Love’s Push Pull

By Raphael Awen

Love is the thing we crave the most, but strangely, it is also the thing we resist the most.

How in the world could both of these be true at the same time?

I feel it has to do with how we are love in search of itself.

If we set out to define what we are, we soon see the inadequacy of a biological description of what we are or any kind of mental description, and we are left parked at the door of reverence.

Awe and wonder opens us out to seeing and feeling the love that is at core of the universe (or multiverse, or whatever other word you currently use to attempt to describe the largest container that we all swim in).

Love itself set out to know itself, through the challenge of opening itself out to what it isn’t. Love set out to grow beyond the fullness of bliss that it already was, admitting that an emptiness was beginning to invade the fullness of itself.

In other words, it simply came to want more. It grew dissatisfied.

If this is true, then the very lives we are living today, (rather than the one you imagine living after attaining some grand spiritual attainment) are already deeply grounded in love’s holding and expansion. Everything in your life that feels like not-love is an opportunity for love to come to know itself inside of circumstance. Prior to your and my circumstances, love had no mirror like circumstance in which to see or know itself, as it was all there was.

Then if this is true, then how do we ground this into our waking reality, our livelihood, our relationships, our anxieties, our dreams?

I believe the most effective way to act on this is to ‘real’-ize it into everyday life, to enculturate it into your life the same way your present reality came to be enculturated in you. What it feels like to be you today came to you relationally. It came to you through the dynamic of relationship exchange. It involved a you and an other. If you had a somewhat normal development, at around 2 years of age, you began to feel yourself as an other, leaving the oneness bliss oroboros of being one with your mother. From then on, you became conditioned as a distinct and separate you through the relational (you to other) experiences that you have had since then.

Very fortunately for each of us is the truth that what we are made up of is in fact many separate and distinct others. Our personality is in fact more of a family presentation than it is what we think of as a single person.

This now gets to the core of our question at hand – how could we both crave love and resist love at the same time?

As a soul being, that existed prior to our human inhabitation and expression, we set out to know love. We did that by entering a human domain where the matrix perception reality is one of the scarcity of love. Our human experience is well versed in learning how to survive in love’s lack, how to minimize our needs and function on as little as possible. But what we are and where we came from is all about the superabundance of love. We know this in every cell of our being, regardless of the poverty that may be at play in our life’s dramas.

We are living two stories at the same time. The plot is one where everything has been put at stake for the re-realization of love’s fullness. Love risked everything it had when it put its greedy wager out on you, and it won’t be satisfied until you are basked in love’s utter immersion and return to the oneness from whence you came.

You get to be an active facilitator of this process when you reach out relationally to these parts of you that make up what you’ve called you. You get to be this beacon of love’s superabundance to these aspects of your being that we’re hoodwinked into the scarcity side of the matrix equation. The lack was necessary until now. Now, you are invited to shift into part two of your life’s story.

Let love be felt and experienced by every part of you in a sacred relational reparenting process, where every bruised leg and skinned knee is an opportunity to discover what real love is.

When you become reconvinced of the superabundant love world, the scarcity world takes leave of your consciousness and takes leave of your ongoing life story.

You are the story of love waiting to be told and retold for the millennia to come.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Advertisements

Fear Is A Form Of Reverence

By Raphael Awen

Fear is a form of reverence.

That which we fear, we revere.

We fear and revere things that we perceive as bigger than us. We fear god, circumstances, illness, etc. as things or beings that are bigger than us and that we are thus subject to. I might want this, but god might want something different for me that I don’t want.

All of this is a product of making ourselves small.
What we really fear at a deep core level are not the things that we think we fear. What we really fear is our own bigness. Our bigness isn’t just big, it is infinitely big. Anything that we can’t define, refine or confine, we fear, and understandably so.

So we set out to manage ourselves. We manage life instead of letting in life. We see ourselves as subject to life, rather than the subjects of life. We choose a perception of a scarcity-based relationship to life because of the utter fear of falling prey to unlimited abundance.

