Category: Guides

30 Days With My Parts: Day 23 – Presence of Heart

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

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Day 23

Being in presence is an experience that is outside the mind.  When the mind takes its rightful place, you are free to be in flow of your essence.  There is no positioning or postulating.  That is the false self doing mind work that is grounded in personal wounding and social conditioning.  When that is healed, you begin to feel your way in each moment.  Then you are on sacred ground.

Christopher:  Good morning, Mother.

Mother:  Good morning, my beloved son.  How are you this sacred moment?

C:  That is a beautiful way of putting it…’this sacred moment’.

M:  One day you will experience how all moments are sacred, this one in particular.

C:  Feels like that is getting back to being in the presence of presence in the present.

M:  A little philosophical, don’t you feel?

C:  Yeah.  Not very heart-based.  Trying to be fancy.

M:  There is truth in what you say, but it is only real when you feel it.  Do you feel the presence of presence in the present?

C:  I don’t know.  If I did, I guess I would know.  Or maybe I wouldn’t.  I am confused now.

M:  That means you are not trying too hard to ‘figure’ it out.  Being in presence is an experience that is outside the mind.  When the mind takes its rightful place, you are free to be in flow of your essence.  There is no positioning or postulating.  That is the false self doing mind work that is grounded in personal wounding and social conditioning.  When that is healed, you begin to feel your way in each moment.  Then you are on sacred ground.

C:  Not a lot of that in the city.  I could feel my heart in the beginning and then as time goes on it is hard to maintain that being surrounded by the matrix of mind that is a city.

M:  That is not easy when you are in the process of deconstructing the false self which is used to the mind matrix.  You begin to ‘forget’ who you are.

C:  Yeah, totally.  Well, I didn’t forget as much as I could feel an energetic reaction.  I am glad Kathleen is getting herself out of that.

M:  As am I, Christopher.  I wish everyone had the emotional consciousness to ‘get out’.  And by that I don’t mean physically.  I mean emotionally.  That may require leaving physically at some point, but just to get out of the trap they find themselves in.  A self imposed exile of the heart.  I can feel those that are trying to help in a big city, but they are not helping themselves and therefore just adding to the paintrix.

C:  Wow!  That is a good one, Mother.  The Paintrix.  I mean, in terms of words.  Not good in regards to the emotion of it.

M:  I know what you meant.  It is sad, but true.  The Paintrix of Mind can only be healed from the inside of each individual heart and that is a sovereign choice.  One can try and help others to feel and heal, but only when it is a choice made by the soul itself.   You must heal your heart in an environment that is conducive to healing.

C:  …and get back to Presence of Heart.

M:  Yes.

C:  Thank you for that Mother.  I really want to feel more Presence of Heart.  This weaves in perfectly with where I originally wanted to go.

M:  I took you off course again?  Hmmm…

C:  Lol!  Yeah.  I am getting used to that.  You asked me how I was and that reminded me of an exchange I had with a Tibetan shop keeper around how in this North American culture we ask that question without really feeling it.  And then that took me to how that is a symptom of our lack of relationality, and then I felt my own lack in that.

M:  Okay.  So how does that weave in with what we started about?

C:  I feel like with presence of heart comes relationality.  When someone asks how I am, I feel like just telling them the truth and see what happens, rather than “fine thanks, and you?”.  It is more relational.  They may not care, but at least I am not continuing the cycle of blah, blah, blah.

M:  Sounds like a good practice to me.  A part of you may have a reaction to that, so I would negotiate with him.

C:  Feels like Simon has a hard time being relational.  I can feel him wanting to try and be relational but it feels forced and managed.  When among people the perception management kicks in and I fall into usual phrases.  This a place for me to lead and feel Simon.

M:  Being in the presence of heart will help you to lead that.  Ask yourself what you are feeling every so often to practice this.  Just be aware of yourself around others and journal with Simon about anything that triggers him.  The more that you can be relational, the more that others can receive your true heart and love.  And that is no small thing, my dear Christopher and Simon.  Others need it, desire it, and long for it.  As do you.

C:  Thank you, Mother.  I am letting that in.  Time to go be relational.

M:  I will be with you my beloved son.

