Tag: self worth healing

Birthday Love Exchange Celebration

Published on by Kasha Rokshana2 Comments

by Kalayna Solais

I am still in SO much glow this morning after celebrating my birthday with my beloveds yesterday. Actually, it wasn’t JUST with my beloveds here in the flesh… it was also with all of you who wished me a happy day from your hearts. ❤

Every year, my birthday tends to bring with it a birth canal or even a series of birth canals, in the plural, for me to move through in order to keep becoming the being that I most desire to be, in the relationships I most desire to hold dear, and in the purest energy of service of love possible. Last year, my marriage and longterm relationship with my dearest soulmate so far completed and that whole process was bringing up SO much for me to feel every single day. This year was actually the most celebratory for me, as I wasn’t moving through ‘loss’ so much as deep inner ‘gain’ and feeling how much more capacity I now have to let that IN.

Jelelle reflected to me yesterday that in previous years, it felt like no matter what they ‘gave’ me, for parts of me it was never quite enough. Entitlement on some level was covering over deep unworthiness to let in love. And that’s true. Yet I never felt it as ‘not enough’ coming toward me. I actually distinctly remember feeling that I couldn’t let it in, especially the positive reflections of who I am that my beloveds tried to share with me. Their love couldn’t land because I couldn’t land inside of myself and my parts could barely, even after years of working with them, let ME in, let alone my nearest and dearest.

This year… I’ve been moving more into a flow of letting go and letting be while also letting in. I’ve still needed to set boundaries with others, letting go of explorations and connections so that they can arise again anew someday if they’re meant to, yet the sadness of this is flowing alongside a new sense of inner peace with myself, as I am now, even in all of my learning curves and imperfections. There’s a new conviction about who I am and what I’m here to offer, yet also a softness in my heart that though healthfully protected, remains open and in self-love overflow and compassion towards others that seems to grow every day.

This is new. And while I’m letting in such deep appreciation for myself and my own journey that has led me here, I’m letting in those who I can exchange deep and meaningful love and resonance with more than ever before, knowing that this is really all I need. It’s a tall order relationally to show up for on all sides, but it’s worth it to be in the journey of letting it in, not settling for what isn’t this (yet) and trusting that everything and everyone you need right NOW is with you and within you too. ❤

Thank you to everyone who celebrated with me/us yesterday, in person and in energy. Your hearts all land in mine in big ways.

SO much love,
Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Divine Love Transmission: Dearest Human, You Are MORE…

Published on by Kasha RokshanaLeave a comment

Painting by Mara Friedman: http://www.newmoonvisions.com

by Kalayna Colibri

You are more…
More than the labels assigned to you
and assigned to yourself.
More than the construction of self-image,
the self-perceived reasons to only ever be
“beautiful”, “handsome”, “fit”, “successful”…

Worthy.

By a certain standard only…
held as important by parts of you
that are so much more
than they think they are too.

You are more,
ever more,
not less…
never less.

The Universe
of you
wants you to remember
this…
feel this deeply,
bring this into your everyday,
your walking-around space
and sacred human BEing-ness
that you are always meant to BEcome more of…
the most you could ever imagine
with the least outward effort needed
yet the most profound inward inhabitation.

You already are
STUNNING…
the multi-verse
is struck by you
as you rise up to shine
as the truly human,
deeply beloved
mirror of LOVE
that you ARE.
As part of a powerful collective
WHOLE-li-ness
that joins with you in celebration
of the wonder of the human race
the places where we are growing up
to move into
and the evermore loving dimensions
that open
up more in the consciousness
of all that is ready to perceive
and receive
MORE love…

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Incoming LOVE Energies Reflect Where The Love Needs To Go Within You

Published on by Kasha Rokshana2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

All the love waves coming in from Ascension energies really want to show you is where you aren’t loving yourself or being kind to yourself and your parts… especially the ones in shadow.

All the body reactions, all the resistance to change, all the emotional up and down-swings… all of the thick soupy-ness of your non-resonant relationships… all of this is being shown to you by LOVE itself as a powerful mirror with an equally powerful challenge to start taking the steps to experience your life AS love, starting from within you!

