Reclaiming The Lost Boy Of Our In-essence

As a sensitive boy growing up, I could feel so much around me yet had no real guidance on how to interpret, digest, and integrate it all. This is really true for most if not all of us. The biggest piece I am revisiting now is the depth of my sexual trauma as a boy moving into manhood.
Confronted with so many images, energies, and conditionings around sex and sexuality, this boy in me found himself between a rock and a hard place (pardon the pun). There was the desire for innocence to be the name of the game. To dance with the essence in both the boy and the girl. Like a journey of discovery and playfulness.

Instead it was about fitting in to the dominant culture of woundedness. Girl became an object of my need to be validated as a man in the world. Her yoni a portal back into the womb of The Mother. But Girl was wounded too. She was looking for her own needs to be filled…so to speak
Now Boy is caught between fulfilling the needs of both the wounded masculine in his power over the feminine and the wounded feminine in her need to feel some hook into the masculine. Both invulnerable and unable to really see each other in their innocence or in-essence.

I reconnected with that boy in me again and replayed those days while feeling the innocence in contrast. The pain of what this boy packed away in order to survive in that world was heart-wrenching. I could feel the toxicity and pain swelling in my cells. All of the trauma that I never categorized as trauma because men don’t do that in what is just ‘those teenage years’.
If, as men, we were to really feel where we lost our innocence, we would really get to a core of who we are as a man. Why we have done, and to some degree still do, the things that we do. If we can ‘come to Jesus’ with this Lost Boy inside of us, we would find the root and beauty of our masculine innocence. Something we packed away a long fucking time ago.

In that innocence we also find the warrior who has fiercely protected him. The warrior who has both shadow to heal and truth to tell. Between them both is the Man who has a vulnerable heart and a willingness to call bullshit when he sniffs it. He is willing put his heart on the line but not his power. He is willing to seek forgiveness but not condemnation.

There has been no greater process for me than the one I am currently in. This Lost Boy in found again in my heart. I am loving him with every once of it that I have access to. It is my current sacred bromance. It is this process that activates and unearths more of my King or Sacred Sovereign Masculine Self. It is this process that leads me to more self-love and ability to see, feel, and relate authentically to the feminine within and without.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter: Finding Your Place Within The Fire

What a dynamic week this has been! A lot stirring up in the collective due to so many influences both terrestrial and cosmic. This week was a big focus on the Inner Teenager, truth-telling, passion purpose, Schumann resonance, crop circles, and the events unfolding in the US. You can read it here

Featured this week is a piece from Gabriel Heartman. In it, he addresses the riots that are underway in the US. He focuses on how the riots and the situation that sparked them are all a reflection of the suppressed violence within each of us and in the collective emotional body. He also offers that each of us has our own journey in response to these events:

What action and power do each of us have in these times when it feels like it is all coming unglued? I think that is one you have to ask yourself. What feels like the most aligned with your purpose here? If it is to advocate and protest, then I say do so with all the Love you have to muster. That is possible. If it is to hold the space for the Kali phase of this death and rebirth then hold it with the might and compassion of your heart and soul. If you are to shine the Light of the New Earth then shine that Mother with all the power and glory that is within you without compromise.

Related to this, is the suppressed truth and pain of the Inner Teenager that was felt in the last Free To Be 2 Group call on Wednesday, May 27th. There are writings that talk about our personal relationships and teachings about how the Inner Teenager influences our current lives and emotional body. 

The next ‘Free To Be’ group call series begins this Wednesday, June 3rd @ 10am PDT. The third call of this series will focus on the 3D/4D Matrix/Cabal Collapse. The 3D/4D Matrix and Cabal/Illuminati/Global Elite revelation and collapse that is happening now pushes up much to feel for the 3D Self that has needed to be plugged into this Matrix. There can also be a Reptilian Self plugged into the 4D AI Matrix on that level. You will connect with your 3D Self or Reptilian Self to offer them a deeper unplugging from the Matrix into liberation during the guided meditation.

You can offer a donation at any time and receive the recordings and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to. More information at https://www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 

In this week’s edition of our Museletter, there is a sample of the last group call as well as the recording of the last Facebook Livestream by Raphael & Jelelle. In it they discuss the current Covid Awakening Event and offer a Pleiadian/Dolphin guided meditation.  There are many new articles and audio blogs from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well as SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Solais and Gabriel Heartman. Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

If you are interested in a session, we begin with a free consultation for 30-45 minutes over Zoom with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for you to learn more about the SoulFullHeart Process, what happens in sessions, mutually determine if the process is a fit for you at this time, and if so, which Facilitator to work with in sessions. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information.

