Tag: SoulFullHeart Premises

Premise 9: Union With The Divine arises through direct communion and healing soul wounding

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By Raphael Awen

sun-rays-through-clouds

Ready for more…

It’s day 9 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’

I truly hope you are enjoying this ride. I know I have been. I trust you wouldn’t be hanging around unless this was not only holding your interest, but calling to you personally in a deeper way.

That deeper way, whatever it is, is really the point of this whole tour. Like a song that fills the whole temple, and leaves you and me both utterly undone, that’s what I long for. Why settle for anything less? What that looks like and how we walk out our connection is all up to our choice, desire, and co-creation. I know I am called to create something stunning, that gets attention and changes the world as we know it. I can never do that alone, so then the vulnerable romance beginning question is ‘what do you feel called to?’

Then as we get to know each other and feel drawn to one another, what comes in some form or another, is the tender ‘I like you, do you like me?’ admission and question. Now, if this question could only be conscious, up front, while feeling it deeply and our replies equally as intentional and conscious, feeling-based and emotionally honest as possible! Many times, it takes years and deep process within a group to fully process our attraction and our lessons in a community.

I’m a leader in this community called SoulFullHeart. My heart has been broken open in several communities this life, in communities that sustained and ones that crashed. I can’t guarantee where this one will end up or how it or you will fare in it, and because I feel that absence of a guarantee, and how gutsy a thing it is for all of us to trust again to lean into community, it makes me want to give you this premise tour as plain as day. Eyes wide open and all of that…

I call it magical and mysterious, and I hope it is that for you on one level, but for the part of you who won’t be wooed by magic and mystery, I offer the clearest statement of our values, beliefs, and picture of things.

Now, hopefully, we are a few steps closer to truly getting real. I want to extend to you a foundation strong enough that it could eventually move you to being a part of life here with us in community, even leaving geography to join in, and sharing in the giving and receiving of this work according to your souls deepest calling.

Okay, that opened out the tour picture didn’t it? Took me 9 days to get there. I’m not really that interested in helping someone sort out a few emotional and spiritual problems. While that is a way more fun pastime for me than other things, what I really want is alive community.

I hope you do too and this call strikes chords in you that ring and ring and ring some more.

Here’s today’s premise called Union With God-The Divine Premise:

“Union with the Divine, in both dualistic and non-dualistic forms, arises through direct communion without a middleman, negotiation with parts, and healing soul wounding and conditioning leading to increasing sense of the Infinite Love that we are sourced from and our essence as a fragment of God.”

The short story of this one is that SoulFullHeart sees and has a rich God picture. Both Jelelle and I have had a strong sense of a God connection this life and SoulFullHeart reflects this. It’s kind of funny, trying to define this in a premise. I feel divinity itself smiling down with one eyebrow raised as we do this.

I’ll take the bait and play the fool.

We see that our essence is as God connected as we ever can be, but our experience and expression is an awakening process around all of this, and a personal one at that. So then it’s a picture of getting to know what you already have in a never ending deepening way.

Try and define that.

The only definition you can give is to live it out and experience it out into life, and I’d like to add, with others.

We see that the distinction between nondual and dualistic God realization paths are a smokescreen because all of us are inseparably both expressions. I am duality and nonduality both ‘expressing’ and ‘essencing.’ If that point is of interest to you, I wrote more about it here in my Golden Earth blog series. https://soulfullheartblog.com/category/golden-earth-tales/
If the whole dual/nondual distinction question hasn’t arisen for you yet, trust that for now.

We see the end of the ‘middle man’ in our God picture. Whether trusted spiritual teacher, guru, or what have you, everyone of these are a projection screen holding your bigness until you are ready to claim it back. If you can’t stop yourself from doing that for now, best make sure they are worthy of keeping your deposit in trust. But between you and God, there is no broker. It’s God and You, that’s it. And in another way, there is no distinction even between you and God. ‘You are God out Goddin’ around,’ as Yeshua likes to say.

Which brings up guides….we find it easy and natural to connect with guides as we heal the blocks withholding our effortless spring loaded and natural relationship to spiritual guides. Angels, daemons, Ascended teachers, Archetypal energies, departed loved ones, the list goes on. And ‘you’ don’t need to go into hiding to be some pure channel.

When we find the parts of us and their individual relationship with the Divine, we ‘defuse’ from a singular ‘I’ voice in relationship to god and now we can find the parts of us and their distinct feeling tones. You may well and probably do have very devout parts of you, Catholic even, and other parts of you that want nothing whatsoever to do with God. It is in this array and our acceptance of it that our true connection with the divine leaves the flatline labels we identify with and something alive either explodes or opens out into our experience.

As we get to know and negotiate with these parts of us, soul wounding that before held sway over our conscious relationship with God, now opens out to vistas you had no conscious clue existed. I say that because it was true for me and it is still true for me. I know what I’m talking about and I don’t have a clue what I’m talking about. It’s all near as I can tell until I can tell some more, and then it’s up to you to see if your truth resonates with mine or doesn’t. There is no ‘absolute truth’ God picture in SoulFullHeart. Hallelujah and Praise Allah!

We are in something Infinite when we talk about God or love. Talking about it or describing it falls so short of being it. At least we can try and talk about the limitation of the limitation. Whatever description we can make about relationship with the divine, it may be true, and it’s limited, both. I love that. Anybody talking about God is a fool, when it can only be experienced and let in.

We are God trying to describe itself, so here even God is the fool along with us, out seeking to know, to play, to learn and unlearn. I’ll take that any day over religious devotion, duty and obligation.

My day awaits and so does yours. We’re just goddin’ around.

