Service Of Love As A Mirror

By Gabriel Heartman

I have been holding space for two remarkable women that have had a lot of deep processing of past pain, both this life and others. It has been such an honor to be a part of their movements and realizations that have come from their own dedications to themselves and their desire for self-love and service to others. 

During our time together there have been moments of needing to flow with a ‘passionate advocacy’ for each of them and that can get triggering to parts that have inner wounds around what may be interpreted as a ‘bullying’. This is what I wrote about in my last post. 

It felt important to share their responses of their perspective on that and how being a caring mirror and conduit of real love can be challenging yet rewarding. It also reminds me to continue to work my stuff so that I can Be and offer that to others. This is especially true between a man and a woman where there can be so much charge between the masculine and feminine in the shadow. But it is that dynamic which brings the deepest healing to the surface. 

*****

“Thank you so much, Gabriel. I love all your reflections and you can’t imagine how much they are helping to integrate the session, expand my consciousness, bring context to current situations and patterns as well as past ones and bring my inner family together and growing me more. I took in your last message when I was sitting down by the ocean and it was pure balm for my soul, heart and nervous system. It was an explanation for so much and I will take it in again and again because there’s so much in there that struck a chord and that facilitated big shifts. I saw and felt my inner feminine and masculine shaking hands, wanting to start to respect each other and working together ❤”- Bianca

*****

“Gabriel, I loved your post yesterday about “tough love.” Thank you for putting it out there. While I had parts reactions to our session, your “passionate advocacy” was exactly what I needed in order to push myself to really become my own loving presence for my inner teenager, rather than letting that part convince me that only someone else could take care of her. I could really feel the difference between your advocacy, rather than toxic tough love. Yours is the type of healthy love that all of us have needed in this life. It’s clean and safe, and doesn’t allow for enmeshment and attachment. Feels really good to learn and experience that for real! ❤”- Devon

*****

I am honored to be in this space with both of them as they have taught me a lot about my own heart and where I have grown and still have places to continue to grow and heal. I am so very grateful.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Sometimes Real Love Can Feel Like A Bully

Real love presses and invites with compassionate passion. It wants more of Itself to shine and be shown. When it feels that it is being hidden away, defended, or downplayed, Love goes for the cracks. The places that it can sneak under to find more of Itself to heal and flourish.

To the part of us that takes a defensive stance to being “infiltrated” in the name of self-preservation, it is just wanting what is known to stay in stasis because it is all it has ever known…even if this is suffering or crisis. So if love is advocating for itself, which lies on the other side of those walls, then Love would feel like a bully to this defended part of us.

This can only feel true if there is a bully inside that provokes that response. An experience of being punished or persecuted, either this life or others, creates a knee-jerk protective stance toward anything that feels encroaching our inner sanctum of vulnerability. 

“Tough love” comes to mind when I ponder this more. Tough love has an edge to it that can be an inner punisher part of one person that is using this term as an excuse to off-gas abusive energy. There may be a true loving intention, but this energy can be tainted with some toxicity. If there is an experience of this within a spiritual or psychological framework, your Protector most certainly can have some reaction when Real Love is being offered. 

What is the difference? 

It comes down to feeling your own inner bully dynamic and how that may be being projected out and even drawing these situations. It is also about being vulnerable with the feeling of being bullied that draws out this inner energy. There is a sorting out that takes place to parcel out what is “tough” and what is “real”. Real love can be intense and may be tough to a part of us, but it is never toxic or rough. It does not pry or demand, but invites and passionately advocates. 

In any authentic and safe healing space, the healer must also be in tune with their own emotional and spiritual bodies and be willing to feel and see their own “stuff” that may be a part of any advocacy or difficult love offering. This allows the protective part of the one receiving healing and guidance to feel safe and open. 

This is why those of us in SoulFullHeart are always asking ourselves, and each other, if where we are coming from has tinges of an energy that may feel “off” so that we can feel how that may be affecting our facilitation. As a community, it is a system of checks and balances that is about our own personal growth as well as our commitment to being the most authentic healing modality out there. 

If you have experienced this wound of toxic love, my heart goes out to you. I am sorry that happened. I want to invite that part of you to experience something different and possible. Something genuine and real. Something that leads you to experience a new relationship to the pain and trauma, with transparency, honesty, and heart-open advocacy.

******

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Real Love As Impassioned Advocacy

Sometimes Real Love can feel like a bully.

Real love presses and invites with compassionate passion. It wants more of Itself to shine and be shown. When it feels that it is being hidden away, defended, or downplayed, Love goes for the cracks. The places that it can sneak under to find more of Itself to heal and flourish.

To the part of us that takes a defensive stance to being “infiltrated” in the name of self-preservation, it is just wanting what is known to stay in stasis because it is all it has ever known…even if this is suffering or crisis. So if love is advocating for itself, which lies on the other side of those walls, then Love would feel like a bully to this defended part of us.

This can only feel true if there is a bully inside that provokes that response. An experience of being punished or persecuted, either this life or others, creates a knee-jerk protective stance toward anything that feels encroaching our inner sanctum of vulnerability.

“Tough love” comes to mind when I ponder this more. Tough love has an edge to it that can be a punishing part of one person that is using this term as an excuse to off-gas abusive energy. There may be a true loving intention, but this energy can be tainted with some toxicity. If there is an experience of this within a spiritual or psychological framework, a part of you most certainly can have some reaction to when Real Love is being offered.

What is the difference? It comes down to feeling our own inner bully dynamic and how that may be being projected out and even drawing these situations. It is also about being vulnerable with the feeling of being bullied that draws out this inner energy. There is a sorting out that takes place to parcel out what is “tough” and what is “real”. Real love can be intense and may be tough to a part of us, but it is never toxic or rough. It does not pry or demand, but invites and passionately advocates.

In any authentic and safe healing space, the healer must also be in tune with their own emotional and spiritual bodies and be willing to feel and see their own “stuff” that may be a part of any advocacy or difficult love offering. This allows the protective part of the one receiving healing and guidance to feel safe and open.

This is why those of us in SoulFullHeart are always asking ourselves, and each other if where we are coming from has tinges of an energy that may feel “off” so that we can feel how that may be affecting our facilitation. As a community, it is a system of checks and balances that is about our own personal growth as well as our commitment to the most authentic healing modality out there.

If you have experienced this wound of toxic love, my heart goes out to you. I am sorry that happened. I want to invite that part of you to experience something different and possible. Something genuine and real. Something that leads you to experience a new relationship to the pain and trauma, with transparency, honesty, and heart-open advocacy.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.