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheart.org

Check out the latest Museletter here.

The Suffering And Healing Of The Inner Teenager

Tomorrow in our next SoulFullHeart Free To Be group call, we will be diving into the Inner Teenager part of us that has a lot of wounding, BUT a ton of power and creativity. Right now the Inner Teenager may be coming out in a rebellious nature toward some of the ‘rules’ that are being implemented right now. There may also be a compliance as well. I know I had both in me in my teen years and struggled in the conflict between the two.

This conflict showed up as a desperate need to do well in school while being heavily into alcohol and smoking. I had a lot of mom/sister issues that showed up in my relationship to young women my age. It felt like an all-round hell zone for him in many ways. Trying like hell to fit in but not knowing which ‘in’ was really his.

As I feel him (his name is Chris, my birth name) from this vantage point, I can feel a soul that was winding down the 3D experience and struggling to reconcile that. Until of course he met Jill (aka Jelelle Awen) in college and the journey of self-discovery and authenticity began. It was a lot for him to let go of all that he thought he identified with (family, friends, relationships, conditioned ideas, etc).

He is very much into art and creativity and this too was a conflict as well with deep perfectionism that caused a lot of suffering. A battle between the masculine and feminine waged within. I feel him much more rested in with my inner teenage feminine and they seem to be in much more balance and harmony together.

In him there is a rebellion that just wants to go his own way without a fight. He doesn’t need to get angry anymore or judge others as this was always a judgement of himself. I feel a relief in him for no longer being in those days while still honoring all the process. There were lots of good times among the suffering. Those are what are now left in the memory banks when we look back.

Still much to heal around romance, intimacy, and sexuality but those are on their way with each passing day. Working with Chris in the early stages of my process was one of the most touching and healing parts of my journey. You don’t realize how much you are our teenager until you start to work with them.

If you are interested in connecting with and knowing more about your Inner Teenager, please join us for the next group call tomorrow at 10am PST. You can find out more info here:
soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 or purchase the link and soulfullheart.org/shop

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc. 

The Sacred Journey Of My ‘Black Sheep’ Inner Teenager

by Kalayna Solais

I harvested some photos from an old Facebook account the other day, at the request of a part of me that you’ll hear about in a moment. The last time I used this account was when I was 25 and walking into it feels like walking into my teenage bedroom, my dorm at university, and all of my ‘first apartments’ I lived in. There’s a treasure trove there of past romantic and would-be romantic connections, creative endeavours, and friendships that my parts then thought were very deep.

This ‘self’ I used to live in, the ‘me’ part of me was constructing, vibrates with so much need to be seen, heard, felt… loved. There was so much performance and not just creatively. There was so much energy around who these parts of me thought they needed to be, what they needed to look like, how they needed to act in order to draw a guy’s attention, to get ‘picked’ for a gig, to become the healer I was driven to be from a very young age, to fit in yet stand out.

Underneath all of that, lies so much sadness. So many feelings of ‘I’ll never make/have it’ despite doing ‘the work’ that I was told then I needed to do.

Underneath all of that, lies so much loneliness. Feelings of ‘I’ll never be loved the way I want to be’ and choosing to try and become a fun party girl and sleep with whoever came into my field for that evening, to feel somehow validated and seen and like people actually did want to be around me…

The ‘me’ I see, the ‘self’ I feel as I share that, is my Inner Teenager who was essentially uninitiated into true femininity and womanhood. Who learned from media pressures what it would take to become anything at all with any real presence in the world, and therefore, what it would take to be loved and to feel like she belonged.

Her name is Katie. And this was the name I went by for all those formative years in my birth family, in early adulthood, and when I first began my SoulFullHeart journey.

Katie struggled with feeling like the ‘Black Sheep’, as have other young parts of me. She felt this way, always, with birth family. She often felt this way too among other young women but also with young men. I haven’t had many relationships with men or close friendships with women my own age. It was very painful for this part, for my awakening Star Seed and Inner Child self too, to really feel any sense of deep connection or belonging with the crowd.

