Tag: grief

Allowing the Waves of Grief

Published on by Raianna Shai3 Comments

By Raianna Shai

Grief is a much bigger part of our lives and our emotional bodies than I think we realize. We don’t just grieve passed loved ones or the end of relationships. We grieve old versions of ourselves, nostalgic places, past habits, other lifetimes, the state of the world – really anything that is coming to an end. It’s also one of the most complicated and pushed away emotions we can have as humans.

It’s deep, existential, nonlinear and shows up when we least expect it. Everyone I know who has experienced the deepest versions of grief have described it as coming in waves. It crashes over you and suddenly you feel like you’re drowning. One day you’re the happiest you’ve been in a long time and the next you’re weighed down with an intense heaviness.

I know that grief is not exactly easy to feel but I also know what happens when it’s left unfelt. It harms us in our physically bodies through different aches and illnesses, it causes us to push down any emotion that comes up in fear that it will uncap all of the unfelt grief we’ve left bottled up and it can keep us from connecting to the deeper parts of ourselves that are beyond the grief.

Grief is deep but it does have another side. It is tender, real and honest. It shows us what we really care about and where our deepest fears and desires lie. It shows us so much truth and if truly allowed to come to the surface when it needs to – it can help us love deeper, trust more easily and stay current with every new emotion.

This has been the biggest emotion that I’ve felt this last month and though it’s been painful, it’s also taught me so much about myself and all the varied and important parts of me. It’s shown me that I can feel 50 emotions in one breath, 100 thoughts in each tear that falls from my eyes, a depth so vast it feels like I’ll never feel anything else.

And then I do. I keep moving, keep feeling, keep letting myself dive into this well of despair and come back out feeling even closer to these parts inside of me. Letting go of every hope and dream I’ve had and making way for new ones. In allowing these feelings to surface, I’m telling these parts of me that they are valid, real and loved. And that is where the healing really happens.

Pictured is me feeling real grief during a recent group circle with SoulFullHeart. The community support and love was huge for allowing myself to go to these depths

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Love Stories Don’t End, They Start New Chapters

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

This was a hard post to write. It is always vulnerable to share about intimate pieces of our lives, yet in service, in transparency, and in honoring it is needed. This past month there has been a deep rumble in my union with Kasha. She and I have been in this process, community, and sacred journey for nearly 10 years together. We have been romantic for about half of those years, in and out. We even got married three and a half years ago to initiate our bond even deeper, even as that completed shortly thereafter.

There has been something deeply core between us and within each of us that has been challenging to reconcile. Each time we have gone in together, we have found new layers of intimacy together, yet also a pattern that has been undeniable between us. In our recent group session, we had to come to the honest truth that we are just not the pair-bond we thought we were.

Yes, we have so much goodness between us. Enough to power a typical relationship to the end of our lives possibly. Yet that is not why we are here. I am still coming to terms with what a sacred union even is. How scary and yet powerful it can be! There is something in me that has been polarized to letting all of that in. This inner split in me has come to my awareness recently and needs a lot of my attention and love. It has colored a lot of the way I have related to Life and Romance. I lost my Lover somewhere along the way.

I am curious how much of my soul history has been involved in these kinds of sacred bonds. I have a seed for union inside of me yet I don’t know how much it has been expressed in my lifetimes. Regardless of that possibility, I am in deep need of resolving something core inside of me that has been difficult to access in our bond together. I don’t want to be an anchor to where Kasha is needing and wanting to go in her soul around sacred romance and union.

There is a lot still to mourn and grieve around this for me. A lot to see and feel inside of myself that comes with me going forward. I said these words before and yet they still hold true today and will 10 years from now. There is always a peeling of the onion and each time we do, the tears fall. The heart gets heavy and the work begins again. Yet, for both of us, we ultimately want what is the highest calling for each of us, even if that might not be in sacred romance together. A tough pill to swallow when there is so much goodness.

A love story doesn’t always just end. It sometimes just takes on a new direction. We have been here before and we know what needs to be felt and addressed along the way. Because of what Kasha has given me, I get to see myself in a real way not only in a good way. This is the gift of sacred union whether they prolong or complete. They offer us back to ourselves and to the Divine in a new way. We see where we have grown and what still needs healing. I could not have done that without beloved Kasha. She has been a portal and catalyst for so much of my growth as well as my joy. We have had so many incredible moments together and in service.

