By Jelelle Awen
I am worthy just as I am.
I am worthy no matter what is in my bank account or how others perceive me.
I am worth all that I desire that comes from a place of authentic longing.
I am worth love and to be loved.
I am worth experiencing passion in my relationships and especially with my mate.
I am worth being treated with respect and reverence.
I am worth claiming my birthright as a sacred human child of the Divine.
I am worth growing, breathing, and inhabiting life on this earthly dimension.
I am worth feeling wanted and wanting others in return.
I am worthy of these things and……so are you.
These are not just positive affirmations. This is how I experience life most of the time. It has taken many tears, many tough choices, and much healing to feel this way about myself. It has taken saying ‘no’ to things which didn’t serve my worth or my sense of it. It has taken reclaiming a relationship with the Divine after spending much of my life claiming to be agnostic. It has taken serving others, especially women, to get to know and heal the part of them that holds unworthiness.
A woman recently said to me with tears in her eyes and an ache in her heart, “I don’t feel worthy,” when I presented her with a picture of passionate relationship. This moment of vulnerability being shared with me touched me and I could feel, indeed, the part of her that doesn’t feel worthy of what her soul and heart aches to experience. I don’t know all the reasons why this part of her feels this way but I am very familiar with the texture of unworthiness as I have felt it myself all of my life.
I believe that we all have a part of us that feels unworthy. It is usually buried in the shadows under another part, a more strategic and outbound part of us that covers over this very tender feeling with frequencies of false humility, confidence, even arrogance. Arrogance is always about a part who is trying to protect the feelings of being unworthy under neath. In my experience, getting to know and connect with the protector of the unworthiness first is what allows it to eventually come forward. Unworthiness (like many shadow aspects) is often more visceral, emotional, and non-verbal. It is stomach churning feelings of yuck about ourselves. It is the sense that we are not worth anything and never will be. I remember gut-wrenching sobbing as my unworthiness unfurled itself to be felt by a parts facilitator and the Divine. It was very challenging to feel this and to share it with someone else but I am so very glad that I did.
My heart hurts for the unfelt unworthiness parts inside of so many people. As I have felt this aspect of myself, it has healed to a sense of innate goodness about myself. Unconditional and mostly unfaltering. Working with this aspect has allowed me to set boundaries with people when I’ve needed to, when it doesn’t serve my goodness to be in relationship with them. At times, I still have a part of me that struggles with ‘rejection’ and can still feel unworthy related to that, especially when it concerns my writing or SoulFullHeart. I imagine that this aspect is something that I will be feeling and healing for the rest of my life.
The message that I have been able to let in from the Divine more and more is that I am worthy to experience love and that, actually, I am Infinite Love. It can be very challenging to claim a life based in self worth yet the rewards of feeling your own goodness alive in your life are so worth it. As are you…
Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book,Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.