Seeking The Payoff Of Being Felt

By Raphael Awen

Every impulse of energy moving through you and around you is an expression of something that simply wants to be felt.

What you are doing or not doing today; where you are going or not going, is all about an energy flow of choices that are seeking the payoff of being felt. This is also true for everyone around you.

It isn’t money that makes the world go round, but rather feeling. Money is only one of many different feeling containers.

We are learning that consciousness itself is what underlies all matter. In that we are also learning that what we previously called ‘inanimate objects’ are not only capable of feeling, but produce measurable feeling state reactions to changes of emotional energy.

Your heart, and your willingness to feel the reactions that are happening inside of you and all around you are the animation system that move you through life and onto your next places.

Are you craving a certain kind of change in your life? Being willing to feel that craving and what it’s deeply about is what allows it to flow into your life, rather than leaving you stuck in an unfulfilled craving.

Feeling is an exchange, a ‘from’ and a ‘to’. It happens in relationship, and in that, it doesn’t occur where only one exists. Relationship requires an other. When you are feeling yourself, you are showing up as this other to feel a part of yourself. As you feel yourself more and more in this way, your relationships with others shift in order to take on this same feeling quality.

This is also true of the Divine, whom we all are and are all subpersonas of. The Divine couldn’t know the flow of feeling were it not for the feeling flowing through you and your life circumstances.

Feel your next impulse that you might choose. What is wanting to be felt underneath that impulse? Are you going about on autopilot? What is the feeling payoff for a part of you to remain on autopilot? Maybe it’s a kind of not-feeling payoff. But being numb is also another feeling state that like all feeling states, actually wants to be felt. It needs to be felt for it to move onto what is beyond it.

No matter how challenging a set of life circumstances you face; no matter what admitted ‘wounds’ you may carry, there is something soooo fundamentally and profoundly right about you!

You are love out seeking to know and feel love. Love at its core wants to be felt. Love wants to reward you for your willingness to feel. Love wants to fill your cup.

You are love’s beloved.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

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Join Our ‘Feeling Your Inner Masculine’ Live Stream On Facebook

by Kalayna Colibri

Ah, I’m so excited to be doing my first solo live stream on my Facebook feed tomorrow at 3pm CDT!

I hope you will join your heart and soul with mine as I share about my current process working with my Inner Masculine and offer some ways to be in this process yourself, especially if you are a woman, based on what I’m learning and experiencing. Of course, men are welcome to come too and I’m sure the women would actually LOVE to feel you there with us! So much of this could absolutely apply to you and your own explorations of your masculinity as well.

The wounded masculine wants to be transmuted… it wants to ascend with us and be loved. It is an energy that has been in the forefront for SO long, yet in any moment we have the opportunity to go within and feel our own contribution to this collective energy. It’s another opportunity to love ourselves, ultimately, and LOVE our conditioning, which IS the way to transmute it for good! Also, even as women, we do need our Inner Masculine energies to really collaborate with us as we lead what we’re meant to lead and find our Queen-ness in response to life and to a Sacred Union mate too.

It’s in my heart to hold this as an opportunity for a Q & A experience for everyone and to share transparently about what I’m feeling within myself, so bring along your questions, comments and personal experiences and let’s talk for a bit.

The live stream will be on held on my Facebook feed only: facebook.com/kalaynacolibri

If you cannot make it tomorrow, you can catch the recording which I will be publishing Youtube and then here on the blog as well.

Much love!
Kalayna

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Lone Wolf Phase, Drawing Soul Family – Day 20: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 20 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I talk about healing abandonment wounding, conscious community, moving out of the lone wolf phase, and drawing your soul and star family. Conscious community is the reality that I have lived in for many years now and it is precious to me to offer and invite others to feel what this means for them as well. I talk about the SoulFullHeart group session experience that is a two day process group with energy healing here monthly in Puerto Vallarta, which I co-led with Raphael after filming this video.

