divine guidance – Page 3 – Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart)

Letting Go Of Cultural Assumptions : Mission To Me Journal With Wayne and Yeshua

Published on November 8, 2014November 28, 2014 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Wayne Vriend

Wayne – Whoa, Yeshua. Can’t guess where to begin just now. So much changing…Are you up for dialogue?

Yeshua – You know me, I miss interaction of heart and feeling. Nothing satisfies like it.

W – I know. I’ve always hungered for that my whole life it seems. What is it that makes way for that and what is it that shuts that down between people?

Y – It has so much to do with your assumptions about life, how you deeply and especially subconsciously feel about your life, your relationships to everything, the planet, others, divinity.

W – Somehow, though knowing you, I don’t think you have a ‘change your belief system’ prescription answer to this though.

Y – That has been a popular prescription, but it is now being realized that this is such an outside-in approach, trying to deal with the unwanted symptoms of the much deeper held felt reality of someone’s life. When something is truly addressed and moved on this deep heart level, there isn’t any need for belief system adjustments to tidy up the mess.

W – This whole realm feels so alive for me personally right now as we’ve just left Canada permanently, embraced Mexico, and are being introduced to a brand new, to us at least, culture. Then, on top of that, preparing to live even more remotely and deeply off the grids of western civilization at the ranch.

Y – That will wake you up for sure.

W – It so does. It wakes up a lot of stuff. Desire, passion, joy, for sure, but that’s not all. I’ve also felt some pretty deep fear places that I didn’t know were still there to the level they were.

Y – Which brings us to one of humanity’s biggest and longest surviving assumptions about life itself……

W – Here comes the heart and soul interaction, please go on, seatbelt’s fastened.

Y – One the single largest and lasting false assumptions about life is that fear is an enemy. Fear is not an enemy, but a very natural part of life. People don’t go crazy because of their fears, but because of their resistance to feeling their fears. Being human is being in fluent contact with whatever fears come up. Most people structure everything about their lives to spare them this sovereign responsibility. Keeping life the same as much as possible, (which is such a rinky-dink achievement at best; because life itself will always undermine the best of these change-less fortresses) is an attempt literally against your true human and divine nature.

W – I know I could use some more kindergarten around this one because I surprised myself lately with what fears are still lurking, and don’t feel very far away from me even right now.

Y – That’s nice and humble of you to make the beginner kindergarten reference, but really that’s another thing rooted in the fear picture.

W – I was feeling that as I said it.

Y – Well, what was the fearful part of you trying to cover over?

W – Fearing not being seen as relevant and relatable.

Y – Being real is the very definition of being relatable. Hiding a fear is the very essence of withdrawing yourself from the human experience. Can you tell me the texture of this fear of not being relatable?

W – The texture is something like being estranged or excluded from a source of love, which then manifests in a shrinking-to-fit the people I’m relating to.

Y – Being more than or less than you truly are, are both equally an expression of an unfelt fear. And this unfelt fear that is disowned and unacknowledged in this way, goes on to remove the heart and soul from your sacred grounding in your real sacred human experience and sovereign territory.

W – Which gets us back to the assumptions you were talking about.

Y – How so…teacher?

W – When I’ve subscribed to the lie that a successful or meaningful or powerful life is about having less fear or anxiety, I structure everything in my life, my relationships, my spiritual, emotional, and physical health right down to the very cells in my body in an attempt to live inside of this assumption about life…..which given enough time, only eventually proves the falseness and uselessness of the assumption.

Y – Which ties into what?

W – Which ties into that one of our deepest soul fears is being in life without a clutching grasp on what reality is, what really matters…why I’m here and all of that…along with what really is ‘here’ for that matter. Honestly, I don’t know. Admitting that I don’t know enters me into true learning which isn’t about decoding the universe, but rather being caught up continuously in its unfolding wonder. Observer vs. knower and all of that good stuff.

Y – And what about all of the God shit religious people peddle……what’s that about?

W – When I feel into the god shit I peddled to myself and others, It’s really about our collective need to feel secure in having others living like we are, which is the very essence of culture, and cults for that matter.

Y – Which brings you back to what?

W – Well, if hiding from fear is a common to man assumption, albeit a hindering one, in this phase of our consciousness, it brings me back to a shared common denominator that I share with all men. None of us are excluded. We are all learning a similar lesson.

Y – But…what?

W – But, even in this common denominator, we are not the same. Each of us is at different places in this journey.

Y – Where are you at in this journey…I mean as near as you can tell?

W – Well, I’ve been doing a lot of letting go of my acquired cults and culture for a long time now it seems, courageously moving on from one life cycle to the next when it no longer felt like me. I just let go of another few big ones, with leaving my country, oh, and my livelihood career security blanket of the past 30 years.

Y – I’d say that’s a whole lot different than where the majority of humanity is at.

W – Yes, that is.

Y – Well then, fuck that kindergarten shit, man!

W – Thank you.

Y – Good answer! 🙂 Thank you!

In this blog series, Mission To Me Journal, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversations with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer Wayne’s process and digestions with Yeshua as he undergoes internal and external process moving to Mexico to be in an eco-conscious community. Read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher and Ending The Money Madness With Wayne And Yeshua for more conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Consciousness Awakening : Mission To Me Journal With Wayne and Yeshua

Published on September 25, 2014October 6, 2014 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Wayne Vriend

Wayne – Good Morning Yeshua.

Yeshua – Good Morning Wayne.

W – My last day in this resort, getting ready for the next phase.

Y – Yeah, and what are you feeling?

W – Well, it was a lot to take a bus ride yesterday to another resort town and be in amongst what feels to me, at least, like the masses. What is about all that that feels so taxing is what I’d like to feel into together today.

Y – People when they congregate in anything, be it a bus, or a city, or a village, they are tying into cultural expectations and adaptations about how to be in the presence of others. What drives this is genuine human need. The result however is a long ways away from anything resembling genuine.

W – Now I know why I like talking with you. You know how to get right to something.

Y – And that’s a good as example as anything. We, you and I are bringing are needs into the circle of our togetherness, feeling what we want and need. We call that expressing. The point of our connecting is not to hide our true wants, but rather to feel and express them and negotiate together for the meeting of those needs.

W – That feels like a world away from what I felt yesterday, or what I saw at the breakfast buffet this morning.

Y – It is literally an entire world away. A world is the sum of what any given culture has come up with as a way of being. Many different worlds within the world and all that, for sure. But even the words ‘the world’ have a huge cultural assumption in them, that is that the world as one knows it is in fact the depth of reality, and that is without a doubt, the height of hubris and stupidity.

W – Some of us are just plain stupid?

Y – Well, being stupid in the original sense of the word means to be amazed or stunned. Most are so amazed and stunned that they inhabit a human body and express as a human being, that they are fused to that stunned state. They can’t see beyond it or around it to feel their unique state.

W – Which leaves them little ground to feel self worth.

Y – Exactly. Their own uniqueness and wonder is lost on them. A deep sense of meaningless and existential depression is their lot. W – Which to me, and I hesitate here, because a part of me feels it to be too judgmental, but I might as well say what I’m thinking,… is that their state isn’t much different than being an animal, and much of the time, what we consider a lesser animal at that.

Y – I feel that’s accurate Wayne.

W – Is that Okay? I mean, should it be our mission to raise their consciousness to the level of their actual being, out of the state that their consciousness has fallen into?

Y – Careful on that one. I’d say that the best approach is to see yourself as a cooperator with someone who is sovereignly coming into a deeper consciousness, not as a creator of that state. You can’t awaken anyone who’s choosing to remain where they are. You’re being who you are is plenty of light and invitation to any soul who is ready for your help.

W – That takes the stress out of that one.

Y – Totally. And feel too how when you are unhealthily pressing on someone to wake up, a part of you is actually struggling with it’s own awakening.

W – I think I see that.

Y – What do you see about it?

