Tag: quan yin

Surrogacy W/Kuan Yin Offers Compassion, Forgiveness, And Stillness

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By Jelelle Awen

For the last month, I have been experiencing a surrogacy with Kuan Yin (or Quan Yin), an aspect of the Divine Mother that holds a non-dualistic space and bodhisattva energy. A surrogacy with the Divine Mother is a visceral, daily connection space for a phase of time where you are letting in the specific tones that She is offering through whatever ‘form’ of Her that you will be most responsive to in the moment.
 
Kuan Yin is a beloved teacher for me, yet She is also a mirror for me. Her repeated mantra to me is often, “I am you and you are me.” This is an invitation to move beyond comparison, beyond feeling that I am ‘less’ than Her, beyond separation and into Unity. It also serves as a reminder that I am a Divine Spark in human form (as we ALL are.)
 
This latest round of surrogacy began as I started fasting and wanted to bring more prana/chi/life force energy into my body. I showed up in Kuan Yin’s etheric space, which is a beautiful oriental garden temple in the mountains of Japan. Kuan Yin connected me to a helpful mantra of “OM” (on the inhale) and “Ma” (on the exhale), which allows my mind and body to fill up with prana and then release it into my own energy field and the space around me. Om Ma is letting in the Divine in its Universal Form and exhaling Divine Mother’s expression.
 
I have also been connecting with a Metasoul aspect of mine named Lau, who is a disciple of Kuan Yin’s. As I have calibrated to the soft, gentle, delicate, and still nature of both Kuan Yin and Lau, tears have come up in moments. The tears have been about a mourning for a soft and compassionate feminine energy that I did not have or know with my own birth mother. There has also been hurt coming up for Lau in her relationship with her mother in her timeline that mirrors mine around not being seen for my soul gifts, my Divine presence, or my essence by my birth mother nor any of these gifts watered or initiated in me by her.
 
What I experienced of the feminine (as true for so many of us) was a matriarchal energy from my birth family line that had tones of control, manipulation, fear, and anxiety in it. There was little stillness, little love transacting, yet rather much frenetic energy that ‘filled the space’ and left no room for the authentic feminine to arise.
 
Over many years of processing this reality with parts of myself and having a very necessary phase of no contact with my birth mother, much of this wounding has healed. A healing that has been deep enough to allow a genuine flow of love and compassion from my heart to other women, especially those I serve in session space.
 
Yet, also this love transacts between me and my own daughter Raianna Shai at a rich and meaningful way, free from the angst, competition and controlling energies that I experienced as a daughter. When I started my healing journey many years ago, I knew that I could not authentically serve the arising of the sacred feminine in others nor be the kind of mother I wanted to be if I did not focus deeply and with complete intention on healing the difficult and painful experience I had myself this life and other lifetimes with the wounded feminine.
 
Kuan Yin’s energy offers a template for a feminine that is still, that is oriented first to BEing, that can feel the cries of the world without becoming them. I am so grateful for the Divine Mother and the many faces of Her that have been such a loving balm to all the parts of me that have needed them. And, it is Her energy that overflows to others in service of love so often when parts of them most need to feel forgiving, nurturing, and non-judgemental energies.
 
Kuan Yin reminds us that we are deeply loved for our essence….always and in all ways. We are Her and She is us.

~

Here is a guided meditation to connect with Kuan Yin and other faces of Divine Mother with Kalayna and me: 

 

I am also offering a new women’s group starting on Sunday, September 29th at 10:00am PDT over zoom for women over 18. I am honored to dive into the depths of sacred arising feminine exploration based on my experiences in my own process and serving other women for over 15 years. I am sure that Kuan Yin and other faces of Divine Mother will be joining us to hold the space for this sacred work! There is more information here if you’d like to join me live or to receive the recording for a $15 CAD donation: https://www.facebook.com/events/933962383622792/

or here; https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/womengroupcalls

 Love, Jelelle Awen

Soulfullheartwayoflife.com
Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Meeting In The Middle- White Energy Staircase Meditation: Meditations With Kuan Yin Series

Published on by Jelelle Awen1 Comment

escalera-al-cielo

By Jelelle Awen

I am walking up the stairs, visualizing pure, white light all around me. I feel a lightening up in my body as I ascend up the stairs with every inhale and rest on the exhale. I count out each step as a means to keep my mind active while I start to feel a sense of pulling from my crown or seventh chakra. I climb as high as my body will go until I feel resistance. I see a door to my right and I walk through it to enter a large, open space with an extended platform.

