I Am Thee I Am


By Raphael Awen

Michael Guss sweetly asked the question below and I felt to feel into it and respond. Like all really good QUESTions, they move us on our quest!

Michael asked: “Something I never encountered yet explained – although referred to frequently – is a definition/explanation of the meaning of “I AM” and “I AM presence” etc. I just never saw it explained anywhere. I have an intuitive idea of the meaning and I’d love to get a bit more externally. Would you mind to give me a link or point me toward a source or even see it as an opportunity to educate/share through your own words/work? Many thanks.”

The first thing that comes to me is that there is only one ‘I am’. You are it and it is you.

While it’s true that we could say, that we ‘share’ in consciousness, it feels also accurate to say that all consciousness in its totality exists in us. We are a fractal reality, where the all is contained in each and every part. This is because we are not actually separate, but have just been afforded the growth illusion ground of having an adequately convincing experience of being separate.

I keep coming back to the meaning of the word ‘in-divi-dual’ which means something like ‘a two-ness that can’t be divided’ which is a mathematical paradox because 2 can be divided into one and one. This hints at the essence of our being which is pure essence AND pure experience at the same time. We get to have the experience of being separate, while not actually being separate. This feels like the great experiment that consciousness (which is love) wanted and needed to play with and for which we volunteered.

I am one and inseparable with you and yet I have boundaries with you. Both are true. We are in a two-ness that can’t be divided reality. I am unconditional love with all and yet, I am also conditional love with others in transaction ground with healthy boundaries where I can advocate for what I want and need and say ‘no’ to what I don’t want.

I get to be in the magic of duality and non-duality at the same time.

When Moses was confronted by a burning bush to go tell Pharaoh to release God’s people from captivity, he asked God whom he should claim had sent him and the voice answered “Tell him the ‘I Am’ hath sent thee”. This is the only authorization there is for all of consciousness AND experience, for duality and non-duality, our reason for BEing, our reason for bondage and liberty, for sorrow and joy, for wound and healing, the experiment of the ‘I am’ out seeking a way to know itself. We are the sent ones of the I am.

All is contained in love, and all is the I am, and nothing can ever be, or ever was, …separate.

Okay, let me pause there and allow space for others insights! What a cool subject, and one that we could keep intuiting on and on and on.

Thank you Michael for your question and I await yours and others input and insights…


Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Beyond Peak Duality: Claiming Your Sacred Humanity


During these ascending times, you are being invited to claim your truest essence as sacred humans.  To claim your fullest expression that is void of limitations and impossibilities.  You are not being asked to leave your humanity behind, but rather to take all that you have learned during your time here in this dimension to fully inhabit something new that you get to add in Love’s quest to know, feel, and explore Itself.  

There is something in you that “knows” you are not all that you could be and ARE in this moment.  It is a heart and soul knowing. It is in your cells and DNA.  It is just what you are and all you can do is choose not to BE it.  That is a claim.  That is a choice based in your free-willed creative power.  OR you can choose to claim the greatest expression you can possibly dream of.  You can claim the Love that is reigning over you…as much as you can let in.  To truly claim the depth and breadth of this you must feel your own reverence as a human BEing.  

Being human can and has been felt as a prison sentence to some souls as the weight of this dimension has had its effects.  It trials and tribulations.  In this state of Peak Duality, separation had been the only game in town for many.  But now the tides are turning in Love’s favor.  We are literally propelling back toward higher consciousness with Gaia as our cruise ship. It is at this time that you came to heal all the karma and blocks that keep you apart from your true essence as a sacred human.  To claim that you are God, the Universe, and Infinite Love there is a bit of doubt and unworthiness that must be felt to clear the decks for Love from multiple sources to make its way in.  
You are being asked to BE on equal footing as angels, star beings, other aetheric energies, and even God Itself for you ARE all of them and they you.  This is a big pill to swallow and it is the process of claiming that brings you the healing you need to open up to what Metatron with Jelelle has referred to as Conscious Dualism and Sacred Humanity.   To be in a state of feeling the Oneness with All That Is while at the same moment feeling our individual expression within the Dual.  To revere your guides, angels, and star BEing family while at the same time letting in their reverence for you in all that you have been through and get to experience in this kaleidescope dimension of extreme variation of expression and feeling.  There is a birthing of something new for all of us in this magical connection and reunion.  We are not being saved.  We are being united as One.  That is a pretty cool picture but one that takes claiming and healing.  I look forward to the new vistas and magical possibilities that this continued expansion and reuniting will bring for all of us in the new world of higher dimensional consciousness…oh, yeah..and Love too.  🙂  

Gabriel Heartman is a facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Supercharged Personal Growth


By Raphael Awen


Many of us have been made aware that time and space are not ultimately real.

