Completing Our Sacred Union Romance

By Gabriel & Kalayna Solais

From Gabriel ~ 

This is a hard post to write for many reasons. It signals the completion of something that has been a big part of my journey the past six years so there is mourning. It opens up to the vulnerability of what is real and moving for me in transparency. All of this is held with Love and Grace.

Recently I felt a need for Kalayna and I to take some physical space to feel into some deeper layers that have been some core issues between us for some time. We had been having a hard time connecting on a deeper level and could feel some much needed heart exploring and feeling to get to a root of something.

The fear was always that we could wind up finding out what has been eluding us that may not be reconcilable. Something baked in our dynamic that had a time stamp. We have been down this road a few times and eventually we needed to complete to go back into our own processes. Each time though we came back with new awareness and foundations.

However, this time we have had to admit through deep tears and some frustrations, that this romance needs to complete for its last time. The last chapter of a volume that comprises our larger story. It was not an easy choice to make considering we did just get married. I knew that there were things we had to go into but I wanted to do that while wed to her, because that is how I saw her. That is how I wanted to remember what we had. That she was my wife. My partner. My beloved mate in this wild ride of ascension.

The reasons run deep and wide. We have many differences between us that are hard to reconcile. In our solo processes and sessions with Jelelle and Raphael, we realized that what we have is meant in a different context. One that doesn’t have romantic ties but ties that run deep nevertheless. I have found that I need a space to access more of who I am to myself and in intimacy. I have work to do just as any other ascending human man. Kalayna came to a very similar conclusion for herself.

So many timelines and stories have needed to collapse and complete so that I can open up more to the Love that wants to occur from me to me, me to the Divine, and me to Other. This is an ebb and flow of clarity and tears. I hold this just as sacred as when I got married. This time I am marrying/integrating more of myself that had been put aside in the name of the Usness that just wasn’t meant to be in this way.

In all of this, the one thing that has always held firm and true is that my love for Kalayna is real. So much so that I need to let go so that she can arise and draw what her deepest heart needs. The same is true from her to me. This death and rebirth is a part of what we signed up for and it has been one of the biggest ones to date for me.

Thank you for taking this in to your heart and holding it with reverence. I will answer any questions you may have. I appreciate all the love and support you gave us during our time together and feel blessed to have been a recipient of it. I feel held in all of this by Divine Love. There is no one else I could have walked this out the way we have at this time then Kalayna. Thank you so much Kalayna for everything you were, are, and will continue to be.

From Kalayna ~

It’s been 6 years.

6 years of friendship, of off-and-on romance, of deep connections together on all levels: soul, heart, body, and mind.

And now something so sacred to us both is deeply completing.

We have navigated life together in so many different ways and phases… we’ve pressed forward into plans, launched ourselves into the unknown, met new parts of ourselves and each other, felt new Metasoul aspects of ourselves that are connected to one another and some that aren’t or don’t seem to be too. I’ve grown so much because of being with this amazing man… and the recent choice to become ‘married’ and to deepen in Sacred Union really gave me the gift of a longtime wish I had inside to marry HIM specifically. The fulfillment of a dream, truly. And I couldn’t have asked for a better man to have been my first true, deep, resonant love.

It’s been about a month now of process within myself while taking space from the relationship and altogether separating from Gabriel. I’ve been feeling what the tendrils were that parts of me had with him and so much of that is still unfolding.

It’s been very tender and raw to feel, but it’s time to complete our marriage, our coupleship, our 6 year cycle of going IN together in different ways, always wondering about being together romantically, ‘completing’ romantic phases without them feeling really complete. Now it feels like the romance actually IS complete. I’m realizing and letting in that the ground we’ve had together, though made and built upon with SO much deep resonance and goodness on ALL levels, is a ground that isn’t nourishing in the deeper ways we both would need for it to continue, the way I need it to be to continue…. I’m seeing how in our time spent apart recently, I’ve had more self-discoveries happen inside of myself than I did in much of our romance together, at a new depth that I had forgotten in some ways was possible and also needed personally.

You can imagine how profound and emotional this whole process of letting go of this relationship has been for my heart and soul. So many of you have taken in videos, writings, live streams with us co-leading and I’m still so grateful I got to do that with him. We even recently led a few in-person meditation circles here in Victoria and that was alive and nurturing too, a new taste of my own leadership and my leadership with a mate too (another lifelong dream of mine that still remains and likely always will). I’ve been really feeling it and really letting in the mega timeline shift this has been and how needed this is right now through the tears, the mourning, the frustrations and even the resentments towards him that surface sometimes in parts/Metasoul aspects of mine.