W – Well, it’s a painful process to leave the familiar, and the deepest level of familiar is not our language, food and surroundings, but our level of consciousness. Waking up on that level is where the existential pain and fear of not finding meaning or connection comes in. Sailing for another shore involves leaving one behind. So when I’m frustrated with someone who is unwilling to awaken, I need to check in to feel if a part of me is resisting my own movement.

Y – Thank you. Yes. And doesn’t this elevate the whole feeling of what it means to be a human. I’m talking about the grace and space to feel yourself. This is more than self-awareness. This self-awareness though is only the beginning on the path to self love. In between and all along the way comes deeper discoveries of meaning and worth. That’s the theory of it, not to be mistaken for the reality of it.

W – And the reality of it feels like is a life long journey. I’m never actually in possession of ‘it’ somehow.

Y – True, in the flow of it, the expansion of it, often the struggle of it, but such a worthwhile way to be human.

W – Because…

Y – Because there’s no greater container for the entire human experience than to be journeying to discover deeper and deeper experiences and the feeling of your own worth and value, which of course is tied to the worth and value of all of your fellow humans. And what else, …my god, your energy around this awakens me man…what else is that, that alive energy in you of feeling who and what you are is what triggers that around you in others without you having to get into efforting that. It’s an effortless achievement when you trigger an awakening in someone by your being. You’re just being you. This is the deepest level of gift expression.

W – And really the funnest fun, because I get to see more of my emerging self.

Y – Totally Man.

W – My butt’s getting sore Yeshua. I’d like to go feel this by the poolside some more.

Y – I’m not boring you am I?

W – My god, anything but!

Y – Good.

W – I see your sensitive too?

Y – Well of course I am. I’m not a know it all. I’m a feel it all. Being willing to feel it all is being willing to be vulnerable, and that includes being vulnerable to having love with others.

W – I love you.

Y – I love you too.

In this blog series, Mission To Me Journal, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited and vulnerable journal conversations with Yeshua, who he experiences as an ascended teacher energy available to everyone.These blogs offer Wayne’s process and digestions with Yeshua as he undergoes internal and external process to exodus to Mexico with his wife Jillian and Christopher Tydeman to be in eco-conscious community. Read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher and Ending The Money Madness With Wayne And Yeshua for more conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Freeing Yourself From A False Life And Claiming Your Soul Purpose: Conversations With Divine Mother About Global Collapse

Published on September 10, 2014August 2, 2017 by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jillian Vriend

Jillian: Hello, Mother. The camp is quiet in the moment and I felt a desire to connect with you.

Divine Mother: I’m glad, Jillian. I feel a desire to connect with you as well.

J: I’m surprised that I’m not feeling more overwhelm and anxiety right now, considering that we are leaving in four days. Just four days and we’ll on our adventure to the States and then heading into Mexico in about a month. We’ve been planning this for what feels like forever and now it is finally happening.

DM: You’ve not just been planning, you’ve also been feeling. Feeling reactions of yourself and parts of you during this time of adjustment and transition. This is why you feel less overwhelm and anxiety.

J: I get that and, also, it just feels so right. I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life than I am that this is the right move for me and for those coming with me. It’s not so much about an absolute knowing as it is a feeling of being held and supported by you that makes it so clear and easier to navigate.

DM: For people who are not in surrender to Divine guidance, there is a feeling of uncertainty and lack of direction to their lives and the decisions that they make. They are in reaction rather than in response. Because you have been open to connect with me and, most importantly, accept guidance from me, you’ve been able to benefit from the clarity of purpose that brings.

J: That doesn’t mean that I don’t have moments of fear, anxiety, doubt, etc. Accepting guidance from you doesn’t shut down my feeling capacity, as you won’t allow it to be used to not feel.

DM: Yes. Rather than using ‘surrender to God’s will’ as a way to numb out with bliss or conviction or evangelical zeal, I offer the frequencies of my love with a complete respect for your sovereignty and an invitation to feel all the reactions that parts of you have to this love and guidance.

J: This is difficult to describe in words. I’m struggling to take what you are vibing to me right now and put it into words and concepts that people can understand.

DM: Don’t try to help them understand. Help them feel. Help them see. Help them heal.

J: Is that still my purpose here? It feels sometimes like I am just about practical matters and content-based living.

DM: Responding to practical matters has been important and it’s a grounded place in you that allows you to do that. You’ll need that to establish your gardens and shelters in your homestead and to remember many practical skills of survival that you’ve forgotten in this modern age. Yet, you are more than that too and your consciousness provides the context for the content.

J: I was reading last night a book by David Icke and he describes the sense that an awakened soul is aware that they are infinite awareness having a human experience. And that they are in the world but not of the world. That deeply resonated for me.

DM: Yes, and that can be a painful reality at times as most people are in the world and have mistakenly come to believe that they are also of the world. I believe that you call this being, “fused with content”.

J: Yes and with self identity supported by the false self and conditioning received from our birth family, society, friends, educational systems. Most people feel like slaves to me in a deep way. Slaves to content and to the medications and drugs they use to remain numb and asleep. Slaves to following the rules and conforming to others. Slaves to money and the contracts it binds them to and the meaningless jobs they undertake to keep it all going.

DM: The false self has imprisoned the heart, mind, soul, and body of most people. As you said, made slaves of them. Yet, ultimately, they are slave and master both. They hold the keys to their own freedom. All they have to do is see and feel how they are in a life that imprisons them, but that they are not of that life. They need to begin feeling the essence of their sacred humanity and the goodness of their human heart.

J: When we’ve told people about our plans to go to Mexico and live there off-grid in an eco-village, many people have expressed an envy at our ‘freedom’ to do this. As if we had some key or secret formula to liberate ourselves that they do not. And while it’s true that we’ve been blessed to get very good paint jobs lately that will fund our trip and buy our land, we’ve had to make very tough choices the last several years that have led to where we are today. And we’ve had to feel our way there, negotiating as we go. Letting go of all relationships that don’t serve our higher purpose and self. Letting go of most of our material possessions and, soon, letting go of modern conveniences to move into a more sustainable and off-grid lifestyle. So while it seems simple what we are doing, it has taken much emotional and spiritual healing to be able to do it. Much extracting ourselves from the false self world and the conditioning grip it holds on us.

DM: Yes! I’m glad to hear you declare that as it advocates for what others will need to do to become masters of their own authentic lives.

J: It seems rather hopeless, Mother, that many people will want to do this.

DM: They will be given ‘no choice’ in the matter with what is coming very soon. It will feel like no choice as circumstances ‘force’ them to give up their old life to embrace a new one.

J: I feel like many people would rather kill themselves than do that.

DM; That will be a likely outcome for many, yes.

J: Whew…that is heavy. I feel the heaviness of that in my heart.

DM: The contextual piece here is that every person that is alive on the planet earth during this time has chosen to be here during this time of great transition and death and rebirth. The questions for them to feel into that can provide a lifeline for them are: Why have I chosen to be here? What purpose do I have in being here? If they can feel why they are here and connect with a meaningful purpose, then whatever they are giving up of their old life will feel false in comparison. It is highly unlikely that their ultimate purpose is about ending their own life.

J: But maybe some people are just meant to not make it through what is coming. I have a fairly strong picture of what is coming with your support and I can barely stand holding it at times, wondering how I will bear it all.

DM: But you aren’t meant to bare it all, Jillian. This is the gift of foresight that I give to you because you have done the inner work to be awakened before there is ‘no choice.’ You will bear and witness what you are meant to with a trust that this is so.

J: Well, at times a trust and at times not so much.

DM: Of course, this will ebb and flow. For others who have foresight about the future and the very obvious consequences to unconscious actions that the human race has engaged with for many, many years…..for these people, they will have a sense of navigating the waves rather than being crushed by them.

J: Thank you, Mother, for the reminders about connecting with soul purpose as a means to navigate the coming changes. I’m going to go bake some oatmeal cookies now.

