Snow and Sun Codes Bring In Sense Of Newness and Rebirth

By Jelelle Awen

Taking in the first snow of the year here in Victoria, I’m reminded of how purifying and cleansing it is. How still snow is, even when it is ‘falling’, and how it blankets everything in this energy of newness. Snow codes are refreshing, especially if they come rarely and stay for a short time.

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The sun came out to greet us as we headed out on a walk to our local seaside park with Kalayna Solais. There is the joy of reunion in our hearts in the moment after a few months of choosing to be apart. This a celebration of new places to transact together…space made inside from necessarily being apart.

These are the rebirth moments that come out of the death and letting go phases that can be so challenging to navigate. These are the new moments that arise only out of letting go of the old. These are the confetti in the air moments where ash may still even be lingering.

It can seem in the darker moments of separation, that we won’t come into union again. It can push up the separation from the Divine and the wound that is often buried deep of what it felt like to be cast off from such bliss and Oneness. Parts of us can feel the pain of rejection, the hurt of disappointment, and land in the reality of our truth too that didn’t get brought before.

Yet, forgiveness inside and of others clears the ground. And, we are finding our way back to each other, back to the Divine, back to our souls. And life greets us and serves us with whatever necessary death and loss process will bring us most back to ourselves again.

Love,
Jelelle Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

I shared today a teaching and guided meditation as part of my Deepen 2020 series about death and rebirth, offering a bridge to the part of that needs to ‘die’ and let go in order to be reborn:

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Casket To Cradle/Death & Rebirth Guided Meditation Video Four Deepen 2020 W/Jelelle Awen

By Jelelle Awen

 

In this fourth video of my video series called Deepen 2020, I (Jelelle Awen, SoulFullHeart Teacher/Facilitator) talk about the death/rebirth cycle that we are constantly going through in awakening…the ‘death’ of 3D conditioning and the layers of protection created from it and the ‘birth’ of our awakening, 4D/5D self with parts of us integrating into it as they heal. I share about how you might be experiencing this death/rebirth cycle in your life, on a spectrum from subtle to extreme life changes, choices, transitions, and shifts, and how tuning into Divine trust and soul context helps with it.

In the meditation, Mother Mary and Dark Mother join you in a funeral service to honor and feel the part of you that wants and is ready to die, to let go, and to move on. Mother Mary then guides you to connect with the higher frequency version of yourself being born in a cradle. The meditation helps you to bridge and hold space for the death/rebirth process in a conscious way while you are connected to Divine support and trust.

Thank you for joining me in this video….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time! You can watch each video in the Deepen 2020 playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list…

You can watch videos from my previous 33 Day Deepen series from 2019 here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list…

Energy exchange increases the receiving of healing! Money donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange to support me and SoulFullHeart to continue providing free offerings such as this video series. You can donate through paypal: paypal.me/jelelleawen or become a one-time or regular patreon donor: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

This video series is a useful introduction and bridge to the powerful SoulFullHeart quantum healing process and cutting-edge way of life experienced and offered through group calls/sessions/retreats and 1:1 sessions with Jelelle and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators. For more information, visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Energy Update: Upcoming 12/12 Gateway/Full Moon Supporting Revelations & Completions

By Jelelle Awen

As Raphael and I were on a wonderful hike in the woods yesterday, we digested together about how a year ago were going through a brief, yet painful separation from each other. It was the first time in over ten years that we purposely needed to spend time apart to feel into what we wanted in the relationship and in our lives. It was a shock to be going through that crucible as we had just moved into our spacious house here in Victoria and into what we felt strongly was our higher timeline. There was much to be happy about, yet the truth of undigested and trailing edge energies between us from this life and mostly from our soul bonds/binds in other lifetimes needed to be felt. The higher frequencies of New Lemuria here in Victoria supported the flushing up of these energies.