In my physical body, I feel as if my torso is elongated and stretching out with my two hands (which are resting in a mudra on my crossed legs) seeming to be quite far away from my head. It is a unique feeling and I am enjoying it, already feeling how it could be a simple thing to travel out of my body following this method.

I begin to feel love and desire flood through me as I repeat over and over a call for Kuan Yin to come be with me if it is the will of the Divine. I exclaim, “I AM God,” feeling a shiver of recognition move through my body of my expression as a fragment of the Divine source. I see the outline of Kuan Yin start to appear before me, framed in a brilliant white light. She is so radiant that I squint my eyes, even though my ‘physical eyes’ are closed.

We don’t exchange words at first, but just bask in our communion with each other. I am in awe, I am in love, I am grateful just to be near Her.

The only thing She says to me is what She has offered me in a previous meditations, “I am you and you are me.” I take this in as the love, gratitude and awe that I am projecting onto Her also lives inside of me.

This simple meditation in which you climb a staircase to access higher dimensional realities while asking for connection with ethereal Beings is offered in a very expansive and transformational book called World Of Archangels by Sufian Chaudhary.

Explains Sufian in his book, “The human body has a very low vibration in order to maintain its physicality. The higher in vibration you manage to achieve, the more you will perceive yourself as a powerful energetic source rather than something limited to the physical world….the most effective communication with ethereal Beings takes place when both parties alter their vibratory level in order to meet each other on middle ground.”

I have been connecting with ethereal Beings such as spirit guides, angels, and ascended masters for several years, yet I can feel a difference now in the purity and intensity of the connection that can be experienced after engaging in the staircase meditation and ‘meeting’ these Beings in a middle point. Such a simple meditation and, yet, one offering seemingly limitless possibilities of experience!

 Note: This blog is part of a series of blog entries sharing experiences and conversations I have while meditating and opening myself to the frequencies of Kuan Yin, a female form of a Bodhisattva or enlightened, ascended teacher. To read the first in this series, please go here. 

Jelelle Awen is a SoulFullHeart facilitator and co-creator. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life for more information about staying at the SoulFullHeart Sanctuary and sessions to begin your SoulFullHeart awakening process.

Letting In Love On Our Birthdays

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multi-colored-heart_-with-beams_-of_-light_

Compassion flows the strongest from self love, not self sacrifice.

Note: This is a series of blog entries sharing experiences and conversations I have while meditating and opening myself to the frequencies of Kuan Yin, a female form of a Bodhisattva or enlightened, ascended teacher and face of the Divine Mother. To read the first in this series, please go here. 

By Jelelle Awen

I am diligent, repeating my “Ma Om” mantra and touching parts of my body, imagining Kuan Yin merging with me. I particularly hover my hands over my seven chakras, which are whirling centers of energy in our etheric or subtle body. I grip a rose quartz in my hand as that is the stone that holds the energy of the Divine Mother to me.

I feel the warmth of Kuan Yin’s presence and her voice, bright in my head, saying, “Happy Birthday, Jilly Bird!”

I am a little surprised by her enthusiasm about my 44th birthday. “Is it happy? I mean, is it really anything?”

“It is a celebration of you! I celebrate you!” She enthuses at me.

“Birthdays are an illusion, aren’t they?” I ask, ever trying to be the good student.

“In the sense of….there is no time, yes. In the sense of……you being born and dying every arising moment rather than just being born in one moment, yes.”

“Yes, and in the sense of numbers of years on earth being meaningless to reflect true maturity.”

She smiles her soft smile at me.