Katie tried many things to cope with these feelings, but none of it ever felt like her… the emptiness and depression remained. When I feel into those ‘Katie’ years, I feel such a soul lineage coming through, of being sometimes the youngest of women in a group, tribe, community of healers and priestesses, or a young, budding, feminine being that couldn’t quite find the initiation she was seeking into true womanhood and Sacred Union, though she so longed and ached for that! It almost feels as if I/Katie would have been diagnosed as manic depressive at the time. The highs were SO high but the lows were nearly catastrophic.

The ‘Black Sheep’ feelings now feel to me like an ache for initiation that our souls actually know very well, for better or worse. The answer to that has to start within and keep coming back to what isn’t happening yet within… the space that isn’t being taken to really feel and honour who you ARE in all the breadth and depth and textures of that. It’s a deep journey of finding the answer to that ache more and more within your Metasoul and in relationship to your parts. Self-initiation, self-belonging, becomes the focus and the desire and also the reality even as you may be drawing resonance and belonging, finally, on the outside.

This is still an ongoing journey for everyone, it feels like, until the veils of separation really vanish for good. It ultimately feels like a pain of ‘not belonging’ with the Divine and a deep desire to move beyond duality. There’s no one person or being outside of us that can do this work for us. Just us being dedicated to ourselves and to being with every single step of this sacred journey back into oneness.

Katie agrees!And is grateful for your heart and soul taking all of this in… 😀

Much love! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Energy Update: 5:5 Gateway Energies Holding Space For Trauma Processing, Galactic Disclosure, Inner Teenager

By Jelelle Awen

The 5/5 Gateway is OPEN! This gateway feels like a golden highway of access to 5D and higher frequencies in your soul. The veil is thinner to access timelines of deep love embodiment and Unity consciousness experience. These are embodying frequencies, meaning the codes that are personal to YOU and what you need for the Next Level of your awakening journey. They are made to be digestable to your energy system and emotional body, whatever you (and parts of you) are ready and prepared to receive.

As I tune into the 5/5 gateway energies, I can see/feel the floods of high frequency light and love flowing into Gaia’s atmosphere and humanity’s too. Higher frequency spikes have been going on and picked up by the Schumann/Gaia resonance for the last few days, which has been a pattern for the last few weeks as well. The full moon on May 7th amplifies these 5:5 energies to allow more revelation as needed.

There are many, many light ships in the orbit of Gaia right now, wow! They are friendly skies with waves of support coming from them toward humanity and what we are going through. They feel Pleiadian, Sirian, Andromedan and even Orion (the friendly ones). They are invested in what our choices are going forward and they are ready to provide support to whoever needs it and wants it. Ask for it and you shall receive.

The sense is that they are disclosing themselves more and more to the mainstream 3D public yet still are hesitant to just ‘land on the White House lawn’ as many couldn’t digest that. More pictures and videos are showing up every day of these light ships uncloaking and then re-cloaking again; appearing in the skies in beams of bright light for brief moments. They are seen when they want to be seen.

And, with the recent disclosure of videos of ‘UFO ships’ from the U.S. Pentagon and confirmation FINALLY of their existence, more souls are opening up to the idea of humanity not being alone in the Universe. This ‘news’ flew under the radar of most souls with the Covid situation, yet those of us long connected to the galactic awakening process were celebrating this movement!

I am getting the sense (and have been for awhile) that the Covid-19 shutdown/pause/lock down is actually THE EVENT that so many of us have been anticipating for awhile. Rather than a stunning, high frequency solar flash that awakens masses of souls at once, this event is allowing for a MUCH needed detox from 3D life and the work-sleep-repeat suffering reality of it. This respects where each soul is and invites them into awakening.

It does feel like the event that was MOST needed for where humanity is at this moment in our evolutionary cycle. Even intended and created originally from a darker agenda of the Cabal, the virus itself is neutral and just ‘doing its job’ to disrupt the Matrix programmed reality that has so long been running.

Yes, it is uncomfortable. Yes, it is messy. It is pushing up LOTS of contentious, battling, polarizing, war-like energies. It is revealing people’s shadows and unconscious motivations and hidden agendas.

Yet, too, it is landing us in what is REAL for us and in our lives. Just like a fasting for the body, this is a fasting for ALL of us from 3D life. It is landing us in our truth and more souls are telling those truths despite how others react, a KEY place to move through in awakening and unplugging from the social conformity Matrix programming.

