It’s Ok Not To Be OK: Feelings As A Portal To Your Multidimensional Self

By Jelelle Awen

It’s OK not to be OK….putting down the masks of OKness or being positive all the time. Being vulnerable to show what is really going in your heart. Sharing your tears, your fears, your concerns, your pain with those who can feel you. Being real with what parts of you are feeling and reacting to in every moment. This self permission space allows the feelings to BE, to be felt, and eventually to heal.

Why do we need to receive this self permission to feel? The 3D world operates on the suppression of vulnerable feeling. Analyzing feelings rather than actually dropping into the emotive ground of them. Numbing and drugging our feelings with ‘anti-feeling’ drugs such as anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, etc….relating to our emotions as if we need to go into battle with them. As if they are diseases and illnesses that need a cure. As if they are evidence of our brokenness.

Your feelings offer a story, an important telling of what parts of you have experienced in 3D reality and what may remain emotionally undigested. They tell a soul story too…often from other lifetimes even, BIG emotional charge there sometimes, that is waiting for bridging and to be felt and held and responded to.

Your feelings provide a portal to deeper understanding of yourself in this life..and in other lifetimes too. They are a portal to your multidimensional experience of reality in so many timelines going on all at ONCE.

There is so much social lack of acceptance around feeling ourselves and being REAL about what our feelings are. Even in spirituality, there can be so much focus on the light and the positive that transparency and integrity (that come from being REAL about what you are feeling) get lost and covered over. Abuses of self and others occur then in ‘spiritual circles’ with emotionally immature teachers perpetuating toxic cycles from using spiritual frequencies to cover over their own woundings.

It’s OK not to be OK…..if you had been told this, offered this in childhood rather than the 3D message of “Get over it. Don’t be so sensitive. Stop crying”…you could have naturally learned how to hold space for your feelings and the parts of you that feel them. Instead, parts of you learn to protect and defend your feelings. To turn the judgement of your feelings inward and develop a punishing energy (an Inner Punisher) that carries the message inside of your unworthiness.

Then, you are called eventually to become the loving and accepting parental energy (fuelled by the Divine) that you probably did not have. Your pain calls you to this. Your pain offers where there still remain places inside that need your love.

The most amazing high frequencies of bliss and joy find MORE room is made for their arising when the deeper pains are being felt. When no feelings are being denied, there is no energy going toward suppression, no energy toward transcendence of feelings. Then, this energy is freed up and your heart space opens for yourself, for these parts of you that need you, and bliss can flood in again eventually finding rich, grounded soil in your open heart.

Trusting the flows AND the ebbs, the natural cycles of closings and openings. Trusting and being curious about the reasons that your tears exist, the reasons that your pains exist, and the mirror they are offering you OF you. The Divine, especially Divine feminine frequencies, WANTS you to feel yourself and all that calls your heart to respond to it. Divine love supports this process of not being OK, being real about it, and the dive in exploration of it too.

The Divine wants the pains of the 3D experiment to be felt and moved as more of Its essence can be let in…..which is actually YOUR essence as Infinite Love returning to you as a felt reality the more and more you are willing to feel what is real.

Here is a guided meditation to transmute traumas by feeling them with love:

Jelelle Awen
1:1 sessions available with SoulFullHeart Facilitators RaphaelGabriel and Kalayna :

Join Raphael Awen and I for our monthly group transmission live or to receive the recording on Saturday, October 12th at 10:00am PDT for $15 CAD donation. We will be offering teachings, meditation, and a sound healing with crystal sound healing bowls to help activate your light body, bring in any galactic/ascension codes in your ‘field’ and raise your frequency. More information here:

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Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit

It’s Ok Not To Be Ok – Day 14: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 14 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I offer about a sense of self permission that comes from offering to yourself and parts of you that, “It’s Ok Not To Be Ok”.

I read from a previously shared and popular writing…..”It’s OK not to be OK….putting down the masks of OKness or being positive all the time. Being vulnerable to show what is really going in your heart. Sharing your tears, your fears, your concerns, your pain with those who can feel you. Being real with what parts of you are feeling and reacting to in every moment. This self permission space allows the feelings to BE, to be felt, and eventually to heal.”

Here is the link to read the rest of the It’s Ok Not To Be Ok writing:

I offer about not going to battle with our feelings or numbing and drugging them, yet rather seeing them as offering a heart and soul story for us and to respond to them with compassionate curiousity. If you had been told “It’s Ok Not To Be OK” as a child and felt in your feelings, you could have learned how to hold space for yourself and your feelings. Instead parts of you learn how to protect, distract, deflect, etc. due to 3D conditioning from your caregivers.

