Sacred Re-Birthday

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By Christopher Tydeman

In each of us, we hold a sacred human seed.  An embryo, if you will.  There is not one person that does not have it, as we are all a part of All That Is.  Our destiny is to manifest, give birth, to this divine child within us.

Yesterday was my birthday.  I reread my blog from last year and felt the emotional place I was in.  It was a time of major change in my life, as it is again this year.  Last year I was birthing into a new relationship with myself, SoulFullHeart, a mate, and the Divine.  This year the same statement is true, just on a deeper ground.  Last year, I was letting go all I was.  This year I am letting in all I am.

The birthing process in SoulFullHeart is not a simple task.  It can be a very trying time for the part of us that is resisting the Divine flow of growth and change.  The level of pain is equal to the level of resistance.  A part of me says, “You make it sound like torture!”  This is not a physical pain that I refer to, but an emotional period of letting go and letting in.

In each of us, we hold a sacred human seed.  An embryo, if you will.  There is not one person that does not have it, as we are all a part of All That Is.  Our destiny is to manifest, give birth, to this divine child within us.  It is always striving for this as a plant is drawn toward the sun.  It will not be denied.  Does that sound like fate?  It does to me, but the rate of that growth and the choice to bloom rest solely in our sacred authority.

There is a Divine paradox in that.  I have a destiny, for which I won’t be denied, but get to choose how and when I want that to unfold.  Fate and freewill.  When we are awakened to this truth within us, there comes a time when we have to make a challenging choice. Do we resist this growth and stay stuck in our painfully protective shell, or do we move through a temporal pain (or “pane” as in window pane) to be born into a bigger more expansive place, with more air and more light?

The scary part is that we have no clue what lies on the other side of that birth canal, just as a baby doesn’t when they exit the womb.  In that moment there is the Mother, our Mother, who is waiting with Her blanket of love to wrap you up and help you feel it will all be okay.  You are surrounded by others in a soulful-hearted family who have been there too, and will welcome you into your reality and emotional consciousness with open arms and hearts.  This is your first sacred SoulFullHeart birthday.  Welcome home.

 Christopher Tydeman has been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life off and on since August, 2010. He is a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and he hosted the SoulFullHeart Experience Radio ShowFor more information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, visit soulfullheart.com

A SoulFullHeart Birthday

By Cristian Tydeman

When I was a kid, my birthday was a day in which, for one 24 hour period, I was the star.  I took center stage and everyone else was my supporting cast.  It felt good to be recognized and acknowledged for just being me.  So much so, that I remember telling people it was my birthday, just to receive those accolades.  A cheesy grin would be painted on my face.  “If it could only be like that every day, for everyone,” says my young Christopher part.  Words of angelic desire, from the lips of a child.

As I got older, the feeling around my birthday was that it was “just another day”.  I appreciated the phone calls, the cards, and the gifts, but somehow the magic just wasn’t there anymore.  Or I just couldn’t let it in.  The focus of the birthday became the number and not the pats on the back and the sweet cards from my daughter.  Somewhere along the way, I didn’t feel I was worth it.  Or at least a part of me didn’t.

This is hitting me pretty hard in the moment.  This feeling that, out of all the days during my life, a part of me couldn’t let in love for that ONE day.  A part of me couldn’t enjoy the beauty and joy around him.  The same letting in that I allowed as a child.  I had become desensitized to my own heart.

But this birthday was different than any other.  Today I let in the love from those that I love the most.  So much so, I found myself crying in the middle of my classroom as I read emails from my new SoulFullHeart family.  My young Christopher, wanting so desperately to be with them and eat cake and ice cream and be sung to.  “No gifts, Cristian, just love, please,” is the only thing he can say with tears in his eyes.

The tears are of longing and ache to be there with them, but also of letting go.  Letting go of the family he used to spend his birthdays with.  The birth family where the birthday memories began.  Yeah, we got cards and a gift from them.  There is love behind them that we acknowledge and are grateful for.  But it is not the “love” that neither I nor he desire.  It is a “love” for an old me.  The sentiment being sent was that “no matter who you are we still love you.”  It seems like a sweet gesture, but that is not good enough anymore.  I am not swayed by guilt anymore.  I want a family who will feel me AND my parts. I want a family who will shower my young Christopher with love and praise.  I want a family who will lovingly challenge us without the bite of criticism, judgment, or faithlessness.  I want a family who I have a common ground with.  A family we can learn from and respect by their own example.  I choose a SoulFullHeart family.

I am grateful for all my birth family provided for me.  They are why I am here, becoming who I am.  I drew them for a reason, and my time with them has been completed, at least for the short term.  If they so choose to go into their own hearts, and heal their own shadow, I would be there greeting them with open arms.  Until then, this may be my last birthday in contact with them.  Hence, the tears.

On the flip side, there is newness.  A re-birth, if you will.  The uncovering and discovering of the REAL me.  The ME that has been repressed and suppressed for far too long.  The ME that is the head of this household I call my SFH Self.  The ME that is the space-holder and lover of all my parts, especially my dearest Christopher.  They have a new father to lean into.  A new family to be supported and guided by.  As for me, I have a new love blossoming and a new NOW to create with her.  I have a rekindled love affair with the Divine in all Her beauty and grace.

Hello everyone.  Today is my first birthday and my name is Cristian.

Note from Jillian: I made this photo collage for Cristian to celebrate the day of his birth and his emerging birth into himself. Seemed appropriate for this post.:)

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