Each of us are being invited to feel what is real for us in this moment in all areas of our lives in terms of how we earn money, our social worlds, our physical bodies, our spiritual awakenings, and more. Traumatic experiences from the ‘past’ are coming up to be felt in this pause time as well. There are not the usual distractions of everyday life routines to provide an escape from what needs to be felt.

This trauma is waiting to be felt and digested with parts of you who need you. The Inner Teenager seems to be coming up powerfully right now. The Inner Teenager comes forward with a rebel attitude towards being ‘told what to do by authority’, and pushing back on the 3D (and 4D Matrix) control systems.

This can especially be felt in the United States and the protests against the shut downs either in the physical or via online/virtual sharings and disclosure movements such as QAnon. This is an important aspect of claiming individual sovereignty during awakening that each soul needs to go through in their own ways. The U.S. is leading the way for other countries on how to collapse the tyrannical Matrix systems, even if it is messy process as ALL births are.

The 5:5 energies are supporting and holding space for these sometimes painful, messy, and difficult explorations inside and outside. Rather than creating a transcendance or bypassing out of your emotional body realities, they are encouraging you to find and discover a personal bridge inside to them that allows the deeper feeling space to transmute and move what needs to from trauma to love.

Arising out of this messy phase is the possibilities and realizations of a 5D Golden Earth and next Golden Age for Sacred Humanity. Arising out of this is the embodiment of each of us individually as the Infinite Love that we ARE!

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Raphael and I will be providing a bridge to 5D energies via sharings and a guided meditation for our last Free To Be Group call tomorrow Wednesday May 6 at 10:00am PDT. You are welcome to join us or receive the recording by offering a donation at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. You don’t need to have attended the previous group calls to come to this one.

Our next Free To Be: Navigating the Matrix Collapse to New Earth weekly group call series for six weeks starts on May 20! Hope you can join us live and/or receive the recordings! More info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For information about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group call events, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheart.org.

‘Sacred Sisterhood’ Is Emerging More As Part Of ‘New/5D Earth’ Transition

by Kalayna Solais

I wrote down some feelings of Sacred Sisterhood a few months ago when a new wave of ‘sacred sisters’ was just emerging onto my shores, in my heart and soul field, and in the flesh no less! This was not just about my growing INNER sisterhood, though that is always deepening and being felt more and more… this was about feeling the resonance of other women around my age and beyond that too, feeling us coming together more in realness, uniqueness, yet also a desire to heal and be healed and not leave any part of us or Metasoul aspect behind in the process.

I’m feeling something today about women learning to actually see each other and love each other deeply and how this seems to be happening within my beloved SoulFullHeart community and possibly elsewhere too. There is something to be said for the ‘restriction’ of not being able to go outward and do many outward things right now and feeling, then, the new portals to going inward – going YINward – that I feel is helping us all go to our next levels of feeling why we’ve had a hard time holding deeper friendships and being with other women as women. We’ve been invited to continue the journey of looking within and seeing each other as sacred mirrors of the continued inner work. We’ve been invited to feel the triggers yet actually find some stillness around them too, feeling the parts and Metasoul aspects in other timelines where they could be coming from, which then leads to a more open heart towards each other.

I hear women claiming ‘realness’ when they’re being harsh and even abusive, fusing to their Inner Punishers or other energies in their soul timelines and lashing out as a way to off-gas what actually isn’t about the other person at all. I hear women claim ‘Well, I am just direct and blunt’ when I can’t feel how this directness has heart or care in it for the other person. When I hear words like these, I can feel their Inner Matriarch who is in pain about never being met with actual realness, vulnerability, and care themselves and quite often they’ve also taken in these abusive frequencies, even from the maternal line in their birth families. Underneath this is often a pain of being the biggest soul in the room, who hasn’t ever felt truly initiated into their soul gifts or deeply seen for them either. It’s also an energy that covers over the more vulnerable energies and parts inside that just want to love and want the battles to be over so they can play and connect more with others, like with the Inner Child or even the Teenager once she has finally had some air.

