Our creativity, our ideals, our passions, our angsts, our desires, our despair, our romantic ideas… these are often all aspects of your Inner Teenager – a part of you that has wanted very much to be heard, to be seen, to rebel, yet also to be hidden, to run away, to sneak away, to be a lone wolf, yet be a part of something important too perhaps. There are a lot of conflicting aspects to this part of you. Some of them are represented by other parts of you too, yet so much reaction to life and love happens inside of this one part of you and sometimes it can feel like the biggest polarities are present there too. This is the reality of trying to find your way in a world that you still have an inherent sense of not belonging in… your childhood is not so far behind you and you can still see it in your rearview mirror. Your childhood, that held so much wonder and a thinner veil to the existence of other realities and the realities you came into this life from.
The desire for a romantic partner that ‘checks all the boxes’ on a long list of desires, is one of the biggest pieces here. Maybe you’re still trying on different ideals, exploring different approaches to sex and sexuality, experimenting with drugs that lift the heavy veil that never used to be there before. Maybe you’re still holding life in the 3D sense as something to either be avoided or over-inhabited in some ways without much balance in between. Perhaps you’re still trying to reconcile why you feel certain ways about your birth family and perhaps even your friends and other social or work connections and you aren’t sure why or how this is even possible with the moral standards you’ve been taught your whole life. There is a whole big ‘mess’ here to sort through and often it can feel more like an impossibly tangled ball of yarn than something that is even remotely possible to sort out. These seem to be the common experiences of Inner Teenagers, even in adults who have reached middle age and beyond… they are the place where your emotional immaturity often lands and lives, and the part of you that wants to learn how to grow up yet in a way that feels okay to them and not necessarily to anyone else – the ultimate place of your rebellion and your conformity both. It’s complicated, this world they live in… and they are often stuck here in many unconscious loops and patterns until you can go inward to find and be with them.
You will often find your Inner Teenager still living in your childhood bedroom, or any other room or place that they consider a ‘sanctuary’ for themselves. This place has become a box that holds so many traumas, so many stories of abuses, so much hope and despair, both. It is a place where they can still find and be in their creativity, however it expresses, often as a way to cope with life instead of really be in it and heal through it… they don’t have a guide for that, at least until you can show up and be with them, until they trust you enough to let you in the door and sit next to them, to eventually cry or thrash with them, as they express all they’ve likely bottled up or hidden. Perhaps if they have been over-expressed in your life, you can now feel them in their real vulnerability and likely self-consciousness. There is much pain that they hold that is equal to the joy they have access to as well, not unlike or far from the Inner Child inside of you.
Healing the Inner Teenager means offering this space inside of you for feeling deeply all there is to feel. The process for them often means bringing them back, little by little, step by step, to a place where they feel their ideas and ideals are welcome again, where they can be in their creativity from a non-medicative place that doesn’t numb but instead evokes. My sense of it is that they can evolve in this way too, from a 3D part of you to a 4D and eventually a 5D, integrated part of you. Most Inner Teenagers, at least for those of you reading this, will somehow straddle 3D and 4D in their aches and rebellion and hope too. They may or may not have a sense of spirituality, yet they do seem to have an investment somehow in this domain that can express itself in different ways.
Being with and feeling your Inner Teenager is a process that brings you access to many gifts and new ways to feel all of the different areas of your life.
If you wish to explore this further, you can have a look at our process that we offer in SoulFullHeart, that includes feeling and healing your Inner Teenager along with other parts of you: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.