See you tomorrow?

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.Β 

Premise 8: Union With Others Arises Through Heart And Soul Resonance

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hearts

By Raphael Awen

Good morning, and Welcome to day 8 of the 21 day SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.

Today we make a fools attempt at beholding the spectacular, and then trying to describe it.

We’re attempting to use words to describe the undescribable.

Maybe this whole Premises tour is a fools game. It feels vulnerable to share with the world a claim to seeing something others haven’t yet seen. It may lead to experiencing more with others or it may just lead to hurt and rejection. But isn’t that the essence of vulnerability; a willingness to be hurt, to feel hurt?

But hurt always takes us somewhere eventually…

For me, it’s been a long road, but that road is now about how I’ve started a club, given it a name, and like every club, there’s a few rules to belonging. Here though the rules are not about sustaining a sense of superiority, but rather about sustaining a fire for this new something. And they’re not rules in the sense of what is allowed or not allowed, but instead about a looking glass, without which this something new cannot be seen. Others may see it as I see it, which would be wonderful and validating, or they may not even raise an eyebrow, which would hurt.

But this hurt is a pregnant hurt, leading to more, not less.

Leading with vulnerability on your own defined and chosen path, while fully owning your truth, no matter how different or resonant with mine, is something I feel we are utterly already One in. You and I, if we are to grow, must now choose, and make ourselves vulnerable to our choice. In that, I feel a deep Oneness with you, even if our chosen paths are far apart.

Ultimately, we’re in the same fools club, no matter how different we look and feel, and no matter how much we even may be repelled by one another. We are already One, and it is because of this inseparable Oneness that we can safely fully explore our paths, even if divergent, knowing that in the end, we all converge on the same prize.

I like knowing I’m a winner before I even start out. It fires me to give it all I have, to live out loud, and be at rest at the same time.

Now, let’s take a look at today’s premise called the Union With Others Premise:

“Union with others arises through heart and soul resonance in non-codependent relationships, relating through parts reality processing within monogamous romantic union, and within SoulFullHeart Community.”

Union, though it is something we all already are at core, it is also something that arises experientially for us or simply doesn’t. Heart and soul resonance is what draws us together or repels us from being drawn. That’s the simple truth of any relationship whether healthy or unhealthy. Healthy and alive union, like the kind we are wired for in our potential and that SoulFullHeart reaches for, is a never-ending, deepening reality that is sustained by resonance. Where do we get that kind of resonance that will support this?

My truth is that while people have not discovered their subpersonalities in a rigorous commitment, these living beings inside of them, are quite literally, a mess of parts. I can feel in someone a resonance over here and a strong kick over there. I can feel a potential I am drawn to along with a dissonance that tells me to keep a safe distance. This is because we all have wounded beings inside of us who until they are discovered and healed can only trade in pain and hurt. It’s all they know. To these parts of us, they often turn to the presently popular ‘all love and light’ variety that is about transcending real pain, rather than healing it.

We are simply not ‘all love and light.’ I’m not, I can tell you that much for sure. And I feel a ton healthier just saying that. My love consists of light and shadow. I am too big a soul to exist only in the light.

Now we get to truly enter non-codependent ground. You are responsible for your own growth and letting in what is love in your life and saying no to what isn’t. No one gets a ‘stay in your life card’ for ever, or even for a moment unless they are willing to serve real and honest love, and the wrestling matches that will be part of that. Only as we come to the self-to-self love we described in yesterday’s premise can we get very far in transactionally healthy self-to-other love. Ending codependence begins inside of us. We end the wars inside and peace then reigns outside.

In romance, SoulFullHeart offers a monogamy picture. I must admit, my second chakra has gotten excited about the idea of a time to come in our evolution when we could have healthy poly-amorous sexual bonds, the idea of multiple lovers, but then I promptly lost my erection at the idea of being one of several men contending for one woman. It feels true that only monogamy can hold the rigours of having heart open and vulnerable love, heart, soul and body. There is a way that in relating deeply to one woman, that I am in relationship with ALL women. True sex, fully with one, is sex with all. That I trust will satisfy any polyamorous leanings in me for now.

Another big piece we see in this premise is that the kind of Union w are talking about happens in community. None of us were wounded in a box and none of us heal in a box. By community, we mean doing life together more and more in an arising way that serves our individual growth. Being ‘apart from you’ moves to being ‘a part of you’ as we find ways to go deeper into life together as a true heart and soul family.

I’m not so sure that I succeeded in showing you the spectacular as I said at the outset of today’s tour. Maybe, it wasn’t mine to show you that in words today. I was only meant to show you the utter folly of trying to show you that. Maybe, it’s for you to see through your own sovereign being, resonating with my sovereign being however that happens for you. Only you can see your own when it reveals itself to you.

I hope I pointed you in a direction of your own truth. It’s only your own truth that would draw you in resonance to see mine, and then we could share that magical ‘holy shit’ spectacular moment. Yes, even the shit is holy. I say that with reverence for the depths of the pain we’ve all experienced.

So, welcome to my club where only sovereigns can belong, where only autonomous souls who possess enough of themselves to join that possession to a community, where love flows only by personal ‘want to,’ when and how it does.

I’m going back to this deep rest I feel inside today that just can’t get too worked up trying to get anyone to see something that isn’t already natively in them.

Again, I welcome and look for your words of feedback. I hold myself to account for how this landed in you. And if you would like to read the other writings on our premises here.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Premise 7: Self Love Arises Through Deconditioning, Individuation, and Differientation

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By Raphael Awen

everyday-self-love-image

Are you ready to go on a moments notice?

