Supermoon’s Invitation: “Just Feel”

By Raphael Awen

The best advice I can find for myself in navigating these Supermoon energies is ‘just feel’.

My whole life journey can be seen from a perspective of seeing what I might call my ‘pre-feeling’ era, my ‘feeling’ era of all that was backed up and denied, and then to now, my ‘living in feeling’ era. Sometimes, those patterns repeat themselves in a current week or even a day, so it’s not like it’s a watertight completion of any phase, but I can say, for me, that my life is very different having moved through these phases of orientation to life.

I recall sharing with a trusted space holder during my intense phase of deep feeling about an attraction that I was feeling to a woman and what feelings were being pushed up because of it. He took all I shared into his heart and replied ‘just feel it’. That advice rings in my heart today as the most valued words he ever shared with me. It might sound a bit diminutive at first, but really, the opposite is true. Oftentimes, we mentalize a mountain of possible scenarios, reactions, even talking about feelings, while we are still on our way to actually feeling that something.

I can say from where I live and breathe today, that I’ve given my whole life to wanting to really feel all there is to feel. Leaving the once treasured shores of my pre-feeling era, I found like Job said in the Bible, ‘that which I greatly feared has come upon me’ meaning that, there was good reason behind my era of not-feeling. To open myself to feeling was to tear down my constructed life as I knew it, subjecting myself to all manner of unpredictable change. I found however that the waves were self-lovingly manageable, that somehow feeling had its own super intelligence built in to hold all chaos that was pushed up in the process, even while in the middle of any meltdowns. It actually finally felt really good to feel, even if the feeling was a kind of hell.

The Supermoons offer an amped up portal to our feelings. If someone is in a pretty much watertight place of not-feeling, they’ll drift through the phase without much awareness, and just see it as random circumstance – ‘good days, bad days, we all have ‘em’ kind of picture. For those who’ve let go of their own personal not-feeling orientation to life, then these energies push up a what can feel like a ‘shit-ton of shit to feel’ as a reactive part of us might put it, feeling some victimized by the waves, possibly resenting the loss of the good old days where life just was, without all this chaos of feeling.

As I earned my stripes, bumps, and bruises in this lifestyle choice of feeling first, I found that the advice to just feel, can be applied to any and every reaction along the way. I found I could feel the part of me in mourning for the loss of what it felt were better less conscious days, if that’s what came up to feel. I found I could feel and be conscious of any wave of anxiety or depression moving through any part of me and feel what was underneath it. I can feel today the part of me asking questions about what this Supermoon of energy has yet to open me out to.

Whether it’s intense body pain reactions, huge rumbles in relationships, career careening out of control, or anything else it feels like the Supermoon is throwing at you, I believe we are simply and foremostly being asked to just feel.

‘Just feel’ will take us where we need to go with all the self loving debriefings and digestions right on time.

Jelelle Awen and I will be live streaming today at 1:11 pm – Vancouver City Time (PDT) on our SoulFullheart page: https://www.facebook.com/soulfullheartwayoflife/

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

Photo courtesy of Jeffrey Eisen on Unsplash

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

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Valentine To My Beloved Jelelle

Dearly beloved Jelelle,

are you listening?

I love it when you are!

The last ten years being together with you in earth time have been the greatest of not only this life time, but soo many more. What a gift to ‘go all in’ with the abandon, desire and risk taking that we have.

The mirror of our relationship continues to call, to course correct, and to fill the depths of my being.

Thank you for continuing to go into the unknown, the magic and the love together with me.

I love you and wish this for every person I meet.

It’s possible and we have the proof!

Happy Valentine’s Day.

I love you!

💚 Raphael ❤️

(Image by Bradley Feller from Unsplash)

Arising Anew From Grief And Remorse

By Raphael Awen

From the still place of having felt your grief and your remorse, incubates an unmistakable new energy of desire.

Arising in its own time, and in its own way, desire and appetite for an entirely new way of being comes.

Though you have been known by a name and a story, so much of that name and story is complete, and a new story and new name arises. You are in the nursery being looked at now through the big windows by many guides and beings who wish to support you and hold you into your next phase of your sacred journey.

This sacred new beginning, like all beginnings is encoded with its completion, which is what makes way for deep reverence for the present moment.