I talk about how as we are being invited to move into soul family connections and conscious community and what comes up with this is often our ‘mixed bag’ birth family experience. Most of us were the ‘black sheep’ of our families and just felt like we didn’t fit in or were resonant with family values around spirituality, religion, etc. Parts of us can just feel like we ‘don’t belong’ in our families and with friends as well. This is the place to go to and feel in order to open up to soul family and very resonant ground with other people. We need to feel what wasn’t resonant to us and parts of us and validate it. You can draw your soul tribe as you draw your tribe from within, your heart draws your parts out as your 5D self broadcasts openness and compassion to feel those painful scenes from childhood and teenagehood of not belonging.

The other aspect that impacts our capacity to draw and let in soul family connections is abandonment wounding. One level comes from parts feeling like “I don’t belong in this family”, this if often from our 3D Inner Child and Inner Teenager. And the other level comes from being disconnected from our star family, which needed to happen in order to fully come into 3D life here. Although we chose it on a soul level, parts of us feel this disconnection deeply, especially what we call our Star Seed Child. This is the magical child that comes from the stars, yet it feels really lost and really abandoned until being connected to.

Here is a writing about the lone wolf phase and moving out of it:http://in5d.com/is-it-time-to-stop-being-the-lone-wolf-in-…/

Here is a writing about conscious community: https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/coming-together-living-in-…/

Thank you for joining me on this twentieth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos:https://www.youtube.com/watch

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog athttps://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

 

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Your Demons Are Your Angels Unheard – Day 19: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen & Gabriel Heartman (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 19 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, SoulFullHeart Facilitator Gabriel Heartman joins me to read from and talk about a writing and topic that feels so relevant and timely to the ongoing collective and personal ascension process.

This is an excerpt from his writing: “In this moment I feel you.  I feel you because I have been you.  There are voices, or intense energies, that just don’t seem to leave you alone. They permeate your BEing, making themselves at home with your mental body and wreaking havoc with your emotional body. You are becoming aware of so much around you. Being as sensitive as you are you pick up on it and it just finds its way INside. Sticking to the stuck places that have yet to be felt and unravel. It can be literally overwhelming. You may be even experiencing intense anxiety over what is going on inside. Wondering how you will ever get any peace of ¨mind¨. It is a daily life of maintaining your sanity in what feels like an insane world.

The thinning of the veil is elucidating your most hidden places. The ones you thought you had under control or weren’t even aware of. The contentedness is slowly losing its hold on your emotional reality. What I want to offer here is that there is a life-line. It is to actually go INsane. Which in this way means to go “into the healthy”. In our fear-sided consciousness, we have turned away from going into the deep emotional as the Holy Grail of our greatest gift to ourselves.

These energies have been called our inner Demons. They have felt like a haunting to some. An intense barrage of thought and emotion that have medicated by all sorts of prescriptions, whether drugs, or sex, or anything else that has aided as a distraction. Some may just be living with it trying to “get by” as best they can. I want to give a voice to these “demons”, for they are actually your unheard and unfelt angels. They have a message to deliver to you and you just haven’t had the means to be able to actually hear without being overwhelmed.”

Here is a link to read Gabriel’s entire writing: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2017/05/01/your-demons-are-angels-unheard/

Gabriel and I then talk about going into deeper feeling states or ‘shadow’ sides of depression, pain, anxiety, and those called our ‘inner demons’. We feel a connection with these energies as parts of ourselves and forming a relationship ‘with’ them is what allows these energies to heal, integrate, and share their gifts. Gabriel shares from his personal, many year process to be with these parts of himself and his process through spaceholding support with me and my mate Raphael.

We talk about how if you don’t have a means to have a relationship with these energies and parts, then you will seek anything to try to cope, divert, and relieve the feelings – such as through alcohol, drugs, sex, habits, suffering loops, even through spiritual practices, etc.