DM: Good, enjoy the simple things while holding the complex ones and you’ll be fine.

J: Thank you.

Jillian Vriend is co-creator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life and currently on an exodus to an ecovillage in mexico. You can read more about connection with the Divine Mother in Jillian’s book, In The Arms Of Mother.

Exodus And Finding Sanctuary: Conversations With Divine Mother About Global Collapse

Published on August 22, 2014August 2, 2017 by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jillian Vriend

Jillian: Hello, Mother. I felt that I wanted to journal with you again in public with so much shifting and changing in my life and in the world. It feels like things are happening fast now.

Divine Mother: Hello, Jillian. I welcome a public dialogue with you. As you know, I enjoy talking with you this way as it reaches your heart and has the potential to reach others. It doesn’t matter to me whether people reading this believe that it is me you are talking with. Only that the message goes into them.

J: What is the message you’d want them to take in, Mother?

DM: Well, it’s getting more urgent, isn’t it? The message is that time is running out on the false self created world of industry and unlimited growth. Time is false, yes, an idea created by the mind to hold hostage over arising reality. But, time in the sense of playouts coming in the immediate future is real. These playouts are consequences for a disconnected and wounded relationship that the human species has had with the earth, with animals, and with each other.

J: We are feeling a sense of collapse coming strongly this fall and winter. I wanted to go over some of the conditions that lead me to feel that way with you, but, also, I wanted you to offer guidance for people around what they can do and feel personally.

DM: Let’s start with what is happening right now and put it into a larger context together. There is much content available in your ‘news stories’, yet there is very little context to allow the heart and soul to digest it.

J: I guess the big one to me, besides ever looming climate change crisis, is the intensity of the wars that seem to be springing up at an increasing rate. I find that I don’t have a lot of energy to understand the facts behind the wars in the Ukraine or the Middle East, yet they feel out of control in a new way. Maybe I’m just so weary of ‘dropping bombs’ as a means to end war. More violence to end violence makes no heart sense to me.

DM: War is a manifestation of unhealed inner violence. It is the false self’s outed expression of an inner sense of powerlessness. This sense of powerlessness and unworthiness has led humans to resolve conflicts with increasingly sophisticated and devastating weapons. No one ‘wins’ in this scenario. Empires that have been built on the spilled blood of men and that need more blood to maintain them cannot be sustained.

J: Wow, that so goes in. The other increasingly alarming situation is the growing numbers of people dying from the ebola virus in western Africa. Our human history is full of virus epidemics although it is frightening to imagine one now.

DM: Viral bacterial are natural and nature’s way of maintaining balance. This is difficult to say and my heart strains as I say it, but the human population has expanded to numbers beyond what your planet can sustain. This has to be corrected in some way and, unfortunately, all the means of doing that lead to the deaths of many people.

J: That’s the aspect of collapse that is so hard to digest. I wish it could be different.

DM: Me too, my daughter. As you know, I have not interfered with the course of human evolution as it would have been going against your sovereign choice to do so. Yet for those who connect with me and surrender to my guidance, I offer them that death and rebirth are natural and inevitable cycles. I don’t offer protection from necessary death, yet I do offer comfort during the process.

J: There are other things happening too, yet I also wanted you to talk about what people can do in response to what is happening.

DM: There are two possibilities for people right now: immediate exodus to find sanctuary or create sanctuary out of where they already are. Sanctuary is a safe place where they can practice self reliance, ideally within a conscious community.

J: I feel self reliance has a practical aspect to it and an emotional and spiritual aspect to it. The practical aspect is about meeting for yourself, or within community, the four keys to human survival: food, water, shelter, and safety without reliance on the government to provide it for you and in balance with nature. Examples are growing your own food is an environmentally conscious way through permaculture practices. Finding natural drinking waters sources from fresh water springs or lakes. Creating shelters out of naturally sourced materials that meet your basic needs with minimal impact on the earth. Moving to less densely populated areas with opportunities for all four keys to human survival to be much more likely in a self reliant way. I wrote more about that here.

DM: Yes, these practical considerations are actually about going back to the roots of your species when your survival was held by the sovereign heart of each individual and you were more in touch with your animal nature and its impulses toward self reliance.

J: Going back to our tribal roots yet retaining the maturation of our egoic consciousness?

DM: Yes, exactly. The evolution of your egoic consciousness has been as natural as a seed growing into a plant. Yet, the egoic consciousness has also developed a falseness that to the degree it goes unconstructed leads to so many of the issues that your species has now and that we’ve been talking about.

J: I offered that there is an important emotional and spiritual aspect to self reliance. Deconstructing the false self and healing our emotional bodies is what I feel is the emotional aspect. And, you’ve already mentioned, surrender to and connection with you as the spiritual one.

DM: Deconstructing of the false self can happen to some degree by choice through the process you offer with SoulFullHeart and by other practices. It also happens when the construct falls away and the false self is ‘forced’ to give up the things it has become attached to.

J: I feel like that is a lot to digest for today, Mother. I look forward to connecting with you again soon. I feel that I need to and that others do as well.

DM: Yes, Jillian. I have more to say, of course, but I respect your need to breathe and digest. Until next time, my daughter.

J: Yes, until next time.

Jillian Vriend is co-creator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life and currently planning an exodus to an ecovillage in mexico.

Actions And Consequences: Conversations With Divine Mother About Global Collapse

Published on June 15, 2014August 2, 2017 by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

It is my compassion and deep love for humanity, for my human children as you said, that urges me to do what must be done even if it means the destruction of you all. I do not WANT that, Jillian. But my desires are secondary to the free will sovereignty that you have all been gifted with. And, many humans DO want to die and DO NOT feel the consequences of killing other species, each other, or the living planet. I feel compassion for these humans entangled in social and cultural conditioning and weighed down by emotional and spiritual wounding. But THEY do not feel compassion for anyone else, themselves, or the planet. And there are consequences for living in this non-living, non-loving, fear-based, unconscious state.

Jillian: Hello, Mother. I feel a sense of urgency on this rainy day in June.

Divine Mother: Hello, Jillian. Yes…I can feel that in you. Digesting what you’ve been reading and learning recently?

J: I feel like I have so much to ask you about related to the very real threats to the survival of the human species..yet I know you won’t give me reassurances, false hope, or specific timelines.

DM: Ask me what is in your heart to ask, Jillian, and I’ll respond with what I feel you need even if it isn’t what you think you want.

J: Mother….is the human race doomed? Are we looking at near term extinction in the next decade or even the next few years?

DM: I feel your tears and pain as you ask me that question, Jillian. I feel your despair and compassion.

J: As much as I can be frustrated by the actions and choices of unconscious people, I feel pain at the suffering and loss coming to us as a consequence for our short sighted and false self-based actions.

DM: So, you do feel there will be consequences?

J: How can there not be? That’s how the natural world works. Cause and effect. We have lived blindly so long to this basic principal…drugged by access to easy oil, easy food, easy water, easy shelter, easy life. Even as everything being easy has still made most people miserable.

DM: Cause and effect is the rule of nature. Yet as humans have removed themselves from nature by seeking to dominate it, they have delayed the consequences of their actions. Delayed, yet not ceased.

J: One of the consequences of our actions could be the end of our species.

DM: Yes. And up to 200 species are dying every day because of the actions of humans. Other species and the earth are bearing the brunt of the consequences of human action or inaction. Yet, nature seeks balance and it will find it.

J: It is difficult to imagine how that balance won’t mean adjusting the overpopulation of this planet by the reduction of many people. I feel your lack of sentimentality as we talk about this, Mother. I feel how much you love your human children, so why does your heart feel almost cold to me as we talk about this?

DM: This is my dark mother face, Jillian. The energy of doing what must be done even if it is painful in order to put things back in balance. The energy of tornadoes, storms, volcanoes. Even diseases. That which is out of balance must be righted again.

J: And yet I’ve experienced the compassion of your heart, the vastness of it, for several years now.