In my deepening relationships with women in my life who have been very consciously working and feeling all this and more within themselves, what becomes new is the way in which it can all be shared… all the nuances of feelings and reactions. These parts don’t have to be any less ‘real’ or even more vulnerable and open than they’re ready for yet, yet they do get to be held now and seen in a new way, acknowledging that these energies they hold that often feel competitive and push away at the deeper love and intimacy that’s possible are NOT their whole story or all that they have within them.

I’ve been so pleasantly surprised (and not!) to feel how much deeper my relationships with these other women can go once we have done the work to be able to hold realness, feel reactions, share them, and also acknowledge the impact of this in every moment. The result of these exchanges is more love, not less, that gets to be shared; more seeing of each other and each other’s uniqueness and gifts; more compassion than was transactable between us before, for now we know more about each other’s backgrounds, stories, and ongoing processes.

This, to me, is a sacred template emerging for Sacred Sisterhood. It’s always in exploration. There are no rules and sometimes messes are made. Abuse is a thing of the past, though sometimes exchanges are intense if necessary. There’s a personal sense of accountability for your own energies and process and there’s a desire to be transparent and deepen the intimacy ground.

This all feels to me like the new ground going forward that’s possible in ALL relationships of all kinds if the time and space are taken to go inward, to lean into work such as this, to dig into those deeper wounds and find gold, and to begin, ultimately, to seed the ground of what New Earth/Golden Earth/5D Earth relationships get to look and feel like! There can only be BLISS as this moves and deepens our healing and the yield of 5D Earth/Sacred Human consciousness within you and in your relationships makes it all worth it. The practice ground for this is always within, yet when these sacred friendships emerge on your radar, this is a chance to really apply all you’ve realized and seek out all you’ve most wanted to experience but were afraid to ask for with another.

Much love!

Kalayna ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

 

4/4: Reminder Of Divine Love & Support During Intense Phases

by Kalayna Solais

So much of who we are going to be on the other side of this lengthy and often intense Ascension process is shrouded in uncertainty. I don’t get that we’re actually meant to ‘know’ much about this bigger picture of who we are and are not. Just like a toddler learning to toddle, so we are love itself learning how to love again.

We cannot avoid the trips and falls, but we can keep getting back up, building strength, growing resolve, and choosing to keep seeing the world differently… especially the world within each of us, learning about ourselves and others along the way.

I remember the first time I was given this picture by the Divine of a toddler learning to walk… I was on a ‘break’ from my SoulFullHeart process, taking space to be on my own solo adventure in Mexico. It was my birthday. I felt so sad… so many tears coming up, with parts of me that felt like they were failing. Feeling so lonely and missing those I had been so close to but was now pushing away from out of a need to grow ‘on my own’ for a while.

I remember laying in bed, sobbing, and being offered this picture of a mother and father bending down at one side of the room, calling to the little girl in front of them to keep getting back up again and to take that next step. She kept falling down but eventually got to them and together they celebrated this incredible milestone of ‘first steps’.

The Divine offered me the sense that I was the toddler in this picture, that everyone must learn to walk before they can run and that this is exactly the process of healing, evolving, and growing on every level that everyone must be with. I was offered that the Divine has infinite patience for this process, celebrating every aspect of it… every breakthrough, realization, or even ‘fall’ we endure as we all learn to get back up again, trust again, and believe in love again.

More tears came as I felt the infinite love and support I was surrounded by, especially during a time when parts of me felt so much self-punishment around the sabotage of an old life picture and a feeling like I was doing everything I ‘shouldn’t’. I felt so comforted by this message and especially felt the young parts of me that had been caught in the cross-fire of all of the recent changes, landing in the loving laps of the Divine Mother and Father, both.

If we all, in this very humbling process of Ascension, can remember that in the bigger picture we really ARE all ‘toddlers’ in many ways, we can go back to the feeling our souls so know of being loved for everything we ARE, even when it might feel like the world has gone dark and there is nothing left of love or goodness.

No matter how often we may seem to fall into more cycles of death and rebirth, thrashing out about this or that, feeling the cries of the world, or feeling the cries of our inner world, this is all part of the picture of learning to walk in love again. We do get to point out what isn’t love and sometimes that comes with charge and contention. Yet, we do get to find the softness and vulnerability again too, that often comes from the tender and usually rather young parts inside that are so ready to be connected to love again, to help bridge YOU and other parts of you back to love again, and to not only be healed but offer healing to others too.