There is more to read here about the Metasoul and parts process: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
About the gatekeeper: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/gatekeepers

Here is a playlist of my guided meditations:https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

Thank you for joining me on this nineteenth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos:https://www.youtube.com/watch…

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog athttps://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

 

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Connecting With Archangels, Metasoul, And Divine Love – Day 18: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 18 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I talk about Archangels and how to feel and relate with them, with help from Archangel Metatron of course. I encourage a heart and intuitive guidance, feeling for a sense of resonance or not, led by you and what you experience with them, the Divine, and with any path or process that you are presented with. Metatron especially seems to want to collaborate with us, to share what he has to teach, and yet also offers an invitation for us to join in together.

I feel this invitation from the Divine as well, yet this can be hard for parts of us to let in due to unhealed unworthiness. What heals that unworthiness is feeling how the Divine loves you, not just you loving the Divine in a devotional way, yet rather letting in in a transactional way to experience infinite love. This is about having ‘with’ relationships to everything rather than ‘against’ or ‘to’ or ‘from’….love with yourself, your parts, others, and with the Divine.

I also talk about the Metasoul, our individuated soul source or what you could call your ‘higher self’ soul source, which I illustrate using the sacred geometric symbol of the Flower Of Life. In the SoulFullHeart process, we connect with Metasoul sisters and brothers directly, which are fragments or projections from the same soul source as yours. This is different than how past lives are usually related to, because these aspects are not past and yet are rather overlaying onto your timeline and ‘bleeding through.’ You get to know and connect with the Metasoul aspect in order to get into a gift exchange with more objectivity possible through this. And there seems to be exponential and quantum healing possible through Metasoul processing! There is more to read here about the Metasoul and parts process: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

Here is a playlist of my guided meditations:https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

Thank you for joining me on this eighteenth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos:https://www.youtube.com/watch…

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog athttps://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Navigating Relationships From The Inside Out – Day 17: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

 In today’s video, Day 17 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I talk a bit about why parts of us form initially as we feel the emotional and energectic dissonance of 3D reality, plus not being felt by our caregivers. It is the lack of digestion of what we were feeling in the moment that creates a more structured energy to form, plus masks, personas, walls.

The main thing I talk about today is relationships and how your inner relationship between your parts determines what you experience in outer relationships with others. As the soul wakes up and comes into the body, your relationships may shift as you do. This is a situation where you are awakening and those around you are not in the same way. I write more about that situation here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2017/11/05/inviting-others-to-come-along-with-you-navigating-relationships-during-awakening/
The partner who is not awakening and maybe ‘doesn’t want to change’ represents a part of you that doesn’t want to change either.

As you heal the polarization inside from one part of you to another, this changes the projection you put on others and the conflictual dynamics that you are drawn to. More compassion is happening from within which heals the polarized frequencies and you no longer need to draw it as a mirror in others.

The other dynamic I talk about is when two sacred union mates come together and have the capacity to be in union, yet don’t have the transactability from an emotionally mature place. The union is limited by the capacity of each partner to show up for it in terms of self love overflow from each of them providing the ground for it

Go here to read more about the Protector and other parts of you that we connect with in our process: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

Thank you for joining me on this seventeenth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7Pj3hPLsv0&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvIkhNtLWKs-osheX1SoBFpI

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog at https://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Moving Out Of The Void Space – Day 16: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

We are halfway through the series!! In today’s video, Day 16 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I talk about some possible shifts in perspective that you may be feeling at this point based on what I’ve been offering about the parts reality especially. I also invite you to engage with the videos in whatever order based on the subject that draws you, rather than feeling that you need to ‘catch up’ on them or ‘stay current.’ I give you a sense about what is coming up next in the series too.

I talk today about the void space, which I describe in this writing: “Then, there is the void. It feels like many souls will be in this as consciousness continues to shift and change. Maybe you are in this now or, at least, in moments? The void is the space in between the dips of necessary purgings and clearings and the peaks of feeling connected to Divine love, All That Is, the sense of your Higher Self kNOWingness. The void is the place that is the ‘during’…….the AFTER of the old and yet BEFORE the new has fully come in.”