C:   : )

My name is Christopher Tydeman and I’ve been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life since March, 2012. I am a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and I hosted the SoulFullHeart Experience Radio Show. I was invited by Jillian and Wayne Vriend, co-creators of SoulFullHeart, to begin my own 90 day outing. In the next 90 days, I will be vulnerably sharing my SoulFullHeart process publicly. It will include journaling from one or more of my parts, my daemon, the Divine Mother, or all of them in one big group love fest. You will meet Simon, who is my self-image part or prime monarch; Nathaniel, who is an aspect of my Daemon; Angela, who is my newly arising feminine part; and Peter, who is my magical child. I will not be sharing anything they do not want to share, or I may process with them until they feel comfortable. This is a healing crucible for me, but also a look into the inner world of this way of life called SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.

To My SoulFullHearts

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

light at end of tunnel

To My SoulFullHearts

To make a sound through the din

How much energy and love do we need to make this sound?

Maybe it’s alive on its own

And it’s actually in the quiet

That it can finally be heard

Maybe there’s no sound we could make

And it just is

And hearts have to want it and find us and find it was in themselves all along

The echoes of old paradigms are strong and yet the walls they are echoing off are crumbling

When the echoes have died

Their hearts will be revealed

And there will be revolt and revolution, bloody at best

But dark and sinister as it could be

There is light at the end of the tunnel

and love as a tourniquet

Those who ask for the bandages

will realize She was there holding them all along.

 

Being Vulnerably On The Altar Of Our Humanity And Our Divinity

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

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By Wayne Vriend

Recently, part of me was feeling anxiety about money feeling tight, and I could feel initially the background emotional tension around it. This same part of me has also been deeply feeling the very edge of deep change that we are on now in our world, and of course anxiety about how that will affect Jillian and I personally as it plays out.

I connected with this part of me through a journaling dialogue on pen and paper and felt its desire to reach out to the Divine Mother for guidance, I received the following guidance from the Divine Mother to this part of me:

“You must be willing to feel how all of life is vulnerable. Life is powerful, alive, amazing, and also vulnerable. Of course you feel anxiety in life. It is part of life. The stress comes when you are not willing or able to feel that life is vulnerable. You need the freedom to say ‘I feel afraid,’ when you feel that way, and recognize when you do. There are no guarantees. There is fear; there is desire; there is you and there is me.

THAT is why living life with your heart open is so courageous. You feel yourself, instead of medicating over your desires and hopes and fears. You tremble in the arms of me, Mother, if that is what you need to do. You curl up and ache and bawl on the floor if that is what comes. You have your own private and manageable nervous breakdown right there. You are all alone in one way and yet so held and loved, like you’ve never known, and like you cannot ever forget.

Life re-arises and comes back into focus, and even with strength and power, but these are not things you use to medicate the feelings of life’s never ending vulnerability, but instead feel your share in being unalterably on the altar of humanity and Divinity at the same time.”

This part of me felt so relieved and encouraged to feel the aliveness that comes from not suppressing vulnerable feelings and instead embracing them, owning them and making them mine. I have and get to play with power, and creativity, and purpose, but inside of a container of need and dependence and never ending reality of being a beloved child of my Divine parents.

Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.

Living Into Your Dreams

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment
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Photograph taken by Kathleen on the Sunshine Coast, BC

By Kathleen Calder and Itsan (Kathleen’s Daemon)

You won’t dream. Dreaming is scary to you. It allows for you to imagine a reality better than the one you are living and better than what the status quo can offer you. Actually admitting that you desire something or someone better means that you are discovering your unhappiness. If you dream but have never lived into your dreams, you have yet to take off the covers and ask for guidance to your next step. You have yet to say “yes” to risk. Nothing in this life is a given. Nothing is a guarantee. Yet, everything is possible. You increase the odds in your favor by believing that you can and by healing towards your desires and even daring to desire in the first place. And feeling the pitfalls and firewalks along the way.

Your life becomes alive when you raise the stakes. When getting what you want matters. When you say “yes” to the next step or call to action. The Divine wants your heart felt dreams to come true, even the ones you haven’t dreamt of yet and always takes you were you need to go if you just say, “yes”.