So the road back to me begins again. The road to another layer of my authentic self and my relationship to the Divine in both Mother and Father frequencies. I have been blessed by these experiences with Kasha and have much to own on my side. Sometimes a spade is a spade, even if it looks like a heart.

Thank you to you all who have been a part of our love story. I know that there will be personal reactions to it. For those that have been around us long enough, know what we have had together and will continue to have in the decade to come. I will write more about my own process soon as I digest more of it in time. For now, thank you for taking this, and our former Usness, into your hearts.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Culture Of Violence And The Loss Of Innocence

Published on by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

My heart is heavy with the news of 19 children and 2 adults being killed in a horrific shooting at an elementary school in Texas. I cannot even fathom the situation. I don’t think many of us can. I was an elementary school teacher in California for 13 years and I remember the drills we needed to do to prepare for the types of situations that happened in Texas. It was always surreal and deeply disturbing that we ever had to do that.

I am not here to get into a debate or a lashing out, though that is completely understandable and needed, especially for anyone affected by this heinous act. What I do want to do is just humanize it. Get out of the realm of politics and go into the grief, even the rage, for what has just occurred. Unfortunately, it is becoming commonplace in the US and it points to some deeper issues that just can’t be solved only with laws.

There is an undercurrent of deep emotional distress beyond the pale. All the talk of solutions, rights, immigration, gender, or false flag just miss the mark at the moment. They cover over something that needs to be looked at and felt at a deeper layer inside all of us individually and collectively. What the hell is going on? How did it get to this point?

There is a sickness in our society. A dis-ease that is eating away at the core of our humanity. When it starts to find its way to our children, that has to be a wake-up call. First, a call to the grief. A call to the deep loss of our innocence and our connection to each other and the Holy. As a whole we have lost our way, and it shows. The tragic deaths of these children and adults must be a reflective point inside of us. A ‘coming to Jesus’ moment.

I don’t have an ‘answer’ to this. All that is and will be hotly debated are just band-aids to the pain that lies underneath. I get why the debate will rage, yet right now in the Heart, it means nothing. There is only feeling. I stand in feeling with all of those who have had their lives turned upside down and inside out. There are no words that can make it better or easier. We have to look inward first and decide what each of us does next.

What have we allowed to continue to fester underneath the veil of ‘normalcy’ when nothing is really normal anymore. The shadow is leaking out in ways that are having consequences we can’t not live with anymore. We have to call upon ourselves to go to the places that are not comfortable to see or feel and bring as much love as we can to it. We are also called to take action. Make choices for ourselves and our children, whether they are ours or not. They have taken the brunt of our misguided and unhealed ways for too long. We must consider what world we want to guide them into and to create for themselves. But first we must ask ourselves that same question.

The ‘system’ is broken. It was never really functional in my opinion, but something is definitely off the rails. These horrific events reflect something profound about its very nature as well as ours. We have a disconnect in us all. Not a thing to fix really, but to meet with an open and curious heart. We have to build a new system from the inside out. The roots of the new grass live in you and me. We need to grow that grass for our children, and inner children, to play on. To feel safe to explore and learn from, not to be killed in.

I am not a fan of guns or governments. I don’t like either. Yet here they are. A part of the system we live in whether we like it or not. I am not here to write a treatise on what should replace it or how to control it. I am just here to share my heart and cry my tears for what has happened. For what feels like should not have happened. Yet, maybe there is meaning in it after the grief. After the rage. Something for each of us to address in our own way whatever that way is.

For me, now, it is prayer. It is feeling the pain. It is sending my love to all of those that were affected and whose lives have changed forever. To them, to you, my heart says, “I love you and I am sorry.”

This must be our awakening.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The No Man’s Land Of Our Collective Grief

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By  Raphael Awen

If we take a step outside of this most challenging polarity moving through us right now as a species, we see where there’s something none of us really comfortable feeling.

If the anti injection people are correct, then there’s a wave of destruction and fear that is already here and scaling up at a pace we can only guess at.

If the pro experimental injection people are correct, then our sovereignty and autonomy is best left in the hands of a governing body who are better equipped to lead our lives.

