Raphael Awen

Conspiracy Of Love

Published on November 2, 2017 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

237

By Raphael Awen

Wanna smoke some Wow with me?

Just you and me…okay….., and maybe a few others.

I’ve been drawn to the news story of the release of the classified JFK documents, the files sealed off from the public about the killing of President John F. Kennedy on November 22nd, 1963. The documents we were told needed to be sealed off for reasons of ‘National Security’.

Now, I was a 2 year old when this occurred, and then later in my teens, I learned about it all being controversial, as to the official story and it really never held my interest any further, as it didn’t directly impact my awareness or state of mind. Later in life, it felt quite true to me that ‘they’ killed him, rather than any ‘lone gunman’, another theory also cooked up by ‘them’.

Now, for many of us, and I’d suspect, most of you drawn to my words, that’s old news. You’ve seen a conspiracy in JFK, 911, and more recently the Vegas shootings and it’s kind of all old hat already in some ways. It’s kind of funny, in one way, that we become like the proverbial policeman waving people along ‘nothing to see here folks, just another everyday conspiracy’.

But, (and this is my first but in a list of buts) there’s the whole lot of people for whom this isn’t yet the case, who have yet to awaken from the official denser story line, and their awakening is yet to occur, and the bigger question now is, ‘what will the roll out of their awakening affect on consciousness be, and thus in life as you and I (the self proclaimed awakened) know it?’ Let’s honor that question by not answering it too fully and come back to it later (not to answer it, but to keep asking it).

If we’re out looking for a ‘See, I told you so’ kind of satisfaction, it feels like we may be disappointed as well as blinded to a much larger unfolding.

The JFK story today takes about a few hours on YouTube and it’s quite evident about who did it and why, (and that’s without any recent digestions from the unsealed documents that aren’t available yet) and the official story becomes so astounding, if only for its total absence of credibility and yet we’re left amazed with how the story could have satisfied consciousness for as long as it has. 54 years and counting, though admittedly limping along quite badly.

But # 2. If all ‘they’ wanted to do was to remove an obstacle to their agenda, they could have, just like Kennedy himself said, found Kennedy in church any Sunday morning and killed him there where the lone gunman story would have been far more believable, BUT instead a most elaborate stage was set, involving the height of the American dream, a presidential motorcade in Dallas, Texas, etc., etc. Why? Let’s leave that Question to breathe for a bit too.

This is a piece of the larger wow, dawning on consciousness now, how such a far reaching conspiracy could have been concocted. The story will soon be moving from denying a conspiracy to flaunting the conspiracy into our consciousness for effect, and I feel this is also part of the larger ‘conspiracy’.

Let me introduce a curve ball about now and ask you to see if it can hold water for you. If it can’t, that’s okay, but if it does, then you and I are onto something BIG! and that’s fun and I like fun… 🙂

Love itself has already won, and is the host of all duality. By that, I mean that the polarity of good and evil, or of light and darkness is all part of love. The dark conspiratorial evil that killed JFK, or much worse, that at present today is underneath the now being exposed pedogate and pizzagate realities is a reality already contained inside of love’s boundaries.

How in the hell though could love be playing host to something so horrid, to such unspeakable trauma enacted upon such innocence?

Okay, I know I’m out on a huge limb here, but I’m only asking you to see if this theory can hold water for you, not claiming any absolute truth for us to argue over.

If love has already won, then when our consciousness is drawn to the most abhorrent evil imaginable, we are invited to feel how this is only a part of the duality and polarity that was created within Love itself to attempt to showcase the length and breadth of love. Nothing can or has ever escaped love. Not even the nastiest Nazis no matter how dark and patient their agenda.

Now in our story-creating next trip to the movies, it seems we are writing a story to attempt to make this impression on consciousness; this deeper attempt at coming to terms with love…. That any judgment and punishment we attempt to exact on perpetrators stems from the judgment and punishment we exact upon ourselves. We can’t separate ourselves from judgment any more than we can from love.

There is only one of us inside of a ‘both are true reality’ of individuation inside of that oneness reality. If John Podesta rots in hell for the un-rest of his consciousness, then there is a way that you and I will also be a part of that torment. Only when we are ALL reconciled to the love that we are, are any of us ultimately and experientially reconciled to the love that we are!