It is actually way easier for parts of us to shut down our desire for more and just live with the dampened desire and dampened disappointment than it is to open ourselves full throttle to the level of desire and abundance that our being actually is. Here again is the deep core fear we run from.

How might we change this?

Because we live as conditioned beings, and we have conditioned ourselves to a lesser-reality which has become our ultimate-reality, then it follows that letting in new and truer reality will happen for us as we entertain and let in that new reality. We begin to become reconditioned to a new reality. Nothing happens without our consent and choice in our personal kingdoms and queendoms because we are the sovereign of our own domains.

There is still a deep place for surrender to the divine in all of this, it’s just that you can’t take yourself out of the divine equation. By that, I mean, you can’t externalize God and surrender to God. This is a form of keeping intact the small-you reality. You can’t separate yourself from divinity, try as you may.
Many will chafe at this idea of seeing themselves as god. How sacrilegious they exclaim. What we define as blasphemy is in service of the gods of our own creation. The gods we create are created out of our deepest fears that we haven’t yet felt.

Time and time again, life faces us with our infinite bigness, awaiting our surrender, our exploration, our reverence for all that is, and all that is in us, and though us, and to us….You are ‘divinity out divining’…. as you are now; as you are desiring to be; and as you will more and more come to terms with every day.

Feel your fears. They are one of the single truest things about you. So are your desires. Feel them too. Own it all. Let in the tears of having muffled both your real and deepest fears as well as your desires.

Let love collide with the reality you’ve conditioned yourself to.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

We Create Our Own Reality

By Raphael Awen

“We create our own reality.”

We’ve all heard it said. Many of us embraced it deeply. We tried to understand and use this knowledge to change our lives. But sadly, we’ve also despaired of trying to apply this truth to our benefit.

What went wrong? Why did a truth that promised so much end up embarrassing us with its own kind of disappointment? What is this truth itself didn’t lack, but our application of it is what left us wanting for something?

I believe what went wrong in our draw to this knowledge was our point of view from which we looked at it. We looked out from an already created point of view at this truth and then hastily set out to fix something in our life. What we missed in that process was feeling the feeling that was already alive in us that something was in need of fixing.

What if there isn’t actually anything in you that’s in need of fixing? What if that conviction comes from a previous created reality that you picked up along the way?

What if you are actually perfect as you are now, even in the midst of knowing there are things in your life that are painful and that you wish would change?

I believe what life is offering us is to feel this truth from a newly created point of view. In this point of view, you get to feel yourself as perfect as you are, loved as you are, loved as you are becoming, loved as you were.

The self-judgment at root of seeing ourselves as objects needing fixing is a painful reality that we have co-created in our collective and that then lives in us individually as our personal reality. An internalized part of us takes on this fixing and punishing role as its job in our lives as it has never known and felt these feelings of its own perfection. Given the scarcity that this part of us lives from, it is very understandable that it would set out to keep its role in our lives intact. This lack of self-love and self-acceptance can only then be the highest form of love we can offer to any other, capping the love we are.

Feel this part of you. Feel the confining space that it lives in. Feel the burden of the many ‘truths’ it subscribed to and eventually despaired from in its dedication and care of you and for you.

Allow a new relationship to ‘truth’ arise in you that isn’t about fixing anything. Begin a lifelong journey of seeing yourself through the eyes of the infinite love that you are now, just as you are.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Seeking The Payoff Of Being Felt

By Raphael Awen

Every impulse of energy moving through you and around you is an expression of something that simply wants to be felt.

What you are doing or not doing today; where you are going or not going, is all about an energy flow of choices that are seeking the payoff of being felt. This is also true for everyone around you.

It isn’t money that makes the world go round, but rather feeling. Money is only one of many different feeling containers.

We are learning that consciousness itself is what underlies all matter. In that we are also learning that what we previously called ‘inanimate objects’ are not only capable of feeling, but produce measurable feeling state reactions to changes of emotional energy.

