by Kalayna Colibri
Perhaps the deepest, most powerful, most emotional and yet also the most spiritual awakening we can have, is to how our self-worth has been measured within.
We were given these measuring tools by a culture fraught with pain and unworthiness. We were led here by caregivers and confidants, mentors and leaders. We were messaged from birth (in this life and other lives too) that our worth is dependent, conditional, finite, and above all, quantifiable. We are told subliminally, unconsciously, that we need to have, be, do, say, many different things that aren’t authentically us in our hearts. We are a species in incredible pain that goes deep. Even if you seem to consciously be choosing to ignore this inside of you, it’s still there. It lingers and pricks. It perks up when the opportunity comes, when it is safe enough to truly awaken to it, feel it, make space for it to continue arising.
It doesn’t matter how often some others may tell you, ‘there is nothing wrong with you’, when there is so much living in the buried basement of your heart’s cries for love, for a connection with All-That-Is, to genuinely feel One again with yourself, with the Divine, with everyone around you. Our separation and abandonment wounding lives fathoms deep inside of us and our parts. It lives and breathes within, it pops up whenever it can, and it does certainly inform your daily experience of life.
To truly find and feel our worth again, we must be willing to feel through the process of it… to be with the parts of us, the pain, the anguish, and the anxiety which all make up our experience of not truly having our worth intact. The fact is that we could never lose our worth… yet to deeply feel it and live from it is a whole other choice that involves feeling what ISN’T it and making room to feel all there is to feel about that.
To be in this process is to slowly begin to come home to yourself in a way you’ve never imagined. And once you get there, you realize that the light was left on for you by your soul and your infinite Divine connection that never left you. YOU truly ARE the love you and your parts have been searching, waiting, aching for. And when this can really be let in, nothing else matters but making sure that you have the things, people, relationships, intentions, that truly reflect this worth and love back to you. It is worth all of the inner-mining and the years of deep-diving within. It is worth it because YOU’RE worth it and the love you are meant to serve is worth it too. ❤
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.