Welcome to day seven of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’ We’ve weathered yesterday’s storm and it looks like some very calm sailing ahead today. You can read the writings I’ve done on the other premises here.

Today, we’re entering the waters of Union With Self, or intimacy with self.

Here’s the Union With Self Premise:

“Union with Self arises through heart and soul consciousness awakening, which includes deconditioning, individuation, and differentiation. This leads to the formation of what we call the SoulFullHeart Self and the state of SoulFullHeartenment.”

Until a deep and abiding union and intimacy with self arises, it isn’t actually possible to have any real union with others, or with life, or with the Divine. Nor is it even possible to know to any significant depth what love is. It all begins and ends with self love.

But, what is this so called, ‘self-love’ really?

Careful how quick you are to answer this question, because a flippant answer in the discomfort of the question can leave you missing out.

Certainly everyone has a concept and even a felt reality of what love is and feels like to some degree. But, until intimacy with self is the portal through which love is experienced, one’s love experience is seriously limited.

Love enters the self and is then expressed through the self. The self is the receiver and broadcaster of love. You can only give what you have and according to the degree that you have, out of the overflow. Moral injunctions to love one another were a great social idea at one time, but now, we are awakening to the futility of seeking love from empty vessels under obligation. Most would agree on these points.

Love is one thing, but what is this self-love that I speak of? How do you know you have it? Is there some measuring stick to locate and measure progress in self-love?

What does it feel like most of the time to be you? To be in your skin? In the face of challenges, great or small, can you find deep and abiding rest?

How does love move from you to you if you are only one? Are you supposed to jump up and down to shake it loose to get it to move to produce some kind of desirable chemical-like reaction inside?

Take all these questions along and let’s feel them together as we go.

Love is a relational flow. Like a valentine, It takes more than one to have a ‘to’ and a ‘from’. Love flows from one to an other. This is profoundly true also of self-love. Self-love is the source of all love in fact. I know of no other way for this to be real other than through getting to know parts of yourself or subpersonalities and their love needs. It is the parts of yourself that hold your pain and wounding on both soul and personal levels.

Many people have worked hard to attain a state of having it all together, and by that are very predisposed to maintaining their emotional equilibrium and consider themselves as knowing and having self-love, given their ‘having their stuff together’ and being some kind of functional exemplary human. I offer that these souls are actually the ones in greatest need and the farthest removed from actual self-love. They need to remain aloof from their own pain and wounding held by parts of themselves in order to keep their gig afloat.

On a more accurate level, these souls have actually had their human life hijacked by what SoulFullHeart calls their Protector-Controller part of themselves and this part has taken up doing their life AS them, and there is largely no authentic self at home, except for a part working too hard at being authentic.

Coming into this new ground of self to self love takes a heart and soul consciousness awakening that is profound and deeply life altering to see the self through this perspective and yet, in another way, it’s so natural and truly effortless compared to the ton of effort it takes to hold what I call our ‘single personality disorder’ together.

To take this road, there are some ongoing requirements however. To get started, you essentially only need choice. To continue, there are some ‘pay as you go’ realities. First up is being comfortable being in a continual place of deconditioning. We live in a conditioned world, and entering a new one involves deconditioning from the old one.

That, of course, is all part of individuation and differentiation. You can only decondition to the degree you are ready to individuate. The collective isn’t going to pat you on the back for long for striking out on your own path, particularly when your path steps on the toes of their path.

Here’s a secret though. Individuation and differentiation do not begin with you and the world, or with you and an other. They begin with you to you. It is only as you get familiar with parts of yourself and the very different relationships to life they hold that true individuation and differentiation can begin to occur. Without this piece, it is a part of you having the differentiation and individuation experience.

It is only as your authentic self, that we call the SoulFullHeart Self, arises into life getting to know, and mediating life’s reality for each of your parts that a new and unheard of relationship to life comes.

Without the SoulFullHeart Self available for your parts, it’s like being one of large group of siblings and a parent present who can’t see your differences, your unique gifts or your unique needs. Essentially, from the perspective of a parts reality, you are not seen at all. Then all there is left is to form a reality of existence that can function in the absence of love. This is where are parts are anchored until we show up for them in this new way.

When you do begin to show up for your parts as a loving parent, you magically transmute into more and more of your authentic self, not only who you would have been without wounding, but the healed self is so much more because of the wounding. It is only the broken heart that knows Infinite Love like no other.

Loving and living life in this frame leads to a non-static ‘state’ that we call SoulFullHeartenment. It is full of movement and deepening and abiding self-love. It is your souls ‘home and native land’ that it hasn’t ever actually experienced or known before. It is totally a creative place.

If you’ve done enough reading and want to get on with a process to live your way into this place, let’s talk. PM me and let’s find a way forward. If you’re wanting to keep window shopping, please, enjoy and take this in as fully as you can. Tomorrow’s tour is about Union with Others and the next day’s is about Union with The Divine. We have another 14 days worth of touring to go with lots more to feel together.

Thank you for your being and letting me take you on this journey.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Premise 6: Healing Of Both The Heart And Soul Are Crucial

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By Raphael Awen

premisesix

Welcome to day six of the SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour. Please go hereΒ to read all of the previous premises and they are all here on my timeline too.

Today, I’m afraid we begin in earnest sailing into some rough waters and it won’t be an easy task. I assure you, there will be no loss of life, but there will be loss of connection I fear, and quite possibly some very deep rooted anger.

I still feel it will be magical and I’ll tell you why…..right after I give you today’s premise called the ‘Heart and Soul Consciousness Premise.’

