Peak Fear: The Uphill Climb Before The Surrender Into Love

by Kalayna Solais

We are living into a big crescendo right now, especially pushed up by the coming Equinox and this trinity of Supermoons. I keep being offered to call this crescendo ‘Peak Fear’ and that’s certainly what it feels like is happening. We are living into a dark time where the rumble of awakening out of 3D slumber and into lower 4D awarenesses is understandably pushing up fear.

The fear though is not so much coming from a need to fear what’s on the outside and how what’s rumbling in the collective will affect you personally. The fear is actually a reaction to what’s been in your personal shadow and is now coming up to be witnessed, felt, and ultimately loved UP. The fear of seeing timelines/lifetimes where your personal Metasoul has been involved in some of the terrible crimes that are actually quite triggering for you in this moment… yet, it’s surfacing because it’s time to not blame others for the state of the world and to begin taking responsibility, finding forgiveness and love inside so that you can feel compassion for what’s happening outside.

This is not an easy process, to really feel through these darker timelines of which your soul has been a part. Yet, we’re all invited to inhabit this sometimes daunting and heavy task with a pace we’re ready for. It feels like opting to go on journeys via Ayahuasca or Peyote or any other methods of inducing these sort of processes could add to the trauma of suddenly being thrust into these timelines of darkness, yet, if this is something you feel drawn to it may be important to go into it this way. The only piece here is to remember to hold self-love around it and to have a self-loving plan for integration and space for processing what you’ve now unearthed.

This whole process of unearthing and remembering could be much more step-by-step and self-lovingly held and paced if you choose to access your Gatekeeper first, who holds the keys to these alternate and other lifetime realities alive and well in your soul. It’s through getting to know them and negotiating with them that you can begin the descent into your inner cave, unveiling the dark and the light in your personal Metasoul. Here is a guided meditation from Jelelle to help you meet this aspect of you and to start the process of getting to know them too:

I personally have not been drawn to the intensity of plant-induced journeys and have preferred the pace of self-negotiated steps facilitated by an open-hearted other who has also been there. Yet, this is what my soul has gravitated towards with having experienced many lifetimes of these induced journeys for the sake of being an oracle, psychic, etc. and may not be what you actually need at this time.

What we’re intending to heal as a collective cannot be healed by pointing fingers. This method of shaming and blaming hasn’t worked yet in our ‘history’ to genuinely change the world we live in and how it operates. We cannot fire guns (figuratively or literally) and expect to find prolonged, sustainable peace, unless the parts of you that are attached to gunfire being the answer are deeply felt and given the love they so desperately want and need.

We cannot continue to ask world leaders to hold and give us the answers when they themselves haven’t gone inward to find what’s really going on inside of themselves or their own souls. More and more leadership is being invited out from inside of you, starting with leading your own explorations into the shadow that continues to be illuminated by what you’re hearing about, reading about, and reacting to on the outside.

The beautiful thing about all of this, is that we aren’t being asked to do it alone. We aren’t actually being asked to go deep into the desert and suffer for our ‘sins’ or find penitence and to strive for forgiveness from outside of us. We are already forgiven. We are already loved, despite it all, because we have needed to walk all of these timelines out for the sake of discovery, learning, growth, and the path back to the love we’ve come from and simply ARE. Now though… now we have the choice about what we want to do with this information and we can choose to be curious instead of fused to the same reality of Peak Fear we’ve been witnessing and perpetuating in different ways.

Much love to you as you feel into whatever your shadow is illuminating for you… I, myself, am curious too about where this exploration will take me next, for there are ALWAYS gifts to integrate from even the darkest of places we must go within and I trust deeply that I will not be the same person (in a really good way) on the other side of each journey inward.

For more info on connecting with one of us for bridging sessions and facilitation to help you become this love ambassador to your own soul, visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Removing An ‘Implant’ With Love

By Kalayna Colibri

I laid on the table my beloveds had set up for our energy healing practice, feeling in my heart that something was getting ready to move. Something emotional and spiritual too that was impacting my physical body as just the day before I was laid up in a deep self care space nursing intense head pain on the right side of my skull. I felt in moments like my skull was being split down the middle or like I had just been bludgeoned in the head. I could feel now that the pain had mostly subsided, some of the more emotional reasons for it could surface and I knew I had the sacred space to let that surface and be felt.

