Reclaiming The Lost Boy Of Our In-essence

As a sensitive boy growing up, I could feel so much around me yet had no real guidance on how to interpret, digest, and integrate it all. This is really true for most if not all of us. The biggest piece I am revisiting now is the depth of my sexual trauma as a boy moving into manhood.
Confronted with so many images, energies, and conditionings around sex and sexuality, this boy in me found himself between a rock and a hard place (pardon the pun). There was the desire for innocence to be the name of the game. To dance with the essence in both the boy and the girl. Like a journey of discovery and playfulness.

Instead it was about fitting in to the dominant culture of woundedness. Girl became an object of my need to be validated as a man in the world. Her yoni a portal back into the womb of The Mother. But Girl was wounded too. She was looking for her own needs to be filled…so to speak
Now Boy is caught between fulfilling the needs of both the wounded masculine in his power over the feminine and the wounded feminine in her need to feel some hook into the masculine. Both invulnerable and unable to really see each other in their innocence or in-essence.

I reconnected with that boy in me again and replayed those days while feeling the innocence in contrast. The pain of what this boy packed away in order to survive in that world was heart-wrenching. I could feel the toxicity and pain swelling in my cells. All of the trauma that I never categorized as trauma because men don’t do that in what is just ‘those teenage years’.
If, as men, we were to really feel where we lost our innocence, we would really get to a core of who we are as a man. Why we have done, and to some degree still do, the things that we do. If we can ‘come to Jesus’ with this Lost Boy inside of us, we would find the root and beauty of our masculine innocence. Something we packed away a long fucking time ago.

In that innocence we also find the warrior who has fiercely protected him. The warrior who has both shadow to heal and truth to tell. Between them both is the Man who has a vulnerable heart and a willingness to call bullshit when he sniffs it. He is willing put his heart on the line but not his power. He is willing to seek forgiveness but not condemnation.

There has been no greater process for me than the one I am currently in. This Lost Boy in found again in my heart. I am loving him with every once of it that I have access to. It is my current sacred bromance. It is this process that activates and unearths more of my King or Sacred Sovereign Masculine Self. It is this process that leads me to more self-love and ability to see, feel, and relate authentically to the feminine within and without.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Sacred Feminine Healing W/Divine Mother Guided Meditation – DAY 28: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/ Jelelle Awen & Kalayna Colibri (VIDEO)

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Sacred Feminine Healing W/Divine Mother Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen & Kalayna Colibri

This is day twenty-eight of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. In today’s video, SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Colibri joins me to talk about sacred feminine healing for women. As I’ve been offering in this video series, there are key areas of self exploration that can lead to the arising of your sacred femininity. We talk about how individuation from your birth mother templating and working with your Inner Mother is a key aspect of this. Another important self love exploration is with your sacred sexuality, your Yoni space, and clearing of sexual trauma and abuse frequencies from this life and other lives.

Discovering what the feminine is in authentic expression is also about feeling into what isn’t feminine, yet rather wounded masculine expression. This comes forward through expression of usually masculine parts such as the Inner Protector, Gatekeeper, Inner Punisher, who heal into healthy masculine frequencies of guidance, right action, discernment, ability to set boundaries etc. The healing of your wounded feminine in forms such as your Inner Child and Inner Teenager is also an important aspect of moving into wholeness of integrated feminine expression.

In the meditation today, Kalayna leads us into an exploration of a sacred feminine healing circle through experience of Divine Mother frequencies. Kuan Yin, Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, Sophia, and Dark Mother join you to connect their healing frequencies with yours. Your wounded feminine parts and masculine Protectors also come into the circle to receive Divine Feminine love.

Thank you for joining us on this twenty-eighth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch all the videos in the series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

 

 

Connect To Your Yoni/Lingam Sacred Sexuality Healing Guided Meditation – DAY 27: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/ Jelelle Awen (VIDEO)

DAY TWENTY-SEVEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Connect To Your Yoni/Lingam Sacred Sexuality Healing Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen

 

This is day twenty-seven of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. In today’s video, I talk about the ‘yoni/sexual area’ as a portal for women and men. The Yoni doesn’t just include the female genitalia, yet also the root/sacral/solar plexus chakras as well. Connecting with yoni honors the sacredness of your sexual energies and allows for digestion of sexual partner experiences you’ve taken in. For men, the lingam recognizes more than just male genitalia (which can so be the focus), yet the lower chakras as well as a penetrating and powerful energy of sacred masculinity as it heals.

I offer that working with your yoni (or lingam for men) as a part of you opens you up to more of your sacred sexual energies that are often suppressed, blocked, or overly energized. It creates a tender space of self-love based healing to clear out previous sexual experiences from this life and from other timelines as well, which can be stored in the yoni especially. This allows for more healthy and nourishing (and satisfying!) sexual experience with a partner.

In the meditation today, Divine Feminine guides Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene invite you to join them in connection with your yoni (or lingam.) You go to a clearing and cleansing ‘purity’ pool to dip into the waters of love. You connect with the cries and tears of your yoni or lingam, feeling into each partner you have had this life. Then, you receive loving energies from both Marys to provide soothing digestion as you get a sense of what it would feel like to embody your innocent sexuality and your pure sensuality.

Here is a video of Raphael and I talking about sacred union and sacred sexuality: https://youtu.be/diPaOZFiPBM

The writing that I suggest doing to deepen this connection is about writing a letter to your yoni and have your yoni write back to you. Men can do this as well. Then have your yoni write to you about every partner you’ve had and how she feels about them.

Thank you for joining me on this twenty-seventh day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

 

 

%d bloggers like this: