Healing The Suppressed Inner Feminine

By Raphael Awen

Choosing to live out a present timeline with a suppressed inner feminine in remorse for another timeline when you suppressed the feminine externally doesn’t really work to bring healing and reconciliation. They are both still in resistance to the feminine.

Realizing that all we really wanted was love and deep heart and home security, but that we went about it in a twisted way is the beginning of deeply finding what was really underneath the harm we created; the frantic search for love.

Where is love’s search wanting to take you now?

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

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The Divine Wants To feel Through You What It Couldn’t Feel Without You

By Raphael Awen

Prior to your individuation and soul birth out of the Divine, there wasn’t a you here in the way that you know and experience you today.

The you that existed then was the one being of infinite love. What this you lacked however was an other to be in relationship with. This you also lacked the ability to know any kind of lack, as it was total infinite abundance in its essence. It had a lack, but it couldn’t know and feel that lack. This you also couldn’t actually know and feel the superabundance that it was as it simply was it. It couldn’t have a relationship with the abundance that it was.

This you wanted and then decided to duplicate itself in soul birth expression many other beings to be in relationship with, and to know and experience a relationship with this superabundance.

What your present you holds however is a fear of losing this individuated soul birth expression, of being swallowed back up into oneness and returning to the kind of lack it once knew in superabundance.

Problem is though that the Divine is on a mission through you and wants to know and feel all these fears – the fear of having nothing but abundance, as well as the fear of being cut off and separated from abundance, or love.

What creates stasis or movement in your life is all hinged upon your willingness to feel. The Divine wants and needs to feel through you what it couldn’t feel without you.

The Divine never intended for you to hover in a suffering pattern of anxiety, but rather to move through a kind of suffering; the kind that any mama knows who has given birth. Ultimately, the Divine is assured that no one and no thing will be left behind in this full reconciliation to love; hence its ability to undertake this mission involving suffering.

Where your power is in all of this, to suffer or not suffer, is in your willingness to feel what is coming up for you and parts of you in this journey.

What are you and parts of feeling in response to the circumstances of your life as you know it today? What traumas are undigested in you asking to be felt?

Feeling what there is to feel is what moves you profoundly into your next pieces of your deepest heart and soul evolution.

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

The Journey Through Smallness To Return To Bigness

by Raphael Awen

Our garden variety anxieties and fears about running out of money, or losing vitality in our bodies, or losing connection with a loved one, are all testament to a much greater loss that occurred for us.

Embedded in our very DNA is a subconscious remembrance that we were expelled out of the garden of oneness, fractured and fractaled out of the Divine, seemingly sentenced to pay homage now to the taskmaster of the knowledge of the duality of good and evil….judgment of self and others now reigning where love once fully danced and expressed.

This fracturing from one into parts is also very apparent in our psyche as the Inner Child and Inner Teenager and Inner Protector are all evidence of this trauma of separation, as they await our awareness to reach out to them.

The really good news however is that embedded in this trauma is the key to not only our full remembrance, as magical as that alone would be, but also to an expansion beyond words or imagination, that we are invited to go find out what it is, living our way into a new garden of Golden Earth, and then integrating that with life in this dimension.

As you explore the traumas held by these parts of you and take their feelings into your heart, you unlock this full remembrance AND this glorious expansion beyond the former glory of what was, and beyond what was given up to the cycle of death and rebirth, into this expanding glory of what and what you really are.

Who are you? You don’t really know, and you can’t know until you do, and then too, as you come into more knowing, you must again surrender to the infinity of the Divine expressing through you, ever fathoming more and more and more.

You are this big! Are you ready to move out of the phase of your necessary smallness exploration?

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Following The Lighthouse Of Our Longing

by Raphael Awen

Our deepest longings that feel the most impossible are actually deep messages from our hearts and souls to our more conscious selves, that we are invited to feel.

We are not guaranteed the fulfillment of the outward picture of those exact longings, but rather the things those longings represent. We are guaranteed that the longing itself leads us into something much deeper from beyond the veil of forgetfulness regarding our truer essence and changes us in the process.

This is actually a frightful guarantee to parts of us. We cannot own and pursue the longing without being irreversibly changed.

Following this lighthouse of our longing, that carries the unexplainable homing skills of a pigeon, the longing and desire shifts and changes as we reposition ourselves in relationship to it, leading us to our true heart home.

The experience of the initial steps leads to the next ones. We are afforded exercise of the heart muscles that will be needed for the next steps. The first steps are just as magical as the later ones as each step brings the joy of coming into more and more of our infinite essence.

Falling in deeper and deeper love with our many varied selves, we overflow with true love for all beings and all life.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

The Grail Pursuit Of Soul Tribe

by Raphael Awen

The desire to find and be a part of Soul Tribe feels like it is increasing exponentially for many of us in the times we are moving through. 