Abuses from inside of you that are reflected outside of you are highlighted so you can feel your need for love and the love you aren’t actually moving inside of you or between you and others. This is a big thing too and can be subtle at first until you realize what’s going on and find the courage to see it, to feel it, and then to make some changes.

You can’t escape the love pouring into you from all sides through these energies, and especially during these times of immense SOULar activity and activations. With every wave comes bliss and joy potential and with every drop of love-water, out must come the not-love-oil stored within, not so blissy or joyful to feel, but always leading you to more love for you and your parts if the readiness is ripe enough to take the journey.

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Ascension Love Energies Invite Healing Of Contention In Our Parts And Metasoul Aspects

Published on by Kasha Rokshana3 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

The illuminating LOVE waves cascading over us now and always, are shedding light on the knotted places inside. The places that, when touched, send ripples of what have become knee-jerk triggers flowing through our hearts and bodies. Feelings of defeat or a need or contend, feelings of loss or a need to over-compensate for what has been lost, feelings of needing and wanting to “fight” – for revenge, for retribution, in defense, in anxiety – ultimately, out of fear on some level. Contention and the temptation towards it that parts of us and Metasoul Aspects have is the BIG one, it feels like. It has been the main default for when we feel reactions. It’s either time to go to war, or it’s time to hide. And the middle ground doesn’t often get navigated, for even to claim to be a ‘light” or “love warrior” still throws down the gauntlet and invites a battle of some kind.

Love, because it is SO powerful when it’s in its purest, most real form, has the power to elucidate this reactivity and does draw out the desires in parts and Metasoul Aspects to fight in some way, often against it actually, because genuine love is a challenging energy to let in and presses on all of the unworthiness within us. Sometimes we need to walk this out and obviously as a species, human beings have been attached to this sort of play out in conflictual situations for a long time now. We cannot fault or blame the parts of us or others who have embodied this, as we’ve all co-created it in so many layers and sometimes even in subtle ways, and, these parts have NEEDED these energies. Especially in the harsh reality of 3D where there is competition, abuse and violence on MANY levels, socio-pathic ferocity without consideration of its impact, and misguided use of power, so often rooted in an intense need for more self-worth and love within.

At times, contentious energies seem to pop out of us, sometimes unsolicited, sometimes fully invited. These energies and emotions, like any others that come through us in waves, sometimes need to take the floor. Choosing to make space for this, to own it and feel it and get curious about it too, opens to the door to much, much healing on this ground. To the degree that we have contention still brewing inside of us, quite often from part to part or very much alive in a timeline (or many) of our Metasoul Aspects, we will draw it, even look for it, on the outside.  In this incredibly complicated world that has been so violent and painful at times to face and be part of, reclaiming our power IS to go inward and become the loving parent to parts of us that so need a humble adult heart to lean into. We’ve all felt the distrust that arises and the lostness feelings of needing to claw our way up and out of the wells we’ve found ourselves in. Contention has so often been the only way that parts of us could grab onto to help themselves out of the well, often exacerbating the situation instead of resolving it, especially within where the real contention is and has always been…

With these Ascension love codes helping us feel all of this now, comes an invitation to continue feeling our next places and especially where those more contentious triggers within us are still living. We get to be with these energies as they live inside parts and Metasoul Aspects of us and help them find and feel a NEW way that lives in and from true self-love and an overflow of abundant compassion and love from us to the world and back again. This is the way of drawing the new day of the New Earth into our Now, not as an event to wait for, but a reality that emerges from within and contagiously and courageously flows outward.

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Awakening To Your Self-Worth Healing Process Within

Published on by Kasha Rokshana2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

self-hug

Perhaps the deepest, most powerful, most emotional and yet also the most spiritual awakening we can have, is to how our self-worth has been measured within.