I want to be a testament to all the dreamers out there. I want to be a pillar of where courage and risk can take you. Look at me. You do not know me or much about my journey yet, but I have come very far. I still struggle at times with allowing the Divine in. It is scary and yet relieving to relinquish control and simply hold your desires as precious and sacred, which they are. All of them. Every single one.

Being part of SoulFullHeart has helped me let in the love I have desired and deserved to have all along. I am still living into my dreams and allowing them to happen.  I am still allowing my new soul mate relationship with Christian to come in fully. Having a love that has moved so much for me, so quickly, is scary to parts of me and yet is what I’ve always dreamt of. Now we’re living together. This is a living into of a dream that I never thought would be possible at this pace. I am in love with a mate I felt in my heart must exist somewhere even though descriptions of him that I had in my heart seemed impossible to ever find. To boot, I was consistently told by other members of my gender and birth family that finding a man like this was impossible.

I can feel my surrogacy with the Divine Mother, especially in the form of Magdalene, is what is helping me to let my mate in. She is helping me heal my relationship to my body, an important crucible for me in this life and a wall that has actually been blocking my mate’s love from coming into me and into my heart and body. For the first time in my life, I can feel my sense of worthiness healing and the more it heals, the more goodness I can let in and the more dreams I can allow to come true.

I can feel the Divine Mother in all of Her forms- Mary, Kuan Yin, Magdalene, and Kali– wanting to go into you and be an energy of fluidity and flow in your life as well as mine. We have only to say, “yes” when She comes knocking at our door offering us our dreams.

Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. 

Message From Mother Mary: Heal Your Inner Wounded Child In My Embrace

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

Mother Mary

By Jillian Vriend

I’ve now shared the messages I received from the four faces of the Divine Mother that I experience connection with: Kuan Yin, Dark Mother-Kali, Magdalene, and Mother Mary. My main way of communicating with them has been through visualization visits, which I feel we are all able to experience and engage with if our hearts are in need, we vulnerably ask for it, and our motives come from that vulnerability. In SoulFullHeart, the connection you develop with your Daemon or soul guardian allows for the frequencies of communication to come through clearer and with less resistance. Through the SoulFullHeart way of life, you heal emotional and spiritual wounds through getting to know aspects of yourself and your Daemon which clear congestions that may block you from hearing and experiencing the Divine for yourself. We offer in SoulFullHeart that we are all sacred human children of the Divine meant to experience, especially the Divine Mother, in a direct, personal, and intimate way that requires no middleman, guru, or priest.

Mother Mary represents the West direction; left and yin side; the cleansing and purifying qualities of Autumn; and the active time before the stillness of winter comes. She wears a light blue cloak and has long, brown hair.  Rather than feeling Mary as literally a virgin as fundamentalist religions portray Her, I have experienced Her as holding the essence of purity and innocence for us so we can feel it as a reflection of our sacred human essence. In Her, I most feel what I call the “Divine Mother”, although all face of the Mother hold frequencies of this. It was with Mary’s support and strength that I have taken needed space in relating with my birth mother. I felt that the degree that I was holding on to a false mother relationship was the degree that I couldn’t let the Divine Mother in at deeper levels. I feel that the Divine Mother calls us to be willing to give up any falseness in our relationships and medicating realities for phases of time that parts of us are clinging to that no longer nourish and serve our growing SFH self.

Mary offers us a possibility and template of our own purity, our Divine child essence, a reclaiming of this essence and our birthright as Her and the Divine Father’s daughter or son. For women, She offers a template of authentic compassion and care, beautiful and comforting love, and a capacity to feel others and ourselves without defensiveness and with healthy protective boundaries in place. For men, She offers a womb of clean motherly love with complete dedication without smothering, a support of male strength and leadership, and an encouragement for the man to embrace his feminine side. Here is a recent message I received from the Mother Mary about 2013 and the state of the world:

You are my children, suffering. I am your mother, weeping.

I open my arms to you. Come inside them and rest your head on my chest. Feel my cloak around you keeping you warm and safe.

I feel how you are hurting and in pain. I’ve felt this for so long inside of you and it hurts me too. I forgive you for this pain even as I offer to you that you can move beyond it. That you can heal beyond it. I do not know if you will and I cannot make you do anything you don’t want to do, nor would I want you to.

Yet, if you could see and feel the world as I do! You can stay in my embrace, just open your heart to feel. That’s it.