So then, the dark side of our duality set us a big stage, back in 1963, 2001, and this year again… All of it inviting us into a wonder world of love that is so grand that any attempt to contain it in words here only produces a headache, the same way any pathetic attempt by darkness or evil could eradicate love.

Darkness or evil are not out to kill love, but rather to get you and I (that is consciousness) to see love. !!!

Okay, so how’s this holding water for you so far? I’m not going to attempt too much further to get you to ‘believe’ this because it’s meant to be felt, not believed. It’s meant to color the heart, not fill the mind, and THAT can only happen when you find the part of you who doesn’t believe any of this shit and wants the devils to pay and rot in hell until kingdom come.

Now the conspiracy has come home to roost and the grand stage of this planet (at least) is seen as a fractal in your own heart….what’s true in the macro is true in the micro.

Love wants to reconcile with you. Love is sending its ambassador to you in the form of the grand stories of our time and the grand story of your life. The victims and villains are all of our creation awaiting a you who can orchestrate their reconciliation based in an already complete and victorious reality called LOVE !

If this is true, then we’re onto a whole new conspiracy of much grander and epic proportions than JFK.

John himself was pretty set on fighting what he felt was evil and hidden, while cutting himself some slack around transparency in regards to his cast of mistresses, all a part of his contribution, offered on the altar of his life story, like yours and mine, where the discrepancies of our integrities and disintegrities alike are all apart of experimenting with coming into love’s light of day where nothing needs to remain hidden!

This includes the Bush’s, the Clintons, and all the trillionaire bloodline families, and any and all off-planet species and their agendas. They are all here dumbstruck by you and the love that you are and are becoming!

We are all awaiting THIS to dawn on consciousness!

Only now does the pain actually stop, and only now does love get to have its way with us!

It stops and starts with you.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

A Part Of Me

Published on October 31, 2017 by Raphael Awen3 Comments

232 Painting by Cianelli Studios

By Raphael Awen

Are you about ready for a serious leap in your emotional and spiritual maturity?…

…Begin to see yourself as a makeup of more than one persona, and then seek to find ways to show up to get to know and feel these aspects of what you call yourself.

This is my truth about the makeup of our being, but I don’t want to pound the pulpit claiming and arguing, but rather invite you to feel into if this feels true for you. If it does, then you’ve just given me the pleasure of being the tour guide showing you your truth, which also happens to be mine!

I don’t know of any other growth or discovery piece that comes close to this huge contextual piece of what we call Partswork. Not only that, but without this piece of CONTEXT, the CONTENT of how you relate to other spiritual and emotional growth steps or practices are called into question.

‘You’ learning to meditate, or to ‘live in the now’, or ‘to live for God’, or getting all jacked up about ‘being a lightworker’ isn’t contextually grounded until you find the differentiated part of you drawn to that practice or way of life and WHY they are drawn to that way of life. A whole new world of magic opens up as a mature growing authentic self comes to intimately know these polarized and very different energies that make up what up till now, you’ve related to as ‘you’.

Until you enter this awareness and unfolding deeper reality of your multifaceted makeup, you are fused with the picture of being a single personality, I call it SPD – single personality disorder, your best explanation for diverging desires is mood swings, or some energies external to you, or astrology, or Ascension, or an illness in the body, etc.; all of it true on one level, but none of it that you can get really get intimate with and take responsibility for, left trapped in SPD land.

SPD is the perfect cover for staying stuck, and easily clung to in the collective until one’s tipping point and choice points come to value their own healing over fitting in; their own true fulfillment as a sacred calling over the false and futile pretense of serving others with a fulfillment you don’t actually possess.

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Tears For Fears

Published on October 28, 2017 by Raphael Awen3 Comments

By Raphael Awen

I was some surprised 2 days ago, to wake up from an afternoon nap feeling blah and admittedly depressed.

As I felt into what the feelings were about, I received only mixed awareness of various factors, as far as my cognitive awareness went.

I had felt into that morning the story of the JFK files release and how that whole story had affected me, feeling the longing inside of me and in the collective for disclosure of the larger real story, beyond JFK. So there was that ache.

