By Raphael Awen
When you come out the other side, you are unalterably changed.
Life is a continual movement, yes, but I’ll bet that you are feeling change acutely right now.
All of this has to do with the fact that there is something so unexplainable about the magnitude of you, the uniqueness of you, the desires and the mysteries that live inside of you. You know it and you know it can’t be written off as ‘just all ego talking.’ Some impulses are frightening and feel dark and others are pure light. Your world wants to change and all of your being is somehow in on this desire. An unmistakeable and definite storm is brewing.
Yet so often a stasis sets in, and the past seems to want to extrude itself into the future. Storm? What storm?
Questions and aches live unanswered in you. How can I find and flow with this new me that wants to rise? Why does it feel so private? Why does it feel like there isn’t any handrails? Where will I end up if I act on these impulses? Is saying yes to change like lighting a match to a rocket strapped to your butt leaving you in a point-and-shoot without much say in where you end up? ‘So what shall I do?’ you ask.
Let’s let those questions bake a bit and feel into all this some more.
The ground you live on is like an island underneath you. It was once so large, you never even knew it was an island as the theatre of your life supported all of your life movements. But now, a rising tide has narrowed the land mass that undergirds your life. Why would, and how could a life so full,…. become so narrow? Did I do something to displease God? Am I just lacking in gratitude?
Your awareness has grown to see that the land may even be soon completely inundated by water, making the island completely uninhabitable. You’re anxiety grows exponentially with each passing season that you don’t choose and act. Inaction feels more and more like the height of insanity.
I’d like to offer you that there isn’t anything that you could have done or not done to have escaped coming to this juncture in your life. You see, your life is not separate from all of life and all life is now undergoing deep and heightened change. The entire creation is feeling what you are feeling. It shows up differently in each person’s life, but the common denominator in all of this is that love wants to find its way in. Love wants to colour your experience of life. Love wants to intone frequencies of sound and light into your heart to allow your heart to be both a pool of beauty and a re-broadcast centre.
Yeshua said ‘You are a city set on a hill, so don’t try to hide your light under a bushel basket. Let others see your radiance in how you live life and glorify the Christ-consciousness that lives in you.’ There isn’t anything cooler, not in this galaxy or the next one, or what’s considered the most distant one. Love is all in all, through all and to all.
You already know this,…as John the beloved said ‘you need not that any man should teach you, as the spirit teaches you all things.’ Change and knowing how to flow with it intimately is native to you at the core of your being. It is only unfelt parts of you that are resistant to change and seek to maintain life structures that are designed to avoid change. It is important now that you feel these parts of you, get to know them, their needs, and shed their tears. This will change you in that very process, and afford you the courage for the next step, and the next step after that.
If you don’t embrace this time of change, the coming rising tide will still inundate your shrinking island. There is no escaping the times of deep change that are upon us all.
For many, their refusal to accept change even as it sweeps over them will only be about weaving a victims claim that life screwed them over, and then being able to prove that to the world around them, as their personal apocalypse. Life doesn’t want to screw anyone or anything, or you, or any part of you,…over. It cannot in fact. Only you or I in our creative function can make that feel like and look like a reality.
The alternative prospect of instead letting in love, however, is just too much for many at this time. There is nothing wrong with this as seen from a higher level. Each soul is learning profoundly and deeply, regardless of pace. There is no time urgency that says they need to wake up sooner than they are. Each of us needs the time we need in unconsciousness. Even those of us having the deepest awakenings today will come to see these awakenings overshadowed by grander and grander awakenings. Even the soul who deeply chooses to play victim to change is in the midst of profound awakening ultimately, albeit in a longer lease on time. All that really matters to you and I, if we’re wanting to awaken is this question of ‘am I letting in what wants to flow in or am I in more of a stance of resistance?’
Granted, there will be pain to feel if others you are now close with aren’t ready to embrace what is moving for you. But how close in fact are you now, if what is arising in you can’t fit comfortably within the bond? The question ultimately becomes ‘what is the greatest expression of your love to them?’ Leaving a bond by laying down your end of the rope, or by setting others free of an unhealthy grasp is a far higher love expression than efforting keeping them in your life.
No one can ultimately escape your life as we all are so much more connected than we realize. It is because we are so intensely connected with everyone that we need new and arising boundaries (that can let in and let out) in our lives and relationship. Feeling and grieving the loss of a relationship where the ground is narrowed and can’t find a new opening is life moving you and guiding you. The tears you and parts of you have to feel in the process are some of the most alchemical life movements that your soul chose to experience in coming here. You came here to learn about both your individuality and your oneness with all– at the same time no less.
Everything, you see, is all spring loaded to love. You are spring loaded. The universe is spring loaded. It’s so spring loaded that you trying to ‘help’ it only gets in the way most of the time. Acceptance and self-love will gain you so much more mileage while any and all attempts at fixing and bettering yourself will serve only to keep you in a resistance loop to change.
Take a moment and imagine yourself in the most desirable outcome imaginable on the other side of this change that life is offering you. You’ve certainly given yourself to imagining the worst, right? See what it feels like to do the opposite. The best case scenario that you imagine may not be the outcome in terms of the physical details, but if you are feeling loved and supported within that best case imagined scenario, I can tell you that THAT assurance and knowing will be the essence of the outcome that this change wants to bring to your life. What could be better?
Does that feel like your truth or does it just feel like I’m doing a good job on selling you something? Your truth is what matters here, not mine. If you can let in the feeling of being loved and supported, you are finally feeling the difference between being in resonance or dissonance with life and love flow.
Any regrets about all the time it’s taken to reach this point melt away in the presence of this incredible love. If there was available all that time needed to get here, then how much more is there to bask and play in this infinitude of life and love?
Holy shit!? All the shit is holy.
There’s your new cosmology reduced to a few choice words. Tear out that statement of faith at the back of your church hymnal and replace it with this one. Don’t let any facsimile of someone else’s awe and reverence from yesterday be a fill in for your heart bursting in climax with the curiosity and visceral joy that IS you.
Does that lay to rest the questions that we let bake earlier, or at least begin to?
Everything I shared with you today, I shared with you from my side of the same veil we all share. I don’t actually know anything more than you do. If my words resonate for you, that resonance is proof that I am speaking your truth….underline ‘your.’
You just got a wave of your own divine self. Merry Christ-mas.
Let it guide you in feeling and responding to the threatening water surrounding your life island. Let these threats be changed into oceans of love and support and guidance for you in regards to how to set your sails as you let go of your island that life is coaxing you off of.
This is your greatest gift to the world around you. There is nothing passive about letting in this swell of self-love. This is your greatest and most effective activism towards the great evils that abound in our world.
You and I are love. Even if we’re quarrelling, we are this love that is already now in possession of all. I don’t quite know how to conclude this writing…because there isn’t any one fitting conclusion….there is only you letting in love…to you….through you….and back again.
I hope your holiday season is filled with as many moments of self-love as you can handle.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and writer at the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.