Either way, we are giving up something of such huge proportions. I don’t think there’s a single one of us yet who’s felt the deepening scale of this.

Raging at it, or turning over and accepting it feel like two polarized ways of starting to work through it, but there’s still a huge no man’s land that I haven’t seen anyone step into.

In that no man’s land is something to feel.

Trying to describe it almost does it a disservice, for it can only really be felt, not described. But it has something to do with mourning and grief on a scale we haven’t known in this life.

Life as you and I knew it is changing rapidly, daily and minute by minute. Something big is dying and not returning, regardless of which side of the issue(s) you find yourself on.

People on both sides of the polarity believe they have spared themselves from some personal suffering. ‘According to their beliefs’, as Yeshua would say, ‘so be it unto them’. Beliefs are such strong personal reality creators, but they only go so far.

There’s a shared reality that whether it’s recognized or not, is happening. That reality is the shared boat we are sailing in. The hole in your end of the boat IS actually an issue to me. There’s only one boat, even as we are afforded individual bubbles within that boat, but OUR boat is sinking.

We all chose to be a part of this transition, and to give up a quality of an old life to be a part of anchoring in a new life. Whether you are injection injured, (and my heart breaks for you if you are) or out promoting getting the next booster, we are going somewhere.

There’s somewhere we won’t be returning to.

That change calls into question every plan, every intention, every purpose, every sense of meaning. All of it is up for continual revision as we sort through what can and does feel crazy making and disorienting.

Nothing makes sense in the old way. In the interim, we’re all grasping for the new way that isn’t quite here yet.

I don’t know any other way to be with it, other than to feel this surrender to what is, open my heart to being further activated into this care for myself and our beautiful collective that would choose such transition through such confusion as a planetary group soul’s higher choice and service to the divine’s unfolding of itself through us.

WE chose this. WE created it. The polarity is of OUR creation. When you accept that, you get baptized into being a YOU in service of the WE.

You get to care. You get to feel. You get to mourn. You get to weep the tears others aren’t ready yet to weep. You even get to thrive in love as you take part in honoring the death all around.

You get to be in the real moment that is here now.

And in that moment we see that the deeper our polarities, the deeper our shared reality.

Raphael

We are offering a gathering place of community engagement around a shared new experience of life in community, vulnerability and transparency at https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/, in exchange for $22.22 USD per month. If you feel drawn, we would love to have you join us.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Grief and Mourning Guided Meditation: Video 24 – Deepen 2022 (Video) | Raphael Awen & Gabriel Amara

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

In this twenty-fourth video of our 31 day video series called Deepen 2022, SoulFullHeart Teacher/Co-Creator Raphael Awen is joined by SoulFullHeart Teacher/Facilitator Gabriel Amara as we explore Sacred Masculine Awakening over the next four videos.

In this video, we shared about how undigested grief and mourning seems to be the big piece holding the masculine back from entering the true ground of their emotional body from where real authenticity and presence and being arises; how this grief can be related to experiences this life, and can even stretch back all the way back to our original separation wound held by an Inner Orphan part of us that was created when we were soul-born into an individuated separate consciousness out of the Divine. We talked about how the masculine’s entire relationship with life, with meaning and purpose, with self-identity is then skewed by this undigested grief.

In the guided meditation portion of the video, Gabriel and Raphael lead you into the grief room to feel what is ready to be bridged to and felt, mourned, and then taken out into the light of day – from mourning to morning.

You can watch each video in the Deepen 2022 playlist on our SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZWeBviA18Y&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvJPnLzbEKl4OsQBXBYw2XwI

For more information about the Deepen 2022 series including a full listing of the content covered over 31 days and information about a Deepen 2022 group call on January 30th, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org/deepen2022

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, videos, and events, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org.
We also invite you to join us for free membership on our private, online community SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks for sharing, asking questions, and connecting with others engaged in the series: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/feed
For more information about a free intro call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

We are offering this series free of charge, yet we would be so grateful if you offered an energy exchange/donation to us for the value you receive in this series. You can donate through paypal: http://paypal.me/jelelleawen or at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop

How You Leave One Phase Of Life Determines How You Enter The Next

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By  Raphael Awen

The changing season of the year causes us to yearn.

