awakening – Page 76 – Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart)

Everything You Feel Is Alive

Published on July 26, 2017August 3, 2017 by Raphael Awen5 Comments

alive

Everything you feel is alive.

The ‘negative’ feelings of pain or sorrow, or longing do not ‘negate’ anything. They are part of the truest thing about you.

If anything could be seen as a ‘negating’ energy in your emotional body, it would be the unwillingness to actually feel yourself and what is actually going on for you. Cut off from feeling your needs or having space to feel a loss, you are left disconnected from yourself and all that you are.

This ‘all that you are’ is a true portal into the deep more that you desire. It is also a mystery that cannot be explained or quantified or solved, but instead can be surrendered to, lived into, with curiosity and reverence.

If it is change you desire, would you be willing to feel this desire as deeply as you currently can? Would you tune in the feeling of the despair of not realizing that desire and then see where that leads?

It could be choices that were not apparent before that are steps towards larger choices, along with a strange new courage to act that wasn’t there before. It could be an opened well of self love springing up from the awareness that you get to feel all there is to feel. You get to be fully human in an ever expanding way. It could be the strange and overwhelming experience of seeing a universe of reality in a dandelion’s beauty, courage and super intelligence, only without a drug/hallucination kind of mediated opening.

You get to fall in love with yourself in ways that open you out to wonder and curiosity and love with others.

You get to also have the gift of others curiosity about you as you live into this same curiosity about yourself and each part of your being.

You get to suspend your answers long enough to re-open the very mutual QUESTions and deep vulnerabilities we all share.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Part Of Me Does. Part Of Me Doesn’t

Published on July 26, 2017 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

part

By Raphael Awen

Part of me does. And part of me doesn’t.

Coming to recognize yourself as a make up of parts as opposed to a single personality is in my opinion and experience the single greatest step to emotional and spiritual consciousness awakening that I know of.

It can be seen and felt how, in our attempt to come across as a single personality, we have suppressed other parts of ourselves who are not at all aligned with our dominant personality presentation to our world around us.

While parts of ourselves can be suppressed, they can never be eliminated from our BEing. Many of us are now feeling the futility of any and all fixes rooted in these kinds of an eradication-of-the-self picture.

Psychology and psychiatry’s attempt has been to label the presence of our subpersonalities as ‘multiple personality disorder’, when we are now coming to see and feel that the real disorder is not the presence of our subpersonalities, but rather the suppression of them into an attempted and highly stressful ‘single personality disorder’.

Your and my difficulty can be traced to this stress of attempting to be a single personality when you in fact are far from it. The ‘you’ who dominates your personality may well see itself as a single personality, and even the only personality ‘at home’, but many of us are seeing beyond these bounds to see and feel that we are more than this dominant personality that has shown up to do our lives for us and as us.

Years ago, in my personal experience with a business coach and his program, I had become quite focused and elated with the results as I had doubled my business income in the year prior. I knew however that I was suppressing another side of myself in order to stay positive and wanted to ask him directly about it, half expecting a quick fix and shallow answer. My question was about how to deal with depression when it appeared threatening the focus and energy. His reply to me was a one sentence question that went into me like a spiritual and emotional surgery that I felt I was in a kind of recovery from for the next 10 days. He simply asked “have you ever considered that a part of you has a very good reason for feeling this way?” These simple words contained a deep and next going-on place in my spiritual journey, that in the next months ahead, naturally resulted in the dismantling of my life as I knew it.

I share with you those same words now. Have you ever considered that a part of you has very good reasons for feeling the ways that it does? …for being attached to the things that it is? …for being resistant to other parts of you? …for being shut down?

If this is true, if this resonates into your being, then I think you can feel it changes everything. All the spiritual practices and self improvement practices that don’t see this model of reality will need to be set aside for new ones that do.

The idea of ‘you’ ‘overcoming’ an ‘unwanted’ ‘addiction’ and ‘getting it behind you’ for instance, is all a picture from the Single Personality Disorder parallel universe you are preparing to leave behind. Now, the concept and feeling tones of instead getting to know the part of you who needs the addiction along with getting to know the part of you wanting to overcome the addiction becomes the new reality.

All of this hinges on an emerging awareness and consciousness of an authentic self, rooted in your higher self who would be willing to relationally get to know all these varied parts of your being, their individual takes on reality with curiosity and love, without therapy agendas. This can be likened to a reparenting experience where we are receiving the water of heart open love that we are meant to flourish in.

It has become popular recently to speak of the need for self-love and even to see that without healthy self love, there can’t be a healthy love for others. But what this picture has not yet offered is a way to transact a love flow with the self because it is still rooted in the single personality picture. Love, just like in valentines, always flows ‘to’ and ‘from’. If we are going to deeply embrace self love, we are going to need a way to get to know and relate with every aspect of our being.