With this reverence in place, and the feelings of remorse and grief having had their full place, you cannot but move with grace and reverence, with deep support and guidance into the next phase of your sacred and most purposeful journey.

These are the words and feeling space that come to me as I had opportunity recently to be a big part of a Metasoul of mine in process with his grief and remorse for the suppression of feminine.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Healing The Suppressed Inner Feminine

By Raphael Awen

Choosing to live out a present timeline with a suppressed inner feminine in remorse for another timeline when you suppressed the feminine externally doesn’t really work to bring healing and reconciliation. They are both still in resistance to the feminine.

Realizing that all we really wanted was love and deep heart and home security, but that we went about it in a twisted way is the beginning of deeply finding what was really underneath the harm we created; the frantic search for love.

Where is love’s search wanting to take you now?

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

The Divine Wants To feel Through You What It Couldn’t Feel Without You

By Raphael Awen

Prior to your individuation and soul birth out of the Divine, there wasn’t a you here in the way that you know and experience you today.

The you that existed then was the one being of infinite love. What this you lacked however was an other to be in relationship with. This you also lacked the ability to know any kind of lack, as it was total infinite abundance in its essence. It had a lack, but it couldn’t know and feel that lack. This you also couldn’t actually know and feel the superabundance that it was as it simply was it. It couldn’t have a relationship with the abundance that it was.

This you wanted and then decided to duplicate itself in soul birth expression many other beings to be in relationship with, and to know and experience a relationship with this superabundance.

What your present you holds however is a fear of losing this individuated soul birth expression, of being swallowed back up into oneness and returning to the kind of lack it once knew in superabundance.

Problem is though that the Divine is on a mission through you and wants to know and feel all these fears – the fear of having nothing but abundance, as well as the fear of being cut off and separated from abundance, or love.

What creates stasis or movement in your life is all hinged upon your willingness to feel. The Divine wants and needs to feel through you what it couldn’t feel without you.

The Divine never intended for you to hover in a suffering pattern of anxiety, but rather to move through a kind of suffering; the kind that any mama knows who has given birth. Ultimately, the Divine is assured that no one and no thing will be left behind in this full reconciliation to love; hence its ability to undertake this mission involving suffering.

Where your power is in all of this, to suffer or not suffer, is in your willingness to feel what is coming up for you and parts of you in this journey.

What are you and parts of feeling in response to the circumstances of your life as you know it today? What traumas are undigested in you asking to be felt?

Feeling what there is to feel is what moves you profoundly into your next pieces of your deepest heart and soul evolution.

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

The Journey Through Smallness To Return To Bigness

by Raphael Awen

Our garden variety anxieties and fears about running out of money, or losing vitality in our bodies, or losing connection with a loved one, are all testament to a much greater loss that occurred for us.

Embedded in our very DNA is a subconscious remembrance that we were expelled out of the garden of oneness, fractured and fractaled out of the Divine, seemingly sentenced to pay homage now to the taskmaster of the knowledge of the duality of good and evil….judgment of self and others now reigning where love once fully danced and expressed.

This fracturing from one into parts is also very apparent in our psyche as the Inner Child and Inner Teenager and Inner Protector are all evidence of this trauma of separation, as they await our awareness to reach out to them.

The really good news however is that embedded in this trauma is the key to not only our full remembrance, as magical as that alone would be, but also to an expansion beyond words or imagination, that we are invited to go find out what it is, living our way into a new garden of Golden Earth, and then integrating that with life in this dimension.

As you explore the traumas held by these parts of you and take their feelings into your heart, you unlock this full remembrance AND this glorious expansion beyond the former glory of what was, and beyond what was given up to the cycle of death and rebirth, into this expanding glory of what and what you really are.

Who are you? You don’t really know, and you can’t know until you do, and then too, as you come into more knowing, you must again surrender to the infinity of the Divine expressing through you, ever fathoming more and more and more.

You are this big! Are you ready to move out of the phase of your necessary smallness exploration?

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Following The Lighthouse Of Our Longing

by Raphael Awen

Our deepest longings that feel the most impossible are actually deep messages from our hearts and souls to our more conscious selves, that we are invited to feel.

We are not guaranteed the fulfillment of the outward picture of those exact longings, but rather the things those longings represent. We are guaranteed that the longing itself leads us into something much deeper from beyond the veil of forgetfulness regarding our truer essence and changes us in the process.