I see a man with a gun and I can feel the child inside of him, the wounded son who never felt loved or cared for by his father or mother.

I see a woman lying on her back for money and I can feel the wounded daughter in her who only got attention for her physical appearance.

I see a gang of men raping a woman and I can feel the wound from past lives of both persecuting and being persecuted.

I see a person who hunts without conscience and I can feel the parts of them who feels hunted by life, trapped and unable to change.

I see a company without morals and focused only on profit and I can feel the closed off hearts of the people who run this company, unable to feel themselves or others.

This is some of what I see when I look into the heart of any man or woman. I feel the wounded child inside. The innocent core too. The purity and the goodness that is often buried deep. I feel their sacred humanity that is waiting to bloom. Waiting for water of love, compassion, and feeling.

This is what I see and feel about you, my sacred human children, and this is why I can forgive you for where most of you are now. I forgive, yes, and yet I ache for you to embody what your capacity is. I ache for you to grow up with your childlike innocence intact. I ache for you to feel my arms around you always and not forget anymore that I am there. I ache for you to forgive yourselves, for this life and many lifetimes. I ache for you to heal, to heal with and in love, and to offer healing with love to others too.

You can stay here, in my arms, as long as you need to. I am always here. I cannot and will not leave you, even if you do not let me in or see me or receive me.

I love you and all that you are, even the darkest of sides of you, and I will always and forever,

Your Mother

Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Experiencing Life. To read more about conscious connection with the Divine Mother, In The Arms Of Mother, a book by Jillian Vriend, is available in e-book or the print edition through lulu.com.

Message From Magdalene: Heal The Wounds Of The Past In Order To Live In The Present With Love

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

magdalenebig

Over the next several days, I am going to be sharing messages I received from the four faces of the Divine Mother that I experience connection with: Kuan Yin, Dark Mother-Kali, Magdalene, and Mother Mary. My main way of communicating with them has been through visualization visits, which I feel we are all able to experience and engage with if our hearts are in need, we vulnerably ask for it, and our motives come from that vulnerability.

In SoulFullHeart, the connection you develop with your Daemon or soul guardian allows for the frequencies of communication to come through clearer and with less resistance. Through the SoulFullHeart way of life, you heal emotional and spiritual wounds through getting to know aspects of yourself and your Daemon which clear congestions that may block you from hearing and experiencing the Divine for yourself. We offer in SoulFullHeart that we are all sacred human children of the Divine meant to experience, especially the Divine Mother, in a direct, personal, and intimate way that requires no middleman, guru, or priest.           

Magdalene represents the southern direction. She embodies sisterhood, community, connection, and the healing of feminine competition and envy. She offers that no real separation can exist among women or men as we are all connected in a web for which Earth and nature are inseparable in spirit to us. She wears a deep red cloak and has reddish-blond, curly, long hair. She is the lover, the feminine mate, and the one who celebrates romance. She holds the frequencies of match maker and takes real delight in intimate connections happening between lovers in seemingly random ways. She is summer time love, warmth and heat, and embracing nature and enjoyment of being outdoors. She holds frequencies of pagan practices, Goddess worship, alchemical Christianity (without making the body bad or sinful), earth-based magic, tantric and kundalini forces. She is the female twin of Christ Consciousness and I feel She was the soul mate of Jesus during the lifetime he incarnated here.

​Magdalene is the holder of our past reincarnations on Earth and perhaps in other dimensions as well. She is connected to the web of Oneness, the Akashic records, and the grids over this reality. I feel she also empowers our third eye or sixth chakra development and growth offering us visions, intuitions, pictures, and access to our natural healing capacities. Here is a recent message I received from the Magdalene about 2013 and the state of the world:

My sisters, my brothers! Where have we gone wrong? When did we stop dancing and singing? Some of you still do, but the numbers become fewer and fewer every day.

I do not like being alarming. It is not my nature as much as the others, yet, I am becoming more alarmed with each day that passes. I’ve seen many worlds come and go. Worlds that were as real as yours and then become destroyed, living only on in memory, feeling then only as real as your fairy tales.

I can help you remember these other worlds, learning lessons from the shadows of these civilizations, the ways they destroyed themselves, the ways they were glorious. I offer an experience of the past in order to learn and heal and move on.