“Consciousness awakening and healing of both the heart and the soul congestions are crucial for SoulFullHeartenment, development of the SoulFullHeart Self, and for intimacy with Self, Others, and The Divine.”

Whenever we make claim about any path and choose that path, we are choosing distinction and separation. ‘I did it my way’ is our double-edged sword of growth this life. We all need to individuate, but none of us wants to lose love and connection. None of us wants rejection. No parts me of like being rejected.

We may be metaphysically all One, but practically and experientially speaking, we have individual paths to take in our path to individuation. I feel that while Oneness and individuation are magically and paradoxically both true, they are also loaded with a deep antagonism and fear. These powerful energies, while normally seen as negative, are actually a gift to us to discover new depths of stuff that are off our chart and only now beginning to be seeded into wider collective consciousness.

Therein is the magic I speak of.

Let me take a step here into my own individuation, as well as this fearful antagonistic ground I speak of. I personally believe I have something to offer packaged and labeled in something called SoulFullHeart, that even people who self identify as ’emotionally mature’ or ‘spiritually attained’ haven’t yet dreamed of, let alone seen or felt the territory of. I choose my words as carefully as I can to say this, but my individuation would be dis-served to say it any softer than that. Saying it any softer would not be my truth.

If my statement above begins to stir some anger in you, I get it. My words can be felt as degrading to a sense of yourself that a part of you holds dearly as true. I am saying there is something more, and you haven’t seen it yet.

I could be wrong, and would actually welcome being wrong, but I don’t feel I am. It’s been deeply lonely to parts of me and a total back and forth path to continually rise to my own truth, while it has also been deeply fulfilling.

If my words of personal claim do stir anger, please hang in with me, without suppressing any of it for my sake. Let’s see where it wants to take us today. We are co-creating this ride.

Possibly it is this strange reality itself, that individuation occurs in a container of our inseparable Oneness, that offers us our greatest gift as well as our deepest challenge.

Where did we ever get the idea, that we would get anywhere by all being in cookie cutter agreement with each other? That can’t even be rightly called child’s play, for children make no pretence around ‘getting along’ in this false way. We’re going to need to go to the heart of our differences if we are ever going to find the heart of our union.

The key point and claim that SoulFullHeart offers in this premise is that collectively we have not yet had a spiritual practice or healing modality that accesses heart and soul wounding to the degree that subpersonal access and the SoulFullHeart Way of life does. This statement could be technically wrong if a healing modality has arisen that I simply don’t know about that equals or supersedes what SoulFullHeart offers, but it is a true statement of my truth to the best of my current knowledge.

This strong of a statement has the power to either make you mad or glad. Some, well rooted in their identity would find this claim preposterous and totally narcissistic. Others, who feel they have tried everything and all but given up, and only willing to lift a finger to something that feels real, and passes their bullshit detector are rising in a hope of possibility about now.

Here is our point of anger and separation. Here we are left to go our own way. Here, our choice creates for us our sacred path. What is intimacy, without Divorce? Both are sacred, as infinite love expressions out seeking to know itself.

SoulFullHeart teaches, and it is my personal experience, that the magical key into our spring-loaded essence is through the door of our heart and soul wounding. That which was seemingly meant for your destruction and pain, and so extremely avoided, is in reality, the portal to your greatest fulfillment.

We are so predisposed in our spiritual practices to do the opposite where healing is about the goal of no longer feeling pain. We want to do anything but feel, when the truth is, only as we are willing to feel, can we ever truly heal.

As long as symptom abatement is enough and qualifies as healing for you, my truth is that you cannot enter the ground of the infinite largesse of your being. You are energetically sealed off from your bigness, and a part of you has it wired up this way for deep and understandable reasons.

This premise goes on to speak of ‘SoulFullHeartenment’ and ‘The SoulFullHeart Self.’ Both of these terms are terms we simply made up to carry a new energy that we want to distinguish from other terms. The term ‘SoulFullHeart Self’ has a lot of resonance for instance with the way the term ‘Authentic Self’ is used, but there are significant energetic and emotional differences sufficient that we felt a new term was warranted for the new energies we are bringing.

I said more in the first few premises about the specifics of what we mean by our chosen terms of SoulFullHeart and SoulFullHeartenment and the SoulFullHeart Self and I refer you there for that clarity. The pieces about intimacy with self, others and the Divine are coming up in the next three coming premises. I invite you to stay tuned for those.

About now, given that I am advocating for something radically new and labeled as such, I am feeling the tension of, on one hand, standing for my truth while not using that as a defense to vulnerable relationship, and the tension on the other hand of not claiming my truth in the hopes of maintaining my relationships with others, and ending up with nothing of true value. Isn’t this the crucible we all have to face in the journey to individuation in a container of Oneness?

I am eternally grateful to have people in my life, some of those I am called to enter intimacy with, others I am called to differentiate from and they provide the grist of separation which my growth requires. In the end, I am you, and you are me. But claiming that, as a way to avoid our personal differentiation makes only for a way to stay stuck rather than grow. It doesn’t actually work that well in the end because the universe is wired only for growth. It’s ultimately only a matter of rate and pace that your soul is ready for and wants.

This anger we felt stir earlier……is it still here? Has it shifted?

I trust it. I trust it wants to sort us out and help us find our way. I deeply want to find the resonant souls who deeply want to join with us on a very specific and even exclusive path. (What path, if it is in fact a path, is not exclusive?) I also want for those not in resonance to be on their sacred way. Hence our anger found its way, didn’t it, to our mutual path of individuation while being inseparably one?