We were given these measuring tools by a culture fraught with pain and unworthiness. We were led here by caregivers and confidants, mentors and leaders. We were messaged from birth (in this life and other lives too) that our worth is dependent, conditional, finite, and above all, quantifiable. We are told subliminally, unconsciously, that we need to have, be, do, say, many different things that aren’t authentically us in our hearts. We are a species in incredible pain that goes deep. Even if you seem to consciously be choosing to ignore this inside of you, it’s still there. It lingers and pricks. It perks up when the opportunity comes, when it is safe enough to truly awaken to it, feel it, make space for it to continue arising.

It doesn’t matter how often some others may tell you, ‘there is nothing wrong with you’, when there is so much living in the buried basement of your heart’s cries for love, for a connection with All-That-Is, to genuinely feel One again with yourself, with the Divine, with everyone around you. Our separation and abandonment wounding lives fathoms deep inside of us and our parts. It lives and breathes within, it pops up whenever it can, and it does certainly inform your daily experience of life.

To truly find and feel our worth again, we must be willing to feel through the process of it… to be with the parts of us, the pain, the anguish, and the anxiety which all make up our experience of not truly having our worth intact. The fact is that we could never lose our worth… yet to deeply feel it and live from it is a whole other choice that involves feeling what ISN’T it and making room to feel all there is to feel about that.

To be in this process is to slowly begin to come home to yourself in a way you’ve never imagined. And once you get there, you realize that the light was left on for you by your soul and your infinite Divine connection that never left you. YOU truly ARE the love you and your parts have been searching, waiting, aching for. And when this can really be let in, nothing else matters but making sure that you have the things, people, relationships, intentions, that truly reflect this worth and love back to you. It is worth all of the inner-mining and the years of deep-diving within. It is worth it because YOU’RE worth it and the love you are meant to serve is worth it too. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Parts Of You Need To Be Challenged By Love, With Love

Published on by Kasha Rokshana2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

pic1259

 

There is a part of you that wants to be challenged by love. ‘Challenged’ in the sense of being shown a mirror about who they’ve been and how they’ve operated and how ultimately they have been suffering this whole time. There may be several parts of you that feel this way, actually. They want to look into the mirror held up by love and admit that they are struggling to keep it all together. More and more transparency is happening these days, whether on purpose or quite ‘by accident’, though of course there are no accidents and all is orchestrated either consciously or unconsciously or simply inspite of ourselves (and our parts). There are certain ways in which love hasn’t been able to help you feel the challenge it brings, what it wants to illuminate within you, the strategies it wants you to look at that have kept your authentic self safely tucked away and your truest, most compassionate heart out of reach.

The big soul that you are, of course you’ve had parts of you form in order to protect that bigness and keep it from expressing in the generally unsafe and unsupportive environments you’ve grown up in and lived in and worked in too. These places and faces have supported parts of you, not the authentic you. You HAVE been through a lot, yes. You HAVE felt very challenged at times, yes. And you’ve needed all of these phases in order to grow on different levels. Yet so often these situations have not been held with love and the sort of self-inquiry that wants to reach beyond self-punishment and criticism.

To let in the reality of how parts of you have held life and ‘done’ different aspects of life is to let in that there is so much more love to be felt and flowed with in all areas. So often the biggest, most protective parts of us have been the most ruthless with self and others. And they can be tricky to suss out and separate out from what we’ve always felt to be ‘you’ because they are used to blending in somehow, like chameleons, even in with the rest of the parts that make up your personality as you’ve known and experienced it. For them to actually start letting in love would mean that they are getting ready to give up the ghost and be felt AS separate from you, so they can heal and transmute into higher vibrational energies and rest too. It can feel to these parts like they are being judged when this process starts to happen, as they are being called out for their strategies and ways of being. They may want to run away, but really they are being seen and you are being shown a deep, effective mirror and really the scariest part, is that THIS is what letting in real love feels like… like the ground beneath you is suddenly rumbling and the skies are opening up to let in the illumination of who you’ve been and who you are now wanting most to become.