What is your past? What is painful about it? Why is it hard to remember? Why do you act like you don’t have any past lives? What is the legacy that you hold?  I want  you to remember and to heal.

There is much congestion and wounding from the past, so much to recover and heal from. The wounds of persecution influence the acts of persecution, both outwardly and inwardly expressed, that happen all over the world today.

The wounds of religious persecution, intolerance, and hatred play out today in holy wars on lands scarred by oil drilling and stained with blood. We need to embrace healing these wounds together and to feel how religious intolerance is a curse of human consciousness which must shift or threaten to collapse and destroy your world.

Love….I want to speak of love now. I want to speak of romantic love between growth mates, lovers united by love and connection, collaborators offering their soul gifts together to the world. I want to speak of sacred friendship between men and women, women and women, men and men. Friendships connected by shared values, deep resonance, authenticity, desire for self and others’ growth.

And, I want to speak of family. True family. Heart family, not birth family. Allegiance to birth family, much like religious intolerance, has led to so many problems and pain! You were born to them, yet you aren’t bond to them for life. Why did you ever think you were? See what can arise if you ask for more, if you bring more of who you are, if you commit to healing yourself and your parts and invite them to do the same. Then your birth family might become your true heart and soul family. And, you will draw your true heart and soul family as you heal and let go of the unhealthy attachments to your birth family.

I want to speak of healing. Healing that is not about curing, but is about experiencing more of your own heart, your soul, your passions, your gifts, your creativity, your song and dance. Healing that frees you from pain and suffering for good and for long lasting. Healing that transforms you from false to authentic, connects you to your essence as a sacred human child.

SoulFullHeart, as offered through Jillian and Wayne, is one way. It is a way that is easier for me to come through and chat with you, which I love to do. But there are others. Find them and let them in your heart and live as you were meant to live. Be who you were meant to be with all your heart, body, and soul.

Love as you were meant to love and the world is saved along with you,

MM

Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Experiencing Life. To read more about conscious connection with the Divine Mother, In The Arms Of Mother, a book by Jillian Vriend, is available in e-book or the print edition through lulu.com. 

Message From Kuan Yin: Be In Stillness and Open Your Heart To Compassion

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

kuan yinsmall

By Jelelle Awen

Over the next several days, I am going to be sharing messages I received from the four faces of the Divine Mother that I experience connection with: Kuan Yin, Dark Mother-Kali, Magdalene, and Mother Mary. My main way of communicating with them has been through visualization visits, which I feel we are all able to experience and engage with if our hearts are in need, we vulnerably ask for it, and our motives are pure. In SoulFullHeart, the connection you develop with your daemon or soul guardian allows for the frequencies of communication to come through clearer and with less resistance. Through the SoulFullHeart way of life, you heal emotional and spiritual wounds through getting to know aspects of yourself and your Daemon which clear congestions that may block you from hearing and experiencing the Divine for yourself. We offer in SoulFullHeart that we are all sacred human children of the Divine meant to experience, especially the Divine Mother, in a direct, personal, and intimate way that requires no middleman, guru, or priest.

Here is a recent message I received from Kuan Yin about 2013 and the state of the world:

Hear me in the stream. Hear me in the water flow. Hear me in the flute. Hear me in the chimes. Or don’t hear me. Just be with me.

This is difficult now. As always. Such a busy world. Busy back and forth. Busy buying and selling. Busying birthing and killing. Busy with things that do not matter. Busy with things that do. Busy with content and not enough context. Busy with superficial and not enough depth.

In all your busy, you do not see or hear or feel or be enough. You are not still enough. If you could be more still, you would feel your own desires. You would feel your blood rushing through. You would hear the beating of your heart. You would remember that you are both real and not real.

In all your busy, you attach to things that are false. Things like time and money. Things like attainment and performance. In your language, things like mortgages, salary raises, investments, and on and on. In any language, these are things that are false and do not exist. Time and money are the biggest falsities and your attachment to their importance holds you captive to them.

To be free is to feel how time is an illusion.

To be free is to feel how money is an illusion.

In all your busy, you attach to your mind and understanding and mental attainment. Your schools and educational systems are little factories for this. The mind is but one filter, and not even the most important one. No, they are all important! But the mind has been made too important. If you can forget the mind in moments, even just for a brief moment, you are free.