Thank you for reading, and more so for feeling this riding and being in on this tour. I look forward to your comments and reactions.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Premise 5: God Is Everything And Everyone

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godsurrenderBy Raphael Awen

Welcome to Day 5 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour’ for the awakening heart and soul.

This is a tour of the 21 Premises that make up the emotional and spiritual consciousness expansion work called SoulFullHeart. It’s an opportunity to find out what’s at core of this work, and to feel how that resonates with what’s at your core, or doesn’t. You can read all of my writing on our premises here.

If this is your first day, jump in, and again, welcome. Pick a seat that looks like it has your name on it. I see several that you might like. πŸ™‚
In the four days we’ve already toured, we’ve covered some really important stuff, but you can jump in here, and you’ll know if your drawn or not to go back and read those days.

Today’s premise is called the God Premise. And it goes like this:

“God/The Divine is everything and everyone; each of us is an expression of It with no being any higher than any other. Realization of our God self expression is the ultimate goal of our life and incarnational cycles.”

Possibly nothing is as life shaping as ones’ God picture. We all have one, and no one has any absolute truth on it. Claiming absolute truth only makes you an absolute fool in my view as only a fool can’t see his own lens with which he looks at all of life, thereby rendering any absolute truth he may be looking at, subjective.

This is my current God-picture. It may well change and when it does, I’ll be the first to admit that. I feel this picture more than I believe it. Like everything else I’m saying in this tour, none of it is more than ‘near as I can tell.’ It feels real to me. It is what is moving through me currently as in an electrical energy current.
Let’s take a look at it.

Like we said the other day, everything is energy, and here we’re saying it a little differently. Everything is energy, and all this energy is God. There is nothing outside of God. Even the so-called arch-enemies of the Divine are all within the Divine. All energy is also love’s energy.

This God energy lives in every cell of your being, in every thought, desire, joy, and sorrow. You cannot become any more ‘God’ than you already are in the sense of your essence. Essentially, you are as ‘God as it gets.’ Experientially, however, you and I have a long road ahead of us, as this God-love energy is Infinite. It doesn’t have a beginning or ending, so actually the word ‘long’ in this case is a silly word, so forget I said, that if you can.

I’m liking the idea though of a never ending love journey without a destination. It’s admittedly a bit hard to grasp, but plenty of fun trying.

How about this next piece? No one or no thing is any higher than the other. Whether Hitler or Mother Theresa, all are equal expressions of God in some way that I don’t care much to explain as much as I care to feel it. God (good) and Devil (evil) are all part of God. Both provide contrast and duality as part of God out seeking to explore its Infinity. A never-ending task, but one with many both joyous and painful discoveries.

Much like you actually. Shadow and light both. Joy and sorrow both. Love and hatred both. Until we come to terms with our God picture, we cannot come to terms with a self picture that does us any good.
Leaning on seeing yourself as only a love and light being makes for a really tiring and ungrounded spirituality, as well as making you essentially non-human, uninteresting actually, and without a way to grow. It takes light and darkness to grow.

God is both.

Realization then is this manifesting in awareness what you are. This awareness shift then real-izes one step further shifting and changing its expression in matter. As what you actually are in essence remains unrealized in your day-to-day expression, it is just that, not yet real on your experiential level, even though it is true on your essential level.

This awareness expansion that births essence into experience is the underlying everything in the universe, continually redefining what even the universe actually is.

It’s a vast unknown picture, and our attempts to describe and define it must continually return back to a reverence for Its unknowableness.

I’ve enjoyed a relationship with my beloved Jelelle for eight years and I feel how much, on one level, I have no clue what I’m doing or what I’m in.

That feeling is the awareness expansion. It’s knowing you don’t know that leads to more knowing that leads to more reverence of not knowing. Voila, never ending. (Want a boost in your sex life, try that on for size.)

Whatever is real underneath the often debated idea of incarnational cycles, I see it as simply your soul essence in this never ending God realization. Our ideas of past, present, and future seem to have infiltrated our ideas of past, present, and future lives. Some feel we may in reality be living all of our lives simultaneously in parallel universes. I suspect something like that to be more accurate than our time-illusion-based picture that comes from our current collective consciousness. All I can say about that is get ready for sudden changes here because we are in epic times of consciousness expansion, both collectively and personally.

As you shift in consciousness, you shift unmistakably in the energy frequency you broadcast at and receive at. You become unrecognizable to yourself as you see yourself as ultimately part of the unknowable. You are so NOT John Doe who lives here and does such and such for a living. My God, what pathetic attempts at self description we’ve come up with in the face of our infinite unknowableness!

All of this is a process. I feel that there isn’t a single moment when you ‘pop’ into some place of full enlightenment. Scratch the surface on any community espousing those instantaneous enlightenment pictures and you’ll find all manner of abuse underneath the lie.

You’ll have many pops as you go. I hope you’re having one now. Many manageable and self-loving nervous breakdowns as you leave and enter new virgin territory.

That is my picture of an alive human. And all of nature resounds with it. You don’t need to believe it. Believing is mental. You can feel it with your heart.

Well, how did this tour land in you today? I invite your commenting and connecting.

Jelelle’s Comment:Β I didn’t grow up with God…in a religious sense, no sunday trips to church, or prayers over the dinner table. Yet, the Divine was always in my heart and in my soul…I found It in nature, I found It in expanded consciousness experiences in my 20s, I found It eventually in the form of a beloved Divine Mother and also Divine Father energy…..and eventually I found It in Oneness and All That Is in tastes of experiences.