The magic of the love that awaits you and wants to enter your being through the gateway of your parts and your arising, rebirthing authentic self, is here at your doorstep whenever you feel ready to start letting it in… and once you’ve begun to let it in, the transformation that flows from the inside out will bring you to a place in your life you’ve perhaps only ever dreamed of. This is the reality of deep process… the firewalks and letting go in order to truly let in are all worth it when those mountain peaks of pure love on the inside are reached for the first time.  ❤

Join us this Saturday, Sept 9 @ 11:11 am CST (Mexico City) for a virtual group call introducing the 3D self. This process we offer in SoulFullHeart, helps you feel and differentiate from your 3D, 4D, 5D selves. Getting to know yourself in this way is an amazing and sometimes intense ride, that is well-worth the price of admission… if you’d like to know more about this call, you can visit our Facebook event here: https://www.facebook.com/events/110934986279085/  

You can also check out our website for more information about the process, recordings of past group calls, and/or to sign-up for a free 30min intro with either Raphael Awen or Gabriel Heartman: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Beauty Of Our Messes: Living Life From The Heart

Published on by Kasha RokshanaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

dirtyheart1

Gosh, claiming someone or something can feel like a big leap of faith. It is an agreement to fall in love. It can get to a point where even claiming the next step of the staircase can feel like a lot, like you and your parts know somehow that life as you’ve/they’ve known it is about to change. Some of us are more cautious than others. Some of us dive in head, heart or soul first, no matter the circumstance. There could be a balance here, and yet the whole point, it feels like, is to allow yourself to be ‘out’ of balance. To let something or someone new that’s arising in your life tip you completely sideways and add some new wonder to every fiber of your existence, known or unknown. Parts of us have all sorts of reactions to this and it’s important to feel every one as it arises, paving nothing over, and yet the messiness of it all, even feeling in hindsight what was buried, IS the point! Sometimes our growth edges cannot be planned or deliberately planted, yet stumbled upon. And sometimes this is the only way to find them.

As children, getting messy was easy! It was the way we learned to communicate, the way we learned to play, the way we learned how to BE with others and also with things. We shed tears over broken bones and toys and friendship bonds. Sadly too we also learned how to punish ourselves from the inside and as we learned what was ‘wrong’ and what was ‘right’ we also learned how to judge others for whether or not they followed the ‘rules’ as we learned them. Parts of us or subpersonalities began to form around these traumas, identities and ways of ‘seeing’ ourselves started to develop. We stopped being willing to get messy, sooner or later, for the consequences, which no one could feel us in at the time or offer us heart-centered guidance through, soon became things to avoid, avoid, avoid… it feels like this is when we learned how to stop falling in love, falling on our faces or bums or even our hearts when necessary, whether over a person or a butterfly or puppy, or a flower we just really wanted to run to in order to take it in deeper! We wanted to play, we wanted to learn how to fly, we wanted to experience the whole world with every sense alive in us. AND none of us were born judges or critics or even fanatics… we just WERE.

Our worlds of discovery, uncovering all we wanted to, became answered by knowledge. So many of us eventually began a path of seeking and spirituality in order to find magic in life again, and yet even this has become a place of only seeking knowledge and not actual experience. Not the same experience that falling into and sometimes on top of your heart can offer. It’s not the same as the inherent sense of spirituality we were BORN with, that got snuffed out because we had to go through phases of this. It’s been a tough road of remembrance and so it continues to be sometimes, but this innocence, this heart-centered love of everything, is still there. The healing, the difficulties, the FEELING is all worth it to find this place inside the inside of us again. We are constantly being invited back inward, back to that place where the magic has always been. We can’t return fully to that place where we were as kids, and yet we wouldn’t want to, for all that we’ve gleaned from our life experience has been a gift that’s meant to integrate with this child within, hold it and treasure it too. As we claim each piece of who we are, who we want to be, who we want to be WITH, we find our way back to the pure love we came from, bringing our full treasure chest with us that we always wanted to find as children but needed life to bring it to us.

A childlike claim of the love of discovery, of life, of love itself… the claim of another in romance, the claim of ourselves in pursuit of our deepest healing and experience of self love and reverence and worth… this is all within us and the more we allow in the possibilities of mess but still go IN, the more we seem to grow and the greater our depths of soul and heart seem to BE.

