Tag: feel to heal

Open Your Heart To Feeling

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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Open your heart to feel the pains there, the fear there, the tears there. FEELing this, letting it BE, holding yourself and parts of you in the mourning, the letting go. Over and over, I invite this and in my sessions it comes back to this so often too with every woman that I hold space for. It is really a space being held for feeling, for reconnection with the emotional body while bridging to the soul. A self permission I reflect back to feel, to allow the TRUTH of your emotional reality to come up, to hold space for yourself and parts of you to FEEL.

Why does this self permission to FEEL need to be offered over and over? Our 3D conditioning is to suppress, to numb, to cover over, to protect, to guard, to settle, to repress. Energies form inside of you to block the natural and organic arising of your emotions because it is judged as TOO MUCH. So it is judged by your culture, by your birth families….your sensitivity is too much, your emotionality is too much, your heart breaking sense of life is too much.

Yet, actually, is it JUST RIGHT. That sensitivity is your heart porosity and your capacity to LOVE. And, as it heals from being allowed to be and flow, so it floods out more and more from healthy compassion, empathy, service with others. You can then feel what others are feeling while they are feeling it because YOU have embodied this WITH yourself and your own parts over and over.

Open your heart to feel the pains and the joy can come into the space that is made. Vulnerability can come into the space that is made. Love can come into the space that is made. And love can be the FEELING that flows most in most moments. ❤

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

It’s Ok To Not Be Ok: Giving Yourself Permission to Feel

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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By Jelelle Awen

I am sitting in the back seat of my parent’s car. I am looking out the window, my head turned away from the chaos in the front seat. I am looking out the window but I am not seeing any of the landscape. The tears that slide down my cheeks are silent. I have learned to cry without sound from many years of practice. I cannot completely numb my reactions to the tension, the negativity, and the hate that fills this car, that staggers from him and crawls from her. It has sharp teeth, harsh words, energy that cuts to the bone.

Part of me tries to protect me. Put up a shield. Put up a barrier. Create a bubble of light space around the growing girl. Tries to turn off the tap on the tears that flow from the pain of feeling like I do not belong. The craziness of feeling like this is not my family, cannot be my real family, not my soul family, not my family of heart. So eventually the tears go deep in, get buried, and my other feelings as well. And the part of me that protects my heart breathes a sigh of relief as a possible crisis of self revelation is avoided.

It starts so early, our conditioning to suppress our feelings, our emotional reality, and what our actual reactions to situations are in the moment. Through this conditioning and the pain of not being able to be real, we have to develop aspects of us that can fit in with the non-feeling environment around us. It is a necessary self defense mechanism. It just seems to happen so naturally and organically.

The message of, ‘It’s NOT ok to NOT be ok” is so strong in our culture. The conditioning around not expressing our feelings starts so young when children are first told not to have tantrums or to cry. Tantrums feel to me like releasing the unfelt emotional energy of the parents and the surroundings. We tantrum and then we reach a stage where, to get and keep love in the form of approval, we develop parts of us who become very good at suppressing what we are feeling. And parts of us who become very good too at form fitting our environment to not draw attention to ourselves and our vulnerability.

I described a scene above that encapsulates so much about why my defenses developed the way that they did. In my process through SoulFullHeart and previous subpersonality process work that I have done, I have ‘gone back’ to these moments of extreme hurt and pain through the aspects of me who became stuck there.

I sat in the car with the part of me that holds hurt and I felt her tears with her. I became the loving adult, heart filled with support and permission to feel, that she didn’t have at the time. And this version of me, no longer needing to be quiet or suppress her tears, could lean into this adult version of me. She could be felt and the pain from this moments and other moments like this could heal. And, I could become more current to myself.

To be able to go into places like this painful scene with parts of me has needed to be negotiated with the loyal and protective part of me. This has happened through a growing sense of trust that I will be able to ‘handle it and hold it’ and that it is safe to release it and feel it. Over time and development of our authentic self (or what we call the ‘SoulFullHeart Self’) protective parts of us begin to feel that they can relax their strong protection of us which can come in many different forms and energies. Through conscious negotiation with them, we can open our heart up more and let others in more deeply, also sharing ourselves more vulnerably and authentically. This leads to more experience of love transaction inside of ourselves and with others.

Through the SoulFullHeart work, you reach a place where you no longer really want to be around people who or in many environments where you can’t BE authentically with your feelings or express them in the moment. Or, you choose to stay home or go to a secluded spot in the woods…..somewhere you can feel yourself. It becomes the ultimate priority over ‘fitting in’. We have created a place and space inside and then as expressed in our community where it is truly OK to NOT be OK.

Sessions with us are just a practice ground for this dedication to yourself, to feeling, to being not OK if that is what is real, to be with the parts of you that resist feeling and why, and to be supported by someone else for it. And, eventually, this regular practice moves into and influences your choices in every day life in a natural and organic way where you are desiring to be authentic with those you are in relationship with and in whatever soul purpose-based vocation you are serving love through.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

 

Premise 13: Feeling our healthy human suffering is necessary

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

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Welcome to mega day 13 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’

I know today is meant to be a big day of realization, and so I’m going out on a limb and calling it so. I’ll need your help though to make it happen as our energy co-creates more than we realize. We’re again going to enter conceptual ground today in search of heart ground, where a deep feeling doorway is opened out for us to feel together. Let’s see if the mind can surrender us to this doorway.