It’s a feeling for me that has always been there in my life. At times, it has expressed in really applying myself to the tribe at hand, be it my birth family, my current circle of friends, my church family, a spiritual group, etc. What I found for myself personally was that the deeper I pressed into the family at hand, the sooner I found myself uncomfortably at the exit door to the relationship. While the exit door was usually an exit of my own choosing, as I was always welcome to drop what I was advocating for and needing, stop rocking the boat, and instead settle in for the life-long haul, I seemingly couldn’t stop myself from moving on.

Something has always felt at stake. Something has always felt that I needed to choose, to pursue, to desire, and to need. Something has always also felt that I wanted to be needed, to be chosen, to be desired, and to be needed. What has changed is the frequency bandwidth that I am broadcasting at in all of that wanting and needing. This then, in turn, led to natural moving on points, that I was being invited to step into.

Some people work hard to quell these feelings, and though there have been times that a part of me could envy living that way too, I keep coming back to a ‘search for the holy grail’ kind of living, and to do that with Soul Tribe.

My Soul Tribe is about the wanting, the needing, the desiring, the rocking the boat when the boat is needing to be rocked or even capsized. It is about the entering and the leaving. It is about completing one context of life so to be able and energized to enter the next context of life. It is about the endless curiosity expansion into the unknown. 

My Soul Tribe is about feeling all the losses along the way, to mourn them, to grieve them, to allow the next phase of Soul Tribe to arise and overflow into my life as I currently know it. 

My Soul Tribe is about feeling my truth resonate inside the tribe, where even a natural and healthy ‘conformity for love’ can breathe that isn’t a codependent grasping for love. I get to conform when I want to and need to. I also get to be uniquely different when I want to and need to. I get to do it all and be it all inside of community. I get to need and want love. I get to be loved. I get to feel all the parts of me who are in different stages of their own relationship to love and community. 

What is your Soul Tribe about? Are you in a ‘lone-wolf’ between phase that is preparing the courage to pursue again? Are their past tribe wounds that are wanting to be felt by you? Are there parts of you who refuse to ever risk again, while at the same time, other parts of you aching for real resonant heart and soul frequency community? 

SoulFullHeart is one such tribe. I belong to it and co-lead it. Session space is offered as the clear doorway into it. If it calls to you, I’d so love to host your inquiry further, all the way to the deeper and richer unknown that your soul can’t resist pursuing. 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Love’s Push Pull

By Raphael Awen

Love is the thing we crave the most, but strangely, it is also the thing we resist the most.

How in the world could both of these be true at the same time?

I feel it has to do with how we are love in search of itself.

If we set out to define what we are, we soon see the inadequacy of a biological description of what we are or any kind of mental description, and we are left parked at the door of reverence.

Awe and wonder opens us out to seeing and feeling the love that is at core of the universe (or multiverse, or whatever other word you currently use to attempt to describe the largest container that we all swim in).

Love itself set out to know itself, through the challenge of opening itself out to what it isn’t. Love set out to grow beyond the fullness of bliss that it already was, admitting that an emptiness was beginning to invade the fullness of itself.

In other words, it simply came to want more. It grew dissatisfied.

If this is true, then the very lives we are living today, (rather than the one you imagine living after attaining some grand spiritual attainment) are already deeply grounded in love’s holding and expansion. Everything in your life that feels like not-love is an opportunity for love to come to know itself inside of circumstance. Prior to your and my circumstances, love had no mirror like circumstance in which to see or know itself, as it was all there was.

Then if this is true, then how do we ground this into our waking reality, our livelihood, our relationships, our anxieties, our dreams?

I believe the most effective way to act on this is to ‘real’-ize it into everyday life, to enculturate it into your life the same way your present reality came to be enculturated in you. What it feels like to be you today came to you relationally. It came to you through the dynamic of relationship exchange. It involved a you and an other. If you had a somewhat normal development, at around 2 years of age, you began to feel yourself as an other, leaving the oneness bliss oroboros of being one with your mother. From then on, you became conditioned as a distinct and separate you through the relational (you to other) experiences that you have had since then.

Very fortunately for each of us is the truth that what we are made up of is in fact many separate and distinct others. Our personality is in fact more of a family presentation than it is what we think of as a single person.

This now gets to the core of our question at hand – how could we both crave love and resist love at the same time?

As a soul being, that existed prior to our human inhabitation and expression, we set out to know love. We did that by entering a human domain where the matrix perception reality is one of the scarcity of love. Our human experience is well versed in learning how to survive in love’s lack, how to minimize our needs and function on as little as possible. But what we are and where we came from is all about the superabundance of love. We know this in every cell of our being, regardless of the poverty that may be at play in our life’s dramas.