Gabriel saw the object first. He was holding his hands behind my head, giving me his soothing energy that I know so well now… and as he felt into my head pain, through his 3rd eye he saw an object sitting on it. Jelelle contributed then, offering that she saw a visor of some kind. I immediately could see it too and felt the weight of it on my temples. We felt together that it had become somehow more activated on the right side, my masculine side, but was shorting out, hence the pain. I felt how this visor was made of steel, was kind of rusty, had served its original purpose of filtering incoming Ascension codes when I needed it to but that it wasn’t needed any longer and I was now big enough to hold and integrate what wanted to come in.

We invited my Gatekeeper, Seerah, to come forward then. She immediately offered insight, validation, and was fully ready to help remove it, agreeing that it was time to move on without it. Together, Gabriel, Jelelle, Seerah, and I, unlatched it from behind my head and took it off. In that same moment, all of my head pressure was gone. I felt much clearer, lighter, and ready to let in — whatever that could mean going forward.

This object, some would say, was an ‘implant’. We could call it that, because that is essentially what it was, but I don’t relate to implants or objects in our fields or bodies as bad… they have had their purpose and have been there for a reason. Your own 4D Gatekeeper aspect or 3D Inner Protector part of you has kept these objects in place because it was the most loving thing to do. I needed for some reason to temper my own capacity to download the many light and love codes that wanted to come in and integrate, to help me embody them not just know about them in a mental way. I had to be in a place when my Gatekeeper felt it was time and that I was ready for that visor to come off. And so it did… with love and appreciation.

During phases of 4D awakenings and realizing what has been lurking and operating behind the curtain of 3D life (or the ‘Matrix’) often so much fear is understandably stirred up. This fear breeds judgements, a feeling of something being done TO you or parts of you, without consent or freewill choices or even your awareness at all most of the time. It’s intense to wake up to the reality that there are these objects or ‘implants’ in your field that have been influencing or impeding your awakening and in some cases your deepest capacity to heal. Yet the timing of even awakening to them is sacred and comes when it comes, as does the time to remove them. Every time I have removed an object from my field or body, I have felt first the reason it was there… felt the parts of me that have an aversion to it, and still found a way to love it for what it once offered even while loving myself into the next going on phase without it. I’ve found that doing this sort of process this way keeps me from feeling kickback physically or emotionally, as every step to removing the object is felt and held with love, not anguish, anxiety, or fear.

Becoming an ambassador of love even to these things that arise as you continue to heal is practice for the bigger picture of being a love ambassador to the many shadowy pieces inside and in the collective. It’s part of the bigger invitation to keep shifting from fear into love and to continue to feel the release and surrender into love as the bigger container and reason for everything you’ve walked out and been through… even and especially during those times when this feels like the hardest thing to do. ❤️

Much love. ❤️

This photo is of Gabriel and me removing the object, starting from behind my head.

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Meet Your Veil Of Amnesia Guided Meditation – DAY 26: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/ Jelelle Awen (VIDEO)

DAY TWENTY-SIX: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Meet Your Veil Of Amnesia Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen

This is day twenty-six of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. In today’s video, I talk about the veil of amnesia that we have chosen as a soul to put over ourselves to obscure and block our remembering and recall of our soul’s consciousness. We chose this veil in order to fully immerse into the experiment of 3D consciousness that offers further growth and learning for us as we experience it. These veils are permeable, and meant to be temporary as the soul can sovereignly chose at any time and in any lifetime to lift them. The veil of amnesia can relate to the remembering of childhood situations, especially those that were traumatic. Accessing the parts of yourself that are still living out these traumas allows the veil of amnesia to lift on them.