We eventually reconciled until another separation period was necessary in March of this year. This one lasted for a painful and intense six weeks in which we even felt into moving apart from each other permanently. We thankfully came back together from these separations with renewed desire and commitment to be in the union. We fell in love again with each other in an arising way and with parts of ourselves too as the inner sacred union through parts work became a very important lifeline.

Yet, also, we came together with more clarity about what we needed from each other going forward to best serve our personal growth and SoulFullHeart too. As Raphael has been sharing lately in his videos, the growth edge of moving into co-leadership is something that we are in ongoing process with together, especially as we heal and feel into other lifetimes and karmic dynamics in our leadership expressions (which most people never get into or become conscious of at all.)

I am feeling how the energies since the 11/11 portal and through the 12:12 gateway coming up is one of supporting completions to open UP new beginnings, especially as we move into the New Earth Energies of 2020.  Energies of completion CAN be challenging to be with as they can feel so much like everything just isn’t working anymore, falling apart, or crumbling. Which, if it has been anchored to something that is no longer serving you, they ARE collapsing in order to make room for the new. The completions can be big (such as with a relationship completion, career and geography shifts, etc.) yet, also, they can be more subtle as we also let go of habits, limiting beliefs, previous knee-jerk reactions, suffering patterns, and more. 

The codes available for 12:12 (also supported by a full moon) assist with revelations/clarities and then the letting go in order to prepare for NEW beginnings in a NEW year. It can be more difficult to let these codes in if there is a resistance inside from parts of you to surrendering to the death/rebirth process and blocks to trusting the overall outcome of it. Your Inner Protector may want to keep you in a safety and comfort zone, even if you are consciously unhappy or frustrated, rather than take a risk into the unknown. You can begin negotiation with your Inner Protector around this by meeting them through this guided meditation: https://youtu.be/2FzBzK5vgck

I feel that loss can be our greatest teacher. It wakes us up from our routines and our habits. It forces us to go within and reconcile with ourselves. The grief and mourning connect us with a deeper appreciation and gratitude for what we are letting of and completing.

This 12/12 gateway is also connected to Christ/Sacred Masculine and Magdalene/Sacred Feminine consciousness. Yeshua and Magdalene can provide an infusion of Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine energies now to support the going in deeper or the leaving or completing. They provide a template of sacred union that activates our inner feminine and masculine. This inner union helps to heal inner polarities and fear dynamics that can keep us stuck and not able to let go.

The 12/12 gateway offers another opportunity to move into our bigness in ALL forms of unions and especially those from within us….from one part of us to another!

Photo of the sun codes was taken by me yesterday on our hike with a guided meditation filmed with me coming soon!

Join Raphael and I on Saturday, December 14th at 10:00am PDT for our last group transmission together of 2019. This group is to connect to the 12/12 gateway, digest the decade and prepare for 2020! This group transmission is open to the public. You can attend the group and/or receive the recording for an energy exchange of $15 CAD (about $11 USD). You can purchase the zoom link here to join us live and to receive the recording through your email: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/product-page/9-sacred-union-codes-group-transmission-jelelle-and-raphael-a

Or you can purchase it here through paypal: paypal.me/jelelleawen

More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/465469127414714/

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about  1:1 individual sessions with her for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Death & Rebirth During Ascension: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Sept 2, 2019)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

There is an ongoing process through Ascension that has every one of us, including Gaia Herself, going through different ‘death and rebirth’ cycles that are all sacred and all meant to bring us to renewed places within and in our outer lives too. Jelelle Awen shares in this week’s featured article, some vivid descriptions of this process and the ways in which it might look and feel for you and parts of you, personally:

“What has previously been and felt alive….what has been kNOwn as a life…..is going through death throes as the soul’s higher frequencies come through, shine through, and rumble through. These parts of you feel sad and lonely and like no one else in your world ‘gets it’ because, in many ways, they don’t. Those people so beloved to you in your 3D life (and even to your 4D transitional self too) are suddenly not able to resonate on the same ground as you. You are speaking now a foreign language and are forgetting the one you used to be so fluent in. You are compelled to attend inner funeral services that they don’t see the reason for. You are becoming a ghost to them even as you become so much clearer to yourself.”