In all your busy, you do things that are completely lacking in compassion. You commit acts against each other that are cruel and abusive. You become stuck in apathy and so can’t feel the cries of the world. If you feel the cries of the world, you could weep every second of every day for the state of the world and those suffering within it. Your tears would flow always, as do mine, for all the creatures that suffer in the world with not enough food, not enough water, not enough shelter, not enough respect, not enough safety. With not enough love.

This year is the same as other years, which also do not actually exist. You attach to the beginning of years; you make your resolutions and promises to yourself about your fresh starts. Resolutions are not real, only the desires that are at their roots. Resolutions become more ways to stay busy and then punish yourself when you don’t stay busy enough.

Instead, hear me. Be with me. Be still with me. And see what comes and arises from that. Arise and dissipate with that.

And then, we will see.

We will be. Won’t we?

Jelelle Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Experiencing Life. 

December 21, 2012: Love-Based Beginning, Not Fear-Based Ending

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

lotus_on_water_0By Jillian Vriend

Today, December 21st, 2012, is a significant day. It’s significant for different reasons, depending on who you are asking about it. Some see it as the end, some see it as the beginning. There have been a growing number of people who felt that today was literally going to be the end of the world as we’ve known it. They have been predicting this primarily due to astronomical factors – including a planet that is supposedly four times the size of Earth entering our atmosphere, a sudden planetary alignment, solar flares, and the earth’s axis shifting around – leading to devastating earthquakes, tsunamis, and floods,

These people connect their reasoning (although it seems that there is no scientific evidence to support them) and intuitions to the completion of the long-count Mayan calendar, although many others now suggest that the calendar completing was not about a literal ending, but symbolizes one cycle or phase ending and a new one beginning. People from around the world are visiting areas in Mexico during this time, especially the Yucatan city of Merida, which is close to the Mayan ruins at Chichen Itza, to celebrate this shift into a new era. They are honoring the ushering in of a more enlightened and conscious phase of human evolution, rather than expecting that the end of an old way of being will bring literal death and destruction.

December 21st is also the first day of winter, the winter solstice, and, most notoriously, the shortest day of the year and the official beginning of the winter season. To me, December 21st begins the seasonal influence of Kuan Yin, one of the four faces of the Divine Mother that we feel offer a powerful healing when connected to in an intimate and personal way. The other faces are the Dark Mother or Kali (springtime); Magdalene (summertime); and Mother Mary (Autumn).

Kuan Yin offers an invitation to stillness, reflection, and meditation in whatever forms your soul (through your Daemon) is most comfortable with. I’ve found the deepest connection with Kuan Yin through taking himalayan salt baths, contemplative prayer, conversation, and SoulFullHeart energy healing offered to myself and others. Kuan Yin invites us to embrace a non-violent means of relating to each other, eating vegetarian (or at least feeling where and how the meat you eat has been treated), merciful compassion with boundaries, and straightforward directness with care. We are all in each moment arising and dissipating, so Kuan Yin also teaches us non-attachment to things which do not matter.

I feel that Her energetic presence is particularly strong and available to us right now because of Her commitment to, as her name represents, to “hear the cries of the world.” In Her deep embodiment of compassion for the needy, we are given a template for the force of care and compassion that is needed to move us out of the dark place we are in as a human species in which so much of our kind is in need and suffering. She reminds us of our connection to each other, in an infinite place of Oneness where individual personality is transcended and the spark of divine humanity that lives in us all is palpable, experiential, and deeply remembered.

So, on this significant day, I choose to celebrate with love, as is offered to me by Kuan Yin and the other faces of the Mother, rather than in a place of feeling fear of eventual devastation and destruction. I do feel that we are in a global phoenix cycle, yet that the changes necessary will come at a rate and pace that we can bear and respond to. In the arms of the Mother, we find comfort, mercy, growth, and care. In Her arms, we experience our most profound essence as sacred human reflections of the Divine.

​Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart healing process.