This is actually a frightful guarantee to parts of us. We cannot own and pursue the longing without being irreversibly changed.

Following this lighthouse of our longing, that carries the unexplainable homing skills of a pigeon, the longing and desire shifts and changes as we reposition ourselves in relationship to it, leading us to our true heart home.

The experience of the initial steps leads to the next ones. We are afforded exercise of the heart muscles that will be needed for the next steps. The first steps are just as magical as the later ones as each step brings the joy of coming into more and more of our infinite essence.

Falling in deeper and deeper love with our many varied selves, we overflow with true love for all beings and all life.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

The Grail Pursuit Of Soul Tribe

by Raphael Awen

The desire to find and be a part of Soul Tribe feels like it is increasing exponentially for many of us in the times we are moving through. 

It’s a feeling for me that has always been there in my life. At times, it has expressed in really applying myself to the tribe at hand, be it my birth family, my current circle of friends, my church family, a spiritual group, etc. What I found for myself personally was that the deeper I pressed into the family at hand, the sooner I found myself uncomfortably at the exit door to the relationship. While the exit door was usually an exit of my own choosing, as I was always welcome to drop what I was advocating for and needing, stop rocking the boat, and instead settle in for the life-long haul, I seemingly couldn’t stop myself from moving on.

Something has always felt at stake. Something has always felt that I needed to choose, to pursue, to desire, and to need. Something has always also felt that I wanted to be needed, to be chosen, to be desired, and to be needed. What has changed is the frequency bandwidth that I am broadcasting at in all of that wanting and needing. This then, in turn, led to natural moving on points, that I was being invited to step into.

Some people work hard to quell these feelings, and though there have been times that a part of me could envy living that way too, I keep coming back to a ‘search for the holy grail’ kind of living, and to do that with Soul Tribe.

My Soul Tribe is about the wanting, the needing, the desiring, the rocking the boat when the boat is needing to be rocked or even capsized. It is about the entering and the leaving. It is about completing one context of life so to be able and energized to enter the next context of life. It is about the endless curiosity expansion into the unknown. 

My Soul Tribe is about feeling all the losses along the way, to mourn them, to grieve them, to allow the next phase of Soul Tribe to arise and overflow into my life as I currently know it. 

My Soul Tribe is about feeling my truth resonate inside the tribe, where even a natural and healthy ‘conformity for love’ can breathe that isn’t a codependent grasping for love. I get to conform when I want to and need to. I also get to be uniquely different when I want to and need to. I get to do it all and be it all inside of community. I get to need and want love. I get to be loved. I get to feel all the parts of me who are in different stages of their own relationship to love and community. 

What is your Soul Tribe about? Are you in a ‘lone-wolf’ between phase that is preparing the courage to pursue again? Are their past tribe wounds that are wanting to be felt by you? Are there parts of you who refuse to ever risk again, while at the same time, other parts of you aching for real resonant heart and soul frequency community? 

SoulFullHeart is one such tribe. I belong to it and co-lead it. Session space is offered as the clear doorway into it. If it calls to you, I’d so love to host your inquiry further, all the way to the deeper and richer unknown that your soul can’t resist pursuing. 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Love’s Push Pull

By Raphael Awen

Love is the thing we crave the most, but strangely, it is also the thing we resist the most.

How in the world could both of these be true at the same time?

I feel it has to do with how we are love in search of itself.

If we set out to define what we are, we soon see the inadequacy of a biological description of what we are or any kind of mental description, and we are left parked at the door of reverence.

Awe and wonder opens us out to seeing and feeling the love that is at core of the universe (or multiverse, or whatever other word you currently use to attempt to describe the largest container that we all swim in).

Love itself set out to know itself, through the challenge of opening itself out to what it isn’t. Love set out to grow beyond the fullness of bliss that it already was, admitting that an emptiness was beginning to invade the fullness of itself.

In other words, it simply came to want more. It grew dissatisfied.

If this is true, then the very lives we are living today, (rather than the one you imagine living after attaining some grand spiritual attainment) are already deeply grounded in love’s holding and expansion. Everything in your life that feels like not-love is an opportunity for love to come to know itself inside of circumstance. Prior to your and my circumstances, love had no mirror like circumstance in which to see or know itself, as it was all there was.