Thank you for pausing with me on the premises tour for the past few days as I was in what felt physically like a bit of a flu or a cold, but energetically and emotionally was a love bath awakening experience for me, that I can’t quite explain, it also feels important to not hide it either. I trust there’s some new energy here as a result for this and the remaining premises.

So today, we’re talking about suffering. Every spiritual path under the sun offers some explanation of the cause of suffering, from which and for which they offer a solution. SoulFullHeart is no different in this respect. My point though is about how far reaching this conceptualization of suffering and its cause is in any spiritual practice or healing modality. The suffering picture defines the healing picture. ‘Problem, reaction, solution’ is the lens we see so much through as everyone from sales training personnel and conspiracy theorists point out. This has to do with how we are wired. We want to find problems and fix them in our dualistic reality.

I’d really like to get to the root of our suffering and find a way to fix it, wouldn’t you? Pardon me for the ‘fix it’ language. In one way, you need no fixing, and perfection is found in imperfection. In another way, I very much want and need growth and change. Both are true.

Let’s have a look then at SoulFullHeart’s ‘Cause Of Suffering Premise’:

“What we refer to as suffering is actually about an unhealthy suffering over healthy human suffering. To be human is to keenly feel and in this way, to suffer. Unwillingness to have a personal relationship with this inherent vulnerability of being human manifests in the fear of love; lack of individuation; the illusion of the separate self from Self, Others, and God; and by not seeing the bigger soul reason behind healthy human suffering.”

In other words, you don’t suffer, rather you suffer over your suffering. Big difference.

Let me try and explain. (I feel something I want to get at today and feel together with you and I’m still feeling it and finding the words as I/we go. I feel like we are all learning together, even if I assume the role of teacher and you of student in this moment.)

To be human is to feel. Most of cultured human life, not in our essential expression, but rather in our fear-based strategized approach to living life is about not feeling. Pretty much any and every aspect of life can be and is related to medicatively as a ‘feel good’ drug used to not feel deeper realities of human vulnerability. Healthy, normal, good things in life are used every day as drugs to not feel, and in this way, constructive things are actually destructive in our lives.

You, as an embodied human, have deep needs. To fully live your human life requires beginning with feeling your needs. If you are willing to feel your needs and your vulnerability to those needs, then you are in other words dependent on something larger than you for your fulfillment, at least as how you define YOU most of the time.

I don’t grow my own food, build my own shelter. The money that I use to buy things I want and need is energy that comes to me by exchanging my energy with others energy. In this way, I am far from complete in myself. The love I experience with Jelelle is a projection of my self love, yes, but it just isn’t the same without her as a projection screen. To be human is to be in want and need. To be in want and need is to be in suffering. This is healthy human suffering. Hence, most people’s entire relationship to life, at a deep fundamental level, is about not feeling human vulnerability, or about limiting these feelings as much as possible.

It hurts to suffer. It hurts way more, however, to suffer over our refusal to feel our vulnerable human suffering. In this way, we are suffering over our suffering. I’m offering to you that what we call human suffering and all of its manifestations isn’t true suffering at all, but really about our refusal to feel our truest humanity, which is vulnerability. You are human. You get to hurt. You get to suffer.

When we refuse to feel our vulnerability, life brings to us jacked up expressions of suffering in the form of painful life circumstance asking us to get in touch with our humanity, i.e. feel our needs. Our refusal or inability to feel our human vulnerability leads to suffering over this vulnerability and that is the shit that really fucking hurts like hell, way more than the grounded suffering of being human.

Life and love are all conspiring to bring us back to the love we are and are expressions of.

If all of this is so, why would we wire it up this way, to suffer needlessly? Aren’t all of us looking for an easier way? Wouldn’t pragmatic selection help us find this easier way? How could we have missed this?

But, I say, we aren’t missing this, are we? We are looking at it right now. Holy shit! Could we be looking at something brand new? Others may well have said it before, but it’s still new to you and me and we for sure missed the memo if we are still stuck in suffering over our suffering! Right?

And it’s precisely this propensity to suffer over our suffering that we collectively aren’t getting yet, except in very small doses, which led us to create a garden with a pretty, but effective fence around it called SoulFullHeart.

When you elect to stop suffering over your suffering, people get mad and you will need a fenced garden to hold the energies you want and keep out the energies you don’t. You’re going to need to create a garden of your own, or come on and join us in creating one.

Let’s let this sink in for now and come to the rest of this premise next day.

Thank you for being a fellow ‘wonderer’ in this tour and you can take in my writing on the other premises on this blog. You can also find them by scrolling down on my personal fb timeline.

If I can directly help you in changing your relationship to your suffering, here is my/our sessions page at soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.