They are real enough to us as we live our lives within a certain bandwidth of consciousness; the bandwidth that we call 3rd dimensional reality, but we are seeing and coming to terms with that time and space are creations or emanations of consciousness itself. They are very much like holographic projections we say, as we try to grok what life would be like if we didn’t see time and space as so damn real all the time (pun intended).

This leaves many of us somehow with a feeling of being tied to time and space, like we need to free our consciousness of time-and-space kind of reality processing. We tend to lean towards ‘If only, I could feel myself more outside of time and space…’, as we desire to get on with our consciousness awakening path. After all, amazing things like teleportation, telekinesis and dematerialization are all apparently on the other side of time and space as we perceive them.

This overriding desire to leave the realm of time and space can very helpful, and it can also be a big hindrance.

Initially, this awakening to see the ‘unrealness’ of time and space is essential to see ourselves outside of 3D reality for the souls we are; for the energy we are; for the consciousness we are; for the emanations of infinite love that we are. All very good stuff.

However, in that, there is an inherent tendency to see time and space as what limits us from the heart and soul freedom we long for; what keeps us bound to 3D consciousness. We feel we need to get out beyond time and space to the truer, or deeper reality.

I’m feeling this, this morning, in myself. I feel how more than anything I want to grow. I want to perceive myself and my life and my relationship with every’one’ and every’thing’ in this momentous and measurable flow of growth. So of course the idea of coming free of time and space limited perceptions and soaring into heart and soul reality lands pretty much at the top of my list.

Here’s the kicker though. The two things that are most needed for growth are (you guessed it) nothing else, but TIME and SPACE! Try growing a few vegetables successfully without time and space!

What a pretzel. I want to get free of time and space so I can grow??? It doesn’t work that way.

So what’s really going on here?

Consciousness itself gave us time and space as its own emanation. It didn’t give us something we don’t need. We need time and space for our growth. The problem is not with time and space, but instead how we have made a god out of time and space, rather than revere the source of time and space; consciousness itself.

So how could this be different…on a practical level?

In every space and at all times, see if you can more and more turn your awareness to awareness itself. When you do this, you are supercharging the intended purpose of time and space, which is growth.

Look at this. It’s really important. Put it in your own words. Frame it within your own experience and reference. Grok it into your sacred world.

When you experience time and space with reverence, you are experiencing the emanations of consciousness itself. When you turn your consciousness in reverence to consciousness itself, you have love looking at love; you have life staring at life; you have God looking on God. And you have all the time and space you can imagine to work this out and into your life as you know it.

Now, you’ve got the quantum version of hydroponic heart and soul growth cooking big time. And the coolest thing is that there isn’t a single time or space where this opportunity is not available to you. It’s as simple as turning your attention.


Now, you’ve just left all the constraints of time and space and fully inhabited them at the same time. Welcome to the God class. You are God enrolled in God 101.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

God 2.0

By Raphael Awen


Why settle for anything less than bliss?

Now we all experience so much less than bliss to varying degrees from one individual to another, from one moment to another…but why settle for it?

You, in your essence, are so much more than what you’ve talked yourself into settling for.

Our essence and our source is pure bliss.  Bliss simply means joy and happiness on a scale that you can hardly stand. Many people equate the afterlife with bliss. But why don’t we equate the present life with bliss?

A a big reason, and it may be the biggest reason, that we deflect bliss from our experience is that we fear non-existence, or better said, we fear the non-experience aspect of the pure bliss state. That probably feels strange at first glance to consider, but if you feel into it, I think you will agree.