“In previous years I have felt a young part of me, my inner child, become very excited about my birthday,” I say. “She would want to feel special and she wanted attention. This year, she feels content inside of me and, in some ways, like this day is the same as any other.”

“Birthdays offer a space to receive appreciation, recognition, and well wishes. You want these, don’t you?”

I don’t have to think about this for long. “Of course. Although sometimes it can be a struggle to let it in.”

“Yes, a struggle. This is what to feel today, Jelelle. On your birthday. To feel letting in love into your heart.”

At that moment, I feel a surge of warm energy in my fourth or heart chakra. It radiates out, like the sun, like a stone dropped into a pond rippling soft waves in all directions.

I feel the capacity to let in love expand with Her energy and Her encouragement.

I also feel how compassion has to start with myself before it can truly overflow to others. Letting the love and appreciation I receive on my birthday from those people most intimate with me creates an overflow that can then go to others. This is the true way that compassion flows the strongest……from self love, not self sacrifice.

I carry this feeling of letting in with me as I check my emails and my facebook account. I am brought to tears a few times by the outpouring of love and appreciation that I receive from others, especially those in our SoulFullHeart community.

And, I feel in this where my heart is more comfortable still giving out then letting in. Even after years of being in a marriage with a mate who showers me with affection and attention. Even after years of receiving gratitude from students who I serve and have served. Even after years of feeling connection with the Divine Mother and the exquisite sense of being loved by Her as a beloved daughter.

The process of letting in and receiving love is an ongoing one and I believe a much harder energy to inhabit than giving love. It is a wonderful practice though, on our birthdays or any other ‘normal’ day.

~

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book to be released on June 1st, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Going Beyond The Mind Not Against It: Meditations With Kuan Yin Blog Series

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By Jelelle Awen

kuanyinmind2

I start these processes without knowing where they will go or lead me; not knowing how they will unfold to offer consciousness expansion for myself; not knowing how they might serve spiritual and emotional consciousness awakening and expansion in others. I follow a desire and from there the form unfolds.

I was led recently by a desire to deepen experiences I have had (even though they aren’t ‘experiences’ in another way) of altered states of consciousness over the years but particularly in the last 18 months since moving to a remote, off-grid sanctuary in rural Mexico. I call these experiences a ‘dripline’ because while they are strong in the moment of happening, they move on eventually. They feel like a drip rather than a gush, so far. I trust this drip is what I and parts of me can let in right now.

As I describe in the first entry in this series, I have a relationship with Kuan Yin (a female form of a Bodhisattva or enlightened, ascended teacher) that goes back several years to when I was awakened to Divine Feminine consciousness after becoming attuned in Reiki energy healing. The shamanistic healer and Reiki Master who attuned me also offered that I turn to Kuan Yin as my personal spirit guide and teacher. My immediate response to her suggestion was to burst into tears. Just the mention of Kuan Yin (who I wasn’t really familiar with at the time) brought up a huge surge of heart and soul longing.

Kuan Yin is both (at times) stern sounding but affectionate mother and penetrating spiritual teacher. I feel both comfort and discomfort around Her energy. She is both familiar and foreign; nurturing and, at the same time, without a form to wrap around. All these contradictions seem to work for Her though and my heart trusts and loves her deeply even if my mind can’t quite grasp Her. But, that’s the point actually.

This morning, during our meditation time together, She inspired me to share regularly about my experiences with Her during this time of surrogacy together and offer whatever message She would like to express through me. I have long ago embraced my soul purpose as Divine messenger and scribe; it is at times a very blessed thing to be and at times can draw misunderstanding and strong resistive projections from others (just as the Divine Mother Herself can.) I feel that we all have the capacity to connect with various forms and energies of the Divine Mother and receive Her messages. Billions of people already do in the form of what the world’s religions offer, such as worshipping Mother Mary, even if their religion can tend to filter the purity of Her heart and message. I describe the mantra and process I use to connect with Her in this blog entry.

So, I will share regularly. I wanted to say ‘daily’ but that doesn’t have much meaning in the moment as what is a day (or any measurement of time) but an illusion created by the mind? Kuan Yin would say so anyway.

