The Desire For Love Underneath It All

by Kalayna Colibri



Beneath the desire to predict, to plan for, to kNOw ‘what’s next’… is the desire for love.

Beneath the shadowy figures of men and women at the helm of leadership, who desire battles, who embody tremendous self-righteousness, who abuse and accuse others… is the desire for love.

Beneath the shut-outs, the push-aways, the cling-to-forevers…. is a desire for love.

Beneath your resistance to love, as expressed outwardly and inwardly, in words, in energy, in self-harm, in harm of others… is a desire for love.

And in that desire, all of the answers to questions of ‘why’ can be illuminated. And so much more can be felt, heard, seen, healed… loved.


It often feels as if the 3D world really doesn’t want love. Some might even say outright that they don’t want love, claiming that love really isn’t the answer, or that love is only for the fortunate. Deep unworthiness to receive and let in love in the truest, deepest sense, is surfacing more and more now. There is deep unworthiness in our leaders. Deep unworthiness in fear and war-mongering. Deep unworthiness, pain, sadness, woundedness, in our patriarchal expressions as men and women, in relationships, in ourselves, at work, at home, out in the world. In all ‘fights’ we choose to instigate or be a part of in some way, we are expressing resistance to love… and where love wants to move us, what it wants to illuminate for us, what it wants to remind us that we ALL are… LOVE, embodied, ever-present.

Sometimes love is even resisted with love… it is resisted in the sense of what it wants to bring you about your wounding, which can sometimes be most easily found by going into your shadow. It is resisted by the ‘twin flame’ picture, that offers more suffering than goodness, more clinging than letting go. It is resisted in all of the ways parts of you would rather not feel. Love cannot transform or move you to new heights unless a certain facade is allowed to be cracked.

The 3D world wants love, yet is afraid of what love really is. A catalyst, a river, a cliff, a flashlight in the dark, a path less travelled or never travelled before… and an end to the depths of human suffering, starting within.

My beloveds and I offer a process of becoming reacquainted with love in a real sense of it… feeling parts of you that are resistant to truly letting it in and letting it move you in a new direction. If this appeals to you, you can read more about the process here:

Also, Gabriel Heartman and Raphael Awen will be hosting a live stream on Facebook and Youtube this coming Sunday, where they will talk more about this process and way of life. You can go here for more details:



Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at

The Insatiable Appetite For More Love

by Kalayna Colibri




The heart of a little girl, turns toward her mother and asks, “How do I get your love?”

The heart of a young woman in a new relationship, turns toward her partner and asks, “How do I keep your love?”

The heart of a young nun in her morning prayers asks, “How do I earn your love?”

The awakening heart turns to Love itself and asks, “How do I remember you, Love?”

These journeys begin with feeling as if Love is elusive, a butterfly to capture and keep, a path to master, something to make, do, take, have, possess…

These journeys continue with receiving ‘answers’ from outside, with only letting in that which can be seen or learned, until one day, the love that you simply ARE reminds you from inside of you that it was always there…

Abuses of all kinds create a struggle inside, bruised heart walls, parts that hate ourselves, push away others, trauma and drama attraction, resistance to Love and all of its tones and frequencies both challenging and comforting. To be in the heat of Love’s reawakening is to feel what’s blocking it, to feel the need for more of it, to realize the areas of life where it’s not flowing, to ask the questing questions that lead us to clarities of this step followed by that one… if you are used to crumbs, crumbs is all you’ll expect, but once you’ve allowed in a taste of the real thing, the real thing is all that can suffice and yet ironically is what stimulates the appetite for MORE.

Be insatiable. Every pore of your body, every cord of your heart song, every tone of your multi-dimensionality wants to want more, wants to BE more. The having and receiving of more comes from making room, from flowing over with love withIN, from letting it flow to others FROM you and WITH you, from feeling the parts of you that won’t let it, don’t want to trust it, have been burned, hurt, wounded by ‘love’ before, that can’t see or feel or let in just yet that within their hurt and pain lies a pearl – an exquisite gift – of experience, wisdom, heart-opening mess and the capacity to pick up the pieces and keep going on and IN as you grow and bloom and shine ever brighter. Hunger for the growth that allows in more love. Let yourself ask those questions you need to ask parts of you and soul aspects of you. And bring it all back to your appetite for more love to let in and crave for.

To live life this way turns everything on its head! It brings in a whole new way of digesting all experiences, all challenges, all processes. It gives you a home frequency to tune into during emotional phases of deeply feeling your wounding. It motivates you to keep going in and through and guides you in the same.

