On The Precipice Of Change Is Where Love Finds You

What do you long for?
What is seeking redemption, truth, forgiveness, and love?
What is it that you truly want to feel coursing through your veins when you wake up in the morning?
Who are you really and what the hell are you doing here?
These are the penetrative questions that rumble the status quo of our current emotional and spiritual consciousness. I am being asked those questions of myself as I feel and heal old patterns within me that have taken me to the next leg of my inner quest and leadership.
When you feel like you begin to cycle on something, you have hit a ceiling. Actually, it is more like a membrane. It is not solid in reality. It only appears that way to a part of you that holds resistance to what lies on the other side. This ‘ceiling’ is actually the floor to the next level, the next chapter, of your ever-evolving growth and remembrance.
What you come to at that moment is a precipice. In front of you is a void that has no apparent stone to step on because a part of you afraid of what happens if there is nothing there to catch you. This has been a repeated part of my journey that is seeking an end. One where vulnerability, risk, and the fear of what occurs on the other side get to create the very steps that have appeared lacking yet there all along.
This suffering ceiling is what brought me to SoulFullHeart. It is what inspired me to say no more to what clearly was not working in my life at that time. It is what is inviting me to go to my next places, next steps that send me to higher heights, along with the fears of falling. There is a moment when you have to decide when the cycles end and the real loving begins. I ask again:
What do you long for?
What is seeking redemption, truth, forgiveness, and love?
What is it that you truly want to feel coursing in your veins when you wake up in the morning?
Who are you really and what the hell are you doing here?
The answers to those questions only come from going into your heart with curiosity, a mirror, and a guide. Wherever you find it, chose it and claim it one choice at a time. Your soul is ready as your heart may waver. That wavering is a universe of parts that have a lot to say and be held in. Feel them and you create a whole new world from the inside out. I offer my heart in service to that exploration of all that you are meant to be.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Beauty and Power Of Feeling And Healing Our Parts


Painting by Art of Jaswant

“I fear the hurt.  The rejection. The persecution…if I say what I really want to say. Expose what it is I really feel,” says the wounded inner sensitive parts of us.

“I fear I will harm, destroy, or wound another if I let out this energy that has all been bottled up,” says the guardian of the rage within.

“What if I am wrong, attacked, and made bad for what felt so real to me in this moment?,” says the voice of the perfection, punishment, and shame that lie inside.

“What if all that I genuinely feel inside is not acceptable or desirable to anyone and I am left all alone to live a solitary existence in the void of my heart?” says the deeper pain of our souls experience.

Even as we are held in the solace of Divine Grace and magic, we are human after all. We are more than spirit. We are skin desiring touch, we are mind searching curiosity, we are hearts aching for love. This is the 3D and 4D experience we ultimately chose to sign up for.  The one that created this separation that lead us to the fear place.  The fear is what we are here to feel in order to remember that we are more that it. The fear comes in many different shapes and sizes. Even the those that “Fear Nothing”, fear the Nothing. The fear of not feeling anything at all.

We are made up of fractalized energy fields that are of an unknown quantity and substance.  These energy fields are our emotions, our feelings. They pack intense creative power that when left unchecked and unfelt, are creating circumstances beyond our conscious awareness.  But to reduce them to energy fields, is to diminish their beauty for they are works of art when you get to know them and relate to them.  I had a beautiful moment of feeling all the parts of me I have experienced over the last 5 years and it felt like a reunion.  A homecoming to myself. I felt the tender textures of their wounds and vulnerabilities, and their desire to love and be loved.  It was a heart opening moment to the love that exists in all of us.

If this idea of parts feels weird or you think you have no parts, I would feel that as a part of you that is protecting the going in.  The actual feeling of what it is that lies in the depths of your pain body.  And that is completely understandable. To feel that part helps to open the door to the expanded universe that lies inside you, that was created by you to discover and feel with the largess of heart you really forgot you had. To go into worlds you never really knew you had access too because of the conditioning and fear.

Feeling and healing that which blocks real love from entering our hearts is the root of part work. To identify and begin a relationship with the energetic pain and fear inside.  To go into intimacy with it, and thus yourself. This is where it can get scary because intuitively we know what lies inside.  But when held in the deepest compassion and self-love with another, the healing experience is profound and life-changing. It is one that can’t quite be expressed in words though it has been done beautifully by us as much as possible.  It extends itself to our Metasoul aspects which opens up greater doors of love and consciousness.

The love that is stored within is immense in its scope and depth. We have only a faint clue of what we truly are capable of feeling and expressing.  The unlocking and uncovering of that lies in the healing and feeling of the parts within. If you feel a curiosity or a resonance within you about parts, visit this page for more:

There will also be Live Stream events on Facebook and YouTube as well as group calls to dive deeper into this magical world.  We offer a free Intro session to those that are wanting to take the next peek around the corner of their Highest Self.  It is a courageous and powerful journey into a more authentic you.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Premise 13: Feeling our healthy human suffering is necessary

By Raphael Awen


Welcome to mega day 13 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’

I know today is meant to be a big day of realization, and so I’m going out on a limb and calling it so. I’ll need your help though to make it happen as our energy co-creates more than we realize. We’re again going to enter conceptual ground today in search of heart ground, where a deep feeling doorway is opened out for us to feel together. Let’s see if the mind can surrender us to this doorway.

