Birthing Day Of The Higher Heart


Today this body took in its first breath of air 47 Earth years ago. This veiled consciousness began a new journey to experience itself through this body and with those that it came in contact with. This heart began a fresh start seeking the joy and love that the soul itself has been yearning to integrate into Its Now. It is special day to let in from my own personal perspective as it is a day that celebrates a universe within. A day that celebrates all of life.

While everyday is a birthing day as we arise new in every moment in our essence, this day is a reflection of our own personal human story. It is a demarcation of where we have been, where we are now, and where we want to go all in this moment. It is a time where the spotlight shines a bit brighter upon your importance, both with your inner emotional world and to those that surround you. It taking the time to be with yourself and to feel all the parts of you that have worked so hard at this particular life.

Even in the hardest of times our birthdays can highlight the most integral part of our journey and where we are needing and wanting to go despite what other parts of us may feel about that. It is our inner magical child that so much wants to be felt and have expression. It is our own personal Christmas. A christening of our higher self into the body of our humanity. To our wounded parts this is a day to be felt from self to self, and if fortunate enough from self to other in deep resonance.

I take in the blessings that I have been offered and those that I have worked hard for. I am spending the moment in awe of the places in myself that I have been and still desire to go. I feel where I have given light and love to many and received so much in return. I light the candles within and share them with the world, for these candles are eternal and can never be blown out. I open my heart to let in the love from others with humbled gratitude for what they reflect and mean to me.

This day marks another evolution into my Higher Heart. The one that is meant to serve and be served. To love and be loved. To experience and be experienced. I am grateful for all that I have been through for they have lead to this moment of blessing and self-awareness. I am grateful for all of those that are in my life and have made such a huge impact on this particular soul. Thank you to those that have been on this journey with me through my writings and have offered so much love and appreciation.
A special thank you to my SoulFullHeart family for all that they have meant to my growth and re-birthing into the world. Jelelle Awen, for her years of soul mateship and friendship, loving guidance, heart wisdom, and soul awakenings. Raphael Awen for his courageous and loving heart, sacred masculine templating, mentor to my parts, and deep soul brother and friend. Raianna Shai for her soul and heart beauty, joy of being and strength of vulnerability. And to my beloved queen of hearts, Kalayna Colibri, who sends me to worlds forgotten, inspires my creative heart,and encourages my Kings journey. You are my beacon and fire-starter. I love you all dearly and deeply.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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A SoulFullHeart Birthday

By Cristian Tydeman

When I was a kid, my birthday was a day in which, for one 24 hour period, I was the star.  I took center stage and everyone else was my supporting cast.  It felt good to be recognized and acknowledged for just being me.  So much so, that I remember telling people it was my birthday, just to receive those accolades.  A cheesy grin would be painted on my face.  “If it could only be like that every day, for everyone,” says my young Christopher part.  Words of angelic desire, from the lips of a child.

As I got older, the feeling around my birthday was that it was “just another day”.  I appreciated the phone calls, the cards, and the gifts, but somehow the magic just wasn’t there anymore.  Or I just couldn’t let it in.  The focus of the birthday became the number and not the pats on the back and the sweet cards from my daughter.  Somewhere along the way, I didn’t feel I was worth it.  Or at least a part of me didn’t.

This is hitting me pretty hard in the moment.  This feeling that, out of all the days during my life, a part of me couldn’t let in love for that ONE day.  A part of me couldn’t enjoy the beauty and joy around him.  The same letting in that I allowed as a child.  I had become desensitized to my own heart.

But this birthday was different than any other.  Today I let in the love from those that I love the most.  So much so, I found myself crying in the middle of my classroom as I read emails from my new SoulFullHeart family.  My young Christopher, wanting so desperately to be with them and eat cake and ice cream and be sung to.  “No gifts, Cristian, just love, please,” is the only thing he can say with tears in his eyes.

The tears are of longing and ache to be there with them, but also of letting go.  Letting go of the family he used to spend his birthdays with.  The birth family where the birthday memories began.  Yeah, we got cards and a gift from them.  There is love behind them that we acknowledge and are grateful for.  But it is not the “love” that neither I nor he desire.  It is a “love” for an old me.  The sentiment being sent was that “no matter who you are we still love you.”  It seems like a sweet gesture, but that is not good enough anymore.  I am not swayed by guilt anymore.  I want a family who will feel me AND my parts. I want a family who will shower my young Christopher with love and praise.  I want a family who will lovingly challenge us without the bite of criticism, judgment, or faithlessness.  I want a family who I have a common ground with.  A family we can learn from and respect by their own example.  I choose a SoulFullHeart family.

I am grateful for all my birth family provided for me.  They are why I am here, becoming who I am.  I drew them for a reason, and my time with them has been completed, at least for the short term.  If they so choose to go into their own hearts, and heal their own shadow, I would be there greeting them with open arms.  Until then, this may be my last birthday in contact with them.  Hence, the tears.

On the flip side, there is newness.  A re-birth, if you will.  The uncovering and discovering of the REAL me.  The ME that has been repressed and suppressed for far too long.  The ME that is the head of this household I call my SFH Self.  The ME that is the space-holder and lover of all my parts, especially my dearest Christopher.  They have a new father to lean into.  A new family to be supported and guided by.  As for me, I have a new love blossoming and a new NOW to create with her.  I have a rekindled love affair with the Divine in all Her beauty and grace.

Hello everyone.  Today is my first birthday and my name is Cristian.

Note from Jillian: I made this photo collage for Cristian to celebrate the day of his birth and his emerging birth into himself. Seemed appropriate for this post.:)