Loving Yourself Through The Difficult: A Poem

by Kalayna Solais

Sometimes, days are just rough… the seas of life move you in one direction when you thought you were moving in another.

Sometimes, the feelings you feel are just hard to feel… they seem to come out of nowhere, or, if they do come from a known somewhere, they can feel overwhelming.

Sometimes, you are in a phase of darkness, where parts of you feel as if the light will never turn on again… everything they fear happening is happening, and there’s no mantra or affirmation that seems to help you.

and eventually, many times over… 
the light turns on from within during these moments and phases. 
You fumble in the dark long enough, then a gentle hand guides you to the light switch. 
And soon you see the gentle hand is your own.

Now, in times to come, you feel the suffering through the pain start to enter your field 
and realize that you can move through it, be with it authentically, 
and find your way to healing, trust, and nourishment from inside.

Nourishment that in all of these times, can never ever leave you.

This is the process of moving onward and UPward from within.

Ascending through the heart and the deep healing of the soul.

This is the process of recognizing that the springtime of love is inside of you, not a Mecca to seek on the outside.

And a time when you see
that nothing ever happens to you
but with you.

This is the great turning point of our Ascension process,
and our maturation as Gaian BEings.

This is not what makes us ‘worth saving’
but what wakes us up to saving, healing, loving ourselves
and then, loving each other. ❤


Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Who’s Who In Your Zoo?


By Raphael Awen

The idea of being grateful for what you have is only a piece of a piece of the answer.

For starters, a mental idea of something you should be more of is just that, a mental idea, rather than a feeling state. Gratitude just is and can’t really be moralized into place, not real gratitude that is.

Intuitively, we know what that feeling state looks and feels like because we’ve tasted it, and it was fun, and so we prescribe it to ourselves, our children and our inner children, but in the prescribing, we are ‘shoulding’ on ourselves and that kind of force based relationship to life is fast losing steam for all of us.

Then, the idea that if you were truly spiritual or awakened, and in real gratitude, you wouldn’t be so attached to wanting more stuff is another example of trying to squeeze yourself into someone else’s box that you just can’t fit into.

If you come to know and feel real gratitude for what you have, you will be so caught up in wonder and reverence for the beauty and magic of being that everything takes on a different glow, and you want it all. Materially, socially, egoically,…you want and you want it all, without judgments of what a higher or lower desire is. I’ve wanted a new IPhone 7plus for months now and the desire isn’t going away anytime soon. 

But wait! Won’t I want different stuff than what I used to want? Won’t I want healthier stuff? I could tell you my story around that, but what’s your story? Your story is where the juice is!

Do you want to hang onto what you’ve hung onto? How satisfying is that for you? Are you ready for something new? What is YOUR real definition of having it all? Is it okay to make that up and change that up as you go?

When you explore this ground though, you inevitably come to a polarity at the root of a stasis point inside. Part of you wants the old intensely and part of you is so ready for the new. The only way a healthy movement can occur in a standoff situation like this is to find out who’s who in your zoo, and why they are the way they are. Anything short of this and you are simply back to where a part of you is shoulding on other parts of you, (very often busy prescribing change in this way ultimately and paradoxically to keep a stasis in place).

Really finding out why a part of you has such a bizarre addiction, for instance, what they get out of it and why they are so attached to it will change your world. I venture to say that though the addiction has been a part of your life for the years it has, that you are basically unfamiliar with it. It knows you, but you don’t know it. Oh, you may even be an addiction expert and an author on the subject, but this you is not the you who has the addiction, and the author/expert you isn’t the one who needs to create a bridge to the part of you so attached.

An arising curious authentic self needs to arise on the scene and be about getting to know and feel with an open heart. This is the ground of real change that doesn’t come out of a self-help aisle in the book store.

We dialled up the challenges we are faced with. We’re that big. We even dialled up the ability to face ourselves with challenging and unwanted timelines as an arena for our growth. Isn’t this what our choice to enter our soul amnesia is all about? We forgot, so that we could re-member and become all that we were and are meant to be, that we couldn’t access any other way.

I can be very grateful for an unwanted timeline. Both can be true.

I can feel what parts of myself like and don’t like about the present timeline, and in that…., the movement my higher self set up for me unfolds in a magic, a synchronicity, a flow occurs. I reach out to all the parts of myself as the subjects in my kingdom who are awaiting my leadership and king’s heart. This is my new emerging timeline and I wouldn’t trade it for anything!

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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