It may feel sometimes like you are stumbling, fumbling, tumbling on your way back to love… yet the invitation is always there to begin to feel this process differently, to feel the parts of you that have a hard time letting this in and that are used to feeling so much punishment/criticism instead…. to feel the young parts too, like the Inner Child or Inner Teenager, who have been affected by this energy and who need so much to get back to the roots of love. It’s times like these when so much is perhaps moving through and shifting in your life, that remembering humility is the key to walking with it instead of running away from it, and extracting all of the gifts from every experience you may find yourself in. ❤

Much love… ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Meet Your Inner TeenagerGuided Meditation – DAY 18: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE AWEN (VIDEO)

 

DAY EIGHTEEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Meet Your Inner Teenager Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen

This is day eighteen of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, I introduce you to another important part of your inner family formed during this lifetime. Your Inner Teenager is the energy represented by the phase and stage after childhood and pre-adulthood…usually between 12 and 18 years old, although that can vary. Your Inner Teenager is often ‘stuck’ in their teenage bedroom with strong feelings of angst, depression, even suicidal feelings. Your soul was most likely coming through during this phase and there wasn’t a capacity and modeling for how to handle and digest that.

Instead of receiving initiation in all areas of life around relationships, sexuality, spirituality, passion purpose, etc., your inner teenager received most likely invalidation in these areas…and 3D-based conditioning that fed fears, dualities, and polarizations. Instead of a healthy phase of individuating from family, there is often push-pull, over attachment and other unhealthy dynamics experienced by our inner teens. Connecting with your inner teenager allows them to receive the initiation and individuation that they most need in order to mature in all areas of life.

In the meditation today, Yeshua and Magdalene join us to get permission from your Inner Protector to meet your Inner Teenager. You go to your teenage bedroom and meet them there. You feel what their world looks and feel like; what their joys and sorrows are; and begin to establish a relationship that leads to the opening out of much magic and love.

Thank you for joining me on this eighteenth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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The Quest Of The Sacred Masculine: Healing The Inner Teenager

On my current quest of Soul, I found myself on the other side of a ravine having just crossed a bridge that was inspired by one of Jelelle Awen’’s meditations a couple of days ago. Alongside me is my Protector/Gatekeeper named Rogan. He is feeling like the Lewis to my Clark for all you American history buffs. Or the Marco to my Polo. However you want to relate to it. We are a team, and he is there to help me access the areas in my emotional and spiritual body that is in need to be felt or related to for any reason.

This morning I had a hit in my heart from an old part of me that I have worked with in the past that goes by my birth name Chris. He was the part of me that related to life before awakening. More of a 3D interface at times, but now feels to hold a more 4D inner teenager energy. I felt just to go with the intuition and check in with him.

There were some remaining tears about the way he lived life and wish that it could have been different. Not really regret or shame, but just a sweet remorse. Leftover remnants that needed to be felt apparently as I continue this journey. I then felt his longing and ache for a father energy that was different than what he was raised with. This felt really tender and very poignant as a man delving deeper into soul and heart.

What I got from this experience is that as we heal in order to ascend (it does not happen with some effort), there are layers in the emotional body that need our attention. As a man, one of the more sacred layers is that of our inner teenager and his relationship to his father. This feels true for women as well. The wounded teenager holds so much of our relationship to all sorts of life be it sacred or mundane. It wanted and needed so much for sacred initiation by a masculine that had his own healing and quest of soul as a priority. Unfortunately, many of us did not get that. What we can feel is that we got the best they could give us even if it wasn’t much or quite a bit.

I felt the Divine Father come into our space together offering Chris his heart and an invitation to be held and supported by Him. We would co-lead an initiation together and heal the remaining reactions to a life that is increasingly in the rearview. Tears flowed at the possibilities to heal and experience what he had always wanted. This is the hallmark of transmutative healing from the inside out.

So now Chris is on this epic quest with me as I continue to retrace my steps back to Self, Soul, and Service. He remains an integral part of my inner world, as do all inner teenagers. As a man, this will open out into a deeper connection with inner masculine guides that will all be a part of the awakening and arising sacred masculine within us all.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Introduction To The Parts Of Yourself And Soul

By Jelelle Awen

The worlds that these parts of us live in are SO real and so available to be visited. I have been so gifted and honored to venture into so many inner worlds with parts and Metasoul aspects of people in the last couple of years especially. There are many commonalities and similarities that these parts seem to share…even as every one of them is VERY unique to the person and soul.