DM: It is my compassion and deep love for humanity, for my human children as you said, that urges me to do what must be done even if it means the destruction of you all. I do not WANT that, Jillian. But my desires are secondary to the free will sovereignty that you have all been gifted with. And, many humans DO want to die and DO NOT feel the consequences of killing other species, each other, or the living planet. I feel compassion for these humans entangled in social and cultural conditioning and weighed down by emotional and spiritual wounding. But THEY do not feel compassion for anyone else, themselves, or the planet. And there are consequences for living in this non-living, unconscious state.

J: I just feel like crying, Mother. I feel what you mean and I accept it but it just breaks my heart.

DM: As it breaks mine, Jillian. Sometimes we need to break our hearts open in order to truly let in and be with love.

J: And, I feel like I want guidance somehow around how to be with this heartbreak and what service looks like now for me and for SoulFullHeart. I feel the ash in the air, burning down of the structure that we created the last two years of sessions, space holding, group weekends, charging a fee for sessions…all of it feels like it is irrelevant compared to the very real possibilities of global collapse that we are feeling together.

DM: You created a form to contain the love and service that you had to offer others. The form is burning away, yes, in a necessary way. But the desire to serve love remains, yes?

J: Yes. I just don’t know the form yet.

DM: Form follows desire. Your desire is leading you to explore your world, to adventure to somewhere warmer and simplier in culture. Follow that and I will bring you connections, synchronicity…I will bring you opportunities to serve.

J: They just might not be in the way or structure that I am used to?

DM: Exactly. As you digest the ash in the air reality of your modern world, you are letting go of your attachments…the few that you had that is. This is the gift of ‘getting real’. Not for what it informs your mind, but for what it enlivens in your heart.

J: I so feel that gift even as it has been difficult to let in what we are facing as a species. Yet, my experience has been over the last ten years that ‘getting real’ is always preferable to deluding yourself, even if it hurts a lot at times.

DM: I feel the flame of your heart and soul being stripped of its form, Jillian, and therefore able to shine all the more brightly as a beacon to those ready to see it. I see it able to catalyze and penetrate more deeply what is authentic and vulnerable in others.

J: I think I feel what you mean, Mother. It’s what I want to be.

DM: And so it is what you are becoming. And it is the invitation from me to all my sacred human children….that their raw essence is one of love. Many of them have too much form, too many layers, to strip away this life and maybe will experience this in another life or even in another dimension where planets like Earth also exist.

J: What is the biggest thing that most people need to strip away, Mother?

DM: There are many answers to that question, Jillian. But I prefer first to ask rather than tell. What was the biggest thing you’ve had to strip away?

J: The first thing that comes to mind is to strip away the conditioning I’ve received. Social conditioning, family conditioning, relationship conditioning, western world conditioning, religious conditioning, mainstream psychology and spirituality conditioning, nutritional conditioning..and on and on. I’ve been in a process of deconstructing my mainstream conditioning and then experiencing what arises from my authentic essence instead to replace it. Lately, it’s been about stripping away conditioning related to unsustainable lifestyle choices.

DM: That is a major de-conditioning process, Jillian. It doesn’t feel like many souls signed up for that. But for those who did and feel an ache to experience how it feels when the authentic arises after deconstructing the false, then I would offer that the biggest stripping away would be of the denial and blocks that keep them from healing their own hearts and souls. Whatever conditioning they received that this was not important would need to be let go and a priority made of their own healing. And an urgent priority at that…

J: Yes, and this going inside ourselves eventually leads to a stripping away of social and relationship conditioning, which I feel is a huge block on the expression of our authenticity. For example, today is father’s day and it just about makes me choke to feel the congestion of duty, obligation, inauthenticity, and nonvulnerability that categorize most relationships that people have with their fathers. Yet, we all receive conditioning around this ‘holiday’ and feel a pressure to reach out or spend time with or appreciate our fathers. The same is true on mother’s day, birthdays, christmas, anniversaries. It is difficult to feel love on days such as these. Days that aren’t real anyway but been denoted as such mostly be greeting card companies. I have said no to most of this for years now.

DM: And so stripping away involves saying no to what most people hold as their reality.

J: A reality that is in general making most of them miserable and unhappy. A reality that creates a slave race out of humans because the conditioning we receive and pass on creates inauthentic actions and choices that lead to more emotional wounding. The conditioning creates toxic and dead relationships, especially marriages. I feel like the topic of dead marriages is a good one for another day though.

DM: Yes, that is fine. Jillian…..I just want you to feel that even during this time of great turning and death, it is being held with love. Death is necessary to free up love.

J: Even if there are no humans left to experience it?

DM: Yes. It is the most real thing there is and your world has been built on a false foundation of fear. My desire is for that foundation to crumble and maybe some of my human children will survive that crumbling. I do not know. But, what I do know is that love will survive. Even if it only exists in the future between the molecules of water and the sun or the blades of grass and the insect crawling on them.

J: Ok, deep breath…going to go digest this now and I do feel your love, Mother, and it does hold the heartbreak, even if it doesn’t alleviate it.

DM: Good, Jillian. Good to go feel now.

Jillian Vriend is co-creator of SoulFullHeart, parts work facilitator, author of a book about connecting with the Divine Mother, on this blog, and sacred humanity-Divine Feminine teacher-student.

Moving From Denial To Conscious Choice: Conversations With Divine Mother About Global Collapse

Published on June 12, 2014August 2, 2017 by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jillian Vriend

Feel your pain. Feel your desires. Let both lead you to take necessary actions as quickly as possible while still feeling yourself before, during, and after. Seek out resources, such as what you are offering with SoulFullHeart, that can help you make this transition. Do not be fooled by denial’s message that you have all the time in the world. Wake up to your pain and your desire and let it lead you to claim your life and your sacred humanity.

Jillian: Hello Mother, I haven’t talked with you in a while, at least here in public.

Divine Mother: No and I’ve missed it, Jillian.

J: Me too. What have you missed?

DM: There is an intimacy and an immediacy to this medium for me that I enjoy very much. This is why I feel that the internet is the great equalizer and connector…until the technology behind it collapses, that is.

J: That’s what was in my heart to talk to you about today, Mother. I have been feeling quite strongly for a few years now how we are currently in a phase of the collapse of the systems that the false self has created: economic, political, social, religious, environmental, etc. These systems were necessary and yet, also, they need to collapse to rebirth a new way that is based on authenticity, love, and the sacred human self.

DM: Well said, Jillian. You feel conceptually and contextually in a beautiful way that can be of service to those who want it. Many souls are waking up to the reality of the collapses that are happening in so many areas, especially those who have already been personally impacted by them. It is easy to get overly immersed in content though….researching WHAT is happening to the cost of not feeling WHY it is happening.

J: I think many people feel why it is happening yet don’t recognize the false self aspect of themselves or that the development of the false self has been a necessary phase of evolution in the human species, as you have offered to us. As a reference, you and I talked about the false self development in this post if people want to read it.

DM: As you and Wayne offered in your talk to others about this topic a few weeks ago, denial is the fuel of the false self to keep the current systems in place.

J: Yes, we feel that denial has a strong currency in the world and that it is used to obscure the ‘facts’ from being presented, to slow practical action from being taken, to numb feelings of unhappiness that would lead to authentic desire expressing. We feel that it comes from the wounded sense of a separate self. A self that feels separate from you, from others, from an authentic core inside needs denial to keep its current world intact. We felt there are four main areas of denial shaping the world that we live in: military/industrial/economic which denies the integrated self; religious structures which deny our sacred humanity and birthright to experience direct connection with the Divine; the New Age love and light picture that denies death as a path to rebirth; and our birth family and social conditioning which deny our true emotional needs and authentic expression.

DM: That is a wonderful delineation of denial, Jillian. And what would you offer is the path to heal denial into awakening consciousness?

