By Jelelle Awen
What seems to be UP for healing in this now is the distrust that LIVES in parts of us that really have very little reason to trust life, us, others in relationships, or the Divine. This distrust expresses as anxiety, sometimes so acute as to make it difficult to even BE in life and be social with others. Definitely making it challenging to let in and receive love.
Feeling this kind of anxiety is not a ‘disorder’, not something to be medicated with the latest pharma drugs. (same with depression, what is labelled as ‘bipolar’, etc. etc.) This distrust is rooted in the emotional body, the 3D Self aspects such as the Protector who HAD to come in when you were born here and create a shield to protect you from the harsh energies around and surrounding you. This protection was formed, to some degree, out of a distrust that you would actually be safe in 3D if you remained vulnerable, unexposed, innocent, pure…which is highly likely that you wouldn’t have been. This protection couldn’t prevent ALL harm from happening as your soul signed up to grow and to learn. The Protector can feel so guilty about this, like he/she failed you and the precious ones inside you that it feels like it was supposed to protect from all harm. The distrust can come from this place of guilt too. More about the Protector here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
Distrust also stems from existential, soul roots too. Can be deep in the Metasoul timelines and lifetimes where betrayal and persecution and backstabbing are so common. You have Metasoul Aspects that are living these scenarios out in the now (not past at all, not ancient at all.) The energetic karma trauma created from the playouts of this distrust can run deep. It can greatly impact your romantic relationships especially as wounded masculine expressions create ‘no go’ zones related to intimacy, sexuality, and sacred union.
The aspect of your Metasoul that is in charge with guarding and keeping the veils in place until there is enough YOU there to handle the remembering is what we call the Gatekeeper. This Metasoul Aspect often has deep layers of distrust in the Divine especially, who it feels has left it, abandoned it, and given it a near impossible mission to protect you (and the other Metasoul aspects) in difficult densities. Even if you feel a trust in the Divine, this Aspect may not at all, which can be interesting to feel how this polarity lives inside. More about the Gatekeeper here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/gatekeepers
The Divine Feminine is here to hold space for these masculine aspects to begin to rest. To infuse you with feminine compassion for these energies and what they have so vigilantly DONE and BEEN for you. Inner negotiation opens up as you become ambassador to all these aspects of yourself, supported by the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine too. You become loving witness to their distrust, understanding and feeling the reasons why.
Distrust can be moved to trust with love and by love. What previously felt like resistance and fear moves into acceptance and surrender. What was before shut down, now opens UP to receive LOTS more love!
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!
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