Let me take you on a quick tour of these inner worlds to meet these parts of self and soul. You may feel a strong sense of recognition. You may respond with sudden tears or released sadness. You may hear and feel your own parts of self and soul responding with a desire and need to be felt, connected to, and seen.

First is your loyal Inner Protector, who is so often just standing by, on guard and vigilant. Lonely for company and companionship, yet unwilling to leave their post for any reason. The need for love that Protectors feel is buried beneath the duty and absolute necessity for protection that 3D life has required. They are covered up in various forms of armor to protect their heart and YOURS. They are standing in front of the castle of your essence….waiting, watching, and most of all guarding the precious contents (other parts) inside. Once connected to and loved, they become healthy boundary setting, healthy self protection. They transform into your 4D Gatekeeper who has access to all the timelines of your soul.

Here is a guided meditation to meet your inner protector: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ciJIvrn0xA&t=1170s

Inside of the castle are your Inner Child and Inner Teenager. These ‘girls’ or ‘boys’ are often in shadow….tucked away for safe keeping in the high up turrets or the deeper dungeons. They are often SO sad, lonely…the Inner Child forgetting what it means to be free, to feel joy, to feel magical, to feel connected to your star family…..all frequencies that they can return to when received with love. The Inner Teenager vacillates between rage and hurt….wanting to be alone and wanting so desperately to be loved. This part transmutes with conscious connection to passionate expression, creative/soul purpose expression, and innocent sexuality.

Here is a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Child, Protector, and Divine Sophia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yuiBDIp2Oo&t=1707s

Here is a guided meditation to meet your Inner Teenager: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vu7nRmyzu0E&t=9s

Your Inner Punisher is usually in the shadows, in the dark….feeling ostracised and lonely…..using self judgements of you and others to repel, yet, mostly, to protect from barbs coming from the outside. Your Punisher has important discernments, intuitions, and truths to share with you….connection with them transmutes their energy from judgement without love to healthy discernment WITH love.

Here is a guided meditation to meet your Inner Punisher: https://youtu.be/0cTe6ayIAWk

There is also your Inner Mother and Inner Father….the internalization of the templating that you received from your parents. They can have quite a polarized relationship to each other, for which exploration with them can help to heal and defuse…..opening up your heart for more healthy gender expression and sacred union.

There are others that come from the source of your Metasoul or your individuated soul source. These Metasoul fragments are your soul brothers and sisters living in other timelines….living out karmic patterns that hold woundings that are repeating/recapitulating in YOUR life too. They express as an infinite range of species, energies, and universes. Connecting with them offers immense and effective gifts of karmic healing, soul gift expression/exchange, and quantum collective healing too!

Here is more about parts/Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

This gives you a glimpse into the wonder world of your self and soul….beyond the ‘I’ that you’ve been taught is who you are is the REALity of the energies that HAD to form into expressions in order to fit in with 3D life. Beyond the ‘past life’ picture that makes things ancient rather than acknowledging how they live in the NOW, there are expressions of your soul that WANT and NEED to unify again.

Separation from these parts allows for a collaborative relationship to form. The original traumas and woundings happened in relationship and heal in relationship too. You become a loving, compassionate, and curious higher vibrational frequency of love that can rescue, save, feel, and BE with the parts of yourself and soul that most need you.
 
This is not just a therapeutic process to connect with these parts of yourself….yet also a deeply spiritual one. It allows your soul frequency to unanchor from 3D trauma places/scenes and woundings in your emotional body as held by these parts of you. As these parts release the trauma, they can ascend and awaken into your 4D and 5D self….they can integrate into your arising sacred human expression as Divine love!
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If you’d like to go on a deeper dive into YOU to meet these parts of yourself with the support of an experienced and very heart open guide, I offer 1:1 bridging sessions with women and Raphael Awen & Gabriel Heartman with women and men to explore this inner terrain. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session
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Jelelle Awen is a Parts Work/Metasoul & Galactic Aspects/Sacred Union Teacher & Facilitator, and Ascension Guide. She is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life awakening/healing process and community. She has written four books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about bridging and ongoing individual/group sessions over zoom with her for women and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators with men and women, events/retreats, videos, books, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.