The next virtual Group Transmission with Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be on September 14th at 10:00am PDT. The focus of this group is to learn more about karmic healing through unplugging through the lower 4D matrix, which is the control matrix created by the collective unconscious’ unprocessed and undigested karmic soul woundings, trauma playouts, good vs. evil battles, and archetypal projections. Unplugging from the Lower 4D Matrix is the ‘next step’ in awakening as you consciously life your veil of amnesia with the help of your Gatekeeper, an aspect of your Metasoul that guards and protects all the timelines/lifetimes that your soul has fragmented into.

SoulFullHeart Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Divine Feminine bridge Jelelle Awen will be hosting a virtual group over Zoom to provide a transmission of codes to assist you in your ongoing process of sacred feminine embodiment. You can receive these frequencies live with her (highly recommended) or take in the recording afterwards. If you attend the live group, you’ll have the opportunity to share with her what you experienced during the meditation and receive feedback/next steps of integration from her.

There will be another Group Transmission in October. The focus of this group on Saturday, October 12 2019 at 10:00am PDT is to learn more about the light body activation process that is ongoing as our carbon-based, 3D conditioned/programmed physical bodies transition into crystalline, living on prana/light energy bodies. The process of this seems to come in phases and cycles of detoxification of 3D chemicals and toxic food digestion energies along with activation on cellular, DNA, levels. They will especially focus on what the best fuel as food is for the light body to support its transition.

Join us in-person on September 10th @ 6pm PDT in Victoria, BC for a FREE guided meditation and sharing afterwards! We will lead you in a powerful, high vibrational guided meditation. Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be leading the guided meditation, as they have for people around the world in session space and through video sharings on metaphysical websites and on the SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube channel.

Come join us in the beautiful New Lemurian grids of Victoria, BC for a four-day SoulFullHeart community gathering this September 2019 for the Autumnal Equinox. The gathering starts at 10:00am on Friday the 20th of September and goes through 5pm on Monday the 23rd. This four-day gathering offers the opportunity to immerse into your soul and heart realities in a deep, powerful, and transmutational way.

We will be having another four-day community gathering this December 2019 for the Winter Solstice. The gathering starts at 10:00am on Wednesday the 18th of December and goes through 5pm on Saturday the 21st (each day’s events are from 10:00am until 5:00pm).

For more information on these events, visit: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

There is a NEW meditation video offered this week by Jelelle, this time without talking and featuring our brand new crystal singing bowls! She says this about the meditation:

“So excited to share this! My first meditation and activation with my new 432 HZ tuned, chakra, crystal singing bowls recorded early this morning (that’s why it is dim in the video)! I just got them yesterday yet my Metasoul is being activated and the understanding and remembering of them is coming through already from other timelines (especially Atlantis and Lemuria).

My dog Koda sweetly joins me in the background, grounding in the energies in his unique way. He hasn’t left my side since I started playing them and seems very soothed by the sounds, even falling asleep during this video!”

There are several new writings and audio blogs offered this week by Raphael Awen, Jelelle Awen, Kalayna Solais, and Gabriel Heartman. They feature energy updates, personal process digestions and updates, and some different ways in which you can digest and look at what may be coming up for you in your personal healing and Ascension process.

Raphael, Gabriel, and Kalayna offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities.

soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Our online shop is NOW OPEN! You can visit it to pay for individual sessions or to attend any of our gatherings, purchase the recording of past group transmissions or pay to attend an upcoming one, or to purchase books. Keep an eye out and your heart open for other offerings in the near future! https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/shop

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.

From Casket To Cradle: Necessary Death & Rebirth During Ascension

By Jelelle Awen

Has the death aspect of Ascension been validated enough? The necessary process of letting go of the old, the dying, and the mourning that accompanies it? I feel this aspect of the process deeply in others and in myself as I have experienced it so often over the years/lifetimes, in my own Metasoul, and as connected to the Universal soul/Divine Source too.