There was also an awareness the night before how Jelelle and I had felt into a sexual tension between us and how it related to a Metasoul connection that we’ve been feeling into together. I was able to feel how in this timeline, that a Metasoul of mine (which feels much like what people commonly call a past life, but has more ‘now’ as well as personal 3D correlation affecting one’s life and conscious history), had been living out a karmic debt, and a remorse seeking for rape which he participated in. This felt like a big shift of something affecting me, an archetypal shift and also something huge moving through the collective now too, with all of the #metoo shifts underway.

As I lay there reflecting on all this, my thoughts wandered onto our recent talk and plans about moving back to Canada, and let myself feel the desire to be there after 3 plus years here in Mexico, and then tears started to flow.

The tears started there, then went into feelings of ‘Canada would be great, but not with this ache following me there’. The tears wove into an anger at the suppression of people’s consciousness, and then gratitude for all people, regardless of their consciousness, especially feeling love for myself in times of other phases of consciousness this life, or from other lives.

I felt this Metasoul part feeling abhorred now by his own ambivalent previous approach to raping women. ‘It was sort of like how animals do it’ he said, but you just got another guy to help you out and then you switch places. We could have the women for sale in the markets anytime, but it was the women we couldn’t have that really drew us’ Ghastly stuff, for sure, to my present consciousness, but not so much so to this other consciousness in this other timeline connected through my Metasoul. I felt a finer piece in my own sexual history was about a remorse seeking energy and how this was now resolved by feeling this piece together with an open heart to this Metasoul. (It feels vulnerable rolling this experience out here without putting a bunch of teaching or perspective around it, but it also feels really good to be vulnerable and let it land how and where it will, to whom has ears to hear, and heart to feel)

The tears rolled into an ache to see and feel more about love, about life, about the history of our relationships this life as I felt into several key people from my past who I am no longer in connection with, where while with them, had no reason to see a time where I wouldn’t be together with them. I felt some more heart and soul bruising around this that the divine wanted to touch as the tears flowed from ache, to request, to gratitude, and even how good it felt to just cry.

The house was quiet and a trip to the bathroom a bit later bumped me into Jelelle where we sat down on the couch together and talked about the rawness I was in. It’s is just an amazing thing to have an other really feel your tears and it’s no less amazing somehow no matter how normal it gets. Something digests to have an other feel what you are feeling while you are feeling it.

There was a knock at the door as we were completing and some guys working in the building were here with a tray of cement to patch a hole in the wall and it felt good to shift gears and weave in some repairs.

I went to sleep that night digesting a bit more with Jelelle feeling that familiar slight headache you get from having had a big cry.

I can’t detail any better what this cry was about and why, or quantify just what moved, but in the morning, there was a notable feeling of the world feeling brighter and more magical. I felt invited to just share this experience without putting a bunch of teaching around it, let myself be seen, for who I am and for what I want with others, with life and with love…

I am a teacher, and I am a builder of commUNITY, but underneath any and all of that, I am a heart and soul consciousness doing a human life, in more than one dimension, and getting to cry when you just need to curl up and cry is a beautiful thing, and not being able to explain it too well, to the linear mind is even better…

I heartily recommend it.

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Mediocre Manhood

Published on October 27, 2017 by Raphael Awen2 Comments

226

By Raphael Awen

Escaping mediocre manhood will require awareness of how you are showing up as man, what isn’t working for you, the humility to admit it and the choice to seek something more.

How each of us as men have become the man we are has so much to do with the patterns of manhood that we were shown. These patterns were ingrained into us going to the heart of our being.

The word ‘pattern’ is from the same original word for the words; father; papa and patriarch. Our father is literally our pattern, our ‘patron’ Saint, our admission into the ‘patriarchy’. Each of us as men is running a kind of emotional operating system that came to us via our fathers. Our father got it from his father, and so on and on.

These patterns also exist in us also through meta-soul aspects that we are connected to, from other lifetimes. These archetypal records are like music record albums that are then played on us as the record players, or to be more up to date, like mp3 files that we download and play, but are not actually expressions of our higher self, but rather energies that our higher self is drawing to our attention for resolve.

It is only as the contents of all this,…let’s call it our EOS (Emotional Operating System) become conscious and brought up into our awareness, that we can even begin to move out of mediocrity in our manhood.

This alone is a big step.