Invitation For 2013 And Beyond: The Urgent Need To Awaken Our Emotional Consciousness

Published on by Jelelle Awen3 Comments

By Jillian Vriend

I felt as if I was holding my breath and my heart during the recent short but deadly conflict between Israel and the reigning Hamas government in Gaza.  As many people have offered, it feels that IF the human race is going to experience another world war that the Middle East is the setting most dangerously ripe and ready for it. I felt my usual feelings during any of the wars that have happened during my lifetime: distress, tension, despair, and a deep sorrow that our human consciousness hasn’t been raised enough to end all killing and violence for good, especially killing and violence that happens in the name of God or to defend a religion (even if that’s not the politically stated reason for the conflict.)

I exhaled with relief, as I imagine many others did worldwide, when a cease fire was reached, although I don’t feel that anyone really believes that ending the bombing symbolizes an actual ending to the contention, distrust, and deep disparity that exists between Israel and the Arabs. With both sides seeming to play victim without taking any real responsibility for their actions, the emotional immaturity and deadly density of their need to be right and to “defend themselves and their way of life” will continue to come at the cost of human lives, sanity and peace for their citizens, and be an energetic vacuum of dark energy on the planet (of which there are many others.)

This situation got me more deeply feeling how we are nearing the end of 2012 and about to enter into 2013, a year that has a deep sense of unknown and transition about it. Overall, the state of human consciousness seems to be a dark one (with admittedly some bright spots) that is asking for a deep shift and rebirth into something new. With Mayan prophecies of the world ending in 2012, it does indeed feel as if the world needs to end. Not literally to end, of course, but much of the way that we as humans relate to ourselves, each other, animals, and the planet is deep and crucial need of change.

This is the message that I (and many others who are sensitive to such things) have been feeling is an urgent one that we have been receiving from especially the Divine Mother aspect of God. The Divine Mother may seem to be an unknown or esoteric thing for you, as so much of our orientation toward God has been in a male form with a patriarchal undertone. For those who become conscious of the Mother as a real and moving presence in their lives, there is a sense that it is Her missing energy and influence that has been a deep root cause of many of our problems. The Mother offers us compassion and invites us to feel compassionately about others, even if we chose not to be in relationship with them. This applies both intimately and globally. The Mother invites us to feel our own innocence; how She experiences us as vulnerably her children; and She reflects to us that our essence is one of purity, curiousity, and joy.

Sometimes the Mother, especially in Her Dark Madonna form, presents us with a phoenix cycle, which is a death-rebirth phase that invites us to let go of something that was no longer serving us and arise anew out of the ashes to more deeply inhabit who we were meant to be. I have felt for awhile that the world is going through a sustained phoenix cycle, with all of the tensions, growing pains, and darkness that such a phase requires. I feel that we are being ushered through this cycle in order to arise out of it with awakening hearts, a more compassionate consciousness, and a deeper intimacy with both Her and the Divine Father. Coming from the place I do, this is the frame that I put this invitation into, yet you could put it into any that works for you to get a deeper sense of the loving yet necessary crucible of growth that we are challenged to inhabit.

We cannot continue on as we have; it’s just not a sustainable, long-term picture that works for any human, animal species, or our planet. The Divine Mother holds that what has been brought out of balance must be put right again. Most of us have become desperately out of balance in our relationships, our emotional maturity, our physical health, our ability to provide for ourselves, our connection to nature and animals, etc. etc.

In SoulFullHeart, we offer that the individual awakening and deepening of your own emotional consciousness is the path to becoming someone who is bettering the situation, not adding to or denying the problems. Emotional consciousness is about becoming aware of your reactions, your choices, your feelings, and your relationships through the lens of parts of you that have been previously only subconscious to you. Making these parts and their reactions an aspect of your everyday reality allows for a much deeper experience of life, including an unearthed desire for authentic intimacy with yourself, with others, and with the Divine. I know that this is a big leap initially to understand, but like any shift in thinking, it takes accepting inside of yourself that something needs to change and how you’ve been currently relating to your life hasn’t been creating the change you most deeply desire (or that the planet needs.) The experience of your parts becomes a quickly growing, self validating one and you need the support of a SFH Facilitator through individual sessions and with others during group weekends for it to really ground in.

As your emotional consciousness deepens and especially as you become aware of your Daemon or Soul Guardian, you begin to experience a much more personal relationship with the Divine which requires no doctrine, church, or middle man to inhabit. It is your birthright as a sacred human and it is through the healing of your soul and emotional wounds that allows it to be claimed.