We were born out of pure unadulterated bliss. In pure bliss, there is no experiencer to notice, to measure, to desire. Bliss just is bliss. In and of itself, and in its earliest origin, bliss had very limited, if any, experience outside of bliss. Bliss itself, by its very nature came to want to expand its reality base. In others words, bliss grew dissatisfied or bored with itself and it grew lonely. It tired of its ‘oneliness’

Bliss then went on to authorize (it ‘authored’) its first so called ‘other,’ and then decided that it was clearly onto something. You and I, are authorized otherizations of this pure bliss that once was only one, who chose to ‘m-other’ us into a nature of being pure bliss on one hand (birthed from pure bliss) AND on the other hand being pure experience. One became two.

In a very real way, you and I ARE ‘God 2.0’. ‘God 1.0, was the pure bliss, but without experience. God 2.0 is the bliss combined with the ability to experience the bliss.

I know this sounds like pure sacrilege to our powers-that-were conditioned minds. True sacrilege, however, the demeaning of the sacred, is actually declaring the creation to be something less than the creator intend and achieved.

Bliss combined with an experiencer inside of one individuated being, are a level of reality so stunningly high on the charts of reality that we, in our state of normal waking consciousness, simply leave this on file with our higher selves, just off our radar. In our doing orientation to life, we simply don’t know what to do with it. When we feel into our being state however, these deeper realities are right there to feel and be remembered back into.

Now, we can begin to feel this fear of losing our full dynamic of being bliss and experience combined. Like a past life karmic fear playout, we all fear in our deepest subconscious the fear of losing our license, if you will, as separate beings, who can both be as well have experience of bliss. This then leaves us in a deep push-pull relationship to bliss. Bliss is so magical, but it’s true magic is only magic if it can be experienced, or given away. Here now, we begin to feel the depths of the loneliness and boredom of God 1.0. This vastness of feeling, and actually feeling this feeling, is what authorizes us into our deepening God 2.0 versions of ourselves.

This is the key that opens the door back into this awareness – simply feeling. Feeling is the most creative thing about us. Feeling ourselves to be less than we are is what has created our entrenched lived in reality. We must have needed this lesser-than reality in collective consciousness or we wouldn’t have created it. We may look like bumbling idiots at times, but the opposite is true. We give ourselves the experience of being stumbling idiots  in our infinite intelligence as a propulsion generator to aid us in finding our way back to our full essence. Make no mistake, we are not settling for anything less. It’s written into our very DNA.

Bliss is. Bliss is what we born out of. Bliss is what intended us, as God 2.0 beings, to evolve consciousness from bliss alone to bliss in community, to bliss in unfolding experience.

That leaves us in the God-class. That’s a whole heap to let in isn’t it? And it makes total sense to me. I always knew that God would only give us everything it was and is, with nothing held back.

And God did all that on the bet that you and I would eventually, and when the time was fully come, do nothing short of the very same – giving all that we are in our creative essence.

I want more of THAT!

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.


A Preschool Beyond The Mind: Meditations With Kuan Yin Blog Series


By Jelelle Awen

I originally wrote this writing about a visualization visit that I had with Kuan Yin, (a female form of a Bodhisattva or enlightened, ascended teacher) in 2010. I began to experience visualization visits with different faces and energies of the feminine face of God after I received reiki energy healing attunement from a shamanistic healer. The transmission of reiki energy seemed to spark soul access in me related to clear communication and experience of the Divine Feminine. Not channeling, per se, as I remained conscious the whole time. I interacted with four specific faces of the Mother and one of them was Kuan Yin.

Before I began to connect with Kuan Yin in the visceral way that I describe below, I had never read anything about Her even as I had received some sagehood teachings from my former spiritual teacher, who had practiced Zen Buddhism along with many other things. It was later, after I read more about Kuan Yin, that I was touched to feel how I had seemed to authentically experience Her energy and guidance even without knowing much about Her. My experience went beyond what my mind could know to the place where only my heart and soul could access.

I am sharing this piece of writing again because I have very recently begun a renewed surrogacy time with Kuan Yin. I am engaging in daily meditation with her, inviting Her in for visits with me, and receiving Her guidance. My ultimate desire is to feel our union with each other; to feel how I am Her and She is Me. To feel how none of us is separate; no being is higher or lower than the other. I still feel a strong tendency in my soul history to feel I am the student related to such Divine beings, so this will take some practice. The meditation that I am engaging in is one offered by Martin Birrittella in his book, The Field: How To Experience The Field Of Love and it is based on a practice of Hindu saint Chidananda Avadhuta.