As I repeated my “Ma Om” mantra while touching my body and feeling my love for Kuan Yin this morning, I noticed the crazy activity of my mind. How the thoughts and mental digestions seemed to ‘interrupt’ the process every few seconds! My mind wanted to process and package the whole experience before I’d even really had it. I would move my attention back to the mantra and, again, after a few seconds, would discover I had drifted again.

Kuan Yin was with me in this, seemed to feel my growing concern, and we began to dialogue about it.

“Busy mind, yes,” She said to me in her penetrating way.

“It is so busy! I try to still it with these mantras and it gets bored. It seems to rebel and want to gallop away like a wild horse,” I responded.

I do believe She chuckled then…laughing with me, not at me.

“Yes, like wild horse. But, why you go against it? What does it want?”

I felt and thought about this for a moment. “My mind says that mantras are too boring. It likes dialogue and conversation. Or to go on creative visualization and etheric journeys like we used to. When it is occupied in ‘helping’ with these things, then it can let in energies such as Kundalini or the Non-Dual.”

“So, why you not let it?”

“I didn’t think that was Ok?” I admit, feeling very much like a beginner in that moment.

“Who say it not OK? Who know what is right for you other than you? You’ve got a very imaginative mind, Jilly Bird. It is beautiful. Let it help you move beyond it.”

I contemplated this for a moment (and so did my mind) and we both felt this sense of goodness about that. Rather than trying to ‘tame’ my mind, I could flow with it. All of my most altered states had come through letting my mind help take me on an imaginative journey, as Kuan Yin said.

“And,” She continued, “Just what do you suppose is helping you talk with me right now?”

I could feel my mind get a bit puffed up, but that felt better than putting it down. “For the last ten years, my process has been about forming relationship with and creating negotiation…whether it was with parts of me or with the Divine or with my body. Forming relationship is a dualistic approach though…”

She cut me off with, “Calling something ‘a dualistic approach.’ These are just words. Other people’s words. You follow your own heart, as you have always done. As you teach others to do.”

“I offer a path that has worked for me and then, yes, support them to find their own heart and soul way along it.”

“So, same for you, J-Bird. Same for you.”

I was left with a primary message today that it isn’t about going against the mind but rather beyond it. Taking it with you as a helper, but journeying beyond it….where life can then fully take flight.

Jelelle Awen is a facilitator and co-creator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life  for more information.

A Preschool Beyond The Mind: Meditations With Kuan Yin Blog Series

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Kuan-Yin-and-Bird

By Jelelle Awen

I originally wrote this writing about a visualization visit that I had with Kuan Yin, (a female form of a Bodhisattva or enlightened, ascended teacher) in 2010. I began to experience visualization visits with different faces and energies of the feminine face of God after I received reiki energy healing attunement from a shamanistic healer. The transmission of reiki energy seemed to spark soul access in me related to clear communication and experience of the Divine Feminine. Not channeling, per se, as I remained conscious the whole time. I interacted with four specific faces of the Mother and one of them was Kuan Yin.

Before I began to connect with Kuan Yin in the visceral way that I describe below, I had never read anything about Her even as I had received some sagehood teachings from my former spiritual teacher, who had practiced Zen Buddhism along with many other things. It was later, after I read more about Kuan Yin, that I was touched to feel how I had seemed to authentically experience Her energy and guidance even without knowing much about Her. My experience went beyond what my mind could know to the place where only my heart and soul could access.

I am sharing this piece of writing again because I have very recently begun a renewed surrogacy time with Kuan Yin. I am engaging in daily meditation with her, inviting Her in for visits with me, and receiving Her guidance. My ultimate desire is to feel our union with each other; to feel how I am Her and She is Me. To feel how none of us is separate; no being is higher or lower than the other. I still feel a strong tendency in my soul history to feel I am the student related to such Divine beings, so this will take some practice. The meditation that I am engaging in is one offered by Martin Birrittella in his book, The Field: How To Experience The Field Of Love and it is based on a practice of Hindu saint Chidananda Avadhuta.