J: We offer through SoulFullHeart that connecting with parts of ourselves or subpersonalities in an emotionally conscious way leads to awakening in all areas of our lives. This is an internal process, yet it changes how we see and feel the external world. Also, healing our soul wounds that block connection to Divine source through connecting with our Daemon or soul guardian consciousness allows us to feel our sacred humanity as a reflection of being your children. In SoulFullHeart, we offer a path of de-conditioning from birth family and social conditioning that arises out of connecting with parts of ourselves and feeling what they advocate for in terms of connection or taking space. And, SoulFullHeart offers that it is feeling our pain and embracing our shadow, accepting the natural cycles of death and letting go that allow for rebirth.

DM: When you are in denial of a necessary change or death, you can only be a victim to it when it inevitably happens. If you can feel and then choose, that makes all the difference in how you experience the change.

J: Can you say more?

DM: When you ‘let something happen to you’ you are dis-empowered and all you can do is respond. Sometimes, this is the necessary and surrendered path. However, many people live from this default state at all times. They are in denial of and resistant to the changes that they NEED to make in their lives and so they can only experience changes that happen as traumatic and not digestable because of it. They can eventually accept and adapt to these changes, yet it is very different to make these changes from a conscious place that is feeling all there is to feel before, during, and after.

J: This is what we feel the sacred human self can do as it is differentiated from the false self and other parts. It can make the space for this digestion and choosing process.

DM: Yes, which is what you are currently holding as you digest and choose to move to Mexico in October.

J: I would describe my digestion process around that since we first felt the call to do it a few weeks ago as an up and down, ebb and flow process. There have been moments of real excitement and anticipation then moments of fear and anxiety contraction. The contractions don’t stop the momentum around practical planning for the trip, but I do make space to feel what is going on rather than powering through them. I don’t deny that they are there.

DM: This is an important point. If you make the conscious choice to make a change, then you can hold and respond to it – similar to the way a pregnant woman responds and holds both the positive and difficult changes that are happening in her body as the baby grows inside of her. The pregnant woman knows that something is dying (her previous life before she had children or her body as it was before it was pregnant) and yet also that something will be born out of the dying. This is the process of labor: the contractions that cause pain produce life.

J: I would say the human species is going through more dying than birth labor right now. As Wayne says, it really feels like a hospice phase. Or as part of my Daemon named Dys would say, ‘It is an ash in the air time.’

DM: Ash in the air, yes. And toxins in the water. And poisons in the food. It is a great phase of dying of that which can no longer be sustained.

J: I feel the heaviness of this time we are in, Mother. I feel this deep sense of death and loss that is coming. It is hanging over me at all times even as I feel joy in the moment. It actually brings more poignancy to the moment to feel what is coming, similar to how some dying people feel about their lives after they receive their diagnosis.

DM: Continue to feel the heaviness and the joy both, Jillian. There is sacredness in both. Sacredness to the process of death, labor, and birthing. You are living in a highly sacred time.

J: And a highly scary one.

DM: Yes, it can be scary for parts of you to feel the changes coming. Yet, as you said, feeling this fear and not denying it is the key. Can you imagine how much power and love would be accessible if world leaders could just say, “I am afraid” and feel and share their fears rather than unfeelingly ordering yet another wave of drone strikes or ground troop attacks?

J: Wow, yes, I feel how powerful that would be. The fears that they are trying so hard to deny by taking violent actions would be able to be surfaced and felt which would actually give them access to more authentic power inside of them. I imagine that their choices would be much different. One thing that I feel fear about is that the men who we placed authority on to have their fingers on the buttons that lead to mass destruction make decisions from their unfelt fears, pain, and congestion. These are the people that we declare our leaders in a time such as this?

DM: They are a reflection of the systems that they are going to help collapse. Those with awakened heart and soul consciousness will be called upon to lead and serve when the great birth labor phase arises out of the ashes. Yes, people like you and Wayne.

J: It has been difficult for our message to be received now, before this collapse. It’s like we are invisible in a big way and what we are trying to bring can’t penetrate the layers of denial.

DM: Yes, that is an aspect of what you are experiencing. And you have the next phase of your own journey to undertake that will draw those who are in resonance.

J: That’s what it feels like to me. Mother, I wanted to ask you: What would you guide someone to do who feels the collapses that are happening?

DM: Feel your pain. Feel your desires. Let both lead you to take necessary actions as quickly as possible while still feeling yourself before, during, and after. Seek out resources, such as what you are offering with SoulFullHeart, that can help you make this transition. Do not be fooled by denial’s message that you have all the time in the world. Wake up to your pain and your desire and let it lead you to claim your life and your sacred humanity.

J: Thank you, Mother. I think we’ll complete on that note for today.

DM: Yes, ok, feels as if we have more conversations to have about this in public, yes?

J: Yes, I was feeling that too and I am very open to that. Just as Wayne is open to Yeshua’s guidance and connection during this phase of transition for us and the world.

DM: Good. I look forward to that.

Jillian Vriend is co-creator of SoulFullHeart, parts work facilitator, author of a book about connecting with the Divine Mother and on this blog, and sacred humanity-Divine Feminine teacher.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 1: Money Is Energy

Published on April 21, 2014June 6, 2020 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

Money never lies. It can’t lie. Want to see the truth? Look at the dashboard of the money. Money is always and forever only energy. Energy that can flow in abundance and be impeded in scarcity.

Wayne – Yeshua, This is Wayne. Are you there?

Yeshua – I am always here. Where have you been? 🙂

W – I’ve been busy, too busy, but I miss you. We talked last about talking about money together and I wanted to see if it’s time.

Y – Time?

W – You know what I mean…

Y – I do, and sorry for being testy right off the bat. I miss you and I miss our connecting.

W – I miss you too. Christopher [Gabriel] tells me he misses my conversations with you. Jillian [Jelelle] and Kathleen [Kalayna] tell me they are waiting. Fran says she took notes from our last conversations.

Y – And you are waiting for the right time?

W – Well, I don’t know what to say about that. I could go off on how busy it’s been or how full it’s felt having adjusted to living for a couple months now in an RV in a campground.

Y – Time is an illusion.

W – Okay…

Y – I’d like to hear the RV stories, I just wanted to dive in.

W – I like that about you. ‘No pissing around,’ we said last time. Partly to offend the offendable, and partly out of a desire to blow shit up…to get on with something that so wants to be gotten on with.

Y – And Money is an illusion too.

W – I know that. I should say I’ve heard that before and even made some sense of it, but inevitably the illusion becomes more of a reality. My time, energy and anxiety seem to default to something like ‘my life revolves around money.’ Part of the reason I’ve waited to have the space for this conversation with you was waiting for a time when the money concerns are looked after in the moment. As In ‘now I’m free to be creative and give what I truly have and want to give.’

Y – And have fun giving?

W – The funnest fun actually.

Y – So you’re saying that it feels like a lot of the time, or most of the time possibly, it feels like you don’t have the time or money to have fun?

W – Pretty much.

Y – Why would you do anything that you don’t have fun doing?

W – You mean ‘fun’ as in gaining reward and pleasure, doing what we most deeply enjoy…

Y – Anything less isn’t fun. I’m not talking about the boring trash that passes as fun for so many people. Most people have no clue what fun is. It’s like anyone who’s had an orgasm thinks they know what it’s about.

W – What is it about?

Y – It’s about not knowing what it’s about, and knowing you don’t know. Which is what allows you entry into real unending learning.

W – I like learning about orgasms.

Y – I know you do.

W – Do you think we’ll be able to stay on track and uncover some really cool shit about money together?

Y – I do. And we’ll kill some sacred cows about sex and time while we’re at it, too.

W – We’re not sounding too smug right now?

Y – Too smug for some for sure, but most of them will never find this writing anyway. To those who do find this writing and find being direct and plain and transparent offensive, I’d say that you need to live some life for the sole purpose of coming to terms with what you really want. Because until you know what you want, what you really want, you are not of much use to life, love, others, or God. You are use-less instead of use-full.