We are living two stories at the same time. The plot is one where everything has been put at stake for the re-realization of love’s fullness. Love risked everything it had when it put its greedy wager out on you, and it won’t be satisfied until you are basked in love’s utter immersion and return to the oneness from whence you came.

You get to be an active facilitator of this process when you reach out relationally to these parts of you that make up what you’ve called you. You get to be this beacon of love’s superabundance to these aspects of your being that we’re hoodwinked into the scarcity side of the matrix equation. The lack was necessary until now. Now, you are invited to shift into part two of your life’s story.

Let love be felt and experienced by every part of you in a sacred relational reparenting process, where every bruised leg and skinned knee is an opportunity to discover what real love is.

When you become reconvinced of the superabundant love world, the scarcity world takes leave of your consciousness and takes leave of your ongoing life story.

You are the story of love waiting to be told and retold for the millennia to come.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Fear Is A Form Of Reverence

By Raphael Awen

Fear is a form of reverence.

That which we fear, we revere.

We fear and revere things that we perceive as bigger than us. We fear god, circumstances, illness, etc. as things or beings that are bigger than us and that we are thus subject to. I might want this, but god might want something different for me that I don’t want.

All of this is a product of making ourselves small.
What we really fear at a deep core level are not the things that we think we fear. What we really fear is our own bigness. Our bigness isn’t just big, it is infinitely big. Anything that we can’t define, refine or confine, we fear, and understandably so.

So we set out to manage ourselves. We manage life instead of letting in life. We see ourselves as subject to life, rather than the subjects of life. We choose a perception of a scarcity-based relationship to life because of the utter fear of falling prey to unlimited abundance.

It is actually way easier for parts of us to shut down our desire for more and just live with the dampened desire and dampened disappointment than it is to open ourselves full throttle to the level of desire and abundance that our being actually is. Here again is the deep core fear we run from.

How might we change this?

Because we live as conditioned beings, and we have conditioned ourselves to a lesser-reality which has become our ultimate-reality, then it follows that letting in new and truer reality will happen for us as we entertain and let in that new reality. We begin to become reconditioned to a new reality. Nothing happens without our consent and choice in our personal kingdoms and queendoms because we are the sovereign of our own domains.

There is still a deep place for surrender to the divine in all of this, it’s just that you can’t take yourself out of the divine equation. By that, I mean, you can’t externalize God and surrender to God. This is a form of keeping intact the small-you reality. You can’t separate yourself from divinity, try as you may.
Many will chafe at this idea of seeing themselves as god. How sacrilegious they exclaim. What we define as blasphemy is in service of the gods of our own creation. The gods we create are created out of our deepest fears that we haven’t yet felt.

Time and time again, life faces us with our infinite bigness, awaiting our surrender, our exploration, our reverence for all that is, and all that is in us, and though us, and to us….You are ‘divinity out divining’…. as you are now; as you are desiring to be; and as you will more and more come to terms with every day.

Feel your fears. They are one of the single truest things about you. So are your desires. Feel them too. Own it all. Let in the tears of having muffled both your real and deepest fears as well as your desires.

Let love collide with the reality you’ve conditioned yourself to.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

We Create Our Own Reality

By Raphael Awen

“We create our own reality.”

We’ve all heard it said. Many of us embraced it deeply. We tried to understand and use this knowledge to change our lives. But sadly, we’ve also despaired of trying to apply this truth to our benefit.

What went wrong? Why did a truth that promised so much end up embarrassing us with its own kind of disappointment? What is this truth itself didn’t lack, but our application of it is what left us wanting for something?

I believe what went wrong in our draw to this knowledge was our point of view from which we looked at it. We looked out from an already created point of view at this truth and then hastily set out to fix something in our life. What we missed in that process was feeling the feeling that was already alive in us that something was in need of fixing.

What if there isn’t actually anything in you that’s in need of fixing? What if that conviction comes from a previous created reality that you picked up along the way?

What if you are actually perfect as you are now, even in the midst of knowing there are things in your life that are painful and that you wish would change?

I believe what life is offering us is to feel this truth from a newly created point of view. In this point of view, you get to feel yourself as perfect as you are, loved as you are, loved as you are becoming, loved as you were.

The self-judgment at root of seeing ourselves as objects needing fixing is a painful reality that we have co-created in our collective and that then lives in us individually as our personal reality. An internalized part of us takes on this fixing and punishing role as its job in our lives as it has never known and felt these feelings of its own perfection. Given the scarcity that this part of us lives from, it is very understandable that it would set out to keep its role in our lives intact. This lack of self-love and self-acceptance can only then be the highest form of love we can offer to any other, capping the love we are.

Feel this part of you. Feel the confining space that it lives in. Feel the burden of the many ‘truths’ it subscribed to and eventually despaired from in its dedication and care of you and for you.