Rebirth CANNOT happen without death, as nature and Gaia show us and remind us. Just wanting the rebirth and the Ascension without the necessary death process is to limit the infinite possibilities that TRUE transmutation brings.

More and more over the years, souls (and their 3D selves) are just needing to share with me that they definitely feel like their worlds are collapsing, their lives are changing so much, and it feels like they are dying. And, I feel this with a deep compassion as the Divine has offered to me so many times….not able to take the pain away, yet validating that YES, this is the process and you’ll ultimately be OK. In a very significant way, your world is collapsing…..the 3D world anyway and the 3D self that has formed in so many fragmented aspects is too letting go, unanchoring, and this feels hugely like dying as the energy transmutes to a higher frequency.

What has previously been and felt alive….what has been kNOwn as a life…..is going through death throes as the soul’s higher frequencies come through, shine through, and rumble through. These parts of you feel sad and lonely and like no one else in your world ‘gets it’ because, in many ways, they don’t. Those people so beloved to you in your 3D life (and even to your 4D transitional self too) are suddenly not able to resonate on the same ground as you. You are speaking now a foreign language and are forgetting the one you used to be so fluent in. You are compelled to attend inner funeral services that they don’t see the reason for. You are becoming a ghost to them even as you become so much clearer to yourself.

I am shown by the 3D self (and its ego) scenes of rubble falling from previously solid ceilings…..ash thick in the previously clear air…..blazes lit to clear the excess away. The 3D self wants to be felt in all this letting go and change and it needs to be. You can provide so much comfort to this part of you as it falls and tumbles and loses so much. As your 3D self is negotiated with and felt by you, it can so much more easily let go with much less resistance and fear. More love can flow within your BEing to hold space for this process!!

The beautiful thing that seems to be happening right now is that the gap between the dying and the rebirth is shorter and, in some cases, happening in the same now. The old is being let go while the new is coming in and there is very little ‘time’ left then to mourn. This also seems to be true the more 5D self or higher self coming into your body that you have within you and the more you have surrendered to the death and rebirth process and already let go of so much of what needed to be let go of.

Then, trust grows inside of all of your parts that whatever is being released will be replaced by something better that is based in love and reflection of your soul and service of love here!

love,

Jelelle

~

This is a teaching and guided meditation with SoulFullHeart Facilitator Gabriel Heartman and me offering more about the death/rebirth cycle during awakening and a guided meditation to meet your ‘dying’ self and your ‘newborn’ Divine self:

Join Raphael and me next Saturday, September 14th for our monthly group transmission over zoom, starting at 10:00am PDT. We will teach about and guide you in a meditative space in which you can connect to your Gatekeeper aspect, visit the Lower 4D Matrix, begin the process of unplugging from it, and learn how to open up portals to other lifetimes/timelines that need karmic healing. More info to join us for a $15 CAD donation here live or to receive the recording afterwards: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/grouptransmissions

You can purchase here at our shop: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/shop

Or via paypal here (just make a note what you are purchasing and make sure your email is current): paypal.me/jelelleawen

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Divine Father Message For Today’s Solstice: Your New Day Is Dawning

By Kalayna Solais

“I know that the night must end,

and that the sun will rise…”

~ ‘Endless Night’ from the Lion King Musical

There’s a strong energy today from Divine Father in many different faces. He is here to celebrate the Solstice with us while holding space too for whatever is coming up from within us to be felt and held in our hearts. Maybe you’re more in a mourning phase rather than a celebration, or maybe you’ve just come through a rebirth canal and are feeling renewed and relieved. In either case, Father is very much here to be in all of that with you and with every part of you in reaction to it.

He is offering in the moment,

“Beloved of my very being…

I know the realizations hurt. I know the celebrations can be bittersweet. I know you have lost loved ones unfairly, I know it can feel nearly impossible to believe in Love, I know it hurts sometimes to even just wake up in the morning.