W – I’ve wanted conflicting things for much of my life and I’m sure I still do.

Y – And is it fun?

W – No, it’s conflict.

Y – The only conflict worth having is conflict that brings you back to real fun.

W – And all this has to do with money I’m sure…?

Y – If money IS anything, It’s an agreement. It’s an agreement about how we will exchange energy. We’ll get into that I’m sure, but for now, I want to come to an agreement about we will exchange energy in this dialogue.

W – Okay.

Y – For starters, I definitely don’t want to do all the teaching, more like half teacher, half student.

W – Okay, then we’ll have a half a series on money?

Y – No wise guy. You get to do the other half.

W – I get it only works that way.

Y – And why does it only work that way?

W – When any one of us give over all of our power over to the teacher and see ourselves as students only, we abdicate our sovereignty and our power and that just hurts.

Y – And been there, done that right?

W – Enough lifetimes to be finally done with it.

Y – Good. This is an exchange of energy. At times you bring the questions, at times I will. That’s coquesting.

W – ‘Co-questing?’ You’re just gonna keep making up words aren’t you?

Y – What word do you know that wasn’t made up?

W – If the human race is anything, it’s making itself up as it goes.

Y – Yes, teacher.

W – There’s the ‘Word Of God.’

Y – There’s the word of Wayne.

W – Where’s this going?

Y – You started it.

W – Yes, I did. Maybe all of my former esteem for the bible as the Word Of God was really about a journey of coming to terms with the fear of my own bigness, with the power of my own words? With being a god and a man at the same time?

Y – Maybe?

W – I’m using the power of suggestion here and of being in ‘not-knowing’ as well.

Y – Okay, fair enough as long as it’s not a shrink from hiding your truth. The world is starving for your truth. Men and women have hidden their truth under a bushel of ‘thee truth’ for so long, and that time is now up. That’s why we are in the midst of a great shift, and we need conversations like this one to assist in the birth of what’s coming.

W – And money has been a container for the power of our truth, hasn’t it?

Y – Money never lies. It can’t lie. Want to see the truth? Look at the dashboard of the money. Money is always and forever only energy. Energy that can flow in abundance and be impeded in scarcity. Yes, much of the truth of one’s life can be seen in our relationship to money. Whether you’re stuck in a rat-race, or you’re unfulfilled with all the money in the world, money only and always reflects an internal reality.

W – I think we opened up this question more than we addressed it today.

Y – Insight can only come in response to the quality of the quest. It’s a flow, a current, a currency. No question, no quest.

W – I have lots of questions.

Y – Good. Treasure them. We need them. Guard them.

W – The deadest man is the man who still breathes, but has lost his quest.

Y – Wow, Wayne, looks like we started something.

W – ‘Walking with Jesus,… talking with Jesus,… all along the way…’

Y – ‘Turn in your hymnals please to the third stanza of hymn number 389.’

W – ‘All together now.’

Y – We’ve so ached for so many centuries to find something. We’ve given our hearts and souls. Our lives, our time, our money.

W – Only to find out that what we thought we knew, we don’t know.

Y – And not knowing is only and always what leads to knowing…

W – Which in turn leads to more not knowing.

Y – Exactly.

W- So this book might turn out to be one big disappointment?

Y – Only for those allergic to fun.

W – I missed you, man

Y – I missed you too.

W – How much of this can we stand?

Y – We’re about to find out, aren’t we?

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.org for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Conversation With Divine Mother: Creating A Healing God And Goddess Experience

Published on April 10, 2014April 10, 2014 by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

Wounded people create a God who wounds them. Healing people create a God who heals them. Even if I do not exist as a “Divine Mother” presence and you cannot prove that I do actually……I exist as an offering from your healing and joyful heart to others. You have created me out of your desire to experience a very different God and Goddess energy from that which you have known for many lifetimes.

Jillian: Hello, Divine Mother..I’d like to connect with you this morning.

Divine Mother: Jillian! Yes…hello.

Jillian: I haven’t connected with you directly in a little while and not on this blog for awhile either after we completed our 60 days together. It’s not so much that I miss you since I feel you around me all the time…it’s that I just enjoy feeling you in this direct form and way through shared conversation.

DM: I enjoy it as well, my daughter. And, yes, I am with you always….in the trees, in the creek rushing by your home, in the birds you hear outside right now, in your love with Wayne, in your orgasms, in your workouts at the gym.

J: I find the feeling of that comforting, even as I get that could feel really invasive to some people. Parts of them would feel like they had no escape or privacy from you!

DM: I am their mother….their divine mama if you will. They were not meant to have space from me. That doesn’t mean that I want to own or control any of you. I do not have those desires in my heart. Yet, I am invested in you all and I am present to you all.

J: Your investment and presence without need to control or own is a difficult thing to let in. The god of mainstream religions is so punishing and critical…judging if someone is a sinner or not; going to heaven or not; saved or not. It’s hard for me to talk about because I feel so far removed from that kind of god, especially since feeling you the way that I do.

DM: Parts of people, their false self especially, need a god like that because it reflects how they feel about themselves; it reflects what they have known as love and connection. We can’t change people’s experience of God until they start to heal their own heart and soul.

J: It feels like you are emphasizing emotional healing even over connecting with you.

DM: Without emotional healing, people cannot connect with me.

J: At all?

DM: A bit….even through the filter of Catholicism, connection with me comes through the energy and face of Mary. Yet, it is still a packaged and controlled presentation of me managed by the corrupt and irrelevant organization of the Church. A trickle of my love comes through, but it is so much less than what is possible!

J: For many people, a trickle of Divine love is more than they can even let in…again, because of what you mentioned around soul and heart wounding. I feel sad when I feel that and a well of compassion in my heart for how the human species is in so much suffering right now, so much of it tied to our heart congestion that blocks your love and our own self love.

DM: Feel your compassion, Jillian, and your sadness….it is important going forward.

J: I’d like to talk about this in our videoblog series today.

DM: Oh, yes, I would like that! I love your videos. It is a more intimate experience of your and Wayne’s energy. And sharing mine with others as well through that medium is nourishing for me.

J: I feel like you have one of your messages for humankind brewing today.

DM: Yes….your heart is happy today and therefore receptive to delivering it without transcending any of your own emotional process.

J: My heart is happy…I’m in joy over my life right now even with the unknowns about money earning, SoulFullHeart providing for us, etc. I’m in joy over the love I experience with Wayne on almost a moment by moment basis. I’m in joy over those I have the honor of serving, feeling their parts, serving them to heal and claim their bigness, becoming who they were meant to be. I’ve earned this joy through the tears I was willing to feel. The things I was willing to give up that were causing unreasonable suffering.

DM: I am in joy to feel your joy, Jillian. And, yes, you earned it through feeling your tears and your pain and giving up anything false that didn’t serve you any longer. It is difficult to have people understand this, isn’t it? They feel your joy and are almost resistant to it? Or they devalue it in some way?

J: I think it’s that their false self is suspicious of it. The false self doesn’t trust joy or goodness or love because they haven’t experienced that it lasts or that they can trust it. Their suspicion is understandable. Also, authentic joy doesn’t hold any value in our culture……it’s an unrecognizable currency.

DM: Yet, this can make for loneliness at times for you and for Wayne?

J: Yes, it has at times. I’m not feeling that now, but I have in the past….especially for parts of me.

DM: Being authentically joyful in a world that is in so much suffering is a beacon, Jillian. Authentic joy that has been earned through feeling the pain in your heart will shine the way for others…provides a light for them to navigate their own tears, their own difficult choices, their own parts.

J: Thank you for offering that, Mother. I don’t want to dim or devalue my joy or any other aspects of my emotional reality.

DM: Being a beacon means that you will draw suspicion and resistance at times…yet you will also draw those who are ready and wanting of what you have to offer.