In this meditation, you find a quiet place to sit in comfort. Feel your breaths going in and out. On the inhale breath, repeat the mantra, “Ma” and on the exhale breath, the mantra, “Om”. Concentrate on the form of Kuan Yin in front of you or on another face of the Divine Mother.* Have your mind become as still as possible. Feel love and honor in your heart for Kuan Yin. See Her all around you, above, below, and beside you. Visualize that your body is merged with Her body while you continue to repeat the mantra of “Ma Om.”

Touch all parts of your body as you continue to repeat the mantra, feeling yourself connect with Her. Continue to touch your body as you repeat the mantra, over and over with love and trust. Feel how you are Her and She is you. As you walk around the rest of the day, feel your hearts merged and connected to each other.

For me, I also experience a dialogue with Kuan Yin during this process, where she guides me and offers reflections to me before the sense of unionizing begins. She talks more than I do, which suits me just fine.

Below is the experience I previously had with Kuan Yin:

Here is it and I am here. This “it-ness” has been called a “Monday” and each moment has been given a category of a “second” and then a label of a “minute” and “hour” and “date.” These are false to the true reality of the moment as there is no time actually, yet only the arising magic of the Divine exhale and inhale that is the uprising breath of the moment. This naming and categorizing every moment in a linear way is false food to comfort the mind, yet I have eaten this diet of dualistic thought forms my whole life.

I am in preschool again; a preschool that is the real school of life where there are no rules to follow, dualistic concepts to learn, or linear realities to accept. This pre-school is where the beginner’s mind is not educated and conditioned to become an expert in dualistic reality. It is where the beginner’s mind is celebrated and encouraged to become even more childlike and simple and unlearned.

I am guided by Kuan Yin. She tells me to move beyond past associations and we track lovingly my mind’s (led by my false self) wanderings together. We track together my mind’s seemingly obsessive need to connect and associate everything with something else from my past.

“Be in this moment,” she tells me. “Be stillness in this moment.”

This is helpful. I can be stillness again after finding myself wandering off into content and into thoughts that only clutter rather than liberate. She offers me the picture of a very still lake and we are sitting, lotus style, at the shore. Peace, quiet, stillness, depth.

Yet the most helpful to me is her repeatedly saying, “Arise and dissipate.” I see trails and streams of life and energy in these words, which repeated often enough cease to have any meaning at all. Yet, like any mantra used while meditating, they help to give the mind something to occupy itself so the not-mind may be revealed in the spaces in  between the busy thoughts.

I feel a purifying inside. I feel stillness. I feel liberation from the past, and I feel sleepy. I dose all day, in and out of consciousness and not in pure sleep yet somewhere else, somewhere “not here” and yet “not there” either. Repeatedly Kuan Yin asks me if I am ready to learn more and go deeper. She is a kind yet dedicated teacher, making it safer to explore this unknown ground, the one I have always yearned for. Repeatedly, I answer her with a “yes”, surrendering my day to spend in this place of not place.

When I take a walk in the park near my home later that night, the flowers arise. The irises in the garden unfold and wink at me. The birds fly very close, nearly crashing into me, and I feel how somehow I have become more of their substance and more of where and what they are. They do not feel separate from me. They feel more kin than the people busily walking by, people not being but doing, and that is ok. I forget words for things and the things become more alive and miraculous in the forgetting.

Arising and dissipating.

I am in awe of the bigger container and canvas of the Creatrix for which all of life is painted upon. I am in awe of the whiteness backdrop of Her genesis.

This is a gift; this no-place yet all-place place that I am in. I wish for it to last forever even as I am offered that, “forever is as it already is as I am and All That Is is.”

This makes my mind hurt and get confused in a good way.

The next “day” offers different spaces, different challenges, emotional turmoil, yet the feelings and memories and template of the stillness and arising place remain. They hold it all and She holds me, bearing gentle witness to all that arises and dissipates in my journey deeper into myself with Her.

Jelelle Awen is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and co-creator. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life for more information.