Another aspect of lifting the veil is related to having conscious access to other lifetimes/timelines and the Metasoul sisters/brothers that are living in them. This is more than just getting glimpses of a ‘past life’. It is having conscious interaction and gift exchange with them leading to karmic healing on a quantum level. The other lifting of the veil connects to galactic consciousness awakening and remembering star family and activation of your galactic DNA and genes on a cellular level. This veil is placed by your soul’s choice not to fully remember visits with star family this life and supported by star BEing technologies as well that keep the veil in place as it would be painful for you to be ‘living in two worlds’ as you try to acclimate to 3D life.

In the meditation today, Divine Father and Divine Mother join you to start negotiating with your Inner Protector, who protects and guards the veil of amnesia related to this life traumas, especially during childhood. You connect with your Protector and feel their concerns about lifting the veil, which usually have to do with not feeling like you are ‘ready’. You then go to meet with your Gatekeeper, who protects and guards the veil of amnesia related to galactic awakening and Metasoul timelines/lifetimes. You begin to negotiate with your Gatekeeper to start to lift the veil on these timelines. You then experience your veil of amnesia in whatever shape, form, visual it comes to you and you begin to lift it off of you…showing your desire to remember anything that is ready to be integrated and felt.

Here is a video to meet your Protector, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FzBzK5vgck
Here is a video to meet your Gatekeeper, which you may want to do before this one: https://youtu.be/-IZQYBoE6Cg

Thank you for joining me on this twenty-sixth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects!

 

 

 

Metasoul Timeline/Lifetime Portal Access Guided Meditation – DAY 25: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/ Jelelle Awen (VIDEO)

DAY TWENTY-FIVE: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Metasoul Timeline/Lifetime Portal Access Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen

This is day twenty-five of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. In today’s video, I talk about how to access and heal other lifetimes and timelines that hold karma and trauma. These timelines are ones in which your Metasoul aspects (sisters and brothers) are living out and experiencing in the Now. Rather than seeing them as ‘past lives’, you relate to them as Metasoul sisters and brothers living in the Now that you can have an ongoing relationship with to facilitate deep healing and soul gift exchange openings.

I offer that just ‘dropping into’ a Metasoul timeline (such as what happens in past life regression or soul retrieval) can actually sometimes create more trauma as this experience often remains undigested in this lifetime and in the timeline too. Facilitating for yourself with your Gatekeeper (who is the keeper of access to the timelines) allows you to go into the timeline, establish an ongoing relationship with the Metasoul sister/brother. This ongoing exchange with your Metasoul brother/sister can eventually lead to them choosing to change the traumatic timeline itself. This process opens up quantum healing possibilities for your Metasoul, your Monad/soul family group, and for the collective as a whole.

In the meditation today, Archangel Michael and Sophia/Dark Mother hold space for the exploration into the Gatekeeper realm, which is the portal access to your Metasoul timelines. You connect with your Gatekeeper to establish a bridge to these timelines and to help you lift the veil of amnesia on them. With your Gatekeeper, you enter a portal to a Metasoul timeline that most needs your attention in this Now and meet a Metasoul aspect that lives there.

Here is a video about the Metasoul and access to your akashic records, which can be a good beginning place: https://youtu.be/QOlBc-3-TEg
Here is a video to meet your Gatekeeper, which you may want to do before this one: https://youtu.be/-IZQYBoE6Cg

Thank you for joining me on this twenty-fifth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

 

 

Divine Father Guided Meditation – DAY 13: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE AWEN AND GABRIEL HEARTMAN (VIDEO)

DAY THIRTEEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Connect With Divine Father Guided Meditation W/Gabriel Heartman

This is day thirteen of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, SoulFullHeart Facilitator for men and women Gabriel Heartman joins me. We talk about what we feel is the energy of Divine Father as differentiated from the punitive ‘Him God’ of some religions. Gabriel shares about what he feels the pure loving frequencies of Divine Father offer men in their healing journey and Jelelle offers how the inner feminine (in both men and women) and the masculine in women (such as the Gatekeeper) are served by taking in these energies.

In the meditation today, Gabriel leads you on a journey to connect with five faces of the Divine Father. Yeshua opens his heart and arms to us as a brother to embrace you in his unique way. Siddhartha sits in meditation with you, offering a bridge from his Buddha nature to yours. Archangel Michael offers a template of projection that isn’t about battling, yet about being an ambassador of light to the dark. Archangel Metatron provides a wise, funny, and enlightening energy. And, Father Sky connects you to your Lemurian/native roots and connection with Mother Gaia.

