What does it mean to be a gentleman?
This came up for me this morning as I was digesting a post by Jelelle yesterday. She was advocating for the energy of gentleness in our lives, in the way we relate to ourselves, others, and the world around us. There is so much going on that has abrasive and abusive energy to it, even as it is coming in the name of ‘love’. I could feel where there are edges still inside of me that still feel a defense and a need for contention at times. I can feel a wound and a hiding of power. One in need of healing, one in need of claiming.
To be gentle does not necessarily mean soft or nice. There is a way in which we can bring our truth that holds a compassionate directness and an openness to be challenged otherwise with respect and goodwill. But this is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves as men, and as the masculine in women. For some, the Gentle Man is a buried part. Put in shadow due to life experience that told him it was weak or unsafe to be so. For others, the Nice Guy comes out as a way to ward off the hidden anger and inner jackass that has been suppressed out of fear of harming and guilt. An inner rage that is in deep need to be felt and heard. In either case, a big part of what what being a true gentleman might be is tucked away in the recesses of our wounded masculine heart.
Our gentleness is a gift and a strength. It is a sensitivity not just to women in general, but the feminine within. There is battle that wages inside, and collectively, around the balance of our gentleness and our power. In our soul’s HIStory, we have much to atone for and be willing to own. This is a lifelong process of choosing to claim our own shadow and to heal that which has been hidden away out of fear and guilt. There is great Protector and Punisher that has had its reasons for being the way they have been. It is responding to these parts with our gentle hearts that brings the balm of healing to our conscious reality and transforms them into guides and lovers.
Under the wounded outbound expression of our power resides our truth, discernment, and passion to love and create in unison with the feminine. It is a strength and a force that is responsible to its consequence yet steadfast in its resolve. The IN-fighting becomes an INviting with open heart, clear boundary, clear intention, and INtegrity. The Gentle Man is not push-over or a bully. He is an enigma to himself yet knows what it feels like to be both, and refuses to be either.
There is no badge to be earned. It is a process of choice and desire. It is about being real with all the parts and aspects of you that are tired of the battle and the inner war. It is about choosing something new where the warrior, knowledge-seeker, and unworth get to rest in the bosom of your sacred gentle heart. It is being reborn and remembered back into the true sacred power of your masculine BEing one truth, one claim, one tear at a time.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
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