J: Yes, I have experienced some of both. The resistance doesn’t hurt as much as it once did. I still feel a charge inside of me when I feel it and I want to feel that more with the part or parts of me who feel that. But it doesn’t take up as much energy as it used it.

DM: I can feel that as well inside of you. Perhaps you are not taking it as personally now and feeling more how drawing resistance from someone is not really about you but about their resistance to love that was already inside of them?

J: I do feel that and I understand it because that was true for me in so many ways. For example, part of me held an ideal around romantic love for which I experienced some authentic frequencies with Chris, my first husband. Yet, it was really unknown for me and therefore parts of me resisted experiencing the kind of love that I transact with Wayne….until I had healed enough to be able to be with it.

DM: This is such an important point. I would like to share this more in our vlog today.

J: It’s somehow endearing to hear you say “vlog”….such a modern word!

DM: I am a modern goddess!:) My language matches the times, matches the person who is connecting with me, matches the energy that they most need to feel.

J: This is something I’ve taught about you, but it still amazes me to feel it for myself. Someone could say I was just talking with a part of me and that’s why you feel and sound like me.

DM: So what if I am a part of you? I’m a part of you that offers you real love, guidance, support, investment, and constant presence. That’s a valuable part to feel, no?

J: Yes! Good point!

DM: As we said already, wounded people create a God who wounds them. Healing people create a God who heals them. Even if I do not exist as a “Divine Mother” presence and you cannot prove that I do actually……I exist as an offering from your healing and joyful heart to others. You have created me out of your desire to experience a very different God and Goddess energy from that which you have known for many lifetimes.

J: Feels odd for me to let in that I created you.

DM: Everyone creates their own God experience, Jillian. That’s how personal it is, even though they act like it is not personal at all and is held by someone else or the church or a pastor or a priest.

J: Woah…Mother, this feels big to let in. I feel my heart and soul perk up around it.

DM: People make themselves powerless before a God that they claim they didn’t create and that they let someone else create for them. They also make themselves powerless in relationship to healing themselves because they falsely believe that they are stuck with whatever they emotionally experience about their lives. You are offering a way of life with SoulFullHeart that allows them to find their power again, create and discover their own relationship with God, and their own emotions.

J: Yes, that is exactly what we offer…and without having power over them ourselves.

DM: This is key because it would not work without that being true.

J: Thank you, Mother, for this conversation. I’m not totally tracking mentally right now why it feels so important but I can feel it move through my heart and soul as important.

DM: Good…let it move. And let me move through you today in your vlog.

J: Yes, I will, for sure.

Jillian Vriend is co-creator of SoulFullHeart, parts work facilitator, author of a book and on this blog, and sacred humanity-Divine Feminine teacher. For more information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, visit soulfullheart.com.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 2: Feeling-Based Currency

Published on April 9, 2014June 6, 2020 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

The fear of the flow ending is real. The money madness we want to speak to is where we offer that the fear of being out of the flow, inherent in simply being alive, has created a false world. A world that doesn’t appear very false at all, yet is designed to remove us from feeling the inherent vulnerabilty of being human.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua. Wow, where to start today?

Yeshua – Start with what you are feeling. Feeling is current, as in flow. So is money, as in currency.

W – I’m feeling a mixed bunch of feelings actually this morning, more digestions and anxiety around RV living, moving more and more towards community with SoulFullHeart as compared to a more sterile ‘healing offering,’ then I’m feeling some press towards a number of ‘to dos’ for today. I’m also digesting the awkward talk I had with a man over tea yesterday bringing my truth in the face of his unfeeling, brilliant, mental genius…

Y – A ton of content for sure, can you feel a container of any kind to hold it all this morning?

W – Well, yes, I feel my own vulnerability underlying all the change, parts of me seeking reassurance that this all isn’t heading to an undesirable place. That leads me to reach out to the Divine Mother simply asking for that holding and love and care and guidance and energy to respond.

Y – And what response have you felt?

W – So far, I felt a sense of that ‘yes, I am being held.’ And I felt guided to open up our dialogue, to make finding and seeking my way something I do out loud as a gift to others who resonate.

Y – So why care about others when you are feeling admittedly close to the edge?

W – Because all of us are actually very vulnerable to changes. Most of us are too medicated to feel that though. A big medication of choice in my past has been a watertight relationship with money that was about ‘getting ahead’ at all costs, and we’ll give attention to other things when we are elusively somehow ‘ahead’. Living free of this unhealthy relationship with money for me involves a process of being transparent with where I am really at, inviting others to feel with me their changing reality, and giving what I have to give now, instead of waiting for some right time.

Y – And why do it through talking with me?

W – You get right down to business, don’t you?

Y – …No time to waste and all the time in the world. Though I’m leaning towards no time to waste at the moment…

W – I get that me authoring a ‘well written’ book, with a well crafted scope and table of contents, and great arguments, as if the guidance and knowledge I would share somehow came from my superior learned humanity, would be the only way that many people could take in what I have to offer. Me the brilliant author and them the brilliant student/resourcer. But dialoguing with you, Yeshua, instead as a means of giving seems way more interesting to me. Of course, for so many, the very idea that I am talking with Yeshua is a leap that they can’t take……at least, not yet. I’m looking for those who are ready to take this leap. Into themselves. Into new relationality, with themselves, with others, and with the Divine.

Y – Okay, long answer. Where to you put me in the relationality list you just gave – yourself, others or the divine?

W – Hmmm’ 🙂 Where would you like to be?

Y – I asked first…

W – Sometimes you feel like this really cool part of me that has laid dormant for most of my life, that when I get the self permission to just connect with you, I can obtain all the guidance and energy and resource that I need to find my way. In Soulfullheart, we call this part of us our Gatekeeper. But then, at other times, you feel like an Ascended Teacher. One who has returned to source from several earth journeys who at present makes yourself available to help whoever is ready and willing. Then I feel that it is my Gatekeeper, my inspirational muse is the one who likes to connect with you, as the Ascended Teacher. That’s as sure as I can be at the moment, which isn’t mentally that sure, much more so a feeling-based surety.

Y – ‘Feeling-based surety’…you’re feeling a little backed up with all the ideas your throwing around so quickly here. It’s a bit hard to keep on track.

W – It’s meant to be. Feeling-based cognition is meant to interrupt the mind through chaos.

Y – Yes, teacher…continue…

W – What did I get myself into?…okay, I’ll try. The mind seeks line upon line solid answers to afford a sense of security and dependability. The heart which is more an expression of our Divinity needs no such surety to feel safe. The heart feels safe and secure in chaos, for it knows that chaos is never only a death, but always a death and a rebirth. As humans, we are huge expressions of this re-creative force in the earth. How did that sound?

Y – Like major enlightened shit, man. How does it feel?

W – Like I have a lit rocket strapped to my ass sometimes and scary as hell.

Y – Sounds like currency flow to me.

W – Huh?

Y – Being in need, which was your essence since the chromosome and the egg came together, and getting your needs met has been the underlying vulnerability to all of your life. The fear of the flow ending is real. The money madness we want to speak to is where we offer that the fear of being out of the flow, inherent in simply being alive, has created a false world. A world that doesn’t appear very false at all, yet is designed to remove us from feeling the inherent vulnerabilty of being human.

W – Which is another way of saying that all too often the more money one has, the deader they are…

Y – Mostly true, no doubt. The reason though that any soul chooses to come into any given life is to work this fear of death. It’s the underlayer that underlies all the activity of life. It’s even written in the Divine’s essence as well. The divine itself doesn’t believe it has a guarantee of never facing a complete demise, a ceasing to be. Being is such a great opportunity, so it naturally fears loss of the privilege. The Divine lives in the unknown, feeling its own vulnerability, and when we are up for tuning in that frequency, we can get on with some really exciting living.

W – Wow, you just like rewrote the whole cosmos thing.

Y – If we’re going to end the money madness, we’re gonna need to get to the root of some things.