Many men have a weird codependent relationship between them as men whereby they agree not to speak any ‘negativity’ towards their fathers. What this really is, is an agreement to keep the patriarchy intact from generation to generation. Only as you refuse to participate in the insanity will you find a beginning ground to leave the insanity. This means you’re going to have get critical about dad and his pattern as it lives in you. You don’t need to be nasty about it. You don’t need to dwell here any longer than you do, but you can’t escape owning this arising awareness. Your critique will need to be honest enough and vocal enough to exit the insanity.

You don’t owe your dad a thing, and an emotionally healthy dad doesn’t expect a thing in return for his role and years as a father. Now, after this healthy completion of the childhood phase, dad and son can go on to forge a new relationship with the old one completing.

Only now, after this death and rebirth, can new patterns be explored and come to be a part of a new EOS.

Men want more. It’s in them at their very core. Exploring this more will be finding, feeling and healing the aspects of your EOS that no longer serve your most authentic version of yourself arising.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

If Life Is Anything, It’s A Journey

Published on October 25, 2017 by Raphael Awen2 Comments

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By Raphael Awen

If life is anything, it’s a journey. An exciting and epic journey.
But why doesn’t it feel that way so much of the time for so many of us?

It’s because parts of us have worked so hard to isolate us from the journey that life is, working to tame it and make it manageable, predictable and safe. These parts of us can’t remove us from the movements of birth, childhood, young adult and middle age and old age, but if they can just keep it the safest possible within these uncontrollables, they will gladly settle for that.

But, these aren’t the only parts of us. There are others longing for change and adventure, who feel like they are dying on the vine in the small carefully arranged life we’ve set up, that feels so set in stone.

Fused to these very different parts of us, we are managing a civil war inside of us, all the while seeking to remain functional on the outside and holding a self image intact to our world around us. A longing dream comes up to take a couple years and travel, and we end up settling for a 2 week all inclusive vacation paid for on a credit card. ‘How was it?’ our friends ask when we return, expecting nothing more than a polite answer to their polite question.

Why can’t we seem to access anything different? Well, if you are genuinely asking that question, you need to get ready, because you are beginning to access something different. If you are willing to hold that question as a quest, you will make conscious the journey that your life is.

Getting to know these very different parts inside of us and why they are disposed the way they are is an incredible journey in itself. It is in fact, the real journey. It is a journey that will require a journal for sure to digest and record the experience. This journey inward to deep self-love and self-reconciliation is the way of life that SoulFullHeart offers.

I’d like to take you to feeling one more piece today. You as a soul ARE a journey. You aren’t actually seeking a journey like you may think you are. You are on an epic journey right now. Even if part of you manages to keep you isolated and involved in as little change as possible for your entire life, you are still in and on this epic journey. If you are willing to feel this, that feeling space that you create and the intensity of feeling it will create in you the guidance you seek and need to feel, as to what path to take to undo the set-in-stone life you’ve set up for yourself so far.

The bigger context of life for all of us collectively is changing at lightning speeds in these recent years. People feeling this tend to either attempt hunkering down deeper into their set-in-stone approach, or they see that this tsunami of change must be flowed with. They make it a conscious feeling to feel all there is to feel around life change, desire and the internal unresolved conflicts coming from each of the beloved parts of themselves.
You don’t need to be in control. You don’t need a bullet proof plan. You don’t need another self-help program. You only need to be willing to feel.

I’d like to help you with that if that is something that calls deeply to you, if you know that feeling is the journey you are on. Hang around, get to know and reach out to us here in the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.

(original post from last year, other things called than the morning writing so I felt to share this one… )

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Showing Up For Life

Published on October 22, 2017 by Raphael Awen2 Comments

209

By Raphael Awen

In too much stability, we long for change and surprise. In too much instability, we look for handrails and some steadying support.

Underneath both is a deeper fear of harm or loss, just by different means.

Our souls and our creative powers will create both times of deep upheaval as well as times where no change is in sight. Both are needed in this journey through duality and time that we chose and created.

It’s kind of like trying a scary sport or travel to a foreign country. You want the thrill and the adventure, the pushing out of the comfort zone, just not too far. Each of us has a different ‘too far’, but we all have one. That too far is about our fear of losing being, our fear losing access to love.

Very few of us though have gotten anywhere close to feeling this naked fear face to face, though it lives in every one of us. This fear is one of our most common denominators of what it means to be human, maybe even ‘the’ most.