With each firewalk we endure, we find our power again, and realize we never lost it but it was our power that chose it in the first place. With each step into the wilderness, we find that getting lost only means being found in a new way. With each garden bed we till, we make friends with the bugs and learn to love the dirt under our fingernails. And with each fresh beat of our excited hearts, we learn yet again, that even the roughest seas bring us back to the shores of love and the light we’ve always had within. ❤

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

You Are Still Loved

Published on by Kasha RokshanaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

 

be-love

You are still loved….

Even on those days when a feeling of un-importance
overcomes the brightest light
in your heart
and the world seems to keep on turning
despite inner protests to the same…

You are still love.

Even when times of harsh climates within relationships
move across your skies
and a feeling of not being worthy
collapses your ceiling…

You can still love.

Even if that mirror ahead tells a tale
of shadow and darkness
and the you you thought you knew
turns into a serpent of rarest truths unknown…

To move back into the self of this love
that knows this love
that feels how this IS love
is that place where the darkened skies move
into a space of contained wholeness
and held goodness.

The love of this love
is the truest guiding light
and the deepest sinew of a song
calling all back home
to the love
that they always, always ARE.

 

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling Our Relationships And Our Ascension

Published on by Kasha RokshanaLeave a comment

bffddsfb

By Leena Colibri

 

Starting in recent weeks, every night has carried with it an intensity in my heart, energetic field and body. I feel as if I am surrounded. I dream very intense, very real-feeling dreams. I also feel energies moving up and down my body, both on the inside and outside. My sleep is often interrupted as these energies move through and there is a feeling of my bedroom being very full of beings, energetics, shapes, colours, and the imprints of the dreams I’ve been having that feel more like walking something out than anything intangible. I don’t always remember every detail, but I do keep the feeling of it all within me, and quite often, as I do right now, I feel “cleaned out” by morning somehow.

I remember having a dream last night that felt personal and global. I was moving through a romantic relationship that wasn’t deep but for part of me was “enough” simply because he gave me “just” enough attention and affection. I was in the process of leaving the bond because I had plans to move somewhere far away and we knew we wouldn’t be able to continue our relationship. At the last minute though, I wanted to change my mind about leaving, even though my gut and heart both said that I actually wasn’t deeply satisfied by this bond anyways and was actually ready to move on from it. It felt as if I was trying to deny my destiny. When I tried to tell him about changing my mind and wanting to stay with him, he had already detached from me and I was already fading from his life and awareness. Just before I woke up I had been trying desperately to get his attention again. This feels like a pattern I’ve lived out in a few relationships but also, it feels like this is what is happening or about to happen in relationships of all kinds. We are entering a time during our ascension as a species, where relationships of all kinds will be challenged. Letting go with full hearts and appreciation for what was is what’s being asked of us now even as we also learn to be with ourselves in the grief and pain of separation. We can never truly be separate and whatever is real between souls and hearts cannot disappear forever, but not everyone or everything will be able to come with us on our very personal, yet somehow deeply connected, journeys of healing Ascension.

Relationships are a major thing for us as humans. We are meant to be social and for many of us, our hearts consciously long for community and of course, deep romantic love. Each and every tie we have to a person or even a habit or animal or object is something to feel into now as we continue our process of purification and remembering who we really are as part of Infinite Love. There is no end point to the Ascension journey but there seem to be specific markers that guide our way. Feeling any restlessness or doubt in our relationships or maybe even body symptoms when we are around certain people are very strong indicators that we should consider reevaluating and feeling what it is we really want to experience inside relationship with others. Many of us will be challenged with having to move through layers of doubts around our own self-worth and even the beauty of our essence. Letting these doubts surface and making space to feel them is sacred as it aids us in our forward movements that bring us healing and help us move out of 3D consciousness.

There is an invitation that I feel with softness in my heart as I bring this to you. The shifting times we are living in do not promise an easy ride, though they do want us to feel where the letting go is most difficult for us. It often is not a simple process, as I’ve experienced myself. The more aligned we become in relationship to ourselves, however, the easier it is to see and feel what a truly sacred relationship is and we can begin to draw those who are our true soul family and soul mates. Nothing anchors our healing and ascension more than having loving, non-codependent support around us.

 

**

Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com