart, integrating our 3D self, merging with our multidimensional selves and aspects/higher self as we are ever more sacred human….ascension. Not an attained state, as much as an ongoing, spiraling, and ever deepening process that we are ALL invited to engage with, come along, and join in a consciously collaborative way. We can look to Gaia as an outer reflection of how this ascension process is also happening within us.
Gaia in Her seemingly denser 3D Earth state, so much happening ‘to’ Her, humans damaging Her, against Her, disconnected, abusing Her. Global warming, oil spills, weather changes as a consequence of so much human waste and disregard. Or so it can seem from the overly polarized 3D lens of five sense reality filtering that doesn’t see beyond the physical eyes or feel much beyond reactions and triggers and fixates on what it kNOws rather than trusting what is possible in the kNOW.
Yet, Gaia, moving into 4D consciousness is a sentient, ALIVE, sovereign and conscious energy in the FORM of a planet. She is a Planetary consciousness that is in collaboration with all that happens to Her. As She is realizing this then She can make choices. She can become the all powerful creatoress that She IS, reclaiming Her power. She chooses then to purge, to off gas, to release, to be unpredictable in the form of fiery storms, raging fires, swirling tornadoes, lashing out hurricanes. This is the mess that clears out, that has aftermath and consequences…that can bring death and loss.
Rebirth comes out of these ashes and ruins…for Gaia AND for us. As She claims Her own power back, She offers the same invitation to us. The losses can be devastating OR they can be the beginning of something brand NEW, an opportunity or a defeat. Life is no longer happening to us as our consciousness expands in ascension to 4D and higher. We are happening with life. Gaia cannot be geoengineered without Her consent on a higher level by anyone. Just as we cannot be either. No one is doing anything to Her ‘against her will’ just as nothing can truly be done against ours on the soul level.
The alchemical purgatory of 4D is soul blood returning to numbed out limbs, whether human or planetary. It is ALIVE even as it is messy. We can see ourselves in this too. Parts of our 3D self and their own thrashes and crashes and our inevitable storms. We realize our own power along the way and how it was never really lost to us. Those souls that it seemed abused us and were against us offering often the biggest gifts of growth and learning. We stop pushing against all of this and begin to let Divine forgiveness and compassion into our hearts for ourselves and for them.
I feel this in Gaia when I connect with Her as a planetary consciousness. I feel Her forgiveness of what we have ‘done to Her’ during this 3D experiment as She deepens in trust around the overall process and all its phases and stages. I feel Her compassion for so many souls sense of powerlessness ‘against’ Her. I feel Her deep abiding love for us and, also, Her changing boundaries too as She ascends. I feel Her in the face and forms of Kali, Mother Mary, Divine Feminine Mama. She is offering us a reminder of our previously disowned power that we can now claim again. She is a reflection of our beauty, our gloriousness, our magnificent landscapes. She is inviting us into a NEW alchemy of creation of a NEW Golden Earth consciousness where we are connected to our power even AS we surrender to the Divine and our ultimate purpose of serving love here. We create this state and place, in the now, and going ‘forward’…together.
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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Trusting The Ascension Process, Leaning Into The Divine Feminine

By Jelelle Awen
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Trusting the process, trusting yourself, trusting the curiosity that comes up in response to ALL that you are feeling and starting to see and BE. Trusting the arising into the new that wants to rearrange your life WITH love. Trusting the draws and urges that may turn your previous life UPside down.

Trust the process…….This message comes through clearly today as the intense Lion energies seem to be calming down and settling in just a bit….maybe to allow us a breathing in and an exhaling out again before it picks UP again. Always does a Divine grace orchestration seem to modulate the flow of these catalytic energies so that it is at a rate and pace that we (and parts of us!) can bear. These energies are not meant to ‘blow us out’ or ‘take us down’ even if they tumble us a fair bit or bring up hard things to feel and be with. Especially if you are WITH the Divine in the process and surrendering, then you can experience how nothing is being done to you….yet rather with you and with so much care and love FOR you.

I feel something soft, comforting and feminine always there too. She is more mysterious and elusive and you may need to connect to Her consciously to feel Her. So much focus can be given to the masculine activation of this ascension process….the pushing up and the purging and UPgrading. So much trying to understand and locate what is going on. Yet, too, the feminine HOLDS the space for the process and invites us into not knowing. She is the mother that gestates the baby just in Her BEing of stillness. She is the mother allowing you to form and shape and grow while just loving all that you are and forgiving all that you are still too scared yet to be. She is the reminder that you are enough just as you are in this moment while holding all the potential and capacity of what you could someday become.