It’s time to remember… and it’s up to you if you decide to now or later, yet it doesn’t matter, because you will never be less love or loved than you already are in this moment. ❤

In SoulFullHeart, the process is always about leaning back into love in the end, though the journey to do this is complicated and challenging at times. Digesting pain with a heart-open other who can reflect to you what you need to keep feeling in order to heal it, is simply what works. If you’re interested in feeling into having sessions with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, please visit for more information. ❤


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at


The Loving Room: Entering The Doorway


Painting by Josephine Wall

Graphic created by Gabriel Heartman


by Kalayna Colibri

You wander down a corridor, doors on either side, some with much space in between them, others not. Some are painted in beiges and browns, some have psychedelic colours, others look and feel like rainbows and light… then one catches your eye just as you begin to pass it by.

You immediately stop and turn on your heels to head back towards it, not sure why you’re compelled by it all of a sudden, but it doesn’t matter to you in that moment. The aura of the door feels warm and you get the sense that someone on the other side might want to embrace you… your logical mind tries to grasp at how this could be possible, yet it begins to let go in almost the same breath, sensing it might have a place to rest in this room. Your hand reaches out to turn the golden knob, only to realize that the door is no longer solid. You step through it, as your mind begins to loosen more.

Now inside, you see that the ceiling is gone and there is only a sky with clouds, dancing themselves into different forms and patterns, some of which you recognize, others you don’t. There seems to be layers to this “sky” you see above you, and in fact, this room seems to have layers too somehow, or at least you can sense it does. You also see some lush sofas, comfy chaise lounges, luxurious hammocks, friendly plants and you hear music playing softly in the background now, a welcoming sound that doesn’t have its usual form or patterns, but it has frequencies that somehow send waves of HUM through your body and the energetic field around your body too.

You take this in for a few moments, feeling the fresh air and beaming sunlight. It’s not a room, yet it IS a room too somehow. And as your mind continues loosening, the need to make “sense” of this dissolves in spite of you. A feeling that you’re “home” washes through and over you. A feeling you haven’t really felt before, except maybe as a very young child, and yet it feels like something you experienced at another time and place too, not in this life you have been living as “you”.

As you walk around the room a bit, you see that there is no clock to track “time” as there would be in most rooms you’ve experienced.

On a wall of vines, next to a majestic tree, you see a large mirror, taller and wider than you are, leaning yet stable. Its framing looks and feels ancient, with filigree and rosettes. As you gaze at the self reflected inside of it, at first you see features and colours that you recognize as “you”. This feels to last but a moment before something shifts and suddenly you seem to be seeing yourself from a very strange angle, yet the mirror itself hasn’t moved! This angle is awkward, showing you parts of your body you’ve avoided looking at at times and it seems you can also see your shadow appear – first above and behind your shoulder, then also near your neck on the opposite side, down near your hands, beside your leg, and close to your feet. Your shadow moves suddenly and seems to cover you, accentuating the angle you’ve already decided you don’t like seeing… yet you stay there, in front of the mirror, compelled to see more, to feel more, to get to know more.

“Why?” part of you asks, “why now? Why do I have to see myself this way?”

As tears fall, you begin to realize what’s happening. You turn away from the mirror and lay down on a sofa as you continue to cry. You feel something rise up from within and without you, holding you as this happens. It is the embrace you were drawn to on the other side of the door, the reason why you stepped into this room in the first place. You collapse more into the tears as memories come in. You are surprised at how you don’t feel overwhelmed by this and that you’ve actually been wanting and needing this release for so long…

As the tears fade, you continue to feel the comfort of that embrace. You feel stronger than before. A smile spreads across your face and a lightness you haven’t known since you were a child fills your being. Your heart feels a bit raw, but the healing balm of this lightness and joy help to hold and soothe it.

You don’t really want to leave this room, yet you sense that now that you’ve been here, it will be with you always, and you can always return to it whenever you want or feel called to. As you pass through the door, you realize that the memory of what happened here will always be with you and the embrace you felt is bound to change you forever.

Welcome to the Loving Room. ❤



Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at



We Will Know Each Other, Love

by Leena Colibri


We will know each other, love.
When the seas of distance
have long parted
and the winds of inner guidance
bring us closer,
we will know the scent, feel and taste
of the radiant compliment and heart echo,
that only two true lovers
can feel in each other.
The swan of my garden’s pond,
the stag of your kingdom to come
and the lushness of crystalline hearts
sends a beacon to one another
that forgoes all time
and draws the curtain
on any sense of having waited.
Across the ether
where dutiful pleasantries end
and all flowers bloom in harmonic,
perfectly imperfect growth,
that is where it begins for us
as we foresake all we’ve known
for the challenge of walking
and waking
The sprint of a spring-loaded heart
wanting to explode in its body-container
brings in the steps of inventive goodness
and charges forward with each breath
of its renewed awakening.
Our inter-galactic heavens
of sweet spent moments
of movement and healing
in our dominions of the inside,
mingle altogether in a dance of dimensions,
anticipated touches
and soaring passionate highs.
We will so know each other, love,
by the shape of smoky outlines
and bright, burning stars pointing the way,
calling out to us and to all lovers,
now and always…



Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at