I share about my experience of a deep void space living off-grid on a remote ranch, without much money, going into a cocoon of deeper soul awakenings especially……..to emerge out eventually to serve and share about one and a half years ago now. I needed this void space to be with myself, heal my parts, and deepen my connection with nature as well. Yet, it was important to move out of that space as well to come into my service of love self.

The invitation is to let love come into the void space through community, intimacy, and connection. To move out of that void and into letting love in and trusting love again. It can be challenging for parts of us to trust love again, such as the Protector who feels protective of our Inner Teenager, who feels like it will be rejected to trust relationships again. You can get into suffering over suffering if you stay ‘overlong’ in the void space.

Go here to read the full writing that I shared today – Moving From The Isolation Of The Void Space: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2017/10/28/moving-from-the-isolation-of-the-void-space-and-into-being-filled-up-with-love/

Go here to read more about the Protector and other parts of you that we connect with in our process: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

The book I mention sharing my experiences in my void space at the ranch called Keep Waking Up! is here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books

Thank you for joining me on this sixteenth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7Pj3hPLsv0&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvIkhNtLWKs-osheX1SoBFpI

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog at https://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Meet Your Inner Protector – Day 15: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 15 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I talk more about the Inner Protector, the part of people that we connect with first in our SoulFullHeart process. Related to parts work, I mention Hal and Sidra Stone, two psychotherapists who have done extensive subpersonality work including recognizing a “Protector/Controller’ part in people, plus Carl Jung, who recognized subpersonalities as well in his own way and method.
 
I describe the common characteristics and energies of Protectors, based on people we’ve worked with in session space, especially during the last year. Starting your connection with your Protector gives you access to other parts of yourself, such as the Inner Teenager, Inner Child, Inner Punisher, etc. It is the part that is ‘standing at the door’ to protect these more vulnerable or shadow-based parts.
 
The Protector energy seems to come in right away, usually at birth, to shield you from the harsh, third dimensional frequencies here. They are a very necessary ‘suit’ to guard you in 3D life, yet get overly protective over time and ‘fused’ to your 3D reality consciousness, forgetting that their more porous and angelic nature. They can return more to this energy as a guide and channel through connection with you.
 
I recommend doing the guided meditation in Day Six of this series to meet your Protector, then do a letter exchange with them back and forth where you offer that you would like to connect with them and get to know them. Then, write down their response back. You can then do these sentence completions as well with the Protector answering as many times as they want:
 
Mom always/never; Dad always/never; the good/bad things about mom are; the good/bad things about dad are; current/recent romantic partner never/always; The good things about the 3D world are….;The bad things about the 3D world are….; I feel protective of you whenever….; Love always/never; Feelings are….;The 3D God picture is…;Money is….;The good/bad things about birth family are…
 
This beginning connection with your Protector can be hugely supported and bridged by engaging in SoulFullHeart sessions with a facilitator, as you can then differentiate further your energy from theirs, plus others parts as well. More about sessions here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
 
Day Six Guided meditation to meet your Inner Protector that I mentioned in this video: https://youtu.be/7ciJIvrn0xA?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvIkhNtLWKs-osheX1SoBFpI
 
Go here to read more about the Protector and other parts of you that we connect with in our process: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
 
Thank you for joining me on this fifteenth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!
 
Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7Pj3hPLsv0&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvIkhNtLWKs-osheX1SoBFpI
 
You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog at https://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.
 
Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

It’s Ok Not To Be Ok – Day 14: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 14 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I offer about a sense of self permission that comes from offering to yourself and parts of you that, “It’s Ok Not To Be Ok”.

I read from a previously shared and popular writing…..”It’s OK not to be OK….putting down the masks of OKness or being positive all the time. Being vulnerable to show what is really going in your heart. Sharing your tears, your fears, your concerns, your pain with those who can feel you. Being real with what parts of you are feeling and reacting to in every moment. This self permission space allows the feelings to BE, to be felt, and eventually to heal.”