I also offer, however, that no matter what you’re facing or even celebrating, you’re meant to be exactly where you are.

You may feel like a rat in a labyrinth of sorts, yet every turn you choose, you’re on your way to a new phase, a new day, a new release into something higher and better than what you’ve yet experienced. You may feel like things cannot possibly BE any better than they are, yet even this is another stop on the journey that undulates, expands, and contracts. You are always on your way somewhere. You are never abandoned. I AM here, I AM with you, I AM holding you, even when it’s hard to feel as if I could be anywhere at all.

The night ends. The new day dawns. You are not ever ending, though your current phase may be… you are always and forever on your journey, infinitely growing, infinitely finding your way, infinitely deepening in the gravitas of the love that you ARE.

With so much LOVE, so much encouragement, so much support for you to BE where you are and even who you are in this moment,

~ Divine Father”

This Solstice feels as if it brings with it a poignant rebirth. The birth contractions are real and many of you have been experiencing them deeply, as have I, yet His presence is here and now, holding our hands with every new step we take.

Though His presence can be controversial because of much projection onto Him, he invites us all individually to keep letting Him in however we can. This may mean that feeling Him is more triggering than comforting for a time, yet I feel deeply that he gets why that is and holds space even for the angst that needs to be vented without judgement, only presence.

Maybe today you’ll feel His presence in the sun shining on your skin, your plants, your swimming pool. Maybe today you’ll feel His arms around your shoulders as you sob and cry out against the unfairness parts of you are feeling about life right now. Maybe today you’ll feel him cheering alongside you as you move into the dawning of your new day.

The night is not endless. The new day must dawn. And in that entire process, He is here to love you as you courageously choose to just keep going, whatever that means for you in this moment.

Much love!

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

You Are Being Reborn: Message On Easter

By Jelelle Awen

You are ARISING from the ashes of your purposefully burnt up life, choosing the match, the heat, the way in which your now feeling false world will burn.

You are being REBORN from that which has been cast off, birthing out from that which is true as the only real thing that can remain.

You are RESURRECTING your form out of a dying and collapsing reality, claiming a new way of BEing as your sacred humanity.

You are serving love as your greatest purpose, feeling in every moment how you can BE THIS MORE.

You are moving beyond fears of an unenLIGHTened soul, accessing your awakening soul’s courage and desire for UNION.

You are opening and healing your Higher Heart, Personal Sun, and Gaia Ascension Chakras through PURE love, letting in your 5D sacred human template.

You are co-creating a NEW Golden Earth possibility, feeling in every moment how you can BE THIS NOW.

You are awakening from the deep sleep of the forgetful soul, remembering the LOVE from which you came and already ARE…..

~

This is the writing I share every year on this Easter….Blessings and MUCH love to you on this celebration of Christ Consciousness Arising, Divine Feminine illuminations with the recent FULL moon energies, and our ongoing Ascension together!!

 

~

2019-04-21

This is a day celebrating ultimately the process of death/rebirth and ALL that it offers in the willingness to let the false/fearful die and be let go in order to resurrect into a new, more Divine expression. This is beyond religions yet more of an ongoing invitation to surrender to become the phoenix that arises out of the most necessary ashes!

I feel the genuine love of Yeshua and in his Christiel form too on this day…..beaming his heart out to all of us in admiration and invitation!

From our hearts and souls to yours, we offer you so much love and resonant support on this brave journey into the NEW. Thank you for joining us in whatever ways and means you ARE.

much love,
Jelelle and SoulFullHeart Community

Death/Rebirth, Relationship Shiftings And New Alignments From Within: Personal Update From Raphael and Jelelle

By Jelelle Awen

Raphael shares vulnerably below his recent death/rebirth process that entwines and connects to mine and our ‘usness’ together too as we separated during it. This latest phase of our journey together has brought me so much into my own heart space, into tender holding with parts of myself and multiple metasoul aspects as well….at one point working with four different timelines at once! I could feel and focus on myself as a woman/queen/mate/healer, etc. and even with the times of immense grief and sadness coming up….so feel the core of self love and goodness and trust that is THERE inside for me always to lean into after all these years of parts/metasoul work and deep connection with the Divine.