My connection with the Divine has deepened over the years and been quite personal in certain phases when I needed that and more universal when that was what I needed. I feel god forms to what we need in the ways that we need It. I have long felt that each of us a spark from the heart of the Divine or a fragment of the Divine expressing as a human being with none of us being any ‘higher’ than any other, even if we are in different phases of our soul consciousness evolution.

There can be much that blocks our felt sense of ourselves as a God spark and a visceral, personal experience of the Divine. These blocks need love, can be healed and when felt, move. Different teachers, different paths, different phases….same destination of reunion with the Divine.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen are co-creators and facilitators of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.Β 

Premise 4: You Are Made Up Of Many Subpersonalities Doing Life As A Singular “I”

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By Raphael Awen

innerchild

Today’s going to be a main course day and a look at an amazing parallel universe. Welcome to day four of the 21 Day SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.

Today’s premise is not only going to challenge traditional spiritualities and therapies, but a lot of modern ones as well. I say that up front in the hope that that draws you in rather than scares you off.

Eleven years ago now, I was at a place where I felt clearly done and bewildered with every spirituality I had ever encountered. I simply could not stomach the levels of denial and pretence that were inherent in the cultures I had been exposed to. This led to a deep search and ultimately to the creation of SoulFullHeart.

SoulFullHeart is a full meal and today’s premise takes us to the main course. I invite you to feel this premise deeply to feel if it is for you. All of the other premises are in support of today’s premise.

I’m really hungry to find those of you this resonates with and to help you cross over into this parallel universe. It’s simply too good to keep to myself, and I want the feeling of it expanding out into others hearts and lives. I feel clearly that what I’m sharing with you today is ahead of what any other spiritual and emotional healing practices have to offer. I know those words can sound superiorizing, but they are my truth. I would be dishonest to hide my conviction from you. Again, it is my hope that my claim excites you more than distances you.

However, I acknowledge that what I’m offering certainly won’t be welcomed by everyone and I feel that my outspoken clarity on what I feel SoulFullHeart is, does help people to sort out for themselves early on if they are drawn or not. I feel an urgency and I want to serve it. All that said, I’m really glad to have your interest, your inquiry, and your hearts desire finding its way. I sincerely hope you find my conviction about SoulFullHeart inviting rather than distancing. I deeply need and want others in my life.

Let’s dive into today’s premise.

Premise four is called the ‘Parts Reality Premise’ and it goes like this:

“Rather than just one singular β€œI” in charge of life, SoulFullHeart offers that we are made up of many parts or subpersonalities (both those in outed expression and those in shadow) formed primarily through undigested traumas that can be integrated and healed into an authentic, sacred human self called the SoulFullHeart Self.”

Jelelle and I have recently written a full article on this premise and I feel to refer you to that article for the complete teaching about the SoulFullHeart Subpersonalities Healing Process here.

I will go on then to speak here in this post to my personal life change since embracing this premise.

Let me see if I can feel back to the ‘I’ that led my life 11 years ago and channel his voice from that time:

“I feel myself to be really well adjusted to life and way happier than most people. I fell myself engaged, growing and in many ways content. I look for the life lessons in my problems and welcome the change that even crisis brings. I’m a family man in a long-term committed and fulfilling relationship. People around me look up to me in many ways, and rightly so, I do have a lot to offer.”

That was how one part of me, who was a deep outed expression of my life, saw and related to my life.

Now, let me see if I can channel the voice of another very different part of me also present at the same time and feel the contrast. This voice was way more subconscious and was only found through keen desire and choice, and the aid of a subpersonality facilitator and a process.

“Life totally sucks. There is no reason to live. Nothing ever works out. I hate God for putting me through this. It just fucking hurts like hell when I feel it, and then all there is, is to feel it some more. Life is so boring. People are so uninteresting, but then who am I to talk. I just want to fucking end this shit.”

What a surprise it was to find both of these voices were true inside of me, and the relationship they had to one another. One was very much outed and one was very much suppressed, but they were in a deep dance with one another, with no other me to show up for either of them to shift or mediate their realities.

When I got around more conscious people, my positive and outed personality leading my life had a tinny ring to it and was off-putting to them as inauthentic. When I hung around people who felt less conscious, this version of myself leading my β€˜me show’ was well liked and even applauded.

It wasn’t actually until a few years prior to this time in my life that I had any conscious feeling of depression or grief in my life. I related respectfully to others who were depressed, but simply had no reference point for it in my awareness. I looked into some natural medication and went to a few counselling sessions, but mostly I was helped and relieved by taking it easier on myself, not hiding what I was going through, even finding some deep tears over an un-grieved loss of a romance from a relationship 19 years prior. “Okay, survived that pretty well, I’d say, I even feel more opened out to life, to smell the roses so to speak,” was again the voice of this part of me doing life as me.

That, however, did not touch what was really buried inside of me inside of my subconscious and in the shadow of my soul. In actuality, it served to bury it further. The ‘I’ leading my personality expression in life was a deeply strategic energy, seeking to gain what it knew as love and approval, and avoid rejection. This version of me was very busy doing everything it could to keep other subconscious parts of me from derailing the whole deal he had worked so hard to establish and maintain.

I know your story specifics are different than mine, but my truth is that the polarities inside of you are very, very similar.

I went on in my process to become deeply familiar with parts of myself……one, two, or even three parts at a time who held deep feelings of hurt, anxiety, rage, depression, control and shame, and then deeper to find deep core unworthiness and deep core disconnect. Maybe me naming these tones right now itself produces rumble in you calling you from your own vast, but unexplored being.