Your heart, and your willingness to feel the reactions that are happening inside of you and all around you are the animation system that move you through life and onto your next places.

Are you craving a certain kind of change in your life? Being willing to feel that craving and what it’s deeply about is what allows it to flow into your life, rather than leaving you stuck in an unfulfilled craving.

Feeling is an exchange, a ‘from’ and a ‘to’. It happens in relationship, and in that, it doesn’t occur where only one exists. Relationship requires an other. When you are feeling yourself, you are showing up as this other to feel a part of yourself. As you feel yourself more and more in this way, your relationships with others shift in order to take on this same feeling quality.

This is also true of the Divine, whom we all are and are all subpersonas of. The Divine couldn’t know the flow of feeling were it not for the feeling flowing through you and your life circumstances.

Feel your next impulse that you might choose. What is wanting to be felt underneath that impulse? Are you going about on autopilot? What is the feeling payoff for a part of you to remain on autopilot? Maybe it’s a kind of not-feeling payoff. But being numb is also another feeling state that like all feeling states, actually wants to be felt. It needs to be felt for it to move onto what is beyond it.

No matter how challenging a set of life circumstances you face; no matter what admitted ‘wounds’ you may carry, there is something soooo fundamentally and profoundly right about you!

You are love out seeking to know and feel love. Love at its core wants to be felt. Love wants to reward you for your willingness to feel. Love wants to fill your cup.

You are love’s beloved.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

An Altered State Of Consciousness

By Raphael Awen

It would seem that the point of all spirituality, and even every religion has something big to do with altering our state of consciousness.

It may even be that most everything we do, and even the things we don’t want to do are all about the payoff of feeling different about ourselves somehow.

As sovereign freewill beings immersed in a world of choice, we are out to feel better about ourselves. We are seeking an altered state of being – whether in mind, body or heart.

If this isn’t an oversimplification of explaining human motivation, but instead a simple everyday truth; one that you don’t need to look any further than yourself to be convinced of, then just considering this is an alteration of your consciousness right now. It brings you into an altered state of mind, heart and awareness.

We all do what we want, when we want and how we want. No power can force us to do or be anything we don’t want to do or be. Even a choice between the lesser of two evils is about a choice of which would make us feel better about ourselves in any moment.

We want expansion. We want experience. We want love. That’s the energy that is at core of the universe that lives in every cell of our beings – the hunger for loves’ expression and experience. We are the theater that love wants to show itself in and on.

Love is the root alteration of any and all consciousness shifts.

Who’d have thought that this is the same bed we all share? Every religion, every spirituality, every culture, in every geography, the drug dealer and the clergyman, the banker and the baker, every last one of us. This common denominator is where our total and complete unity lives.

I am seeking an alteration of my consciousness today, and if you check in with me tomorrow, the same thing will be true. You may find me paying bills, sleeping, having sex or tying my shoes, but the energy of life that moves me is a continual desire to be caught up in reverence and wonder. I seek to be filled with awe.

I am meant for, intended for, designed for the experience of awe and wonder.

If this is true, then it begs the quest of the question about ‘how could we do that better, in any moment?’ The pat answer often comes to that question that this isn’t about doing, but rather about being. This in turn leaves us disappointed feeling that we are just aren’t there yet somehow, that there is some attainment of being that we haven’t reached yet, and if you do ever happen to stumble upon it, you’ll somehow know it when you get there.

What if you already fully are this being? What if all the power you’ll ever need is already inside of you? What if all the growth and discovery is only about experiencing what you already are?

If that’s true, then there is somethings you can do to experience the being that you already are. You can let yourself feel how every desire that lives in you is a search for an altered state of consciousness. You can feel how you share this profound commonality at the root of your being with all of life and consciousness. You can feel how the different beings that live inside of you and outside of you who want very different things on the surface, actually all want the same thing at core. Every internal and external conflict is about the search for expansion of consciousness.

I want, therefore I am.