Then if this is true, then how do we ground this into our waking reality, our livelihood, our relationships, our anxieties, our dreams?

I believe the most effective way to act on this is to ‘real’-ize it into everyday life, to enculturate it into your life the same way your present reality came to be enculturated in you. What it feels like to be you today came to you relationally. It came to you through the dynamic of relationship exchange. It involved a you and an other. If you had a somewhat normal development, at around 2 years of age, you began to feel yourself as an other, leaving the oneness bliss oroboros of being one with your mother. From then on, you became conditioned as a distinct and separate you through the relational (you to other) experiences that you have had since then.

Very fortunately for each of us is the truth that what we are made up of is in fact many separate and distinct others. Our personality is in fact more of a family presentation than it is what we think of as a single person.

This now gets to the core of our question at hand – how could we both crave love and resist love at the same time?

As a soul being, that existed prior to our human inhabitation and expression, we set out to know love. We did that by entering a human domain where the matrix perception reality is one of the scarcity of love. Our human experience is well versed in learning how to survive in love’s lack, how to minimize our needs and function on as little as possible. But what we are and where we came from is all about the superabundance of love. We know this in every cell of our being, regardless of the poverty that may be at play in our life’s dramas.

We are living two stories at the same time. The plot is one where everything has been put at stake for the re-realization of love’s fullness. Love risked everything it had when it put its greedy wager out on you, and it won’t be satisfied until you are basked in love’s utter immersion and return to the oneness from whence you came.

You get to be an active facilitator of this process when you reach out relationally to these parts of you that make up what you’ve called you. You get to be this beacon of love’s superabundance to these aspects of your being that we’re hoodwinked into the scarcity side of the matrix equation. The lack was necessary until now. Now, you are invited to shift into part two of your life’s story.

Let love be felt and experienced by every part of you in a sacred relational reparenting process, where every bruised leg and skinned knee is an opportunity to discover what real love is.

When you become reconvinced of the superabundant love world, the scarcity world takes leave of your consciousness and takes leave of your ongoing life story.

You are the story of love waiting to be told and retold for the millennia to come.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Fear Is A Form Of Reverence

By Raphael Awen

Fear is a form of reverence.

That which we fear, we revere.

We fear and revere things that we perceive as bigger than us. We fear god, circumstances, illness, etc. as things or beings that are bigger than us and that we are thus subject to. I might want this, but god might want something different for me that I don’t want.

All of this is a product of making ourselves small.
What we really fear at a deep core level are not the things that we think we fear. What we really fear is our own bigness. Our bigness isn’t just big, it is infinitely big. Anything that we can’t define, refine or confine, we fear, and understandably so.

So we set out to manage ourselves. We manage life instead of letting in life. We see ourselves as subject to life, rather than the subjects of life. We choose a perception of a scarcity-based relationship to life because of the utter fear of falling prey to unlimited abundance.

It is actually way easier for parts of us to shut down our desire for more and just live with the dampened desire and dampened disappointment than it is to open ourselves full throttle to the level of desire and abundance that our being actually is. Here again is the deep core fear we run from.

How might we change this?

Because we live as conditioned beings, and we have conditioned ourselves to a lesser-reality which has become our ultimate-reality, then it follows that letting in new and truer reality will happen for us as we entertain and let in that new reality. We begin to become reconditioned to a new reality. Nothing happens without our consent and choice in our personal kingdoms and queendoms because we are the sovereign of our own domains.

There is still a deep place for surrender to the divine in all of this, it’s just that you can’t take yourself out of the divine equation. By that, I mean, you can’t externalize God and surrender to God. This is a form of keeping intact the small-you reality. You can’t separate yourself from divinity, try as you may.
Many will chafe at this idea of seeing themselves as god. How sacrilegious they exclaim. What we define as blasphemy is in service of the gods of our own creation. The gods we create are created out of our deepest fears that we haven’t yet felt.

Time and time again, life faces us with our infinite bigness, awaiting our surrender, our exploration, our reverence for all that is, and all that is in us, and though us, and to us….You are ‘divinity out divining’…. as you are now; as you are desiring to be; and as you will more and more come to terms with every day.

Feel your fears. They are one of the single truest things about you. So are your desires. Feel them too. Own it all. Let in the tears of having muffled both your real and deepest fears as well as your desires.

Let love collide with the reality you’ve conditioned yourself to.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.