In this meditation, you find a quiet place to sit in comfort. Feel your breaths going in and out. On the inhale breath, repeat the mantra, “Ma” and on the exhale breath, the mantra, “Om”. Concentrate on the form of Kuan Yin in front of you or on another face of the Divine Mother.* Have your mind become as still as possible. Feel love and honor in your heart for Kuan Yin. See Her all around you, above, below, and beside you. Visualize that your body is merged with Her body while you continue to repeat the mantra of “Ma Om.”

Touch all parts of your body as you continue to repeat the mantra, feeling yourself connect with Her. Continue to touch your body as you repeat the mantra, over and over with love and trust. Feel how you are Her and She is you. As you walk around the rest of the day, feel your hearts merged and connected to each other.

For me, I also experience a dialogue with Kuan Yin during this process, where she guides me and offers reflections to me before the sense of unionizing begins. She talks more than I do, which suits me just fine.

Below is the experience I previously had with Kuan Yin:

Here is it and I am here. This “it-ness” has been called a “Monday” and each moment has been given a category of a “second” and then a label of a “minute” and “hour” and “date.” These are false to the true reality of the moment as there is no time actually, yet only the arising magic of the Divine exhale and inhale that is the uprising breath of the moment. This naming and categorizing every moment in a linear way is false food to comfort the mind, yet I have eaten this diet of dualistic thought forms my whole life.

I am in preschool again; a preschool that is the real school of life where there are no rules to follow, dualistic concepts to learn, or linear realities to accept. This pre-school is where the beginner’s mind is not educated and conditioned to become an expert in dualistic reality. It is where the beginner’s mind is celebrated and encouraged to become even more childlike and simple and unlearned.

I am guided by Kuan Yin. She tells me to move beyond past associations and we track lovingly my mind’s (led by my false self) wanderings together. We track together my mind’s seemingly obsessive need to connect and associate everything with something else from my past.

“Be in this moment,” she tells me. “Be stillness in this moment.”

This is helpful. I can be stillness again after finding myself wandering off into content and into thoughts that only clutter rather than liberate. She offers me the picture of a very still lake and we are sitting, lotus style, at the shore. Peace, quiet, stillness, depth.

Yet the most helpful to me is her repeatedly saying, “Arise and dissipate.” I see trails and streams of life and energy in these words, which repeated often enough cease to have any meaning at all. Yet, like any mantra used while meditating, they help to give the mind something to occupy itself so the not-mind may be revealed in the spaces in  between the busy thoughts.

I feel a purifying inside. I feel stillness. I feel liberation from the past, and I feel sleepy. I dose all day, in and out of consciousness and not in pure sleep yet somewhere else, somewhere “not here” and yet “not there” either. Repeatedly Kuan Yin asks me if I am ready to learn more and go deeper. She is a kind yet dedicated teacher, making it safer to explore this unknown ground, the one I have always yearned for. Repeatedly, I answer her with a “yes”, surrendering my day to spend in this place of not place.

When I take a walk in the park near my home later that night, the flowers arise. The irises in the garden unfold and wink at me. The birds fly very close, nearly crashing into me, and I feel how somehow I have become more of their substance and more of where and what they are. They do not feel separate from me. They feel more kin than the people busily walking by, people not being but doing, and that is ok. I forget words for things and the things become more alive and miraculous in the forgetting.

Arising and dissipating.

I am in awe of the bigger container and canvas of the Creatrix for which all of life is painted upon. I am in awe of the whiteness backdrop of Her genesis.

This is a gift; this no-place yet all-place place that I am in. I wish for it to last forever even as I am offered that, “forever is as it already is as I am and All That Is is.”

This makes my mind hurt and get confused in a good way.

The next “day” offers different spaces, different challenges, emotional turmoil, yet the feelings and memories and template of the stillness and arising place remain. They hold it all and She holds me, bearing gentle witness to all that arises and dissipates in my journey deeper into myself with Her.

Jelelle Awen is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and co-creator. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life for more information.