Feel that. Get intimate with that. Feel and intimately get to know the parts of you who make up the subpersonality structure of your being.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Meet Your Inner Protector – A Guided Meditation With Raphael Awen

By Raphael Awen

Every day, we find people getting magically introduced to their Inner Protector and beginning a journey of self discovery and awakening to their emotional body, that opens out connection to the Inner Child, Galactic Awakening and Multidimensionality. I invite you to enjoy this short guided meditation below to get introduced to your Inner Protector.

From the video description:
“Your Inner Protector is your most loyal guard, who watches over your other parts and protects your ‘inner castle’ or essence. Conscious connection with this part/subpersonality of yourself allows for more openness to make life changes, letting in of ascension/awakening energies, opening of your heart, and access to other parts of you who need you!

In this video, SoulFullHeart Teacher and Facilitator Raphael Awen leads you in a guided meditation to meet your Inner Protector and begin this precious connection. This video is filmed in a regional park in New Lemuria Victoria, BC, Canada. Enjoy the tree codes and getting the opportunity to meet this important part of yourself!”

If I can be of further assistance, I’d love to hear from you. More on sessions here at http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Our Fear Of Life

By Raphael Awen

Our greatest fear isn’t about our death, but rather about our infinitude.

Death is simply another birth into the great unknown of our never ending being and the universe it expresses in. To accept that is to be in reverence, awe and wonder, which is to really live.

To accept that is to accept your struggle with that. You don’t really ‘get’ that and neither do I.

Death and life are a great mystery that the universe itself and the divine itself is still busy exploring and it is exploring it through you and me.

Death and life are inseparable from each other, as every moment, every relationship, every being that expresses, expresses as a surrender to this mystery of death and rebirth.

Living our lives in avoidance of death or repulsion to death is to reject life itself, for life isn’t possible without death. Coming to terms with our physical death can help us come to terms with the many deaths of our lives, which in turn is the only thing that can offer us a healthy entry into our next stage and place in life.

You must leave in order to enter. We get to have life because we are willing to let it go. What makes any moment truly alive is to feel that moment’s life and its death in the same space. I enter it with a reverence that I must in turn leave it and its imprint on me as well as what I imprinted it with. Every thing and every relationship I enter, I must ultimately leave.

Every Joy contains a sorrow. Realizing this is key to navigating both, and key to leaving behind a flatlined existence where both our joys and sorrows are muted, in favor of a more managed/controlled reality, that is void of deeply truly living.

If life is anything, it is reverence. To revere something is to fear it. To truly fear something is to be in awe of it, to respect it on a deep heart and soul level, to fear losing it. What we really fear losing is not our lives, but losing the real connection with life within our life. Regaining that is about accepting all of our reality, even if we fall so short of understanding it. It’s about feeling it, not ‘knowing’ it in any mental or philosophical sense.

Finding and feeling the part(s) of you who hold your relationship to death and rebirth is the single deepest thing you can do to embrace growth, movement and change in your life. Parts of you are stuck in their relationship to death, and can only move from the fear that grips them if and when they are afforded a digestion of their fears.

I wrote the above article a year ago today, and it feels timely again as we have just surrendered to a big death and rebirth experience in choosing to return to Canada and feel and face all the questions about the outcome. In our first three weeks here, we have already experienced so much more than we had quite prepared for in terms of goodness and synchronicity/support from the universe. There is a digestion now about how we collectively not only fear negative outcomes, but how we actually fear deeply positive outcomes as they set the bar higher and create a whole new vibration of reality to acclimate to. More letting go, in order to let in.

I offer space holding for individuals that want to explore the deeper terrains of their relationship to life and adventure; their relationship to their undigested and unfelt traumas and how those affect their lives now. More can be found here at our sessions page: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

The picture below is from a recent walk close to our new home where I felt the trees holding space of welcome – a choir of love and embrace – all loaded with trust and a yin-like surrender to having all of their needs met, grounded in Gaia, and not being afraid of death and rebirth.

Much love,

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.