In this whole process I’ve felt wrecked, hopeful, despairing, and then newly alive as I feel some emerging possibilities for myself outside of our bond in service, in personal healing, in future possibilities for my life in all areas. I’ve felt parts of me that don’t want to leave this relationship or complete it, and then felt ME coming up in a new way to be with what’s real and to feel what really does need to complete here for my sake and his. It’s time to come home to ME in a new way…

There’s nothing in me that doesn’t want to be connected to Gabriel somehow… and we both know so well the ground of sacred friendship that we can and DO have together. In some ways, these transaction grounds on a friendship level are just easier for us with so many gaps between us in life and soul experience that just aren’t as bridgeable in a romance as parts of me were hoping they would be.

The promise of Sacred Union is that you will grow… not that you will stay together romantically forever, especially if the bond cannot be kept alive and lively, renewing and rebooting. This has been our experience in the last 6 years of knowing each other and being together in different ways for different phases, and it feels like this last phase of romantic exploration HAS been the deepest we could go in this lifetime while in Sacred Union together.

I knew when we got married recently, that this was a step I needed and wanted to take with him, no matter how long it would last. In a sense it actually feels like we’ve been married for as many as 10 years, let alone just a few months, especially with all of the new realizations coming through that could only really be coming through because of the ground and history I’ve experienced with him. My process is calling me to keep moving forward and onward, as sad as it still feels to be moving on without him by my side…

I so welcome any questions or comments you may have…

Much love to you all… thank you for being a Sacred part of our journey.

****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s Facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, emoto-spiritual teacher, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess. 

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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The Deep Human Fear Of Intimacy

by Kalayna Solais

One of the deepest fears of humanity seems to be intimacy. Relationships that deepen. These relationships are not just romantic either, though that is one of the most challenging grounds in which to work this fear. This also includes beloved friends, colleagues, the Divine… and yourself.

How intimate are you with yourself or parts of you? How intimate do you feel you are with the Divine and with others around you?

3D conditioning has created a block, a defense against intimacy. It reminds our soul too much of Oneness and our decision to separate in order to experience life here and learn through it, grow because of it, and rejoin into Oneness when it’s time to do so. It brings us back to the love we once trusted that somehow 3D life has taught us either doesn’t exist or it takes too much work to earn it.

To be intimate, starting with ourselves, is our birthright and the journey we came here to inhabit. It is the wellspring of Self Love which overflows the love that then is shared with others.

To be intimate also means being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is also scary for parts of you because of your conditioning that it somehow isn’t ok to not be ok.

And… to be vulnerable means to make space to feel and share love. It doesn’t just mean sharing your pain, it means sharing your tears of joy too, your celebration of others and yourself, your gratitude for the Divine and Its ever-loving support.

To be truly intimate with Self and others really offers us all a deepening journey of feeling every line of defense within and every case made by parts of us to keep guarding those defenses and keep them in place. To actually go inward and feel the fears is the deepest gift to offer these parts as they trust your space-holding more. They and you begin to feel naked to your own truths and bake in these opportunities for rebirth.

To begin to open your heart again after all you’ve walked out in THIS life let alone other lives, is no small feat and uncovers no small fears along the way. Yet with every tear of pain or joy or relief or anguish undoes the lock to another layer of who you’ve been and had to be until now and who parts of you have had to become in order to preserve the precious depths within you and within themselves too.

It is a deep passion of mine and my beloveds to support your unlocking and unfolding of all of these pieces… sessions with any of us are available for you and we would love to serve you:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions ❤️

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Re-Learning Love As Sacred Humans: A Poem

by Kalayna Colibri

As we love each other more… we let go without fear or tugging.

As we love each other more… we empower instead of enable.

As we love each other more… our words to one another are not empty.

As we love each other more… the eyes of love are the ones we wear and we see each other for who we are.

As we love each other more… we recognize the difference between caretaking and caregiving.

As we love OURSELVES more… we, ad infinitum, love each other more…

… and in this love, we find
even more of ourselves
than we ever thought we would ever see,
feel, and heal
before we realized
that loving more
means
we will never know love in the less.

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Relationships Are A Mirror

By Jelelle Awen

The push and pulls, the mixed feelings, the uncertainties and doubts…..These feelings can SEEM to be so often about circumstances and situations that are outside of you. That person, that relationship, that dynamic….it is easier to focus outside than it is to go inward.

3D life has conditioned you to look outward. 3D reality supports you to project yourself onto others, onto cultures, onto self image-based ‘ideas’ of who you ‘should’ be. This conditioning creates a feeling of not knowing who you are unless it connects to other people. This produces a maleable sense of self represented by a shifting cast of characters/parts covering over core wounds of unworthiness, separation/abandonment, and disconnect.

You may have a Phd in understanding and analyzing other people….your mother, your father, your romantic partner, your friends, your siblings, your teachers, your clients. You may empath other people’s feelings to such a high degree that you BEcome and fuse to their emotional states as if they are your own. You may fixate on other people as the ways and means to obtain happiness and deepen your awakening as if how they are relating with you holds the KEY to how you can be. You may be focused on changing THEM as the way to receive the love you want.