The feminine also brings you out of the mind, if parts of you have a tendency to go to the lower vibe frequencies of the mental body that want to kNOw, sort out, analyze, prove it all, track it and locate it. I feel that this mental activity is a block to flowing into feeling and the emotional body and to the intuitions of the higher chakras that allow creativity and ‘unexplainable’ experiences. It can block the emotional body awakening that wants to be felt and allowed. This can be a challenge for men, especially, as so much conditioning supports this mental body filtering. The masculine inside of women (the Inner Protector energies) can revert to this too and question what is coming through or spin out in obsessive thinking loops. There seems to be a connection to the Archon and fear-based Reptilian fusion experiment too where unhooking and unplugging from these frequencies can help with letting go of the mind more. ALL of this exploration of mind needs to be held with much love and not ‘against’ the mind energy as that is what allows it (and the parts that use it) to let go.

Trusting the process……..this is leaning into the BIG picture and context of ascension as a collective experience, connected to the sense we are going through this (on varying levels and degrees) as a species moving into our sacred humanity and into embodiment of everything higher in all our bodies…physical, emotional, mental, chakral/spiritual/energetic, social.

This is a surrender to the masculine and the feminine aspects of this process and how ultimately they are seeking balance from within you through expression AS you.

Trusting the process may also be inviting you to seek and ask for support from others as space holders, teacher, waySHOWers, and within community too. This has been crucial to my ongoing, deepening trust in the process….I have needed many space holders, a couple beloved teachers and lived in community for many years too, which I co-lead, teach, facilitate, and offer to others. All of these ‘outside’ resources ultimately reflect you to you and help to deepen trust in yourself for however long or deep these connections go.

Trusting the process, yes,….the moment by moment walking this out and BEing with it too. Allowing change to move you where you need to go next. Most of all, trusting the love that holds it all and YOU!

I have a tender place in my heart for this guided meditation that came through with Mother Mary that offers comfort, soothing energies for all the bodies during the ascension process….many people fall asleep which is so OK as it goes in as it meant to and sometimes the conscious mind has be UNconscious for it to go in!

https://youtu.be/nkTbTJBBlHE

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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Trusting What You Are BEcoming

By Jelelle Awen

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To trust what you are BEcoming, to let go of what isn’t YOU and never really WAS in order to return to and remember who you REALLY are……this is the unfolding, arising surrendering process that the Divine energies all around you are supporting.

To let go of others that can’t see you, can’t let in your love, your light or ALL of what awakens as your soul comes through….and yet to invite them to come along, BOTH, yet without settling, shrinking, grabbing at them. Your energy of open, ready, desiring, yet not compromising or playing games invites them to BE the same or to move on.

To no longer need of convincing, contending, or proving to others even as you teach, lead, respond, offer them your soul gifts, healing heart, growing sense of Infinite Possibilities. As you SHARE what you are here to offer as a soul from a place of authenticity, so you become a mirror for those who are ready and meant to see and BE this as well.

To FEEL what is real INside of your heart and soul, what has been contained, restrained, reframed, conditioned and now wants to leak, peak, burst, purge, open, reveal AND heal. This revealing gives others the space and inspiration to be REAL too and NEW deeper intimacy can flow then between you.

This is the personal disclosure process INside that leads to a life experienced as transparent and OPEN with nothing to hide, no compartments, no bubbles that need bursting……as you are loving ALL that you are and so experience a life that is reflecting the same.

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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Trusting That Your Soul Growth Is For Love, By Love, And Held By Love

By Jelelle Awen
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Trust arises as you feel and surrender into the bigger space for which you are held by Divine love. This surrendering process doesn’t require submission to anything outside of you or any outside authority or to another person’s will. The Divine is not an outside authority punishing you for being wrong or sinful; it is an energy of Infinite Love that invites you into love WITH It.

The Ethereal Guides, Ascended Teachers, and Angels that represent the Divine are not asking for your submission to them or for you to see them as greater or bigger than you. Rather they invite you into relationship WITH them, to feel the higher vibrational energies for which they live. ALL -You and them – are enriched, enlivened, and transformed from this connection. Trust arises as you and parts of you (as you connect with the Inner Protector and Soul Guardian who resist surrender and feel unworthiness) lean into this relationship with Guides, feeling how you ARE them and they ARE you.