Only now, as we embrace our parts, can we return to the wholeness and essence that we always were and remain, but were forced to let go of in the experience of becoming human.

If these words resonate for you and you’d like to act on a profound next step that you can verify and self validate as you go, I’d like to personally offer you the session space and process of SoulFullHeart. You can read more about that here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

I look forward to hearing from you when you are ready.

Necessary Moments Of ‘Taking Stock’

Published on July 26, 2017August 3, 2017 by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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The moments of deflation are necessary sometimes, of ‘taking stock’, taking a deep breath..an exhale and an inhale, a pause. Before the next letting in of this NEW life that you are the creator, director, and producer of in the Now. This NEW life with timelines that seem to unfurl with magical connections at an increasingly rapid pace.

There are moments of mourning though, letting go of what you’ve invested in sometimes with all of your heart and soul that just didn’t fit in with the NEW. Things just didn’t ‘work out’ even though you so thought that they would! In these ‘in between’ moments, trust and vision and creativity still LIVE, they’ve just gone dormant to allow digestion of loss to happen, to clear you for letting in more.

The watering of Divine support is still there…supporting you, believing in you, imbibing you…waiting patiently until you are ready to receive and move and serve again.

These words are a blessed gift from my higher self guides/aspects as this is the exact place I find myself at in the moment after collapses and completions in recent weeks in SoulFullHeart/my life….maybe you will find resonance and some solace in them too!

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Return To Desire

Published on July 24, 2017 by Raphael Awen2 Comments

desire

By Raphael Awen

The only place any real growth can occur is in the gap between what you have and what you desire to have.

If you don’t desire anything more than what you have, in whatever area of your life, you are at present satiated.

As proverbs says: ‘a full soul loathes a honeycomb’.

Returning to growth will require the courage to re-own your appetite, especially if you’ve worked so hard to get it suppressed to where you did.

Returning to your quest will call upon your deepest QUESTions, and dusting off the clutter and clamour of the answers that once soothed, but now only block the very oxygen your heart and soul is aching for.

Entire spiritual practices, belief systems, social circles and ways of doing life will most likely need to be renegotiated with and very often completely let go of in the process of returning to desire.

Most often, when we set out to kill desire, we subconsciously set up huge infrastructure in our lives to support that suppression. We co-sign mutual contracts with others who are at this same phase as us that we are now going to have to renege on.

Desire cannot be killed. It is pure life energy itself, that can morph and change, but never cease to exist. Even the phase of suppressing desire is part of desire’s dance of helping you come to new terms with it.

You may have lost touch with desire, but desire has not lost touch with you.

Try writing it a letter. Begin with something like ‘Dear Desire, Where have you gone in my life? What have parts of me tried to do to you? What is it you are really wanting? How could we find each other again? Love, Me’ Then wait for a response and write that out. Allow for a penpal back and forth as need be.

Desire itself will rekindle in you in a powerful way if you are ready to trust the process.

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com

If you’d like some serious help returning to and rekindling desire and are ready to admit the answers you have have been killing your growth, I invite you to check out the SoulFullHeart healing and community path. We have a beautiful doorway in through session space that is magical when you are ready for it, and that as you walk through it, you can confirm if this is your next going on place.

Growing Into More Is What We Signed Up For

Published on July 24, 2017July 24, 2017 by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

Growing into More is what we signed up for.

Just like a seed that is sitting in the soil, we have this untapped yet preset potential. The seed can only see itself a seed until the right conditions come in to alter its reality. The water of real love comes pouring in and around. It begins to shift inside and make changes. It does not resist its ultimate destiny but it must push through some dark and difficult terrain. It has become something new. Its outer shell has popped and it is more genuine nature comes through.

Our 3D persona could be seen as this shell. Our protected layer. The seed of our sacred humanity. It is as if we consciously placed our essence into this seed and placed ourselves in the soil of this dimension in order to grow into more. What we thought we were, a seed, is turning out to be way more.

As this new growth begins to make its way through the soil, it is having to make some serious adjustments and recalibrations. This feels like our 4D awakening. Moving through so much turmoil and redefining what we had been used to accepting as real love. What we were so used to and comfortable with in our cozy shell. This alchemical growth phase is a very sacred yet trying time. It can be hard to feel we will ever see the light.

Yet there are moments of breakthrough. We pierce through old veils and conditionings. We begin to make difficult and challenging choices that are more aligned with our path outside the soil of turmoil. We begin to see what we were meant to be and really ARE as new leaves form to receive more of the love we have needed all along.