But we settle for lesser fears as placeholders in our consciousness as a way to avoid confronting this dragon. Fears about money, health, social connection all make really good distractions that leave us in an uncomfortable comfort zone, not too hot, but not too cold. It works for us while it does, even impressively so, until it simply runs its sacred course, until we have garnered the courage to let go of this familiar family of lesser fears, to re-enter life with less conditions, being born again, as it were, into entirely new vulnerabilities.

To come to feel that the content of our conscious anxieties, and what gets us out of bed in the mornings, is being driven by something deeper and unconscious is not a welcome thought, or even a likely thought during the phase of our happy well adjusted functionality and having it all together or even somewhat together. It is only when and as this phase is coming to a close and we feel that something deeper in our unconscious has us on an autopilot mode, albeit a loving one, but a mode nonetheless that we will need to get to know and feel or we will be left in a deep disconnect….as we are losing and mourning our previous way of being in life, our previous way of relating to life, the previous gas in our tank is evaporating.

What greater gift could life give you, but deepening connection with coming home to your own heart? Your days of paying rent or a mortgage on a home you don’t fully own are coming to a close. This is your home in the universe, and you’ve earned it, and no one and no thing can take it from you, as this deed of self-love is not subject to any kind of theft or deterioration. This is the true treasure stored up in heaven that our god pursuits were in search of. We wanted and needed a secure enough setting within which we could feel and heal this dragon of our deeper fears at the core of our being, a gymnasium designed to exorcise, feel and heal fear, an auditorium in which our primal screams could be heard and land in open and healed hearts.

All of our current and intermingled dramas have led us to this epic point of the story, that we are nothing but love, but we needed the journey of being convinced otherwise and then re-awakening to what we always were, never actually lost; as a way to activate a deeper reality of this love that we are, now awakened through both the dual and the non-dual, through the sorrow of loss and the joy of rediscovery.

Your life, as crazy as it may feel at times, is a super intelligent life, finding its own way, taking its own unimaginable risks as it knows it possesses stuff it can never lose, no matter how hard it may seem to try.

You can’t actually escape love. It is what you are. You just needed to come to terms with it. Being love is not the same as being in a relationship with love. It’s the relationship that is unfolding now… that life is asking now to show up for.

This is what has really got you out of bed this morning…for both the life you currently know and the one that lives in your dreams!

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All Reality Is Made Up

Published on October 21, 2017 by Raphael Awen5 Comments

205

By Raphael Awen

‘You can make anything out of anything.’

These words come to me this morning and my curiosity asks for more as I feel a download from my higher self wanting to come through:

‘Any created thing created in any dimension contains within it an energetic blueprint of the source materials and technology used to create the thing. It can be back engineered as you say. However, you don’t need to create the thing in the dimension it was created inside of. By that I mean, you can create it from a higher level of consciousness without going through 3D creation processes that you are more familiar with.’

I listen in with a deepening sense of curiosity along with an ache to experience what I’m being given.

‘A woodworker sees something made out of wood that he has never seen before and given his understanding of working wood, he is able to recreate the thing from his place of familiarity. From a higher dimensional place however, everything is made of energy, and everything IS energy, including energy itself.

‘As you become more and more familiar with energy, you can utilize higher dimensional awareness of being as an energy worker to create and fashion with energy, be it the energy of a simple wooden spoon, to something more complex as a computer, to things beyond not yet known in common collective consciousness.’

I’m reminded yesterday as I needed some longer screws to put up some shelves, how cool it would have been to have ‘energy worked’ them into being rather than the more familiar trip to the hardware store to purchase the ones created and made through 3D channels. My guidance continues:

‘The reverence you have for 3D means and methods is what makes them feel real to you and this is how you have gone on to assimilate them into an unquestioned view of reality. But this ‘is what it is’ is what it is because it was caused into being in a stunning movement of energy creation, albeit one that has been normalized into normal waking consciousness, which surprisingly puts people to sleep to the underlying energetic and creative nature of reality.

‘Reality as you know it is always made up. You have been conditioned to see reality as something outside of it having been made up, as something outside of creation itself, however everything in every dimension is created and is constantly being re-created.

You have an emotional reluctance however to see and feel this as it feels insecure to feel how fleeting life feels as you are this fleeting and changing life energy. This reluctance energizes a resistance for you of seeing, feeling and participating more consciously in this higher dimensional ability to create and recreate.

