Shades drawn. That is what it has felt like for a part of me the past week or so. A lot of preparing and doing during this timeline shift. It is an arrival of something longed for yet something difficult to let in. A part of me choking on goodness, love, and joy. The fear of losing this Garden of Eden, this Paradise once again. So the fear projects. It searches for what could happen to be denied and rejected. This creates its own loop and illuminates another place in my soul to explore. To invite into a relationship with myself and Love. But it does struggle to let that in. To trust it all.
As each of us takes on this journey of deep soul healing, challenges come right at the point of actually getting what you have always wanted. This is where, for some of us, the value of our Being comes into full view. It is a subtle consciousness that can take down all that has been strived for and desired. The collapse of a relationship, the rejection of a soul gift, or the judgment of our most vulnerable intentions. Our worth, our power, our deepest treasures are tender things that are fiercely guarded and protected, even to the point of not having them at all.
So it is this time when we go into the recess of our deepest fears and regrets to find that subtle consciousness within and connect. Listen. Hold. Sometimes you go off radar to the outside in order to catch the nuances of this energy. But it is important to not disappear, as easy as that can be at times. I have had to do that with this aspect of me. It is used to being in hiding. In the shadow. And being so close to my inner treasure, it has been very protective and guarded. All for very good reasons that I hold with compassion.
This is part of my healing. My growth. My own self-love realization that I am a gift to myself and the world. That I have edges, shadows, and fears. But the most important thing for these parts of me to feel is that they are not alone, nor forsaken. But rather whole and forgiven.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
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