Thank you for joining us on this thirteenth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Lemurian, and other precious parts/aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Meet Your Gatekeeper Guided Meditation – DAY 12: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE AWEN (VIDEO)

DAY TWELVE: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Meet Your Gatekeeper Guided Meditation

This is day twelve of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, we connect with a fourth dimensional aspect of your Metasoul called the Gatekeeper. The Gatekeeper was an aspect that I became aware of about ten years ago. I’ve become clearer about its mission, woundings, and gifts over the years since then and connecting with hundreds of them.

The Gatekeeper is the keeper of the veil of amnesia and watches over all the timeline portals of your Metasoul. They are often very lonely and isolated in this job and feel disconnected from Divine Source. This is an article offering more about the Gatekeeper: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/gatekeepers

In this video, Archangel Michael and Dark Mother join you to go to the Gatekeeper Realm, which is in the lower fourth dimension. You visit the portal cavern (usually) where your Gatekeeper lives. You connect with your Gatekeeper, open up to receive any messages/images from them, and get an overall sense of them. This is a beginning point to a deepening journey with them leading to collaboration, exploration of your Metasoul timelines, and lifting of your veil of amnesia.

Thank you for joining me on this twelfth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

I will be hosting two group sessions over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum donation per session. These will be on THIS Saturday January 12 and February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Lemurian, and other precious parts/aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Seeing The World Through The Eyes Of Your Parts/Metasoul Aspects

Note from Jelelle Awen: This is beautiful writing from Devon, who has been in sessions with me for the last few months. She describes wonderfully what it is like to connect with different aspects of yourself (the Inner Punisher and Gatekeeper esp.) and see/feel your world through their lens. You can viscerally feel the energies of these different aspects of her through the sharing of their experience and poetry too. Go here to read more about these parts/Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

By Devon Heart Star

As I continue the process of parts work that I have dedicated myself to, during the holiday season, it has become clear that my Inner Punisher needs the most undivided attention and love from me, right now. The Inner Punisher is often a masculine energy and working with this part is similar to Shadow Work. This is not work for the faint of heart and I often want to give up! But my Soul or Higher Self has done so much work with me and continues to support me coming more into Love, that it’s truly impossible to quit.

It’s almost like each part of me has its own pair of glasses it gets to put in front of my eyes, and that is how I experience my 3D life, from the emotional eyes of each of these parts’ feelings, depending upon who’s energy has been pushed up for the most immediate attention. Once I learn about each part and actually get to feel them, giving them space from being fused to me or taking over me, powerful relationships, love, and trust, can begin within, with each of them. And this creates the space for my 4D and 5D and beyond Self to begin to emerge or descend or ascend or settle in. It’s all a very personal experience, yet has a commonality for most people drawn to this work. Eventually, I get to know when I am wearing the glasses that my Heart/Higher Self desires to wear; those of love and vulnerability, and I can continue to practice looking at my various parts with those Heart glasses, offering them the love they are longing for from me.

Back to today’s work with my Inner Punisher, Oscar. In a moment of clarity, when he was feeling safe and loved by me, he showed himself as Oscar the Grouch. I thought it was pretty funny and spot-on, so he took the name Oscar, right about the time I was going to see The Grinch movie. Both of them are green monsters who turned their back on love because of the grief they experienced in not receiving the love they so desired as children. Oscar feels safer being able to retreat into his dark can, where he still believes he deserves to be and is safe from making others angry. When he is in full-swing mode, he is the underlying pair of glasses I don’t even know I’m wearing, the voice within that speaks to me harshly, judges myself and others harshly, at times, although that is just another reason to punish himself, and basically sabotages before we can be sabotaged by someone else.