I am amazed (yet somehow also not suprised?) as the timeline shifts again to realign us all together in community again. I certainly felt during this time of separation from Raphael, the trailing edge and karmic frequencies of our bond together, manifesting this life and other lifetimes/timelines too. I fully went into owning and feeling my side of the sometimes contentious energies between us. I learned and continue to learn so much! This is deep work to we have signed up to continue to do together, as so many counterpart soul mates have too!

I have been so amazed at how the SoulFullHeart process itself has so been there for me through the grief, the pain, the letting go, the realizations….all of it and then some…and I am amazed at how Raphael is moving through what he is too as he leans into it more as well.

With this shifting, we are feeling to remain rooted/grounded/based here in Victoria BC with plans to travel to Europe in the fall to scout out future retreat/group session places there too. It just feels like I want it ‘all’ honestly…the rooted/grounded heart home with my beloveds and the adventure/activation of travel into these ancient places and eventually hold groups/retreats there too.

My heart feels relieved and lighter too as the Divine seems to be gifting me with exactly what I want and need as I was so willing to let it all go (as seems to be the process honestly). Timelines really are collapsing and re-emerging SO FAST these days!

Thank you all of your sweet support during this time!
love,
Jelelle Awen

~

By Raphael Awen

I am so glad and relieved to be on the other side of what has felt like my deepest dark night experience this life to have opened out a deeply profound and meaningful reconnection with my beloveds after a long feared relationship meltdown.

I wanted to update those of you who have held myself, Jelelle, Gabriel, Kalayna and Raianna and our growing community in your heart.

I can’t hardly describe to you the death and rebirth process, the dark night of the soul process that is now opening out to love and life. It’s like the karmic shadow bill came due quite suddenly on what was underneath my relationship with Jelelle and by extension; inseparable relationship with SoulFullHeart and its community.

Really letting go of being in romance with Jelelle brought up, pretty quick after what felt like a treasured phase of deep and real appreciations, being faced with my own buried resentments based in real dynamics in our bond (as Peter Gabriel says ‘the seeds of my undoing that had been there from the start’), but so amplified by Metasoul realities that have been a long time in wanting to be felt and owned by me. The ripening projections of what was not reconciled me-to-me all but made it impossible to really feel and process any of those resentments, reactions between us that had been placed down under to protect a goodness and bounty where on one level, I always felt like I was in a permanent honeymoon phase with Jelelle, and by extension with our growing community. Maybe some of the cognitive dissonance of ‘this is all too good to be true’ had to do with this unreconciled shadow that always threatened to undermine the goodness. Gabriel and Kalayna can certainly speak to the rumblings that would come out of the woodwork at times between Jelelle and I.

This week, I found and connected with a Metasoul, whose name is Pillar (pronounced Pee-lar), whose timeline is the fall of Atlantis, who knew deep romance with his beloved Charee, (pronounced Kah-ree), and love within community, a ‘haven within a haven’ as he called it, but lost it all when he spoke to what he felt was the unowned shadow within the group. We felt and digested his devastating experience with being shunned, and losing it all, and the blame and shame, and all the after-the-game quarterbacking about what could have been different had he done things differently, particularly with more vulnerability. He also felt the words famously quoted from the Bhagavad Gita, by Robert Oppenheimer, the man credited with inventing the atomic bomb; “I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.”

Pillar and others in my parts and Metasoul have also deeply felt this theme of their truth being the torpedo of all that was good. My this-life history of leaving Christianity and the loss around that, as well as later losing the group that Jelelle and I met in, after being kicked out, so amplified these themes in my Metasoul, coming back to haunt me once again. I so get what people are speaking to when they mention their or someone’s ‘Inner Demons’, but see it as aspects of our soul awaiting our open heart to digest what they need to move their trauma, and afford us the overflow from their movement.