As parts of you lean into and BE with the growing, awakening, authentic YOU (as it grows through Divine Connection and inner differentiation and connection)….so then can these aspects of you trust love again, especially the part of you that holds anxiety. Anxiety is, at its root, a lack of trust in life and the Divine and fear of getting hurt again. These aspects can ‘surrender into love’ WITH you holding the space for this surrender.

This is the only kind of surrender that actually retains your sovereignty…into self, into love, into the Divine love that comes from within as you embody your Divine fractal-ness more and more.

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Raphael and I will be discussing and teaching about these sorts of themes related to the SoulFullHeart process, community, and way of life tomorrow during a group call at 11:11am CST: https://www.facebook.com/events/642182529312699. More about the SoulFullHeart process, here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/soulfullheartawakeningprocess

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Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book to be released on June 1st, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Embracing Being A Spiritual Student: Humility, Surrender, And Growth

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By Kathleen Calder

I was very spiritually-focused, seeking big answers and asking big questions as of age 14, and have been on this trajectory ever since. Yet being spiritually open does not entitle me to “skip a grade” in life. My desire at the moment is to keep allowing life to bring me what it needs to, in order to bring me to a place where I can offer what I’ve healed to others like me, so they can work to heal it in themselves.

There’s a vulnerability in humbling yourself to be a student. I don’t mean paying thousands of dollars for your education, exactly. I mean allowing yourself to be a student in life, not just in a classroom. Negotiating with the parts of you that feel entitled to skipping ahead to being a teacher feels essential. There are some people I have met who have parts that openly embrace being a student, yet this over-humility doesn’t feel quite right either. There is a way to be a student that allows yourself to be humbled and yet be in your power too. You don’t get to choose the lesson, but you get to choose how to take it in. You don’t always get to choose your teachers either, but you get to choose how to take them in and for how long.

I remember that almost my whole life, I’ve wanted to “skip a grade”. As a child in elementary school, I ached for the recognition of being really smart and basically superior in some ways to everyone else my age, that would come with skipping a grade. I wanted to prove that I needed the challenge. Feels like it was partly the social pain that part of me endured that brought this on. It could also have been the pain of being the “baby of the family”. I had a lot of worth to prove – to “everyone else”, but ultimately to me. I don’t remember ever feeling happy to be the age I was. Part of me always had their eye on being “in” with the older kids. This carried over into my teen years. Yet there were terms I couldn’t compromise on. There were things I just refused to do, like going to parties or drinking or doing drugs. I didn’t really get drunk until my late teens, didn’t try pot until university, and I didn’t really go to many parties until my second year of university. I also didn’t choose to become sexually active until I was 21.

Now I’m 26 years old, going to be 27 very soon (less than a month), and there are life experiences and rites of passage I still haven’t inhabited, like getting my driver’s licence. There are many reasons why this was delayed, but the symbolism of it feels worth exploring – I wasn’t ready to surrender to not knowing how to be in the “driver’s seat” in my own life, at my age, at my stage of spiritual, emotional, worldly knowledge and experience. I try to frame it for my parts, not so much as “immaturity” but as “arrested development”. This makes it feel less critical and easier to own. Makes it easier to admit that I need to be a student of life for a while, to essentially catch up to myself in a way.

Now I’m faced with the challenge of being in life as a 26 year old, trying to catch up on things like inhabiting a job in a much fuller way than I have before, being fully independent in providing for myself (including getting my licence and a car), etc. Gaps of life experience have brought the need to create some social distance from others engaged in the SoulFullHeart way of life. This has been a very hard reality to let in for parts of me. Right now in my process, I am working to let this humble me. It is crazy-making at times to feel how much ground I need to cover within myself and in life, and yet I can hold at the same time that my desire to serve others can only come to fruition if I can surrender to this and the coming life phases. I am working daily towards that deeper surrender by challenging myself to be in my power and spine, while also feeling my parts through all life changes and decisions. I need to keep reminding my parts that we are not entitled to be older than we are, in any other sacred life phase than we are right now.

I know and can feel that there are others around my age who have had a similar experience of themselves in this life. I was very spiritually-focused, seeking big answers and asking big questions as of age 14, and have been on this trajectory ever since. Yet being spiritually open does not entitle me to “skip a grade” in life. It also does not entitle me to the role of “teacher” when I have yet to fully embrace being a student. My desire at the moment is to keep allowing life to bring me what it needs to, in order to bring me to a place where I can offer what I’ve healed to others like me, so they can work to heal it in themselves. I feel that if those in my generation and younger can do this, we can really be the start of a new wave of human being that is much more authentically compassionate and embodied, not only for our sake but for the sake of our world as a whole.