Here is the link to read the rest of the It’s Ok Not To Be Ok writing: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2017/10/07/its-ok-not-to-be-ok/

I offer about not going to battle with our feelings or numbing and drugging them, yet rather seeing them as offering a heart and soul story for us and to respond to them with compassionate curiousity. If you had been told “It’s Ok Not To Be OK” as a child and felt in your feelings, you could have learned how to hold space for yourself and your feelings. Instead parts of you learn how to protect, distract, deflect, etc. due to 3D conditioning from your caregivers.

Very often in spiritual offerings it can be about finding the positive; don’t get ‘too low’ in feelings; find only bliss. This creates a gap between your awakening high states and the reality of your emotional bodies’ wounding and reactivity. More bliss and joy can come up when there is no energy going toward transcendence or suppression of feelings. I offer that the Divine wants us to feel ourselves and our parts of us; to be real about what we are feeling; and to feel what is real.

I also share some of my process over the years with parts of myself and my discoveries of my emotive ground of being and where reactions were actually coming from. Go here to read more about parts of you that we connect with in our process: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

Thank you for joining us on this fourteenth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7Pj3hPLsv0&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvIkhNtLWKs-osheX1SoBFpI

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog at https://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Being With The Inner Punisher/Critic

by Kalayna Colibri

befriend inner critic

‘Parts work’ is one level of what we offer in SoulFullHeart. It is the foundation of our healing practice and path. It is what inspires us to keep going IN… into ourselves for more nourishment and love that comes from this work, and into relationships that will always be a reflection of our inner universes. There is so much inside of each of us as humans in transition, learning to remember who we really are. We are fractured to a certain degree because we have needed to become this way in order to cope with 3D reality and the heaviness of what we came here to grow through and alongside. We ultimately cannot really be fractured or broken or anything BUT whole, yet, ask any part of you and they will likely say that this is their experience of life – separation, disconnection, suppression.

There are so many parts of you that call to you in this work. One of the most powerful ones to work with is the Inner Punisher/Critic. This is the part that is so prickly and often hard to be with… the hardest part to really love, for they throw so much at you and at others too in order to keep love out. The more love you let into your life, sometimes the harder they clench their fists. They are so often afraid. Afraid of letting go of the comforting discomfort of how they feel about you, about others, and ultimately about themselves. They judge harshly, starting with you, and sometimes act stealthily, hiding themselves somehow, often amongst the din and cries within you.

Their feelings about your body, your relationships, your job, YOU and any aspect of your life, become normalized frequencies inside of you. It becomes normal to think of yourself in certain ways and you may not even catch the vitriol that comes from you towards others, even in the form of ‘friendly’ teasing, that really has a bite underneath it. After working with your Inner Punisher/Critic in the many layers they come with, your desire to be around any energy of criticism, ‘funny’ or not, especially from you to you, diminishes in a big way. Often it is these harsh inner frequencies and judgments that bring friends and birth family members together. It is familiar to feel this way, so the idea of questioning it may feel ludicrous at first. Yet what if something more were possible in all of your relationships and especially in how you feel about yourself?

The Inner Punisher/Critic can be hard to stay in the room with. Often when you begin feeling them directly, they hurl insults at you, rolling out pages and pages sometimes of how they feel about you and about your life. As your outer world reflects your inner world, you begin to see and feel how this energy has leaked out to others you interact with and informed your approach to yourself and to any area of your life. It can play out in themes of workaholism, exercising only for the sake of your self-image and ‘how you feel about yourself’, and abuse (the definition of which deepens as you work with this part and begin to heal these frequencies of self-abuse, however they show up).

The journey to genuine self-love must involve feeling the Inner Punisher/Critic. This energy cannot be transcended, only transmuted. The work and the room you must walk into inside yourself in order to start being with this part is worth it. It becomes like holding a kicking, screaming teenager who just needs to find their tears of release from all the energy they’ve held and the life molds they are struggling to fit into. This part does soften and change eventually. Yet they really need your help to motivate them with love, with an ongoing promise that you will be there for and with them, and that you will always hold that they are so much more than this job they have given themselves for very good reasons.

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.