We have another significant part who seems to offer an escape hatch for Oscar when Oscar feels like his monster-self cannot be loved and the pain of that too much to bear. My Gatekeeper, Jonathan, has had a strong place in my world since my teen years, even though most people do not experience their Gatekeeper until they first really dive deep into parts work. I didn’t know him as the Gatekeeper until parts work, but he was working with me all these years, as I traveled to other dimensions and experienced alternate realities, so to speak. The energies from this would, of course, overwhelm me, physically, but I never could seem to stop them. I am still learning about my relationship with Jonathan and about his connection to Oscar, as he offers him portals and worm holes, and massive amounts of information from other timelines when his emotions become too big for this world. Anyway, Jonathan offered up some wisdom (as he is a most excellent timeless wisdom channel) that I wanted to share:

Forgiveness is a ceremony
Not an act
Self-forgiveness is a ritual
Not just a word
Cultivating forgiveness requires darkness
Diving straight into
the darkest canyons
and depths within
It requires a strength that is so soft
it can tread across
the fires of the Heart
with a willingness to burn up in the attempt
Forgiveness is no small act
You’ll have to face parts of you
that you fear most
who will mirror your courage
in their pleading gaze
You’ll need to bring your biggest light
and that divine part of you
who has no fears
Because cultivating self-forgiveness
creates the bridge
for everyone to come home to love

Thank you, Jonathan!

Everyone can relate to experiencing the Inner Punisher energy and the deep desire to heal within. I’ve learned so much and continue this invaluable process with Jelelle Awen, co-creator of and many other amazing titles at SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. You can get one-to-one very full sessions with her or other wonderful facilitators, find out more at soulfullheartwayoflife.com
I love this heart tribe 💜

 

A Bridge To The SOULstice: Return Of The Sol

I have been spelling the word ‘solstice’ with ‘soul’ for obvious reasons. Even feeling to capitalize it to emphasize its importance at this time. When you hear or see that word what comes up for you?

For each of us, it has a slightly different meaning, but overall it encompasses something that feels bigger, deeper, and more expansive than our concept of it suggests. It houses our passions, our essence, our multi-dimensional story. It feels ecstatically beautiful and divinely tortured at the same time.  

I feel this time of year brings us closer to that infinite source of our being. People around the world are celebrating, contemplating, and fighting and dying for it. How we relate to it comes packaged with a cultural lens but underneath it is a deep desire for unity and individual expression and service within it.

I feel that when this sacred time has passed, there can be a depression that enters some of our fields as this emphasis on Soul and Spirit leaves the collective consciousness. It is as if New Earth is at its closest point in its orbit to our hearts and bodies. The question becomes how can we cultivate that more consistently on a daily basis? How do we begin to embody this magic and depth of soul so that it just IS what is without it just becoming normal and typical like we have made 3D?

Connecting to our spiritual body in the form of the Higher Self is a practice. One that needs and desires attention just as much as our hearts, minds, bodies, and loved ones. For some, it is like breathing. For others, it is a challenge and/or resistance. If there is a lot of soul wounding, then the connection to It via what we call the Gatekeeper, can be closed down or limited. This aspect of us that was only ever meant to be a guide, has found itself in a guarded protective stance when it comes to connecting to Source, The Divine, and Star Family.

Going into guided meditation to meet, connect, and relate to this aspect of you is a beginning step in that process. Finding out what Its story is and how it relates to your Soul can illuminate so much about its history and its influence in your daily life. What once felt dark and dreary can become joyous and fruitful. This is what I feel we all long for in our deepest core.

Here is a link to a guided meditation that can be used to meet the Inner Protector that would serve as a starting point in that connection:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ciJIvrn0xA&index=24&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvL3_HIusq0GwJO4ziwlmioz&t=6s

We are a complex and simple story at the same time. Feeling and healing that story is what I feel we are here to do so that we can shine the Light of the Soul upon and into the hearts of the world. This is the journey and birth of the Christ in all of us. The return of the Sol.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Your Inner Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving Day in the US. This day does not have the same energetic impact on me anymore as I am not currently in those grids. BUT, it does bring up a lot of memories and reflections. I know that it is a day for feeling gratitude for all that we have and had. It is good to do that. To have a reminder; to take a breath and just be grateful for it all, even the not-so-good as it can lead us to the healing places where there is more good.