‘Now, I will ask you to open your mind a bit more and feel how a woodworker, has many tools and methods for working wood, so an energy worker has many means and methods for working energy. The woodworker intuitively knows grain, pressure, species, soundness, hardness, softness, how the wood responds, how it can and cannot be tooled successfully for the desired purpose, and with what tools. In short, he or she learns the will of the wood, and feels what it is wanting to become. It can be reverently done as a one of a kind piece created by a master and it can be irreverently mass produced and monetized in a factory, (but at a significant loss of quality and corresponding imputed value).

‘So it is with an energy worker. He or she is introduced to the world of energy and begins to gain some of his or her very first and initial insights into energy the same way a baby picks up and waves a stick, not yet knowing anything by name, but only by its energy. From there, new insights and familiarities are then also normalized into ‘reality’ that wasn’t there before. The stick hurts when used to hit or poke…ouch, noted. That can be a helpful thing or not so helpful…noted.

Energy is the upstream nature of all reality. And love is the upstream nature of all energy. Both love and energy are responsive to love and energy and in this way can be worked, but only when it is seen, noted and revered for what it is, to know and feel it’s deeper why and will.

‘You are nearing a time when great advancements that have been held back from collective consciousness will be revealed. Understanding and feeling what I shared with you above will greatly aid you and others to assimilate your own adaptation and participation into this new and infinite dimension of creation.

‘Love itself wants to take you on a grand tour of stunning discovery and almost more excitement that you can bear, but only if it’s not an imposition on your creative will. Your choice and curiosity are the energy that enrolls you into this university’s kindergarten of never ending discovery.’

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Sexual Safety

Published on October 21, 2017 by Raphael Awen1 Comment

204

By Raphael Awen

The real safety built into sex is that the more it is forced or manipulated, the less it yields its beauty and bounty.

A woman held down and raped has had a deep violating traumatic experience, the likes of which are hard to feel, but she has not had the garden of her virginity taken from her, or however else we might describe her sexual beauty. She has been traumatized deeply and that will affect how she relates to her sexuality, but her inner magic and beauty could never be even gotten close to with such a violent act.

The sad thing then is that perpetrators who force themselves on victims are completely sexually un-initiated. They are left to their sexual addictions and acting out, but they never actually gain what they long for on a deeper level. This is the deeper attempted victimization that occurs in sexual attack by an aggressor, or a game playing manipulator; it is the offloading of an energetic tirade that screams ‘if I can’t truly have and know sex, then neither can you!’

The key here in having dialled up such a traumatic experience as a soul will be your relationship with the experience and your response to it. Yes, from a 3D level, you were victimized. But from a 4D relationship to life and beyond, nothing occurs to us that we didn’t agree to, and even chose, as a soul for our growth and learning.

Both the victims, while they hold themselves as only a victim, and the perpetrators are left yearning outside of the true garden of sexual bounty and magic.

The alchemy of this yearning is asking you to come back to a deep place of love for your sexual being, the likes of which can only be accessed through the noblest of intentions and the truest of desires!

Your sexual goodness is so magical and beautiful, it can be looked upon and yearned for, but it can never be taken from you.

If you’ve played the role of victim or of the perpetrator, you get to decide what your response (your response-ability) to the situation is, and fully pursue all the sexual goodness you were meant to know and experience and radiate out to the world.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Ahead Of The Pack And Lonely

Published on October 19, 2017 by Raphael Awen5 Comments

By Raphael Awen

The point of all drama is to raise consciousness. The point of all consciousness is love.

The inherent challenge though is that once consciousness is raised, it divests of the drama, having received the intended awakening to love and a deep loneliness or emptiness can be left in its place if the love is not rooted and shared somehow.

The content of the drama, the agreed culture, the values, the energy flow, the challenges, the victories, the stories, the camaraderie, all of it provided meaning and purpose and it seemed like there would be no end in sight, like it could hold you for a lifetime, if not many lifetimes.

So then where did all the drama take you? What did all the drama achieve? Was the world changed? Or are people out trying to reinvent the wheel, oblivious that you and probably many others have already ‘been there, done that’? Why is the same drama out being re-lived, so seemingly pointlessly?