W – Just between you and me, Yeshua, I can definitely feel a part of me who is not so sure we are going to uncover anything.

Y – And I like that part of you, because it’s way more real than a false-self bravado claiming to have some answer. It’s not the one with the biggest answers who wins this race, it’s the one with the biggest questions.

W – Like the child who annoys his dad by asking ‘why’ to every answer he gets…

Y – Except here, you won’t get annoyance. You will get childlike wonder and awe and transparency, and in that, you get trans-parented into a new reality.

W – Okay, there’s the second word created: ‘transparented.’ Are we going to keep a dictionary on these?

Y – I like just launching them instead. Dictionaries are bit boring, to me at least. Words are currency; they are flow. All of them are made up and so is money.

W – Feeling full again, Yeshua. You’re a lot, you know?

Y – I’m a lot? You never stop asking questions.

W – But said you wouldn’t get annoyed…

Y – Unless I do. Conflict isn’t such a bad thing, you know. Way underrated. Conflict is what moves us. Another currency. Feeling-based currency. All currency begins as feeling.

W – For tomorrow?

Y – For the rest of your life.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

Ending The Money Madness With Wayne and Yeshua- Day 3: Collisions, Chaos, And Great Destruction

Published on April 5, 2014June 6, 2020 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

The faster the fixes and the bucks come, the bigger the disillusionment. And rightfully so. This entire epoch of humanity is making a great shift, and money in its current dominant form is a very deep expression of that shift. There’s collisions, chaos, and great destruction coming to the world of money. It needs to come.

Wayne – Good Morning, Yeshua. A clear and warmer morning brewing here.

Yeshua – Hey, Wayne. I like the feeling of that. What’s brewing in you?

W – My mind is definitely wanting to wrap around some of the lifestyle changes that have come as result of shifting from pursuing money to pursuing passion purpose. I’d like to live that, teach that, advocate for that, help others into that. And not just my mind, but my heart as well.

Y – It feels like a wrestling though.

W – It does. There feels like a lot of conditioning to wade through just to find the space to feel this desire, to get beyond the numbness of routine and being in the collective consciousness around it all.

Y – How can I help you with all of that?

W – I’d like to tune in my soul’s purpose right now. I’d like to feel the lessons I came here this life to learn. I’d like to feel the gifts I came here to give. I suspect those two are closely related.

Y – Why is that difficult to do? Why do you need to effort ‘tuning it in’, as you say?

W – I’m going inside looking for an answer to that question,… It feels like I’m afraid of moving too far away from the collective consciousness, that I will somehow become irrelevant and if I don’t relate, then I am in danger of dying and losing out.

Y – Thanks for naming that huge fear, which is extremely common to all men and women, but so unfelt in how much it shapes and leads culture and relationships. And, let me say, there is validity to it. Your life and its needs, needs to be grounded in the needs of others. Needs, Needs, Needs. Being a soul, being a human is about needs. You need. I need. We all need. Every cell in your body needs. Every fiber in your heart wants and needs. The degree of that need in all men and women is evident by the degree that people suppress it into the unconscious as a way to deal with it.

W – On that note, I want to say that part of me sometimes honestly wonders if I’ve done myself any favors by opening myself out to such large degree to feel this insecurity. It doesn’t feel good, or fun.

Y – I get that. I do. What’s the option, may I ask?

W – Well, for me, I don’t feel there is much of an option. I keep feeling how false the money security world is. I recall how deep the rumbling for something more went in me when I was given to the collective consciousness around money. I’ve felt plenty how isolated I was from relationships, time starved, stuck in a rat race, and sacrificing my heart and my health too. I think, Yeshua, the feeling is a fear of being half born somehow. I relate to the old and the new, and the old isn’t quite gone and the new isn’t quite here, and I’m in the middle somewhere. Living in a leaking RV I might add, that I’m going to be caulking in today’s sunshine.

Y – Thee most courageous guide, Wayne, is not someone who’s done the journey and is now showing others. The most courageous guide is someone who hasn’t done the journey, and is willing to show others how to be in the unknown, as he or she takes that very journey. That’s the true elite.

W – I get the sentiment of that. It goes into my heart. But I also get a judging voice that says I shouldn’t be focused on being some elite.

Y – Tell me a little more about that voice, where does it originate in you?

W – It has to do with others from my past who might judge me for pulling out of my former life deeply embedded in Christianity, that the motives moving me have something to do with a superiority complex.

Y – Okay, then I agree with you. In your words, you shouldn’t be focused on being some elite, but I would add, you do need to be okay with simply living the elite being that you are. A king who doesn’t know he is king is no king at all. He doesn’t get to inhabit his true domain. This really is about worth. It gets into superiority. There is your worth as a human which cannot be more or less than any other human. But functionally…hello…I’d say, you best make yourself worthy to others in some way shape or form given all those raging needs we just mentioned. You’re going to have to come to terms with that superiority judgment, and get into living the elite that you are.

W – Okay, so then how do I find and offer my deepest worth to others, and get compensated for it?

Y – THAT, the first part of that question is the alive question. The second part of how do you get compensated for it, really takes care of itself. We can talk more about that part later. But the question of how to find your deepest offering and how do you offer it – is one huge QUEST. Being on a quest is to be given to the question; heart, soul and body. Your life blood is living into that quest. It begins with saying ‘no’ to what you know it is not. How could you even begin to make room for this exploration when your life is filled with the collective unconscious world of being under the tyranny of money?

W – I felt a bit bratty just then when I asked the question, as if I could get some secret short convenient answer that just unlocks or fixes my dilemma. I feel the whole false world of money is out seeking fixes and fast bucks.

Y – And the faster the fixes and the bucks come, the bigger the disillusionment. And rightfully so. This entire epoch of humanity is making a great shift, and money in its current dominant form is a very deep expression of that shift. There’s collisions, chaos, and great destruction coming to the world of money. It needs to come.

W – Sometimes that feels exciting, but often it just feels scary too. All of us are so tuned into ‘how will I fare?’ in these great shifts.

Y – That isn’t a bad question at all though. It’s a very human one. There are some very practical and grounded things you can do. The cool thing about it all is finding the thing that you can do that is in your personal best and highest self interest and just so happens to be in the highest and best interest of others. That is your most valuable contribution, that will fulfill your deepest needs. To the degree you can’t negotiate this inside of yourself, you are left with living in the collective consciousness fear ground of money. It’s being shaken up right now, but you can still niggle some ‘You can’t blame me’ for your own unfulfillment if you just hang out there. There won’t be any shortage of being in the company of victims.

W – This Quest, Yeshua, is one I know that at the end of my life, I will be assessing how I embraced it or how I shied away from it. All other achievements won’t stack up to anything in comparison,, except of course sex with Jillian. It is the real soul journey. Did I live my purpose? What legacy am I leaving? What I need and want now though is more guidance and juice on how to walk out the few decades between now and then.

Y – Sex with Jillian comes close, that’s so cool. This is meant to be deeply fulfilling and rewarding. You can’t pack this much fun anywhere else in the universe but in this earth realm. It is waiting to be reinvented, so I say, get on with your superiority and get on with your sex life, and your heart-on, and your hard-on, for all of LIFE. Find what you have to give, never stop finding it, give it away in the most effective way that you can. Let this passion arise in you, let it flow through you. Let it reinvent you. Let it kill you. Let it enliven you.

W – Yeshua, you always seem to open out more questions than you seem to solve, but I get that’s part of the new reality. We need much bigger questions that the teeny ones we have now. Thank you for showing up again.

Y – It’s all in a days work, my friend. Thank you for showing up.

In this blog series, Ending The Money Madness, Wayne Vriend shares his unedited, journal conversation with Yeshua.These blogs offer an exploration of money, what it is, how to relate to it, the financial collapse and transition to yin-based currency, the false self system created around money, etc. Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and read 90 Days With Yeshua: Modern Message From An Ascended Teacher for more enlightening conversations between Wayne and Yeshua.

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