Thank you for pausing with me on the premises tour for the past few days as I was in what felt physically like a bit of a flu or a cold, but energetically and emotionally was a love bath awakening experience for me, that I can’t quite explain, it also feels important to not hide it either. I trust there’s some new energy here as a result for this and the remaining premises.

So today, we’re talking about suffering. Every spiritual path under the sun offers some explanation of the cause of suffering, from which and for which they offer a solution. SoulFullHeart is no different in this respect. My point though is about how far reaching this conceptualization of suffering and its cause is in any spiritual practice or healing modality. The suffering picture defines the healing picture. ‘Problem, reaction, solution’ is the lens we see so much through as everyone from sales training personnel and conspiracy theorists point out. This has to do with how we are wired. We want to find problems and fix them in our dualistic reality.

I’d really like to get to the root of our suffering and find a way to fix it, wouldn’t you? Pardon me for the ‘fix it’ language. In one way, you need no fixing, and perfection is found in imperfection. In another way, I very much want and need growth and change. Both are true.

Let’s have a look then at SoulFullHeart’s ‘Cause Of Suffering Premise’:

“What we refer to as suffering is actually about an unhealthy suffering over healthy human suffering. To be human is to keenly feel and in this way, to suffer. Unwillingness to have a personal relationship with this inherent vulnerability of being human manifests in the fear of love; lack of individuation; the illusion of the separate self from Self, Others, and God; and by not seeing the bigger soul reason behind healthy human suffering.”

In other words, you don’t suffer, rather you suffer over your suffering. Big difference.

Let me try and explain. (I feel something I want to get at today and feel together with you and I’m still feeling it and finding the words as I/we go. I feel like we are all learning together, even if I assume the role of teacher and you of student in this moment.)

To be human is to feel. Most of cultured human life, not in our essential expression, but rather in our fear-based strategized approach to living life is about not feeling. Pretty much any and every aspect of life can be and is related to medicatively as a ‘feel good’ drug used to not feel deeper realities of human vulnerability. Healthy, normal, good things in life are used every day as drugs to not feel, and in this way, constructive things are actually destructive in our lives.

You, as an embodied human, have deep needs. To fully live your human life requires beginning with feeling your needs. If you are willing to feel your needs and your vulnerability to those needs, then you are in other words dependent on something larger than you for your fulfillment, at least as how you define YOU most of the time.

I don’t grow my own food, build my own shelter. The money that I use to buy things I want and need is energy that comes to me by exchanging my energy with others energy. In this way, I am far from complete in myself. The love I experience with Jelelle is a projection of my self love, yes, but it just isn’t the same without her as a projection screen. To be human is to be in want and need. To be in want and need is to be in suffering. This is healthy human suffering. Hence, most people’s entire relationship to life, at a deep fundamental level, is about not feeling human vulnerability, or about limiting these feelings as much as possible.

It hurts to suffer. It hurts way more, however, to suffer over our refusal to feel our vulnerable human suffering. In this way, we are suffering over our suffering. I’m offering to you that what we call human suffering and all of its manifestations isn’t true suffering at all, but really about our refusal to feel our truest humanity, which is vulnerability. You are human. You get to hurt. You get to suffer.

When we refuse to feel our vulnerability, life brings to us jacked up expressions of suffering in the form of painful life circumstance asking us to get in touch with our humanity, i.e. feel our needs. Our refusal or inability to feel our human vulnerability leads to suffering over this vulnerability and that is the shit that really fucking hurts like hell, way more than the grounded suffering of being human.

Life and love are all conspiring to bring us back to the love we are and are expressions of.

If all of this is so, why would we wire it up this way, to suffer needlessly? Aren’t all of us looking for an easier way? Wouldn’t pragmatic selection help us find this easier way? How could we have missed this?

But, I say, we aren’t missing this, are we? We are looking at it right now. Holy shit! Could we be looking at something brand new? Others may well have said it before, but it’s still new to you and me and we for sure missed the memo if we are still stuck in suffering over our suffering! Right?

And it’s precisely this propensity to suffer over our suffering that we collectively aren’t getting yet, except in very small doses, which led us to create a garden with a pretty, but effective fence around it called SoulFullHeart.

When you elect to stop suffering over your suffering, people get mad and you will need a fenced garden to hold the energies you want and keep out the energies you don’t. You’re going to need to create a garden of your own, or come on and join us in creating one.

Let’s let this sink in for now and come to the rest of this premise next day.

Thank you for being a fellow ‘wonderer’ in this tour and you can take in my writing on the other premises on this blog. You can also find them by scrolling down on my personal fb timeline.

If I can directly help you in changing your relationship to your suffering, here is my/our sessions page at soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.