Love Stories Don’t End, They Start New Chapters

This was a hard post to write. It is always vulnerable to share about intimate pieces of our lives, yet in service, in transparency, and in honoring it is needed. This past month there has been a deep rumble in my union with Kasha. She and I have been in this process, community, and sacred journey for nearly 10 years together. We have been romantic for about half of those years, in and out. We even got married three and a half years ago to initiate our bond even deeper, even as that completed shortly thereafter.

There has been something deeply core between us and within each of us that has been challenging to reconcile. Each time we have gone in together, we have found new layers of intimacy together, yet also a pattern that has been undeniable between us. In our recent group session, we had to come to the honest truth that we are just not the pair-bond we thought we were.

Yes, we have so much goodness between us. Enough to power a typical relationship to the end of our lives possibly. Yet that is not why we are here. I am still coming to terms with what a sacred union even is. How scary and yet powerful it can be! There is something in me that has been polarized to letting all of that in. This inner split in me has come to my awareness recently and needs a lot of my attention and love. It has colored a lot of the way I have related to Life and Romance. I lost my Lover somewhere along the way.

I am curious how much of my soul history has been involved in these kinds of sacred bonds. I have a seed for union inside of me yet I don’t know how much it has been expressed in my lifetimes. Regardless of that possibility, I am in deep need of resolving something core inside of me that has been difficult to access in our bond together. I don’t want to be an anchor to where Kasha is needing and wanting to go in her soul around sacred romance and union.

There is a lot still to mourn and grieve around this for me. A lot to see and feel inside of myself that comes with me going forward. I said these words before and yet they still hold true today and will 10 years from now. There is always a peeling of the onion and each time we do, the tears fall. The heart gets heavy and the work begins again. Yet, for both of us, we ultimately want what is the highest calling for each of us, even if that might not be in sacred romance together. A tough pill to swallow when there is so much goodness.

A love story doesn’t always just end. It sometimes just takes on a new direction. We have been here before and we know what needs to be felt and addressed along the way. Because of what Kasha has given me, I get to see myself in a real way not only in a good way. This is the gift of sacred union whether they prolong or complete. They offer us back to ourselves and to the Divine in a new way. We see where we have grown and what still needs healing. I could not have done that without beloved Kasha. She has been a portal and catalyst for so much of my growth as well as my joy. We have had so many incredible moments together and in service.

So the road back to me begins again. The road to another layer of my authentic self and my relationship to the Divine in both Mother and Father frequencies. I have been blessed by these experiences with Kasha and have much to own on my side. Sometimes a spade is a spade, even if it looks like a heart.

Thank you to you all who have been a part of our love story. I know that there will be personal reactions to it. For those that have been around us long enough, know what we have had together and will continue to have in the decade to come. I will write more about my own process soon as I digest more of it in time. For now, thank you for taking this, and our former Usness, into your hearts.


Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Shiftings And Completions In SoulFullHeart Community (Personal Update)

By Jelelle Awen

We wanted to offer an update for those of you who may be curious and also have been feeling the shifts in our community too. About 6 weeks ago, we decided that it would be best and good for Kalayna Solais, who has been a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and intimate part of our community off and on for seven years, to take some space from contact with us. That eventually led to her living in Gabriel’s studio apartment while he moved into the downstairs suite in our house. During this time, we had been in a very little contact space with her, other than coordinating life details.

The purpose of this space was to allow Kalayna to fully land in herself and her own parts and process as there had been a pattern of behaviors coming increasingly to light that were becoming more challenging for her and for us to continue to be with. Also, we have felt SoulFullHeart go into a higher timeline, especially leading up to and after the 11/11 portal and this is ‘shaking out’ the previous configurations and bonds, inviting me and all of us to go into our next places of growth and embodiment in intimacy and in service.

Yesterday, we all met as a group again to see where she was and where we are and to digest what the space had offered to all of us. I don’t feel to go into detail about what was shared as that feels private to Kalayna’s process and want to respect her confidentiality in that way. We haven’t been sharing much publically about this ongoing process for us with her as we wanting to have the time and space to sort through the various reactions, the years of history and experience and digest on a Metasoul/karmic bond level as well, and to land in more clarity about it as well.