Kathleen Calder has been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way of Life since January, 2012. Go here to read more of her writing and visit soulfullheart.com for more information about SoulFullHeart.

Lessons From The Spawning Salmon: Surrendering To The Natural Cycles Of Change, Death And Rebirth

By Jillian Vriend

It is the sound that originally draws me during my daily beachfront walk. I am in Powell River, British Columbia, two ferry rides from the Vancouver area. I am drawn by the sound of flapping fins and rustling waters. And, there they are: dozens of large grey and pink fish swimming in a tiny stream flowing into the ocean; straining to move upstream against the current. My brain struggles to catch up with what I am seeing; it just feels so strange to see these near two to three feet long fish from the deepest ocean swimming in eight inches of water, clustered together in tight rows. The young part of me named Aurora finds the scene compelling at first, exclaiming inside my head, “Look, fishes! Huge fishes in the stream!” And she (along with my dog Koda) stand captivated for many moments watching them.

Then a young boy also watching the fish shouts, “That one is dead, mom. They are all gonna die, right?”

I feel Aurora wanting to protest, tell the rude boy to be quiet, and then we take in the whole scene. At the mouth of the stream and the ocean, dozens of seagulls are gathering, as if waiting for a feast to be served. The path the fish had taken across the beach to get where they are currently struggling to get upstream is impossible for them to go back down. Their trip is one way only. They are, indeed, all going to die.

I remember hearing about this phenomenon before, although being newer to Canada, hadn’t witnessed it yet. It was the annual salmon run where the fish return to their place of birth and spawn the next generation of their species before dying themselves. The instinct to return to their birth place is ingrained in them deeply, even going counter to their survival instincts as they can’t possibly make it through such a journey. While Aurora’s heart seems to break at this reality, I find myself moved and touched by the symbolism of the beautiful fishes instinct to sacrifice themselves in order to birth future generations.

This reminds me of the phoenix cycle, which in SoulFullHeart work is what we call the birth/death/mourning/rebirth process that is a natural part of the life cycle and, thus, is natural in our emotional and spiritual healing process as well. This death and rebirth process is the great equalizer and balancer. I have experienced personally that to the degree that we are open, proactive, and surrendered to undergoing in our own lives this process of transformation is the degree we can be in more surrender, less reaction and resistance, and in more flow with the changes that are happening in our world. Also, the more we feel our parts in reaction or in resistance to the process, the more we are able to arise from the ashes embodying our more authentic form. Just as the salmon are trusting that their surrender to the upstream climb will lead to the next life cycle, we offer to clients that when life brings them, or when they initiate the phoenix cycle in their own lives, it is the degree that they can trust this process that leads to deeper acceptance and transformation.

It can be a very painful process. However, we offer that the Divine would rather have us burn off something false and get it over with, then have us suffer in repeated loops of teased growth that doesn’t sustain or really change anything in our lives. In the SoulFullHeart process, you negotiate and navigate these transitions through ongoing dialogue with your parts, especially your more expressed ones such as your Daemon (soul guardian) or Prime Monarch (main personality part), so that it is at a rate that you and your parts can bear. These parts resist change and transformation as they would rather keep life safe, known, and constant for you.

The invitation to surrender to phoenix cycles continues all our lives, as it is the force of the natural world, yet the grace and acceptance at which we respond to it grows as we become more in touch with what is false in our lives, especially related to our relationships and career choices. This can be particularly painful when people in relationship with us, especially family and friends, are in different places and phases from us in terms of growth and transformation. It can be a challenging crucible to vulnerably advocate for what we most deeply want and who we are in these relationships, while at the same time inviting our loved ones to explore this new ground of healthier boundaries with previously suppressed feelings being invited to be expressed. It seems to be rare that this exploration finds alignment, which can lead to much hurt and misunderstanding. This too, though, is an aspect of the Phoenix Cycle. The Divine invites us to trust that, “only what is false can be lost.” Whatever the authentic connection is that we have with others or our authentic expression is in terms of our professional choices, it will sustain and grow through the crucible of the phoenix cycle, which naturally burns off what isn’t serving us any longer.

Wayne and I recently experienced an intense phoenix cycle related to money management and our relationship, which I write about here. We invite these movements into our lives, as we have experienced that change fueled by our authentic desire, responded to vulnerably and with willingness to feel our reactions, always leads to growth, more nourishment, and deeper intimacy with ourselves, each other, and the Divine.