Very often in spiritual offerings it can be about finding the positive; don’t get ‘too low’ in feelings; find only bliss. This creates a gap between your awakening high states and the reality of your emotional bodies’ wounding and reactivity. More bliss and joy can come up when there is no energy going toward transcendence or suppression of feelings. I offer that the Divine wants us to feel ourselves and our parts of us; to be real about what we are feeling; and to feel what is real.

I also share some of my process over the years with parts of myself and my discoveries of my emotive ground of being and where reactions were actually coming from. Go here to read more about parts of you that we connect with in our process:

Thank you for joining us on this fourteenth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together… beloved part of us at a time!

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos:

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog at, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page:



Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at

It’s Ok To Not Be Ok: Giving Yourself Permission to Feel

By Jelelle Awen


By Jelelle Awen

I am sitting in the back seat of my parent’s car. I am looking out the window, my head turned away from the chaos in the front seat. I am looking out the window but I am not seeing any of the landscape. The tears that slide down my cheeks are silent. I have learned to cry without sound from many years of practice. I cannot completely numb my reactions to the tension, the negativity, and the hate that fills this car, that staggers from him and crawls from her. It has sharp teeth, harsh words, energy that cuts to the bone.

Part of me tries to protect me. Put up a shield. Put up a barrier. Create a bubble of light space around the growing girl. Tries to turn off the tap on the tears that flow from the pain of feeling like I do not belong. The craziness of feeling like this is not my family, cannot be my real family, not my soul family, not my family of heart. So eventually the tears go deep in, get buried, and my other feelings as well. And the part of me that protects my heart breathes a sigh of relief as a possible crisis of self revelation is avoided.

It starts so early, our conditioning to suppress our feelings, our emotional reality, and what our actual reactions to situations are in the moment. Through this conditioning and the pain of not being able to be real, we have to develop aspects of us that can fit in with the non-feeling environment around us. It is a necessary self defense mechanism. It just seems to happen so naturally and organically.

The message of, ‘It’s NOT ok to NOT be ok” is so strong in our culture. The conditioning around not expressing our feelings starts so young when children are first told not to have tantrums or to cry. Tantrums feel to me like releasing the unfelt emotional energy of the parents and the surroundings. We tantrum and then we reach a stage where, to get and keep love in the form of approval, we develop parts of us who become very good at suppressing what we are feeling. And parts of us who become very good too at form fitting our environment to not draw attention to ourselves and our vulnerability.

I described a scene above that encapsulates so much about why my defenses developed the way that they did. In my process through SoulFullHeart and previous subpersonality process work that I have done, I have ‘gone back’ to these moments of extreme hurt and pain through the aspects of me who became stuck there.

I sat in the car with the part of me that holds hurt and I felt her tears with her. I became the loving adult, heart filled with support and permission to feel, that she didn’t have at the time. And this version of me, no longer needing to be quiet or suppress her tears, could lean into this adult version of me. She could be felt and the pain from this moments and other moments like this could heal. And, I could become more current to myself.

To be able to go into places like this painful scene with parts of me has needed to be negotiated with the loyal and protective part of me. This has happened through a growing sense of trust that I will be able to ‘handle it and hold it’ and that it is safe to release it and feel it. Over time and development of our authentic self (or what we call the ‘SoulFullHeart Self’) protective parts of us begin to feel that they can relax their strong protection of us which can come in many different forms and energies. Through conscious negotiation with them, we can open our heart up more and let others in more deeply, also sharing ourselves more vulnerably and authentically. This leads to more experience of love transaction inside of ourselves and with others.

Through the SoulFullHeart work, you reach a place where you no longer really want to be around people who or in many environments where you can’t BE authentically with your feelings or express them in the moment. Or, you choose to stay home or go to a secluded spot in the woods…..somewhere you can feel yourself. It becomes the ultimate priority over ‘fitting in’. We have created a place and space inside and then as expressed in our community where it is truly OK to NOT be OK.

Sessions with us are just a practice ground for this dedication to yourself, to feeling, to being not OK if that is what is real, to be with the parts of you that resist feeling and why, and to be supported by someone else for it. And, eventually, this regular practice moves into and influences your choices in every day life in a natural and organic way where you are desiring to be authentic with those you are in relationship with and in whatever soul purpose-based vocation you are serving love through.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information.