When we begin to feel fruits of our inner work, a new awareness sets in. You are meant to rise. To blosssom. To reach to the heights of your greatest desires and dreams. To get there though was not small feat. It took tremendous courage and following the inner truth that you were more than just that seed. It took feeling your way, all the way, through the messy and prickly.

As humans we have the conscious free will choice to shut it all down if we want to and need to. That is all part of the growth. But you will always grow, and it all depends on the rate and pace you choose. SoulFullHeart offers a super-charged nutrition for your desired growth into More. If you are feeling the grist of the soil and are looking for some sunlight, we are here to serve that with you in sacred space. We continue to grow in our own ways and are looking for more flowers and trees in our garden of Love and Discovery.

Leaving The Hell You Know For The Heaven You Don’t

Published on July 23, 2017 by Raphael Awen2 Comments

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By Raphael Awen

Opting for the Heaven you don’t know over the Hell you do know will call upon everything in you.

Deep in our essence, we know love in the profoundest sense, yet we struggle to feel it and know it in an everyday sense. We are love. We are heaven. But we took a forgetful journey to the far away land of love’s lack to grow into more of love’s ever expanding infinity.

This is where you find yourself now, far away from love, yet BEing this love, and feeling the parts of yourself and others that are not yet reconciled to this love we all are.

You are love, yet you experience hell.

The craziness of this will constantly incline you to make many temporary and false heavens out of the hell you are actually in.

If you want to get to know more of the real heaven that you don’t yet know in your everyday experience, you are going to have to spend some of that bank account you are holding onto of the hell you do know.

The hell you know is the currency that will buy you what you really want, if you are willing to let it go.

This will require admitting that the hell you are in, is in fact a hell….that you are willing to leave it, and that you want help to find your way out. If that isn’t true for you yet, you simply aren’t done with your sacred chosen hell and what the time there is meant to bring you.

This will also require that you are willing to authorize a resource that you recognize as being part of your emerging heaven to assist you, guide you…that they represent your higher self, your heaven, in physical form.

This will require feeling the painful gap between where you are now and where you long to be, and all that this gap is meant to alchemize in you.

If you are at this place, you have entered the place of true adventure, where the first step is actually as grand as the last step, as they are all steps on the same sacred journey.

If you feel like you are not at this place, see if this feels like you, or instead a part of you, and then see if you are ready to show up for this part of you and the hell they find themselves in.

The Quest For Remembrance

Published on July 22, 2017 by Raphael Awen1 Comment

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By Raphael Awen

We’ve all heard about the internalized messages we received in various ways about ‘the self being bad.’

Much worse, we came to know and feel this as an emotional living hell reality that almost completely governed our relationship with our entire lives.

But what even is the self? Is there a nutshell definition that could somehow fit and not diminish the vastness of what we’ve come to call the ‘self’?

And what is it about this self that got messaged about being so ‘bad’? What was it specifically about the self that even the word self-ish was a bad word from its inception?

(In case you haven’t noticed, I like asking QUESTions, more than I like answers. Answers often block our QUESTions. The answers we receive can never exceed the quality of the QUESTions we are willing to ask. I felt the above QUESTions rumble through me this morning, and now, I await for a response, not so much for ‘thee’ answer, but for an answer that can move and carry us to our next places of living into our truth.)

I tune into beloved guide Metatron, as an extension of my higher self, that is ‘other’ and ‘me’ at the same time. I await his response…

(And it’s a funny feeling, because a part of me says ‘I have no clue what he’s going to say, but I guess if he doesn’t have anything alive or deep to share, we can always not post this,’ as another part of me wants to apologize to Metatron for the lingering doubt…)

Metatron says:

“As infinite love essence, you did not fear entering a deficit of this awareness. You knew that entering a lack of awareness could not take away from your essence as infinite love. You also knew that the only way to get outside of the infinite love that you are would be through a for-getting, a ‘giving up of having’ in your awareness of any feelings of your essence as being this infinite love. You even needed the very real feelings of demonizing the self to provide the feeling of escaping the prison of your essence. You very much created a sub-reality within a greater reality, as you knew that losing awareness could not affect your actual possession.

“This is likened to a man who only knows living in great wealth his whole life and comes to wondering how the rest of the world lives and feels. He knows he has lost his appreciation for what he has and in that has lost his reverence for life itself. Smothered in goodness, he must explore badness to find himself.

“Your higher self though has remained in fluent connection with the essence that you are, as you detoured into ‘what you are not’ and is now wanting to return to deep awareness of who and what you really are. You knew you needed the contrasting experience of forgetting and re-MEMBERing, and in the experience of re-entering your essence a second time, in order to let in reverence.