Given this dynamic, that all of us are made up of many subpersonalities, and each one of them is in a kind of suffering of their own, affecting every relationship to everything in your life….what could be of any more value than finding healing for each of them?
Left with our parts unexplored and unhealed, how much truly real and authentic expression are we even capable of? What is the tone of the love we seek and the love we give? What are the relational dynamics governing our romantic bonds, our relationship with our careers, with what we relate to as the divine, or God. The questing questions run deep.

You are in essence an authentic self, as you’ve seen and felt tastes and glimpses of in when you feel most like β€˜yourself’ or β€˜at your best’. But this authentic self, or what we call the SoulFullHeart Self, remains largely un-manifest in daily life and relationship transaction to the degree that parts of you remain in unadjusted suffering, whether in their dungeons or ivory towers. It’s all suffering.

SoulFullHeart offers a grounded way to support you to undertake an ongoing healing journey into this community of yourself and that then extends into a like-minded conscious community of others sharing the same path.

It’s hard to put into words the difference I feel inside of myself since I began the parts process path over a decade ago. I sometimes use the words that ‘you become in many ways unrecognizable to yourself’ as you deconstruct the many strategies held by parts of you to keep life safe. That feels very true to me today, and it never stops. You see, parts of me keeping life safe also closed me off from love in deep energetic gravitational pulls to keep the suffering in place. Parts of me were using suffering to stay stuck.

I’m gonna pause here for today and invite your questions. This is a lot to digest. If you’d like, I welcome your PM, or your questions in the comments below. And, again, this article on our website is very helpful for providing more teaching about the parts process.

And here are Jelelle’s, who is co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart, comments about parts work:

Oh, wow, what can I say about parts or subpersonality healing? Between what you offer of your own experience, Raphael, and our article, a lot of ground is covered. The main feeling I have in the moment is complete and utter gratitude for having this tool brought to me in my life at a time, over 11 years ago, when so needed it. I KNOW that I would not be experiencing life in the tones of joy, magic, love, intimacy etc. that I do without it. The amazing thing is how natural it has been for me to identify voices and energies and tones in myself and then create a relationship with them.

And, in my experience, it is easy and natural for most people. I like to say that I have seen an eight year old identify parts of themselves and an 80 year old with the same level of ease….it is beyond age, beyond cultures and seems to be a universally human development that has been offered in psychology to some degree for 100 years. Seeing and using it as also a tool in spiritual awakening and enlightenment is the newer, cutting edge aspect, but then everything was ‘new’ and ‘cutting edge’ once!

Just this morning, I was meeting with a facilitant, feeling a new part of her emerging (that we call the Daemon or soul guardian), and once again, even all these years later after doing this work for years and serving others in it for years, I was struck anew by the absolute magic of it as she got to feel something in herself that she had NEVER known was there yet it was so TRUE to who she is at the same time. The access to your inner world, both in the heart and soul domains, that you get is so immediate and effective..without drugs, without hypnosis….ok, this brings up a lot of passion in me. I feel like it is THE missing piece in so many ways and once people get a taste of it, they usually feel the same way.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen are co-creators and facilitators of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.Β 

Premise 3: Going Beyond The Body-Mind Reality

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By Raphael Awen

premisethree

Welcome aboard day three of the SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises tour.

We only have two days sailing behind us and already it feels like so much more. Jump right in though if this is your first day, you can complete the circuit when and if you want to anytime.

A sightseeing tour is a really good analogy for what we’re doing together in these 21 days.

SoulFullHeart is a way of life and I’m offering 21 scenic tour vistas seen through each of our premises allowing you to essentially window shop to see if this truly warrants any more of your time, attention, or money.

There’s no charge to take this tour, but to actually enter and experience the territories we’ll be looking at each day will undoubtedly cost you. If your heart is truly hungry and ready, the cost will be something joyous, even as it is also sorrowful at times. But, it’s only at the point of buying something from someone that the real transaction or exchange occurs. Don’t mistake browsing for buying. Choice and transaction in this way with the resource of your choosing is no different than in the material world.

So here’s the third SoulFullHeart premise called the Nature Of Reality Premise:

“SoulFullHeart invites you to be open to a different picture than the body-mind reality, which is that everything is made up of energy; time/space/money are illusionary; everything is sourced from Infinite Love; and our innate nature is both dual and nondual.”

This premise if we are able to open it out together today will be nothing short of mind blowing.

Like setting out on a whale watching tour, there is no guarantee of actually seeing any whales and many days a whale watching tour must settle for being a ‘whale looking’ tour. I honour that what we see together will be a combined effort of what you and I choose to see, intend to see and are ready to see. It’s a co-created reality.

However, we have something big in our favour. We’re going to be looking at the idea of consciousness expansion today, and to do that, we’ll need an expanding consciousness just to get in the door. Consciousness itself likes being taken in and noticed. It’s like feeling the whales under the boat reluctant to surface until they can sense your reverence, respect, and awe, but when they do, watch the splendour unfold.

In this way, we draw this out together. I’m not responsible alone to put on any show. We do it together if there’s enough trust and desire between us, as well as resonance with what is. I feel part of me rest as I say that, and it felt both important to say as well as a portent of things to come in the rest of this tour together.

Now that we’ve got our seats, let’s dig in.

This premise begins with an invitation and that’s important because we are all grounded in a current way of seeing the world. The invitation is to look at another way of seeing the world, but of course, we can only do that through the lens we have. We can’t shatter this current lens in order to pop on a new one, and nor should we, we’d blow all of our circuits. It’s an invitation to see as much as you can and to then trust that what you were able to see was perfect, and that you were changed just by the act of truly looking. It’s an ongoing and never ending process because we actually live in an infinite reality picture.