What if you were the only being, out of the many who filled the theatre that day, that lifetime, who could hold the lessons of all that drama?

Would love itself be satisfied if you were the volunteer placeholder to know and feel the love of the universe, the love of self, that was intended for the many, but was committed to you for safekeeping, until such time as it could flow out to the many?

What would this hyper concentration of love look and feel like radiating out through you in the midst of its lack and absence, towards those who are the rightful inheritors of it?

You are the saviour of your world. Your light is thee light. Your love for your own darkness is maybe the brightest light possible for any to see or feel or take in.

Can you love yourself in the midst of your loneliness, for arriving ahead of the pack? Can you see yourself as Jesus did when he said: ‘I go to prepare a place for you’? What place are you preparing for the many who live inside of you and outside of you? What gardens are you preparing and planting for true beauty to be seen and known and digested inside of its gates?…

…As you live into new dramas honouring all the ones you’ve already completed…

I would very much like to receive the love you have to give.

(I wrote this piece this morning as a letter to a new meta-soul connection pressing into my awareness, that resonates with my situation at hand)

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You Are A Non-Dual Awakened Being Experiencing A Dual Awakening

Published on October 17, 2017 by Raphael Awen2 Comments

194

By Raphael Awen

Wanting to know joy without sorrow is natural, but it is also impossible. Joy gets its definition from sorrow, and without sorrow, joy has no meaning or differentiation.

This is the world of duality that we chose to create and enter, and to grow inside of.

Abundance is only amazing in the face of lack. Without the comparative difference, it all simply gets normalized into a bored state of numbness, regardless of how good or bad the point on the continuum is.

At points in our lives, we come to deeply want to know the other side, the one we worked hard to protect and insulate ourselves from. The over-familiarity with one polarity seems to drain the reverence for the goodness of what one has, and we long for an injection of childlike wow and discovery to come back into our experience.

We call this awakening, and we compare it to the sleep of numbness of the over saturation of familiarity. We see it being about new values and new relationships with others who feel similar. We see it as better, and so we take steps towards it.

Many would argue against this whole perceived world of duality is the root of our suffering, tossed about in a world of comparing and grading between good, better, and best. We must transcend this tyranny into acceptance of a world without desire and more surrender to being, is the new mantra. Call it a nondual awakening….where you are in bliss but you don’t rate it as such or attach to it somehow, even though you sought after it through rating and attachment. Here again, even the term nonduality must rely on the definition of duality to find meaning, and we find ourselves back at square one.

I am a being who has had an undeniable awakening into the world of duality. I am dual enlightened, dual awakened. I dream of rest from the focus of my duality, and as I do, I can also feel an essence of my being that is nondual awakened. I am already both. My consciousness is going through phases of awareness of both in a larger awakening beyond dual or nondual.

That awakening has something to do with being infinite love as the only resource at source of the all. I already AM this in the fullest sense possible. I am not growing or learning to become this. Essence cannot be added to or taken away from. My experience is all about growing and learning however, as there is universes of discovery awaiting me in an infinite love unfolding reality.

I Am the perfect out improving on perfection. I already have it all even as I set out in search of it. The having and the searching are part of the same. Both are true, and one cannot be downgraded for too long, or we come to futility, our dual enlightenment again showing us the way back to the meaning of our nonduality.

We forgot so that we could be re-membered. We fell so that we could get back up. We surrendered so we could come to true power. We said yes to death so we could truly come to know life.

As I write these words, seeking guidance from my own inner teacher, I am aware of how philosophical these words are, and a part of me asks, ‘so how do I apply all this right now to where I live and feel?’ I detect an angst, a hesitation and a tiredness in its voice.

I pause to be with and feel this question, opening my heart, wanting to make sure that another part of me isn’t coming off tinny or like an answer man.

What comes in response is: ‘My truth is that you baptize all of your life, as you currently know it, including the full range of your experience, even the present angst and frustration as being part of the inescapable holiness and wholeness that you are. You are being invited to live into the feeling of this reality more and more, moment by moment and see where that leads you. There isn’t a fixed outcome, a ‘getting it’, an answer that opens out all the reward, there is you feeling what you want and why, reaching for what you want as you want it, and reporting back to self and other what you are finding and feeling as you do. There is no greater joy or greater service. This is you embodying you; the divine out divining.’

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