Pillar had the opportunity this week, being held in my heart, to feel me sort through, my own agony of feeling a future without beloveds, without SoulFullHeart, and then to make new choices and vulnerable reconnections. It began while staring down an insanity, seeking the handrails of goodwill and decency being restored here in the house we share, which was really rumbled the day before I moved downstairs to the basement suite, where part of me got vulgar in words towards Kalayna (the real low point). Gabriel’s subsequent help with daily checkins and space holding for Pillar recently helped things move through the birth canal. Each step brought new openings, and yesterday, after not seeing Jelelle for 2 weeks, and having limited contact with our community here, we met together as a group for some very precious words and tears together, and I was welcomed back into their hearts and my familiar treasured community.

Imagining a future of starting over in seeking a new community, a service of love expression within that and future romance possibilities looked and felt so hard, when my truth doesn’t resonate with any other known offerings that are out there, leaving me some hard road of beginning from the ground up, based in and on unresolved resentments, and ‘I’ll show them’, did not feel like a path I or any of my parts really wanted to embark on.

Well, that’s the short version of all this, which I hope to expand out into a new lived in reality on the other side of a huge compartment in my heart and soul and relationality now being integrated.

Jelelle even said to me at one point while we had a moment yesterday, ‘you never know what’s going to arise between us’, and my heart swooned, all the while knowing that time and space for integration and new discovery, new ways of being are also needed. I can tell you, with some trepidation, that it remains my (now, not-so secret) hope, that what does arise between us flowers naturally back into romance, but if it doesn’t, I really do trust that what arises can be and will be even better. I truly died to what was between us, and even SoulFullHeart, and am sooo grateful to be emerging back from the dead.

Parts of me are seeking guarantees from the Divine that there isn’t any more dark nights that will need to be this difficult. I trust that the fusion and pain was all necessary, though I really do hope to never again suppress anything on this magnitude, as it just hurts way too much. In that way, I can be the answer to the above prayer.

Thank you to all of you here who have ached for me, letting your heart be broken with mine, and rooting for me and loving me. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Much love and anticipation for the good that wants to come for us all, even through the shadow,

Raphael, xoxo

Death & Rebirth Cycle Q&A Live Stream and Guided Meditation

In this live stream which aired on Facebook on April 3, 2019, SoulFullHeart Teachers/Facilitators, Jelelle Awen and Gabriel Solais, offer a space for digestion of the March Ascension energies and the process of death/rebirth that they are inviting you into. They also offer an update to what the April energies feel like.

Part way through the video, they lead a guided meditation to connect with the ‘death doula’ energy inside of you that allows for the death process for parts of you that need it… and the midwife that can birth the higher-dimensional timeline/reality into the NEW.

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You…Message From Divine Mother

By Jelelle Awen

You…..emerging into your own light, recognizing all the beloved parts of yourself, finding your own security inside.

You….facing the reality about what isn’t you anymore, letting go of the things that no longer fit, mourning the losses of previous preciousness.

You….embracing the sometimes sudden shiftings, allowing the snakeskin sheddings, arising as a Phoenix out of the ashes.

You….being your own mate, healing the polarities of your inner masculine and feminine, experiencing your sacred union from within.

You….opening your heart with vulnerability, awakening your soul with integrity, taking care of your body with sincerity.

You…..becoming sacred human, celebrating all expressions of your BEing, remembering your Divine essence as Infinite Love. ~

Message from and with Divine Mother this morning…..received and shared with love ❤

Here’s a meditation with me and Kalayna to connect with the beautiful faces/energies of Her that you most need: https://youtu.be/buMlCNQp24c

Jelelle Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator of SoulFullHeart Healing, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions and group sessions (virtual and in person), events, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Photo by Julia Caesar on Unsplash