Whatever was left unfulfilled of summer desires, now falls into our personal composter to be transmuted into yearning. Yearning in turn takes us into new places as it seasons our appetite to trust again, to desire again.

I’ve always had most of my biggest life changes occurring around this time of year. This year is no different as we find a new place to settle in Portugal and break camp from our camping experience this summer in Northern Portugal.

If life is anything, it is an adventure where the advent and joy of new things invites us to let go of old things. This involves grief, mourning and letting go, all of which wouldn’t be a thing were there no attachment.

Of course, you were attached!

You had a really cool thing going on. It was the best you ever knew, quite possibly beyond what you even dared hope for. Now, it’s coming to an end. The only real ‘attachment disorder’ would be the inability to mourn the detachment.

If life is an adventure, then it is a series of attachments and detachments, of joys and sorrows. The ones who live the deepest lives are the ones who can let in the deepest joys and the deepest sorrows.

How you leave one phase of life determines how you enter the next. If you cannot grieve the loss of something that you truly loved, you’ll be hampered to allow another really good thing that will only end up compounding your unexpressed grief. This becomes the flatlined life we see passing itself off as normal all around us.

Life wants to utterly surprise you again, but it also doesn’t want to do that if it will end up being to your demise and unnecessary suffering. You get in shape for the next surprise if you are able to enter your yearning, being willing to truly want, being able to truly feel what you gained and what you lost.

You’re human, and humans get to grieve, because they also get to attain the coolest shit. Your courage and strength is found in your welcoming of the adventure.

Be with the parts of you who are afraid to grieve. They know that grieving lets in the next adventure and they understandably need digestion of the last adventure before they can go on to the next.

Raphael Awen

SoulFullHeart.org/sessions

Jelelle and I went to Píodão yesterday, here in central Portugal.  An ancient town all built out of the local stone. For the travel bug in you, here’s a sweet article on Piodao: https://portuguese-american-journal.com/travel-life-in…/

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

My Romance Completion With Jelelle Awen

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

I’d like to share a deep personal update regarding myself and my relationship with Jelelle.

A few weeks ago, Jelelle and I agreed to give some space, and to sleep apart for a night or two, and that quickly arose to more clarity and relief and draw towards giving ourselves back to ourselves. A peaceful, palpable and supported guidance arose each day, amidst the shock and grief of that at the same time, to let go of our romantic and sexual bond of 12 plus years, and to see what wants to come next beyond that. 

Something undeniable was completing, had become more recognizable in recent months, and had now gone full circle and all we could do was be with it each day for the past several weeks. We checked in with one another most days since sharing deeper digestions, discoveries, apologies, many tears and love. Our immediate Soulfullheart community around us was our first line of support and we then in turn shared this on our members only Soulfullheart Portal. The support and love was overwhelming, making this unimaginable feared thing, somehow doable, albeit a rollercoaster at the same time. 

Jelelle and I agreed that we would like to share this publicly now in concert with one another as it feels weird at some point to not be transparent, after a needed more private space was taken. I feel accountable to love itself, to be transparent about my story, my gains, my losses, and then to let love return me to me, and me back to love. 

This is definitely a strange time, and timed with Gaia’s own solstice movements into death and rebirth. I feel weak in my body and mind to be sharing this all now, but I trust it at the same time. A cold arose in my body and has been moving through, something I can’t remember having a full on cold like this in so many years, understandable now as the body, heart and soul goes into a deep reset. 

I shared on our recent group call that Jelelle and I led that I felt maybe the one greatest treasure of discoveries this life is a discovery that has since led to all the discoveries and treasures that followed, including the treasure of these years with Jelelle, and that single most outstanding discovery is the ability to grieve. Without the ability to grieve, we limit ourselves from life’s death and rebirth cycles. Being incarnate into human form is to sign up for gain and loss, for joy and sorrow, and to the degree I can let in and feel the loss, is the degree the deeper joy that wants to come is then allowed to come. 

