By  Raphael Awen

It feels so apparent to me that our appetites, needs and desires are the key factor in our growth, learning, evolution as well as our fulfillment.

But the hard part is that it is these same appetites, needs and desires are very intertwined with our pain, our suffering and our addictions.

It may well be that were it not for appetites, needs and desires, there wouldn’t be any suffering. That seems to be the conclusion of many spiritualities. Religions as well offer various ways of dealing with this dilemma and dichotomy.

I’ve been feeling this heightened in myself this past year, heightened more in recent months and weeks dealing with changing body tolerances to favored foods. A lot of life change brings on holding onto familiar comforts for a time and stretching the tension between what fulfills in the moment and what truly rewards.

I was dealing with heightened indigestion, loss of sleep due to frequent urination and came to that point of a deeper desperation. I chose to fast for the needed reset.

It wasn’t a mandated forced self discipline way of going about it. That ability of disciplining myself to do anything is one of the things that has changed for me too, to where what I deepest desire, seems only possible to move towards if it is by desire and surrender. It has been a scary thing to lose, this ability to marshall change by willpower alone.

I do feel all of this as an upgrade, but definitely finding on a deeper level how the only real way that I can navigate any upgrade is to feel it all as I go.

After 3 days of fasting and feeling everything along the way, yesterday, while out for a walk in my familiar village, walking a section without people, I spoke aloud my desires, yearnings and the fears associated with losing the opened-out edge that I feel while fasting. Will desire and appetite just return to their old groove and I’m left with more despair for being almost worse off? I felt the part of me very tenderly who holds that question. I deeply honored the tenderness and transparency of the question. I reflected back to this part of me how awesome it is for us to feel this tension together instead of allowing the unanswered tension play out in our navigation of our appetites and desires.

I’m returning to some fruit smoothie this morning, allowing my strength to return to show up for what’s next.

This is a big piece that Jelelle and I feel called to live and share, this ongoing transition to living on light. Many people have made the transition to where their bodies are sustained without eating physical food, without any loss of the quality of their health.

Many too who reached that place have also found that though they could get their body in the groove, they hadn’t felt all there was to feel along the transition and chose to return to eating in order to fill in the gaps of their transition.

It is light that we all live on. We just differ in how we source that light. That’s the journey and it’s all about our relationship to our desires, appetites and our current fulfillments. That makes for such a deep common denominator amongst us while also making for so much diversity.

To know that light itself without the need for physical food can sustain the body points to the reality that that same light is all we need for all of our needs. We ‘earn’ money as part of journey to realizing that all worth and value is freely available and attainable for all of our needs. Then deeper in the journey we realize that we are so humbly entitled to full sustenance by our birthright in a super abundant universe.

There’s still some ‘rules’ that seem to govern this super abundant universe to where we are in a symbiosis of giving and receiving, but that is a higher frequency than ‘earning’.

What if what you do to earn money could be transformed into giving more of you to love and to life while you earn that money?

Love to every part of us and to each other for holding these tensions of our journey in being born into need desire and our appetites.

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of Divine Self Embodiment.  Visit divineselfembodiment.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.