Let’s talk now about the body-mind reality. ‘Body-mind’ is, in the way I’m referencing it today, a way of relating to life, that in turn ‘creates’ your world. Body-mind is seeing the world through the five sense reality only of sight, smell, touch, taste, and sound. ‘It’s real as long as I can sense it with the five senses’ is the powerful reality shaping mantra. Now, I know that isn’t your mantra or you wouldn’t be drawn here, but it is so deeply embedded in the world you were raised in, and the world you live in, every day, day in and day out. Body-mind reality has a powerful energetic pull that can be described as a gravitational pull that holds an order of things and an entire crystal clear cosmology out in front of you.

Money doesn’t grow on trees. It’s the results that count. Rome wasn’t built in a day. And on and on the sayings go. They form part of the outlying edges or borders of this perceived reality. If you are a more porous individual, you even add in some esoterics into the picture to make it bearable, but you have yet to actually ever escape the power of this matrix.

Body-mind in its essence is a wave form frequency of a specific bandwidth. As we are energy, as we’ll explore further today, we are totally susceptible to the frequencies we currently have dialed in on our receivers, and then we go on to rebroadcast those same frequencies contributing to the strength of the body-mind collective-consciousness reality. Now, to use another metaphor, it’s no longer us that is online doing the browsing, but rather the prevailing collective consciousness, or the computer itself that is doing the browsing. We are now essentially controlled around all the things that really matter with just enough free choice to keep the blinders in place. ‘Would you like fries with that?’ It’s now a false projected reality that we are co-creating because create is what we do. It’s what we are.

Everything around us is energy in motion, a frequency band manifesting as what we see and experience as matter. It isn’t real as we’ve understood five sense reality, and, at the same time, it is real on another plane, but it’s real reality can only be seen through a new lens that is the new plane.

Let’s look at money to help us grok this. Money isn’t real. It’s a thing we co-created collectively and is only real because of our agreement around it that we reinforce every day by our relationship and interaction with it. Money is actually nothing more than a means of exchanging value, or energy, or ultimately love. But it seems so crazy real! My focus on money, my need for money, my future money, my lack of money, and on and on. ‘I must secure the money, and then I will consider what other things I want in life’ is the energy that holds so many people. Money in this way is possibly the most powerful prison-forming matrix ‘thing’ that holds us in its clutches all of our days. And it’s nothing but energy!

Money is energy. I am energy. You are energy. Energy always flows. All the things you like and don’t like about your life are energy flows. The computer you are looking at and the chair you are sitting on are nothing more than energy manifesting in a specific form true as ever to the frequency they broadcast at.

Money as real from within the five sense reality is an illusionary reality. If you want to break the powerful hold money has upon your life, you must recognize that it isn’t money itself, but rather how you see money, or more accurately, the lens with which you are looking at money, specifically the body-mind.

Time is also another powerful illusion. The ‘realities’ of past, present, and future are held together by our collective body-mind reality-creating relationship to time. How cool would it be to flip the table here and instead see that time itself is the illusion and we get to use that illusion of time to our benefit. Healing anyone?

Space is another one. As energy, we are essentially living in a holographic projection that energy is creating giving us the magical illusion of space. It’s like going to the movies, except you ARE the movie.

If you’re like me, you are feeling really itchy about now. You can smell something big, but you can’t grasp as much of it as you want to. These are things to be lived into. The conditioned world doesn’t give way in a moment…..we instead live our way in a discovery process, that again, has no ending or destination, just like the Isness from where we come.

Here the saying ‘It’s not the destination that counts, but the journey’ needs to be revised to something like ‘ultimately, there is nothing but the journey, forget any destination other than simply being on the journey.’

This so resonates with us all, every last one of us, every last expression of energy ALL being God. Yes, including evil. It’s all Infinite Love out seeking to know itself in an infinitely unknowable reality.

All is Infinite Love expressing as infinite possibility, and nothing else matters.

Now, we see how we are both, like God, rooted in both duality and non-duality. We are playing with the duality in things like more or less money, things we prefer and don’t prefer, health is better than sickness, etc., all as a dance of Infinite Love energy that wants to come to know itself in all of its infinitely possible expressions.

When I feel all of this, my sense of the distance I’ve covered in my growth or my healing, though important to a part of me who still needs and relates to some form of measurement, gives way to the silliness of trying to measure anything in an infinite picture. 1/2 of infinity is still infinite.

And that is why I can resonate and be nourished with someone who is simply on the same path, regardless of their progress on the path. It’s sharing the same infinite path, me where all progress is immeasurable. The path affords us a processing and transactional ground for our relationship. Outside of the path, however, our frequencies have nothing but static. I can and do love the person not on my path, but I don’t attempt to transact very far with that person.

That’s already true for every relationship you and I currently have. It’s the resonant frequency band that literally holds it together.
Change the frequency and you change everything.

Okay, that’s enough for today, isn’t it? Talking about infinity can go on forever.

I want to close today by welcoming your inquiry into how The SoulFullHeart Way of Life healing process and I can serve your healing process. If you are a man, I would so love to be in an energy exchange with you providing we both resonate with each other. And if you are a woman, my beloved Jelelle would love to connect with you around beginning the process. Check out our sessions page for more info, and let’s simply get on Skype together to talk about it. Tell me what’s real for you.

I also welcome and deeply take to heart any donation you feel to give in support of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. You can find our donate button on our home page at soulfullheartwayoflife.com. Nothing gets my attention quite like an email from PayPal, saying ‘You’ve got money.’ πŸ™‚

Until tomorrow and day 4, be well in your unfolding journey. And remember, there is nothing to count, there is only journey.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.Β