Bringing outside what lives inside can be the beginning of a vast exploration of the myriad energies that make up the wholeness of You.
The picture below was done during a time (around 2014 I think) when I was feeling a deep depression that felt almost immovable. While I was in it I feel like I needed to get it out rather than letting it envelop me. I can remember the feeling of barely getting the paper on the table and grabbing the charcoal stick. It needed to be charcoal because it looked just like I felt. Dark and grey.
I remember having no clue what I wanted to draw and just let the feeling travel from my heart to my hands and it translated to a swirl of grey in the center. I was swirling on the inside so it matched. Then it got darker and darker. I smudged the charcoal because that is what I felt like too…smudged. As I stared at the picture a began to feel how I was in this tunnel like environment, on the inside looking out. Wanting to feel something different than what I was feeling. Wanting to feel lighter. Freer. Less confined and dismal.
Then as I felt this energy leaving my being and bleeding its way onto the paper, I felt to draw the figure sitting on the floor of this tunnel staring out. Looking…watching…waiting. I could feel this being as different than me at that moment. He was me and not me at the same time. He was a part or aspect of me that felt this way. He was looking for someone to connect with him so he didn’t feel so hopeless. This is when the depression became not who I was, but held by a part of me that had a story and a reason.
This act spurred on other pictures that were not all that detailed. They were simple yet had emotional substance and a reality held by something inside of me that was not all of me. It became less about depression and more about self-discovery. The sunrise of curiosity was breaching the infinite ocean of despair and I had a relationship to it….to him, or maybe it was always Her. My hidden and disowned feminine wanting to be claimed by her King. Either way, it changed my relationship both emotionally and physically to my depression.
Even if you don’t fancy yourself an ‘artist’ the act of moving something on paper, canvass, or computer screen, can open a doorway to your heart and soul that invites a relationship, a curiosity, and a compassion. This is more than just art therapy, but a beginning to discovering the lost and hidden aspects of what and who you really are in both the shadow and the light. It moves from the paper back into You in a whole new way that doesn’t just provide relief but a new consciousness that can lift you into new technicolor timelines.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
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