At 19, when a girlfriend broke up with me, it took me a full additional 19 years for life to feel safe enough for me to come to a place to let in the grief of that loss. The loss, though 19 years prior, was now through an awakening process like it was the week before as I suspended life as I knew it sufficiently to allow the waves of grief and tears to roll through. Looking back at that delayed grief experience now, some 20 years later, I can feel how epic of a turning point that was for me and how subsequent life changes that arose could be referenced back to that time. It was the kindergarten of my relationship to grief. I felt so human to feel my grace to lose deeply and in that to prepare for the magic of what was lost to return in whatever ways it wanted to. Being able to draw the relationship with Jelelle and then have the ability to show up for the many rigors that relationship would call me too was definitely rooted in that earlier grief process. 

Fast forward to today and I can so see how the arising treasure now in all this journey is the deepening into the love that wants to exist, me to me, my feminine to my masculine and vice versa, a love that can never be lost, or ‘taken away’. 

That all may sound a bit like a contextual big picture kind of perspective, and it is to be sure, but it doesn’t take away from the waves of feelings of allowing myself to completely melt down, repeatedly these past weeks into inconsolable tears at times of letting go. A deep and profound consolation does arise when I can just allow each part of me to have their unedited and necessary reactions. 

Jelelle and I have always acknowledged that our romantic bond would sustain while it was mutually growthful for us to deepen in this inward journey, and oh, how it has done that! This arising into deeper vulnerability where the only guarantee is an inward one, raises the stakes too, I’ve found, inviting more risk, more investment, more trust, and mostly more growth into The All that I Am. 

Maybe some of you who have followed us feel surprised or even shocked on some level to feel us not sustaining as a couple. I can only tell you that that is a human tendency, and a familiar one of my own, to project some kind of perfection onto an other, to pedestalize, a projection of your own perfection that you are just not ready to quite hold just yet and so you need a place to put it for safekeeping. If I was a part of that projection for you, I am honoured to have served you in that, and I’m sorry for your loss, while at the same time feeling the needs for each of our pedestals to topple when the time is ripe. The beloveds closest to us know all too well the grist in our edges that showed up in our relationship, and how sacred and necessary those edges were. I particularly am discovering a torch of illumination onto my configurations and relationship patterns these past days again, feeling what was parked in shadow and what was energized in light, and how all of that wants and needs to be loved now in the relief of a sacred completion inside of me – a homecoming, a returning home to myself after an amazing mission into beauty and bounty, a time to debrief, to let go and let in. 

To each of you who have loved and lost, and were subsequently willing to feel that loss, I feel like your kin, your kind, to have shared in that experience. To enter love is to enter love’s illusion and disillusion. Romance is particularly idyllic and fairy tale, where we are invited to make that fairy tale as true a fairy tale as can be, to ingest all of its experiences, and then to allow all of that to return to love itself. It’s got to be the biggest bravery and deepest vulnerability there is, to do this from the heart. 

Inevitably, there is the temptation to assign blame in the aftermath, as a resistance, a distraction to feeling the depth of the loss. Thank God, Jelelle and I both seemed to have truly made it past that mile post some time back together. There’s like this banquet of love to be felt on the other side of the blame game. If no one is to blame, then I can see where I limited love and admit it and ask forgiveness, not to be absolved of guilt, but to let love have its new and ongoing way with me, and hopefully between Jelelle and I into new grounds of love together. 

Beginning this month, as the place we’d been staying with the 5 of us as a community, was no longer available, and as our New Year travel plans for Malta were cancelled due to Covid, we all decided it was best and desirable to hunker down here in Glastonbury. Gabriel and I found a place to live in town to allow for the needed space to ground into this new reality, while remaining in connection as a fivesome here. 

Thank you to each of you reading this, feeling me, yourself, as I pause to feel what else I’d like to say in this post. Making this public feels like another layer of digestion, of accepting this new reality. Sharing this is an opportunity to receive love from love itself in the form of your responses and I open myself to that love. 

I’m so freaking grateful to have found my tears of reunion and to be a part of others finding their tears of reunion with themselves and with love. I’m grateful to serve others in their discoveries with love. I’m called to be this trans-parent, because god (our parent) knows, all that’s really needed is transparency – it heals everything and allows love to flow. 