It did become clear yesterday that while there is a sweet affection and appreciation amongst all of us, that Kalayna is best served right now to continue to take more space for herself and her own process away from community involvement and connection. This may end up being a completion for all of us with her. Even as this was sad for us all, there was also a sense of graduation of the previous forms and configurations between the five of us that has been quite an amazing and growthful journey!

I feel in my heart so much gratitude for Kalayna and what she has held, being for so long the ‘only’ woman in the room receiving what I had to offer. She has been so brave to go through all these beginning stages and phases with us, including living in a campground in RVs and four intense years in Mexico with very little money and means, and then to be with us in our phase for the last three years of expanding growth, interest and draw in SoulFullHeart.

I believe with all my heart and soul that the Divine leads us where we need to go and I follow the guidance to let go when it is offered, even if it personally sad and hard for me (as this has been at times for me.) My process related to Kalayna’s leaving has been primarily around letting go of her being a woman in support to me, no longer needing her for that (which is healthier for us both feels like) and trusting that I am in a place now of a growing draw and collaboration with women. I prefer now to let her go to find her best and highest timeline (as I don’t feel I can KNOW what that is for anyone else) and to treat with respect her sovereignty, and the possibility that parts of her and her soul may really need to choose something else and a new path in life.

There are words below from Kalayna that she wanted to share.

Thank you for being with us in witness to this significant shift in our community,

Jelelle Awen


From Kalayna:

SoulFullHeart has been my ‘lifeline’ in more ways than one. Every single phase I’ve had within it, including the gift of being married in Sacred Union to Gabriel, my best friend for many years, and having ample templating for how to hold and treasure intimate relationships with myself and others while serving love with pure intentions, have all landed deeply in me and none of those memories and learnings will ever go anywhere, they’ll just deepen and land more… I have very sacredly ‘high standards’ now to lean into as to what deep and meaningful connections should look and feel like, especially within, and those inward connections are the number one priority for me in a whole new and much deeper way.

This has been a very, very challenging phase of separation for me as you can imagine yet the digestion yesterday was deep and appreciated, with much bittersweetness as we all move on feeling what’s been illuminated and what we need now, and still feel love and appreciation for each other. The old ground of relationship really can’t move with any of us into the new and every new sense of why that is, has been both hard to feel and hold and yet relieving too.

I’m continuing to hold my process through the SoulFullHeart lens and even if that lens no longer fits someday for whatever reason (hard to imagine at the moment), I’ll always, always remember the many deep benefits I’ve gotten out of being not only in this process, but offering it to others, and being in close connection to this community with Jelelle, Raphael AwenRaianna Shai, and Gabriel Heartman for as long as I have. I feel like I wouldn’t be moving through this new phase and process with as much grace and sanity if it weren’t for the ground I had with them and within this process and all the gifts it gave me of profound Divine connection and connection to myself too.

It was a blessing to be ‘in the room’ with as many of you as I had the opportunity to… I’m sending much love to you all, and like Jelelle said, if you have any questions or want to connect with me, please feel free to PM me on facebook.



Completions, Appreciations, Next Steps – Day 33: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 33! of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I summarize the series, emphasizing that the ground I’ve covered about the SoulFullHeart process is more a map of the process rather than the actual territory, which is more felt and experienced on an emotional and spiritual level than possible through explanation. I offer that the next steps, especially if you feel a strong resonance with what I’ve been sharing about the process, are about having a space holder and facilitator who can help mirror and differentiate, which we offer through weekly sessions and group calls. You can find out more information here about sessions with us:

Raphael Awen, Kalayna Colibri, Gabriel Heartman, and Raianna Shai join me today to offer greetings and messages from their hearts about the completion of the series and possible next steps.

Thank you SO much for joining me in whatever ways you have during these 33 Days, whether watching one video or all of them…..once or many times over. Thank you for the collaboration and co-creation of the infinite possibilities that love offers in every moment!

I hope this series has provided you with a taste of YOUR bigness, multidimensionality, and MAGIC of ALL parts of you that is possible as you lead with self love, curiosity, and compassion.

Thank you for joining us on this thirty-third day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together… beloved part of us at a time!

Here is a playlist of all the videos in this series:

Here is the video series called Practical Ascension with Kalayna Colibri and Gabriel Heartman here:

More information about our monthly group calls here:

Our email is To buy books by Jelelle Awen go here:

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog at, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page:



Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at