By Raphael Awen
Welcome to mega day 13 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’
I know today is meant to be a big day of realization, and so I’m going out on a limb and calling it so. I’ll need your help though to make it happen as our energy co-creates more than we realize. We’re again going to enter conceptual ground today in search of heart ground, where a deep feeling doorway is opened out for us to feel together. Let’s see if the mind can surrender us to this doorway.
Thank you for pausing with me on the premises tour for the past few days as I was in what felt physically like a bit of a flu or a cold, but energetically and emotionally was a love bath awakening experience for me, that I can’t quite explain, it also feels important to not hide it either. I trust there’s some new energy here as a result for this and the remaining premises.
So today, we’re talking about suffering. Every spiritual path under the sun offers some explanation of the cause of suffering, from which and for which they offer a solution. SoulFullHeart is no different in this respect. My point though is about how far reaching this conceptualization of suffering and its cause is in any spiritual practice or healing modality. The suffering picture defines the healing picture. ‘Problem, reaction, solution’ is the lens we see so much through as everyone from sales training personnel and conspiracy theorists point out. This has to do with how we are wired. We want to find problems and fix them in our dualistic reality.
I’d really like to get to the root of our suffering and find a way to fix it, wouldn’t you? Pardon me for the ‘fix it’ language. In one way, you need no fixing, and perfection is found in imperfection. In another way, I very much want and need growth and change. Both are true.
Let’s have a look then at SoulFullHeart’s ‘Cause Of Suffering Premise’:
“What we refer to as suffering is actually about an unhealthy suffering over healthy human suffering. To be human is to keenly feel and in this way, to suffer. Unwillingness to have a personal relationship with this inherent vulnerability of being human manifests in the fear of love; lack of individuation; the illusion of the separate self from Self, Others, and God; and by not seeing the bigger soul reason behind healthy human suffering.”
In other words, you don’t suffer, rather you suffer over your suffering. Big difference.
Let me try and explain. (I feel something I want to get at today and feel together with you and I’m still feeling it and finding the words as I/we go. I feel like we are all learning together, even if I assume the role of teacher and you of student in this moment.)
To be human is to feel. Most of cultured human life, not in our essential expression, but rather in our fear-based strategized approach to living life is about not feeling. Pretty much any and every aspect of life can be and is related to medicatively as a ‘feel good’ drug used to not feel deeper realities of human vulnerability. Healthy, normal, good things in life are used every day as drugs to not feel, and in this way, constructive things are actually destructive in our lives.
You, as an embodied human, have deep needs. To fully live your human life requires beginning with feeling your needs. If you are willing to feel your needs and your vulnerability to those needs, then you are in other words dependent on something larger than you for your fulfillment, at least as how you define YOU most of the time.
I don’t grow my own food, build my own shelter. The money that I use to buy things I want and need is energy that comes to me by exchanging my energy with others energy. In this way, I am far from complete in myself. The love I experience with Jelelle is a projection of my self love, yes, but it just isn’t the same without her as a projection screen. To be human is to be in want and need. To be in want and need is to be in suffering. This is healthy human suffering. Hence, most people’s entire relationship to life, at a deep fundamental level, is about not feeling human vulnerability, or about limiting these feelings as much as possible.
It hurts to suffer. It hurts way more, however, to suffer over our refusal to feel our vulnerable human suffering. In this way, we are suffering over our suffering. I’m offering to you that what we call human suffering and all of its manifestations isn’t true suffering at all, but really about our refusal to feel our truest humanity, which is vulnerability. You are human. You get to hurt. You get to suffer.
When we refuse to feel our vulnerability, life brings to us jacked up expressions of suffering in the form of painful life circumstance asking us to get in touch with our humanity, i.e. feel our needs. Our refusal or inability to feel our human vulnerability leads to suffering over this vulnerability and that is the shit that really fucking hurts like hell, way more than the grounded suffering of being human.
Life and love are all conspiring to bring us back to the love we are and are expressions of.
If all of this is so, why would we wire it up this way, to suffer needlessly? Aren’t all of us looking for an easier way? Wouldn’t pragmatic selection help us find this easier way? How could we have missed this?
But, I say, we aren’t missing this, are we? We are looking at it right now. Holy shit! Could we be looking at something brand new? Others may well have said it before, but it’s still new to you and me and we for sure missed the memo if we are still stuck in suffering over our suffering! Right?
And it’s precisely this propensity to suffer over our suffering that we collectively aren’t getting yet, except in very small doses, which led us to create a garden with a pretty, but effective fence around it called SoulFullHeart.
When you elect to stop suffering over your suffering, people get mad and you will need a fenced garden to hold the energies you want and keep out the energies you don’t. You’re going to need to create a garden of your own, or come on and join us in creating one.
Let’s let this sink in for now and come to the rest of this premise next day.
Thank you for being a fellow ‘wonderer’ in this tour and you can take in my writing on the other premises on this blog. You can also find them by scrolling down on my personal fb timeline.
If I can directly help you in changing your relationship to your suffering, here is my/our sessions page at soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.
Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.