“This is who and what you are. Deep reverberating reverence.

“This, what you once feared and diminished, NOW, invites you into and onto this next stage of your quest.

“You forgot in order to remember. Your forgetting is complete.

“This is the time of your remembrance, of being re-membered into the fullest membership of being the infinite love you are and always were, and are ever becoming”

Okay, wow, Thank you Metatron. Lots to digest…

From Making To Letting-In

Published on July 21, 2017July 21, 2017 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

let

By Raphael Awen

‘Making love’, ‘making time’, and ‘making money’ are all phrases that were wordsmithed out of the scarcity and unworthiness phase of our consciousness evolution.

Love, we are coming to see, is not in need of making, but we can yield to its fullness if and when and as we are ready to…sexually, emotionally, communally along with whatever other multitudinous ways we can desire it.

Time needs no making. Time is so super abundant that we fear its infinity of opportunity, and so we created the victim’s perception of ‘I just don’t have the time’. We each have been given ‘all have all the time in the world’ to do with it as we please. We are busying ourselves (in several ways) coming to terms with that.

Money is love, a currency, a flow; all of which are more resisted than they are served when we set out to rigidly ‘make money’ in the ways we have.

I’d like to propose that we reinvent these all these expressions from ‘make’ to ‘let-in’.

“I’m still glowing from letting-in love early this morning”.

“Yes, I will let-in the time to meet with you”.

“We’ll just have to let-in the money for a new one, won’t we?”

Sounds and feels better doesn’t it?….for letting-in this super abundant and worth phase of our consciousness evolution that we are now being invited into.

Homeward Bound

Published on July 21, 2017 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

home

By Raphael Awen

None of us gets to be home until all of us are home.

This is true for us sub-personally as in each and every part of us finding their way home, and this is also true for us on super-personal level as in each and every one of us collectively finding our way home.

The healing occurs on the micro and the macro and they are so magically interconnected. This is why when you heal personally, this is your great gift to the collective, AND, as you serve the collective, you serve yourself.

It kind of eliminates our use of the word ‘selfish’ as you are a self-interested self and really can’t not be that. True and healthy self interest is true love for others.

Pretty cool isn’t it?

Shifting Worlds As You Return To Love

Published on July 21, 2017July 23, 2017 by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

Many worlds you live in and walk in and BE in. Many versions of you show up for each of these worlds. There are the masks to slip on and wear as needed….each ‘world’ requiring something different in energy, tone, response. You ‘put it on’, you wear it even as it wearies you more and more to be worn like this. You are like a quick change artist, perhaps shifting without consciousness into new OUTfits many times a day.

All these different worlds leave you stretching over the gaps between who you really ARE and what they EXPECT you to be. The formfitting happens from parts of you that know so well how to do this and have become experts at conforming in this way. Part of you has become a camouflage creature, able to become just like ANY environment that you are in. You can become the color of the social scenery around you, blend right in. This was the order of the day to survive; this is 3D life that requires a heightened sense of self preservation that is about NOT being yourself, yet about being like EVERYONE else.

You start to wake up from your sleep walk. You start to SEE through each of these worlds. You visit the sets and stages. You begin to recognize the props and costumes that you are required to wear. You feel where continual suffering is the badge of entry in and the energy needed to remain. You see the others that were once close to you start to fade from your interest as they stay invested in these worlds and you begin to pull out. They may grab at you and you may go back, in a push-pull and mixed feelings conflictual dance with many things learned on both sides.

Sometimes, you feel like a ghost walking once familiar and comforting hallways that can no longer provide you a place to BE in solid form. Sometimes, you feel like a bull dozer, purposely collapsing these worlds and your place in them….clearing the way for the NEW. Sometimes you are a phoenix…rising from the ashes of all this fiery wreckage to BE reborn without constraints or limits. Sometimes you are a little child, just sobbing in the corner as you wait for a parent to take your hand and show you the way home.

There are no straight lines to follow or linear directional paths to navigate this shifting and sorting out of your worlds. Increasing LOVE for yourself and with others and with the Divine provides heartlines that you can use to navigate in the lost moments. The heartlines disappear at times too, as they are meant to as these are the moments where you inner strength truly grows.

You are free falling into the abyss of lost self identity as the roles fall away, along with the attachments and the rules and expectations too. Yet you begin to trust more and more that you will land on the soft soil of your own soul’s kNOWing and into the arms of the Divine. You begin to find your home. You more often return to love as THIS is the world that offers the most nourishment. And, you start to remember how always will you return, eventually, to the love that you actually ARE!

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