We feel as more and more people awaken to their emotional consciousness through this process of getting to know their parts, the more possibility and hope grows that things really can shift in the bigger world. One heart opening at a time.

Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more information about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and to find out about our new life assessment session offered over in person or over the phone.

Life As A Divine Playground

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jillian Vriend

So much of our western world and culture is based on a foundation of fitting in, compliance, and coping. Instead of encouragement to express our individuality and take passionate risks to tell our truth and feel our feelings, we are indoctrinated in the school of conformity, suppression, and making nice with others. We are pressed to get an education, find a career, settle down with a spouse, have kids, buy a house, go on vacations, and eventually retire until the day when we leave this earth. This is considered by many people, especially in the western culture, to be a sign of successful inhabitation of being here and so they feel at rest and in joy with their lives, happily settling into a life of busy content and materialistic gain.

Or do they? If this were true, if this “recipe” for happiness were the real food that we need as humans than why do so many, if you dig beneath the surface numbness, have feelings that would contradict this contentment picture? Beneath the surface lurk those “dark” feelings that we don’t like as a society to address and look at. We prefer to medicate them with happy pills, treat them with behavior modification strategies, buy another image-based item to make us feel better, go see another escapist movie to give us the sense that life could be adventurous yet only in our fantasies. Or we have extramarital affairs, use drugs/alcohol/work/religion to numb us to make it through another day, go on vacations to escape from our daily grind reality.

We prefer to get so busy in a linear, achievement-based life that we have no space and time to feel ourselves or anyone else around us. We prefer to bury the desires and aches that are the source of this dissatisfaction. We prefer to relate to our pain and fear on a surface level rather than dig into the depths of ourselves where perhaps terrifyingly dark and messy emotions and memories may dwell. We prefer our violence on the television or to play out in dusty, remote “third world” countries where we can remove ourselves from the action and cheer for our “country” on the sidelines. We prefer to distance ourselves from the tragic and devastating conditions that the majority of our species suffers in.

I’ve been offered and have experienced myself that as sacred human children of the Divine  we are meant to and capable of much more than this flat line existence based on conformity, disconnect, and achievement created by our false self and the many parts that make it up.

The earth is our playground, offering us a denser existence in which to experience ourselves truly embodied in physicality while at the same time connected to our divine essence. Embracing and becoming aware of both our roots and our wings. On this playground, we get to play, experiment, see what works and see what doesn’t. We get to express who we are, each of us being a spark of individuality in expression here while still being connected as One. We get to relish in the joys of being human- making love, eating food, listening to music, falling in love.

On this playground, we’ve been offered the opportunity (if we choose) to explore intimacy with another person who is separate from us, to join with them in sacred union, and to see how undefended and heart open we can become with each other. Parts of us experience hurts and wounds from being separate in this denser reality and also from the reality of our world being set up the way that it is in this current phase of human evolution. Parts of us have these hurts and yet they are a gift too, because the healing of them offers an ongoing adventure into the terrain of ourselves, especially the unknown and undiscovered aspects of ourselves.

This picture of life as a playground, the one that SoulFullHeart offers, is a shift from the mainstream and preferred one of our western culture. And being that, it’s not for everyone as we all are on our own sovereign journeys with our own reasons for being here with our own things to work out. For those of you who do feel a sense of “yes” to the picture of reality that I am offering here, then you also have a sense perhaps that it is not an easy path to follow, and that it is unknown, painful and scary at times.

Yet, we are not meant to do it alone.

Like-minded and -hearted souls will be drawn to join with you on the journey as you are brave enough to ache for what you want, willing to give up the things that may keep you stuck, and risk to be in vulnerable intimacy with yourself (including your parts and their shadow and wounded sides), with others, and with the Divine.

Also, support is always available from the Divine, which aches to experience us relating in a magical and unbound way to the opportunity of life that they have gifted us with. It does not want us to be stuck in boxes, trapped by how we relate to debt or money, slave to time, and in deep pain and frustration that we cannot seem to successfully numb. It does want to help us experience life as It intended us to, learning from us as we learn from It, loving us as we love It, and with It holding us along the way!

Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart healing process.