Jelelle, I want to say publicly how profoundly grateful I am to you to have been your partner in romance, in sensuality, in sexuality, in vulnerability, in angst, in tears, in longings, in service to others, in evolution, in bounty and beauty, and in loss too. If I can lose this much, what does that have to say about how much more there is to gain, in new forms of love, with myself, with you, with life and with others? You are truly beautiful beyond compare. I hope I can stay in the room to endure the new forms of that love that want to radiate between us and through us, to allow the gift of these past 12 years to continue to unfold, into more joint service, into deeper community and service with others.  I love you.

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Welcoming All The Challenges Of 2021 As a Part Of Our Return To Love

Published on by Deya Shekinah2 Comments

By Deya Shekinah

This time last year I came to Glastonbury and planted a seed, an intention to spend more time here in 2020. Initially that seed was planted with a beloved but as the year unfurled that romance came to an end. The most intimate and loving relationship I have ever experienced coming to an end has been my biggest teacher this year, with the grief of that loss opening my heart to the grief of all of the losses I have ever experienced, which continues to unravel moment to moment.

I feel how we have all, in our own ways this year, experienced doors and chapters of our lives closing and ways of being dissolving. Uncertainty has become a more visible reality that we have to learn to walk with every day in new ways and that has been tough.

Yet as I land here now in Avalon/Glastonbury with a new dawn arising for 2021, full of possibilities and potential for more growth, more love, and more challenges, I feel more held in trust than ever before because of my own personal journey this year to get here. This year has forced us all in many ways to face some of our biggest fears: loneliness, grief, loss, and death. It is my experience, by feeling all of these places inside, that there is a tremendous amount of courage, adaptability and strength inside all of us to keep finding new ways to thrive, to love and to connect, and that however restricted or lost parts of us may feel, that is never the whole truth.

Letting in the beauty of all the challenges and the lockdowns may not be easy, but it is in feeling the empty, lockdowned spaces within that we are being reborn, even when we cannot see it or feel it. 

As much goodness is flowing into my life at this moment, I feel the fruition of listening to this invitation of turning deeply inwards towards myself during these times of lockdown. I will move into my own place on New Year’s Day here in Avalon and it is the first time I will have ever lived alone which I am excited about, and finally, after three years, I am with my beloved SoulFullHeart community in the physical. It feels like my seed from last New Year’s is beginning to sprout, although the beloved is inwards now rather than on the outside. 

As the new challenges for 2021 are already arising, I feel us all able to hold them and ourselves more lovingly after all we have learnt in 2020. 

2021 feels to me like a year to keep embracing the beauty and the tensions of the duality that we came here to experience, to allow the fullness of the human experience that is always working for us to humble us and re-sensitize us to the simple, subtle joys of being embodied and alive. As another year ends and a new one begins, I am reminded that endings and beginnings co-exist and are a constant in our daily lives not just on New Year’s Eve… and that feels ever more present in where we are in our humanity right now.

As we all continue to move through life’s death and rebirth cycles, from my heart in the Heart Chakra of the Earth, I send you so much love and many New Year’s blessings. May we continue to remember and uncover the goodness, innocence and love that is who we are, and learn to radiate the light that is in our hearts so we can continue to guide each other towards New Earth.

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant & Community Member. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Exposing The Roots Of Sacred Union

Published on by James Elphick1 Comment

by James Elphick

Over the last few months it has felt true to turn inward, to heal, to be more self-contained and become more familiar with the relationship between my inner masculine and feminine rather than looking for a new relationship with another on the outside.

With this exploration I have found that there isn’t just one feminine and one masculine energy, but many each holding different frequencies that influence my whole. When there is a deep feeling and intimacy with these, there is room for them to breathe and heal. The healthier aspects harmonize and there is balance. Then daily activities and all types of relationships, especially the one with myself, have an ease and a flow.

This is a lifelong work in progress!

Through the ending of my last relationship, the recent death of my friend, and also my father’s passing two weeks ago, grief is current. There seems to be a continuing initiation into grief in ever-deepening layers alongside the discovery of the universal love portal that is found deep within it.

I feel that the reason the heart breaks is so it doesn’t have to stay in a safe, formal posture. It is saying, “You are holding me too small”. The shards of protection can journey into the ethers and if the heart is felt and loved it will re-form into a softer, more expansive, more supple healthiness.

In turn this helps see a Sacred Union between Spiritualness and Humanness. The Sacred Balance of recognition of the universal law of impermanence along with the deep human feeling of never wanting relationships or lives to end, and grief when they do.