It is challenging to decondition from this 3D focus on the OUTside and other people, yet, during awakening, your soul starts to move your attention INward. With this inward movement, you start to naturally retract away from the previous 3D-based social networks that served to define who you were. Your soul supports you to wake up to see, heal, and feel the traumas that bond you to other people. Your self awareness collaborates with self compassion, self love, and curiosity as you go into a deeper dive into your heart and soul.

You realize, then, that EVERY relationship in your life is a reflection of relationships going on inside of you….from one part of you to another. The polarization with other people represents polarized realities inside of you….the inner child and the inner mother/father, the Punisher and the inner child/inner teenager, the inner feminine and the inner masculine. These parts of you seem to be ‘against’ each other in some way due to not being connected with, seen, and felt. The inner conflicts rage on unfelt and, so, draw the same dynamic on the outside. More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You realize that the outward relationship would not be there if you didn’t need to SEE this inner relationship. Every relationship with another person serves as a mirror in this way. As you become more aware of your inner world and the parts in it, your soul self/5D self coming into your body and waking consciousness can then choose WHAT mirrors it wants to see of itself.

As you heal the inner relationships between parts of yourself, the mirrors represented by others begin to show you ONLY resonance, soul connection, and non-polarized frequencies of love. Then, a healthy sense of unity consciousness can start to transact…love flowing from your open and healing heart/soul/mind to and with the other person’s open and healing heart/soul/mind. You are becoming whole INside and don’t need them to define you in any way. You complement each other rather than compete with each other. Your consciousness can merge together in moments, yet you can still remain individual, sovereign soul sparks.

This is emotionally mature relationality INside and with others. It happens as you connect with each part of you that so needs you and heal the polarized frequencies inside of you. It happens as the integration and unification happening inside of you is able to overflow out to all those you chose to be in relationship with. It happens as you let go of any mirrors and reflections of you that are LESS than the love that you ARE.

~

We support you to bridge in self love to parts of yourself during powerful, illuminating 1:1 bridging sessions with me and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-sessions

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of four books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation with women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Drawing Fear From Others; Transmuting It Into Love

By Jelelle Awen

forgivingothers

Maybe you are drawing fear from others right now. This especially can happen during collective events such as the Holiday season when there is so much expectation, conditioning, and conforming to 3D going on. Drawing fear can show up as sudden and intense outbursts from others, being energetically kicked, being ‘insulted’, being judged and pointed fingers at, being unfairly misunderstood, being projected upon without awareness, being excluded. This can seem to happen ‘out of nowhere’ or is the result of increasing advocacy you’ve been doing for more connection and soul resonance with others (as I wrote about yesterday).

Drawing fear from others can happen because parts of them can feel you feeling AND loving your own fears. Because they feel you stepping into your soul purpose and truly being yourself in more authentic ways. Because they want your light to illuminate and transform them too, yet parts of them don’t know how to be vulnerable in this or just ask for it. It can be a sign of YOUR bigness rising actually and increasing capacity to be a transformer and alchemizer of fear into love…for which others are recognizing on some level (even if it is still subconscious to them).

Sometimes drawing fear from others is about seeing something in your own shadow, your Metasoul legacy showing up as karmic patterns, within a part of you that needs you. Sometimes it is the only way to see this aspect, energy, or part of yourself.

It may be difficult to digest for parts of you the drawing of this fear from others. It can bring up feelings of being inadequate, unworthy, ‘crazy’, and wrong. Their judgements may trigger the parts of you that judge you (what we call the Inner Punisher), who forms defense mechanisms during 3D life based on judging you first before others can. Their anger may trigger parts of you to be angry back too and defensive and wanting to state your ‘case’.

The drawing of fear also is happening in the collective as it NEEDS to come up and out. Those leading the way with love and healing their fear into love serve on a quantum way to heal others. Your process around this may feel very personal, yet, your capacity to digest fear and ultimately find compassion for yourself and others, to eventually and authentically feel forgiveness, serves the ALL. BEing with the parts of you that are in reaction to this, who feel sad and confused and lonely, allows the energies to digest in YOUR heart and move into love again.

Holding space for yourself and parts of you not going too much to analyzing, thrashing, and picking apart others (another defense that has been needed in 3D) can allow the energies to move through and out as well. The Divine Feminine especially offers a beautiful, real, and catalytic space for the digestion of these kinds of experiences, which can have deep roots in your Metasoul too (especially if you have been a leader, wayshower, forerunner, in many timelines/lifetimes, etc.)

The drawing of fear is ultimately temporary, a mirror as you still need it, and, sometimes, a deep form of service to yourself, your parts, and to others. Held with self love and self worth, strong boundary setting (to not allow repeating patterns of abuse with others), it can be navigated and even appreciated for the growth it brings and the love it eventually exposes!

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more! 

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.