Allow a new relationship to ‘truth’ arise in you that isn’t about fixing anything. Begin a lifelong journey of seeing yourself through the eyes of the infinite love that you are now, just as you are.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Seeking The Payoff Of Being Felt

By Raphael Awen

Every impulse of energy moving through you and around you is an expression of something that simply wants to be felt.

What you are doing or not doing today; where you are going or not going, is all about an energy flow of choices that are seeking the payoff of being felt. This is also true for everyone around you.

It isn’t money that makes the world go round, but rather feeling. Money is only one of many different feeling containers.

We are learning that consciousness itself is what underlies all matter. In that we are also learning that what we previously called ‘inanimate objects’ are not only capable of feeling, but produce measurable feeling state reactions to changes of emotional energy.

Your heart, and your willingness to feel the reactions that are happening inside of you and all around you are the animation system that move you through life and onto your next places.

Are you craving a certain kind of change in your life? Being willing to feel that craving and what it’s deeply about is what allows it to flow into your life, rather than leaving you stuck in an unfulfilled craving.

Feeling is an exchange, a ‘from’ and a ‘to’. It happens in relationship, and in that, it doesn’t occur where only one exists. Relationship requires an other. When you are feeling yourself, you are showing up as this other to feel a part of yourself. As you feel yourself more and more in this way, your relationships with others shift in order to take on this same feeling quality.

This is also true of the Divine, whom we all are and are all subpersonas of. The Divine couldn’t know the flow of feeling were it not for the feeling flowing through you and your life circumstances.

Feel your next impulse that you might choose. What is wanting to be felt underneath that impulse? Are you going about on autopilot? What is the feeling payoff for a part of you to remain on autopilot? Maybe it’s a kind of not-feeling payoff. But being numb is also another feeling state that like all feeling states, actually wants to be felt. It needs to be felt for it to move onto what is beyond it.

No matter how challenging a set of life circumstances you face; no matter what admitted ‘wounds’ you may carry, there is something soooo fundamentally and profoundly right about you!

You are love out seeking to know and feel love. Love at its core wants to be felt. Love wants to reward you for your willingness to feel. Love wants to fill your cup.

You are love’s beloved.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

An Altered State Of Consciousness

By Raphael Awen

It would seem that the point of all spirituality, and even every religion has something big to do with altering our state of consciousness.

It may even be that most everything we do, and even the things we don’t want to do are all about the payoff of feeling different about ourselves somehow.

As sovereign freewill beings immersed in a world of choice, we are out to feel better about ourselves. We are seeking an altered state of being – whether in mind, body or heart.

If this isn’t an oversimplification of explaining human motivation, but instead a simple everyday truth; one that you don’t need to look any further than yourself to be convinced of, then just considering this is an alteration of your consciousness right now. It brings you into an altered state of mind, heart and awareness.

We all do what we want, when we want and how we want. No power can force us to do or be anything we don’t want to do or be. Even a choice between the lesser of two evils is about a choice of which would make us feel better about ourselves in any moment.

We want expansion. We want experience. We want love. That’s the energy that is at core of the universe that lives in every cell of our beings – the hunger for loves’ expression and experience. We are the theater that love wants to show itself in and on.

Love is the root alteration of any and all consciousness shifts.

Who’d have thought that this is the same bed we all share? Every religion, every spirituality, every culture, in every geography, the drug dealer and the clergyman, the banker and the baker, every last one of us. This common denominator is where our total and complete unity lives.

I am seeking an alteration of my consciousness today, and if you check in with me tomorrow, the same thing will be true. You may find me paying bills, sleeping, having sex or tying my shoes, but the energy of life that moves me is a continual desire to be caught up in reverence and wonder. I seek to be filled with awe.

I am meant for, intended for, designed for the experience of awe and wonder.

If this is true, then it begs the quest of the question about ‘how could we do that better, in any moment?’ The pat answer often comes to that question that this isn’t about doing, but rather about being. This in turn leaves us disappointed feeling that we are just aren’t there yet somehow, that there is some attainment of being that we haven’t reached yet, and if you do ever happen to stumble upon it, you’ll somehow know it when you get there.

What if you already fully are this being? What if all the power you’ll ever need is already inside of you? What if all the growth and discovery is only about experiencing what you already are?

If that’s true, then there is somethings you can do to experience the being that you already are. You can let yourself feel how every desire that lives in you is a search for an altered state of consciousness. You can feel how you share this profound commonality at the root of your being with all of life and consciousness. You can feel how the different beings that live inside of you and outside of you who want very different things on the surface, actually all want the same thing at core. Every internal and external conflict is about the search for expansion of consciousness.

I want, therefore I am.

Feel that. Get intimate with that. Feel and intimately get to know the parts of you who make up the subpersonality structure of your being.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.