I’m learning that although our conditioning tells us that we can only relate in the physical, there can be an ethereal connection to those who I have lost in the physical this year.

This confirms to me that love never dies.

I am in community and being with SoulFullHeart feels like another Sacred Union.

This union, sometimes similar to a romantic relationship, can become a mirror and help bring up hidden parts and unconscious patterns. From the knowing that whatever is being revealed can be a portal into deeper growth and expansion there is less panic about fixing this aspect. Instead, there is a more gentle process exploring this alone through meditation, journaling, talking with the group or in individual sessions.

As familiarity with the process increases more trust is arising and an ability to “hold my process” is there.

I know that there is a tendency in me that can look for everything in someone else, but it feels I’m starting to embody the knowing that everything is in me. There is less investment in the One and rather the Whole. This has to start in Sacred Union within, then to the whole which includes community, romance, and service.

I’m looking forward to joining the group transmission on Oct 10th with Raphael and Jelelle who help template romantic Sacred Union to me and I hope that you can join too. Please see the link below ❤:

https://fb.me/e/2UdZXooYw

More information about 1:1 sessions, group call events and more at soulfullheart.org

***

James Elphick is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and community member. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

The Sobering, Activating, And Powerfully Burning Solar Eclipse Energies

Published on by Kasha Rokshana2 Comments

By Kalayna Solais

Darkness, sobriety, landing in what’s real. The bursting of much-beloved (though sometimes also resented) bubbles of what parts of you had held as reality.

This is the energy of the Dark Mother/Madonna face of Divine Mother, powerful and unsentimental yet deeply loving. This is the invitation back inward from this upcoming Solar Eclipse, on the feminine (moon) side of it.

Support to keep feeling what’s real and to make space for the pain that surfaces, yet to FEEL and let in that you ARE supported and deeply loved…

This is the energy of the Father Sun/Metatron face of the Divine Father, helping you activate and step into NEW timelines even through the rubble of what has just crumbled and deeply feeling you and your parts in the sobriety and sadness. This is the invitation of going inward and yet not hiding your newly awakening desires and the Phoenix within you, another energy offered by this upcoming Eclipse. This time from the masculine (sun) side of it.

I feel the sobriety and continuing mirror of this Eclipse and what these energies are offering rumbling through as I write this. It can certainly feel intense at times, especially if you’re shifting from an outward focus and going back inward. This is something I’ve experienced personally with almost every phase of shifting timelines so for me this is an ongoing invitation to keep bringing it ALL back inward, taking in ALL of life’s reflections and letting them help and support me to cultivate more love inside of me, less suffering, more significant movement into the NEW.

Important cosmic events like this Eclipse help bring us back to the foundations upon which we’ve been relating to life and love. They have a way of encouraging old phases and relationships to burn up so we can all begin to see what’s been REAL about them, especially how parts of us have been relating to it all. The masculine and feminine parts of you have their own personal ways with which they relate to all of life and also to each other. It’s important to feel the polarity dance of these energies inside of you in order to understand more of what could be happening, why you could be drawing or not drawing what you are on the outside.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen created a video and guided meditation for connecting with your inner Sacred Union of feminine/masculine that I highly recommend taking in:

I’m finding it especially important and clarifying to check in daily with these energies inside, to see how they’re doing and if they’re flowing together or not. It’s a way to see the ‘state of your INNER union’, if you will. 🙂 Sometimes my masculine is frustrated with my feminine or vice versa. Sometimes one is overwhelming the other instead of actually caring about their impact on each other. When they dance in more harmony and balance and love, alchemy happens. More moments of joy happen. Life just generally feels more empowering and so much better, even if there are still some sobering circumstances moving through.

Eclipses especially seem to bring messages of inner masculine/feminine polarities… the dance between feeling and doing, going inward and flowing outward, INtegration and ACTivation. It’s a highly creative and alchemical time too, even if there’s deep and necessary mourning. There’s always something about returning back home to yourself, your parts, your heart and soul and the consciousness it truly embodies right NOW that helps you step into whatever is ‘next level’ for you, especially next level of love inside.

Much love to you during this much needed and alive, though quite sobering Eclipse phase… collectively and personally. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.