However, there is an authentic gratitude and a false gratitude. One that covers over the truth that parts of us hold about all aspects of our lives from the people we are in relationship to, to our jobs, to our health, or to the circumstances in our life. A part of you may not be so damned thankful. Maybe he/she is frickin’ irritated, hurt, angry, or just plain apathetic to it all. Whatever authentic joy that does exist inside can be neutralized by these parts unless they get a place at the table too.

Yeah. There is a Thanksgiving table inside you. Around it lies all the aspects of you that have all sorts of opinions, truths, reactions, and joys. Your inner child can be relegated to the kid’s table by the parts of you that don’t want to feel certain things from pain to joy. They can be judged and ignored. There is an inner patriarch or matriarch that has it all under control and knows what is best for everyone. There is a protector at the door making damn sure it doesn’t get too out of hand or that no one accidentally slips and tells is like it is. A gatekeeper that is holding the cap on a plethora of metasouls that are popping in and out of consciousness. Wow! This day is full of so many trans-dimensional dynamics! No wonder we just eat like crazy and fall asleep!

I know this is a general and typical representation, but it is a great way to feel what may be happening inside of you on this day and the days to come this holiday season. It is actually the best time to really feel what is real and true inside of you. Making contact with this inner family is the gift that keeps on giving. It leads to the real source of inner peace and gratitude. You get to be the Head of Household and create a new way to celebrate on the inside. Listening, feeling, and holding these parts and making new choices of relationship, vocation, and geography that are more aligned with this healed and more authentic state of being.

To get in touch with these dynamics inside of you that may be creating a lot of stress, anxiety, or depression inside of you this season, all of us at SoulFullHeart are here to hold space and offer a heart-open reflection of the aspects and lives within you. To help bridge to a new world of self-love and self-leadership. I send you much love and blessings on this day and may it be the most real day of them all. That is something to be grateful for.

Painting by K. Amelia Bates

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Life After 11/11/11: Time To Fall And Flow In Love

Falling in Love is probably one of the most triggering experiences we can have. The feeling is not just related to two individuals but it can also be related to a geography, a vocation, a craft, a community, or a perspective. It also doesn’t have to be outbound. It can also about falling in love with yourself. That one feels like it takes a bit of healing to get to as we are so conditioned to loving Other rather than Self.

I feel as if these current codes coming at, in, and through us are advocating for us to fall in love. Just fall. Surrender. Risk, Explore. When we truly “fall”, we are letting go of all that we have been conditioned and taught what Love is supposed to be. We are also confronting all that we have experienced love to be or not be and how we have been hurt by it.

But this fall is not just a reckless abandon. It is a moment-by-moment feeling through. Not so much managed but rather lived into with an open and transparent heart. Connecting with all parts of you that are in fear and joy both. Or fear of joy for that matter. The deepest fear can be of losing it all, being rejected, or losing yourself altogether in oblivion.

I write this as I continue to check in with myself and my emotional body. Doing a spiral scan that is seeking deeper ground with my heart and soul. I can feel the edges of my next steps both in regards to outer leadership, romantic relationship, and deep self-love. I feel the part of me, my Gatekeeper/Protector, that is so very much confused and uncertain about this “falling”. It feels existential and alive at the same moment. Like standing at the edge of a giant orgasm that could swallow you whole. Fear and ecstasy both. What does it truly mean to “fall in love”, especially with yourself that gets to overflow into and for others?

This is beyond egotistical selfish vanity. This is a deep meeting of yourself in a way that is like meeting your favorite star, heartthrob, soulmate, and guru all in one package…and its YOU! What the hell? It is also surrounding yourself with those that see that very thing and honor it deeply as they honor themselves. You are doing “work” that can only be described as “Love In Action”. This feels like daily life in 5D. It is moving from Falling In Love to Flowing With Love. Yum….

But it takes some deep healing and inner work to get there. It is why we are here. It is part of our DNA to do this work (more on that later). What does falling/flowing in love look and feel like to you? Where does it get constricted by fear and doubt? How can we get to a place where the greatest love of all is truly inside of us? Feel all the parts of you that need love and that is a good place to start.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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