This week as I walk by the salmon, who are actively in the process of dying yet are also, at the same time, birthing their next generation, I feel both sadness and hope. The sadness comes from the loss of their current forms and the hope comes from what is possible in the offspring that arises from their death. This is the same bittersweet feelings I have about the intimate changes I feel happening and am holding with our SoulFullHeart clients and in the global phoenix cycle that we are all connected to and impacted by that is playing out in the looming changes that are coming, whether we invite them into our lives or not.

Visit SoulFullHeart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart Healing Process.

Dying in Submission or Thriving in Surrender?

By Wayne

Here’s an important question when it comes to relating to a any group or leader, or religious organization: Are they asking for my submission or my surrender?

If you come to a mentor, or a leader, or a group, whether it’s in the realm of spirituality, business or even family, for support, guidance or direction; putting this question on your radar can make or break your allegiance, as it should.

This question has been a guiding light for me over many years even when it was more subconscious than it was something I could put more words around as I will attempt now. 🙂

When a client comes to work with us in Soulfullheart work, we need them to lean into us, to see us as able to help, to see us a resource. This is true whether you are going to a dentist, an auto mechanic or a priest or pastor, or joining a group of any kind.

But how we, and they, relate to that ‘leaning in’ makes all difference in the world.

A leader who says that they have the truth; energizes that they have deeper knowledge; the path to your truest growth; and that if you lose sight of that, you will have to live with the penalties of being on the outside of their blessing, is using fear to bring and keep you under control and is asking for your submission.

A leader who offers what they have to offer, who even makes a bold claim as to what it can do to help; and invites you to consider it for yourself; who acknowledges that you are a sovereign being; who acknowledges that the healing gifts he or she offers don’t get to go anywhere without the participation of the client or seeker; who energizes no disdain for your choice to say ‘no,’ is asking and waiting patiently for your surrender.

One suppresses your power, the other enlivens it. One is afraid of your bigness, the other welcomes it. One sees your strength as a threat, the other sees it as an asset.

The difference here though is usually not so obvious, or we wouldn’t keep stubbing our toes or breaking our hearts over this question. Here are a few ways to look deeper and ascertain for yourself if the frequencies the group or leader are emitting are more about seeking submission or surrender:

How does the group or leader relate to those who are no longer a part of it? Does it hold more respect or more disdain? This is an important question because ultimately we end up leaving every group we join. And this question you can easily find the answer to before you join.

The other big one is how does the group feel on a transparency level? Most of us are now suspect that the politeness of politicians is a cover for lack of transparency and designed to gain and keep power. This way of being in the world is of course nearing it’s end as more and more of us can see through that for what it is.

Does the group come off as having more of the proud answers to life or instead the humble questions? Are they in the realm of knowing all the time or can they breathe in not knowing?

But let’s say, you’re already in deeper, have been for a good while, with many parts of your family and social and even possibly your financial life tied in in deep ways, and you are increasingly chafing at what feels like leaders being controlling and working to maintain your submission, and even masking that as asking for your surrender. What do you do with that? You might already know that there is no space within the group to openly question the leader without being labeled as disloyal or having a bad spirit, or just not ‘getting it.’ If that’s the case, the question for you isn’t whether the group is healthy or not, but more about how to find the courage to leave.

And that’s the kicker, because the time spent in submission is designed to erode the spine you would need to leave and say ‘no more.’ Alternatively, the time spent in healthy surrender is designed for you to see and determine when the growth you came for is achieved and that you are being called to move on, that you are ready to move on, with some sadness, sure, but not with any implanted fear of failure, lingering trauma, or feeling of being destitute.

Submission erodes your power and takes it from you. Surrender awakens you to your power and enhances your relationship to your own power. Surrender can never be demanded, it can only be freely and powerfully given. Surrender breeds powerful equals, submission breeds underlings.

Soulfullheart would take this question a step farther by asking a couple more questions that look at this same issue as it relates to our relationship with ourselves as well as our relationship to the divine:

“How has a more controlling part of me demanded the submission of the more vulnerable parts of myself?” and a second part to that question: “how has that process enabled me to stagnate in groups that no longer serve me?”

and:

“How has a controlling submission picture inside of me to the divine affected me with allegiance to a false god or an atheistic ‘f-you’ to the divine?”

We create in our outer life what is true in our inner life, and then our inner life moves, and our outer life follows.